Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Which Movie Prop Would You Steal? | Quick Question Ep. 321

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien debate the logistics and ethics of stealing iconic movie memorabilia for personal use, weighing the merits of the Holy Grail and the Dirk Diggler neon sign against the c...riminal implications of kidnapping Gonzo from The Muppet Christmas Carol. Later, the discussion shifts to fictional movie meals they wish they could eat, including the abandoned macaroni and cheese from Home Alone, the imaginary food in Hook, and the Crunch Berry Burgers from House Arrest.Thanks to Mint Mobile for sponsoring this episode. Make the switch! MINTMOBILE.com/QQThanks to Shopify for sponsoring this episode. Sign up for a $1/month trial at shopify.com/qqFollow the guys on Bluesky!https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.socialhttps://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.socialBonus episodes 2x/month at patreon.com/quickquestion OR Apple Podcasts

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to quick, quick question for you all right. I want to hear your thoughts. I don't know what's on your mind. I've got a quick, quick question for you all right. The answer's not important. I'm just glad that we can talk tonight. So what's your favorite? How did you get?
Starting point is 00:00:33 If there's an answer, they're going to find it. I think you'll have a great time here. Welcome back to quick question, the podcast. If you're just joining us, you joined at the right time because it's the start of the episode. Kudos to you. I'm trying to think of what circumstances somebody would have come in in the middle. Yeah. How that would have ever happened?
Starting point is 00:01:10 They're like, just like this happened to be what was on HBO at the moment. They were like, oh, I'll watch the rest of this. There's going to come a time when you can already sort of see it. when Netflix is snatching up a bunch of podcasts and Hulu is snatching up podcast and YouTube is airing podcasts. Someone in the future is going to bundle a bunch of things. We will have sold the rights of our show for a fucking song to Barron Trump.
Starting point is 00:01:40 And someone's going to bundle a lot of stuff. And 20 years down the line, someone will just turn on like whatever is their version of a cable channel, just something that is like, constantly airing content and this will just show up we'll just be part of like an endless stream of other shit
Starting point is 00:02:01 that is on in the background of TV I mean the idea that we would ever one day be syndicated is like I know just like the money that I would be swimming in is really appealing to me that would be I'd be fine with that I'd be fine with that if you turn on the TV
Starting point is 00:02:17 do you remember God you're reminding me that when Netflix first started just streaming and not doing their discs, there was a little dice on the screen. That was Netflix, right? And you could just roll the dice and see what you were going to get. Oh, yeah, and they were just going to give you something.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Yeah, you could choose one of the 27 things that they had or they would choose for you. And you could just like, you'd roll the dice and you might get episode 37 of MD Nest. Yeah. That's what a quaint time. And now they have an algorithm that perfectly, tailored to my tastes
Starting point is 00:02:53 feeds me dog shit. So it's great. No matter who you are, they know exactly what kind of specific keyword-driven slop you will tolerate having on in the background. That's how I'd like to roll the dice now. I would like to, on all of my apps,
Starting point is 00:03:09 all my, like Spotify, anything where I'm consuming, I want the dice roll to be like, hey, everything you learned about me, forget it for a second because I'm mad at everything you're giving me. Yeah. Like, let's just try something brand new. I get mad at my headphones in the gym.
Starting point is 00:03:25 I've surely mentioned this before as a feature that I wanted to add it to things, but like some kind of punishment reward system for the recommendation algorithms because I'm not wholly against
Starting point is 00:03:42 Spotify finding music for me or Netflix trying to find something for me if they did it well, but they never do. Every once in a while, Spotify, will nail it. And I, and I wish there was something more I could do than just adding it to like songs or giving it to, giving it a thumbs up. And I wish the punishments were felt more sternly when they, when they send me something that I really don't want. Right. How do I hurt the algorithm? I pay for Spotify. I should be able to reduce it a little bit monthly if they
Starting point is 00:04:18 service me poorly. If they just like a couple of strikes in a row and are just like, okay, well then you get $2 less from me this month. And I will go back to the normal amount if you do your job well. This is a system that I do not want
Starting point is 00:04:33 my bosses to hear and to apply to my job performance. Which a contract is a contract, sirs. Yeah, I get so angry at my own music. And I'm like angry because I will listen to, I can't curate playlist my whole life
Starting point is 00:04:51 I have to rely on Spotify to do it some of the time so I'm like I'd use that little DJ function which if you've ever used insane Have you ever used it Dan I don't know I don't know what any of the buttons do Oh God there's a there's a DJ button
Starting point is 00:05:05 And this guy comes on and he's like Hey it's your DJ Today I got some really pump up music for you You're gonna love this There's not really a little guy You're pulling my life No there's a little guy He says this music's right up your alley
Starting point is 00:05:17 I got some stuff picked out from you from 2003 and then he plays it. But the problem is that it is AI, I think, because hearing him pronounce the names of bands, sometimes he just, a lot of times he gets it just right. He'd be like, that was Animal Collective,
Starting point is 00:05:34 holding it down, coming up next. But occasionally he'd be like, that was Florence, I own the machine. Oh, boy. You're like, whoa. What happened there in the record booth?
