Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - The Mouse in the House

Episode Date: December 4, 2022

The guys talk about vermin of one type or another, and their various strategies and comfort levels around them! What an ep! As always big thanks to our sponsors. Go to Shopify.com/qq for a FREE trial. Thanks Raycon!.  For a limited time, go to buyraycon.com/qq and use code HOLIDAY for 15% off your entire Raycon order.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up with? Oh, forget it Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien

Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here So, hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers. I am one half of that podcast, senior writer for Last Week Tonight, author of How to Fight Presidents, and currently a hiatus, inexplicably still sick boy daniel o'brien

joined us always our co-host mr soren buoy soren say hello or read me my last rights hello everybody i'm soren buoy i have no interest in reading daniel's last rights because you're not dying dan you're not dying but soren mice it's raining today it's raining today and i'm sick But Soren, it's raining today. Tell me the symptoms. It's raining today and I'm sick. And Spotify Wrapped came out today and I couldn't figure it out. Are you?

Okay, these are not related things. An ancient Chinese proverb, Dan, says that the sound of the rain on your roof is not the sadness of a weeping sky, but the grief of he who listens. I don't understand. about that no the gray sky has nothing to do with anything a gray sky is just a gray sky it's just you choosing to think that that's a bad thing is this what you is this what you're like when your kids are sick too when they're like can i have some yeah i'm intolerable can i have some soup and then you just like feed them homework i i'm a really shitty parent when it comes to being sick i'm like truly i'm truly not comforting at all and it drives my wife crazy not only because i'm without with the

kids but i'm that way with her too sure like she's sick and like I'll come into a room. She's got like a humidifier going and she's not feeling well and I'll be like, are you feeling any better yet? She's like, why would you ask it that way? Why is the yet at the end of that? I'm like, I don't know.

I just, I'm checking on you. That's not checking on me. Thanks to Raycon for supporting Quick Question. With Raycon, you get the same quality audio as other premium audio brands, but at half the price. Right now, go to buyraycon.com slash QQ to get 15% off site-wide with code HOLIDAY, plus free shipping. Thanks to Shopify for supporting Quick Question. Shopify is a platform designed for anyone to sell anywhere, giving entrepreneurs like myself the resources once reserved for big business.

Sign up for a free trial at Shopify.com slash QQ. It is really tough dealing with a sick person when you're very healthy because they're just boring. They're not any fun. And like, I'll be texting someone when they're sick. I'm like, hey, are you feeling any better? No, still sick. I will fuck you then my kids do get a lot sweeter my son does particularly my son is like a lot he says a lot more please and thank yous and uh he needs more things but he's also like way just nicer in a way and also not he's not doing bits and he's seven

so he's at an age where like he wants to do jokes. He wants to do like things that are funny, like, hey, watch this. I'm going to fall off the couch and pretend I'm dead kind of stuff. Yeah. But he's not any good at any of it yet. It's all really clumsy and bad. And so it's just a lot of just like tolerating stuff that's not working yet. Yeah.

His type 15 isn't like quite set yet. I think the other thing about it, it's tough when kids are sick because they don't really understand it as well as adults do, obviously. So when I'm sick, I'm just going to decide to be sick and ride it out for as long as I can. But when my nephews or nieces are sick, you can see that they still want to play and be happy. And you can see some flash of recognition in their face when they're having a good time happy. And you could see like some flash of recognition

in their face where they're having a good time. And then you could see their face change when like they run a little bit warmer or their body finds some other creative way to remind them that they're still sick. And just like, no, I don't understand. But I'm having a good time. I know. You have to, they're just so blown away by like the expectorate particularly, the snot and stuff. We're like, my son's just getting, I can hear him getting angry in the bathroom and yelling at his nose and going, I just blew you. And it was full again and he was so mad. And at least I hope that's what was happening. We'll be right back they also you have to be careful when you give them uh motrin or you give

them tylenol because if you give it to them in the middle of the day then there's their fever will drop but it keeps them then though they're like i'm better and they want to do stuff like they want to jump around and be active and you don't want it you want to just relax and like a fever in one way is like really helpful because it makes them calm the fuck down it's just like their body needs to just shut down for a little bit and they're miserable during it but at least like the fever is keeping them pinned to a bed or a couch yeah um that's speaking on behalf of my children right now who are sick oh good yeah we've just got one thing after another this season, just because I think part of it is they came out of COVID

after being very careful and their immune systems have atrophied. And so they're like getting everything at once. But it's when you have two kids who are sick at once and then you and your wife are kind of like on the brink, like you can start to feel the scratchy throat. It's just, you're just in the trenches, man. It's bad. I feel like I've been either sick with the same thing for an entire month or I just keep getting sick again with a different thing. It's always felt like a cold. And I really,

a few days ago, thought I was like completely out of the woods. It was truly just like my voice had come back, my everything had come back. And then these last two days, again, it was really bad. And I had, I'm going to be vulnerable here on this podcast because I've got a trip tomorrow. I've got my vacation.

