Quorators - ADAB w/ Justin Roczniak

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Can Nuclear Bombs Destroy Tanks Helicopters And Fighter Jets? Should criticizing the president of the United States be a crime? How do i completely get rid of an incubus/succubus demon that has been disturbing my sleep and keep disturbing my life? Watch the show on youtube.com/@quorators Check out Roz on Well There's Your Problem podcast https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPxHg4192hLDpTI2w7F9rPg Support the kickstarter for Theater of Delights Season 5 https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/theaterofdelights/theater-of-delights-season-5

Let's get rockin'. And welcome back to Quora-tors. It's another week here on the internet with Quora.com. Now that we have a video podcast, I feel a lot of pressure to dance during the theme song. You should feel that pressure. we're just like kind of sit in there i was about to say do you think michael jackson felt pressure to dance when he was recording the hit song thriller uh yeah i think yes probably yeah he felt more pressure than anyone's ever felt that's why he did those things he did

well did he dance during the recording or did he dance during the music video after the recording i mean i've got to assume that guy was dancing non-stop am i wrong for thinking that i must have been horrible for the audio engineer yeah yeah when you raise a star they gotta dance i don't know how any of this makes sense compared to what we're talking about but i do agree with you when you raise a star they gotta dance and welcome to quarries we're hosts we're alex and jeremy and we we find we curate chorus we do curate chorus live from the internet and that's how we get them on 5g on wi-fi people made fun of us for a while for our name Quorators

Yeah they bullied us But I found a Twitter account The other day That's at Quorator And it's a guy Who has not tweeted Since 2013 And his bio is like

I curate Quoras Are you fucking kidding me No And it's old It's 2013 It's 10 years old So we're biting Quorator

The Twitter account Yeah Well he's not doing it As like a joke He's like Quora's a cool website People on Twitter Want to know about it Yeah

This is a public service Yeah and Here's some Quoras that curated okay well that we'll never see him again we're gonna take care of this is a big liability i did not like finding out about sorry the show uh we will not be speaking of that twitter account again and in the meantime we have a very exciting guest for you all the way from the well there's your problem podcast a podcast about engineering disasters we welcome to the show justin rosniak justin welcome to the show hello thanks for having me i i have uh i i you know i

I'm glad to take this opportunity that, you know, my friend Alan Fisher was moving today. Alan Fisher of YouTube fame. And I, as a good friend and, you know, someone who respects him, someone who, you know, as a good friend, I did what any good friend would do, which is to cross two state lines to avoid the situation. Yeah, you went pretty far. You're like probably our farthest flung guest we've had in here. I don't know if you would have come on if you didn't have to help a friend. you're gonna be like why would i do that yeah um alan fisher by the way i did not recognize as a youtube name so you can't just be like i'm trying to get out of helping alan fisher move and

i was like oh fuck do i know an alan fish when you said it just do i have to help alan fisher damn he's really like dunking on his buddy the name just meant he's a public figure so i think i can dunk yeah no absolutely he has like maybe the most a guy you knew from middle school name i have come across in some time yeah and uh if you're listening to the show right now you are supposed to be helping him move so get out there i was about to say no the other way around whatever whatever fuck it who cares this is a quora podcast now uh we have the raws on here and uh raws is somewhat of a structural mastermind is that are those the words that you would use i uh sure yeah let's go with that i i

like structures okay great uh because often on the show we we have everybody live for minutiae and um the the substance of things but the greater machinations can often slip through our hands so we have tried to like kind of air out quora's engineering uh uh faculties would you say yeah like trying to like we are a hyphen podcast under comedy and education which is i'll tell you i'll tell you education's been slipping off i don't think we've really fit that in one time no except we're learning i learned a lot about master chief that one week and that was pretty much it it's educational for us about the website quora yeah for sure which is an engineering disaster that's true and i just was not exploring the website as a whole that way maybe we can like circle back

around to that because there's a lot of moving pieces in what makes this such a dysfunctional website yeah uh i do feel like i know less about it than when we started the podcast if that makes sense i do also feel like that yeah i feel like i had a better understanding of what it was like we started this and i was like i got it yeah like read it and it's not and now i'm like it's a porn website i think technically pornography you know at some point you start learning enough about something to know what you don't know that's yeah that's how it always works yeah that's really well put actually yeah uh i think jeremy is right i think it's a cross between like a porn website and then like a pros world building forum yeah and those two things together make quora um every

week we like to ask a question at the end so uh we will get around to that this is our one segment we do and uh we had one last week it's a good one um the question was has there ever been a police officer who can smell crime now okay any thoughts you have any uh theories on if there has been one because there's a very pedantic answer that somebody immediately came up with son of a bitch um which i did not consider even for a second when we wrote it i thought for sure we were going to get somebody of like well if by smell crime you mean no crime is happening then actually okay no these are two extremely pedantic answers the more pedantic one is yes dogs do all the time shut the fuck up shut the fuck up i don't like that i don't like that

can a cop spell crime uh yeah they're called dogs that is not an officer that's a dog that's a dog does not count uh so that was a retired police officer who said that dave scott go fuck yourself go fuck yourself dave scott a cab but especially you for being a dick for being a joke police I'm Quora.com. All Daves are bastards. That's true. Hey, Dad. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I have personally been bamboozled by a police dog before. I do not like them. I feel like they're a loophole in the law. What do you mean you've been bamboozled by a police dog? One time, okay, so I got pulled over in essentially like a speed trap when I was 19. I was convoying with my friends to Bonnaroo in the American Southeast from Massachusetts. It's like you're saying this like you're in court right now.

Well, I have had time to prepare my story so that it comes out in the correct order. And essentially the long and short of it was that we were just driving too close together because it was like hour eight of our drive and we were pulling over at the campground at the end of the day and we got pulled over by a cop for being too close to the other car. And then that was turned into a legal kerfuffle when they brought the dogs out and then just said yeah the dog said we can search your car anyway which is like this doesn't seem i have no way of knowing if this is real orders from a dog i can't read what the dog said uh i'm sorry

that dog outranks you the dog was like fuck that guy dog was trying to ruin my goddamn life but that's crazy here i am um yeah so dogs dogs are cops and they can smell and another guy said many can 300 pounds of weed in a closed vehicle is a very is very easy to smell oh there you go the Canine was called in immediately. Smoked a joint in the past three hours. Just like cigarettes, it sticks to your clothes. Cocaine and meth also have a particular odor. I used to smoke a pipe, and cops always grabbed it and smelled it.

So, I don't know. Did I mention they were dogs? And he says, maybe they're magicians. All right, so I don't know what this guy's talking about. I don't know what this guy's talking about. I think this guy's on drugs. This is a bottom for cops. You know what I mean?

Like a police submissive posting out. Just like, I don't know how they do it. They're so smart. and then finally our listener Norgler wrote an old retired cop once told me crimes smell like burnt toast and scrambled eggs I think he may have just had a stroke though and again

if you were going to answer our questions use the word scrambled eggs and then we will know you are not an actual police officer this is our decoding algorithm if you are a listener who is a police officer though yeah write in tell us about your stories yeah send

me to jail already so what I'm getting from this is that yes cops can smell crime but only if it's a smelly crime yeah yeah in which case i can smell crime too right yeah have i ever told you you should join the force you've got a gift hide it away under your engineering podcast you gotta you should be a member of the police two cops on our podcast then absolutely um i like the idea of a magician cop though the guy who was Like, maybe the cop's a magician who's just like, oh, you don't have any drugs on you, person I want to arrest? It's behind your ear.

And they send you to jail. I think that might be a Key and Peele sketch I'm ripping off. I think it sounds familiar, but it... Anyway, who cares? They put a sheet in front of you, and they drop it, and you just appear in a jail cell instantly. Wasn't this on that Quarator Twitter account? Wait. Yeah, I think it was.