Starting point is 00:05:44 Did we get it wrong? and it's pretty good. I mean, they do a pretty good job. If you only curated your music up until you use the DJ, the DJ would be great. But the problem is that if you listen to the DJ for more than like four days in a row, whatever he's served you up counts his music you've listened to. So now that's your favorite fucking music. So it's the self-fulfilling prophecy that whatever it gives you,
Starting point is 00:06:09 you're listening to that over and over and over again. Occasionally it'll be like, I'm going to try something new. those are those are rarely hits but most of the time it's like imagine all of your favorite bands and the worst song
Starting point is 00:06:22 from every one of your favorite bands in one convenient mix that's what this is we gotta fix it folks we gotta spend push more money to the tech companies yeah they need more money
Starting point is 00:06:36 they need more money tech needs money to refine the algorithms to make our lives easier well I don't know that's what we're aiming for anymore. I feel like we gave up on that
Starting point is 00:06:47 all the time ago. Tech did anyway. Tech was like, why are we fucking helping these broobs? Let's just make some money off of them. Why are we making,
Starting point is 00:06:59 yeah, why are we making things easier? Couldn't we just, is there a way that we can make money without paying anyone? And then just shut the fuck up. Just be happy.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Why are we trying to help these people complain all the time? Why are we trying to help them? What if we're trying to help them? made something that nobody wants and insists that everybody has to use it from this point forward and we'll make it part of every call center
Starting point is 00:07:23 and everything that they ever have to interact with. That's my AI pitch. Okay. Daniel, we can start the show. Okay. Great. This is quick question.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Just joining us. It was Soren and Daniel. I'm Soren. What a half of that podcast? A Writer for American Dad. Daniel is a writer for last week tonight. And because we're in the entertainment industry, I think this question is particularly apt in.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Quick question. Shoot. If you could steal any piece of movie memorabilia, what would you want the most? Can I clarify that this is not like I'm not stealing a functioning time machine. I'm stealing a DeLorean. If you get the Bill and Ted's phone booth, it does not go back in time.
Starting point is 00:08:13 You cannot go pay. up Napoleon. Does it make calls? Raging waters. It may be. Let's say it makes calls. Okay. But yeah, this is just like a piece of memorabilia that you think would be nice.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Now, a key component of this, I think, is the word steal. I've asked you what you would steal because, let's say you had the luxury of all these were in one place and you could take it without anybody knowing. But it has to be something that this guarantees that it's something you want for you. Because you can't really show that off a ton because you have something you're not supposed to have. So it's something that you would have for just yourself. For anyone who's leaping to like,
Starting point is 00:08:54 oh, a James Bond, Aston Martin or a really nice guitar from any movie that featured a band that had nice guitars, I can't drive the Aston Martin around because that's going to be too much heat and I can't play the instrument out and show it off for people. Right. Everyone's like, oh, fucking DeLorean, Acto I.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Like, these are the things I want. Like, no, everyone would know you had it then. You have to give it back. So what's something that you would like secret, like you'd secret it away? And then maybe when you'd had a couple drinks at a dinner party, you like, you want to see something fucked up? Oh, man. You're still thinking, you are still thinking it would be something that I will tell people. I would, I don't think I'd be able to help myself.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I, humiliatingly, I just Googled softest bed in a movie. Like, I don't even think, and like Google, Google is not helping me at all. I don't think that. But also, just because like in the script, they're like, hey, this bed's really soft. It does not mean that that is soft. No. Well, all right. I'm going to go first because I've got some.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I've got actually quite a few. But I'm going to start with my favorite one. This is one that I thought about for a long time. And how long will become evident when you hear it. I want Gonzo. Gonso, the Muppet? Gonzo the Muppet. That is a, I suppose it's technically a piece of movie memorabilia.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Man, I want a whole actor. I know, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want Gonsa the Muppet, maybe from a Christmas story. Like him and his little Victorian outfit, I think I would be so pumped to quietly own. If, if I did what I'm thinking about, yeah, whether it's, I steal what looks like a really soft pillow, or a, cool sword from a movie that's like a fun conversation piece. I think people would, like, the prop houses would be like, damn, our sword is missing.
Starting point is 00:10:58 That's a bummer. I might get fired because the sword is missing. I think people, real people, would be really upset if a gonzo was missing. I think they would too. I think it would make the news. I think. it would be a scandal on par with that missing Guthrie
Starting point is 00:11:25 that no one can seem to keep any tabs on. I think people would be like, where is this gonzo? And like, we didn't receive a note or anything. And we just like, we'll pay anything. We just need to know where it is and why this happened. Right. Look, we all get stubborn about something.
Starting point is 00:11:44 For Daniel, it's anytime anybody recommends a movie more than twice to him, you don't want to ever watch it. And for me, it's about not overpaying for wireless. I hate the idea of overpaying for wireless. That's why I switched to Mint Mobile, and I'm glad I did. You should check out Mint Mobile. Make the switch at MintMobile.com.
Starting point is 00:12:04 You stop paying way too much for wireless just because that's how it's always been. Mint exists purely to fix that. Same coverage, same speed, just without the inflated price tag. The premium wireless you expect, unlimited talk, text, and data, but a fraction of what others charge. And for a limited time, get 50% off 3, 6, or 12-month plans of unlimited premium wireless. Bring your own phone and number to the account. Activate with ESIM in minutes and start saving immediately.