My flight takes off in listeners a few hours. And when I first started getting sick again Monday, whatever day it was, and a friend of mine that I had just saw recently, they tested positive for COVID, for the awful COVID. And I was like, like fuck i have to take a covid test because right i think i still have the same cold that i've had this whole time but there is a chance that it's covid and like i i'm more than a little ashamed to admit that

briefly i was like or i don't take a covid test because if i don't take it and i don't know that i have covid then i'm not an asshole if i get on that plane and fly with it but i took a test and i and the test was negative and then i even took a second one i took a second more serious to the right covid test uh but like i i took and it was one of the ones that takes 30 minutes so i took it and then i left my house i just like had to like go for a drive by myself very much like if this is this might be the last 30 minutes where i i i don't have covid and so let me just like be out in the world for a little bit longer even if it's still just me and then i got back and that test was also negative thankfully it's just a 30 day cold or whatever the fuck new thing i have instead but it was really like i did have to to i was

confronted with like doing moral calculus in my brain as i was driving. It was just like, if this is, if this is positive, am I just going to cancel this trip? I guess I just do that. I guess I, I, I, I cancel this trip. I cancel the hotel because, uh, there's no world in which I go to my vacation and then, oops, I tested positive here on this island. Like, like there, there's a paper trail now that, that people would, would know. And, and like worse than that, I would know that I knowingly got on a plane with COVID. And so I wouldn't be able to, to, to do anything except cancel this trip. And I really didn't want to. to do anything except cancel this trip and i really didn't want to yeah i think that in in theory like having secret covid it'd be like oh it'd be easy all i'm doing is i'm like if i just

wear this mask the whole time i can get there and then i'm like in my hotel room everybody everybody's fine yeah but in like actually the logistics of it i think that the entire time it would haunt you like any time that you like is sitting in airport where for whatever reason you like need your your phone to see your face so you can get into it and you just pull your mask away for a second you'd be like yeah well shit that anyone who's near me i think i may have just gotten sick or the that's the the maids the hotel staff that like have to come into your room. You're like, every single turn, I think you'd be like, fuck, I fucked up. I shouldn't have done this.

Yeah. But that's good to hear that you're negative. Yeah. And also like the narrative, again, the narrative would have gotten away from me where if I just tried to do the thing where like, let me just wear three masks and get on a plane. And then if I have to quarantine, I will quarantine in a nice hotel on the plane and then yeah if i have to quarantine i will quarantine in a nice hotel on an island and i'll keep to myself which was most of the plan anyway but if i got if i did have covid and i did this shitty thing and flew and decided to quarantine there if i if things took a turn for the worse and my covid got really really bad then

then like then i'm out because then I would be calling home and they'd be like, where did you get COVID? Do you think it was the plane? Yeah, it was probably the plane. Oh, that's crazy. Didn't three of your friends from Friendsgiving also get COVID this week? Yeah, that's nuts. That's real nuts. I don't know what happened there. Independent. Independent thing is crazy. there uh independent independent thing is crazy um yeah i was i i told you when i got covid that i struggled with some uh with a moral choice and went the other direction with it although i guess mine was less less as big but i found out i had covid and then waited a whole day before telling other people that i had been on a trip with that That's right. Before telling them because I didn't want to be the first.

Yeah. And I didn't want to be patient zero. And then nobody else got it. And I was like, well, all right, I got to tell them now. And nobody else got it. Not even my family got it. That's good. I feel like I'm going to sit here and like attempt to rack up some good guy points from our audience.

Be like, listen, I took the test twice. I gave myself two opportunities to maybe cancel this vacation. And what was a serious one you said? Yeah. One was a serious one. Yeah. The other one was like a silly one. Yeah.

Yeah. I just, I spit into a paper plate and I like, like hold it vertically. Pushed it around too thick. Yeah. I spit into a paper plate and I like, like hold it vertically. Yeah. Just to see like the, the legs on the spit really. And then make my best guess. Yeah. Viscous.

This is fine. I'm fine. And I, I, I do know fully well that I'm, I'm, that I made the right choice in getting tested and that I would have been willing to cancel my vacation.

Uh, but I also know that our listeners are also thinking, yeah, but you have something. You're bringing something onto the plane. And like, yeah, listen. Shut up. You don't understand. We used to do this every time we flew.

Everybody was sick all the time. It was just the way we lived. Well, tell your friends from Friendsgiving, Dan, that they need to get actual PCR tests so that they are on the record and that they're in the system. Because I've now heard horror stories about people getting long COVID. They tested themselves and just isolated. And then there's no record in the medical industry that they ever had COVID. So the insurance company is like, are you sure you inhabit?

I think you're just having like, are you sure you even had it? I think you're just having like, this is something completely different. You got fibromyalgia now for no reason. Jesus. Yeah. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. That's the sound of bells because we're coming up on the holidays. Happiest season, right?

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uh it started to go away just like yours and then all of a sudden it just came back out of nowhere and she started to get a fever again and we're like oh fuck so we took her in and they're like all right well her she said her lungs sound fine and her throat looks good dutch looks like she has an ear infection so it's probably that and i was like would that cause all that coughing and mucus and they're like i don't know i was like okay then amoxicillin it is and now she's feeling much better so we're on to the next one whatever the next hit is we're gonna get that one rsv we're thinking we've taken a few looks at it seeing that okay so yeah you did some some early scouting yeah it looks like rsv as far as like this season like this is the one to get it there's a everyone's like trying to get this. Yeah. Everyone's out there in the streets.

