Quorators - Alex Bullshit Week

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: How long can you live drinking 12 beers a day? How do I keep my body smell good, especially down there? If a cow got a run-up and headbutted a man in the groin, would one of the man's balls crack in half? Could a doctor glue the two halves together again? --- Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

on my thanksgiving i i wanted to say this on the on the podcast but i did have one i have this one aunt who and maybe she's listening i don't know she loves to be like i'm watching you i know about what you're up to i'm looking at your twitter feed and um she was telling me she was like i see you doing a podcast and uh she's like with your friend carlson but every week it changes its name and i never learned what that meant i don't know okay i gotta step in defender and here i feel like if you didn't pay too close attention i kind of look like a carlson i assumed it was claire plus alex somehow yeah oh that's even that's more insane than just getting my name wrong that's clear and alex when you don't when

you're not wearing your glasses that's what it looks like does your aunt drink a lot is she like a famous drunk a little bit a little bit does she put uh uh uh uh billy billy billy dollar bills to shame the asian the chinese guy yeah uh he heart attack i'm a chinese guy what you know what i'm talking about i'm chinese billy joe this is a great this is uh you know you you've been trying to say for a while that you want to become a chinese spy we've been we're all from funing providence we've been getting emails that are like hey can i be on your podcast i'm an important person and but they clearly using ai have you seen this alex that i have not been looking we got an email from some like fucking

former politician yesterday who was like i love the way you discuss chinese relations and politics and it's like clearly the ai tried to describe alex being like i wish i was chinese so bad god if i could be two things would be chinese and billy joe that's all i want out of life and I'll never have it. This guy's not listening, right? I thought you were talking about that guy who you made us watch who drinks really fast. No, we're not getting emails from Hebe Bongzai. That's not happening.

We got an email from this former politician, Mike Gatto. I'm sorry if you're listening, Mike. I just don't really believe it. The way you tackled free trade, China, and the political motives made me realize how much your listeners appreciate candid, behind-the-scenes honesty about politics and society. Well, I think he's right about that. He's a former California assemblyman. Now I'm on a different mic. I have to watch out that I'm not peaking.

So when I'm like yelling Chinese Billy Joel stuff, that's something I have to look out for. I'll keep my eye out for that. Okay. Oh, yeah. This guy seems like he should come on here. Yeah, we got to get him on, right? He looks like the villain in a movie where children do karate.

he's like the mayor who used to be a karate star and now he's trying to make it illegal to do karate yeah we're gonna demolish the dojo and put up a money store that's what's real power he's from la he looks like a side character in a power rangers episode he's from where's he this guy she's saying where are you from california sacramento b you look even more italian than my husband he was born in la okay so i can sort of link up with this guy if you need me to yeah you should probably start trying to link up with us you should probably get connected very closely to him and kind of track his movements i don't know where he lives i'll

Mike Gatto. This is a politician. He's a former politician. He's not anymore. He stopped in 2016. He's more of a podcaster now. Kind of. Yeah, he's trying to get on Quarator.

He thinks our listeners... He's my assemblyman. No, not anymore. Oh, he grew up in Silver Lake. Okay. All right. Everyone calm down. This is really good.

This is really good stuff. So we should say for the audience... uh it is right after thanksgiving and we are trying out a remote recording situation and it does put us all on an equal footing which i find to be quite auspicious because now we all are in the computer it's not just claire true and this is core raiders cyber so that's an important equalizer but at the same time when uh i start singing my songs or uh lose myself in mike gatto's wikipedia profile i may clip the levels a little bit and for that i just want to say up front i'm so sorry that's so this is kind of the alex bullshit episode because it's like no recording

because alex didn't want to drive home now we're gonna do the alex website.com as the space of the week going home on a sunday after turkey day would be a huge fumble to put it in football terms it's the alex bullshit episode it's not the alex bullshit episode it's a normal episode i'll respect the song and with that sound of the robot we're back again here at the quarators studio coming at you live all across the u.s of a it's america's premiere quora based podcast the quarators i'm here i'm host alex here with uh jeremy kaplowitz the j man yeah what's up dog okay claire o'kane and carlson carlson and of course i'm carlson and i'm jeremy's friend who does the podcast with him but every week it has a different name uh we got some great stuff going

on for you today a lot of goings on on quora some things you're gonna love our topic for today is the world of fitness i'm not gonna go all that now after all that turkey leaves your bloodstream you're probably feeling up and at them and ready to go work on that body and so we're gonna explore the questions on quora based on this very prompt today i can't wait to get into it can i say a joke please i'd love to hear a joke don't let her say it world of uh world of fitness yeah fitness turkey sandwich in my gullet. Damn it. Another perfect joke.

Thank you for this time to tell this joke. I give my rest of the time to the room. Thank you so much. Claire leaves. She doesn't come back. Oh, boy. Carlton was lighting me the whole time. You've got to go.

I've got to do more host time. This is why I can't let Claire go off, because she's going to show me up on my alex bullshit week that i'm doing it is alex bullshit week i'm gonna call it that it's not gonna be called world of fitness it is not alex bullshit week it's world of fitness now i do happen to be qualified to speak on this as a personal trainer myself i sort of mold the world and in that i create the fitness but we have a whole bunch of good stuff for you this week every week on the show we like to start with a space on quora or because it is season

six the cyber era we sometimes go to an independent website so we got one of those pulled up today for our space of the week segment side of the week side of the week here we are our side of the week this week is an independent website called coolalextraining.com. Whoa, this one's actually really cool. Yeah. I know normally we kind of take a scathing lens at these

and kind of knock them down a peg, but we're going to have to break this one down. So if you're listening to the podcast, this is a Squarespace website. You can tell from the Favicon over here being the default Squarespace. Everything on this seems to be impact font. if you remember good old 2007

from memes. I know I do. That's the thought that we're hitting here. Impact with italics. Yeah, some italics impact. And the bold is on, I'd like to add for this independent website. Why not get Underline in there too?