Starting point is 00:12:32 No long-term contracts, no hassle. With a 7-day money-back guarantee and customer satisfaction ratings in the mid-90s. With a 7-day money-back guarantee and customer satisfaction rating in the mid-90s, Mint makes it easy to try and see why people don't go back to their old character. So are you ready to stop paying more than you have to for your wireless? New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch now at mimpmobile.com slash QQ. That's mintmobile.com slash QQ.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Off-front payments of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 month, or $180 for a 12-month plan required, $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Over 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. Additional terms apply. See mintmobile.com.
Starting point is 00:13:30 It would have to be the heist of a century. I'm sure they keep Gonzo pretty locked up. Yeah. But I still think I could. Like, if I had the opportunity and I think that I could get away with it, having that Gonzo, I would, you know, I'm like thinking like what I would even do with it. But like, I'd play with it. I'd be like, I'd put my hand up there and I'd,
Starting point is 00:13:50 I'd talk to it. And it would talk to me. Do you have a Gonzo? No. No, you could just go get a Gonzo? No, like a Gonzo voice. Oh, no, you know, I got a Grover, which is not too bad, not too far. I just feel like I've got a launch pad.
Starting point is 00:14:07 If I start with Grover, I can get to Gonzo. They're not so far apart. There's a monster at the end of this book. It's, I'm imagining this scene in a movie. where it's a montage of people across political and class lines huddled together watching the news and finding out that that Grover is gone missing. No, Gonzo. Gonzo has gone missing.
Starting point is 00:14:36 And the news is specifically like, yeah, the Christmas Carol won. And then the families at home were like, the Christmas Carol? Oh, my God. That's so, that's so, like I'm crying, thinking about it. And then smash cut to you with... Doing a girl overvoice. With gonzo. And it's going like, near and far.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Near, near. Just like the last person in the world who deserves a conzo. We be having so much fun. And occasionally I'd be like, I'm not dealing it. I'm going to try some other ones. And I'd be like, waka, waka, waka. Anything else? This is creamy.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Yeah. And just seeing what looks good coming out. his mouth. Someone from the Henson estate comes on TV and it's like, well, it's day 45 of missing Gonzo. We have abandoned hope that we're going to get it back. No one has made contact. We are just praying that wherever Gonzo is, he's in good hands and he's bringing joy and then smash to you in the mirror and you're like, you're talking to me, are you talking to me? And no one else here? You're talking to me? I think I have so much fun with it. My kids. I would let them play with it.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Also, I'm pretty confident that when it did make the news, they start talking about it like it was a kidnap person. They'd be like, just bring him home. People crying on the steps of a courthouse is what I perceive with like a makeshift podium being like, we just want to make sure he's safe. Yeah. And that you bring him home.
Starting point is 00:16:10 We have, Muppets are a very special kind of, of memorabilia. They require a very specific type of maintenance. We have the spare parts that we think you're going to need. We're going to leave them on the steps at the
Starting point is 00:16:29 courthouse. We're all going to close our eyes and turn our backs. Feel free to take them. We just want to make sure that you are taking care of Gonzo. Please. Well, I'm fiercely trying to Google a child's coffin that I could just keep it in. Oh, man. I don't I don't know why it's so dark to take Christmas gone stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:56 I don't think I've ever had as much of a problem looking at you. Could you, could you, I mean, if they were really into it and like they really wanted it back, they would they would put the rat up there at the podium being like, Yeah. Just return my friend. Yeah. God, you remember the fucking. Jim Henson funeral
Starting point is 00:17:23 where Kermit sang This is gonna be 10 times sadder than that Yeah I mean and it would really Fuck people up And then and then I think no one would be excited either That I should when I show it to them They'd be like well I'm implicated now
Starting point is 00:17:38 Yeah I heard all about this This was like this was bigger than John Bonnet Ramsey You're not supposed to have this There'd be nothing in your will about like giving it back That thing would just be trashed We'd never find it Oh yeah would never be closed for the rest of the world.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Well, I mean, I'm keeping it underground. That's why I'm buying the coffin. I don't want anyone to know that I have this thing. Yeah. But occasionally I dig it up and I just, I'd exhume it and play with it and bury it. God. That is such a bummer. I walk gonzow.
Starting point is 00:18:13 I know. I don't, I wish I had a better answer because yours is so rich. and I'm still just thinking truly about soft-looking things in movies that I could just like just sit in for a second. They take a load off. While you're thinking about it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:35 There was a antique road show once. A woman came on with the original, I don't know if it was him. I don't know if it was Rudolph, but it was like some of the other characters, the ancillary characters from Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer, movie that she had the plasticine or like felt little dolls of it that they used and that they
Starting point is 00:18:57 would position and these things were in such rough shape and it was like and at the time I was like how can an individual person own something as iconic as this because she fucked it up she like she didn't take care of this stuff it was all a mess like the noses were falling off and the felt was like it looked like it was the skin was peeling and stuff and she had not she had not done her due diligence owning a piece of Americana. And I thought that was pretty fucked up. And then I thought, what if I did it? I'm more into that.
Starting point is 00:19:29 What do I want? And it would immediately in my brain. I knew exactly what I wanted. And I'll give you one more, Daniel. Okay, please do. That I, speaking of like, seeing it in your brain first, I know that they had to make this for the movie. It's in the movie for maybe two seconds, tops.
Starting point is 00:19:51 But I know it was before it had to be a practical effect, and I know they had to make it. I want the Dirk Diggler neon sign. Okay. Why? Because people know exactly what it is the minute they see it. I think it's a very funny thing to have. I know exactly where I put it. And even turning it on.