Like this is the one. Yeah. My brother, man, he got right in on the ground floor with that one months ago. Oh, so smart. I should have been on it a little quicker.

Cause it's just, you can't find it anywhere anymore. No. Um, yeah. And then somehow, uh, these childhood sicknesses,

these things that affect only young, young children, uh, my wife and I have mostly avoided, like we felt a little tickle and stuff like that, but we're testing throughout the whole thing. Cause every single time somebody gets sick in our house, we're like, God damn it. Like the kids can't go to school if they've got it. And there's like all these, it's just this big ripple effect if somebody in the house has COVID. And so we're just testing and testing.

And so far it's been fine. Although it really, fine is conditional because I'm giving these, I'm putting these nasal swabs in my two-year-old's nose and she doesn't understand why I'm torturing her every day. Yeah. Well, you know, eventually that might just be a thing that we do to our kids forever i don't know i know i was a real demoralizing day the day that i had to get my son new masks because he outgrew his old ones yeah oh that is i was like oh we are deep in this but i was also as as i was doing the the moral calculus for this uh potential covid flight situation there a shittier part of me was thinking well if i do have covid like how long are we gonna do this covid's never gonna go away

is covid the one thing that we're gonna test ourselves for before flights forever or at some point are they're just gonna say you don't worry about it it's yeah i think as long as it's inundating hospitals it's still an issue but as soon as it's not anymore and i think people are going to treat it like that people are just going to be like oh you got covid yeah all right well let's get back to work yeah oh but that day's not here yet no well i'm glad you don't have it although i will say this reprieve that i've had where i'm bulletproof basically, or I'm an invincible human the past few months has been just awesome. I know that is such a silver lining. I know how it's going to feel the first day that I don't have a single symptom again. I know historically how great that feels and it's going to be awesome.

historically how great that feels and it's going to be awesome and maybe i'll be the luckiest cat in the world and it'll happen smack dab in the middle of my vacation and i'll and i'll just be surrounded and full of joy are you so do you know anyone where you're going or are you going alone i'm going alone this is a thing you do regularly i think that's okay to reveal on this podcast you go on a lot of vacations alone i do i i i like it a lot um i think i've come around to preferring to have a travel buddy when i'm doing one of like like costa rica was really happy to have a partner there because we just like did a bunch of excursions and kept ourselves safe this is an island vacation this is this is like you can you can snorkel you can fish but there's not really like hiking to be found there's not like big exciting adventure stuff and there there's barely

any things to look at it's really just like be on the white beach look at the clear water look at. It's really just like be on the white beach, look at the clear water, sit and read and relax. And that's like, yeah, I'll spend four days just doing that by myself, which is like a full relaxing, relaxing, relaxing vacation, which is not typically the kind of trip that I take. No, no. Do you find that on the normal trips that you take where you're like zip lining or you're going snorkeling and stuff stuff and you're on a boat with a bunch of people that are couples and stuff that people are distrustful of you because you're on vacation alone um i think i've gotten more uh sad looks than than distrustful looks i think that's uh i distinctly remember being in Hawaii on a sunset cruise that turned out to be a couple's cruise that people didn't understand. And then at one point, one of the staffers asked if he wanted me to take my picture.

Oh, Jesus. Like at the end of the boat where couples were posing at sunset. And I was like, no, God. It's bad enough that I have to kill everyone on this ship. Because even on a much smaller scale, when I dine alone, by the way, a thing that you also do and the love, like eating alone, going to the movies alone, these are all like great things. How I think, you're okay with that. But when I eat alone, the wait staff does not understand they're like coming back and they're like um so are you expecting someone else i'm like no it's just me yeah they're like oh okay and then like you'll see them go to talk to somebody

else they're like trying to suss out the narrative of how this happened yeah they're it's it's like it's the first time they've ever had to do this math before where it's like, hey, our two-person tables, they work for one also, right? There's not a balance issue that I'm not thinking about. Now, this silverware was out on the table. Should I collect it and wash it again? How is that going to work? They do.

I've found they get a little bit grumpier if you're eating dinner for one and you wave the option to sit at the bar. It's like, no, no, no. I don't want to sit at the bar. I want a table at a restaurant. They really prefer it if you sit at the bar because that makes more sense to everybody. Yeah, that's too bad. I don't want to. I want to sit.

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shopify.com slash QQ. Go to shopify.com slash QQ to start selling online today. Shopify.com slash QQ. Well, Dan, I have a quick question for you if you want to start the show. Yeah, let's start the show. Okay. Well, it's almost the holidays and around this time of year, I think a lot about the holidays cause I, I love them. Um, and I love like the games that you play. That's what made me one of my favorite things about the holidays is that, yeah, you're getting together with family and everything, but there's those nights where kids have gone to bed and everybody's like, let's like, let's play something. Let's do like a fun thing. And I wanted to ask you a question, Dan. Oh, what is a, like a party game that you're just like way too good at that? It's not even fun to play with you anymore. Like

you can't possibly play it with other people because you've advanced to the level where it's it's not fun for them and it's not fun for you and i'll go first with this great there's mine is football i'm just thanksgiving just happened and i'm just too dominant flag touch full tackle. Doesn't matter. I'm flexible. Wow, wearing shoulder pads, Dan. Okay.

