Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Why is Hollywood Lying About Pajamas?

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

The guys investigate sleep-adjacent media tropes, from impossibly matching pajama sets to pointlessly long nightcaps. Plus, why “what were you smoking?” is the least favorite question of writers around the world and an answer to one of life’s most enduring questions– who is Normal Al?Follow the guys on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social/https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social Thanks to RocketMoney! RocketMoney.com/qq. Reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Thanks to Factor! FACTORMEALS.com/qq50off and use code qq50off for 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

Listen, America, this is a quick question. Stop making your sleep hats so long, please. They don't need to be. Make them short and point important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What will I be if you remember? What's your answer? What did I do? What are we going on? Oh forget it! I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast with long answers.

I am one half of the podcast senior writer for last week tonight with John Oliver, and I am the author of How to Fight Presidents. Joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Buie. Soren, say hello. Hello, everybody. I'm Soren Buie. I'm a writer for American Dad. And I have a question right off the bat for you here, Daniel.

And I don't want you to take this the wrong way. Are you still sick? I think I am either still sick or again sick. Okay. I really can't tell. Everyone- Your sickness has rebounded. It's- Yeah, I started to get sick on January 6th at around two o'clock in the morning. And got very sick.

I was on this podcast with day three of a three day fever. And everyone that I talked to as I was trying to recover, they had all said something like, oh yeah, I had the same thing. I was sick for a month or I was sick for three weeks or yes, I am still sick from Christmas. And I was like, that's not gonna be me. And I did everything that I was supposed to do to recover.

And then I didn't, I don't believe I was ever 100%. And I think that I just let work and the move muscle me over a couple of different goal lines. You powered through. If I really had to like sit down and analyze what's going on, I don't, it's possible I never recovered. Because you've got, first of all, this is you usually come a little bit more dressed up to this. I will say, like you're, I like your hair a lot. You wear disheveled well, I'll say. Thank you. Like, yeah, you it's a good look for you. Like some people aren't good at it. Like, it's like, it's got its own vibe for you. Some people aren't good at it, but it's got its own vibe for you. Can I tell you, and this is a pure vanity move and also un-listenable for our audio-only

audience members, but I don't want to make our sound engineer feel self-conscious, but when I came on the podcast, he said, I look like a young Harry Potter, which I take as a compliment. Even though Harry Potter is a child, he was conveying that I had a youthful glow, and I'm wearing these, my dark-rimmed glasses today. You are talking about how I'm not dressed up enough, and I'm disheveled.

And even you are complimenting that I wear disheveled well. This morning, I put these glasses on, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I genuinely thought, well, that's Clark Kent right there. That's a secret stud. I've since been disabused of that idea. I didn't clock the glasses. The glasses I didn't even clock. Your hair is different than normal. You've been experimenting with different hair for a while now.

Like for your wedding, you didn't know what to do. I'd see you get on the podcast and immediately do like a, well, I'm going to fix that and do kind of like a little comb over. Right now you've just kind of like got it. You've let it run untamed. You've got a bunch of free radicals up there doing whatever they want. And it looks good, man. Thank you.

I do think I need to start for my own, you know, I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it.

I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to of free radicals up there doing whatever they want. And it looks good, man. Thank you. I do think I need to start for my own mental health treating weekdays and workdays like proper workdays. I let too many, I guess we're working from home,

too many days go by where it's the same sweatpants or athleisure pants and hoodie. And I will like shower and brush my hair on the rare times that we go out to dinner or that I'm meeting someone in my family and it's like, oh, I should probably do this more often. Most people do this more often, but I've just been getting away with it.

I mean, ever since COVID, I've really lapsed in that department. The other day I went to work and I'm running a room because we're working on my story. And on my way to work, I was like, I think you forgot deodorant, dude. And checked and I was like, yeah, complete blind spot that day.

Just like did all my routine. And then was like, nah, not blind spot that day. Just like did all my routine and then was like, nah, not that thing. Not that thing I do every day. So I got to work and a dress hung a lantern on it immediately. I was like, hey, listen, this is a tight room. I'm gonna let you all know that I forgot deodorant today. So if you smell me at all, please let me know and we will stop this right now.

I'm already noticing something that I need to fix about my new wonderful home, which is that we have, we have floors. So the floor I'm on now is the second floor. And that's where the master bedroom and bathroom are. And that's where my deodorant lives. And so when I leave to start my day and I put on the coffee, if I haven't put on the deodorant as part of my morning

routine in the master bathroom, I don't know when it's getting done. I need to start hiding deodorant in like different places in my life because I'm not going to go upstairs just to put deodorant on. My big problem is that I will take my kids to school and I'll like walk my son to school or drive my daughter and then I'm coming right back home. So I'm not even wearing the outfit that's playing for that day. I'm just grabbing whatever's in the drawer and being like, well, this is just my dropping off outfit. And then I'm not going to waste deodorant on a shirt. I'm not wearing the rest of the day. That's a huge mistake.

Yeah. And so I'm like, I'm not going to be wearing the shirt long enough, A, that it will start to stink B that, that like, it doesn't deserve this. This is a shit shirt. And then when I get back and I put on the actual clothes that I want to wear, I'm like, well, I already did all my morning routine. I'm done. I'm out the door.

