Quorators - Are British Teenagers As Horrible As They Seem On Television? w/ Ben Wasserman

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: As a Muslim, what can I contribute for converting Norway to Islam? My neighbor keeps spying on me. He stands at his window with binoculars and watches my house all day and all night. He never sleeps. What can I do about this? I'm 15 and only smoke two cigarettes per day. How can I prove to my mom this is safe and I barely even smoke? ----- Go see Ben in your town: https://www.benwassermancomedy.com/deathshow Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show on http://youtube.com/@quorators Listen to Alex's audio drama series Theater of Delights  https://soundcloud.com/theaterofdelights/sets/season-5-gran-nidorino

Ready? You're humping. Knock that off. You're humping. Yeah, I'm... Shocking. Actually, you know like how Michael Jackson was like really good before how bad he was? Um, yeah. Yeah.

It's because he worked hard and he did stuff like that. All right, yeah, fair enough. And so, like, you've got to do that. Yeah, you're kind of like Michael Jackson. Yeah, but like 1992 and also only the parts we knew about then. I don't think you want to be even the parts we knew about. 1988? How far back do I got to go?

He was abused as a child. Before I was just a little boy. You could be a cute little boy in a bed. You could be a cute little... I did just see a picture of Alex as a cute little boy in his mother's home. Don't say that on the show. I'm sorry. I don't want that on here.

We're starting again. Nah, I'm just playing. Hey, welcome back to Quora. It's the only show that asks, what is Quora? We're here. You're your hosts, Alex and Jeremy. What's up? How's it going?

Hey, I'm Jeremy's friend, Alex. We got a hell of a show for you today. This is an amazing guest. You've probably... Yeah, yeah, yeah, go. go you probably lived no what stop people are always doing comedy about the love of life but very few are doing it about their love of death at funeral homes across america and that except for our guest today the famous ben wasserman welcome famous ben comedian ben wasserman alex

is trying to get a job as like a headline writer for local news yeah my job is currently Ben's opener in heaven. Yeah, these are equally as bad as any of those. You've heard of six feet under. What about six laughs per second? That's right. At a funeral home. Yeah, I'm trying to get a better job.

My current job is Ben's opener around New England. Somebody took a picture with me, like a podcast fan came out. Shout out to Brett, by the way, in New Hampshire. What up, Brett? Thanks for coming to the show. I didn't, like, he didn't say I'm a podcast fan. He was like, can I get a picture? And I was like, yeah, you want a picture with Ben's opener?

Yeah, he did not ask for a picture with me. No. At all. Why would they? Before or after. He's got your poster in his room. He doesn't need the picture. I am imagining, well, I'm imagining the Scott Pilgrim poster,

but with you as Scott Pilgrim. What do you think about that? I would kill for Michael Cera's money. I would kill for it. Yeah. And he was in Arrested Development, too. What a franchise. He was in a lot of stuff.

he's such a talent he owns a nick and nora yep he owns taco restaurants he owns taco restaurants yeah oh yeah he gets it oh he's in that season of curb right did everyone in jash just start buying taco restaurants is that what happened i have no idea follow-up question did anyone ever watch jash or was that just like a marketing i knew about jash but i think it was just for like comedians to know about it was just for me to know like apply to i started a guild system I had a development deal with Jash. Did you? And then it went belly under.

Yeah, it sucked. They had me for five features and three web series. A development deal with Jash is a fantastic inside comedy. It fucking fell apart at the end here. It was miserable. Oh, well, we did not have any of Jash here today. We have comedian Ben Wasserman. It's the fucking yellow t-shirt gang over here.

No one invited me. Yeah, we didn't plan this. bees in the hive bees in this buzz bitch buzz buzz i feel like a fucking idiot no no you're you ground our that's true disastrous choice to match ben you spent a lot of time on the road but keep those feet off camera that's for the fucking i'm gonna zoom through that i'm gonna that's for the bonus you're not gonna see these um blur up i have to learn so many new features There's an Adobe Premiere every week. Yeah, yeah.

You ever spend any time on Quora? Do what? You ever go on Quora? Oh, spend so much time on the road. Do you ever spend time on Quora? When I'm, like, bored and stuff and, you know, waiting for the show. It's the questions website. I would say, yeah, no, I know what Quora is.

Okay. I feel like I'm always on Quora accidentally. Sure. Yeah. I feel like it's a thing where you ask Google a question. Yeah. And then Google's like, here's my opener. Hey, here's my fucking opener.

You want to take a picture of that asshole? yeah exactly why don't you screenshot this shitty fucking answer it does have the same feeling as like google is too tired to answer your question today buddy go talk to my friend over here he's not knowledgeable google doesn't know if it's okay your mom did that here's his friend i'm never willfully on quora okay you don't get the emails i don't get the emails well maybe after today you will because don't sign me up first of all i have your email the dives i do up oh no second of all we're gonna read you a lot of quarters you're gonna get hooked on these i'm i'm excited for that because i've been looking for a new addiction you're gonna be

addicted to them so uh the way that we open the show is uh we bookend it by asking a quora and at the beginning beginning of the show we see who has answered our court now we are banking a lot of these this week before i go on a trip so there's a good chance no one has answered our quora and And we'll just have to shake our head about it. But the question was. I can't even find it. Where is it? Cora took it down.

What is the greatest sin in Islam? What is the greatest sin in Islam? Somehow that one doesn't have any. You know what? There's a lot of similar questions. Oh, it does have. Wait, somebody said joining Islam. That's not true.