Okay. So, yeah. We have a bunch of fucking engineering questions. All those answers pissed me off, but we did get answers this week, so that was a success for us. Shouts out. Shout out. Quora.com. Shout out to Quora.

Shout out. We're on YouTube. We're pointing at the camera. We love what you do. We wanted to keep rocking. I was a little bit confused there. I thought you were pointing at the fridge. Oh, yeah.

Well, we got our own camera. Shout out. It's a very sophisticated setup here with two cameras. Very nice. Unrelated. Shout out to the fridge. you keep things cold. Shouts out.

We got a Mike's Hard in there. Who knows who's getting that thing? Slam the fridge sound. All right. Uh-huh. There it is. There it is. Very nice.

Okay, this is our first segment. It is called The Q Train. Choo-choo, chugga-chugga. It takes a second. It's The Q Train. The Q Train. The Q Train. The Q, by the way?

All trains are Q Trains. By the way, Q? It's for Quora. just to fully explain yeah i wasn't sure if that was going to totally come across it's on the nqr line then well for new yorkers it could be confusing in this going to the second ev stops um stop pointing at the fridge now uh okay this is our first question this is an engineering question that i'm sure you have a great answer for can nuclear bombs destroy tanks helicopters and fighter jets yes interesting

now there is one answer here and the answer is yes so we've reached a quorum in real life and on the forum and that's something that we rarely get on this show i am curious why you would post this on the internet and if there is maybe a community that denies the the ability of nuclear bombs to destroy tanks helicopters and fighter jets i think this was joe biden who posted this and that he is just wants to know okay maybe they think it's a very small nuclear weapon yeah like a tactical nuclear weapon yeah or like something that i don't know it's like a a little mini one that's like a firecracker you can buy in a firework store that'd be fun does a tiny mushroom cloud on your desk you know that would rule i

would buy that yeah that would be pretty good actually the only way you could make that one work is if you were to maybe insert it inside the tank and that is easier said than done um In general, though, tanks really don't withstand nuclear bombs well. I have to imagine they don't. I've found, because of the force that they generate. Yeah, there's a lot of force there. You know, it's like a, I mean, it's a nuclear weapon. For sure.

It's not really an analogy to make with that. It's kind of the biggest one. It's the really big one, yeah. The one that makes the biggest boom. Yeah, it's like a small version of the sun, but unleashed on your planet. Living in New York, I don't know if this is a universal experience for all other cities, But here in the Big Apple, I feel like most people I know have gone on one of those websites where you can put a nuclear bomb on the map and see if it would reach your house.

And it always does. Have most people gone on that website? I feel like everyone has. Have you gone on that website? Yeah, I've gone on that website. You've gone on it. I haven't gone on it. No?

I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, well, if a nuke hits lower Manhattan, we're fucked. If it hits upper Manhattan, though, we're doing great. Shouts out to the fridge. Shouts out to the fridge. We're like Indiana Jones in there. Indiana Jones can hide from the nuclear bomb in the fridge. But it is the kind of thing like, all right, so you're supposed to put your thumb out like

Fallout Boy to see if you would survive the radiation of a nuclear bomb. Fallout Boy. That's what. The Fallout Boy. I know, but it sounds like the band. The band is a play on the boy. Well, it sounds like the band. Well, it is like the band.

But my question is, the nuclear bomb hits the tip of Manhattan to just like fuck Harlem. You just give it a big thumbs up and you say, all right, I'm going to die. and then yeah but what i'm saying is i think that we would not survive the fallout boy test it would be more than we bargained for yet yes it depends on what they get because they might not go for lower manhattan they probably go for like the refineries in jersey or the airports or you know that would bum me out i feel like jersey jersey is maybe around equidistant from central brooklyn i'd be so fucking mad if they nuked jersey before us do you know how upset i'd Be the biggest validation for Jersey in their entire existence.

Oh, my God. Yeah, we didn't need to take out New York. What's important is we go for the strategic parts of America. Yeah. New Jersey. If it turned out that's what China cared the most about, it was just fucking New Jersey. We're the real tough guys.

Oh, my God. Everyone wants to shit on Jersey until it's gone. They realize how much they relied on it. I know. They blow up the Bing. This guy says, yes, absolutely. Disintegration, no. but a tank would be flipped over.

Helicopters would be knocked out of the air by shockwaves. Maybe a fighter could outrun the blast, but on the ground, it's a pile of junk. And depending on how close it is and the type of nuclear blast, the warfighting vehicle will be hot with radiation. I would like to add, I don't think a fighter could outrun the blast

because of the speed of the blast. Yeah, it's very fast. It's the speed of an atomic blast. This guy's a cook. I don't know why we're listening to him, honestly. I'm not even a podcaster. I like the idea that the nuclear blast just flips over the tank.

yeah it's like a fucking master chief move he hold he hold x he hold x i said he hold x flip it over like a nuclear bomb it's this seems like a problem you could solve with a tow truck i mean yeah yeah well it'd be somewhat destroyed yeah that's they did it as a solution to the flipped over tank the tank was flipped and then they instead of getting a tow truck they nuked it the nuke it a second time yeah i mean that's now new jersey's really a crater if a nuke goes off and maybe we do not have the knowledge to address this in this room is there also an emt kind of effect that would disable the tank um yes that's what i thought don't even try to use a tank in a nuclear situation honestly maybe the electronics in the tank are hardened i don't know what kind

a tank it is yeah um i don't know what uh improvements we've made on tanks since the 40s i they haven't come up too much honestly i don't know what i'm imagining is something that looks a lot like a tank that you call a tank and then someone corrects you and says actually that's an armored personnel carrier yeah yeah yeah actually there's one of those at every police department all over the country that's a self-propelled gun i don't know what the difference is that sucks i don't like that at all i i'm it is my understanding tanks are like kind of not that useful in most situations now or just like not worth as much like iron as they take to put together i use mine pretty often really you do i haven't once had a situation to use a tank honestly

i i have never never used a tank i mean you know i am run abrams program was like basically just the replacement for america's welfare state at this point for sure that comes up every week on all right well we got another engineering question yeah this is our final engineering question this is in the quora the sub quora ask australians anything ask aussies anything dot quora.com why is there no bridge between antarctica and australia because we don't invest in infrastructure anymore okay that's true yeah wouldn't it also be very far antarctica and australia you only build it once yeah true once you get it done you can go back and forth as much as you want yeah exactly i i don't know i i i also why is there

not a bridge between antarctica and australia it well who's gonna pay for it yeah that's so true Yeah, not my taxes in America. You're going to have to work out between the Australian government and the Penguin government how to pay for this thing. The Penguin government's come on hard times, but with global warming, their assets are all over the place. They need the tourism from Australia. This is what was kind of fun about Trump,

is whenever he didn't have a good answer with who was going to pay for something, he would just make something up, like Mexico is going to pay for it. For the Australia-Antarctica bridge. There's no bridge, but you know how there would be a bridge we get Mexico to pay for? They'll do it. They'll fucking do it. It's an easy fix. We just get the labor in there.

That's a long bridge, man. It seems like a long bridge, but Mexico's up for it. And here's the question no one's asking about this bridge, is why are we building it? What's the purpose? It would be cool. Yeah, I'd say, yeah, it would be pretty cool. There's no roads in Antarctica. I mean, there are a lot of things that would be pretty cool.

I guess there are roads in Antarctica. I think maybe it would work better as a tunnel, though. Okay. That's my professional engineering opinion, is that the tunnel would probably be easier to build. Is that true? Right this down. Okay.

What if it was a Hyperloop? It would be easier as a tunnel. The thing is, in the fictional world where Hyperloops worked, they would be great for all kinds of situations. What if it was a teleporter? A big deal. What if it was a Hyperloop and you just put the penguin in and he slides on his belly the whole way?

700 miles an hour. It's a water slide. Yes. If you can't get Goku to instant transmission the penguins from one port to the next, that would be the fastest option. And, of course, somebody responds with, like, a lady going in a cold pool. Yeah. This is the horniest website of all time. God damn.