Starting point is 00:20:15 If it turns on the same way where it goes purple first, that purple outline first, and then Dirk Diggler. I think it's really good for a comedy reveal if you're out at a bar and you're telling someone that you stole a famous movie prop and they and they ask a lot of questions and it comes around to like it's from it's from boogie nights and I think you recognize it. I think if you've seen the movie. And then you open your closet and it's the sign and everyone's like, oh. Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess that would be even harder to steal that I was thinking of a...
Starting point is 00:20:54 But this is cool, too. This is impressive, too. I have this and the gun that William H. Macy shot himself with. What do you think? The Dirk Diggler, the same with like neon signs Forever. Like Brazil has like at the very beginning of that movie, there's a beautiful neon sign that they had to commission, I'm sure. You can make signs. Yes, but I could.
Starting point is 00:21:21 of steel signs. And if it's the one, I mean, Jason, obviously, we've talked philosophically about this with Jason Arsion before. I'm like, things don't mean more just because they were used in something great or used by someone that you consider great. But I still believe it.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Yeah. I'm never going to get away from that. I, knowing that I had the Brazil neon sign from Brazil or the Dirk Diggler from Bogey Knights, I think would be, I think that would be awesome. I might want to steal the Holy Grail from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:22:06 It is very cool looking. It's cool looking. I think I've seen that movie 10,000 times. I'd be able to pull that chalice out of a lineup and a bunch of other people would, but not everybody. You know, I could have it out still, and someone wouldn't say that's stolen. I think they would just think,
Starting point is 00:22:27 like, that's an interesting-looking mug of a carpenter. Would you use it around the office to drink your tea out? Just see who will notice? Giant thing. Yeah. And also, that seems like it's going to take some real care, because you're going to have to scrub that down with linseed oil, I think, constantly,
Starting point is 00:22:49 to keep it and show. Jake. Yeah. Lindsay, is that the one you're allowed to still eat out and drink out of? I can't remember. But it's fully wood, right? I have absolutely no idea. I think so. I'm just Googling around other, like, big movie props right now.
Starting point is 00:23:03 I have one for you, Dan, that maybe you, it is like comfort related. That might be nice. Wilson, the volleyball is a good one. Oh, yeah. Wilson, the volleyball is good. And it also, there's something funny to me. When I was very, very young, we went to a, uh, a AAA baseball game, the Trenton Thunder, which they were called at the time.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I don't know if they're, they might be the Blue Clause now, but they were the Trenton Thunder. And I went for a foul ball and was crushed by an adult man who sat on me to retrieve the ball and like, smashed my face onto like the corner of a concrete steps at a baseball stadium. And then he gets up, he's like, ha, ball. And he goes away. and he is the hero in his story where he got a baseball. And I'm sad and in pain
Starting point is 00:23:53 for the rest of the game. End of the game, the players are just like tossing out baseballs. And my dad catches one and tells one of the players please sign this for my son. He took a bad fall earlier.
Starting point is 00:24:08 His name's Daniel. And some player who maybe went on to the big leagues or maybe just stayed here forever. He was like a substitute teacher who's also a baseball player on the weekends. He signs best wishes to Daniel and he signs it
Starting point is 00:24:22 and it was this cool baseball that I had in a special place in the house until we ran out of baseballs and I needed a baseball to play baseball with my friends and then then we used it. I like the idea of having Wilson the volleyball from Castaway in a place of prominence
Starting point is 00:24:38 and then someone says let's go to the beach and it was like oh this is a time and money saver if I just like have a volleyball and we're playing with the actual Wilson. That would be fun for me. Recently I was searching for a Rocky's City Connect hat online. I wanted a fitted hat,
Starting point is 00:24:58 but I wanted the one that looked kind of like the license plate. You know the Rockies jersey. It's green and white. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. I need that. Problem is, that's the City Connect jersey from 2022. And it's unavailable pretty much anywhere. It was next to impossible to find this hat.
Starting point is 00:25:14 I had to find, I had to go through so many different small businesses to find it. because MLB, no dice, my friend. My day was saved. It was incredible. I got the hat, by the way. It looks incredible. It's a good size.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Oh, looks good. If you saw me out in the street, you'd be like, nice hat. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. So if you're a small business owner and you want to do better business online, you need that little purple button. Accelerate your efficiency. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify. is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling if you've got a brick and mortar. And if you're thinking, oh, sounds scary. What if I get stuck? Well, Shopify is always around to share advice with their award-winning 24-7 customer support. Tackle all these important tasks in one place from inventory to paint. to analytics and more.
Starting point is 00:26:21 No need to save multiple websites or try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. Everything is all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. The nice thing about Shopify is no matter how big you want to grow, Shopify gives you everything you need to take control and to take your business to the next level. See less cards go abandoned and more sales go. With Shopify and their shop pay button, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start. start selling today at Shopify.com slash QQ. Go to Shopify.com slash QQ. That's Shopify.com slash QQ.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Wilson, the volleyball is also fun because I think I could get away with not hiding that. Even the grail I might have to hide. Grover, you definitely need to hide because you'll be shot on site if someone, like, truly don't even tell me if you ever pull this off. You can't trust me with that information. It's good to know. It's good to know. Wilson, if you saw us playing volleyball on the beach with Wilson, you would think, oh, you bought a replica or you made your own Wilson. That's kind of funny. I think I could still have it out and people wouldn't know it was the actual Wilson.