That can't be. That is not true at all. These are all hidden under answers that need improvement. So there's four answers here. Well, I'd say that one needs a lot of improvement. This is from one of our listeners whose job is cheating on my wife. Oh, sick. He wrote, having bacon with your scrambled eggs.

I have a question mark. He's not even sure about it. And again, if you must answer our questions, please use the code word scrambled eggs. Selena Polino said, thinking magic is real. Come to think of it, that's the greatest sin in all religions. No, it's not. Selena Polino, you silly girl. No, it is.

When you think that magic is real instead of God's power? Is that worse than murder? Magic is done by men. Miracles are made by God. That's true. Do you remember this scene in Prince of Egypt? Yeah.

When the pharaohs turn to snakes and they sing a song? Of course. And then Moses, I think he eats the snakes or something. He does some great feats. The pharaoh has sinful wizards and then Moses uses Jewish magic to defeat them.

No. No, he can't do that. Moses channels God and says, hey, it's Aram. Does it not seem like six of one, half dozen of the other? Yes, exactly. But we're not religious folk. I suppose. We believe in magic because we're not religious.

It's two different magic systems if you've played like Elden Ring or something. Okay, so it's like miracles versus caster magic. Versus sorcery. Faith versus sorcery. You know, I can think of one guest we have on sometimes who would hate this question, and that's Muslim Jeremy. Oh, God. And people keep writing in and asking for this guy to show up.

He has not appeared one time. Not once. We don't even know what his catchphrase is. I don't think we'd want to know. I think it's a, I refuse to do it. It's just a black screen. Yeah, it's actually a great sin to depict Muslim Jeremy. It's the greatest sin of curators.

But we are waiting for him to return our e-mails. Well, that's that question. Well, a bunch of bigots showed up, like we thought. So that's what we wanted. Yeah, you invited them. We invited them in. Hey, here's a space to write. There are so many other questions you could have asked,

but you did ask one that was good for the bigots to come. Well, we had been talking about Master Chief for a while. Also, we hadn't gotten an answer in a long time, so I think we were kind of just like, let's just poke the fucking bear. Literally anything. We need something to happen. They're going to have what?

But they're going to have two hours after we write the one at the end of this to get in. So we're going to have to think of some real bait there. Get back to me on that. But in the meantime, we found some great questions for Ben. Ben is an expert in many fields, and we're here to test him and all of his talents and gifts. And so the first is, as a great thinker and mind, and that is, of course, our famous segment, The Quiz Course. This is our politics segment. Oh, okay, perfect.

So we're going to do some politics questions. You're involved in local politics, Ben. I know, yeah. I know the inner workings of the New York City. Do you know about James Madison? The Prez? Yeah. Yeah.

I just call him James. I just call him the Prez. I think we use that theme for the history one, too. Who cares? I don't think anyone is disturbed by that. It's kind of like a lot of overlap there. but this first question is going to shake you to your core. Yeah, so this is a politics question from Ace in our Discord.

We're going to get into some constitutional stuff. Shooters, what would you do if someone said they didn't like guns and prefer not to be around them? I'm not talking about someone pushing gun control or trying to take away your guns. Would you blow them away? So would I blow someone away if they didn't like guns? Well, this is for shooters.

Well, I am a shooter. We're all shooters. I always have a blower on me. Yeah, you have to have that thing on you. Yeah, and I guess if someone said, hey, I don't really like gun violence. Not about gun control or anything. I don't want to take them away.

Do your thing. If that's your thing, go out. I get you need it, but yeah, I'd pop a hot one into their fucking temple. Just right boom. Yeah, you want to see that spray. Yeah, I want to see. Don't challenge me.

Yeah. Oh, you don't like that. What? Don't you like this? Pa, pa, pa. Yeah. Frat-a-tat, frat-a-tat-a-tat. Wow.

Well, one thing that's interesting about this is it's in the politics segment, and it's yet inherently apolitical because it says this is not for political reasons. This is just someone who said they don't like guns normal. Yeah. Normal style. And would you blow them away? I have a normal style dislike of guns. If somebody was like, ah, I could take them or leave them, you'd be like, pa, pa.

Yeah. This is also in the Quora section, America's Gun Club. Right. So that's a certain audience there. Sure. Definitely a specific audience. It's like going on Quorators and asking if they like scrambled eggs. Pretty much exactly the same as that.

People are pretty offended by this question. I would guess that, yeah. That makes a lot of sense to me. Hey, are you willing to murder people? Here's someone being sarcastic. Lamar says, you got it, Bozo. I would waste him in a heartbeat with the bazooka I carry concealed, then use their body as a target for my 287 other guns

till their mortal remains are nothing more than a great pile of wet hamburger leaking all kinds of fluids. Happy? Based upon your last stupid and ignorant sentence, that is exactly what you wanted to hear. These idiotic questions from those who hate and fear firearms get very tedious and don't deserve a real answer. Everyone is an insult.