It's a lot of Australians making goofs that I like. So this one guy says. Well, if a Sheila was cold. He says there are no pubs in Antarctica. Facts. Fucking God, I'm too. I owned. And he lives in Melbourne.

Melbourne. So it's coming. Hey, I can say that. I'm in Melbourne. One person, I love this answer from John Young. I'm worried more about the other bridge in the world, the apparently crumbling one between fantasy and reality. Oh, my God.

Fucking owned. Get off of Quora. Delete your Quora account. You lose all of your Quora followers. One person says, while the toll would equal the yearly salary of a middle manager, that wouldn't be the major reason why there's no bridge. The number one reason is that we in Australia

would fear the invasion of immigrant penguins. Oh, Marcus Schuber. Marcus, you dog. You've gone too far. All right, now read this one with all the pictures on it. Okay, well, we thought about it, and fact-finding groups were sent to explore the economic potential. All Australians love going to the beach.

And then it's a lady in a bikini in freezing cold water. That's right. Beach barbecues were considered, and some showed promise. and then there's a this is what i mean like this is like this is like an afternoon's effort compiling this powerpoint gag answer for your painting of penguins wearing ties and holding briefcases all right that one's pretty funny they got me there that's kind of good um australia is not close to antarctica chile and new zealand are closer okay and this is a map and and south america is on it and new zealand is on it and you can't even see australia yeah so good yeah

go from go from uh chile or something that's a really good idea i'm for it and then this guy says you do know both continents are on separate continental plates don't you they do tend to shift about a bit snap what does that mean i do not like that i don't like that don't talk to me like that don't fucking do that okay well it wouldn't exactly be the first piece of infrastructure you're built on a fault line we're pretty good at it it's not the first problem with the multiple continents banning bridge okay oh one guy says try a tunnel yeah yeah there you go the clear answer is a tunnel yeah that's the obvious answer is because they're building a tunnel it's because they're building a tunnel i'm pretty bullish on this bridge idea this tunnel idea i

think this is i think we should get started right now honestly i think humanity in general needs need to go all in on tunnels. We're not doing so good on the surface. We need to go matrix mode. This is a really good answer. This is a very Quora-y answer in that it's extremely pedantic. The question is, why is there no bridge between Antarctica and Australia?

And he says, there is no bridge between Antarctica and Australia because one doesn't exist by default and there hasn't been one built by man. Shut the fuck up! That is not an answer to anything. It's so annoying. I would say, yeah, it wouldn't be built by man

because I think, you know, you need employment for the penguins. You need to do some penguin labor. Yeah, there you go. They could do it. They don't get the bends. Could any police officers smell drugs in Antarctica? Apparently it's 1,600 miles. That is pretty far.

Yeah. It's one of those, like, zoom out map situations. All right, Jeremy, I'm done with the rich questions. All right. Sorry. Get rid of it. On to, we're back to police officers. This is our police segment, Five Quo.

which is not our best work. Again, you are not being chased by the police. This is part of the podcast. This is just a sound we play on the podcast for the 5 Quo segment. Okay, so this is actually a really good question that I'm sure a lot of people are asking. What would the police do if a shooter used babies as a shield? Let that sink in.

I mean, serious answers probably still shoot. Yeah, I actually think this does happen some of the time. I'm sure. definitely just shoot that baby but shoot it yeah i just does this does the shooter have like just babies in a backpack and he just pulls them out use them as a shield i don't understand this he's got several babies in a backpack he's come prepared to the movie theater don't be caught unawares bring a baby with you i think we have to treat this like a men in black training segment style situation where like you're not supposed to shoot the baby sure what would the police do

to de-baby the perp. The police have no confirmation that the baby is not a criminal. That's a good point. That's a good point. They're aiding and abetting a knife. Aiding and abetting a crime. Yeah.

If they're over by the criminal, that means they're probably involved in some way. I think the baby's in on it. I think that's true. I'm the officer. I'm taking the shot. Yeah. Anytime you've stolen something,

I mean, like, a baby's going to benefit from that because you care for them. so any police officer knows that if you got to shoot the baby we're all in if you shoot the baby and the guy at the same time you get to hear double kill yes absolutely and that's huge for you oh killing spree yeah that's right no delay perfect um everyone pretty much agrees with us see i thought this would be a good question because there are so many cops on quora that that there's going to be a tactical breakdown on how to de-baby a criminal.

Okay, well, this is from... I hope that is the case. This is from Dan Rosenthal, who has over a decade of counterterrorism and security experience. Wow. He says, Babies are fragile,

but in the context of an active shooter, a baby taking a hard landing is a far less pressing priority than a shooter sending bullets downrange. So basically, he's like... Sure. I care more about not getting shot by this guy than saving some dumb fucking baby.

I think he's saying that if they drop the baby, your strategy should be to get the baby to get dropped. Okay. Fortunately, by strapping in excess of 100 pounds of baby... If you pass them something, or they have to catch it dropping the baby, then it's a good shot. Sure enough.

Basically, he's saying that the guy is too heavy to not have a... He's got, at best, a pistol. Okay. The suspect has the scenario all wrong. He thinks the police won't use gas or chemical irritants in the context of a baby being around. Oh, Jesus. There's an ambulance waiting outside

ready to treat those babies. I'm fucking sure there is. He thinks a police sniper can't hit the now stationary target. He's saying like the baby, he's basically not answering the question. Things are not looking good for this baby, I gotta say.

Yeah, the baby is getting, something's happening to this baby. Babies love bear mace. They actually adapt to it so quickly. I don't like this guy. I feel like the question is... He has 10 years anti-terrorism experience, Jeremy. The question is, like, what do you do if the shooter is using a baby?

And this guy spent, like, 500 words being like, well, actually, you wouldn't be able to. It would be hard for the shooter to use a baby. It's like, okay, that's not the fucking question. Are you shooting this baby or not? A shooter could never use a baby. Next question. Yeah, it's just like every responder will address the scenario differently. Shut the fuck up.

Yeah. Don't even write in if you're going to talk like that. I'm very disappointed in all of you today, Encore. I'm pissed. Some of us would shoot the baby once, but some of us would shoot the baby several times. Babies have very flexible bones. No one has taken this approach yet

of just the healing powers of the baby or above that of an adult. That's a good point, yeah. Yeah, they're very soft. You could just have an adult who grows up with a hole missing out of their shoulder, and they're like, oh, that's actually from a thing that happened.

It's a crazy story. I robbed a truck. i feel like the real answer here is the cops should be like i just whatever the dog tells me to do looks like we gotta bite them folks the dog says we should get some treats um bruce says there is this thing about babies they need to eat they poop they cry and they sleep this sort of quote meat armor will last until the first couple need a diaper change what are you talking about This is how the cops smell crime. If you smell poop, it's probably a baby.

It's being used as a terrorism shield. This is such a fucking terrible answer. Okay, so this person, so Bruce is saying that the baby, they're like taking care of it. It's not just a shield. They're like good people. Yeah. And that's why we got to take them down. That's not the question.

Again, this is a man I imagine has duct taped several babies to his chest. I'm seeing. If you're picturing like Barrett from Final Fantasy holding up a bank with a baby, he's going to take care of the baby. He's not a bad guy. He's just doing it to stop Mako production. Yeah. I don't know.

This answer sucks. Another person says the first step would be to call in a negotiator because of the number of babies involved in the example. This other question has a photo. Okay. I'm kind of curious about that. Let's get that up. I don't think the babies can speak.

How are they going to negotiate? well you you negotiate they'll learn to you get somebody who could teach a baby that's a good point yeah um they'll take some demands they're saying use like a hostage negotiator negotiator to get the babies out of there you know you're being very negative about it but that is the best response so far in the no the best response is to shoot the baby let's not get carried away it's better than wait for them to change the baby i don't think that's reliable at all Babies need to poop. Babies need to eat.