Starting point is 00:27:37 I guess it depends on what stage of Wilson because the Wilson with like the, there was all deflated with the grass for hair. Yeah, not that one. I don't think you could get away with that. I think if that's not in a box, a plasticine box, everyone's like. What did you do? What did you do? What have you done, Daniel? You said you had another one for me? I've one more. I've one that maybe you might like. I don't actually know how important this or seminal this movie is for you. I would assume. No, I guess I just, we never talked about it.
Starting point is 00:28:10 I know what you're going to say. It's the good shepherd. It's the glasses Matt Damon wears and the good shepherd. Yeah, I want them. I do want them, Zorn. Yeah. Okay, great. Then let's get you that. The violin that the guy plays at the end of that movie. Absolutely. Let's keep naming stuff from Good Shepherd The earpiece That his deaf girlfriend Has the deaf girlfriend has the earpiece The aid
Starting point is 00:28:34 Isn't that, are we thinking about the same movie? That's like the beginning of About the FBI Yeah, okay Or is the CIA Yeah, well And that I'm right on all of these Fuck, I didn't realize
Starting point is 00:28:46 I had all those polls That's not a movie I should have seen yet That just came out As far as I'm concerned The thing that you might like and it serves a dual purpose for you, because you could actually use it in your house and no one would know until you said something is the rug from the Big Lobowski. Oh, I don't know if that's for me. Yeah. You're not a guy.
Starting point is 00:29:09 You're not a Cullen Brothers guy. I might lean more towards the robe that he wears because that robe is so lives in and seems pretty comfortable. I'm just, you're just catching me on a day, man. I just want something soft and comfortable. I forgot. I forgot your circumstances today. A big cup that I could drink a lot of water out of. Nice.
Starting point is 00:29:33 And a pillow from a movie. What's a good pillow? What is? And pretty woman, she seemed pretty comfortable in that bed. If I could just have a couple hours in that bed, I'd be okay. She wears a pretty good robe in that one, too. Yeah. That one looks like a comfy robe.
Starting point is 00:29:47 You want the sunglasses from the Big Lobowski? I would love the sunglasses. Block as much light out of my face as humanly possible. I would like the coffee can filled with the ashes of their friend, Donnie, but instead of the ashes, I'm going to put coffee in it. And then my day will be fine. There's a lot of stuff that, um, looks really cool
Starting point is 00:30:18 that I would like. I would like the John Hammond in Jurassic Park has a mosquito frozen in amber at like the top of his cane
Starting point is 00:30:27 that's pretty chill. Even the claw, the velociraptor claw is really cool. I would scare children with the claw. Those would be very cool to own
Starting point is 00:30:37 but yeah I don't think also tougher to convince people I think the gonzo looks so authentic and everything the minute anyone sees it they're going to be like
Starting point is 00:30:45 oh fuck fuck oh, fuck, oh, fuck. I am having such a hard time with this. I'm, I'm, it's really hurting me. It's, I think it's because it's also more believable even than taking a Kermit. I think, and there's so much Kermit out there. There's like a period piece, Gonzo is, and, and, I think if it was any other, it, it hurts, you, you know, you've maximized pain by picking Christmas Carol with his little outfit. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to have him. Maybe I'd reenact it. I'd throw him in the snow.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Is he? He's not the Cratchett stand-in in Mother Christmas Carol. He's just like a guy. He's a narrator. He's a narrator. Okay. They live within the town. He and the rat live within the town. Rizzo. You can't keep saying the rat. He's Rizzo. The rat. You don't have enough respect for the brand to stand. Neil Gonzo. No, the rat that hangs out with him. So when they live in the town until the ghosts of past, present and future come along,
Starting point is 00:31:56 also when Bob Cratchett comes as well, they are there for all of that. But they are, they can't be seen either. They're living by ghost rules as well. So they get to go back in time and see stuff. God, I think that's true. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's true. And then what's the frog's name? Shut up.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Yeah, we watched it recently. We watched it during Christmas and my children saw it. And I think that they were, it's just like, it seems a little dated to them. They were, they would kind of sit through it. But Colleen and I were wrapped. And my children were like, whatever, it's fine. It's such elf. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:37 I mean, it's not like, it's not like a lot of jokes per frame, a lot of like quick moving. entertainment for the attention span of a child today or even back then I don't know it is it's like a pretty measured Dickensian tale it is and it's they maintain a lot of the darkness of it I mean they don't shy away when they do the ghost of Christmas future that's a horrifying looking thing and even the Ghost of Christmas present he sings like a really beautiful song in the middle of it but throughout that whole process in which he's with the Ghost of Christmas Present the Ghost of Christmas Present is slowly aging and getting
Starting point is 00:33:19 older. Doing that to a puppet is pretty incredible and by the end he's like he can barely move and you're like oh wow time is fleeting we're all fucked and I can't just to get some even more clarity on this I can't steal the macaroni and cheese
Starting point is 00:33:39 from the second it gets made in home alone he never gets to eat it so can I can't I have to steal a prop now I can't just like go and steal yummy macaroni Groney and cheese. Okay. I'm going to, you know what, we've got time for this.