All right. Let's play. There's a game called Secret Hitler. And there's another one that's a similar game called Resistance. There's a few in this genre where it's kind of like among us um just more convoluted where you're trying to suss out who the bad guy is and in this game in the case of secret hitler there are usually like three to five bad guys and you're gonna and there's a lot of just talking among everybody and like trying to catch somebody in a lie and making

accusations like you're in the witch trials and somebody else being like, defend yourself. And the other person has to make a speech about why they're not it. Now, I've played these games so much. The first one I played was Resistance. I think you and Michael and I and maybe Brendan went to a tabletop board game convention at one point

and I found this game and fell in love with it you can play with strangers you can play with friends and secret hitler is very similar and i played it at work a bunch and at work everybody is so varsity at it uh because they played it a lot and then also because they're just storytellers i mean they're good at lying they're good at making shit up and they're good at making things sound cohesive and, and like wrapping a whole, uh, wrapping up everything that you've said or done up until that point. And, um, I've gotten so, so good at it that I take it home and I try and play it with other people. And when they're brand new to it, I'm just like, I don't have the patience for this. I know exactly who it is already. Because they fucked up. They fucked up at some point.

And no one else understands it. No one can follow the same train of thought. And it's just not any fun. It's not any fun anymore. Yeah. It's been years, but different pockets of people in my life have quietly uh started refusing to play the movie game with me i don't know if it's actually called the movie game or where it comes from we've always been calling it the movie game in my life everywhere that i've been it's it's the simplest game in the. You start off with a movie or an actor,

The Green Mile, and then the next person has to say an actor in that movie, Tom Hanks, and then the next person has to say another movie that that actor was in. And on and on, you can't repeat movies, you can't repeat actors, you can't do sequels. Those are the only rules that we've ever played by. And I, going back to high school was playing this

with my family who can be very competitive with it and like co-workers and other different groups of friends and I'd reached a point one summer where no one wanted to play with me anymore because I just had a very good recall of movies and actors it's not like a difficult skill it's not it's like barely brag where they just be like oh yeah i've seen a lot of movies and i commit things to memory pretty easily um but i would also like i was good enough at it as like i imagine chess players are where it stopped being about just playing the game to keep the game going and then it was like i know what i can say to lead this person into a trap where i will be able to name an actor or a movie that they've

not heard of and uh when you do that enough times and it becomes clear to the people that you're playing with that they know that the game lasts as long as i allow it to last it's not fun to play with me anymore you're suddenly god in the game yeah yeah that's no longer fun for anyone else because at some point you'll say i'm bored of this one and then you'll name some fucking crazy polish movie uh that makes sense that makes perfect sense and that is also the a game it seems almost strictly designed for you yeah that's just how your brain works yeah that's great i played that i haven't played it i haven't played it in so long and i want to play it again okay well i'll play with you sometime yeah not now

no no no but like i don't know like a few minutes yeah um yeah another one that was when i was younger uh in college i played a lot of and in high, I played a lot of foosball and that's not really as much like a party game, but that's a game where now when like we go to a bar or something and there's a foosball table and someone's like, let's play foosball. I'm like, this isn't going to be any fun for either one of us. I am going to fucking destroy you. Did you, did Lisa Foyles put up a good fight for you shout out lisa foils yeah she was she's a friend of the site and uh former all that cast member that that just ended up in our circle in

the crack.com days yeah i remember go ahead we went on a trip with her we went on a trip to wisconsin she did like it we were like our four a. a into stand up and then we also did some live sketches and stuff but she came with us i think to do some sketches and uh at this little uh college town we there was a foosball table and she's like oh no and i said of all that i played this every single day and i was like yeah well i played against some swiss kids so you're still not gonna be better than me and um we. And so it was really interesting because usually if you play in pairs, you've got, you're, you're going to be strong at one thing, either offense or defense. And we had,

it was clear that both of us had been used to playing in pairs because she was very good at defense, like staggeringly good at defense. And I am an, I'm an offensive player. And so as we're like playing, it immediately becomes clear. Like the ball is just on one end of the, of the foosball table and it just stays there and no points are being scored or anything where it's just this huge standoff. And I was like, Oh, and she was kind of thinking, Oh, cause she had relied on her defensive play to like get her up to the front. And I was like, oh, and she was kind of thinking, oh, because she had relied on her defensive play to like get her up to the front. And I was the other direction.

And so it became like really a very contentious game. Yeah. I don't even I it sticks out in my memory, not because I watched any gameplay, but it just sticks out as like the period of time where I just lost Soren to foosball for what felt like hours. There was clearly somebody else at this bar who had just watched us perform and was like, you're my cracked guy. You're the guy that I like. And he seemed like a very cool guy, but he was like, hey, I'm going to get you a drink. What do you want? And he wanted to be like the dude there who was like, I'll show you around. And as soon as the foosball started happening, this person just drifted away into nothing. Settle for your second choice there, buddy.