Some of them have it. Keep a lookout for Underline. It seems in the middle of the website is a giant muscular snowman. That's right. Drawn by, I believe, Jeremy Hammond, your friend. Oh, nice. Our friend and yours.

The head of it is clipping right into the menu here, making it so that you cannot read that. Well, it emerges into it, doesn't it, Jeremy? Because it's an emergent platform. It's alive. Sort of the three most important tabs about book and contact, the way, I guess, cool Alex training would make money. Well, actually.

and i hate to be so you know and i will admit this is this is my personal website but i'm not to be defensive here but there is nothing on that contact page that one is useless why is it that one i think i wrote something like don't even try to contact me don't even think about it you wrote get frosty now which is on all over the website yeah you got that's where the money is is when you get there's a button that says get frosty now that redirects to book yeah it gets you to book there's also a big login button that you can hit i don't think i filled that out don't log in i just okay so when alex made this website he said this is important content alex made this website and sent it to me and i said it's funny but do you really want your

business to be funny like don't you want it to be like serious and alex said back you sound like my wife i did say that because that's what she said and if you recall 2007 that was a big thing back then my understanding is that many people have said this to alex have said uh maybe you should try making it not funny yeah they say things like why don't you go earn a living and i say the snowman has muscles and his name is the frosty one it says the frosty one on his hat his trucker cap above his sunglasses now i'd like to discuss the mascot for a second here the frosty one uh there was a lot of back and forth because i wanted him to have defined legs but um we were running into an issue where there was no way to do a snowman that didn't look like a penis yeah

and so even though he's coming out of a ball like i guess if he had legs he would just look like a white he'd look like the and one guy even if he has a carrot nose so he just has to come out of a ball which does make it look like he's like a mutilated penis a penis that has been like put through a trial all right jeremy is drawing on it here to kind of give you a what if whoa that's kind of that seems like a really good idea what jeremy just did was add legs to the bottom snowball he put feet on it too all right now he's giving him a normal penis giving him a normal long penis with a big slit yeah he looks like he could he looks like he could please a woman there's no one no one's debating that this new hung snowman that we're drawing on the

can you explain what get frosty means yeah it's when you cool it up you cool it up cool it down with the frosty one this is the main catchphrase of your business it must mean something more than you cool it down well you gotta cool down after you heat it up but that's when you get frosty because you you were working with the frosty one now one issue i do have is people think i'm the frosty one i'm not the frosty one that's the frosty one okay so i guess this is there also the last thing on this when you when you get on the homepage it says feel better all the time possible other benefits we don't we don't know what that is but that's an intrigue it creates yes oh there's more on here though like it has my certifications there scroll down we get workout

with cool alex one-on-one in-person training live in new york city you want to get frosty again we don't know what that means cool alex will make you beautiful and strong like a majestic flesh igloo again snowman motif because everything's frosty glue sort of fat right i mean it's like yeah but it's it's hard as well and it's hospitable now we're pulling up on google pictures this is like this is like we're looking at igloo i feel like it's kind of a snorlax looking kind of guy yeah that's cute and people want to look like that though or it looks like a cubert uh poking his head out i'm imagining a guy laying down he's he's his head is at the base of the igloo and he's got an arm here and an arm here and a leg here well i mean that's in your

imagination jeremy and he's kind of a big fat snorlax i would like to interject that igloos are not Snorlax, and Jeremy just likes Snorlax and is thinking about him all the time. That's not the same. Underneath it says there's a picture of your certification. Why is it moving all weird?

I put wave effect on it. It cannot be scanned. There's a QR code that is waving. And then it says, Cool Alex is a National Academy of Sports Medicine Certified Personal Trainer, Nutrition Coast. So this is all legally

above board there's a liability insurance and everything don't let anyone tell you this business is illegal in any way because it's a regular business like the gap really really laying out thick here i have a question please yes claire did you ever think maybe uh the abominable snowman that sort of sasquatch snow sasquatch could have been because then you could have that guy's got legs but i don't know evokes winter i don't own the rights to him i assume he's owned by like ge or something somebody really powerful the abominable snowman yeah the yeti rudolph ever heard of rudolph yeah i guess so close personal friend by the way what about ralph frosty the snowman frosty the snowman the most copyrighted snowman around yeah then you did that it's you

This is not frosty. Let me jump in again here. This is the frosty one. It says so on his hat. It's a completely different guy. We scroll down a little further, and we just see scrolling texts that says get frosty over and over again. And we scroll down even more, and we now have, instead of a PNG

of the frosty one, now there's just a cropped photo of him. Yeah, Jeremy said he'd make me more photos than he made, so I just cropped it. Not me, this is Jeremy Havitt, of course. This is the other Jeremy. So, now we're looking at the cropped photo where you can see his shoulders poking out. It says, when you get frosty, you remake yourself. Much like the famous snowman pictured here.

His name is the frosty one. And everyone thinks he's one cool snow cone. Especially the ladies. Now, you scroll down even more and it says, again, get frosty now. But there's no link. No. Well, maybe there should be a link there. But that's at the bottom of all the pages.

I think they're just all going to the same place where you make a consultation at the end because that's where we talk and get to know each other. That's the homepage. Let's go to about here. Let's hit the out button. A great picture. There's a photo, a selfie of Alex wearing sunglasses

where you can see the reflection of cards, I think. It's not cards. Surely it's not. What is that? I mean, it might be, but I don't think it's this. Let's inspect that. Jeremy, you should just work for the police. You know that?

