Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Who knows, I might snap!

Episode Date: June 11, 2022

Ol pappy Soren gives some solid parenting advice and humblebrags about the quality of his imagination. 5 stars! And as always big thanks to our sponsors.  Thanks Skillshare. Skillshare.com/qq and one-month free trial

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get? When do I be remembered? What's it all good? Where did all the good things go? Oh, forget it.

Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien. Two best friends and comedy writers. If there's an answer, they're gonna find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here. So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where our two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers. I'm one half of that podcast, senior writer for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, author

of How to Fight Presidents, and installer of window air conditioner units, Daniel O'Brien. Joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Bui. Soren, say hi. Hey, everybody. I'm Soren Bui. I write for American Dad. I guess at this point I'm a producer, but I don't really know because usually it says at the top of my scripts during the table reads.

We don't have those anymore because we're all sitting at home. I also have installed a window air conditioner. Could you? Like in the last week. Do you think? Oh, congratulations, man. That's fucking tight air conditioner. Could you? Like in the last week. Do you think? Oh, congratulations, man. That's fucking tight as hell. Thank you.

You too. Did my smile read on Mike? It sure did. That was not planned. I was genuinely happy to say that I installed those things out loud because I didn't I didn't know I was gonna do it we I have uh this beach town it's all window units there's no central area here because because the town is is fictional and from the past and um they're a thing that is my responsibility per my lease when I want to install them it's up to me to do it whether I pay someone to do it or not and i was nervous

about doing it i actually went to next door and asked for advice just because like it's an old house and i've never done this thing before and there's too many things that can get screwed up and i'm also not like buying new units from the store and coming home with the package and all the instructions these are the units that have lived in closets in this house for years. Oh, okay. So I went to Nextdoor and asked for advice, and someone said, go to the town hardware store. And I went to the town hardware store, and they said...

And they just typed, what next? Yeah. And I went to visit the hardware store, and they're like, we used to offer that service, but all the neighborhood kids we had doing it uh grew up and left so we have no one who can do it now we are too busy we the owners of this hardware shop are too busy and the only other people we know are like licensed contractors and and i don't think you want to spend that kind of money i was like no i probably don't and i was like I'm going to, I guess I'll keep looking around.

Maybe I'll ask next door again. And the co-owner of the hardware shop, the woman, she was like, I think you can do it. And I was like, me? Little me? She was like, yeah, I really, it's not that difficult. I think you can do it. I believe in you. Give it a shot.

Show me your hands. And it was really, all it took for me was just someone saying they believed in me. And I was like, I can do this. And I woke up this morning and had time before work. And I just did it. I installed these units. And as far as I know, they work. We're going to see what happens if it gets rainy or windy.

But I think I did it. do you have those little accordion things around it to secure it? yeah that's the real that's the rub like that's the tough part just slapping it in a window is pretty easy it turns out thanks to Skillshare for supporting Quick Question

Skillshare empowers you it's an online learning community that offers membership with so much more to explore, real projects to create, and the support of fellow creatives. Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com slash QQ and get a one month free trial. I was nervous putting one of them in and like starting to screw it into the windowsill and feeling good about that. And then looking back in the closet and seeing like a whole other piece of like weatherproofing that I did not use.

I was like, oh no, I bet they included that for a reason. I know what that's for. Let me back up on this. Oh, did you ever figure out what it was for? Do you put it on the top or the bottom? The top. Do you put it? Well, so if it's a sliding window,

there's usually like a piece of insulation or foam that for when the window is up to like allow this air conditioner to sit in the window, what's happening is that you're creating a gap in between the two panes at the top. And so you're just, you're like stuffing it in there. Yeah. Copy, copy, copy.

You got it. Well, that's very exciting for you, Daniel. I'm glad that you did it. And I'm glad that you had windows that you could actually screw into the sill of because I've got vinyl windows and realized too late that I can't do that. So what? Fortunately, the one that I got has, it's, it's got, um, it's got a channel instead of just being like a plate that sits on one side that you screw in, it's got essentially a channel. It's U-shaped and the window sits perfectly inside of it. So the sill in the window, it's kind of like it locks into these little, it's just U-shaped.