I can't find this fucking... It's also acting like taking the baby was the strategy. Like, yeah, I'm going to rob the bank. I'll just bring a baby. I'm putting my mic down for a second. Okay. This is a bold move on a podcast, by the way. You have to borrow a baby for your robbery.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, this is like a lone wolf and cub situation where you've just brought the baby as a tactical advantage. All right. Now, researching the Quora, would police use a baby as a meat shield? That's the one that this guy originally answered with the photo. Oh, this is great podcasting. Yeah, we have a guy who can work around this.

No problem. All right. No problem. I don't think that this answer exists anymore. I think it may have been deleted, so we can't see the original question that has a photo of a baby being strapped. because i'm just curious because there's one answer that asks that answers the other quora question is like in the photo you can see this man has several babies attached to him and i'm so desperate to see this fucking photo well jeremy this this raises an excellent question

which is like what do you have to do for your quarry to get taken down everything we've seen all the entire thread of just like what happened what would happen if i fell into this pool with clothes on that is left up no problem oh it's making me mad the quote that i'm reading for It says, in the example picture, removing even one baby exposes the hostage to take her to lethal force. So we're talking about a situation where a man has a gatling strap of babies. Yeah, that's what I'm imagining. A bandolier is the word I'm looking for. A bandolier, a baby-dolier.

If you're removing one baby exposes you to lethal firepower, I think you need a higher factor of safety here. I think you should have redundant babies in order that if one or two of them falls off, you're still good. You don't need to be in an orb, a complete orb of babies. Yes. That's like how parents live their lives

until like several years ago. Yes. It's like you got to have a bunch of babies because some of them are going to die. Yeah, exactly. Within the year. It's more of like a metaphorical orb of babies, but I do,

because we're talking about a physical orb of babies. Babies placed into the shape of an orb, of course. Some kind of geodesic dome that surrounds you and is covered in babies. Yeah, like a heat shield. All right, I think that's enough baby-shooting questions. That's enough of that. This is the next question in our five quo, which I think this maybe should be under politics.

Sure. And, hey, we don't like to get political here. That's true. This is a non-political podcast. The question is, should criticizing the President of the United States be a crime? And the answer is yes. Yeah, absolutely. Obviously, yes.

You got to respect the office. Yeah. Yep. Everyone on the thread, by the way, is like hands down, like I love calling the president a diaper ass. I love saying that he shits his pants every day. So this is from four years ago, this question. So this is during Trump.

This is during Trump. And so this is like, I do think there was a whole. Definitely, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to respect the contributions he's made. I was about to say, yeah. I think the answer should be no, but what would you even criticize the guy for?

Yeah. Yeah. Really? We would know if it had ever come up. Yeah. Yeah. No one's felt the need to do it. This is our most hypothetical question we've done yet.

Yeah, solid guy, solid presidency. Nothing to complain about. I actually don't think he's that great. And then people just like barge in and just drag me away. It's also a comedy show. Jeremy's just joking around. We love the work the president has been doing. Yes.

Yeah, I see how you could think this is a politics question, but also if you are a cop, you need to be thinking of potential crimes as well. Sure, that's true. It is a crime. Your head's got me in a swivel at all times. That's a crime. Really keep your nose out, you know?

Well, there's one kind of cop who needs to keep his nose out. This is maybe an edgy answer, but I would genuinely take this as a crime. I would accept that it's a crime to criticize the president if after their term ended, there was a big, like, filmed taping of us executing that president. That would be, like, a fair trade for me. And I think that would be, like, our purge. Yeah. Well, that would be, I mean, you'd only get people to take the job, too, who really have something to say.

Thank you. We really want to change the country because they will get killed after. See, I thought originally you were going to say there should be a Jeff Ross-style roast of them. No, I don't care about that at all. We get our most powerful pedophile to go up there and knock him down a peg. Alleged, alleged, alleged. Alleged. Our most powerful alleged pedophile to be like, this president's a whore.

Yeah, nice shirt. You look like a fucking slut up there. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. He got less done than Greg Giraldo. Wow. Hey, take it easy on me. Greg Giraldo.

Yeah, there is a panel too. Everyone on the panel was also killed afterwards. It's a great honor. Actually, this is a good idea. Yeah, we have a lot of great TV show ideas. More than anything. Remember when Jeff Ross roasted a jail? I do not remember that.

He did a special where he went to a prison and roasted all the prisoners. And everyone was like, this is the most dangerous comedy has ever been. It was like his Johnny Cash live from Folsom Prison album. He's just like, these bars are too hard. Didn't he get someone's sentence extended by doing that? I have not heard anything about this. Maybe I'm thinking of something else, but I think there was some kind of comedy roast at a jail

and then one of the prisoners revealed something about his crime that was not previously known. How many times could this have happened? It was probably Jeff Ross. Nobody's safe. Nobody's safe from the J-Man. I saw him live once. Have I ever told you this?

You did? I saw Jeff Ross do a live comedy show. He was a surprise guest. and he uh it was at uh in central park a free comedy show this was like i don't know 10 years ago lucky you and he brought up like 20 members of the audience to roast them like live improvised roast of the audience jeff it's too dangerous and i will never forget he all the women he was just like uh i want to fuck you and then one guy one guy had a red shirt and he said uh what do you work at verizon oh my god oh my god no one is safe and it bombed really hard and then he played

uh with a full band uh some sort of like song about jesus yeah and then a woman came out with a red shirt and he's like whoa what do you work at sexy verizon that would have been good you can hardly think straight up here i'm losing service to my brain with all the blood in my penis and then it was allegedly revealed that he dated a child and then allegedly he dated a child But that shouldn't stop him from roasting the president. No. Anyway, all the Quora comments are like, oh, God, no. This should not be illegal.

No. Oh, mama mia. People react to some of the Quoras on here like they are like legal proposals to be put into law. An actual policy proposal before Congress at this very moment. I have introduced with broad bipartisan support. I don't watch C-SPAN very often. I imagine they're going through Quoras much of the time. Should we do this one?

Should dogs be cops? Yes. That's how that started. Should we build the bridge to Antarctica? Maybe. I mean, we're not anywhere near there. Make more sense to go to, you know, we're going to do it. I was trying to find one person saying yes, and I found one guy, but it was quickly, I realized it was sarcastic, who says, yeah, why not?

While you're at it, how about making it a crime if you criticize the governor? Why stop there? Make it a crime if you criticize the mayor. Since you're on a roll, why not make it a crime if you criticize the chief of police? the police officers here's a tidbit of history for you adolf hitler did exactly that oh my god are you a moron mic drop should it be a crime to ask stupid questions like this should you be arrested see if he had faith in his writing he would have ended it after the adolf hitler poll you don't say more stuff after that now this guy is a political analyst he's the editor-in-chief

of pb magazine which i don't know what and gnn but he does have no allegiance to any political party oh okay so people even handed that's what the name of that website is it's even handed oh this is the ugliest website i've ever seen in my life get off of peoplebranch.org because their top article is avoid hospitals if you can wow if you are sick do not go to a hospital do not go to the hospital it has a four and a half star review that is worth i mean people like the article maybe it's a satire get off of people's branch.org it's not quora it's it's it's an affiliate organization next to quora um all right fine i'll stop doing it you're addicted to people's branch.org fuck blm we stand with cuba okay okay what does that mean they don't have

allegiance to any party yeah we're a rogue agent there are two parties in america just blm and cuba yeah it was wrong of blm to put up that blockade in the 60s i was against that the weeder of blm is a fucking jfk the un does not stand by black lives matter it's actually the bureau of land management i'm sure oh yeah maybe that is what he means that's actually very plausible what the ranchers don't like because you know that the they won't let their cattle graze on government land yeah there was that like armed conflict several years ago and i remember they were like fighting back against blm and i was like what is happening and i was like it's just

the land it's just like a hobby out there you know you have an arm standoff with the blm you know yeah once or twice a year keeps everyone on their toes what else are you gonna do in a field yeah exactly it's boring except stand off okay let's pull up the next one here we got a Ooh, welcome to Corrigan Wild, our animal segment. So this is exciting because Justin said he worked at a zoo, I believe. Is that correct? I did briefly work at the Philadelphia Zoo. How long you work there?