And yeah, it was a real problem. I put a lot of faith in the idea that once I'm out in the world, that like, nature has done some kind of work to prepare me for, for the world. And it just doesn't like I will. Two days a week, my wife takes a ferry into the city for work, and I will drive her to the ferry. And if I'm really on top of my game, I get dressed for the gym and prepared for the gym, brush teeth, deodorant the whole nine yards, drop her off, go to the gym, start my day excellently.

Not always though. Sometimes I will just put on whatever is nearest to me because I figure I'm just taking my wife to the ferry. And then something happens after I drop her off and I realize, oh, I should really go to the grocery store and pick up XYZ or I need to go to the post office, whatever it is. And then I'm out in the world, not brush teeth, not deodorant, and not in an outfit that like was ever meant for people to consume.

Yeah. I've not met for public consumption. Yeah, I know that feeling. It's awful. It's like worse than the dreams you'd have where you showed up to school in your underwear. At least that feels like a plan. Like, I go and move.

And like if all the kids see you in your underwear, it's like, you all understand, this is a terrible cosmic accident. There was a spell cast on me or something. And check in with your own heart, you all know what this feels like. If I'm in the grocery store. You all know what this feels like. If I'm in the grocery store looking like shit, I can't explain to anyone like, by the way,

I'm not actually like this. I'm not, I know I stink and I look terrible and I'm wearing sweatpants that have like horrible bleach stains on them and paint stains. You're wrong. I'm not actually doing this. I don't look like this. I am actually a really pretty girl under all this.

And the boy, the prom king is gonna figure it out as soon as he takes my glasses off and brushes my teeth for me. Listen, postal employee, I am either Clark Kent, Harry Potter, or a fucking disheveled stud, all right? Don't base your opinions solely on what you see and smell with your own senses.

Just like, think logically. Hey, you're busy every single day. Every single day. Man, that's a long outlook now. When you think about that and like the rest of your life, tough. Hey, but you know what? You know what doesn't have to be tough

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on your first box. Daniel, I want to start the show. I have a very specific question that I want to ask you and I want to get into it. Quick question. Shoot. Now that you're in a committed relationship, I would hope. I want to know when you go to bed, what is your go-to like sleeping position now?

Has it changed since you've been in a relationship? Yes. It's snuggly. I don't know another way to say it. Yeah, yeah, we're big, we're big snugglers. And so much that like if I am in a hotel traveling for something and my wife is not there or she is out late with the work thing and I we go to sleep separately, it's it's very difficult. And it's not uncommon to find me woken up in the middle of the night,

having cuddled up to a pillow in lieu of my wife. Right, right. Because I'm so used to it. But it took a while. To get used to that. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you a snorer?

Sometimes. Okay, so here's the situation that I find myself in. I have one position that I'm essentially allowed to sleep in. And that's for the good of everyone in the house. I'm a snorer and have been my entire life since I was a child. It was a joke early on in my family and then not funny when we would go on vacation and stuff when my family was like, we got to figure something out because none of us are sleeping. And I can sleep on my left side and not snore. And that's pretty much the only position.

So like I get into bed each night and I sort of like flirt with the idea that I'm the type of person who could sleep on his back for a little while, like just feel that out. And then I move over to the right side and I kind of feel that and I'm like, oh, what if I was naughty tonight and I slept on my right side?

But eventually I will move over to my left side. Like I snore to the point where I've woken myself up from snoring and been like, whoa, okay. And then I will move on to that left side. In the middle of the night, frequently, Colleen will just say soaring. And I know that even I won't even really wake up. I just move over to that side and the snoring stops.

But I was thinking like there are certain positions that I lost along the way that I used to love. Like sleeping on my stomach when I was in college or like younger, I slept, I would kick the pillow out of the way and I would sleep on my stomach frequently. And it was such a nice feeling. I haven't slept on my stomach in probably like two decades.

Where was the pillow? I would not kick it. I not kick it. It's under my head, but I don't like it when I'm on my stomach in probably like two decades. Where was the pillow? I would not kick it. I'm not kicking it. It's under my head, but I don't like it when I'm on my stomach. I want my whole body flat, basically. So I'm just pushing it away. And then like head to one side, you know,

like I just fell out of a building and then my whole body flat. And I used to love sleeping like that. I haven't done that in two decades. Even when I'm not with my wife, or like I'm in a hotel room, there's no way I'm sleeping on my stomach anymore. I'm an like that. I haven't done that in two decades. Even when I'm not with my wife, or like I'm in a hotel room, there's no way I'm sleeping on my stomach anymore. I'm an adult man.

Yeah. I do on my own move around a lot. I will switch positions several times throughout the night and probably still do it now and don't realize it because usually starts snuggling and wake up snuggling. It's very- Are you guys face to face in your snuggle? Sometimes. But that's, then you're breathing in each other's faces.