Jeremy has pulled up code. He's zooming and enhancing on me. Oh, there's a baby. There's a baby. This is who you're feeding by signing up. So cute. Look at the perfect baby looking back at you while you take a selfie.

I mean, I didn't think anyone would know how to zoom this much into a photo i didn't think that was even possible so i was like why bother changing it that's so funny i don't know how you did that that was really far in it says hi i'm cool alex so that's like says who that is okay so it says hi i'm cool alex exercise is one of my many passions along with strategy laughter and of course love i've worked as a comedian for over 12 years but you know it's not funny a healthy lifestyle that passes you by can i just interject again and say really good writing that was really good wow i love the copy on this it's like don draper worked on this it's helpful that you say i've worked as a comedian for over 12 years because

that explains why it's so fucking silly well it gets into right next it sets up the next line about what's not funny which is just something i had in my back pocket there it's also important because it emphasizes again i am not the snowman the snowman's the frosty one he's a different guy but what does it mean of course it means some vague uh cooling down thing it's remaking yourself and ladies love it fitness can improve your daily outlook and overall ability to enjoy life not to mention you can get really crazy with it and look like a cartoon character if you want but you don't have to but we know which cartoon character he's talking about of course it is frosty the snowman frosty no no it's not frosty the snowman does not have cum gutters so i don't think we're trying to

look like him uh it says but you don't have to no one can make you do anything you don't want to that's the law but if you are interested we could transform your body using the tools of both science and iron will for what is iron cannot bend now alex can i ask what uh what do you mean by that what is iron can up you keep asking the dumbest question this is all extremely straight forward we're not focusing on the incredible the most helpful button on the website really well placed below here that says book a consultation which is really the only thing you could do on the whole website because again i did not fill out the login page so it's really just you tick the book tab and then you pick a time wednesday to friday because that's what i do that now we're gonna get on the

phone or the computer and talk about all your hopes and dreams whether your elbow hurts or not start blasting blast this is you lifting a baby yeah blast some personalized workouts and diet plans targeting your specific goals now that's the same baby from the sunglasses is that correct the baby from the sunglasses is not part of the website leave your old body behind as but a carapace? I don't know that word, Alex. It's an insect's shell.

Okay. That gets like molted off. Blighted by all that exists in the glorious realm of the new. Sounds like Carlton. And then this is the guy from Prometheus. These are all original characters

that I own, that I drew for the website. So it's me, it's Prometheo, I call him, and then a, well it's an italian man playing a cuban man but it could be any some sort of scar any of which he does appear to have a marking on his face there but you can just tell he makes a lot of money and that's kind of what you're going to do when you make this and who's this woman well she was

the free template and so like her picture was all over the place so i just kept her in once because i was like this is a good picture sort of brown woman calling someone on the phone and says this is a picture of you calling me i think she has her own business from what i'm led to believe yeah from the template that they gave me and then yeah it's a wide open for the big schedule and then a lot of nice tan space that's just so you feel comfortable at the bottom wow there's a lot going on i don't i don't have a big team working on updating these things so you know sometimes the tan is longer than it should be now jeremy is sending me an email on the contact me page which it says not to do unless you're going to pay me one million dollars is that what it says

for inquiries about press or or event or press opportunities please feel free to reach out here except no less than one million dollars it's the future honey that's for nice for if i'm going to sign you up for events yeah i mean what an event be that you that cool alex would train well if it's a million dollars it's probably like the g6 or something totally g7 like a g6 i was thinking of the plane what's the one where all the rich countries get together the g i think it's g7 all right that's one of the g's you know why you guys don't know either it's fine why does he look so much bigger i feel like he got bigger okay it's because he zoomed in on my baby zoom in and But now it's sort of independent.

So if you zoom out really far, like... You should put the baby in this guy's sunglasses. The baby's not in it. That's a good idea. It's not his baby. It's a frosty one. Wait, it's not his baby? It's not the frosty one's baby.

I like that there's sort of like a C plot going on the website about what is and isn't legal. I think you don't get that I am not the frosty one. The snowman is the frosty one. Right, and you're the snowman. no you're getting ahead of any sort of uh legal issues by continuing to say this is legal this is legal like the more you say it it is legal and we are all saying it cool so i think that was just a really cool website i found and i would definitely check that out if i was interested

in something like that jeremy do you have a website me no i don't have a cool website doesn't even have a website i do he's got all these go to claire's website claire okay go ahead to claire's website okay i had a regular comedy website but it was wildly unnecessary so i actually kind of took it down as well i i also have a comedy website but i don't update it ever really well claire has an album you can buy right i have an album i have a bio i have a pic without my baby and my glasses. You're not wearing glasses, so who's to say what's in front of you?

You got a Mindy Tucker picture on it, which in New York comedy is gold. I got a Mindy. You gotta have your Mindys lined up. These are some two Chinese guys I'm sitting between. Oh, that's really cool. It says you live in Brooklyn right now.

Ah, I gotta change it. Yeah, you gotta let people know you live in LA. Yeah, I actually live in Brooklyn and I don't see you around. there. I got my pilot. I got a pilot I wrote. This is some good stuff. Is this you, Claire? Is this a cartoon

of you? That is a cartoon of me for some Vice show. Cool. This is what Claire's contact page looks like. My manager, who I will probably fire soon. And you can

keep that in. My agent, who recently quit i don't think i have an agent anymore oh damn i've been hearing this a lot recently i think uh sam ruddy was posting about how her uh manager quit the industry recently agents and managers they're quitting it's a bad sign for the entertainment industry that they're all quitting or they're becoming like influencer uh managers basically like they're specifically helping content creators and not

comedians. They should become fitness experts. That's what I did. They should fit fitness sandwich in my hole. Come on. Fitness sandwich. There's no need to be lewd on the podcast. Your manager listens to this.