Six months-ish. I found it. I found the tiger. Do you feel like you are now an expert in which animals you could fight? Yes. The answer is none of them. Okay, so there's no animals at the Philadelphia Zoo. You're like, I could take that fucker.

Absolutely not. Okay. I mean, they're not only animals. they are also from philadelphia this is a philadelphia tiger they're not your fru fru manhattan animals lining up to get kicked in the jaw uh i think we this is a big achievement for us because there is one of these questions that's not specifically like could you punch this animal in the chair i was telling you guys that last night when i heard you worked at a zoo yeah i was just googling or quarrying just like

elephant fight giraffe fight and we pulled off some of these this was one that alex found though what would happen if i threw a rock at a wild polar bear it would probably try to eat you yeah it's gonna fuck you up once it once it puts down its can of coke yeah so here's the thing the polar bear everyone going right to oh it'll rip you limb from limb it's the biggest bear it's an unstoppable bear is it so big maybe it doesn't even notice a rock depends on the polar bear i think i could take that really skinny one that's like dying due to like an anemic polar bear even that though is a very large like a bit anemic bear is a big human yeah for sure i don't know and they're so sharp yeah very pointy animals yeah uh fuck really

we've uh i think we've covered before on this show like anything bigger than a goat is gonna be a real toss-up for you as a guy but uh one blinking oh because it's the middle of a guitar solo because i forgot which button was the tiger it was this one so it's still just doing a guitar solo yeah and it will continue if i click it but let's not get distracted here what would happen if you threw a rock at a wild polar it would kill you yeah i believe i believe the polar bear would kill you it's almost redundant to even throw the rock because i think the thing is like if you're near a hungry polar bear it's game over close enough to the bear to throw a rock at it that bear has already killed you did your zoo have polar bears uh no okay that's probably for the

did you put in any requests for them uh no that was not my unfortunately not within my purview what'd you do at the zoo um i was actually an intern with the philadelphia department of public property and i was sort of supervising a roofing job at the tree house and uh they essentially they essentially put me there because they didn't know what to do with me you know and it was it was Basically, my job was just to stand around at the zoo all day, occasionally take a walk. Thinking about which ones you could fight. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

So I had very little else to think about. They didn't know what your job was, but they knew you belonged there because you're an animal. Yes. Yeah, that's kind of the prevailing logic here. I was government waste. You always hear about these situations, and you ask yourself, why can't I be government waste?

It was a good time. Yeah, it sounds like it rocks, honestly. I've met friends online, Emma Bowers, shout out on Twitter, who's an actual zookeeper, and her job seems very hard. So I think I would much rather do yours in this situation. Yes. Where I just look at a roof and I'm like, yeah, that could keep a macaw in there. That's macaw proof.

I'm wondering if anybody is pro-bear cooperation in this thread. I don't know. This guy, Phil Jackson, says, throwing rocks at a wild polar bear? Short answer, no. Long answer, hell no. It's not a yes or no question. It's a what would happen if question.

The long answer is hell no. Pretty short still. I'm a bad listener. Here's a picture of a gun I put on the internet. This is also a very, he wrote like a fucking book about what would happen if you tried to shoot a polar bear, which is, again, very different.

Okay. I'd hide behind the rock. You die behind that rock I'd jump into a river You'd die wet and cold I'd stand my ground And yell at the polar bear To frighten it

You'd die faster Alright dude Whatever Was the polar bear Paying you to write this That isn't even the question Yeah The question is

What happens If you throw a rock at it Here's the deal With the polar bear They don't hibernate They never get cold Food is scarce They're always

I repeat Always hungry I didn't know They don't hibernate That's actually really interesting That is pretty interesting See we learn good stuff In the gone wild

He says Yeah education Yeah He says, you have two chances of surviving. One, Slim. Two, none. And Slim just left town in italics. Oh, no.

Slim just left town. Yeah, you forgot the most important part of the entire thread. And then there's a photo of a bloody polar bear ripping apart a seal. Yeah, respect to that polar bear, though, honestly. Well, that's too bad about us and polar bears. But I don't think I'll ever be in that situation, so that's good. my podcasting colleague liam and i planned a trip on i think it's the dalton highway a while back and it was like yeah there might be polar bears you have to bring a gun

and as we've covered in the thread you need a big like you need a rifle i think yeah yeah you you got to get those guys from pretty far away if you're at like a cqc range it's an issue i think uh have you ever shot a big gun before no i shot a shotgun once that's about it yeah how hard could it be how hard can it be yeah i mean honestly i mean the polar bears polar bear can't do it you got it yeah i was about to say unless the polar bear has a gun then you got problems yeah honestly we would all have problems that would fuck us up what would happen if you threw a rock at a polar bear with a gun if they can if they can go over the bridge to australia and they're really fucked they're gonna they're gonna go fuck up some

penguins yeah for sure they actually be staying fucking up penguins there's no polar bears in the south pole is there no no okay no i can't answer for sure but i don't think that's a north pole thing it's one of those things where like polar bears and penguins never interact like they don't even know about each other isn't that fucked up that is fucked up i imagine them eating penguins non-stop like a penguin sandwich for lunch polar bears don't even know about them Well, they have a ton of seals. Yeah. They have puffins.

Those are like penguins. Yeah, sure. And they make the cereal. Can puffins fly? Yes. Oh, nice. Education. Pass that to the fridge.

Today we're answering your engineering questions. Can puffins fly? Well. That's enough of that. That's enough of that. But this next one is, I think, an important question. This is our first non-fighting animal question ever on the show. I found this one.

Do elephants never forget because they live such a boring life that anything memorable is worth remembering? What a fucking dick question about elephants. Anti-elephant propaganda. They paint. Anti-elephant. Elephants are very, very smart animals. Elephants have done nothing to get this kind of attitude either.

No. All they do is get murdered out of the blue. They're cool as fuck. There was that one elephant who murdered that lady and then traveled like 500 miles to stomp on her on her body on her grave yeah yeah but that was cool yeah because we've electrocuted a few elephants we deserve that yeah i'm kind of like what did this lady do to this elephant i yeah yeah i mean sure something like i don't think the elephant is the problem here i was about to say elephants are not from my experience that

violent unless they're really provoked yeah yeah and i bet you that elephant fucking remembered that oh yeah and it wasn't boring yeah yeah i mean this is a stupid question in general because it's like a lot of animals do boring stuff and they we don't say they never forget no it doesn't make any sense why would you say that also if the elephant's life was memorable it would be because it would be easier to remember it right like what does it even mean what are we even saying right now what is this question i know right it's just an insult an insult to elephants this person is gonna have an elephant come to their house and fuck them up yeah susan canaday says has anybody ever tried to teach an elephant to read i know you can teach like gorillas sign language we should

try yeah we could do it all right if you're listening at home teach an elephant to read yeah if you have an elephant yeah yeah if you have access to write in to quarators at gmail.com send in your elephant experience and also send in chorus yeah um susan canaday says that is not a very nice thing to say it's also ridiculous the elephant remembering what happened to the elephant is important to its survival elephants like many large grazing animals have an incredibly good memory they remember everything 20 years later in america an elephant or a horse or any other large grazing animal remember exactly what happened at a given spot and respond in the same way how do they test this it's about to say this may be a little optimistic especially with a horse

aspect yeah um elephants also use decoys to distract farmers and have the rest of the herd go raid their farmland and they remember an individual people their voice tone and what they did it could be 10 years later 20 years later 40 years later they will remember see this is the thing is the level of detail coming out here it sounds suspicious but also is in such volume that they must know more about elephants than i do so i can't really question it it's like a fucking telltale game for them yeah yeah it's pretty much the game of thrones strategy text game but elephant will remember that elephant will remember that it's a joke for our gamers it's the first one on the podcast welcome to the show gamers are safe

here it's a safe space for gamers that was so funny when we were doing the hard drive show the live show and you kept oh i i copied your tweet yeah every month i would say this is the one show where gamers are safe and people would look up at me like what the fuck did you just People get so mad about it. They'll be like, how dare you? Gamers can go anywhere. This is not true of gamers. Why don't you just go on stage and lie?