Have fun talking to Cody all night. He's sick. He's perpetually sick. Yeah. Oh boy. That was right. That was the trip where everyone started throwing up on the plane basically on the way there and a bunch of people got some sort of airborne

like food sickness it was very strange um but yeah so that's my party game have you played secret hitler have i played that with you i think i played it uh once in st louis obispo with uh michael and abe and michael's brother and a couple of other people and it was one of those games that like started at three or four in the morning after it's like that was resistance on michael's birthday yeah yeah we played resistance then yeah that was very fun okay yeah we'll play secret hitler at some crack reunion we'll play it yeah resistance. Resistance, I think, was... I'm sure that the guys and women that you're playing with at work are even better at it,

but even playing Resistance with the cracks team of filmmakers and writers was like, this isn't fun for me. I'm not having a good time. Wait, I thought you would have said, this is way more fun. What aspects of it didn't you like that that everyone gets really into it yeah everyone's trying to mean big dick each other about it and i'm just like get out of here it is actually a game worth playing with other people

like family members and stuff because all of a sudden you'll see somebody in a completely new like if they're good at it out of nowhere like if they just start playing it all they're just these great liars out of nowhere you're like oh yeah in my general life i have to keep an eye on you now yeah yeah why haven't so good why haven't you been using this Or have you? Yeah. So I got a quick question for you. Yeah, go ahead. Maybe we're talking, getting into this a little bit with various sickness talk, but have you ever found something

embarrassing that you hesitated to admit and then you admitted it and then found out it was way more common than you thought? I'll go first. go ahead there was a mouse in my house and i was to begin with horrified and ashamed this never happened to me before and i thought it was going to be something that i just never told anyone i thought it would be something that I was going to solve and figure out because like,

even though I am very aware of how I keep my house and it's a, it's a clean house with, with not a lot of food around. And, you know, I do a good job staying on, on top of the hygiene of the house overall. It was still to me like, this is, this is the lowest form of low this is as bad as it gets in terms of vermin in your house and i can't let anyone know because then no one's going to want to hang out with me ever again because i'm pigpen and you invited a mouse into your house right and messes when i finally like started telling people uh almost everyone to a person was like, yeah, we had that a little while back too. Everyone in New Jersey was just like, yeah, it's the time of year.

It gets cold. They start looking for warmth. So they come in and every friend I had was chiming in. It was like, yeah, you got to make sure. I thought I had one mouse, but it turns out it was multiple mice. like everyone has tips everyone has ideas i talked to i texted my parents about it and my dad was like yeah november december lay some traps get rid of them it stinks but it's not the end of the world they'll go away like everybody and i immediately felt uh

so much better about this and i know that um my takeaway from the experience should have been that i should share more things with more people to realize that things that freak you out are more common than you think but instead my takeaway is i'm going to turn this into content for the podcast I didn't learn shit I don't so I think I still think having a mouse in your house is kind of gross yeah I mean it didn't happen to me

that's I mean that's how people get hantavirus Dan what is that? I think we've talked about it on the podcast before and we had this exact same exchange where you're like what is what on earth is that hantavirus is a it's like a cousin of the ebola virus it's mostly in the square states it's like in arizona new mexico colorado and utah where in mouse feces there's a virus called hantavirus that kicks up with the dust when that stuff like breaks down and gets all dehydrated and it gets into your lungs and then you're you

die from it like're you die from it like and you die a really terrible pulmonary death it's not the thing that makes me cough and sneeze for a month right because then it's not that thing no okay um i i will tell you sorry that the mouse situation has been resolved that's good oh thank god oh i was cringing in my seat yeah um when i went home to Colorado for the summer, I grew up in a log cabin out in the woods. And when you're out in the woods, there's a lot more of the fauna of nature kind of creep in on the house where they're like, oh, this is like a nice inviting place to live. And I was used to it. I was used to sitting in

my living room at night, watching television and just hearing traps going off in the house. I'd be like, oh, there's another one. But I didn't think that my wife was necessarily used to that. And so, this last time that we were there, I went into the kitchen one night and I was in the pantry and I saw a mouse. I heard like rustling and I was like, is that and then I saw that there was a mouse trying to chew at the corner of a plastic bag that was full of food and when it saw me it fucked off because it was like oh no okay I know how this goes

and it ran away and then I just didn't tell my wife that I had seen a mouse like I told my parents sort of privately but I was embarrassed that there was a it was not even my house anymore but I was still embarrassed about this was a it was not in my house anymore but i was still embarrassed about this being a house where like i'm from and that we just deal with mice sometimes yeah so i'm with you i get that and then go ahead it was it was tough the things that my brain did. The first time I saw the mouse dart across the floor,

immediately my brain went, that's a mouse. And then my brain went, hold on. Someone tell that guy to calm down. It can't be a mouse. We're not the kind of family that has mice. Maybe, let's see. Maybe it was just a really big bug. Like, well, that's also bad bad and then my brain was finally just

like maybe it was just like a trick of our eyes it's like we're just we sound so fucking desperate right now it's a mouse let's what are we doing um there was a thing i used to get embarrassed about before i realized that everyone it like happened to everybody was um i would see like um like a naked woman and my my junk would get hard like it would get stiff just when you were a kid right yeah i mean it doesn't anymore no i realized everybody grows out of it yeah um no i i have a lot of like parasite ones like one is um this was deeply embarrassing we got colleen started getting bit up by something and we didn't know what uh back when we were just dating and living together and then i found one day just like on her i i saw like what i was just a speck, and I went to go brush it away, and it jumped off of her.