So like the window itself locks in there and then it kind of holds it in place. As long as you don't put the window up, you're fine. But it's not so secure that you couldn't just do that you couldn't just like lift the window up further and let the whole thing fall out right but i'm the only one using this room because it's in my garage and my garage this time of year was this in your like your podcast shed it gets it's getting so hot and i the other day i look maybe i told you this i looked around this room and I thought

why don't I just fucking make this nicer why do I live like this I'm sitting here with like I'm crowded in by paint cans and stain and a bunch of stuff

like old tiles that maybe I'll need for the the backsplash in the kitchen at some point and it's hot

and I'm surrounded by wood and spiders and I'm like what what if I just fucking stopped woodworking and made put a couch in here yeah put something on the walls do something yeah that's anytime I come back from a trip and I have a suitcase lying somewhere for weeks and weeks and weeks and then I eventually finally pick it up and put it in the closet where it belongs and like oh I just made my life like noticeably better I'm happier I was under my control this whole time to just like fix a thing in my environment that was not bringing me any kind of joy oh I

see I wonder if I should yeah I should probably clean other stuff too. Yep. Let's apply some of this logic to the bathroom too. Yeah. I, I just live, I just live like this. And it's, and when you, your eyes finally opened to that, you're like, Oh shit, that's embarrassing. But yeah, the first step was obviously the air conditioner. That helped out a lot. Obviously not during recording.

We can't have it on during that. But the times in between. Ooh, baby. Recording the podcast easily the warmest my body ever gets in any given week. And that's saying something for you, I think. Yeah. I run a lot. I have a quick question for you before I get into real quick questions here, Dan.

You're still running a lot? Yeah, I ran today. And it's getting hot out there. I'm familiar with Jersey heat. Sí. Yeah, hace calor. Sí. And you're not having any problems with that?

You're not coming home some days and you just don't drink enough water water and then by the end of the day you're like oh shit this is bad i got a really bad headache and i i my brain gets black when i stand up well a couple of things it's cooler by the shore famously it's always cooler by the shore a little bit you get some ocean breeze two i run in the mornings now okay so it's a little bit cooler time of day um and i'm i'm more in control of how much water i'm drinking but three yeah it's like it's you know it feels like a heavier run with the the humidity yeah i don't love it it gets it gets stymied and i think about like in la if you get near the water, there's an eternal breeze here. The wind is, it whips in Venice, in Santa Monica, all up and down the coast.

But I've been to like Ocean City. I've been to Seaside Heights. It stays pretty stagnant a lot of the time. I mean, you get a little breeze, but it's just muggy and hot. Yeah. I know it's going to, it'll get hotter, and then I will,

I know the feeling that you're talking about where it's not even about hydration. It's just stepping outside and already being sweaty is bad. That's real bad news. It was a little bit of that. I was still running every day

in Costa Rica, and even that was just like, I don't, I'm I'm, I'm, I'm slower and this is less pleasant. And I wasn't like going for speed or distance, like any of my usual things. Just like, let me just run for 30 minutes and then like, let me not keep score. Yeah, that's a, It's an awful feeling. I ran in Costa Rica as well. And first of all, you're just glistening. You sweat more than you thought possible. And then also just trying to get air down.

It's you're drinking it, essentially. It's just you got to chew it to get it in your body. Yeah. And I'm also wearing lots of sunscreen, and I'm super self-conscious. I don't want to get dengue. So I'm covered in bug spray too. And it's just a whole suite of goo everywhere. Now, this is a problem that I have because it's getting hotter and sunnier here right now. And when I run, I got to wear some sunscreen, but inevitably, no matter what kind I get, it's going to end up

in my eyes. There's just like no avoiding it until some of my run is just like almost eyes completely closed. One squinting more than the other because the drops are closer and like just that awful sting. You dealing with that? Oh yeah. And it's one of those things that I've occasionally thought about going to Twitter about, but that's one of those questions that I've occasionally thought about going to Twitter about but it's that's one of those questions that's way too frustrating because I want to come out I wanted to engage with it authentically and I want to say I have tried as many sunscreens as I found to address this problem. And none of them worked. But I know I probably didn't try all of them. So there's a chance that someone's going to give me

the right answer that I haven't heard of. And so I'm asking you, Twitter, what are your tips for running with sunscreen and not getting it in your eyes? Please, please somehow know every sunscreen I've ever tried before answering. And then someone, I know myself well enough to not ask that question on Twitter

because I've done similar things before. And someone's like, I like SBF 50 Banana Boat. You can get it at CVS. I'm like, you son of a fucking bitch. Everything you thought of, I've thought of already. I'm looking for the holy grail of sunscreen here. Don't talk to me about CVS.

Don't talk to me about Amazon. Yeah, but you're also in a position where like, you can sweat through anything. Yeah. I don't think they know it. You don't have that qualifier to give to other people, which is like, by the way, I can sweat through spirit gum. Right.