Anyway, a lot of people just say yes, they can remember, and you're being a dick. Well, they are being a dick, though. A snail has a boring life, and they may not even have memories. So there you go. Okay. That's sort of orthogonal to the original question. yeah he says frankly i'd rather have an elephant's life than a human one sometimes david adab david's are bastards adab the name of this episode is adab

uh i don't know is there anything else to say about elephants they're really smart and cool and if you insult them we're coming for you yeah yeah we're coming for that ass i don't know a single other fact about elephants we said we must move on let's move on to the quoker all right this is our incel and manosphere segment welcome to the quoker this is where we address questions for men this is a question for men sent in by cody let's get it my professor called me a whiny vegan and the entire class cheered how come no one protests a professor being so offensive why is the world like this so that last bit really hammers the question i love because it starts with the story everyone cheered this is like the reverse of those fake

like reddit stories or or memes i was about to say normally it's the professor who's woke in this case the professor is anti-woke anti-woke this is like this is like um conservative professor destroys me i was at my white birth rates lecture and i got yelled at by the professor uh anyway i don't know this is probably a fake question but it is funny that they made it first person i think it i mean it's it seems very plausible it's not like it's just it's structured like a fake question yeah it does seem like if i was a whiny vegan right yeah and my professor was mean to me and everyone cheered i would be like thank god more people didn't see this happening what forum can i put myself on blast i gotta go post this on the internet what class

do you think this this professor taught um is this a question that's ripe for rific logic 101 yeah yeah facts and feelings at fact university uh yeah it wasn't a cooking class we have to assume that this is real yeah I mean, we have to. We have to treat every case like it's the most important one we've come across. Yes. Officers of Quora. Why is the world like this?

Why is the world like this? That's a great question, ultimately, for Quora. Why is the world so cruel? Why is the world like this? And then some guy's like, actually, the world isn't cruel. People who live in the world are cruel. But the world itself has no cruelty. Just a big ball of iron.

Thank you, Quora man. Also, you suck. This top answer looks pretty good. Okay, let's review the evidence. One. Also, I want to be clear, this guy has the hat character from XKCD as his profile picture, so you know he's really cool.

Oh, I thought it was Heisenberg. Oh, maybe it's Heisenberg. I think it's the guy from XKCD. Oh, okay. I'm not that familiar with the IP. I'm really looking forward to getting to it. So XKCD is a stick figure webcomic that's very popular, and it's very like nerds and like engineering and stuff like that yeah and um there is a character

who is always wears a black hat who's like kind of an asshole know-it-all who you wouldn't want to identify yourself as oh huh but he does know it all so that can be good that's true that's pretty good for quora if you know everything yeah you can assist and help people out with answers you know that's how you find a mate yeah to fight sure sure okay um you're a vegan i presume sorry number one you're a vegan i presume else you would probably point that inaccuracy out so he's answering the question why did they call me a whiny vegan he says number one you're a vegan number two your professor felt the need to level this particular insult in class number three your classmates expressed their hearty agreement all of them number four you expect quote protest because

something is quote offensive then ask quote why is the world like this it would be arrogant to make a definitive determination based on 28 words from the internet shut up that's basically what that character like to to purposely be like this is the most lame thing i've ever heard in my life feel like well let's look at the evidence here yeah well you're asking a question but there's no real way to answer it based on just these words. But it's role play, and he is successfully inhabiting the XKCD. No, but I don't

think it's role play. I think that he just likes being this guy. Okay. Okay, here you go. Here's how he describes himself. Manufacturing project engineer. Okay. Father. Okay. Libertarian. Interesting. This is my enemy. A triple threat. Yeah, Jeremy hates

fathers. I hate fathers. He's mother-pilled. manufacturing product engineers so is he is he is he is he on a i don't i don't i don't is that what dilbert does i was gonna say it's like the guy from the first thing i think of is dilbert yeah i was about to say yeah maybe he is maybe he's he's being dilbert because i'm always because dilbert's always like what does our product do and i think that's he's talking to the hat guy a lot of the time with that yeah okay um well yeah it is rude to answer the question and then just be like i don't know based on what you told me uh yeah just shoot from the hip man just go for

it i'm just looking at all his questions and like he's answered so many things about how like joe biden is lying to you or whatever yeah it just fucked up how much joe biden's lying to me it's too bad i can't criticize him under the law it's unfortunate but you know it was what we need to keep society glued together you have to respect the office yes he has a long answer about like how alec baldwin definitely killed that woman on purpose like one month ago it's like that's what they're still arguing about on quora so he's posting some true things too yeah um let's look at the evidence number one do you work at verizon uh anyway i don't know why is the world like this why indeed it would seem a great improvement if the perpetually offended would isolate themselves

from the rest of us. So I'm really getting a lot of like, are you triggered responses from this when it does not address the why is the world like this? Like I thought it would have people be like, well, the- People are saying you probably suck. The mammalian brainstem is that of the intelligence of a lizard, and so we haven't evolved emotionally

the capability to have a nice class where everyone's nice to vegans. Here's an answer from a former army U.S. captain. Okay. U.S. army captain. Why did I say that so weird? You're nervous. you're nervous because you're in the presence of it yeah you think he's gonna make you do push-ups

the fact that the whole class cheered instead of being offended tells me that the professor finally said what everyone else in the class had on their collective minds perhaps perhaps if you stop being a weak-willed emotionally fragile and sheltered little shit with a perpetual victim mentality who thinks he slash she slash it knows it all and instead focus on your studies the world wouldn't quote be like this for you okay the professor made fun of you and everyone cheered i don't think that's an okay thing to be upset about i was about to say yeah i mean what i'm sort of uh getting out of this is like uh you know the the norm mcdonald meme where he's like i think everyone involved in this story should die yeah yeah there's no no good people

involved here this is a bold statement to make but i really do feel like quora even more than like Twitter or Instagram or the other like social media contemporaries like has like a real nest egg of like right wing communities where they make up stuff and then yell at each other kind of like it's almost like the go to conservative Facebook, I guess, would be the biggest one. Sure. I mean, what are the odds that this is actually written by a conservative? Pretty high.

I think so, because otherwise, if like we were saying before, if it happened to you, you wouldn't want other people to know about it. You wouldn't end up putting yourself on blast like that. So I think it is just kind of like right-wing improv is the closest analogy I can think of to it. That's really fun. You do save more money that way going on Quora than to UCB. I love the idea that these guys are all yes-anding each other about this whiny vegan. Yes, and you're triggered.

And I have a coffee cup, and it's filling with your tears. We need a suggestion of a whiny vegan. Anyway, fuck this question. I don't care about the rest of these answers. Okay, that's fair. I mean, I don't know. It's just a lot of people. It's like hundreds and hundreds of people being like,

because you deserve to be shot in the face. I don't understand why they're mad, too. You only have the information from the title of the question. Is this somebody you already didn't like? People hate vegans. Are you a vegan? Are you currently whining? That's one of the answers.

You got your ass there, honestly. the professor deserves tenure you have a rare day learn all you can from this person i don't know if that's how that works school administration's out of control okay let's move to one guy i just like this one my guess is that you are a whiny vegan i'm a liberal a pretty left-wing liberal i believe in universal health care universal income gay marriage etc but the far left is what gives liberals a bad name. I just like that this guy's like, we need to have gay marriage,

but these fucking vegans. These fucking vegans, man. We went too far when we were whining in that class you were in. Okay. Anyway. All right. That's that guy.