Yeah. I can't do that. We're newlyweds, sorry. Yeah. It's all still very nice for us. You know, what's about to happen that night because you walked around the world without brushed teeth and been very self-conscious about it throughout the night, something terrible happens in your mouth. And if you're just face to face with somebody,

it's happening in theirs as well. And now I wouldn't be able to sleep that way because I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like I'm going to try to breathe out of my nose exclusively, but I don't know what's going to happen when I fall asleep. I'm no longer in charge of this big meat behind, this big meat sack. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I mean, we maybe we'll set up a camera and see what we do in the night. It's certainly adjustment when she first started sleeping over, we would snuggle and I would be like

the most awake anyone has ever been snuggling for a while. And then I would just declare, OK, good night. And I would roll over and be on my side and occupy my own half of the bed and just like, now I can do some real sleeping. All that pretend sleep didn't count. Now I'm going to actually sleep. And we are on complete separate sides of the bed.

That has evolved to this new blob that we are that is just very connected most, if not all, the night in some way. Yeah, I understand. I mean, I didn't do that when I was newlywed, but I had also been dating my wife for 11 years and we'd met in college. So we'd slept in a twin for a very long time together. And like a twin is not enough space for two humans at all. It's barely enough room for a space for one human. And so you had to sleep really like, you're full, like everything's touching, torso is like glued together basically,

so that you even fit. And I think once we were liberated from that, once we had even queens, we were like, okay, we're never touching each other again when we're going to sleep. And how like liberating that was to not be up against somebody else while you were trying to sleep. I will say Dan, I now take a pillow

because I have a weird thing where I feel like my chest folds in on itself. If I'm not on my side, I don't have a pillow there that I'm holding onto that's sort of like keeping my top shoulder up. I feel like the whole system folds in on itself and that's not very comfortable. So I do sleep with a pillow,

cuddled up to me as though we were human. But I mean, here's the thing, if you're in a snuggle, you've got that other arm that's got no job and in fact is a real problem. You can put it under them somehow. You put it under their head, but then that's uncomfortable for them.

Yeah, I've done that and you wake up in pain in the middle of the night because your arm fell asleep and it's dead. And then you shuffle and it just... Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think you wanted this to be a more fruitful question on my end. No, actually, I haven't even gotten to the real part of why I asked it yet. Okay.

The only other thing I would add before you get into the meat of this is I wanted to ask you if you or your wife ever get like jerky spasms as you're falling asleep. I've hit my wife so many times in the face, in the chest, all over the place because my arms will just fly out. It's such a fun, um, like canary in the coal mine of going to sleep of just, just you're, you're up and you're chatting, you're watching something and then suddenly I'll get kicked and be like, Oh, you're falling asleep right now. And you can't lie to me because the body tells the truth. And I appreciate that.

And I bring it up just only because last night, her arm was draped around my head and had her hand on my face and mostly my ear. And several times, the spasms manifested in her hand, nearly ripping my, just clutching my ear and pulling. And then she would unconsciously bring her hand back and do it again a little bit later. Yeah, it's, you're not in control. It's just not you. Or maybe it's the true you. I don't know. But I will regularly slap my wife in my sleep. And she's like, she'll wake up, she'll be like, you just hit me. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I don't know. And when she was a,

because I lift, you know, and I think that it has something to do with like those muscles, just like tightening and contracting, contracting and releasing. Because when she used to run a lot, she was a cross country runner. And when we were in college, sleeping in those tiny beds, I would get the shit kicked out of me. She would kick me so much in the middle of the night, just like it felt like somebody really reared back and was like, ha, give me a kick. And I was like, what are you, stop it.

What is the matter with you? So yeah, we beat each other up in that night. Okay. So here's the other, the main reason I'm asking is as I was thinking about that, I'm lying in bed at night, trying to like see what it would be like to be somebody who slept on their backs and just being like very tickled by the idea that I could be that someday. I started thinking about the way that people sleep in movies and television says so much about them. What a shorthand that is. When you come into a bedroom and you find your main character asleep, if they're going to be on their stomach, that is a person who doesn't have their life together. That is a person or a person who went out hard. In major league, in any of these movies where you come up on a phone ringing or whatever

and somebody's on their stomach, that person, they got to get it together. Things are not going well for them. If they do have themselves together, then whatever happened last night was what made them not have their life together. So it automatically means you're a slob, like you fucked up. Whereas anyone who sleeps directly on their back in movies and television, so regularly, they are too buttoned up, they're square. Anyone who's got their hands on their chest, like Nosferatu, lying on their chest, like Nosferatu, with all lying on their back, that person by the end.

That's a Nosferatu for sure, 100% of the time. By the end of that person. That's what we've been, so I haven't studied movies for a long time. We used to write about them critically for a pop culture site. And so we know these things, you just gotta trust us. If someone's sleeping like a Nosferatu. It's a Nosferatu.

You might be Nosferatu. It's a Nosferatu. You might be a Nosferatu. By the end, like that person's going to figure out that they are, they've been too anal about everything. Like that's the person who's got to get it together. The last one is sleeping on a side and facing each other, like you, I assume, do, that only happens at the very end when the love actually works out. Yeah. Or I'm hard pressed to think of a time in a movie when it does happen early on in the

story. Even if it's a couple that's been together for a while and you want to establish that they will continue to be together, they're both sleeping in one direction. They're both on their sides. We don't do it. We don't do two people facing each other unless it's the very end. It's like, hey, oh, that's real love. Okay, I get it. They'll sleep facing one another.