When I ask a broad question with a lot of obvious wrong answers to Twitter, I'm really looking for one other person who's been like, hey, man, I saw footage of you sweating before. We are the same. I'm another one like you. You have to go to this doctor to get the sunscreen. That's the only place to get it. It's medical grade sunscreen. That's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for somebody who's like this one. This one is

essentially glue. You put it on your face as it dries. It completely hardens and cannot move ever again. I'm like, yeah, that's perfect. That's what I need for my runs because it's just this is untenable. Yeah. I always bring questions like this up to a group at work. And someone will be like, have you tried? Oh, I really like oil-free. And it's like, you're my last resort. You need to assume that I did all of the things that you, a normal person, would do. We have the same brains.

Yeah. You know me. You know that I am a functional adult. This isn't like a child asking you this question. I didn't smear chocolate on my face and be like, that wasn't it. Any other tips? I made sure that I couldn't solve this problem myself first. Right. year what's stopping you you got skillshare you got a month of it whether you're a dabbler or a pro or a hobbyist or a master you are creative don't let anyone tell you differently discover what you can make with classes for every skill level experience real improvement with hands-on projects and classes designed for real life they will give you tangible ways to think about your creativity and how to access it how to utilize it to the best of your ability.

Skillshare's entire catalog of classes now offers subtitles in Spanish, French, and Portuguese and Dutch as well. So I don't know how you're listening to this podcast, but if one of those is your language of choice, you can also do it through Skillshare. I've been taking Skillshare classes. I really have been enjoying the ultimate self-care playbook, Discover and Nurture Your Centered Self with Jonathan Van Ness. The reason I got into this one was because a YouTuber named Laidback said that health is wealth. And I thought, ah, I like the sound of that. Let's see if it's true. And now I've been taking better care of myself than I ever used to. And honestly, it does feel great. I genuinely joined the class. I find it very fun. And it's also good because I can come in at any level. It doesn't, I don't feel like he's talking over my head. I also don't feel like I have to just sit around and wait through a bunch of prerequisites that I don't

actually need. You can come in at any level you want, and it's very, very helpful. So explore your creativity at skillshare.com slash QQ and get a one month free trial. That's one month free at Skillshare.com slash QQ. Well, speaking of people who don't understand how functioning with other human beings works, I would like to do something on this podcast, Dan. Cool. That isn't a question. Tight. But it is something that I think I thought to myself,

how do I get this out to the largest group of possible people? And of course, you know, I went through the usual things. I was like, do I do like a, I know there's a gazebo at my park. Could I schedule something there? It just didn't feel big enough. You couldn't book a spot on Zeitgeist or something? Yeah. So like I, what I'm'm gonna do is do it here on this podcast this is a public service announcement to solve a problem that i i deal with every single week and i i think i've talked about it on the podcast before but like i really want people to spread the word on this because it's ruining my life.

Will you give me the space in which to do this? It's long. That's great. I can't wait. I'm going to just sit back. I might go on mute. All right. Let me just pull it up.

I think it's easier if I just, I mean, like I wrote it out so that I wouldn't get angry in the middle of it. Okay, then I won't go on mute. I'll just riff for a while to fill some time. Dear parents. Dear parents, as the days grow warmer and longer and your children are home with you eternally, your thoughts might turn to outdoor activities that might, in turn, lead you to local parks.

And that's fine. You will likely find that there are other children at those parks and that as you help referee the complicated and strange social interactions between your children and others, here's a handy guide to ensure that you know how to interact with other parents so that you can fucking act right. Did you just gasp? I did. I understand that part of the draw of a park is that your child might play with other children and just this once, just this one time, leave you alone for God's sake, Liam. But understand that not every parent is doing the same thing there.

Some of them might be playing with their children, and you'll recognize those people because your child and possibly three other kids have glommed onto that other parent in a starved craze for attention and acknowledgement now this isn't to shame other parents everybody needs a break from their kids but please pay the attention because this person is not playing with your kid just because they love kids they are essentially babysitting at this point and trying politely to avoid ever telling your child a devastating truth no one wants to play with you for free if your kid has attached to another family because the parents are playing a kick-ass game with their child you have an obligation in

that scenario but what can i do you might be screaming it's awkward if i join the game now and two adults are playing with children no it's not awkward it's totally fine for you to also play a game and lighten the load or you could say want a breather and offer the other parents some play uh other parents some space just occasionally i realize it can be awkward to also try to pull your own weight in a game of imagination with another adult, particularly a creative powerhouse like me. But anything, any semblance of effort is better than sitting on a bench and watching another adult babysit your child.