All right. What's our last segment here? I'm going to nail the little- Forbidden knowledge. I'm going to nail the little sound effect here. There we go. Right on time. This is a piece of forbidden knowledge.

The question is- If you were to enter into a forbidden space, What would you learn? Are thongs appropriate for a swimming pool? That's the question, by the way. Are thongs appropriate for a swimming pool? Are thongs appropriate for a swimming pool? Now, this...

You find yourself in a world where people are wearing thongs in a pool for swimming. Incredible. Are they appropriate? Ah, shit. Makes you wonder. Oh, my God. Need to find a friend?

Oh, I'm going to call a friend. I'm going to call my podcast co-host Alex, who has read several quoras about whether it's okay to swim in your normal clothes. Hey, Jeremy, what's up? Hey, how's it going? What's going on? I'm on the podcast Quorators. Oh, my God, I love that show. I just wanted to call you to let you know that I'm going to win the million dollars.

Oh, my God. The answer is yes, it's actually better to wear thongs. It feels great. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what you're doing over there, but that's what I would say. Final answer. All right. I think they are appropriate for the swimming pool. Yeah, fine.

Do what you want. If it's your pool, you can do whatever. The real answer is no. I mean, like, the answer is, like... Jeremy! I mean, like, if you want something equivalent to a bathing suit, the answer is no. Outside of that, I don't fucking know.

Do what you want. I think I've seen people wear, like, thong bathing suits. I mean, like, if you're going to wear, like, underwear, you're not supposed to wear any underwear. If it's the south of France, they wear stuff like that all the time because they're liberated. If you're in Nice, what if it's in the British sense where thongs are flip-flops? Interesting. Which you probably shouldn't wear in the pool because it would make it more difficult.

Yeah, this is true. Yeah, so you can't wear thongs in the classical sandal sense. I'll say, when I was a lifeguard, the rule was that you couldn't have any regular clothes. Here we go again with when I was a lifeguard. And I would pull out my gun, and I would shoot them to death if they did it. Officer Jeremy is on the case. Here's the thing. If it's a private pool, anything goes in there, baby.

The weirdest rule we had at our pool was that you weren't allowed to take pictures of kids. Have I talked about this? No one was allowed to take a photo of a child because of some pedophile who did that in the 90s. What? And it's like, it's Ellen's law. You can't. So you can't take pictures of your own kids? So as like a 15-year-old, I'd be like, man, I'm going to have to take a picture of that kid.

And she'd be like, this is my daughter. And I'd be like, you might be a pedophile. Damn, it's pedophile prevention. It's actually, and she'd be like, I don't know what to tell you. And then as a 15-year-old, I'd be like, I'm going to now turn away. Please just don't tell me you're taking the photo. And then they would never, and I'd have to fight with them. It was a whole thing.

I had to be like. Just trying to knock cameras out of mom's hands. No. This was Ellen's law. ellen is dead because of you i told myself when i took this job there wouldn't be an ellen ever again um jeff ross was constantly at my pool allegedly allegedly um anyway allegedly a lot of people there looked like they worked at verizon um anyway so sky fox says yes if that's what the individual wants to wear that's perfectly fine i recommend being nude for swimming so it's

It's like, yeah, so this person is just like, go naked. I don't know. If you're going to go naked, sure, yeah, wear underwear. Who cares? It did make me wonder if we had stumbled back into the wearing clothes in the pool quora. I think we did. This seems like a bad suggestion for like a public pool. I would say that.

Yeah. That's true. If you go down to like the city pool, you probably want to wear some clothes. You have to, I think, by the rules. Yeah, well, that just goes into like public nudity, I guess, right? And if you are, again, in the South of France, anything goes. I should say, if this is a thong bikini, then sure. I just meant that the actual clothing was bad.

There's a picture of Borat here. There's a picture of Borat. We're just going to screenshot that one now, because I'm not going to be able to find this page again. Here we go. It's a good screenshot to get, because you can include the Quora answer as well. And it says, you tell me.

All right, got Borat. I got him. Yes, okay. Yeah, I don't know. Do you know how weird it is to do computer hockeys on somebody else's lap? That felt so uncanny to me. Oh, yeah. This is just a photo of people's butts.

Okay. Several photos of people's butts. So they're doing it, so why can't I? But that is, again, my point. Like, a lot of bikinis pretty much are thongs. That's fine. Well, this is actually a different question. It says, can people wear thong bikinis in a public water park?

Is it a different question? Is it a different question? Yeah. I think the answer depends on what the texture is, what the material is, rather. You somehow have passed a picture of Elon Musk. Don't know how that was related. That was, for some reason, it's giving us a question. Okay.

Yeah. All right. Great. Yeah. So, in conclusion, don't do it at a public pool if you don't want any Jeremy's up in your case telling you about Ellen's Law. But other than that. Pedophile.

Pedophile. Pedophile. Pedophile. The swimming pools was where they trained the QAnon people. That's how I became a member. They're everywhere. Ellen must be safe. That's a real law.

I don't think it's Ellen. It's like Katie, maybe. I can't remember what it is, but someone, I don't know, Quarriors at gmail.com. Quarriors at gmail.com. What pedophile laws are there? You're right in. Okay.

What does that answer, please? We're going to get this email and be like, why the fuck did someone send this to us? Just an update. Wanted to let you know it's illegal to be a pedophile. Okay. Cool.

Thank you for that. Excited to have that in my inbox as if I asked about it. I've had this one in the queue for a while. Okay. This is our final question. It is forbidden knowledge. The question is,

and this is about engineering and this is about animals. How do I completely get rid of an incubus slash succubus demon that has been disrupting my sleep and keep disturbing my life? do you know do you know about incubus succubus i've heard of a i've heard of a succubus i've never heard of an incubus yeah what's an incubus an incubus is a male succubus oh that's why because

that guy brandon whatever is i want to say flowers but that's the killer's guy uh the then they'd say you know thank you this well he's somewhat of an incubus and well women want to suck him dry almost like he's a ghost and so in this way uh how would you get rid of one i think i think you got to get a priest on the case yeah probably i think you got to get an exorcism let me say her name backwards because if the one thing you know about it is that it wants to have sex with you you're like oh just have sex that's what it wants you're trying to sleep you have work in the morning please i'm so tired this is just a guy who like has insomnia due to us a succubus slash incubus just at the at the water fountain the next day bragging about your succubus

Oh, my God, dude. We know. We've heard. You have a succubus infesting your house. I keep having sex with this demon all hours of the night. She can't get enough. Oh, boy. Sorry if I'm a little sleepy in the meeting today, boss.

I cannot stop having sex with this demon all night. There is a malicious spirit in my bed. It's not a human. I don't mean my girlfriend. I mean a demon, a literal demon. I'm very afraid I don't know how to get rid of her I've tried everything

I've tried having sex with her That's it I just find this to be a very straightforward question You get an exorcism done Every movie I've seen with an exorcist The exorcist shows up and then is just like Oh, I never should have come here And then they leave

They don't make movies about where the exorcism was successful because that's like making a movie about when the Terminix guy came, you know? That's a really good point. Yeah. They recently made that movie about the woman exorcist. Did you guys see this? Oh, the woman exorcist.

Is that what it's called? Yeah, that's what it's called. It's called Lady Ghostbusters. But she was, she was, she was, no, that's a different thing. But she was killing ghosts left and right. It was like a horror movie, but it was like, it had like a girl power angle to it

where it was like, she was the first lady exorcist. And her name was Exorcist Lady. Her name was Exorcist Lady. I, by the way, don't know what you're talking about. I'll look it up. Yeah, I admit, this is exactly the kind of thing I like to... Fun fact, Jeremy is now Googling in all caps, woman exorcism. What do you think is the success rate on exorcisms?