And I was like, what the fuck was that? And then finally did some more thorough examinations of the ground and everything, and eventually got what jumped on me was a flea. And we didn't have pets, but we had fleas. And I was like, this is humiliating like we have to go get a pet right now to explain this we have to we need an animal in the house or people are going to think that we're yeah we're pig pens that we're the dirtiest people in the world you don't just have fleas unless you have an animal who's like bringing them in because they can't don't really survive on people what i found out was that in los angeles and maybe this is true other places is that uh there's a

time of year where the fleas are just kind of out and as you're walking around in the street it's like late summer uh yet when you come home you stand outside take your shoes off because if you could look at your shoelaces and stuff occasionally you'll just see like a two or three fleas, like jump out of your shoes from just walking around in the streets. Yes. And so it's so gross. And like, they don't survive for a very long time in your house, but they do survive and they like they're hungry.

And so she was getting bit up. I have for some, whatever reason don't have the same reactions to parasitic bugs that she does, but it was clear that we had them because she kept getting bit and like a bit in this one specific place in our house and i was so i didn't know like what to we she was like going to work she's like should i even go today look at my legs i'm gonna have to tell people what this is and both of us were so deeply humiliated and mortified that we were the

dirtiest humans in the world. To this day, when I say other parasitic bugs, we also got bed bugs at one point in Santa Monica. And she was, to this day, there's certain people we're not allowed to tell that story to. I have to check in with her first to be like can i tell them we got bed bugs and some people should be like no we don't know them well enough yet because she's embarrassed that we got them yeah and that and that's one that i would i i haven't had them yet thankfully knock on wood uh but that is one that i would immediately be very embarrassed to admit to anyone even though i i have total perfect recall of the summer where it seemed like everyone on both coasts was getting bed bugs there was like a huge bed bug outbreak in new york and it was dominating everyone's lives and then it happened again in los angeles around the same time so like i know how common it is and how it is not an indictment

of the people who get the bed bugs but it's still something that like if i think i have bed bugs my brain will do that same process where it's like let's let's think of some other things that it could be first. Maybe it's a mouse. Maybe it's a mouse. I hope it's a mouse. Yeah, that was a deeply embarrassing one. And also just such a pain in the ass too. And it would have been even worse because she does get such a bad allergic reaction to mosquitoes and these bugs that suck your blood that immediately we knew. And immediately I started searching the bed and scouring it scouring it. And which makes you feel crazy because you can't, they're so tiny and they

don't even live in your bed. Like they hide in light sockets and shit. And so what I did was I eventually found a shell of one and looked it up online. I was like, okay, I know what this is. We have bed bugs, but had it just been me living there and I was just getting eaten alive and I never knew, the numbers would have just kept growing and growing. And it creeps me out to even think about it. Her grandmother in Tucson had them in the old folks home that she was staying in. And this is after we got them. We went and visited her and she would like want us to come up to her room we'd eat lunch with her down in the like cafeteria area and then she'd

be like well come on up and we're always just like i can't i just can't there's no way i'm going in that room because we know what it's like to have bed bugs and we know what it's like if just one of them gets on us and follows us all All right, so if we got time, I got another quick question for you. Wait, two from you and an intro. Look at the heavy lifting from Daniel. Sick. Right up before vacation too.

I should be doing more. I'm realizing now that I didn't do enough. Okay, go ahead and ask your quick question. I'll see if I can answer with a really good answer. This comes from the newsletter from my favorite fitness writer. Her name is Casey Johnston. She writes the newsletter. She's a beast.

Fucking what? You have a favorite fitness letter? A fitness writer? Yeah. Casey Johnston, she used to run a column. I think it's called like notes from a swole woman or something something like that thoughts of a swole woman and now she just has an independent newsletter called she's a beast talks about fitness uh like she does a lot of kind of lifting that i don't do she's really big on on

bulking up and doing like like uh power lifting really really heavy weights lifting eating like a big beautiful horse and lifting very large weights uh i'm just really drawn to the way she writes about fitness i think it's it's very accessible and she's uh a good writer who is is trapped in the body of of like a competitive power lifter okay um this came from her newsletter recently uh in his juilliard days adam driver famously could be often found standing astride the world literally holding a gallon of water in one hand and a whole chicken in the other reportedly driver did this every day not for 40 days but for four years it seemed to be the main thing people remember about him from that time how many people do you remember from your college days and why that's that's uh end quote that's how casey phrases it um that's a quote. That's how Casey phrases it.