I'm going to upvote that. Everyone is an insult is a beautiful sign-off. You got it, Bozo, is a hot sign-on. front to back a fantastic reply come in strong leave even stronger I think is what that does

can we follow Lamar C. Edwards yeah also real quick I want to say that I think this question is definitely written by just someone who actually is pro-gun

right and is like pretending to be like a liberal who's like what if I hated guns but didn't want to do anything bad about them

would you kill me just so people can be like no I actually am very safe with my guns I only kill people who want to take them they are locked in a cabinet that only my child

has the key to yeah the thing about the america's gun club is the very anti their enemies and so if you're filed under that list they're gonna blow you away all right do you want to what do you want to know about your new friend lamar c edwards i just want you to follow him how tall is he uh i can't see how tall he is but you just have a full picture of himself holding a gun oh wait so wait we could do the verified yeah we could do the math based on yeah we gotta pull up model of gun yeah he looks kind of tiny he's also a member as the gun yeah he's a mouse the picture is a big mouse and he's holding a gun mouse that's you got it bozo you've heard a pizza rat

yeah right for a mouse the follow-up to pizza rat lamar c edwards missing a lot of the magic uh he is he is everything republican he's a contributor to it's okay to be white contributor to john this is the first lamar and it's okay to be white i have come across really threw me with that one i'm gonna gotta say we're following him that's too bad it's okay to like lamar somebody's gonna take me down for my affiliation with lamar later it might be lamar i'd shoot you he could shoot me with his bazooka concealed uh i'm trying to see if there's anything else that's worth reading on here uh there's a wow really that's pretty condescending oh here's one this is a classic example of a severely mentally ill

hoplophobe the fuck is up people just making up fears i have to google this yeah you gotta look i'm hopeless hope by the way a rational fear of guns and i hate to bring this into the first of all it feels very rational to foam hopeless maybe the most rational it's a very fair one i do want to get into a word of the week segment here on and this week is gonna be hopeless i like the idea of someone being like oh you think i'm a homophobe well you're afraid of dying you're afraid of me shooting you with a gun so what's worse that's pretty offensive put that on the flag what if one of the colors represent gun owners on the pride flag oh it's like every color in the rainbow and then a gun pointing straight at you people would actually like that

yeah it'd be pretty cool it would be sick we haven't figured out what our merch is yet that's what it's gonna be um anyway you're still on the hoplophobia wiki sorry yeah which and jeremy i'm going to penalize you for leaving quorum sorry sorry sorry i'm going to get a little rod that i take you to task with the guy who says this by the way his profile picture is a frowning dog db stevens that's another great name two great names at america's gun club yeah do we have we we haven't done a segment of the week um or america's gun club right absolutely not um i don't know there's because a lot of it sucks and it won't be fun to read yeah i think it's just is that the only reason why well mostly just gunheads we'll we'll

dip in there every now and then hoplophilos hoplophilos ooh um emmet's fetku says first two is it my girlfriend's parents i'm meeting for the first time someone at a bar just mouthing off i mean seriously who is this person so who am i shooting i'm shooting them with a gun who is this person who is my victim anyone who talks about someone mouthing off at them yeah they're probably concealed carry oh yeah i think yeah yeah probably a bazooka probably gonna be one of the big ones too I mean, you got to hand it to Lamar there. Katsuo carrying a bazooka is inherently funny.

They're too big. It's just one of those naturally funny things. All right. Well, that's that question. Shout out to him for that. Also, reconsider your bigoted views. All right. Here's another question.

As a Muslim, what can I contribute to for converting Norway to Islam? What can I contribute for converting Norway to Islam? A thousand dollars. Interesting. What does that mean? as a muslim what can i contribute for converting norway to islam okay so they want to convert norway not very islamic as far as i can tell as far as i know now as far a lot of um they need white fish well they need converting yeah it's like a task for them yeah there's yeah it's it's

a high level difficulty conversion test and um i have this friend muslim jeremy who do you think they're up to the task he he would be the one to ask about something like this because he just is like steeped in the lore right but um i think this is of course jeremy renner normal jeremy renner we call him muslim jeremy is it jeremy renner that's something we're all wondering as i've never seen a photo of him myself but um at the same time converting norway this is also kind of a uh this is a right-wing european trope sure um oh yeah that's true yeah is that we have to keep the african migrants out they're going to convert us to islam i think they should just do it who fucking cares yeah but also so what can we contribute in religion for a reason

i mean i think you just who asked get your email on the list some guy some fucker well this fucker just got to go to norway and start spreading the good news about islam right the way i see it is like we have sweden already do we need norway right like is there a difference i do get confused i don't really understand not really and i don't know what you mean by we have i mean like as a global society we have norway at home we got a picture of sweden it sounds like we'd still have norway they would just be entirely more yeah that's what i'm saying like islamic we have we've doubled up on this country already let's see what happens if we make one muslim yeah yeah i think that's fair oh yeah it's like separating twins at birth to see the differences in their biology

yeah i think it's like a they call it a control yes there you go sweden's the control sweden is would be a control then we see what's better then we can decide which religion is better the control is worshiping the lamb of the lord right i think this is a good idea i think we've no one suggested this before me well what can i contribute for that uh my question is do does islam have like mormon style door-to-door preachers the way christians do i think not And if not, what do they got? What's in their build if not? I feel like every religion's got to have some door-to-door.

Some locos they keep around. Hey, that's your word, not mine. That's an industry term. Every religion is beautiful and real. Every religion is real. Come to the cemetery where I perform. Why does Ben keep saying Israel? Every religion, Israel?

That's interesting. I didn't notice that. Free Palestine? Every religion is real. Israel is a false state. Anyway, yeah, you should make a sandwich brand everyone eats over there. Well, let's see what these people say. This guy says, Allah, Jesus, Moses loves the Jews, King Kong's hairy arse.

Why on earth would you want to convert Norway to Islam? Why not advance Muslim nations so they don't continue to migrate to Europe? Boo. See, this is kind of what I thought Murray might be going. Yeah, a lot of these questions make me feel icky. Yeah. I said, ooh, and then one other thing. I had a Norwegian forest cat years ago.

