Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Which Movie Prop Would You Steal? | Quick Question Ep. 321
Episode Date: February 25, 2026Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien debate the logistics and ethics of stealing iconic movie memorabilia for personal use, weighing the merits of the Holy Grail and the Dirk Diggler neon sign against the c...riminal implications of kidnapping Gonzo from The Muppet Christmas Carol. Later, the discussion shifts to fictional movie meals they wish they could eat, including the abandoned macaroni and cheese from Home Alone, the imaginary food in Hook, and the Crunch Berry Burgers from House Arrest.Thanks to Mint Mobile for sponsoring this episode. Make the switch! MINTMOBILE.com/QQThanks to Shopify for sponsoring this episode. Sign up for a $1/month trial at shopify.com/qqFollow the guys on Bluesky!https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialBonus episodes 2x/month at patreon.com/quickquestion OR Apple Podcasts
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to quick, quick question for you all right.
I want to hear your thoughts.
I don't know what's on your mind.
I've got a quick, quick question for you all right.
The answer's not important.
I'm just glad that we can talk tonight.
So what's your favorite?
How did you get?
If there's an answer, they're going to find it.
I think you'll have a great time here.
Welcome back to quick question, the podcast.
If you're just joining us, you joined at the right time because it's the start of the episode.
Kudos to you.
I'm trying to think of what circumstances somebody would have come in in the middle.
Yeah.
How that would have ever happened?
They're like, just like this happened to be what was on HBO at the moment.
They were like, oh, I'll watch the rest of this.
There's going to come a time when you can already sort of see it.
when Netflix is snatching up a bunch of podcasts
and Hulu is snatching up podcast and YouTube is airing podcasts.
Someone in the future is going to bundle a bunch of things.
We will have sold the rights of our show for a fucking song
to Barron Trump.
And someone's going to bundle a lot of stuff.
And 20 years down the line,
someone will just turn on like whatever is their version of a cable channel,
just something that is like,
constantly airing content
and this will just show up
we'll just be part of like
an endless stream of other shit
that is on in the background of TV
I mean the idea that we would ever
one day be syndicated is like
I know just like the money that I would be
swimming in
is really appealing to me
that would be I'd be fine with that
I'd be fine with that if you turn on the TV
do you remember God you're reminding me that
when Netflix first started just streaming
and not doing their discs,
there was a little dice on the screen.
That was Netflix, right?
And you could just roll the dice
and see what you were going to get.
Oh, yeah, and they were just going to give you something.
Yeah, you could choose one of the 27 things
that they had or they would choose for you.
And you could just like, you'd roll the dice
and you might get episode 37 of MD Nest.
Yeah.
That's what a quaint time.
And now they have an algorithm that perfectly,
tailored to my tastes
feeds me dog shit.
So it's great. No matter who you
are, they know exactly what kind of
specific keyword-driven
slop you will
tolerate having on in the background.
That's how I'd like to roll the dice now.
I would like to, on all of my apps,
all my, like Spotify,
anything where I'm consuming, I want
the dice roll to be like, hey,
everything you learned about me, forget it for a second
because I'm mad at everything you're giving me.
Yeah. Like, let's just try something
brand new. I get
mad at my headphones in the gym.
I've surely mentioned
this before as a feature that I wanted
to add it to things, but like some kind
of
punishment reward system
for the recommendation
algorithms because I'm not
wholly against
Spotify finding music for me
or Netflix trying to find something for me
if they did it well, but they
never do. Every once in a while, Spotify,
will nail it. And I, and I wish there was something more I could do than just adding it to
like songs or giving it to, giving it a thumbs up. And I wish the punishments were felt more
sternly when they, when they send me something that I really don't want. Right. How do I hurt the
algorithm? I pay for Spotify. I should be able to reduce it a little bit monthly if they
service me poorly.
If they just like a couple of
strikes in a row and are just like, okay, well then
you get $2 less from me
this month. And I will go back to the normal amount
if you do your job well.
This is a system that
I do not want
my bosses to hear and to apply to
my job performance.
Which a contract is a contract, sirs.
Yeah, I
get so angry at my own music.
And I'm like angry because I will listen to,
I can't curate
playlist my whole life
I have to rely on
Spotify to do it some of the time
so I'm like I'd use that little DJ function
which if you've ever used
insane
Have you ever used it Dan
I don't know I don't know what any of the buttons do
Oh God there's a there's a DJ button
And this guy comes on and he's like
Hey it's your DJ
Today I got some really pump up music for you
You're gonna love this
There's not really a little guy
You're pulling my life
No there's a little guy
He says this music's right up your alley
I got some stuff picked out from you from
2003 and then he plays it.
But the problem is that it is AI, I think,
because hearing him pronounce the names of bands,
sometimes he just,
a lot of times he gets it just right.
He'd be like,
that was Animal Collective,
holding it down,
coming up next.
But occasionally he'd be like,
that was Florence,
I own the machine.
Oh, boy.
You're like, whoa.
What happened there in the record booth?
Did we get it wrong?
and it's pretty good.