If you truly never find a foothold in the game or a way to get in the mix, that's okay. You can give it five minutes and then say something along the lines of, all right, Annika, let's give our friends a little break. Or come and have some water. Let's switch gears for a little bit and do something new, Hannathan. Or, hey, stranger, you just entertained my spittle-defiled,

uncomfortably aggressive child for that past half hour. Thank you. Your child doesn't know the intricacies of social interaction, and it seems like maybe you don't either. Because the situation you're forcing on other adults means that the next time they're at the park, they're going to try to be a buzzkill for their own kids so that they don't become an activity magnet. And then it's just an arms race between parents of who can do the least. And that's not a world I want to live in.

Thank you for your time, and please be better. Love, sir. Well done. Really great stuff. No notes. I texted you about this over the weekend. So you've ranted about this before on this podcast. Yeah. Surely. And I

think in life, too. Yeah, definitely in life. The version of this podcast that we we did before it was a podcast when we would just talk to each other at lunch yes uh it had never happened to me until just recently this last weekend the the thing that you complained about happened to me and i really got it like it wasn't it was uh i was meeting one of my friend's babies and my niece and nephew were also there and so i was playing with them a lot just like and the game was essentially like they're gonna stand on the bench i'm gonna pick them up off the bench and

pretend to throw them over the fence they take turns doing that we go back and forth it's fun uncle it's a great time uh and as i was wrapping up this game with those two some other boy who was at our party who first of all i think this kid was like fucking nine uh and i'm playing this this pickup game with a four-year-old and a two-year-old so the nine-year-old just like wordlessly appears standing on the bench like it's his turn doesn't doesn't introduce doesn't doesn't ask if he can play just like and now me and now hey you sir pick me up and throw me over the fence as well and i was just not having it part of it was like you're a stranger i don't i don't feel comfortable

with a stranger's kid like where are your parents who's i'm not gonna touch you are you we haven't met uh two you're much heavier than the kids that i've been doing this with and three bro you don't want me doing this either because when i'm playing with the other kids there's blood there and i don't want anything to happen to them i don't care what happens to you i don't have the same animal thing in me that is like don't really throw them over the fence who knows i might snap might snap. You don't know. Yeah. Just in like the last two days, I've dealt with this. Where at night, after we eat dinner, I've been taking my daughter for a bike ride on the back of the bike.

And we'll end up going to some park. And usually, a park's pretty dead by that point because it's like 637. But there'll at least be one other kid. And still, it happens. Where like this other kid, the other night, we were at this park. And this little girl came over to us. And she, when I say little, I mean, she was like seven and my daughter is two. And so like my daughter, I have to kind of keep an eye on in the park and play a little with her because she doesn't know how to do anything else.

And she's like, she's going to take some reckless turns where she's like, fireman pole, let's try that. And I'm like, nah, it's not really your speed yet. And so I'm following her around. This other little girl comes up to me and she's like, my dad says it's okay if I play with you guys. And I was like, point to your dad. Which one's your dad? Yeah, show me him.

And he's like, it's just this dude sitting on the swings. So like hogging some space too and just playing on his phone. Not acknowledging, not being like, hey, is that cool? Nothing like that. Nothing like that. Just like, oh, you see some people playing? Yeah. Go play with them for a while. And, uh, then I'm like, okay, great. And so I'm trying to play these games with my daughter. And this girl does not want to play the types of games that two-year-olds play. She's like, now we play tag. And I'm like, no,

because at this point, I'm just going to be playing with you. If I'm running around, she can't keep up with us. She doesn't even understand how tag works yet. It's just you and me playing at that point. And so then it was a lot of her being like, watch me, watch me. Now watch me on the slide. Now watch me hang on this. Now do this. Now watch me, watch me.

And me being like, yeah, I get that's really good. And trying to give her the bare minimum without being rude, being like, oh, yeah, very nice. And then moving on. And it just it got to the point where I was like, this girl is hogging our space. And she was one of those kids who was just a little bit wet in the face where it was like always makes me really nervous. And so I was like, we're going to go. It's time for your bath.

It's definitely time for your bath. We're going to go home. And so my daughter's crying. She doesn't want to leave the park yet. She knows the allotted time usually and we're not giving it to her. And I'm like, you just, you don't fucking understand. We got to get out of here. This kid sucks. And then last night

I took her to the park again. This other little boy came up to us. We were playing a game where there's like serving windows all the time. These little windows at parks underneath the slides and stuff. And we always play this game where it's like, it's a restaurant and she comes and she places an order, which is just blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. Spaghetti and a kayak. You got it. And like, I'm just like finding these things in the back. I'm not a great server. I'm,

I'm harried a little bit and like bring her some food. I charge her a billion dollars and she pays it happily. And that's the fun game. And so the kids see this happening and there's like an adult doing pantomiming and they're like, fuck yeah. And like, they are like in the game then too. And they want to play it. And so like, they're like butting in front of her to be like, make me spaghetti, make me spaghetti.