Clever animal. Clever animal. What does that mean? So if I was the editor. Is this something I don't realize that's racist? If I was the editor for. No, a Norwegian forest cat is a, it's a cat. Boban was a Norwegian forest cat.

They actually have great cats. So he's just saying. They make great cats. Yeah, he's just mentioning he's got a fluffy, cute little cat. Okay. If I was the editor for AttilaKayaEncore.com, I would say that first sentence about King Kong's Harry Ars. the last sentence about the Norwegian forest cat. You don't even need that.

The whole book, the whole text is the middle part. Yeah, I got it. Well, it works because I thought it was going to be a fun answer and then it ended up just being racist. It sounded like a riddle. It's great for tricking a podcast and reading your answer. You sort of set it up and you're like, hey, this is going to be a fun little riddle joke.

That's what I thought. Actually, here's some virulent kind of ethnocentrism. of centrism and then by the way i'm a i'm kind of like a kitty cat by the way if you're into fluff check out a norwegian forest cat i thought it was like he's like you know red fish blue fish one fish two fish i don't think that uh muslims should live in europe anyway they can't be trusted dear old women anyway my favorite animal um okay uh so they're all gonna be like that but i am interested to see if anybody has any tips here um what if you did like some really strong muslim stand-up comedy that like kind of made people like reconsider like maybe

it is cool yeah who's swiping with our yeah or just like um what's like another thing not drinking alcohol decent answer he says up with the aura of islamism through your great deeds Did you say that about Great Deeds? I didn't say Great Deeds I just said go to Norway And talk about Islam and be your charming self That's different than Great Deeds Great Deeds is like

Go and save a town From a flood And then credit the big man At the end I did this all because of Allah Yeah exactly You do have to do the flood thing first I think you could just go around and talk about it

you can go around and talk about it good word politics not yet honestly politics is so intense and it's just like so much sometimes but we have okay we got one more of these you're gonna we gotta do one more and it's even more hateful this is the most heinous uh the most heinous one we've found so far great are british teenagers as horrible as they seem on television yes yeah i think so right there's no way that they're not what is the first british teenager you think of? Yeah, that's my question. I'm thinking of Sherlock

from Sherlock Holmes and he's not a teen, I don't think. He's like an adult dad. Well, he's a teen for some time. He's got like teen brain. I've never seen it. He solves his problems

using his great brain. It's true. I'm trying to think of British teenagers. Clockwork Orange is number one. Harry Potter. Those guys are nasty.

They're not good. They are nasty boys. Nasty lads. They're Kravazna's or whatever. But then they did that nice thing where they opened up

their eyes and made them watch a lot of nice videos and they became good boys. Yeah, they pretty much They went on Twitter.com. That's what having national health care is like in another country. I'm thinking of all those little pickpockets. Oh, with the caps?

You're thinking of the blinders. You're thinking of the bloody blinders, Nate. I'm thinking of the pickpockets like the olive. Oh, I suck. Can I interest you in a fuck-fuck, whatever? And they tone that down for TV. Would you eat a loaf of bread for me? I haven't eaten Fortnite.

And then Scooch. I got your pocket watch. They get your coin purse. You stupid geezer And so it does seem like they're all doing that And really only Harry Potter is like Going to school and reading a book But he doesn't go to school he skips class

He really spends Towards the end of that he's doing No time in school Yeah he's a bad kid He skips a lot of school They try to throw him out the entire time Yeah he's terrible The whole time they're like this fucking kid

He doesn't do his homework He's reading from the book of riddles Is he battling again He's always battling. They lock him in a maze a lot. They do put him in a maze. They try to just leave him in a maze. Oh, really?

Yeah, and he's always like, yeah, I got out of there. I found a griffin. I found a griffin. Don't worry. I found a griffin. Holy shit. What was the odds of that? We left you in there with this giant snake.

I'm sure we were done with you. Anyway. I can't think of any good representation for British teens on the in the media uh skins those kids were bad right yeah well they were always rubbing skin is that what they called it that yeah in england it's called rubbing skin when you make love when you make love to an anglo you gotta rub their skin the beatles were nasty little boys that's true bad guys oh did you listen to the ai beatles song no but i heard that they want to do a live or new album or something

with what new album Paul McCartney said he wants to do an AI job Lennon album Beatles damn things be really rough for Paul out it's yeah it's just Paul Paul AI John Lennon AI George Harrison

what a fucking bummer all your fucking friends are dead and you're like I got robots that talk like them we're back that's so sad you can't just like put it to bed just let it go yeah he's so he's hooked on being the ai john lennon that was going around too is like horrifying is i haven't i've avoided so many of these things he's always trying to get you to sit on his lap

and then he's beating you by the way ai john lennon i am just picturing like this the slender man picture where his leg is like really far into the foreground you don't talk about where he's walking like he's trying alex is just trying to help all the time he just wants No, I didn't. It's hard because the camera is only up to like three feet in the air. But the one where he's walking like diagonally and we're all like, oh, based John Lennon is diagonal. He looks like the Slenderman. I'm trying to find the AI John Lennon video that was going around on Twitter so I can play it because it was really weird.

You're always doing stuff like this. Sorry. Should I not do it? No, do it now. I'm curious. All right. I don't know if I can find it. You have 15 seconds.

So far, my experience of Quorators is incredibly racist. So I'd love a break in that. That's not our fault. That's just what the website's like. But you're curating them. But that's most of the website. No, we're Quorating them. Oh, okay.