I mean, they do a pretty good job.
If you only curated your music up until you use the DJ, the DJ would be great.
But the problem is that if you listen to the DJ for more than like four days in a row,
whatever he's served you up counts his music you've listened to.
So now that's your favorite fucking music.
So it's the self-fulfilling prophecy that whatever it gives you,
you're listening to that over and over and over again.
Occasionally it'll be like, I'm going to try something new.
those are
those are rarely hits
but most of the time
it's like
imagine all of your favorite bands
and the worst song
from every one of your favorite bands
in one convenient mix
that's what this is
we gotta fix it folks
we gotta spend
push more money
to the tech companies
yeah they need more money
they need more money
tech needs money
to refine the algorithms
to make our lives easier
well I don't know
that's what we're aiming
for anymore.
I feel like we gave up on that
all the time ago.
Tech did anyway.
Tech was like,
why are we fucking helping
these broobs?
Let's just make some money
off of them.
Why are we making,
yeah,
why are we making things easier?
Couldn't we just,
is there a way
that we can make money
without paying anyone?
And then just shut the fuck up.
Just be happy.
Why are we trying to help
these people complain all the time?
Why are we trying to help them?
What if we're trying to help them?
made something that nobody wants
and insists that everybody has to use
it from this point forward
and we'll make it part of every call center
and everything that they ever have to interact with.
That's my AI
pitch.
Okay.
Daniel, we can start the show.
Okay.
Great.
This is quick question.
Just joining us.
It was Soren and Daniel.
I'm Soren.
What a half of that podcast?
A Writer for American Dad.
Daniel is a writer for last week tonight.
And because we're in the entertainment industry,
I think this question is particularly apt in.
Quick question.
Shoot.
If you could steal any piece of movie memorabilia,
what would you want the most?
Can I clarify that this is not like I'm not stealing a functioning time machine.
I'm stealing a DeLorean.
If you get the Bill and Ted's phone booth,
it does not go back in time.
You cannot go pay.
up Napoleon.
Does it make calls?
Raging waters.
It may be.
Let's say it makes calls.
Okay.
But yeah, this is just like a piece of memorabilia that you think would be nice.
Now, a key component of this, I think, is the word steal.
I've asked you what you would steal because, let's say you had the luxury of all these
were in one place and you could take it without anybody knowing.
But it has to be something that this guarantees that it's something you want for you.
Because you can't really show that off a ton
because you have something you're not supposed to have.
So it's something that you would have for just yourself.
For anyone who's leaping to like,
oh, a James Bond,
Aston Martin or a really nice guitar
from any movie that featured a band that had nice guitars,
I can't drive the Aston Martin around
because that's going to be too much heat
and I can't play the instrument out and show it off for people.
Right.
Everyone's like, oh, fucking DeLorean, Acto I.
Like, these are the things I want.
Like, no, everyone would know you had it then.
You have to give it back.
So what's something that you would like secret, like you'd secret it away?
And then maybe when you'd had a couple drinks at a dinner party, you like, you want to see something fucked up?
Oh, man.
You're still thinking, you are still thinking it would be something that I will tell people.
I would, I don't think I'd be able to help myself.
I, humiliatingly, I just Googled softest bed in a movie.
Like, I don't even think, and like Google, Google is not helping me at all.
I don't think that.
But also, just because like in the script, they're like, hey, this bed's really soft.
It does not mean that that is soft.
No.
Well, all right.
I'm going to go first because I've got some.
I've got actually quite a few.
But I'm going to start with my favorite one.
This is one that I thought about for a long time.
And how long will become evident when you hear it.
I want Gonzo.
Gonso, the Muppet?
Gonzo the Muppet.
That is a, I suppose it's technically a piece of movie memorabilia.
Man, I want a whole actor.
I know, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want,
I want Gonsa the Muppet, maybe from a Christmas story.
Like him and his little Victorian outfit, I think I would be so pumped to quietly own.
If, if I did what I'm thinking about, yeah, whether it's, I steal what looks like a really soft pillow, or a,
cool sword from a movie that's like a fun conversation piece.
I think people would, like, the prop houses would be like,
damn, our sword is missing.
That's a bummer.
I might get fired because the sword is missing.
I think people, real people, would be really upset if a gonzo was missing.
I think they would too.
I think it would make the news.
I think.
it would be a scandal on par
with that missing Guthrie
that no one can seem to keep any tabs on.
I think people would be like,
where is this gonzo?
And like, we didn't receive a note or anything.
And we just like, we'll pay anything.
We just need to know where it is and why this happened.
Right.
Look, we all get stubborn about something.
For Daniel, it's anytime anybody recommends a movie
more than twice to him,
you don't want to ever watch it.
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It would have to be the heist of a century.
I'm sure they keep Gonzo pretty locked up.
Yeah.
But I still think I could.
Like, if I had the opportunity and I think that I could get away with it,
having that Gonzo, I would, you know, I'm like thinking like what I would even do with it.
But like, I'd play with it.
I'd be like, I'd put my hand up there and I'd,
I'd talk to it.