That's a good way, a good way into the question for me of memorable people for your college that weren't like friends of yours that you didn't interact with, but just like the characters at your college, if you had any. Yeah. Wait, I have some illogical questions for Adam Driver. Like how is he even eating the whole chicken? You need to separate it. You need to pull the legs off and things like that. You can't just bite into a chicken like an apple. Yeah, it's a pretty rich, dense text just to get into this question about memorable people in college.

You know all that stuff that you just like very quickly learned about Adam Driver. Forget all that. Move past it. Do you have something to start? I do. Yeah, there was a kid. I think his name was Frankie. He was in my quad sophomore year.

And every single day he wore no shirt. He wore American flag basketball shorts uh he had a big old belly and he had a giant afro and he could be spotted every day outside just standing and looking around at people just cool as a cucumber just presenting himself to the world i would see some people would talk to him every once in a while he would do a lot of what's up nods to people. And mostly it was just like there, just like, this is me. This is how I dress. You can imagine that. Yeah.

You can imagine that in high school, I couldn't be this, but I wanted to be the whole time. And now that I'm away from high school, I could finally take my final form, what I was always meant to do and who I was always meant to be and just stand here and like present myself to the world I think my favorite piece of comedy in the history of time is winter of my sophomore year seeing Frankie in the dead of winter freezing

outside American flag basketball trunks no shirt scarf seeing Frankie in the dead of winter, freezing outside, American flag basketball trunks, no shirt, scarf. Yeah, you got to keep that neck warm. Yeah. That's so funny. I feel like that guy's at my gym right now. There's a guy at my gym named,

different name, but his name is Ray. But he's somebody who's like a real chatterbox at the gym who just wants to be noticed that's all he wants just wants to be noticed he's not like a super yoked guy or anything he just wants you to acknowledge him and so like he'll be you'll be working out on something he'll sidle up to the thing next to you and just try to make eye contact like as much as possible like as much as possible without actually saying a thing and somebody's doing like some sign just getting you to look at all so that he can break the ice.

And now, of course, I know Ray because I looked at one point and now we're friends. And I had the most confusing interaction with him two days ago where I went to the gym and he was like, hey, did you have a good Thanksgiving? And I was like, yeah, it was really good. He's like, oh, me too. I ate a lot. And I was like, Hey, did you have a good Thanksgiving? And I was like, yeah, it was really good. He's like, Oh, me too. I ate a lot. And I was like, yeah, I did too. I really did it.

Like I ate a lot of food. And then he goes, well, you got to be careful with that because you know, gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. And I was like, well, okay. Fucking Ray, you just told me you ate a bunch yeah get off your high horse i didn't even really eat that much right i'm just trying to be normal just trying to be nice to you mirroring you i'm giving you nothing extra here i'm telling you the same thing you told me yeah uh and but he was like very serious about how gluttony was one of the salem deadly sins

and i learned a lot about Ray that day. But yeah, I did have people in my college. There was one guy in the quad below us who in my sophomore year who wore a bathrobe every day. Wore it to class. Wore it in the quad. Wore it at the dining hall. Like that was going to be his thing was he was bathrobe guy. hall like that was gonna be his thing was he was bathrobe guy but he would also do this thing occasionally where if you were in his quad he would say he would like whatever he was doing

playing mario kart or whatever he'd pause it and he'd go well i gotta go jerk off and then he'd just leave and go masturbate somewhere after proudly announcing it mama Mama Mia. Yeah. And everyone else was like, don't just say it. What are you doing, man? But he would, I don't know, like the impulse wasn't clear. Like nothing about it

was clear to any of us other than every once in a while. It wasn't like the same time every day. It wasn't an alarm going off or something. He was just like, and now I will do this thing. Man. We also had these girls. ahead hold on that's there are some people who as soon as they get their their their first bit of freedom they really don't know what to do with

it it's truly it's hard to darkness man the dog catching the garbage truck successfully. It's Coyote with a Roadrunner. Be like, what is it? Now what? Okay, maybe I'll be bathrobe guy. What's an adult supposed to do? An adult's supposed to, it means we can dress however we want, right?

And we tell each other when we're doing adult things, what's the most adult thing that I, a 19-year-old, can think of? I'm going to jerk off! Excuse me! It was wild. And we do it regularly. I just, I never...

But also, there's part of you that's like, can I be that open about it? Is that what we're all doing now? No, just Ed's doing it? Okay, well, then forget it. Then forget it. Right, no, I? No, just Ed's doing it? Okay, well then forget it. Then forget it. Right. No, I'm still the guy who's also playing Mario Kart. He's just like, oh, I don't do that. I'm going to save it for marriage. What? Damn it.

What is that? I'm also wrong. Just save it for marriage. Sorry I stepped on your joke, Agenda. That's a great one. We also have these girls. Women? I don't know. No. I'm going to say girls. That feels right.