But it was strange to discover. You can snuggle and not face each other. That's true. I think spooning is sort of like this, that's sort of like the freestyle. Like that can be anything. I think about like Fargo and stuff like that. Like you can get away with spooning in a movie

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even a character thing. It's not even just like, yeah, Sarah Jessica Parker in the first act of the family stone wears the button up pajamas and then ditches them by the end of the movie. That's like anybody in movies and TV shows wears a matching up and down pajama two set that I have never seen anyone wear in my life.

I have never owned them. I've never wanted to own them. I've never seen the utility in having a matching button-up pajama bottom and top set. It seems like a strange thing that movies are still trying to tell us that people somewhere do. I don't know why. I guess it's because, like, I feel like when I was watching

Everybody Loves Raymond, a perfect show, they did nighttime in such a realistic way to me, even then as I was watching it in like high school, because Ray and Deborah would get ready for bed and he would just take his pants off and just be in boxers and a t-shirt and she would be in whatever sleeping shit she is. They get in bed and she does something with lotion

on her arms for 45 minutes. I'm like, yes, this is what bedtime is like. Why is everyone lying to me? It is, it's big button. It's gotta be a big button. The big button's like, hey, you know, there's another use for buttons that you're not using them for.

We want you to know it's cool to sleep in buttons. I wonder if it's if it's costume designers sometimes. Costume designers are professional crafts people and we like professional crafts people in the world, whatever. But when we were doing lots of sketches, there's certainly every wardrobe person is taking their job seriously and trying to figure out like, how can I make this look good? How can I say something with costume choices? And I wonder if that is why we have matching pajama sets for most characters in movies and TV is because a costume designer is like, well, I can't the realistic thing for this man to wear in this bedroom scene is boxer briefs and nothing. And I don't want to do that. Or you don't want to put your, your, your lady

protagonist in a sleep shirt where like a boob might fall out in the middle of a scene, even though that's a slightly more realistic thing that someone would wear to bed. So the costume designer is like, well, it's boring if they're just like in the Ray Romano boxers and t-shirt thing. So let's give them a full fucking silk pajama set that doesn't make sense

for this character's economic position. No. Also, that I mean, we're really focused on the shirts here because the shirt also has a collar, which is like another thing that's like what an insane thing to sleep in. You are head first crazy if you're sleeping in a collar. I won't even wear a collar generally in my ordinary life because it's like, get off of me. But I'm constantly thinking that I'm getting bit or strangled. Though the thing that we haven't even addressed is that the pants, they're a one step closer to comfort than slacks. Basically, there's nothing redeeming about the pants either. There's no stretch to them generally. And if you do get the stripy match sets, those are like, that's a

kind of more of a form fitting pants. It's not huge baggy or anything like that. And the bottom is not cinched. So it's not staying in place. And as you move around your sleep, like you got one leg that's like the pushed all the way up to your thigh. And who knows what the other one's doing there. It's, it's, it's a terrible idea to even try and sleep in those. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how pajamas have managed it this long, how they've stuck around as long as they have. Maybe it's also because I don't live in a cold climate. I'm trying to think as a child.

No, as a child, I didn't even sleep in that stuff. I slept in normal pajamas for kids, which you wouldn't put buttons and collars on because what an insane thing to do. No, I slept in like, uh, footy pajamas, which were fun. That was more novelty than anything else. And then we were like fully sleep shirt kids. It was like a giant Sonic the Hedgehog 2 double XL shirt that went down to your knees that you would wear like a Victorian nightgown. By the way, that was the night before Christmas

nightgown type of thing. That's something we should bring back. Yeah, that sounds pretty good. It's a ideal system. You're wearing a dress to bed. And it's like a long sleeve dress that- So much air. Yeah, well, so many options.

Like you can, if you're cold, you just cuddle up, you snug, you flip those feet up inside of it, make yourself a big ball, and you've got basically extra blankets on you. But with a lot of like room to move around. And you're too hot, you just slip one of those legs down, let it be exposed to the open air and you're good. I think wearing a dress to bed is my ideal scenario.

You can put that on my tombstone. Yeah, everyone will want an explanation why the intolerant townspeople murdered you. You want to wear a dress to bed every night. Both of you wearing a dress. I mean, I think that sounds awesome. Yeah. I don't know.

How do we get away from like-outs? You would insist that your wife also wore a dress to bed. Well, they have to match. We go to bed matching for us. It's not matching pajamas. There's something very fun and charming of a guy being like, I'd like to start wearing a dress to bed

and something like very sinister about telling your wife you must wear a dress to bed. You also must do this. Or you're not allowed in the bed. If we are visited by nighttime spirits, I don't want to be embarrassed by your legs. Yeah. I'm gonna stop short of the nightcap want to be embarrassed by her legs. Yeah.

I'm gonna stop short of the nightcap because I don't totally understand the purpose of that. No, it wasn't even in my mind's eye thinking of Ebenezer Scrooge and his nightcap. I can't even justify it keeping you warm because it doesn't go down to the ears. No. And I know you're retaining some heat from the top of your head,

but even with that cloth napkin, how much heat could you be retaining? And even, yeah. And let's say that that's like your goal. Why does it have to have that long cone on it? What's that doing for anybody? It doesn't have to be so long because surely that's just getting in the way too.