And it would talk to me.
Do you have a Gonzo?
No.
No, you could just go get a Gonzo?
No, like a Gonzo voice.
Oh, no, you know, I got a Grover, which is not too bad, not too far.
I just feel like I've got a launch pad.
If I start with Grover, I can get to Gonzo.
They're not so far apart.
There's a monster at the end of this book.
It's, I'm imagining this scene in a movie.
where it's a montage of people across political and class lines huddled together watching the news
and finding out that that Grover is gone missing.
No, Gonzo.
Gonzo has gone missing.
And the news is specifically like, yeah, the Christmas Carol won.
And then the families at home were like, the Christmas Carol?
Oh, my God.
That's so, that's so, like I'm crying, thinking about it.
And then smash cut to you with...
Doing a girl overvoice.
With gonzo.
And it's going like, near and far.
Near, near.
Just like the last person in the world who deserves a conzo.
We be having so much fun.
And occasionally I'd be like, I'm not dealing it.
I'm going to try some other ones.
And I'd be like, waka, waka, waka.
Anything else?
This is creamy.
Yeah.
And just seeing what looks good coming out.
his mouth. Someone from the Henson estate comes on TV and it's like, well, it's day 45 of missing
Gonzo. We have abandoned hope that we're going to get it back. No one has made contact. We are just
praying that wherever Gonzo is, he's in good hands and he's bringing joy and then smash
to you in the mirror and you're like, you're talking to me, are you talking to me? And no one else
here? You're talking to me? I think I have so much fun with it. My kids.
I would let them play with it.
Also, I'm pretty confident that when it did make the news,
they start talking about it like it was a kidnap person.
They'd be like, just bring him home.
People crying on the steps of a courthouse is what I perceive
with like a makeshift podium being like,
we just want to make sure he's safe.
Yeah.
And that you bring him home.
We have,
Muppets are a very special kind of,
of memorabilia.
They require a very specific
type of maintenance.
We have the spare
parts that we think you're going to need.
We're going to leave them on the steps at the
courthouse. We're all going to close our eyes and turn our backs.
Feel free to take them. We just want to make sure
that you are taking care of Gonzo.
Please.
Well, I'm fiercely trying to
Google a child's coffin that I could just keep it in.
Oh, man.
I don't I don't know why it's so dark to take Christmas gone stuff.
I don't think I've ever had as much of a problem looking at you.
Could you, could you, I mean, if they were really into it and like they really wanted it back,
they would they would put the rat up there at the podium being like,
Yeah.
Just return my friend.
Yeah.
God, you remember the fucking.
Jim Henson funeral
where Kermit sang
This is gonna be
10 times sadder than that
Yeah I mean and it would really
Fuck people up
And then and then I think no one would be excited either
That I should when I show it to them
They'd be like well I'm implicated now
Yeah I heard all about this
This was like this was bigger than John Bonnet Ramsey
You're not supposed to have this
There'd be nothing in your will about like giving it back
That thing would just be trashed
We'd never find it
Oh yeah
would never be closed for the rest of the world.
Well, I mean, I'm keeping it underground.
That's why I'm buying the coffin.
I don't want anyone to know that I have this thing.
Yeah.
But occasionally I dig it up and I just, I'd exhume it and play with it and bury it.
God.
That is such a bummer.
I walk gonzow.
I know.
I don't, I wish I had a better answer because yours is so rich.
and I'm still just thinking truly about
soft-looking things in movies
that I could just like just sit in for a second.
They take a load off.
While you're thinking about it.
Okay.
There was a antique road show once.
A woman came on with the original,
I don't know if it was him.
I don't know if it was Rudolph,
but it was like some of the other characters,
the ancillary characters from Rudolph,
the Red Nosed Reindeer,
movie that she had the plasticine or like felt little dolls of it that they used and that they
would position and these things were in such rough shape and it was like and at the time I was like
how can an individual person own something as iconic as this because she fucked it up she like
she didn't take care of this stuff it was all a mess like the noses were falling off and the felt
was like it looked like it was the skin was peeling and stuff and she had not she had not done her due
diligence owning a piece of Americana.
And I thought that was pretty fucked up.
And then I thought, what if I did it?
I'm more into that.
What do I want?
And it would immediately in my brain.
I knew exactly what I wanted.
And I'll give you one more, Daniel.
Okay, please do.
That I, speaking of like, seeing it in your brain first,
I know that they had to make this for the movie.
It's in the movie for maybe two seconds, tops.
But I know it was before it had to be a practical effect, and I know they had to make it.
I want the Dirk Diggler neon sign.
Okay.
Why?
Because people know exactly what it is the minute they see it.
I think it's a very funny thing to have.
I know exactly where I put it.
And even turning it on.
If it turns on the same way where it goes purple first, that purple outline first, and then Dirk Diggler.
I think it's really good for a comedy reveal if you're out at a bar and you're telling someone
that you stole a famous movie prop and they and they ask a lot of questions and it comes around
to like it's from it's from boogie nights and I think you recognize it.
I think if you've seen the movie.