This is his favorite show. We should go on Quora.com. We should. Again, the theme is world of fitness. We got a great Quora CoraMD pulled up. It's CoraMD. After exercise, I have a feeling of throwing up.

I left the gym because of that reason. How do I get out of fear of vomiting? Now, it does not say how do I get out of fear of vomiting. It says how to get out of fear of vomiting. How to get out of fear of vomiting. I'm just saying it's written in the best way to use the website, which is I was going to Google this, but i decided to put it on quora instead we did ask last week or i guess two weeks ago in the

podcast world if you own an island say little saint james island for example are you indeed king of it and we got a ton of very serious answers about how no it's part of um virgin islands us virgin islands already well we round it we read it off air what's important is that they are mad at us yeah they got mad at us immediately why are you mad at me i'm just asking questions on the questions website who's this guy um someone posted a picture of james strang not unless this guy gets people aren't people to say you are a guy named james strang tried but discovered he didn't have enough loyalty to be king after joseph smith was murdered there wasn't an obvious leader of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints and while most ended

up going west with brigham young and the quorum quorum of the 12 apostles some followed a man named james strang strang went more insular direction you get strang well good for him this is huge that's a lot of it a lot of history i i hope he was the king of getting strang i'd suck him off under a bridge now back to if you throw up so how to get out of fear of vomiting is the question uh you gotta just leave that fear behind and what you one way you can do that is to exercise harder i think because because if you build your body you build your spirit to build the spirit build the mind defeat vomiting become frosty we're just sticking back with the cool alex it's our back to get frosty i thought we were we were gonna be done but that's how you get

frosty i left the gym because i mean i it does i i've have you guys ever thrown up after exercising I've wanted to. I don't throw up. It's like a problem of mine. You don't throw up ever? I only throw up if I get like dangerously sick. You have so much throw up stuck in you. Yeah, it's all in my pipes.

And it's probably going to kill me. But the point is- Do you ever throw up drinking? You love it. Well, that's what I'm saying, Jeremy, is I think I just have drank so much that like I've trained my body not to barf when it should. and so like i drink too much and then just sit on the poison which is probably worse than just

getting it out of you i only throw up if i have a fever of like 103 so yeah i haven't thrown up from too much exertion um i've had my kneecap popped out of the socket that's painful that's like my knee throwing up no no no it's like the bone throwing up it throws itself up it's like your knee taking off its hat yeah i think it's similar to that and sort of just doffing its cap because it did pop right back into place afterwards. But upon seeing a fine bird on the street, perchance. It's m'lady'd. Does your baby throw up?

Yeah, of course she throws up. Babies throw up all the time. What's up with that? Well, she has a very weak esophageal sphincter, doesn't she? Ew. The closing part between her tummy and her throat, it is no there until you get a little older she's a lot better now um but yeah for a while all they do is throw up and it's milk mostly let's read this answer from gurikat sing gurkirat sing read

it gurkirat sing this normally happens post too much exertion i've experienced similar feeling a couple of times after a high intensity interval training session and thrown up two times what happens is during such sessions due to some reason, maybe because of so much jumping of digestive organs and juices, our body rejects food or water intake for some time. Or if there's food in the stomach before workout, it gets all messy as well. The important thing to know is that majority of the times it's completely normal. I'm not sure if you have any medical condition, your workout routine, pre and post workout eating and water intake timings, etc. So most of what saying or going to say is based on my experience and then he's like yeah you should eat earlier

and not drink a ton of water so those are all fine choices as well but i would say double down you got to push yourself to the limit you should be throwing up every time you work out or else you should be throwing up every time you did it yeah otherwise that should be like your marker that it was a good workout i ran cross country as a kid in high school and i almost threw up after a race because i was sprinted really hard at the end of a 5k and that was like the kind of attitude our coaches had was like you should always be throwing up because that's how you know you left it all on the field kind of attitude that's why i put my hit hit train i used to take hit classes a lot and uh she she pushed she pushed me to the limit oh she hit you she hit me oh she

hit me the class was to learn how to dodge the hit i agree with that i 100 agree with that what I was going to say is cross-country. How many states? Oh, that's pretty funny. That's pretty good. Edit that so it came at a good time instead of now. Sorry. So it was funny.

I'll see what I do. I don't know if that would have made a difference. Jeremy, go back and make this funny. This is Alex Bullshit Week. You can zoom into the funny part. I just saw you do it on the computer. With code. that's so cool you know how to do that i know how to inspect element it's pretty much drawn in here

you can do anything look at this check this out you can you can highlight this shit and then you can you can go like this and you can say can you change it alex bullshit week and then it says what you can't do that you can't do that on the web because then you go like this you screenshot out it is this how you do your famous trick screenshot and then you post it on twitter and you say i found this this is real and people go oh no that's a real thing if i tried to do what you just did it would take me the entire weekend seriously you can do whatever you want man the internet's your oyster it is my oyster i agree with that okay well we can move on to the next question i feel like we answered this one we got some other good ones here here's another question

how long can you live drinking 12 beers a day you probably live for the first time in your life yeah about uh 15 hours straight um now that you've unleashed the beast you probably i think so your liver is gonna pickle unfortunately my dear but you will have a sweet run up through that i'd say if you started uh and you're relatively young maybe like 18 months i don't know what would you guess of 12 years a day i think you can live a pretty long time on i think you could live probably to your 80s i mean i think a lot of i mean maybe not probably 160 i think unfortunately or maybe not unfortunately but a lot of that shit is genetic and um you know you have to be built different it's just gonna come down to

if whether or not you're built different but it does seem like uh maybe it would kill you earlier Maybe like 50s or 60s, I would guess. I think it depends on, do you smoke cigarettes? I think it depends on, are you doing it alone or with friends? Because I think, as we all know, friends leads to longer life. Keep you alive. Keep you alive. Yeah, that's true.