And you're like, oh fuck, no, this isn't for you. Like, I don't have to teach you how to do this kind of thing. That's somebody else's job. We're not. And so I'll be like, yeah, yeah. And just like wave my hands around and be like, here's your spaghetti. And like, but you forgot to ask for money. I'm like, it's free. Take it. Like, please just anything to get out of this game. And like, all right, switch. Now I'm going to be the shop owner. I'm like, okay. All right. Gilly, do you want to order anything from them?

No, she does not. She doesn't want to be around this child. Like she's just like stares at these kids who try to like these older kids that try to play these games that are a little bit too, like don't know their own bodies yet. Like a puppy where they're just sort of like crashing into stuff with their torsos. And, uh, so she's like, ah, I don't, I don't want to do this. And I'm like, yeah, I don't either. Let's just get out of here. Let's leave again. Why didn't we even come to this restaurant?

And so I thought in the evenings I'd be safe, but it's just as bad. And it's like, I get it. It's fine. If your child latches on with another kid and it seems, first of all, watch that situation. Make sure that your kid is good in that situation, that they're having fun together yeah and you're aware because you're an adult and then if you see an adult playing with their child and like your child joins in that game acknowledge it maybe like as a bare minimum just acknowledge it look at the parent be like give them that look that says you good or like can i do anything that's what got me curious i was wondering if uh and i feel

like i know the answer have you ever observed this from the other side where your kid clearly latched on to a a hit dad or a hit mom with a hit game yes yeah yeah at a birthday party there was a dad that was like there was a jumping castle there was a dad throwing these really soft balls at the kids. And my son was way into it, like more so than the other kids. And it was like throwing them back and like waiting to get hit again. Cause he really isn't dodging these balls. So the dad's doing it a little bit. And it seems like my son is really pulling the focus. So I went and did something about it. I was like, you want me to take over for a little bit? He was like, sure. And then I started doing it too. And then I, you know, the kids, kids will automatically hijack a situation like that. They'll be like, now both of you and you have to, there you say, no, that's not how the game works.

It's one adult doing this and that's fine. And then you can start alternating and it's like, that's all good too. But it, I just, it's baffling to me that a parent could look at another parent playing with their kid for anywhere from like 15 to 45 minutes and be like, God, that person really likes kids. Yeah. That person really likes playing with my child. Oh man, it's good this park had a guy like that. I wish more parks had a guy like that. That's great. I'm really catching up on my news.

Yeah, it makes me so mad. And it's just, I know like, there are now times where, you know, I go to the park, I can think of a fun game that I could play with Ronan, but I'm like, look, you just have to be cool for a second until the kids leave, and then we can play that game.

Otherwise, we're not playing it. We can start playing it. Act like you're not having fun. Just do it. Just pretend it's just okay. We both know it's great. We both know I rule at games. But just like, as long as there are other people around, pretend this is the lamest thing in the world.

Yeah. And that's, I mean, Colleen, sheen she's really to her credit she's great at this too she's great at playing games she's good at noting when her child is a burden to somebody else and she she will even be like i mean you come up with really fun games that's the problem i'm like yeah because i'm trying to like this is for me too right i want to be able to enjoy this time it doesn't have to be begrudging the entire time that you're hanging out with your kid like i'm gonna come up i'm not gonna come up with some stupid bullshit game and then have to play that why would i wrote

myself into that i'm gonna come up with something rad and we're both gonna play it and enjoy it so i just get so heated about it uh i hope that PSA does something for you. I hope that at least makes your neighbors really weird around you. Also, I'll say that I really like my neighbor's kids. I really looked out in terms of our neighborhood. There's not one that I'm like, ah, this fucking kid again. They're all great. When we have these Friday night block parties,

I'm into it. I'm into like bouncing around between the groups of kids. And that actually helps too, is that there's like not all the kids are the same age, just they don't want to do the same things. You can kind of like hang out with one group of kids for a little bit and be like, are you guys playing Ghost in the Graveyard?