Well, according to this movie, it's mostly men, and they had to break the ghost class. It's a real boys club. I guess so, yeah. This is the name of the movie. You're going to love the name of it. It's called Prey for the Devil. Guess how they spelled prey. With an E.

With an E. Oh, my gosh. A nun prepares to perform an exorcism and comes face to face with a demonic force with mystery ties to her past. But the trailer was a lot of like, girls can't get rid of ghosts. You need a penis to put in the ghost's mouth. It's the only way to get rid of them. No, that's not an exorcism. That's just giving the succubus what it wants.

See, this is why I can't work in this field. But back to your initial question, how successful are exorcists most of the time? I would say it's got to be like 80-20, right? Like four out of five times they get the ghost. Yeah, I'm thinking probably if you're a good exorcist, you probably have a pretty good success rate. It seems like they usually just read the Bible at it from what I've seen and then maybe splash some water. I imagine that's a specific part of the Bible, though, not like just general Bible stuff, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, you got to go like do the ninja guide in training for us to get the like reading good.

This is a Christian podcast. Absolutely it is. If you are trapped with a succubus demon, do call a priest. Do not email the quarators at gmail.com. We will not be able to help you. Do not tell us about that. Jeremy and I are not licensed exorcists. We don't know. Do Protestants do exorcisms? Can you do that? They can.

I don't think so. Yeah. They're already going to hell, so they don't need to. That's a good point. Yeah. They've abandoned the Pope. I just don't think they get the same training. This is a very long answer by Robert McClain. Let's get into it. I'll read some of it.

Damn, dude, this is long. Okay, all right. Okay. If it's bad, then just kidding. Before I tell you a guaranteed way of stopping nightly or daily sexual assaults by these invisibly monsters. Golden first sentence. by these invisibly monsters. Yes.

They want to have sex with you to steal your energy. They have sex with you. You think it's sex. It's really not. They are first breaking down your spiritual shield to be able to enter your body. Now they are able to cause all kinds of trouble and turn your life into a living hell.

Demons plant stuff inside you and unloose all kinds of scorpions and snakes and creepy crawly things in your life. What the fuck? They're coming snakes in you. They come snakes in me? Is that where the scorpions have been coming from? Oh, yeah.

If you have scorpions in your body, that's because a succubus or incubus is coming snakes in you. Sorry, bro. That's from the incubus. That's when you got to call Terminex. Yeah. The best way I suggest for beginners to deal with this problem is to read and incite the prayer found at Psalms 91. Semen emissions only give them more energy and increase the attacks. Some people don't believe in God, but yet are being directly attacked by them, demons and Satan.

For the most part, Satan and the demons stay unseen and unheard. See, this is why this is my favorite segment. They're suggesting you try a DIY solution before you call the pros. Semen makes them have more energy. I mean, that's true of people as well. Yeah, it's mostly protein. This is true, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You always read about this. I'm skipping ahead a little bit because this is getting insane. It is really long. God created this earth to be inhabited and not destroyed, but to be inhabited. Jehovah will never let the earth be destroyed by man, just as it was in the days of noah so shall the presence of the sun god shall be are you at the part where it's all caps and women were being given in marriage until the day of the flood came when noah and his family preacher of righteousness was saved by the ark now we at the brink of

armageddon which brings me to my point satan the devil and the demons has been kicked out of heaven cast down to earth knowing they only have a short time left before jehovah throws satan and his demons in prison for 1 000 years the bible compares satan to a roaring lion this is halfway We're not going to make the whole thing. No. But also, lion. That's a good one, yeah. We got a sound for that.

Do not consult a spirit, medium, or psychic. These are all forms of spiritualism that the Bible condemns. I just want to read this one more sentence. The demons will lie to you and tell you that your spirit spouse or heavenly wife or husband. That's a lie. They may even say you were an angel. That's a lie as well. Wait, where's the thing I saw about condoms?

angels were kicked out of heaven originally for making bodies for themselves i saw something about condoms but now i can't find it search it baby oh here it is oh you know what i was reading condemns oh no oh it's so embarrassing you know there's a lot of stuff about semen i i thought it said something about bible condoms yeah if you wear condoms they can't get your seed and then that straps them from saying well they'll go good luck convincing a succubus to not raw dog it though like oh hold on i gotta just get protection out what is i'm so into you though i really want to do this what is um capsaicin hp cream it says the demons drip a couple drops of some unknown liquid liquid in between your thighs in order to interact sexually and physically to counteract

that toxin purchase some capsaicin capsaicin hp cream rubbing your inner thighs on top of your head and on your temples a pea-sized amount is all you need do not put capsaicin hp on your private parts it is fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji hot all right upvote that answer i feel i feel like i feel like i'm in the evil dead and i just read the necronomicon and now i'm gonna get killed by zombies yeah i feel bewildered having you injected that into my life but it's coming for me it is good to learn about a supplement that can improve the situation yeah it's good to know that there's a cap season i feel like this is not to be a better way you know a diy solution that maybe you shouldn't be touching you know i this this is uh i i don't

know this is up with like electrical work and that you probably should call a professional i don't do it yourself yeah it is very similar to electrical work in a way um so he spelled capsaicin very wrong come on it's to help uh you didn't even know about it until now me yeah oh yeah well don't put it on your don't put it on your private parts it's for like arthritis it's the chemical that makes uh peppers spicy right yeah is that true i've heard i i well i know this only because of my friend josh who is eating a ton of peppers to combat his cancer but um yeah that's a thing but i didn't know that you could get a cream of it so it's also for incubus for when you're fucking a devil a goddamn demon trying to avoid doing so all right well i'm gonna back rosa because you

won't call a professional because you're too cheap it is a lot of just about being cheap no you can get something at cps you don't need to call a guy i didn't go to school for this exact situation all right well those are our questions do we want to ask a question for quora and call it a podcast i think this week we should and also every week okay what's a good question for us we want to ask aussies something um because that is a sub quora that we can now use yeah quora has communities is kind of like Reddit. But you've got to ask to get in sometimes.

There's like mods. There's Quorum mods. Okay, so we're going to ask Australians anything. Hopefully this works. What do Australians want to know about? No, come on. We can do better than that. No, I'm asking us.

I'm brainstorming. That's not the question. What would Australians know about? Um, koalas, koalas, koalas. They have a lot of weird animals there. Are koalas as rude as they say? What kind of animals do Australians, because Australians famously have like a lot of crazy

animals. What kind of American animals do they wish they had in Australia? Oh, I like that. See that they're going to get defensive about that. Okay. You're right. Well, what about roo fights? Yeah.

How do you spell roo? R-O-O. R-O-O. R-O-O. Okay. Oh, a kangaroo. Wait. we could come up with a better one or you could just type

what about roo fights and see what comes up they have a zoo in Australia that's full of normal animals this one's got raccoons and shit you know normal stuff this is a squirrel it won't even kill you at all I'm gonna do in America we have zoos filled with exotic

crazy animals in Australia do you have zoos filled with normal animals oh yeah that's a good question and that will probably make a bunch of people really mad at us which is how you get engagement on quora that's great australia one hand washes the next so jeremy's typing that up for ask australians anything uh justin i gotta thank you again for coming on the show uh we love having you here to address our quaras and exploring the wide world of quora where can our listeners find you at home and abroad i have a podcast called well there's your problem it's about engineering

disasters it's on youtube it's on wherever fine podcasts are sold uh yeah that that's my project that's what i do cannot recommend that enough if you learned anything about from his incubus answers he has a lot of like direct solutions for problems generally speaking calling the professional is a good idea it should be step one step one yes i you could try diy solutions but And, you know, again, don't try and replace an outlet on your own. Don't try and exercise your own succubus. You can take that information to the bank. And as we say every week on Quarators, question everything.

My camera just died, too. Yeah, the camera just died, too.