Sorry, you're Quorating. It would be a disservice to not do any racist questions. It's like a third of the website. Was this it? No. It was a video of just like a very creepy looking John Lennon. And he's just like, hello, I'm John Lennon. By the way, isn't it crazy?

I'm talking to you in the year 2023. Cut that out. Kiss me with that. Kiss me with that. I don't need that. We're replacing you. I'm doing a podcast with Plato. We got Justin Bieber now.

I'm here with- Alive and well. We don't need that shit. I'm here with Starve Rose Haukius. Now, I'm asking him when a bird looks nice, how do you eat the pussy? You ever put your head in a breast? Let me tell you about Yoko's vagina.

Oh, it's crazy in there. I can't find this fucking video. But Stavros was in it. Yeah, he was in it. He was just normal in it. He wasn't even AI. They just let him do it. Okay.

We're done with this. We're moving to another question. We're also changing segments here. Nice. And what's the next one? I also don't understand just all these British teenager answers, by the way. I'm not going to read them, but a lot of them are just about their parents dying. I don't get why, and I don't want to read them.

Parents are dying at an alarming rate because of Jeremy Corbyn. corbin he's in there and he he came for the parents he's killing parents he's coming okay this is the police segment five quo this is not a real sign you're driving you're not being pulled over it's just part of the podcast so everything it's fine everything's fine okay uh my neighbor keeps spying on me oh this is important to note that neighbor is spelled with a u so this is kind A British listener. British person. Anglo spotted.

My neighbor keeps spying on me. He stands at his window with binoculars and watches my house all day and all night. He never sleeps. What can I do about this? That is one answer. That's one answer. You could do it. You could blow him away.

Is the concern that he hasn't gotten any sleep and you just need, like... This sounds like a riddle. Offer him a Tylenol PM. Yeah. Yeah, the guy's just, like, he's bored. If he needs to sleep. He's got insomnia. Maybe something's wrong with his pillows

Maybe That could be it Change your pillowcase You know Because you got to do that More often than you think Get blinds If you don't want someone watching you

That too I would say If he's watching you night and day And never sleeping There's a good chance It's like a fat head of a guy You put on his window With binoculars

That's also true It might just not be real I think he got you It's just a prank Yeah You got got Now you're on quarry You fucking moron

That's actually not your neighbor That's Derek Jeter So don't worry about it yeah let's see people say pretty much the same thing which is put up curtains and blinds

kill him with a gun put things up that block his view Quora Plus spotted Quora Plus answer yeah wait what's Quora Plus Quora Plus is

sometimes they'll just put answers behind a paywall and we refuse to pay for it we refuse to that makes sense and people are like

you're making money from the show now you have to do it and it's like no we don't we actually don't we don't I don't want to

we're barely making money I'm scared of going back there We don't want to give money to this evil corporation Quora No It's also unreasonable the way the paywalls are set up Where it's not like one fee And you get all of Quora Plus It's like per community

I don't know if that's true So you have to sign up for like You can do $7 a month And you get Quora Plus Only $7 a month Wow For the price of Netflix I think Crunchyroll is $7 a month

For all the entertainment at your fingertips, you could also subscribe to Quark. You can also, yeah, read the rest of this sentence where someone says to put blinds on your house because you're being spied on at night. My friend who doesn't get pussy said, Crunchyroll is $7 and not me. Was that AI John Lennon who told you that? That was AI. The last season of Attack on Titan is out now. It took three years to finish it. That is what it will be used for, too.

I'm loving it. It's going to be like how everybody put out those like AI Joe Biden. Sure. Playing Trump or whatever videos for like three days and everyone got sick of it. Like it will have the same mentoring appeal. I feel like. Yeah, I think that's right. John Lennon is washed.

One person says move. Yeah, you can move. Just move. Just get out of there. Just leave everything behind. Yeah. You live next to amnesia, the dark descent, and you don't want to be near it. I like that game.

Shout out. Shouts out to it. Shout out to amnesia. And Machine for Pigs, the sequel. Not as good. Not as good. Not scared of pigs. No, not as good.

Too linear. Anyway, one person says throw eggs at his window or something more disgusting. And then someone says spy on him. That's a really good answer. I like that idea. Then you're spying on someone through your binoculars in the middle of the night. And then you see they have binoculars. I mean, that happens in movies.

Spy versus spy was like this. This is very similar to spy versus spy. This is very Mad Men magazine. They hand them a circular bomb, and they hand you a circular bomb. Let's call the whole thing off. Yeah, I think that's a good answer. That's what I would do. That's what I would do.

All right, we nailed it. Okay, let's do the next one. Easy. Easy. Child's play. Oh, one person else says, make sure you close the curtains before you commit a murder. Ha ha. That's good to know.

Very fun. Ha ha ha. This is our doctor segment, Quora MD. Oh, we got to go on the computer for this one. It's under Quora sounds. Okay. All right, Jeremy's going to figure this out here quickly. Regale us with a story.

uh about i don't know you could just think of any stuff would you ever uh have a tooth pulled i have had oh we found the quora md music so don't worry about it okay here we go and here quora md we ask medical questions and you say what the hell and uh it turns are you sick or not we're gonna find out this is the hauser theme i know it's the doogie but you don't want to hear my story about i want to hear it let's hear i was kidding is it good no i actually don't have one He doesn't have one. I knew he didn't have one. He's bluffing, I said.

He's bluffing. Got him. This is twice in a row I've been tricked by a riddle. I'm going for number three. I'm going for the hat trick today. Jeremy's on bridge troll status. Darn it. These damn goats.