I'll play one round with you. And then you're like, okay, now I'm going to go push these two around in a scooter or on a little buggy. And it's wonderful. It's like the best thing in the world and the other parents are doing it i just don't get it at parks man i was very happy and very lucky to have a bunch of family visit the beach house all together for the first time uh this past weekend and it's really great having there was just three kids in the house two two nephews and a niece and just really great like you know i have this house that's close to the

beach so i can have lots of family come and visit but it's for someone who has lived alone since 2008 it's always very strange when anyone else is in your home for an extended period of time. Not even like in the moment, like when everyone's there, I'm being present and enjoying everyone. But then when they're gone and I'm cleaning up, I know where everything in the house is supposed to be at all times. And kids obviously don't know and don't care and they shouldn't. It's a chill beach house do whatever you want but just my brain immediately recognizing like hmm the pillow that says beach that is normally on this couch is not on this couch

where's the the pillow that says beach is in the bathroom it's like the things that get moved in strange places that are like very casual kid things for me is just like well i guess i've been robbed yeah uh i and you it's funny because when you have your own kids they they learn it tacitly like you don't have to tell them really they just sort of like these are the things this these things have always been in this room and they love the pattern of it but when new kids come to your house it's it's lawless like they're gonna do things in your house you're like why the fuck is the exercise ball downstairs yeah it stays upstairs i have like the the main room with board games and tv and i have a guest room on this first floor and the kitchen and bathroom

on the first floor and then the second floor is my bedroom and the other bedroom and they're like easily the least fun places in this house and i had like games and treats for my nieces and nephew and as soon as i open the door my nephew bolts upstairs to my room and starts jumping on the bed i was like oh i hadn't i don't even know if i fucking cleaned that place. I didn't think that's where you were going to go. That pisses me off. But like there's people that come to my house and their child has decided to go into my room where I'm like, surely that's off limits. I get it.

I recognize that it's very interesting. That it's just like, I want to see where uncle sleeps. Yeah. That's like a reasonable thing for a four-year-old to be curious about. Of course. And something that I will keep in my brain now is like, oh yeah, he doesn't know that that's like where I recharge my batteries and where I keep my important files. Yeah.

Yeah. And in those situations, I'll tell the kid, I'll be like, oh no, we don't, this is, this room's off limits or whatever, really shut the door. But in the moments that they're in there and like, they're like jumping on the bed, there is part of me like looks to the other parent, like, you're the police here. You're the one who has to tell them this. No. and like that's the same thing at parks is like there's kids everybody's got their own boundaries and like what's acceptable we all kind of have this scatter plot of like what basically we're all kind of circling around like we think this is this is how you should live and like how you should interact with other humans yeah but when like there's no other parent there and it's your job to do it with this child i i panic in that situation where they're like and now i'm gonna climb on the outside of the jungle gym yeah climb on the outside of the jungle gym. Yeah.

Climb on the outside of the jungle gym. Watch me, watch me. Now I'm on the outside. I'm three stories up in the air. Now I'm going to go on the roof of it. And you're just like, uh, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say,

watch me because, because now I don't want to be liable in this situation. Right. And you can, I don't know. I don't know very much about kids, but I don't know what honestly you can get. If,

if you were just like, now, before I say yes to this, would your parents let you climb on the outside of this thing? Are your parents cool with you doing that awesome stuff that you described? They are. Okay. All right. We also, we went to the beach recently and there was a child that came over to our tent immediately. We have a cool tent. I respect that. Cool. But came over to our tent and then started playing with our sand toys.

And I was like, we're not playing with them right now. That's fine. But the mom came over and she's like, oh, don't do that. That's not yours. But that was it. And the kid obviously knew that was going to be it

because he just did not listen at all. And then he got up with his sandy, gross-ass feet and walked through my tent on the towels. And she was like, that's not yours. That's not yours. But like stayed 15 feet away, didn't try to move over to like grab him or anything like that. She's like, that's not yours. Those aren't your snacks. Honey, stop eating those.

Stop eating those. Those aren't your snacks. And then just like letting it play. And I was like, you have to do more. I'm not going to pick your child up in front of you. I don't know what the rules are around that. I'm not going to do it. You have to rush into that situation and be like, I'm so sorry. I know that this is a breach. Yeah. I will remove him from the situation. Also, he had shit and he stunk. And like, I wanted to be like, I was like, Hey, I i think i think one of our

kids maybe needs a diaper change i'll check mine like out loud like yeah it's not mine and they're like oh boy okay and then just like letting it letting it sit there and marinate yikes and i was like what do something do something please you're ruining our day i have to remember what I said. It was four kids, two nieces, two nephews. Oh, that's... Are they all around the same age? No.