That's what all the studies say. What kind of beer is it? What kind of beer is it? We talk about IPA. Is it a lager? 12 stouts every day? Exactly. My friends Claire and Jeremy keep me alive.

We keep you healthy. Every week. And they keep me. i keep them frosty that's what i do have you ever heard the thing of like um sometimes like smokers are actually like less likely to die of uh yes they're pokers they're less likely to die of lung cancer because like they're checking it way more often whereas like if you're not a smoker you're like i don't need to be scanning my lungs for cancer and then it's like there's something to that yeah they get it i'm so scared i have one of the sleeper cancers that gets you or you don't

feel it at all until it's too late because there's like it's like millions of dollars to check if you have it so you can't like go do it i sometimes i go to the doctor and i'm just like just tell me if it's over just tell me if i got it and she's like ah you seem fine it is crazy they don't just do that every time you go to the doctor it's just like can i do my cancer check they have that shit at the tsa just let me walk through there that's actually a cancer uh giving device yeah it gives you cancer it's like the hyperbolic time uh chamber in that like it's a very powerful machine but you can only use it once or twice or more if you fly often oh hey this is an important public service announcement if you fly even domestically in america you need a real id now yeah if you get

to the front of the line i was going to new orleans and i had my new york id and i was like here's my normal driver's license because i'm going to another state and they were like this is illegal now and i have a big gun uh i was just well i just looked at them and i was like what what do i do and they just like kind of gave me a note and put me through but it was scary because then i flew to a different state and i was like i hope they do that again and don't strand me in louisiana that shit's so stupid your um password all the time now or get a real id and that costs money they're making everybody pay like 80 bucks or whatever what makes it real So you know how on your ID, if you look at the photo, it's a drawing of a muscular snowman?

Yeah. The real ID will use a picture of your face. Oh, I don't want that. And then you know how there's always a hologram element? You can see the little baby in the corner. Or if you look at the light, you can see a little baby. Oh, that's cute. I would rate this answer by KPC.

It's kind of a live update on a lived experience. KPC says 54 male, first time heavily buzzed 13, social drinking, sometimes very heavy for a night, every so often 15 to 40, drinking in solitude with alcoholic friend 42 to 52, initially three to four beers a day, progressing to 18 drinks a day, wine, then vodka. So he's already beat my estimation by doing that for 10 years.

Three to four a day. No, but he progresses to 18 with wine vodka. Yeah, fair enough. I think when I was guessing, I was actually overvaluing 12 beers. Because 12 beers, you could be like, if you're leaving Las Vegas, you've got to be like multiple bottles of a liquor. It's like way more drinks. First 911 call, age 50, two to three weeks in the hospital,

then three months in physical rehab, and then clean and sober. Then released five months later, relapse lasted six months, M&M. remember that remember he had all the pills on the on the cover i mean that was that was hard for all of us second 9-1-1 call six weeks in hospital due to physical deterioration severe pneumonia requiring intubation and ventilation oh that's frosty i i'm not trying to harp on it i just don't think i know what it means well it's it can mean a lot of things can't it it can mean you're cold it can mean you're hot all right anyway it keeps going and it sounds like he gets sick a bunch more times and then uh then who knows he's still alive when he does the post

yeah this was um in august this guy lives in uh in new york let's get the state new york uh empire state of mind drink three more times in the last three days we don't know how old he is in the last 13 days he's 54 oh okay oh yes of course 54 male he's 54 realistically if you drank 13 beers or 12 beers every day i don't think you're making it much past 50 or 60 well it shows what you know because kpc is about to do it kpc we're gonna follow you much love brother i just want to yeah track his life yeah track his life click track his life uh someone asked what is your go-to beer when you're off the clock he says mixture black and tan guinness now a lot of us already knew what that was because we're really smart um but it is interesting that

in between his like i'm a deadly alcoholic post he is like what's my favorite it's mixing too does that taste good to mix them that's fun i've never done it it's interesting that he answered this because then he must have been looking around about like hmm what are people saying about beer these days yeah just google beer i'm gonna just search beer yeah we're gonna core a beer here real quick uh cool is beer good for health working at caleb beers i'm caleb you should probably not take anything i say too seriously that's cool get caleb wait go back to is beers good for health is beers good for health is beers good for health okay we got some answers here there's a lot of answers on this one it has antioxidants and nutrients

the big beer theory okay it's a big bang theory but it says the big beer theory what if the whole universe was made of beer the theory is a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first this natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members in much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells excessive intake of alcohol as we all know kills brain cells but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest cells first in this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain

cells making the brain a faster and more efficient machine wow this is something a drunk posts on the internet which is something that i think could be explored he also posts at two beer it says i don't want to read that he's literary i want to hear more from the people who drink 18 beers a day or you know beers a day you know how caesar said at two brutus yes he's saying that to beer look this guy's name wellington muz wellington says i drink 18 beers a day for many years probably 25 to 30 years the cardiologist asked me during my week in icu how i could be so specific with the amount per day i told him i purchased two 12 packs of 16 ounce beers every other day it's gonna add up wellington so when i take my vacation my general practitioner determined i was an afib

with a heart rate of 184 beats per minute and was not controlled. I was determined that I had sleep apnea and type 2 diabetes. I would become constipated just from putting on my shoes. The final determination was that obesity combined with excessive drinking in the evenings led to those conditions.