How do old people, particularly people past 100 years old, sleep at night knowing they can literally die any day. Ben, you have a show about death. Ben, you have a show about death, so we saved this one for you. No, that's good. From my expertise in talking to, and most of the time at the shows, people are at least 100 years old

if not older. I've seen it. That's a good crowd. Yeah, sick crowd. Yeah. Well, for a show about death, it's like at any point one of them can die. That could be cool. That would be wild. Someone died during a show. Someone almost died on Sunday. They were laughing really hard, and they had a really hard time breathing, and

i was like oh if you die right now that would that's in the that would be the coolest thing that's more press that's a way easier headline for them to write oh yeah so then they'll really man dies laughing at the cemetery comedy show yeah that's huge put that right next door to the show it was too convenient for everyone involved uh no i imagine uh you are just waiting for the sweet embrace of nothingness yeah i think that's right and i think the idea for a lot of them are probably dying in your sleep's nice so jeremy's always saying his grandma's trying to die yeah but the thing is like a lot of grandmas they just don't even want to die and that's what's keeping them alive so long yeah not my grandma my grandma's just running on hate

at this point and then my mom was always complaining like oh but she wants me to take her to the doctor so i guess she doesn't want to die anymore and i'm like i don't think you could say that mom come on like not allowed yeah a lot of times they just hold on they want to die but they don't want to die and then you find they do die when they're ready to give up yeah like when they're just like when it's tuesday and they're so over it yeah something like that i'm over it rough tuesday i'm 108 years old if we ever make it to 100 it's gonna be like a so annoying time think of all the podcasts i'll have made oh my god an astounding clip as we're approaching my 70s i'll be telling people i'm hanging out with my friend alex who is a podcast yeah who is a

podcast ai alex patak yeah just his i talk like john lennon it's just ai alex patak reviewing like ai generated episodes of dragon ball and that's what podcasting is that's what i sound like it fucking sucks so much this impression of yourself i fucking suck so much you just got your ass they sleep comfortably knowing that they might not wake up I think that's the goal they're waking up annoyed I think you go to sleep and you're like

I would think about all my beautiful little grandkids and all my happy memories and then when I wake up I would just be annoyed that I have to do it all over again here's the thing is if you're not sleeping good I don't think you're making it to 100 100 is for good sleepers you know what I mean

you gotta be in slumber city if you're going to keep going on. Your REM cycles are tight. Oh, you got some powerful REMs. You're getting dreams and stuff. Okay, so a lot of people are like, life is fleeting and you could die in a day. Yeah, that's most people's answer.

It's like, actually, you could die at any time. Get out and sing a song. Yeah, you dumbass 40-year-old. You're not even really a doctor. I like this answer. M. Eileen Higgins says, that's a great question. I'm pushing 80 and I fall asleep during the day,

even while talking to someone. So embarrassing. Frequently, though, I can't sleep at night. So I refuse to worry about anything and just get up and read. That soon puts me to sleep. Honestly, same. She's just like me for real. I do appreciate that Quora has these active 80-year-old users.

Reddit has these, too. Oh, this is a good one. Eileen Wood, another Eileen, says, Probably better than you do being young and knowing you could literally die any day by being killed in a 7-Eleven robbery. You know all these 7-Eleven robberies happening? Upvote.

Upvote. An upvote for you. Yeah. I'm dying at 55. I'm so scared. Not reading that one. Well, you just did. Bleep it.

Yeah, we're going to bleep that one. We're going to fix that in post. Okay. Yeah, I mean, it's mostly just people saying that you could die. That's really what Corey's going for. I'm dying. You're dying. Shut up.

shut up idiot you're the one who's dying hey you think i'm dying go fuck yourself i'm gonna kill you at a 7-eleven you hopeless 7-eleven's a very funny place to die it is a good place to die because you're in there and you're just like i just want a beef jerky i just want to slurp and get out of here i just needed to get my scratchy fix and now i'm worm chow um let's do the next question yeah okay oh what is it called when a person's kidney suddenly explodes and the tiny bits and pieces of the exploding kidneys spread and attach to your organs and body parts oh that's called uh kidney is a kidney explositis it's a medical question and it's also a little bit of a riddle but is this a i think we should ask explicitly what is

the scientific name yeah i think it's just we should ask as a podcast is this a real thing or is this gibberish that's what i want to know uh how does your kidney explode and the tiny bits and like appendicitis your appendix explodes it bursts yeah a burst is an explosion i don't know if that's true i don't know you sound pretty stupid if you like drop a bomb like oh that The bomb just burst. Yeah, you wouldn't say the bomb. Bombs do burst. They explode.

And the bombs burst in air. I was going to say that too, yeah. Yeah, so they do do that. They do be bursted. Well, it suddenly seems like bursting is exploding as we get into it, doesn't it? Yeah, but I don't think. It feels wrong. It feels wrong in terms of an organ.