We have these girls in my college who everyone called the Barbies. I don't, to this day, don't know their real names. They were just what you would, they were platinum blonde. They wore little tiny skirts and they were just like the mean girls. They're what you'd expect mean girls to look like. But for whatever reason, in the dining hall, Johnson

Student Center, there was a cafeteria and then there was a patio area. And in the patio area, it was enclosed. There was a roof on it, but these pigeons would get in there constantly. This story has twists yeah on multiple occasions these girls got shit on by pigeons like the pigeons just hated this group of girls i saw them once shit in their food and then another time witnessed one just get shit on

on her shoulder and her head like it kind of like this long drooping one and it was i was blown away nobody else is having this problem but for whatever reason these mean girls the pigeons are like oh there they are there they are and i'll say it was somewhat satisfying to see them get shit on i thought this was uh before the the pigeon twist i i thought this was gonna be a shared experience of ours because another memorable duo from my college, they were these two platinum blonde, very attractive, identical twin sister girls who – Okay. Identical, identical, completely identical and lived together in the dorm.

And I didn't realize they were twins for a while because I just kept seeing what I thought was one of them several times a day, sometimes in different outfits and I wasn't paying enough attention. And then finally one night after a party saw the two of them together, standing next to each other and I was like, what is it? Are you, you are twice? And they're like, yes

we are. I was like, man that's a, they're like, we know. They're like fully aware of this of that they're both very attractive and there's two of them and they would wear like matching playboy bunny halloween costumes together it's like you girls just you just you you know exactly what you're presenting to the world and and and and kudos hooray for you you steer into the skin man you know once you learn what your thing is you lean in and everyone feels much more comfortable around you everyone's like oh that's their thing yeah uh but yeah this was it was surprising these i never really talked

to them much they might have been very nice people but in my mind i was like no those are the mean girls like those are those are the barbies uh never learned never bothered learning their names and we don't know their names we don't know their names they're always covered in shit and it feels good they're so mean god they're mean there were just stories like people would tell stories about like oh yeah the barbies got shit on how the cafeteria get today uh I don't know what it was. The pigeons just hated them. Man. Too much fun.

I have a question for you. Just real quick, Dan. Did you have a, in your college, did you have a shit person? Did you have a person who at some point shit themselves or got really drunk and pooped somewhere they weren't supposed to poop and they became legend and like from that point on that person was just like the shit person

we had a kid in high school who shit himself and okay uh i'm not gonna say his name here but i'll i'll remember it until the day i fucking die that he shit himself in march in the middle of a school day oh yeah yeah it's like that's that's such, it's like watching somebody get hit by a car. It's just like a thing that sticks with you when you find out somebody shit themselves. Yes. There was a girl in our college who did it twice. Did it both at parties.

She got very, very drunk and then shit herself. And from that point on, she was a pariah. At one point, I had a friend who, she was older pariah like there at one point i had a friend who she was older than us both these events had happened before we got there but legend had carried to the next generation and at one point a friend of mine started kind of like casually seeing her and everyone was like no you can't that shit girl yeah and looking back like what if that poor girl man that was just it for her. Yeah, forever. The kid who shit himself in high school at one point

a year or two later got those shoes that have, like, a sneaky, like, roller skate in them so you can, like, suddenly start wheeling. Didn't matter. You're not skate shoes kid. You're the kid who shit himself. What are you talking about? What are you doing?

Save your money. You can you're the kid who shit himself. What are you talking about? What are you doing? Save your money. You can't reinvent yourself at this point. Yeah. It would cure cancer. And you'll be the guy who shit himself and cured cancer. That's okay. At the time you don't care. Cause like nobody else matters in your mind.

It's just you. So you're like, yeah, that's shit girl. Like that's, she's, you can't, no,

don't, don't talk to her. And then looking back on it, you're like yeah that's shit girl like that's she's you can't no don't don't talk to her uh and then looking back on it you're like oh man what a rough existence it must have been yeah and i i don't know even when you leave college i wonder if those stories follow you well shit girl if you're uh shit girl barbies or shit kid if any of you are listening please write into the show yeah tell us where you are. I want to make sure you're okay. Oh, wait, Soren. Not the Barbies, fuck them. Yeah.

They're so mean. I got another question for you, Soren. I'm so sorry, but I feel like I'm a worse friend than Ray. I didn't ask you, how was your Thanksgiving? I didn't ask you either. This is on both of us. Okay. I had a ask you. How was your Thanksgiving? I didn't ask you either. This is on both of us. Okay. I had a great Thanksgiving.

It was really nice. Colleen's parents came into town. We made them food. The kids were great. Everybody had a great time. And the food was delicious. It was just great. What about you?

It was great. I went to my brother and sister-in-law's house. A bunch of kids were there. My aunt was there. Cousin was there. Ate good food. Hung out. No complaints. A bunch of kids were there. My aunt was there. Cousin was there. Ate good food. Hung out. No complaints.

Great. Love to hear it. Love to hear a Thanksgiving that goes off successfully. Yeah. All right. Well, then that's our show. All right. Cool.

Thank you for listening to Quick Question. This is Quick Question. And you already know that. This is, if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can follow Daniel at DOB underscore Inc. You can follow me, Soren, at Soren underscore LTD. You can follow Quick Question at QQ underscore Soren and Dan. We also have an email address, which is QQ with Soren and Daniel at gmail.com. We have a sound engineer, an editor, a producer named Gabe Harder.

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but also me Rex dot band camp.com. Okay. Bye. I've got a quick, quick question for you. All right. I want to hear your thoughts on what's on your mind. Bye. What's it up to? Oh forget it Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers

If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here