And then you open your closet and it's the sign and everyone's like, oh.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I guess that would be even harder to steal that I was thinking of a...
But this is cool, too.
This is impressive, too.
I have this and the gun that William H. Macy shot himself with.
What do you think?
The Dirk Diggler, the same with like neon signs Forever.
Like Brazil has like at the very beginning of that movie, there's a beautiful neon sign that they had to commission, I'm sure.
You can make signs.
Yes, but I could.
of steel signs.
And if it's the one,
I mean, Jason, obviously,
we've talked philosophically about this with Jason Arsion before.
I'm like,
things don't mean more just because they were used in something great
or used by someone that you consider great.
But I still believe it.
Yeah. I'm never going to get away from that.
I,
knowing that I had the Brazil neon sign from Brazil
or the Dirk Diggler from Bogey Knights,
I think would be,
I think that would be awesome.
I might want to steal the Holy Grail from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Oh, man.
It is very cool looking.
It's cool looking.
I think I've seen that movie 10,000 times.
I'd be able to pull that chalice out of a lineup and a bunch of other people would,
but not everybody.
You know, I could have it out still,
and someone wouldn't say that's stolen.
I think they would just think,
like, that's an interesting-looking mug of a carpenter.
Would you use it around the office to drink your tea out?
Just see who will notice?
Giant thing.
Yeah.
And also, that seems like it's going to take some real care,
because you're going to have to scrub that down with linseed oil,
I think, constantly,
to keep it and show.
Jake. Yeah.
Lindsay, is that the one you're allowed to still eat out and drink out of?
I can't remember.
But it's fully wood, right?
I have absolutely no idea.
I think so.
I'm just Googling around other, like, big movie props right now.
I have one for you, Dan, that maybe you, it is like comfort related.
That might be nice.
Wilson, the volleyball is a good one.
Oh, yeah.
Wilson, the volleyball is good.
And it also, there's something funny to me.
When I was very, very young, we went to a, uh,
a AAA baseball game, the Trenton Thunder, which they were called at the time.
I don't know if they're, they might be the Blue Clause now, but they were the Trenton Thunder.
And I went for a foul ball and was crushed by an adult man who sat on me to retrieve the ball
and like, smashed my face onto like the corner of a concrete steps at a baseball stadium.
And then he gets up, he's like, ha, ball.
And he goes away.
and he is the hero in his story
where he got a baseball.
And I'm sad and in pain
for the rest of the game.
End of the game,
the players are just like
tossing out baseballs.
And my dad catches one
and tells one of the players
please sign this for my son.
He took a bad fall earlier.
His name's Daniel.
And some player who
maybe went on to the big leagues
or maybe just stayed here forever.
He was like a substitute teacher
who's also a baseball player
on the weekends. He signs best wishes
to Daniel and he signs it
and it was this cool
baseball that I had in a
special place in the house until
we ran out of baseballs and I needed a baseball
to play baseball with my friends and then
then we used it. I like the idea
of having Wilson the volleyball from
Castaway in a place of prominence
and then someone says let's go to the beach
and it was like
oh this is a time and money saver if I just
like have a volleyball and we're playing
with the actual Wilson.
That would be fun for me.
Recently I was searching for a Rocky's City Connect hat online.
I wanted a fitted hat,
but I wanted the one that looked kind of like the license plate.
You know the Rockies jersey.
It's green and white.
And I was like, oh, that's so cool.
I need that.
Problem is, that's the City Connect jersey from 2022.
And it's unavailable pretty much anywhere.
It was next to impossible to find this hat.
I had to find,
I had to go through so many different small businesses to find it.
because MLB, no dice, my friend.
My day was saved.
It was incredible.
I got the hat, by the way.
It looks incredible.
It's a good size.
Oh, looks good.
If you saw me out in the street, you'd be like, nice hat.
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Wilson, the volleyball is also fun because I think I could get away with not hiding that.
Even the grail I might have to hide.
Grover, you definitely need to hide because you'll be shot on site if someone, like,
truly don't even tell me if you ever pull this off.
You can't trust me with that information.
It's good to know.
It's good to know.
Wilson, if you saw us playing volleyball on the beach with Wilson, you would think, oh, you bought a replica or you made your own Wilson. That's kind of funny. I think I could still have it out and people wouldn't know it was the actual Wilson.
I guess it depends on what stage of Wilson because the Wilson with like the, there was all deflated with the grass for hair.
Yeah, not that one.
I don't think you could get away with that. I think if that's not in a box, a plasticine box, everyone's like.
What did you do? What did you do? What have you done, Daniel?
You said you had another one for me?
I've one more. I've one that maybe you might like.
I don't actually know how important this or seminal this movie is for you.
I would assume. No, I guess I just, we never talked about it.
I know what you're going to say. It's the good shepherd. It's the glasses Matt Damon wears and the good shepherd. Yeah, I want them. I do want them, Zorn.
Yeah. Okay, great. Then let's get you that. The violin that the guy plays at the end of that movie.
Absolutely.