Starting point is 00:33:52 I want to, I want to ask you a separate question that maybe we're in your specific alley today, which is what piece of food, knowing that it would taste exactly like it was in the movie, what piece of food would you want from a movie? And I think that that's like a, every kid, that, that macaron cheese is fucking ball. That mac and cheese looks so good. And so much of the movie, I feel like, is building towards this. and like he's, he's, all of his, his schemes are done. He's just killing time.
Starting point is 00:34:24 It's like, I think I've got, I set up all my paint cans and all my other murder devices. I've got some time. Time to get a little sustenance. I can make whatever I want and I make this mac and cheese and it looks so good. And I know for a fact that I can buy mac and cheese and I can make mac and cheese exactly the way I want it to the T. and I could make it better than whatever microwave mac and cheese he has doesn't override the part of my brain that looks at that mac of cheese and is like, yeah, let me get some of that. And he doesn't even get to eat it. He has to go and kill the robbers.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Doesn't even take the time to shovel a few bites in his mouth for the sustenance before he runs away. He's just like, this is a prop. Goodbye. You're right. It is macaroni and cheese from the microwave, which is far inferior. but obviously in the movie it does not look that way. And as a kid too, you were just like watching him walk away from that
Starting point is 00:35:24 was torture. It's like the worst part of the movie. And I've seen it so many times, but I would say even though I know everything that happens in that movie, there were plenty of times watching where I was like, maybe this time he'll get a bite. Maybe this time. Maybe I missed it. Maybe I'm misremembering.
Starting point is 00:35:39 He runs back into frame and gets a little scoop. Let's see the movie. You know what, AI? Maybe the only thing. it would be useful for. Let me see, let me see McColley Culk can get to eat that fucking
Starting point is 00:35:50 macaroni and cheese. Okay, I have one for you, Daniel. Okay. I want to eat the imaginary food in Hook. Did we do this already? I knew that. How did I know that was your answer? Maybe we did it.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Maybe we've talked about this on the cracked podcast at some point. I think it, I got it, yeah, that's one that's always stuck with me is like watching them throw around that fucking frosting. I was like,
Starting point is 00:36:20 give me a taste I'd love to get some of that whatever that is that looks delicious I would try that or the gray stuff from Beauty and the Beast we don't see it
Starting point is 00:36:33 but we know that it's good and it's gray what the fuck is this what are we talking about there is did you ever see a movie that I've seen 10,000 times
Starting point is 00:36:42 called house arrest what's in it thank you so much for asking Jennifer Love Hewitt early role you've got Kevin Pollack you've got Jamie Lee Curtis
Starting point is 00:36:55 I think you've got Shooter McGavin himself Christopher McDonnell you've got Wallace Sean you've got this kid who plays Grover who showed up
Starting point is 00:37:06 a couple other things and then I think completely disappeared from my life the plot of the movie and it's a great lovely 90s or early 2000s kind of movie where this
Starting point is 00:37:17 this kid Grover his parents are are going to get divorced and he really doesn't want that to happen and he just thinks if I can if I could just like keep them trapped in a room if I ground them in a room
Starting point is 00:37:32 then they will come to some kind of resolution they will they will reconcile and they won't get divorced that's his plan and then a couple other kids from his school find out about his plan so like we want you to do the same thing to our parents
Starting point is 00:37:47 and now the basement has has like four sets of parents living in the basement while all of the kids live in the main house keeping them surveilled and keeping them fed and they're like you all have to just like work out your shit and then when you're back together then we'll let you out and we'll and then you won't be mad at us and you won't get a divorce
Starting point is 00:38:10 it's a very silly very fun premise for a movie and the kids cook food for them and they do this whole like cooking scene and because they're children, the things they make are like hamburger patties of pure sweets. I think they call them Crunchberry burgers
Starting point is 00:38:33 where they're just putting like Upsolberry cereal and marshmallows and chocolate and mixing it together and then frying it in patty shape. And they're like, all right, parents, this is what a kid would make for a meal for you. Enjoy your crunchberry burgers. And Wallace Sean likes them.
Starting point is 00:38:51 He thinks they're delicious. I don't need him. I don't need even his endorsement. I look at that. It was like, that looks fucking, that's, that's, that's like a rice Krispies treat that isn't afraid of being judged. It's, they just really went all out and put all the shit in it. And they just, they made just a big sugar patty. And it looks fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:39:15 I don't, I mean, I don't remember this movie at all. I'm reading the synopsis. I remember it a little bit. I have no, I'm sure I probably saw as a kid, but I have zero recollection of it at all. But man, that does sound good. Just the description of it. I'm in. I'm in.
Starting point is 00:39:32 I'll try any bullshit, weird, ass, serial thing in the world. Give it to me. I got to make sure this movie exists. I just looked it up. It's real, right? It's real. Good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Yeah, I was surprised to find out a spoiler that not all. the families do get back together at the end. The Ned and Janet, who are the mom and dad, the main mom and dad, they do. But there are other groups that just like, they just like, nah, it didn't work. It didn't take. Thanks for kidnapping us for a little while. That's like an important part of that movie that made it when I was a kid that made it seem like realistic. I was just like, because the, again, Kevin Pollock and his wife, Jamie Lee Curtis, get back together.