You two are opalophobic. No, we're not. And you're afraid of common bursting effects in bombs. Some people are disagreeing on what this is. Karen J. Gray says It's called impossible Owned Got em

And then says It is possible but very rare For a kidney to rupture spontaneously Okay that's fair What's the difference Between a rupture and explosion One is more like a burst Yeah

I would say a rupture is a burst Killing spree It says there's no Fleshy shrapnel If it does happen Well that's not true I have kidney stones There's gonna be some shrapnel

Yeah I think so we know what those are called kidney stones they're called kidney stones um it seems like the the your kidney can explode yeah sure for sure they can anything can explode yeah i don't i just don't know if the parts of it are gonna connect right graft onto each other in the way that's possible i should have found a kidney stones question it's really blue in it why why oh because ben's the kidney stones oh yeah that's fair we once did a show in 2015 where he had a kidney stone while we were doing the show and he didn't leave or anything he was just like we're gonna power through this and it was like you don't have to do this you can just have a kidney stone

there's a commitment to my craft and we put on a hell of a show we put on that we did a coordinated dance we did a whole really yeah yeah wow yeah and what was the show it was like a specific thing that you were doing or no we had a team it was called the omg bff lol club and we dressed up at boy scouts uniforms and the running theme of the joke this show was like you were joining our best friends club and we would print out uh pins that we would give people commemorative pins and they changed every show and there was a dance we opened the show with but the joke was that we never practiced the dance so it was always different kind of and uh it was a lot it was some heavy lifting there was a lot of production involved in uh not much of a show but it was worth it for all

the money we made now for all that money and the one time that that fbi agent was there that was crazy fbi agent yeah we had uh written a whole thing about like this month we're being investigated by the feds or something like that that was the theme of the month we had one of our friends play an fbi agent cool just sitting in the audience the whole time and like he was gonna reveal himself at the end of the show to that's a good take at him yeah and uh then there was a real guy the show we were like doing some crowd work shit and it was like you sir what's your name and this guy's like i'm derrick whatever he's like what do you do for a living it was i'm an fbi agent and we all looked at each other and then we looked at the kids he showed us the badge showed us his badge flash

And then we look at like our friends sitting like in like right behind him. A fake gun in his lap. Just like deer in the headlights. Like, oh, shit. I'm going to get shot today if I do this bit. That's wild. And we're just like, hold that for the end of the show. You have to do it still.

You got to do it. Yeah. And it was a fun reveal. And Derek or whatever that fucking agent was Had a big ol' laugh about it And then he came up to us after and he was like Were you guys afraid? And I was like, yes Derek, we're all afraid of you

I don't like your kind On account of history I don't know if you got the message of the show But we don't like police That's not what our friendship club is about Our friendship club is ACAB OMG BFF LOL CLUB ACAB Yeah, that wasn't explicitly in the show

It was more of a subtle cue You could get by watching our dance. If you picked up on the dance, you could tell that we believe in a stateless, organized society. What was the question? I was going to say real quick, though. If I ever saw you doing a show, Ben, and you said that you had a kidney stone,

0% chance that I think that that's not a bit. I fully expect that you're going to pretend to piss blood. Nothing you could say would convince me that's real. Especially during this era, you had a lot of fake blood. You did have a lot of fake blood. And I feel like you would yell things like, this is not a bit. This isn't a bit. There are times where I've been chewing on razor blades.

Sure. I saw you tattoo yourself on stage. Yeah. Not a bit. Oh, yeah. Is that on your foot? No, they're right here. Sorry.

We're not going to get that. I'll send you a pic after. We're going to need to work around on that. Anyway, you're kidding. You can't explode or whatever. You made that up and you're a liar. You're a fucking liar and get up for it. Anyway, on to Quarantine, our parenting segment.

Let me make sure we got that here. No, that's the train. Oh, my God. That's enough. That's enough. Where's Ben going? Where are you going? I'm getting my water.

Okay. You've never had a guest get their fucking water before? There's water on the other table. What? I didn't want it in the shot. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I didn't want it in the fucking shot.

We're a very professional podcast. I'm going to make a little gamer-style YouTube thumbnail for this. Yeah, it's going to be Ben shuffling up behind the camera. Good. I think that's going to be a good clip. That's going to get you all the YouTube subscribers. It's going to get us Zendaya. We got to get Zendaya.

Zendaya, we'll be Spider-Man for you. All right, we're going to read this question. It's about parenting. My toxic mother-in-law planned a family vacation and invited everyone but me, even our newborn. Husband insists that I go even though I wasn't invited. What would you do? So I think this is a woman being passive-aggressive

because the phrasing on it otherwise would be like, you're invited and the baby's invited and that's it. It's something very funny about inviting the baby. Yeah. Because, like, the baby's implied, I think. Waffles, hello. I just feel like if it's a family vacation, then the family is invited.

Right. Why would you not be invited And it's like you're invited The baby's invited And that's it We're all out of tickets I think it's very funny I think it's a funny thing to do

But what would you do I would go I'd probably go if I wanted to go If it was me I'd just go And then they'd be like you were invited I'd be like oh nevermind I'd show up hoping I wasn't invited And then I'd make a big old fucking stink about it

It's so, I would love to see the mom talking to the husband like, did you tell her she could go? Did you tell her we were going to the Bahamas for a week and a half? How did she find out? I felt like I had to because we have a newborn baby. It would have been kind of fucked up if I just left for a week on an F. You know what I would do? I would leave the baby with a babysitter and then I'd dress up as the baby and pretend

to be the baby and then be like, surprise, take off my body. It's been me the whole time. I'm the baby now, you old hag. I'm an adult person. You toxic fucking mother-in-law. And you've always been toxic. And I haven't always been a baby either. That's where you reveal you're the woman.

You step out of the diaper. I think that works. Also, you're wearing a diaper because it's part of the cost. And you're a baby. Gotta love me. Not the mama. Clang. He's eating dinosaurs.

Check out dinosaurs. Where they're all dinosaurs. There's like a family. oh my god it's so sick it's sick it's live action right yeah it's with puppets yeah it's live action puppet yeah live action puppet all right anyway they cover stuff like this um they cover all sorts of stuff like family trips where you're not invited okay um a person does not attend an event if they are not invited yet your husband is insisting that you go so that means he intends on participating, even if you do not.