I was told that if I didn't stop drinking and lose some weight, I would die just like my dad did. I was 55 years old. And weighed 335 pounds. I'd like to interject again. You will die like your dad did. There's no way around that.

Well, sure. I mean, I think young. Oh, I'm just saying all that is born must come to an end, my dear. Iron cannot bend. It seems like iron cannot bend and get frosty. It seems like that if you, around the 50s is when things really start to hit. That's when your body's like, oh, fuck, you drink too much, bitch. Yeah, you dumb bitch.

When you're in your 50s, that's when things get nifties. That's what I'm trying to say. also like beer is is is it not just bad for you because it's alcohol but it's also just like an unhealthy drink like it's like eating a loaf of bread every day it's a lot of bread jeremy are you also a nutrition coach because that's something i might say i've been certified legally i've actually i'm just a comedian of 12 years oh what me too man that's what are the odds of that just such a bright young man let's let's move on i think the answer is you're not gonna live that long how do i keep my body smell good especially down there down where how do i keep my

body smell good this is kind of an interesting conundrum because fitness keep your body so tight but also it don't smell so good what is this little light bulb what do you mean look at this top answer there's a light bulb at the top of it is this an ai indication that's got to be an ai right it says routine washing doesn't help consider medical causes or microbiome approaches i think the ai is like summarizing this guy's answer that the ai is like the p diddy to paul hume's biggie smalls response exactly to the question that's exactly you know when you listen to a biggie smalls song and like uh in between the verse p diddy comes on he's like i know that's true and stuff like that.

Can you read Paul Hume's answer in a Biggie Smalls voice? I don't think I can. I don't think I'm allowed to. Do I have the capacity to do such a thing? Sure. Sure I do. Come on, get frosty. In some ways, actually, it's important not to get frosty

against certain dead young men. Okay, what about if it's not in his voice, it is Cadence. Oh. That's his voice. That's good. I just meant rap it,

but I mean, sure. No, no, no. Why don't I try reading it normal and we'll see if it is actually a little poetic when we get through it. I think you should rap it. oh a very straight a very straightforward lover once remarked to me if men would wash it more

often they'd get it sucked more often that is something i think biggie smalls might say too so now that actually i've read it back to the answer now if the problem is that your groin area gets smelly very quickly after bathing leaving aside that a quick shower before sex is still a good idea some thoughts if you wear tight underpants especially synthetic fabric switch to looser cotton ones possibly boxers rather than jockeys let things breathe if you spend a lot of time sitting like at a desk get up and shake out again keep sweat from depositing and get him funky let it evaporate oh should i find like an instrumental to play a powder like gold bond keeps both keeps things drier and fights odor um and then so you may you might

have a fungal infection it says at the bottom so that these are all good suggestions i think if you smell bad down there i didn't include that it didn't say that if you wash it more often you might get it sucked more often you might get it if you're if trouble is often then being sucked is awesome biggie smalls the big thing was doing a lot of slant rhymes was kind of but like say him in a row in a way that sounds cool and i don't think you need to like freestyle i just wanted you to wrap the the answer he's like debatably the best to ever do it is the thing and so there's no expectations no there is expectations there is expectations that i'm pretty much gonna be the next biggie smalls if i do this and so i can't do it the question is by

chick chick chick belly boom chick chick belly boom um the other their other question is why would a guy ask me why you're not interested in me even though we've been talking for a few days only yet he replies late but tells me good morning every

day and eat well think emoji think emoji chick chick belly boom chick chick belly boom and it seems like they live in France they know Arabic they know French this is a beautiful French woman chick chick belly boom how do i keep my body smell good i think the answer is like shower shake it off it says

wolfman answered we have an answer from wolfman yeah wolfman says for me i am urinary incontinent and in diapers 24 7 i stay completely shaved down there as pubic hair does retain smell even after showering i use good quality bacterial soap powder made for adults not baby not baby powder Now what works for me and may not work for everybody Has a different body chemistry Wolfman pissing That's a wolfman He's incontinent

Okay I think what's interesting about this because you know I haven't particularly focused on this issue Before is it seems like the people who have A long lasting issue often have A microbiome misbalance or something that stinks up the place

on a science level. And you gotta go to the lab to fix it. That makes sense. You know what makes you stink? What? 12 beers a day. That's true, too. If you're having 12 beers a day, you should stop doing that for your stink. I agree with that.

It's not gonna make you smell any better. It's gonna make you fart a lot. If a cow got a run-up and head-butted a man in the groin, would one of the man's balls crack in half could a doctor glue the two halves back together again so this is kind of fitness because it's you know i guess like sexual fitness this is um alex after trauma no no it's not it's the world of fitness man's balls cracking i don't think balls can crack really yeah they can they have to be hard they have to be hard they're kind of soft

Well, what if I have a huge bone and then a cow ran up and head butted me in my groin? But I'm like so hard, even my balls are hard. Does that happen to you usually? Yeah, I'd say they get hard. Anyway, I don't know if I have cancer and they won't tell me. But yeah, I think like we get squished. Do you ever get testicular cancer paranoia? Yes, all the time.