Starting point is 00:40:14 But Shooter McGavin, who was like a serial divorcer, I think he. just continues to have his bad relationship. And it's a lesson that, like, that reaches the boy who wanted his parents to not get divorced. But it's still like, yeah, it's not all, you can have a happy ending that is not necessarily your parents get together forever. Like, like the fact that some parents stay together is good and the fact that some parents don't stay together is also good in a different way. And the kids have to learn that lesson as well. and as a 12 year old or whatever I'm just like shit yeah that's true
Starting point is 00:40:52 that is life happy ending looks different from person to person I understand that yeah let me get those crunchberry burgers did you Daniel did you ever see the movie the menu this feels almost like a cheat I did not see the menu that's that's an extremely oh oh I did see the menu I was thinking of the Stanley
Starting point is 00:41:12 Tucci Tony Shalube restaurant movie that's big night that's a very Daniel coded movie that I've seen. But the menu I saw, yeah, for sure. The big night I even think about. That one also has some, like anything from the big night would have been great. Yeah. I think that, yeah, so watching the menu, I think the cheeseburger in the menu. Yeah. That she insists on him making. Like that one, you watch the whole prep for it and everything like that. That looked absolutely delicious. Yeah. I think I would have liked to have eaten that as well. But she didn't love it, right? She thought
Starting point is 00:41:43 it was just okay. She said, no, it was her excuse to leave. She takes a bite and then she she says it's a cheeseburger or whatever and then she's like I'd like to just take the rest to go and he and he has to honor that because that's chef rules I guess? Chef rules yeah yeah chef rules are they're allowed to eat he's not allowed to go to bed until he fulfills all the requests
Starting point is 00:42:01 of his patrons yes and she would like to take it to go yeah uh that was a fuck that was a not a great movie no that movie's awesome I love that fucking movie you're wrong you're crazy
Starting point is 00:42:16 you're wrong Um, they, Dan, what? The chef's big zenith, like the, the,
Starting point is 00:42:29 the, the highest point of the movie for him is that he's going to turn everyone into smores. No, he's just going to kill everybody. No, he turns them into smores. No, he doesn't. He kills them all. Yeah, how does he kill them?
Starting point is 00:42:45 They all die. They burn the restaurant down. As, but the People are fucking covered in marshmallow and chocolate. Do you not remember this? He turns all of them. True. He turns all of it.
Starting point is 00:43:01 They are to the dessert and they are toasted marshmallows. They burn, everybody burns down, but they are all covered in the ingredients of s'mores. Guests are dressed in white cloaks and hats resembling marshmallows while chocolate, gram cracker crumbs are scattered on them. before the restaurant is set on fire, killing everyone. Uh, I guess. I suppose in a way. That's one interpretation.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Yeah. That they become s'mores. Yeah. But it's like symbolism. Okay. Great. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:46 That doesn't make it a bad movie. It's a good movie. All right. And I, and you can trust me. Because I kind of remember. Remember it. It's not terrible.
Starting point is 00:43:59 It's fine. I did remember watching it and being like throughout, as you're kind of trying to figure out what's going on, it was very fun. And I was, I was hooked. Yeah. I'll tell you something I don't fucking want is the Rattitooie from Rattitooie.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Now that one I haven't seen. Does anyone be s'mores in that one? Nobody is, nobody be s'mores. Okay. What they do, there is a, there's an impossible to please food critic who cannot possibly find out that a chef has a rat in his hat helping him steering him to make food
Starting point is 00:44:32 but they this food critic comes to the restaurant and they serve him a ratatouille which is a very basic meal it is a bunch of finely sliced zucchini sure maybe some other some some some squawishes and he eats it And the point is that the food, there is no food that's truly really delicious. There's food that only guides you back through your own history.
Starting point is 00:45:00 So he takes a bite and he's reminded of being a little boy on some provincial fucking mountainside where his mom would make this. And the point is like, that's what food is. Food brings people together. Food is like memories. Food is this. You know what's interesting? I disagree. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:45:18 Yeah. That's why I don't want. That's why I don't want this fucking Rattitooie Because I look at it, I'm like, oh, well, maybe Rattahooie is good. Let's see what Rattitooie is. Oh, this is just squash. It's just real squash. I don't want this shit.
Starting point is 00:45:31 That's a very cute thesis for a movie that food is not good. It's only good if it's specific to you. I love my mom and I love my mom's cooking. There are chefs who make it better than she does. And, yeah, in a couple areas. I'm always amazed. Lots of burger places make better burgers, for example. And that's okay.
Starting point is 00:46:06 I would rather a burger from stout or umami, which I think is closing, better than my true mommy. Yeah. We'll be right back. Your umami. True. I agree with you. People are always like, it's just like mom used to make.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Like, that's the highest compliment you can give to somebody. Or like, there's nothing like that a home-cooked meal. Yeah. I'm like, that's, I've never understood that say. That makes no sense to me. Because, yes, there is. There's something way better than that at a restaurant that's been tried so many different times before they even put it on the menu. They have locked that shit in.