Oldest is 10, youngest is 2. But they all play together, and they're all fantastic, and it's just great and such a joy. That's wonderful. One of the nieces, just because we were talking about games with kids, she is the most down to play. And any game in the world that you want to play,

as long as you're doing it with her, she will commit to it and she loves it. Even a thing we played, which wasn't even academically a game, I don't think, but we were on the beach and i found some like like a like some a mix of shells and rocks and some some brick that i just happened to find yeah and and they weren't even like nice shells you would be so disappointed with the quality of rocks that i that i had but i just like laid them out like hey look at this look at these rocks and she was like i'll help you find more and she's just like very diligently fulfilling this impossible assignment of just like things that that please uncle and he's like look here's another shell i'm like oh yeah definitely put that shell with those other shells oh that oh

that rock is great what is that like black ah tight put it over here in this pile and just like doing that for minutes and minutes and minutes just uh after a lot of games that involve picking up and throwing kids it was great to be like yeah this is good this in in this game you were the happiest easiest person to work with in the world and i'm your foreman i guess and you bring me the rocks and treats that's the when kids are like the fun for the kid is being helpful. There's nothing better. Oh my God.

When they're into the game of like being, being helpful is like, as long as they're not being bossy, oh, it's the best. I went to Target with my children

and as a policy, my wife and I never try to go anywhere alone with our two children where we have to get some shit done. And occasionally it happens just because of circumstances.

But like, I took both of them to Target to do some shopping and they both got in the cart. And I know how this game goes. I know that like what's going to happen is eventually Ronan's going to want to get out because he sees something cool and it doesn't have to be the toy section. It's like he sees a lamp and he's like,

yes, I need to touch it. And then Gilly will want to get out too. And so what I do is I try and like come up with reasons for them to stay in the cart. And this time I was like, Ronan, will you just try and help me get Gilly to stay in the cart? And he was like, yes. Like the power I gave him in his eyes. It was just like glistening. And so they did this thing where they were scratching each other's, but they take turns scratching each other's backs in the cart.

And it's like, they take up all the room. So I had to cram everything underneath, but it was such, it was just worth it because the entire half an hour that I was in this target, both my children were just quiet, scratching one another's backs. And then be like, okay, my turn. And not like trying to take too much of a turn. Nobody's getting greedy. It was all fair.

It was like, they just, they were awesome. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, whatever you want now, I reward you. Like this is whatever you should do this forever. Whatever I can do to give you right, whatever I can give you right now that ensures that you think this is good behavior, do it. Right. And a quick question for you, Soren. Yeah, go ahead. You're taking a trip today? Yeah. Is it a vacation trip? We're going to see Ronan's cousins.

Oh, fun, fun, fun. Yeah. So these are like, they're all grouped in a very tight age range where he's in the middle. His two cousins are on either side of him. And the two cousins, obviously, they're brother and sister. they're so close in age that they fight all the time. But Ronan becomes the glue in that situation where Ronan gets in there and like, it's a whole new kid. And suddenly you see your sibling in a new light and they just have so much fun together. It's great. Yeah. Um, so my question is about travel and vacations, because I famously was just in Costa Rica, and as we were wrapping up that trip to make the sting of leaving it feel a little bit not as bad,

we went back and forth asking each other what things about home you miss. What surprising things are you most excited to get back to when you're on vacation? That's a good idea. Yeah. It was both like a good thing for us as we're driving the three hours to the airport and also like illuminating for me to really think about

because my answers were, like obviously there's like family and house stuff and just like comfortable settings, but I was most surprised that i was like i want i i miss my disgusting gym and all the horrible people in it i want i want to go to my gym again and work out where they spit on the floors and my other answer was i miss the horrible fucking salads that i make for myself every day for lunch i think part of it is routine and part of it is like we weren't being unhealthy in costa rica or anything like that but i wasn't eating salad anywhere right i was like i want i wanted to sit and eat one of my stupid salads

that i that i hate making and and then i want to i want to go to the gym which is a place that i know i feel better after I go there. And it's like a thing that is so baked into my routine at this point. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have a lot of memories like that where I'm in a foreign country and like what I miss the most. And it is all frequently surprising. The main one is always turkey sandwiches.

Like that anywhere else I go in the world they just haven't solved that riddle yet they don't understand how to make like a really good sub and there's so that's so i realized what a staple that is in my life that like i know where the best sandwich shops are around me at any given time because i like sandwiches so much and when they can't have a turkey sandwich for a week or a month or whatever it's like fuck i really fucking miss that shit um the other one is is peanut butter i didn't realize how much peanut butter i actually eat until i would go abroad and so like in especially in europe um england they've got it but if you go through like france and spain and italy they don't eat peanut butter any of those places it's like if you wanted to find peanut butter sometimes they have it in a grocery store and it's in the protein aisle it's in like

with the meats it's like a meat substitute and for people who don't have teeth and so yeah nobody's just eating it recreationally there it's like that's a chore and right is that because is that an america's bad thing because peanut butter is unethical to produce i don't know that that's why it didn't catch on in europe i don't think that that's probably the reason because but at this point there's obviously ways to do that you can uh there's different like oils you can use that are fine, but it is weird that they just don't, it never caught fire anywhere else. And in fact, I had peanut butter. I'd found some when I was in Spain, ate it, and then ran out of money when I was in Italy and was

just eating peanut butter for a while. And then when I got back to the channel, which is like the, where you go from Paris to England, there was a homeless guy in the channel and he was just in the station he was like asking for money and i was like dude i i promise i don't have any money but i can i have like a a quarter of a jar of peanut butter and he like it was like this man was about to cry he was like i haven't had peanut butter forever i was like this man was about to cry. He was like, I haven't had peanut butter forever. I was like, me too. So I gave him my peanut butter. But that's one.