It doesn't have to be so long, folks. The people. Listen, America, this is a quick question. Stop making your sleep hats so long, please. They don't need to be. Make them short and pointy. 1793. If you're living in 1793, please stop making them so long. You don't need them.

Hmm. Maybe I'll if I could get a time machine, that will be one of my stops. I'll write that down. Maybe not the first, but it's going to be one of them. Just going to introduce them to the jail cap. I'm curious now and will forever be curious because your last episode of America Dad, which is very funny, has a few Easter eggs for jokes that you have made in the past that have been part of our lives. So now it seems like anytime something stupid comes up on this show, on our show, quick question, it's a race to see which one of us will sneak its way into one of our television shows. Yeah. You wrote me a text at one point and you're like,

hey, I'm pretty sure I just used a joke that I've heard you say. Yeah. Is that okay? I was like, yeah, that's all we do. You're just pulling stuff from your life and being like, yeah. Yeah. It was a joke and the phrasing of a joke that I've only ever heard you say. I put it into a script thing like, this is such a funny phrase, it must be pretty common. And then I Googled it, it was like,

oh no, this is just like fully an original Soren. And now it's a John Oliver. I'm curious, what, do you remember what the stuff was in the episode? That. That was you? Yeah. I think John referring to himself saying

that he's aging like a- No, no, no, sorry. No, no, I meant the other way. The other, the episode that was in my episode that were, it was like stuff that I had pulled from my everyday life that you saw in my episode. I think just the idea of people wanting to drink lots of Gatorade, just like the episode started and people were demanding a ton of Gatorade.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It crucially wasn't Bullock, unfortunately, but it was the rest of the cast. There was a something I had put in a previous episode where anytime somebody says like, where do you get your insane ideas? Like, where do these ideas come from? My favorite thing to always say was my spectacular imagination, which was such a shitty but funny answer. Because how else do you answer that question? Yeah. And so that's my least favorite question I've ever gotten as a comedy writer.

Somebody does ask Roger that. And so Roger steals a joke from Klaus. And then everyone's like, when Klaus says it earlier, nobody laughs. But when Roger says it, everybody is like, yes, where do you get up? Where do you come up with these? And he's like, my spectacular imagination. And I was like, surely people will clue into that. That's the thing I would say all the time at conventions, because you get the same question always. I don't think I've heard you say that.

Oh, really? Yeah, when we used to go to Calgary and stuff. And that was always the question, right? It's like, well, where do you guys come up with the ideas for After Hours? Well, it's, it's, the question is usually even worse than that. The question will, because whether it was After Hours where we're, we're trying to come up with a pop culture theory that hasn't been thought of before, some like, like galaxy brained expanded universe thing, or

one of our sketches that had like a high concept, silly premise. The question is usually, what were you smoking when you came up with that? Or what sort of drugs were you on? Because people who ask questions at conventions think they are part of the show and that the question they ask needs to be funny and get some kind of response. And I understand that. We're all having fun and we're all people. Everyone's allowed to make jokes.

I, to unpack it, any version of the question, what were you smoking or what drugs were you on when you came up with that, inevitably has an uninteresting answer. There's no, you will either get someone who is like, oh, drugs. Or you'll get someone who is like, ha, nothing. I came up with that because I've been studying writing

for a very long time and the assignment was to come up with something surprising. And I don't know to tell you, I'm very good at this. That's why my ideas seem like they couldn't have come from a person and they had to have come from a drug. Is that satisfying? If I, I would say, I wish I could come up with great ideas when I was on drugs. I wish that I could write Kumbakon. Like I would be encouraged by like, wake up from a fucking opium dream and be like, ah, I have a whole poem to write about fire and ice. Yeah, that would be so much less stressed if it was like, oh, every time I do this drug,

I write a book. No, I write books for 10 months of research and driving myself and my partner crazy. In fact, I would say that when I do do drugs, I'm really bowing out from any sort of like, being able to even hold a conversation. I mean, for the next day too, my brain just does not work as fast. Yeah. Slow or I'm not getting, I'm not fun. When I'm doing drugs, I'm not fun to be around. That's clearly just for me. All right. So I don't want to completely switch gears here and ask you a question I've been thinking about for a while.

A quick question. If you don't mind. Shoot. We're gonna figure it out today. You and I put some coffee on the pot. So you know Weird Al Yankovic? Familiar. He's Weird Al.

He's got his wine charts. He plays accordion. He's got very long hair. He sings silly versions of normal songs. Top to bottom, weird stuff. You would agree, he's Weird Al. Soren, who's normal Al? Who's normal Al?

All right, are we gonna decide? It's a surprisingly difficult question. We're gonna decide who's normal Al. Okay. I think that the one abnormal thing is, it does have to be a famous person because we can't just say like my neighbor Al or whatever. You got to think who's normal Al.