Let's keep naming stuff from Good Shepherd
The earpiece
That his deaf girlfriend
Has the deaf girlfriend has the earpiece
The aid
Isn't that, are we thinking about the same movie?
That's like the beginning of
About the FBI
Yeah, okay
Or is the CIA
Yeah, well
And that I'm right on all of these
Fuck, I didn't realize
I had all those polls
That's not a movie I should have seen yet
That just came out
As far as I'm concerned
The thing that you might like and it serves a dual purpose for you, because you could actually use it in your house and no one would know until you said something is the rug from the Big Lobowski.
Oh, I don't know if that's for me.
Yeah.
You're not a guy.
You're not a Cullen Brothers guy.
I might lean more towards the robe that he wears because that robe is so lives in and seems pretty comfortable.
I'm just, you're just catching me on a day, man.
I just want something soft and comfortable.
I forgot.
I forgot your circumstances today.
A big cup that I could drink a lot of water out of.
Nice.
And a pillow from a movie.
What's a good pillow?
What is?
And pretty woman, she seemed pretty comfortable in that bed.
If I could just have a couple hours in that bed, I'd be okay.
She wears a pretty good robe in that one, too.
Yeah.
That one looks like a comfy robe.
You want the sunglasses from the Big Lobowski?
I would love the sunglasses.
Block as much light out of my face as humanly possible.
I would like the coffee can filled with the ashes of their friend, Donnie,
but instead of the ashes, I'm going to put coffee in it.
And then my day will be fine.
There's a lot of stuff that, um,
looks really cool
that I would like.
I would like the
John Hammond
in Jurassic Park
has a mosquito
frozen in amber
at like the top
of his cane
that's pretty chill.
Even the claw,
the velociraptor
claw is really cool.
I would scare children
with the claw.
Those would be very
cool to own
but yeah
I don't think
also tougher to convince people
I think the gonzo
looks so authentic
and everything
the minute anyone sees it
they're going to be like
oh fuck
fuck oh, fuck, oh, fuck.
I am having such a hard time with this.
I'm, I'm, it's really hurting me.
It's, I think it's because it's also more believable even than taking a Kermit.
I think, and there's so much Kermit out there.
There's like a period piece, Gonzo is, and, and, I think if it was any other, it, it hurts, you, you know, you've maximized pain by picking Christmas Carol with his little outfit.
Yeah. Oh, I'd love to have him. Maybe I'd reenact it. I'd throw him in the snow.
Is he?
He's not the Cratchett stand-in in Mother Christmas Carol. He's just like a guy.
He's a narrator. He's a narrator. Okay. They live within the town. He and the rat live within the town.
Rizzo. You can't keep saying the rat. He's Rizzo.
The rat. You don't have enough respect for the brand to stand.
Neil Gonzo.
No, the rat that hangs out with him.
So when they live in the town until the ghosts of past, present and future come along,
also when Bob Cratchett comes as well, they are there for all of that.
But they are, they can't be seen either.
They're living by ghost rules as well.
So they get to go back in time and see stuff.
God, I think that's true.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's true.
And then what's the frog's name?
Shut up.
Yeah, we watched it recently.
We watched it during Christmas and my children saw it.
And I think that they were, it's just like, it seems a little dated to them.
They were, they would kind of sit through it.
But Colleen and I were wrapped.
And my children were like, whatever, it's fine.
It's such elf.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not like, it's not like a lot of jokes per frame, a lot of like quick moving.
entertainment for the attention span of a child today or even back then I don't know
it is it's like a pretty measured Dickensian tale it is and it's they maintain a lot of
the darkness of it I mean they don't shy away when they do the ghost of Christmas future
that's a horrifying looking thing and even the Ghost of Christmas present he sings like a
really beautiful song in the middle of it but throughout that whole process in which he's
with the Ghost of Christmas Present the Ghost of Christmas Present is slowly
aging and getting
older. Doing that to a puppet is
pretty incredible and by the end he's like
he can barely move and you're like
oh wow time is fleeting
we're all fucked
and I can't just to get some
even more clarity on this I can't steal
the macaroni and cheese
from the second it gets made in home
alone he never gets to eat it
so can I can't I have to steal
a prop now I can't just like go
and steal yummy macaroni
Groney and cheese.
Okay.
I'm going to, you know what, we've got time for this.
I want to, I want to ask you a separate question that maybe we're in your specific
alley today, which is what piece of food, knowing that it would taste exactly like it
was in the movie, what piece of food would you want from a movie?
And I think that that's like a, every kid, that, that macaron cheese is fucking ball.
That mac and cheese looks so good.
And so much of the movie, I feel like, is building towards this.
and like he's, he's, all of his, his schemes are done.
He's just killing time.
It's like, I think I've got, I set up all my paint cans and all my other murder devices.
I've got some time.
Time to get a little sustenance.
I can make whatever I want and I make this mac and cheese and it looks so good.
And I know for a fact that I can buy mac and cheese and I can make mac and cheese exactly the way I want it to the T.
and I could make it better than whatever microwave mac and cheese he has doesn't override the part of my brain that looks at that mac of cheese and is like, yeah, let me get some of that.