And then just having television that I understand, like it's not a chore to understand because it's how I really recharge. Even if it's news, it doesn't matter what it is. I need to just watch something and it just wash over me. And I don't have to work to understand what's going on. Right. I'm going to have my morning coffee and I'm going to watch Jeopardy on DVR, including the local commercials. That's part of it yeah exactly oh man local commercials even now i'm missing local commercials i remember one of the times we went to montreal for just for laughs uh getting on the plane home and like the whole plane ride home michael swaim our friend was so tense and i didn't know

if it was a flying thing and i talked to him about it afterwards and it's because there were still people either behind or across from him who because this is this is montreal they were they were speaking french they were talking to each other in french the entire time because they speak french in montreal and michael was just at his wits end where this will sound more xenophobic than than it was or i think he intended it to be but he got off the plane he was talking about he was like i can't hear it anymore we were we left we were going back to america and just like just the the idea of hearing another language which which is like, no, I did four days of this and then we're done. Now I'm on a plane and I need everyone to sound like I sound.

Yeah. I understand that impulse. The minute you get on a plane and like the flight attendant is speaking in a language that you understand, you're like, oh my God, I'm going home. Oh my God, I'm going home. Yeah, once I got off the plane from Costa Rica and I saw a guy at customs and I said, hola, and he was like, what are you, a fucking asshole? I was like, oh, that's right. That's right. Back home now.

Certainly in Jersey. What a terrible place to say hola to somebody. Speaking of Jersey and Costa Rica, I then we could probably wrap this up we were in costa rica and exploring some waterfalls and we came upon uh this foursome a group of people four of them and i had my phone in a waterproof lanyard around my neck. And we came upon this group. And I said, hola, because I was saying that to everybody, because you don't want to assume. And I said, hola. And this girl looks at the lanyard. She goes, that's so fucking smart.

Where'd you get that? Is your hotel give that to you, or you bring that from home? And it took all of my self-control to not say, what part of New Jersey are you from? Because it was just like an immediate, instant reaction. And they're from Long Island. So it was just like an immediate instant reaction and they're from long island so it was close enough uh yeah i mean just like and like you're like the camaraderie you feel with yeah the minute it's very fun like overhearing people where someone's like yo is that is that

water cold nah fuck no i'm like hey are we cousins being in a foreign country and even seeing somebody with a shirt that says like a shirt you get on a boardwalk it's like a squirrel that says protect your nuts and he's just like a squirrel with a stick with some acorns behind him you're like haha what do we used to hang out in Ocean City do I know you from my childhood well that about wraps it up for this episode i know you got a plane to catch

very excited for you uh the show is quick question but you knew that already we are recorded edited and produced by the irreplaceable gabe harter but this week he was replaced by jacob jacob uh as i recall jacob does does not want you to find him on social, so I will not include that information. Our theme song is by the incredible Merex. Their digital album is available at merex.bandcamp.com. You can find us on Twitter as a show at QQ underscore Soren and Dan or me at DOB underscore INC. Soren at Soren underscore LTD.

You can email the show QQ with Soren and Daniel at Gmail. And you can find us on patreon where you can support and we will answer questions from you the listeners once a month yeah that sounds right something like that yeah i genuinely don't know we just do it so we do it we're told to do it yeah we are not in charge here and i don't know if the the mask has slipped at this point but dan and i are not in charge it's really i would say the person who most effectively manages this podcast is gabe harter our engineer who's impossible like this doesn't get recorded and i don't even just mean like because he knows how the equipment works we will not schedule a recording soren and i left to our own devices we just won't do it

we know we have to do it every week or every two weeks but we just like we both sit quietly letting time go by thinking like maybe maybe we can all if no one says anything maybe we can all pretend we forgot and it's no one's fault and then thursday will roll around and gabe will be like guys do you need to record an episode of the show and we're like yes oh thank you why did you tell the teacher about the homework game oh shout out to gabe thanks for for running our business I guess yeah alright bye

bye I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When will I be remembered? Was it Edward? Were it Oliver? Who do we know? Oh forget it

I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here.