And it has to be somebody so- Al Moore was in my mind for a while, but like, I don't know. Vice president's pretty abnormal. He's pretty, there's some weird stuff. He's had a weird life. Can't say he's the most normal Al. I like this question. But like the idea of a guy wearing a suit

and writing books about climate change, all of that is very normal Al stuff. It's just the vice president and run for president that is like, ah, now. There's one I have in mind, but it's also because I probably have a lot of blind spots about this guy. I think that in general, I know just enough about him.

I have like maybe the same finger on the pulse as everybody else in the nation where it's just like, he's completely. Boring. This is Al Roker. Oh, I don't know if he's anything exciting. If he's it if old Alice has also become a little weird. But in general, he seems like such and part of his success, I think is that he is so benign.

That's what I'm thinking that like the fact that he has persisted across decades, and hasn't had like a terrible scandal or hasn't had like someone coming out and being like, hey, this isn't illegal, but it's it's sure is fucked up. None of that. He has just still been allowed and not only that he's still been around, but he has not really pivoted. He is still Al Roker, the weatherman. He's still on the Today Show

every morning, teeing up what the weather looks like in your neck of the woods. And, and it seems pretty fine doing it. Seems pretty like content. No ambition. I, you think about, uh, you've seen him, you've seen him on television, you see the way he does everything. You think about, you've seen him, you've seen him on television, you see the way he does everything. Does he strike you as someone who's abnormally talented either? Like somebody who's like, oh, no, there's a guy who's got like, he's got, he was born with something. I don't think so either.

I think I could do Al Roker's job. I think 100% you could. Here's the other thing about Al Roker that I think puts him in the normal category, even though it's a pretty remarkable Hollywood story. When Conan was filming his show in New York, any time a celebrity guest dropped out at the last minute, he would call Al Roker and Al Roker would be there. And that was like, not not only just a testament to Al's availability, but the faith and trust that Conan and his talent broker would have that was like, fuck, he dropped out. Five minutes.

Who can we get? And we know there's not going to be any surprises. They're going to deliver a reliably good interview and it's pleasant to be around. Al Roker, yes, give him a call. He's here, amazing. Have him come upstairs. I didn't know that way.

So Al Roker would come up. Was he engaging on the show? I don't know. I heard the story and I was trying to rack my brain for like any memorable Al Roker Conan moments. And none came to mind. I'm sure he could look them up. None came to mind probably because when I was younger

and watching Conan every night, it was like, my next guest Al Roker, I'd be like, all right, what else can I, I can skip this. I don't need to see Al Roker on Conan. Yeah, I mean, what are his stories even? I can't imagine, I only think that I would be reaffirmed in my belief if I saw him actually on Conan. He's not gonna, he doesn't have like stories about getting attacked in New York and stuff like that.

Or that he did something crazy in Ibiza. Like we're not getting that from Al Roker. So I- Al Roker didn't break up a fight on the streets. And I also think it's very normal that he is a guy who's constantly struggling with his weight. It's just like he's bouncing around a little bit. He's like, I'd like to be better. Every once in a while I do look the way I want to look. And occasionally that I slip and that's just who I am.

I'm normal Al. What are you going to do? Man, I think that's a great answer. When you mentioned it, it does have me pivot to... Go ahead. Go ahead. I was going to say something else. Makes me think of another quick question to explore. If you had a talk show and you knew there was a possibility that a guest would drop out, who is your Al Roker? Who is your go-to? Oh, great. This is perfect. I have one in mind already.

We were watching Kimmel the other day and someone that they were supposed to get dropped out at last minute and they were talking about this on the show. It was like, and so we got on Jeremy Strong. Thank you so much for filling in at the last minute. You're a hero for doing this. That is such the wrong fucking choice. I love Jeremy Strong. I think he's very talented. I think he's like, obviously he makes great interview fodder because people are intrigued by how specifically weird he is and serious. Yeah. But as like an interview guest, he's terrible. He is as a television interview guest, he's terrible.

Print, great. On TV, he is just dressed in head to toe brown. He's looking at the floor. He doesn't have the most charming anecdotes. He's not interested the floor. He doesn't have the most charming anecdotes. He's not interested in getting the laugh or going for an engaging story. He is just a lot of dead air. Well, he doesn't want to be... He doesn't have any interest in being seen in any particular way.

He doesn't go in there with like, I know that this story is self-deprecating and that's helpful because it will ingratiate me to the audience. He does not give a shit about that kind of stuff. He's like, oh no, this is who I am. I'm very comfortable in who I am. And if you like it, great. If it's not for you, sorry, not this time. Which is a crazy thing to be in an interview show. Yeah. Okay, I have an answer in mind. Oh boy. I did not realize that my person was dead. So I don't think now probably would make a very good interview subject.

Sure. Is it Kissinger? It is, it's Kissinger. How did you know that? This is somebody who- Because he comes to mind when I think about someone that, for the last decade of my life, it's never been clear if he's alive or dead.

That's a reliable Google for me. There's somebody, Adam Ganzer, who was from Cracked. He was a director on Cracked and a writer for Cracked. He clued me into the way that Charles Grodin would handle interviews on David Letterman. Charles Groden, every time he went on David Letterman, it was the funniest thing in the world because he came on with a real fucking attitude every time he would come on, he would be barely civil to Dave. And he was, it was, I mean, it's clearly all bit that Dave was in on,

but it was like, he came on with a whole thing plan. This will be entertaining. This will be fun for everyone. Same way like Will Ferrell comes on shows where he's like, he'll go on Fallon even, and he'll be like, I'm going to bring on a bunch of Christmas, like a little Christmas display diorama. But in mind, it's a werewolf town.