And he doesn't even get to eat it.
He has to go and kill the robbers.
Doesn't even take the time to shovel a few bites in his mouth for the sustenance before he runs away.
He's just like, this is a prop.
Goodbye.
You're right.
It is macaroni and cheese from the microwave, which is far inferior.
but obviously in the movie it does not look that way.
And as a kid too,
you were just like watching him walk away from that
was torture. It's like the worst part of the movie.
And I've seen it so many times,
but I would say even though I know everything
that happens in that movie, there were plenty of times watching
where I was like, maybe this time he'll get a bite.
Maybe this time.
Maybe I missed it.
Maybe I'm misremembering.
He runs back into frame and gets a little scoop.
Let's see the movie.
You know what, AI?
Maybe the only thing.
it would be useful for.
Let me see,
let me see McColley Culk
can get to eat that fucking
macaroni and cheese.
Okay, I have one for you, Daniel.
Okay.
I want to eat the imaginary food in Hook.
Did we do this already?
I knew that.
How did I know that was your answer?
Maybe we did it.
Maybe we've talked about this
on the cracked podcast at some point.
I think it,
I got it, yeah,
that's one that's always stuck with me
is like watching them throw around
that fucking frosting.
I was like,
give me a taste
I'd love to get some of that
whatever that is
that looks delicious
I would try that
or the gray stuff
from Beauty and the Beast
we don't see it
but we know that it's good
and it's gray
what the fuck is this
what are we talking about
there is
did you ever see a movie
that I've seen
10,000 times
called house arrest
what's in it
thank you so much
for asking
Jennifer Love Hewitt early role
you've got Kevin Pollack
you've got
Jamie Lee Curtis
I think you've got
Shooter McGavin himself
Christopher McDonnell
you've got
Wallace Sean
you've got
this kid who plays Grover
who showed up
a couple other things
and then I think
completely disappeared from my life
the plot of the movie
and it's a great
lovely 90s or early 2000s
kind of movie
where this
this kid Grover
his parents are
are going to get divorced
and he really doesn't want that to happen
and he just thinks if I can
if I could just like
keep them trapped in a room
if I ground them in a room
then they will
come to some kind of resolution
they will they will reconcile
and they won't get divorced
that's his plan
and then a couple other kids from his school find out about
his plan so like we want you to do the same
thing to our parents
and now the basement has has like
four sets of parents living in the basement
while all of the kids live in the main house
keeping them surveilled and keeping them fed
and they're like you all have to just like work out your shit
and then when you're back together
then we'll let you out and we'll
and then you won't be mad at us and you won't get a divorce
it's a very silly very fun
premise for a movie and the kids
cook food for them
and they do this whole like cooking scene
and because they're children,
the things they make are like
hamburger patties of pure sweets.
I think they call them Crunchberry burgers
where they're just putting like Upsolberry cereal
and marshmallows and chocolate
and mixing it together and then
frying it in patty shape.
And they're like, all right, parents,
this is what a kid would make for a meal for you.
Enjoy your crunchberry burgers.
And Wallace Sean likes them.
He thinks they're delicious.
I don't need him.
I don't need even his endorsement.
I look at that.
It was like, that looks fucking, that's, that's, that's like a rice Krispies treat that isn't afraid of being judged.
It's, they just really went all out and put all the shit in it.
And they just, they made just a big sugar patty.
And it looks fucking awesome.
I don't, I mean, I don't remember this movie at all.
I'm reading the synopsis.
I remember it a little bit.
I have no, I'm sure I probably saw as a kid, but I have zero recollection of it at all.
But man, that does sound good.
Just the description of it.
I'm in.
I'm in.
I'll try any bullshit, weird, ass, serial thing in the world.
Give it to me.
I got to make sure this movie exists.
I just looked it up.
It's real, right?
It's real.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was surprised to find out a spoiler that not all.
the families do get back together at the end.
The Ned and Janet, who are the mom and dad, the main mom and dad, they do.
But there are other groups that just like, they just like, nah, it didn't work.
It didn't take.
Thanks for kidnapping us for a little while.
That's like an important part of that movie that made it when I was a kid that made it seem like realistic.
I was just like, because the, again, Kevin Pollock and his wife, Jamie Lee Curtis, get back together.
But Shooter McGavin, who was like a serial divorcer, I think he.
just continues to have his bad relationship.
And it's a lesson that, like, that reaches the boy who wanted his parents to not get divorced.
But it's still like, yeah, it's not all, you can have a happy ending that is not necessarily your parents get together forever.
Like, like the fact that some parents stay together is good and the fact that some parents don't stay together is also good in a different way.
And the kids have to learn that lesson as well.
and as a 12 year old or whatever
I'm just like shit yeah that's true
that is life
happy ending looks different from person to person
I understand that
yeah let me get those crunchberry burgers
did you Daniel did you ever see the movie the menu
this feels almost like a cheat
I did not see the menu that's that's an extremely
oh oh I did see the menu I was thinking of the Stanley
Tucci Tony Shalube restaurant movie that's big night
that's a very Daniel coded movie that I've
seen. But the menu I saw, yeah, for sure.