i was when i was in college i got that real bad before i knew that it's like pretty just you're just like you have anxiety and i was like i have a cyst i'm gonna fucking die and i was like you know what i'll go to the doctor but by the time i got to the doctor it had basically gone away so basically just like went to a doctor and was like can you kind of just look around my ball sack for a little bit and he was like i couldn't find anything and i was like all right never mind and i went home why you just shuffle around down there just tell me what you think um i had a neighbor growing up who uh got cancer he got testicular cancer when he's like 20 and i found this out when i was like 30 and i had literally never thought about it before and then i spent

like the next two years being like i just know i got it i don't know what because you don't like really like check on your balls like that to the point where you're like i know the layout or whatever uh and then uh it just feels like something must be wrong and so the mind is a ball sack of sorts look at this look at this um related question what if spider-man was in dragon ball super wow do you guys want to answer that question you want to answer that question so bad huh i well i do know the answer wondering what it would be like i know that he would certainly be in the interdimensional tournament that all the gods fight in but i can't answer it because i'm working on this ball nut and half question all the all the spider-man villains are

kind of animals and yeah all the characters involving and dragon and ball super are kind of animals yeah there's a dog universe where everyone's a dog and a bunch of cat people right yeah and well there's cat people as well um again i can't what's a run-up cow got a run-up oh so it's when you get you know you get one on I think they literally mean just running up you get some momentum going it's a run up

Claire you've never got a run up are you calling me a cow oh shit I'm just saying look at Claire oh no she's always on one and I could see you getting some momentum

and really knocking somebody down You know what I mean? You get a run-up going and just taking them down. You never do that? Nah. You took that class where people ran up at you, and you had to dodge them. And I had to dodge them.

I had to dodge the hit. I dodged the run-ups. Yeah. It was taught by Patches O'Houlihan. Sad. From the hit film Dodgeball. Oh, yeah, Patches O'Houlihan. Grab life by the balls.

That's really good. I'm Vince Vaughn. I rewatched that recently. It holds up. It kind of does hold up. It does hold up. i stand by it i think of all the movies of that era zoolander holds up the most and now to answer this question there's three answers actually the first one is from a software engineer

whose name is alex well it's not me though all right alex wrap this one like biggie i am not wrapping any answers ever like biggie it's just never gonna happen it's not something i feel comfortable doing i'm gonna read the answer all right all right all right what i can tell you for certain would not happen is that the man's testicles would not crack in half like walnuts i'm not sure how familiar you are with testicles but they're made of meat not porcelain i guess they are made of meat well they're not made of porcelain jeremy so cracking or fracturing is not the operative verb here unless maybe the man was frozen in liquid nitrogen first whoa this guy's a software engineer austin power style it says that he's not just inferring that he's an actual

software engineer uh to finish the post if you want to get a better mental model of an injury caused by a severe blunt force trauma to the groin imagine smashing grapes with a hammer or don't i would also respect your choice to refrain from imagining that alex that was pretty funny and informative upvote for you sir and then there's a comment from eric platt that says not the sort of thing i expected to read on quora today a grand surprise eric platt's a phd in mathematics Can you flatten a ball? Like... Can you flatten it?

I know they can get kind of... If they lose the center, like if it loses all the air inside. The center will not hold. You can probably do it. If the falcon cannot hear the falconer, then you can flatten a ball. I guess this guy Alex is known for his hilarious Quora comedy, because there's another answer here that says, of your answers I have read, this is the funniest.

Perhaps the only funny one I've read so far. And so he's taking him down a little bit, actually. Let's go to his profile real quick. Alex Eustace. He's wearing a little, what kind of hat would you call this? Some sort of like Indiana Jones style hat. Indiana Jones hat. It's like a big fedora kind of.

I'd say it's a grand archaeologist hat. He's answering a lot of questions. he's talking about uh being non-binary not him but in general he's answering questions about math a lot of math questions they don't seem that funny well he's like a a sarcastic quora user he tells it how it is he's from oregon yeah i mean i respect what he does he has some cool questions like the presidential pardon is a free pass to commit any federal crime you want as long as you're friends with the president this is obviously repugnant to the rule of law why hasn't have been abolished great question a grand question alex well done alex bravo back to the

you're showing some great mental fitness the theme of our week there's um two two answers need improvement yes it is possible and david jones you ask such profound questions not really you must be really bored damn i do not like when they look up who is the question asker it feels like a violation that's our job that's what we do i know well we kind of violate them that way i guess jones he has a lot actually almost all of his questions seem to be about hitting in the balls and shitting and seeing what happens oh maybe it's jim carrey i think this might be claire sorry no it's not claire sorry it's me david jones i've been trolling your ass i'm trolling your podcast you gotta run up and slammed my podcast

is that david bowie's real name what's his real name wow good job jeremy thank you so there's all kinds of trivia in this episode let's go back let's do one more i feel like i got some good ones in there We've been in Quora MD for years. Yeah, for years and years. There's all kinds of other stuff. Do you want to do a Quartz? Touchdown.

Score. Do you hate NFL players in tight white pants as much as I do? They look like fat male ballet dancers. Takes me out of the game. I don't hate it at all. I think it's kind of crazy. I ain't mad at it. as someone who doesn't really watch football i think like one of the most memorable parts is

that i watch it and i'm like these guys look like fat male ballet dancers it's amazing yeah i'm not really sure what they mean by that do they wear white tight white pants here's the thing about football is that they do all the replays in slow motion so you see their whole bodies jiggle when they slam into each other that aspect is true and i think that's what he means is he's watching them jiggle like that i like that that's a little something for the ladies they're wearing pads though it's not like they're they've padded pants on account of their bullets that they've run into each other their pants aren't really like padded though yeah it's padded look at that yeah they're doing run-ups they're definitely doing run-ups i mean the claire this is a great example of a run-up