You're not going to get that joke for the next six minutes, but by the end, you'll realize that this is a werewolf town. Like come on with a plan. Not just one story, a whole plan. And Charles Grodin used to do that. And I think Charles Grodin was that for Dave. Where like, he would just be somebody who like, they needed to fill it.

Charles Grodin wasn't doing another Beethoven anytime soon, but he was like, just come on the show. And Charles Grodin would come on and just shit all over over. He would be like, generally like Harrison Ford would. But it was a pretty uncomfortable interview. He doesn't want questions. He's like, any sort of questions that he gets is like, what do you mean by that? It's just somebody who is not, not treating anything kindly. And I love that. I think that that's a very fun bit. And I would love to have Charles Grodin on my show

when I have it now. I think that's a great answer. I think like Norm MacDonald is always a great fit for Letterman and Conan as just someone who, whether they're promoting something, whether they had something prepared or whether they were just like filling in was just like, yeah, so reliable.

Like this is the same way that when you and I once a year will have our friend Jason Parchman on the podcast, just knowing that like, this is someone who will occupy time and be entertaining so sort of, just knowing that like, this is someone who will occupy time and be entertaining so sort of, and I can just sort of zone out for a while and just like trust that we don't need to prepare too much. This is someone, this is a third of our podcast that we can outsource with complete faith

that he's not gonna say anything terrible or lead to any dead time. Maybe Jason is my answer. That's a good answer. I mean, he would be great. He'd be very compelling on a late night show. I like that you brought up Norm MacDonald. Norm MacDonald was so funny as a guest in the same way

where he came on with, he would come on with jokes that he made up but sound like jokes that get passed around always. Like he would go on to Conan, he'd be like, you know, Conan, I was walking down the street the other day, do you want to hear about that? Conan would be like, sure, sure, Norm. And so Norm McDowell has a story about it.

Or he'd be like, I walked into a bar the other day, do you want to hear how that went? And Conan would be like, I walked into a bar the other day. Do you want to hear how that went? And go and be like, okay, sure. And he'd tell a joke that has like a beats of threes. It's a very funny joke. And it sounds like a joke that Gallagher would steal. But it's just like a joke that you and your friends would tell around a tree house

or whatever that got passed around. An original street joke that he is dressed up to seem stolen. Yeah. He's... I don't know why I get served up a lot of him on Facebook but as you know I spend so much time on Facebook just surfing the channels. Surfing the channels seeing what's on the old boob tube and I get served up on this same video from him a lot where he's talking about I get served up with this same video from him a lot where he's talking about the worst name for an airline that a new airline has called itself 9-11 Air. God damn it. And then he goes, it's called 9-11 Air. I don't like that one bit. It reminds me of that tragedy.

Just extraordinary timing delivery. He's wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess him, he would be a great choice. I've only chosen dead people, which isn't making my show look too good so far. I'm trying to think of who I would have in the normal world, but I feel like I've watched, I guess Will Ferrell, if I could have him, he comes in with something brand new. I think when I was younger and I had dreams that I would maybe one day be a performer, and as a lot of young people who dream of performing, you also dream about, what would I do on a late-night show as a guest? And in high school, with my eyes way too big for my stomach,

I had Will Ferrell as my platonic ideal because he was never himself in any interview. It was always a prepared sketch, some prepared bit that he was going to do. And I was like, I think that's the way to do it. I think that's the way to, like, if you're gonna occupy time and space, you should have something and be funny in it.

I do think that's different than what Al Roker brings to the table, which is just like a safe, normal person who's going to come in at a moment's notice. I think my pick might be based on interviews I've seen and stand up and reading her book. I think Jenny Slate is such a funny and disarming person that you could truly, if I was hosting a show

and I needed someone, she is someone who could come in and I could say, what are you thinking about right now? Or what happened to you today? And she will have something to say that'll be interesting and entertaining and probably poignant. She does seem fun. She seems like she's always kind of got some, yeah. She thinks hard about things and I poignant. She does seem fun. She seems like she's always kind of got some, yeah.

She thinks hard about things and I like that. Now I say I'm tempted because now I'm like, I'm thinking like dark horses, like somebody who's going to come on and I don't even necessarily like them, but I know that this is going to be super engaging. It might go bad too, but it would still be very interesting. Somebody like Crispin Glover. If I could just like at any, if I just have him on retainer. No, he's alive. I just checked. If I had him on retainer

where I was just like, oh, our guest bailed, I'm going to bring out Crispin Glover and just like check in on what's going on with him. It could go really, really wrong, but it's going to be a thing that I'd want to see any time. Anytime Crispin Glover is going to drop by, I'm like, let's see what's going on with him now. Yeah. It's very tempting. Sorry.

You familiar with John Hinckley Jr.? Yeah, I know who that is. Yeah, so listeners, our younger listeners, he tried to shoot Ronald Reagan on the misguided belief that it would impress Jodie Foster, on whom he had a very big crush based on her performance in the movie Taxi Driver. For many reasons.