The big night I even think about. That one also has some, like anything from the big
night would have been great. Yeah. I think that, yeah, so watching the menu, I think
the cheeseburger in the menu. Yeah. That she insists on him making. Like that one, you watch
the whole prep for it and everything like that. That looked absolutely delicious. Yeah.
I think I would have liked to have eaten that as well. But she didn't love it, right? She thought
it was just okay. She said, no, it was her excuse to leave. She takes a bite and then she
she says it's a cheeseburger or whatever
and then she's like I'd like to just take the rest to go
and he and he has to honor that because
that's chef rules
I guess? Chef rules yeah yeah
chef rules are they're allowed to eat he's not allowed to go
to bed until he fulfills all the requests
of his
patrons
yes and she would like to take it to go
yeah
uh that was a fuck that was a
not a great movie
no that movie's awesome I love that fucking movie
you're wrong you're crazy
you're wrong
Um, they,
Dan,
what?
The chef's
big zenith,
like the,
the,
the,
the highest point of the movie
for him is that he's going to turn
everyone into smores.
No, he's just going to kill everybody.
No, he turns them into smores.
No, he doesn't. He kills them all.
Yeah, how does he kill them?
They all die. They burn the restaurant down.
As,
but the
People are fucking covered in marshmallow and chocolate.
Do you not remember this?
He turns all of them.
True.
He turns all of it.
They are to the dessert and they are toasted marshmallows.
They burn, everybody burns down, but they are all covered in the ingredients of s'mores.
Guests are dressed in white cloaks and hats resembling marshmallows while chocolate,
gram cracker crumbs are scattered on them.
before the restaurant is set on fire, killing everyone.
Uh, I guess.
I suppose in a way.
That's one interpretation.
Yeah.
That they become s'mores.
Yeah.
But it's like symbolism.
Okay.
Great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That doesn't make it a bad movie.
It's a good movie.
All right.
And I,
and you can trust me.
Because I kind of remember.
Remember it.
It's not terrible.
It's fine.
I did remember watching it and being like throughout,
as you're kind of trying to figure out what's going on,
it was very fun.
And I was,
I was hooked.
Yeah.
I'll tell you something I don't fucking want is the Rattitooie from Rattitooie.
Now that one I haven't seen.
Does anyone be s'mores in that one?
Nobody is, nobody be s'mores.
Okay.
What they do, there is a,
there's an impossible to please food critic
who cannot possibly find out that a chef has a rat in his hat
helping him steering him to make food
but they this food critic comes to the restaurant
and they serve him a ratatouille which is a very basic meal
it is a bunch of finely sliced zucchini
sure maybe some other some some some
squawishes and
he eats it
And the point is that the food, there is no food that's truly really delicious.
There's food that only guides you back through your own history.
So he takes a bite and he's reminded of being a little boy on some provincial fucking mountainside where his mom would make this.
And the point is like, that's what food is.
Food brings people together.
Food is like memories.
Food is this.
You know what's interesting?
I disagree.
No, it's not.
Yeah.
That's why I don't want.
That's why I don't want this fucking Rattitooie
Because I look at it, I'm like, oh, well, maybe Rattahooie is good.
Let's see what Rattitooie is.
Oh, this is just squash.
It's just real squash.
I don't want this shit.
That's a very cute thesis for a movie that food is not good.
It's only good if it's specific to you.
I love my mom and I love my mom's cooking.
There are chefs who make it better than she does.
And, yeah, in a couple areas.
I'm always amazed.
Lots of burger places make better burgers, for example.
And that's okay.
I would rather a burger from stout or umami, which I think is closing,
better than my true mommy.
Yeah.
We'll be right back.
Your umami.
True.
I agree with you.
People are always like, it's just like mom used to make.
Like, that's the highest compliment you can give to somebody.
Or like, there's nothing like that a home-cooked meal.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's, I've never understood that say.
That makes no sense to me.
Because, yes, there is.
There's something way better than that at a restaurant that's been tried so many different times before they even put it on the menu.
They have locked that shit in.
So it is the perfect balance of fat, salt and sugar.
and it's incredible and it's designed just for your palate.
And then world-class chefs made it just for you.
Yeah.
I don't want to go so far as to say like the undeniable,
objective global success of McDonald's
disproves the premise of Ratatouille.
I think the fact that like literally billions of people go to McDonald's,
and they get exactly what they want
and it's and it's and it's perfect
every single time
means that food can be good
unless that's
stupid movie
unless that's
that's a nostalgia
for like their own shell
I mean like a grilled cheese
think about like a what a grilled cheese
on you can't you don't even know what I'm talking about
you have no fucking clue because you can't eat dairy
I eat dairy now
okay we've round it
we've rounded a corner
it's a new season of our show
things were getting stale
so they had you
get shaken up all the time
all right
white bread
both sides
and buttered
and then two
slices of craft
singles
inside of it
right
you are repulsive
I don't know
if this is a thing
I actually enjoy
it might not be
but it's a thing
that when I eat it
I'm like
yes
I wanted this
yeah
I wanted this
and I don't know, it might just be that it is a memory.