Starting point is 00:46:48 So it is the perfect balance of fat, salt and sugar. and it's incredible and it's designed just for your palate. And then world-class chefs made it just for you. Yeah. I don't want to go so far as to say like the undeniable, objective global success of McDonald's disproves the premise of Ratatouille. I think the fact that like literally billions of people go to McDonald's,
Starting point is 00:47:22 and they get exactly what they want and it's and it's and it's perfect every single time means that food can be good unless that's stupid movie unless that's that's a nostalgia
Starting point is 00:47:36 for like their own shell I mean like a grilled cheese think about like a what a grilled cheese on you can't you don't even know what I'm talking about you have no fucking clue because you can't eat dairy I eat dairy now okay we've round it we've rounded a corner
Starting point is 00:47:49 it's a new season of our show things were getting stale so they had you get shaken up all the time all right white bread both sides and buttered
Starting point is 00:48:02 and then two slices of craft singles inside of it right you are repulsive I don't know if this is a thing
Starting point is 00:48:12 I actually enjoy it might not be but it's a thing that when I eat it I'm like yes I wanted this yeah
Starting point is 00:48:20 I wanted this and I don't know, it might just be that it is a memory. That's true. Sometimes I don't want the best grilled cheese in the world. Sometimes I want a soup commercial that I saw when I was a kid, where the soup is so good it melts the snowman into a boy. That's what I actually am chasing when I'm making tomato soup. Am I crazy?
Starting point is 00:48:48 No, but you've clicked into something that I think it, like the food and commercials has never possibly been as good as it is in real life. Like, the food and commercials looks, commercials in general, we did this for movies, but yeah. The food and commercials, like, a Vianetta, no, what is that, what is that, um, ice cream? A V for Vendetta. Yes, okay.
Starting point is 00:49:07 There's an ice cream called Vianetta, which I assumed was for billionaires, but it's like a folded ice cream dessert that you sliced like a loaf of bread. Yeah. But in the commercial, it looked absolutely unbelievable. And I get, you know, obviously, that's the fucking point of commercials. But, yeah, you know what food looks great in commercials? You know what?
Starting point is 00:49:28 I'd love a big fat spoonful of. Fancy Feast cat food, bro. Serve it up on one of those little glass platter things. That looks good. And I'm going to be in a different room doing my own shit, and you have to hit it with that little fork. You have to hit the crystal glass with that little fork, so I come in there. Summon me.
Starting point is 00:49:48 And then I just, I don't even use hands. I just buddy it out of the. out of the dish There's a There's a comedian named Matt McCarthy Do you know who that is? I do. We've worked with him at Cracked.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Matt McCarthy's wonderful. He's been in a lot of different commercials and has like a vast knowledge of commercials in general. He's got a podcast, I think it's called the Video Garage. And he has, he collects VHR. tapes from all over the place. Like anyone who estate sales, yard sales, people send him tapes now. And most of these VHS tapes, it doesn't matter what's on them.
Starting point is 00:50:31 Like most of them are blank or whatever, but there's something recorded. It's just not labeled. And then part of his whole video series is he'll be like, uh, we got a people ask for this one number number 326 in honor of Steve McQueen's birthday on March 26th. Let's look. Let's get into it. And then like he goes through and he finds they're all, they're numbered in his vast catalog in his garage.
Starting point is 00:50:56 And he'll pull out tape 326 and he'll look at it. Now, generally the stuff that's on there is going to be like a movie that somebody taped off of television. I think that the movie itself taped off of television is not the point. It's the commercials that he's very interested in. And it's so satisfying watching these commercials that you completely forgot existed, but still are like kicking around in the back of your brain somewhere. And watching them come up again on. a screen and it's like it that is my ratatouille moment it's like i'm watching that fucking
Starting point is 00:51:28 jean luke nespresso ad i'm like oh this takes me back i mean one day when this all falls apart i'm going to do a podcast entirely about commercials and just talk about them it's clearly a thing i'm a thing with which i am obsessed um so this mad mccarthy show sounds right up my fucking alley it's wonderful i think it's on i think there's clips of it on instagram too if you're just like we're on reels you know where i'm finding it dan downstream on facebook hell yeah here's an here's a quick question for you soren um because it was such a quick poll for you in honor of steve mcqueen's birthday 326 march 26th um that was such a specific poll that i have to imagine that came up recently in the show he did do steve mclean because
Starting point is 00:52:20 Steve McQueen's birthday is March 24th. Whoa. You were insanely close and you just picked numbers and a person. Yeah. So he did, I think he did a Christmas week. I think he did a Steve McQueen week. But that would have been recently, not in the future, which is March. That's right.
Starting point is 00:52:45 So I don't know. Maybe I just got lucky. That's crazy. I don't know Steve McQueen's birthday. I don't even think I've seen a film Steve McQueen movie. No. Well, this has been a lot of fun, Daniel.
Starting point is 00:52:59 This was so much fun. We had a lot of fun here. Thank you for indulging me in this particular weird one. And if you find out that a Muppet goes missing, regardless of whether it's Gonzo, I don't want you to specifically ask, did you take it? I will not. implicate myself thusly.
Starting point is 00:53:22 Thank you. All right. Well, we had a lot of fun here. Thank you, Daniel. If you liked our theme song, that's by me, Rex. If you like this podcast, you can watch it. You can watch all of our podcasts on YouTube. If you want more of this, you can't get enough.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Then you can join us on our Patreon. If you have a Patreon subscription, you get an extra version of this podcast, not even this podcast, just like you get a little extras. You get it. We talk some more to each other in a different setting, wearing the exact same clothes. And if you like quick question and what we do here, that's all thanks to Gabe Harder. Hell yeah. Runs this show.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Thank you and good night. Good night. Good night. Good question for you all right. I want to hear your thoughts. I want to know what's on your mind. I've got a quick, quick question for you all right. The answer's not important.
Starting point is 00:54:18 I'm just glad that we can talk tonight. So what's your favorite? Who did you get? When would I be? Two best friends and comedy writers. If there's an answer, they're going to find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.