We should know that she was 12 or whatever in that movie. For many reasons. I wish I knew she was 12 or whatever in that movie. For many reasons. This relationship didn't work out. She was not impressed that he tried to shoot Ronald Reagan. He did some prison time, and he's out and on Twitter and spends a lot of time very pointedly being like, I don't want to talk about the other stuff. I just want to talk about my music.

It's my, it's my fucking favorite career pivot. Anyone else in the world who's like, I'm going to leave my old career behind. I'm Billy Bob Thornton. I'm not an actor anymore. Now I'm a musician. I roll my eyes. John Hinckley Jr. I'm not that thing you know me for.

Now I'm a musician. This I'm on board with this rebranding. I love. No one really wants to book John Hinckley Jr. playing anywhere because they're like, no, we're not going to platform even though we like the world has already decided to platform the biggest monsters all the time. We draw the line at John Hinckley Jr.

because this country fucking loves Reagan so much. I don't know why he sucks. I think if I had a show, I would bring John Hinckley Jr. on just for the, like let's hear him do a song. And then every single episode, I would try to get him to talk about the thing that he doesn't want to talk about.

And get him to. And I just rile him up. I just. See what he does. Wind up John Hinckley Jr. every episode. Wait a second. I don't understand this. That was a great song, John.

That was really, that, was it based on dissatisfaction with politics? No, you don't channel dissatisfaction into songs. What do you do when you're like really mad at the system? What's your go-to thing? You don't want to talk? All right, he's taking his mic off. All right, well, that's all the time we have.

Thank you, John. It was great to have you, John. As always, it was great having you on. Welcome back anytime. Okay, I'm looking him up right now. I was confused as to why this guy wasn't in jail for the rest of his life, because when you try to kill a president,

I don't think they generally smile. They don't like that. Even when you go to prison for a little while, it's tough to get out for early behavior. I guess because he was in psychiatric care that was different than prison and they decided he was no longer a threat to others or himself. So they let him out in 2016. And he's just been out there doing his art and writing and music. I did not know that. Wait, how did you, how you became tabs on John Hinckley Jr.? You know what, buddy?

I don't totally know. It's so hard to keep track as someone who is somewhat of a presidential scholar himself, and as someone who works in political late-night comedy, where we will often find cause to surprise people with a timely video clip that they haven't seen. Maybe that's why I was on the John Hinckley beat, because he's on Twitter and YouTube, and it's interesting to me that he's doing that and he's trying to make a go of it as a singer-songwriter. Or maybe it's just something

in my brain just connects with him. I don't know. He didn't even try to rebrand. He wasn't like, I'll just go by a different name. Everybody knows me. Everybody knows what John Hinkley Jr. did. I'll do something else. He was like, no, I'm pivoting. You're all gonna know me for my music. Trust me, just listen to this song. This is wild. I didn't know all this about him. Yeah, he's got a lot of canceled concerts

because most venues don't want the risk of, without even like being able to pinpoint who is most at risk, I think the venue is just like, nah, we can't have that, we just can't. It's like, what do you think, he's dangerous? I don't know what I think. It just seems like it's too much heat. I kind of want a talk show that's just you and him. It'd be so much fun.

Well, I guess this is I'm not considering this as being like a real human being, which is maybe problematic. I'm thinking of him only in terms of entertainment purposes, but somebody like that, who you can be like, we have a little surprise for you. Jodie Foster is here. Jodie Foster? Right. Just kidding, John. Of course not. You can't be around her.

Well. Sorry, I'm researching him now. No, that's fine. Not holding up my arms. I can't lift my arms. I'm too sweaty for that. OK, well, yeah, let's fine. Not holding up my arms. I can't lift my arms. I'm too sweaty for that. Okay. Well, yeah, let's cut the show off. I got to now go do a deep dive on John Hinckley Jr. and his current career.

Is his music any good? He's on YouTube, apparently. No. Ah, is it? And it's not about the thing. Well, I'll be the judge of that. I'll determine whether I think it's good or not. All right, everybody.

Thank you for listening. This has been Quick Question with Soren and Daniel. You can find Daniel and I on Blue Sky. You can find me, Rex, who does our theme song anywhere you stream your music. You could find Gabe Harter at gabeharter.com some point in the future. I think he's got big things brewing

for podcasting in general. I'll just like tease that. So sit with that for a little bit, let it simmer, and then try and get in touch with them. Gabe Harter is our podcast editor, producer, sound engineer, and the glue to the whole thing. And if you want to find other versions of this podcast, like shorter versions that are even less scripted than this somehow, you can find that on Apple subscriptions or on Patreon.

And we do those every other week. So, sorry, this one, I wasn't completely off book on this one, this episode of the scripted podcast. You could see me reading a few times and I apologize for that. It's just been crazy with the move and all. Thanks everybody, bye. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right.

I wanna hear your thoughts on it. Now what's on your mind? I've got a quick quick question for you. All right. The answer's not important. I'm just by the week. We can talk tonight. So what's your favorite?

How did you get? What would I be? I don't remember. Words without words. Word it all. You got it. We know. Oh forget it

Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here