That's true.
Sometimes I don't want the best grilled cheese in the world.
Sometimes I want a soup commercial that I saw when I was a kid,
where the soup is so good it melts the snowman into a boy.
That's what I actually am chasing when I'm making tomato soup.
Am I crazy?
No, but you've clicked into something that I think it, like the food and commercials
has never possibly been as good as it is in real life.
Like, the food and commercials looks,
commercials in general, we did this for movies, but yeah.
The food and commercials, like, a Vianetta, no, what is that,
what is that, um, ice cream?
A V for Vendetta.
Yes, okay.
There's an ice cream called Vianetta,
which I assumed was for billionaires,
but it's like a folded ice cream dessert that you sliced like a loaf of bread.
Yeah.
But in the commercial, it looked absolutely unbelievable.
And I get, you know, obviously, that's the fucking point of commercials.
But, yeah, you know what food looks great in commercials?
You know what?
I'd love a big fat spoonful of.
Fancy Feast cat food, bro.
Serve it up on one of those little glass platter things.
That looks good.
And I'm going to be in a different room doing my own shit,
and you have to hit it with that little fork.
You have to hit the crystal glass with that little fork, so I come in there.
Summon me.
And then I just, I don't even use hands.
I just buddy it out of the.
out of the dish
There's a
There's a comedian named Matt McCarthy
Do you know who that is?
I do.
We've worked with him at Cracked.
Matt McCarthy's wonderful.
He's been in a lot of different commercials
and has like a vast knowledge of commercials in general.
He's got a podcast, I think it's called the Video Garage.
And he has, he collects VHR.
tapes from all over the place.
Like anyone who estate sales, yard sales, people send him tapes now.
And most of these VHS tapes, it doesn't matter what's on them.
Like most of them are blank or whatever, but there's something recorded.
It's just not labeled.
And then part of his whole video series is he'll be like, uh, we got a people ask for
this one number number 326 in honor of Steve McQueen's birthday on March 26th.
Let's look.
Let's get into it.
And then like he goes through and he finds they're all,
they're numbered in his vast catalog in his garage.
And he'll pull out tape 326 and he'll look at it.
Now, generally the stuff that's on there is going to be like a movie that somebody taped off of television.
I think that the movie itself taped off of television is not the point.
It's the commercials that he's very interested in.
And it's so satisfying watching these commercials that you completely forgot existed,
but still are like kicking around in the back of your brain somewhere.
And watching them come up again on.
a screen and it's like it that is my ratatouille moment it's like i'm watching that fucking
jean luke nespresso ad i'm like oh this takes me back i mean one day when this all falls apart
i'm going to do a podcast entirely about commercials and just talk about them it's clearly a
thing i'm a thing with which i am obsessed um so this mad mccarthy show sounds right up my
fucking alley it's wonderful i think it's on i think there's clips of it on instagram
too if you're just like we're on reels you know where i'm finding it dan downstream on
facebook hell yeah here's an here's a quick question for you soren um because it was such a
quick poll for you in honor of steve mcqueen's birthday 326 march 26th um that was such a specific
poll that i have to imagine that came up recently in the show he did do steve mclean because
Steve McQueen's birthday is March 24th.
Whoa.
You were insanely close and you just picked numbers and a person.
Yeah.
So he did, I think he did a Christmas week.
I think he did a Steve McQueen week.
But that would have been recently, not in the future, which is March.
That's right.
So I don't know.
Maybe I just got lucky.
That's crazy.
I don't know Steve McQueen's birthday.
I don't even think I've seen a film
Steve McQueen movie.
No.
Well, this has been a lot of fun, Daniel.
This was so much fun.
We had a lot of fun here.
Thank you for indulging me in this particular weird one.
And if you find out that a Muppet goes missing,
regardless of whether it's Gonzo,
I don't want you to specifically ask, did you take it?
I will not.
implicate myself thusly.
Thank you.
All right.
Well, we had a lot of fun here.
Thank you, Daniel.
If you liked our theme song, that's by me, Rex.
If you like this podcast, you can watch it.
You can watch all of our podcasts on YouTube.
If you want more of this, you can't get enough.
Then you can join us on our Patreon.
If you have a Patreon subscription, you get an extra version of this podcast, not even this
podcast, just like you get a little extras.
You get it.
We talk some more to each other in a different setting, wearing the exact same clothes.
And if you like quick question and what we do here, that's all thanks to Gabe Harder.
Hell yeah.
Runs this show.
Thank you and good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good question for you all right.
I want to hear your thoughts.
I want to know what's on your mind.
I've got a quick, quick question for you all right.
The answer's not important.
I'm just glad that we can talk tonight.
So what's your favorite?
Who did you get?
When would I be?
Two best friends and comedy writers.
If there's an answer, they're going to find it.
I think you'll have a great time here.
I think you'll have a great time here.