this is exactly what i was picturing um anyway it doesn't bother me i like it that's kind of my favorite part of football sort of the tight tight tight little pants you can see their butts yeah you're watching all like that you hate to watch them leave but you love to watch them walk away um okay elisa greens of the same thing as claire which is that uh why you don't like to watch a bunch of big sweaty men in spandex chasing each other around on possible sarcasm sarcasm she lives in finland wine and flammable things i didn't know they had people like this in finland what do you mean i would say they're all like this probably yeah i didn't know they had like hashtag random girls in finland i thought it was kind of a a place of severe sirens i guess

she has her own space called the ramblings of elisa green oh and an alien picture picture ramble ramble ramble post thoughts ideas brain farts hobbies whatever this is the correct website by the way there's a picture of invader zim yeah oh yeah invader zim in there okay this is what i mean though like i didn't know they had these over there it's just a place to ramble you me the weirdo in the tree and then a picture of invader zim they have they have random girls that's pretty crazy i they might even have ger over there who's invader zim's friend jeremy's trying to own this girl so hard even though she's the sweetest little gumdrop i ever did see all right elisa we salute you i'm gonna move elisa defense squad log on defend elisa

from Jeremy, who's trying to zoom on her and look at her glasses and see her baby. Hey, man, it's not a Weesa bullshit week. It's not anybody's bullshit week. It's World of Fitness. Thought we decided that. This is Claire's Got the Blues

episode. I can't wait to decide what I'm going to name this episode on. Somebody stole Claire's catalytic converter. Now she's suicidal. uh there's the answer to this is i suppose that all caps they do actually look like fat ballet dancers white and tight are never colon all right thanks it keeps going i can't read this whole thing i think it's like a cheer i don't i don't know if it's a cheer but it is a thrill to read jack scott says you never played we play for the love of the game remember when we

were kids did we care what we looked like no we played the game that was what it was all about that's a motherfucking fact jack up vote for you huge up vote for jack jack's the mvp of the thread whoa that's what that's the kind of attitude we're looking for over at coolalextraining.com slash book why is this episode an ad for you well maybe it's just a good place to have an ad for a show that does not generally have ads, but you can support on Patreon.com slash Quarators. The question is from Donald

and his spaces are Leftist Viewpoints and The Resistance and Cuckold Johnny Space. Oh, Donald. An easy going space to chat about anything cuckold. And there's 1.2 thousand people in there, so maybe we could maybe check that out

sometime. Let's definitely save Let's save this one. This is maybe a space to go to. Cuckold Johnny's space. By the time we revisit it, I think maybe it'll be popping off. Let's do this final sports question. Let it grow. During water sports, how detectable is the THC level in the recipient?

So like water ski, surf. I imagine water sports. I was thinking water polo. The only thing I can think of is surfing the world's biggest wave, in which case the thc level is evident in the smear you leave at the bottom of the wave and they love thc in that community i mean they do they um community they shred it up i mean claire would know well this this is actually um referencing pissing on people what was that is it oh is it i didn't even i'm sorry guys i didn't even catch that i thought this was a sports

question that's why it's in quarts yeah a lot of the people in the answers kind of seem to be confused as well i thought we were talking about like if you're gonna do a boogie board or something someone says hopefully enough to win the race everyone's a nerd in this uh these answers water sports is you know how detectable is the thc level and the recipient the recipient is usually drinking perhaps drinking the piss of somebody else or they're just getting pissed on

and maybe like the skin is sort of taking in the piss so to rephrase the question I did not understand why they were bringing up a recipient but this does make more sense good thing Claire is here to just save the whole internet for a second

so do you think that this is a this is the two scenarios I can imagine one is uh someone pissing on their partner but the partner doesn't want them to smoke so much so they're like kind of hiding it and now they're pissing in their mouth and the partner's like wait a second this tastes like weed yeah they're getting in trouble the other one is their partner has a big drug test at work so they haven't been smoking weed for two months and their partner but the other one is he's smoking weed all the time and he's like i'm gonna piss in your mouth because

we both love jacking off to this and they're like but this might ruin my drug test if i drink all your pot piss right all the drug testing that you do at work oftentimes like you pee into that little vial but then your boss drinks the pee so if there's any thc in it they can taste that right away because it tastes like a bunch of scooby snacks in there that's a bummer i don't think you can i don't think you can detect it i'm trying to think is it like uh it's stored in the fat i know that thc stored in the fat yeah because when you're breastfeeding like uh they tell you you not to uh smoke any weed because unlike alcohol that goes out through your you know blood and everything uh that it stays in your milk for a while just real quick the person who

asked this question is the coolest looking guy i've ever seen his name is robert blong oh do you mean robert blong and uh his photo is him uh he's like a fully bald guy with like he's like somebody drawing vin diesel from memory if he was a robot robert blong These two questions he's asked are particularly depressing. Wait, what happened to his other question? Wait, is this question added by Robert Blanc, but it's not there? Oh, my God. He had it deleted.

Robert. His other ones are about the bank. Right. Well, it sounds like he went to jail for not paying something. So I think perhaps he needs to take drug tests for his probation or whatever. a narrative is emerging and he's maybe drinking he's drinking piss

if it feels so right then it can't be Blong nice thank you I think that's the show I think that's the show give it up everybody that's Quarators that's the show

wow we sure had a lot of fun here today on World of Fitness which is what the episode is called and that's what it'll be when you look it up on youtube.com home of the video

if you want more Alex's bullshit head to patreon.com slash quarators where you can get another bonus episode every damn week right or if you want like a shredded core go to coolalextraining.com slash book hey man try to get frosty over there yeah if you want to read my two pilots

go ahead go to clareok.com i think you can read claire's pilot but you also have to like just pay me money at some point when you do that you gotta like yeah at some point it's a linked business i don't know maybe you read it and you venmo me that could be how it works we're gonna work out how it works thank you so much for listening uh have a pleasant tomorrow and i kiss you