Your problem isn't with your mother-in-law. Your problem is with your husband. Oh, shit. Stir the fucking pot. I never would have thought about that. Not what I expected. Yeah, do it again, though. It's the religion segment of the song.

Your problem is with your husband. Bashing husbands is my religion. I'd also like to add, kind of a little bit harder to press the buttons than it looks, isn't it? Maybe I do some good work up here sometimes. Exactly. That's not real.

Exactly. You bitch. We have to do two more of these episodes today. I don't envy you. Well, anyway, it's your husband's fault. Oh, my God. The secret thing is they raised him wrong. Your husband's trash.

Dump him. He's trash. He needs to be a real man and a real husband. Put his foot down and stand up for you. Either all three of you go together and none will attend. Let's see where his allegiance really lies. Let's see where his allegiance really lies. Thank you, Cindy Bush Hayes, who lives in Boise, Idaho,

and is a project manager slash president. Waffles. How's it going, Waffles? Producer Waffles has joined the podcast, if you're listening to the audio. It's been weeks. Where have you been? You two good now? All our guests are bailing.

You got to do your job. You're on drugs. That's true. We're stuck with Ben. I know my place. We had that kidney question ready for him. We did have that kidney question. We had the death one as well.

Yeah, a bunch of things. Actually, this last one is really what we need. I think we might want to do another one. Yeah, we're going to need to do a few, actually. But this is still a good one for Ben, and we're excited to tell you about it. I unfortunately cannot read it because the cat is standing in front of the screen.

That's never happened before. I'm 15 and only smoke two cigarettes per day. How can I prove to my mom this is safe and I barely even smoke? It's not even about if it's safe. It's about how cool you are when you smoke, right? It's like I barely smoke, but when I do, it's cool as shit. It's making me look sick. You should see me with a leather jacket as well.

Yeah. I think like you should let your kids smoke one cigarette a day. Sure. Just so they get a taste for it. Yeah, because when they're older, they're going to want to smoke a pack, but they might not be able to handle that. Yeah, when they're off your cell phone plan and they're buying the cigarettes,

maybe they're not so interested anymore. They're like, these are how much? Yeah. No, I mean, I don't think you should ever have to prove to your mom that you don't smoke. That's so weird. You just keep hiding it. Yeah.

Hide it like a normal person. I think so. I mean, I guess if you're like 15 and smoking two cigarettes a day, you're probably not that good about hiding it. You probably smell like cigarettes or something. No. Axe body spray, man.

yeah take a jersey shower fair enough that's when you spray yourself with xbox yeah we all figured that out that was pretty clear what you were saying york regional podcast this guy's from massachusetts uh well either way uh i say start smoking three and make it a conversation yeah there you go get it down you know what i mean yeah how can you prove it if you start smoking four cigarettes a day you can be like what if i just smoke two and then your mom's like that's a fair compromise that feels yeah that's negotiating with that and then go on strike yeah as a child that also makes it seem safe and it makes it seem like you barely even smoke so jeremy's right double the number double the number get her used to it then cut

down if any kids are listening to the podcast though seriously um double the number double the number negotiate your parents down me and jeremy love blasting them we can't get enough of this stuff. That's what keeps us so cool. Yeah, I love to coat my throat in some velvety smoke. That's how we do three podcasts a day. It's my favorite thing.

When did you start smoking, Ben? I was like 13, 14. Okay. What did your mom think of you smoking all the time? Well, I'm not a fucking idiot like this person. She didn't know until one day when I was at work when I was like

15 or something and she decided to clean my room for me which is so nice comes up a lot on this show so to be fair you did get caught at 15 yeah but not at 13 or 14 oh yeah fuck me oh he's just like me for real

who wrote this question it just says Ben has a picture of him recording this podcast I could probably find out who it is But, you know, she found, like, a bunch of packs in a bag of mine and said, why did I find a bunch of packs of cigarettes in a bag of yours? And I said, I don't know. Why the fuck were you in my bag of cigarettes? Oh, I can see this happening.

And then, yeah, we had a whole conversation about smoking. Who put these in here? Yeah, and then I was like, I steal cigarettes from y'all all the time. Oh, my God. Did you get to do the breakfast club thing? Like, I learned it from you. I learned it from you. I learned it from you.

yeah and then my dad said do as i say not as i do and i was like that seems weird fucked up that's crazy he said that i don't like you that's honestly like one of the biggest problems with the breakfast club they don't tell you that but it is what was it you know how his dad in the breakfast club they're like do you want me to hit you with a belt or a wrench and then i'd say wrench because screw him that's why it's like i still wouldn't get hit with a wrench I think about that all the time. I don't care how rebellious I'm feeling that day. I want you to feel like you are really assaulting me.

I want to die today, probably. Would you hit me with that? I found the guy who asked this question. His name is Me. And all of his questions are about smoking cigarettes. Oh, I love that. What? What is a good toothpaste for smokers?

What is a good toothpaste for smokers? I got to go with Crest. You got to go with Crest. Send me money, Crest. All those chemical compounds. Or I'll say Colgate next. He'll say Colgate. All the chemical compounds they put in there that people are like, what are those?

Those are for blocking cigarette smells. Here's a good question. I'm 15 and feel like I'm old enough to smoke cigs. I'm taking heat from my teachers and friend. Is 15 years old mature enough to decide to smoke cigarettes? I have a job and buy my own packs. My parents smoked cigarettes and gave me permission. this is complicating the question isn't it i feel like it's ever you just answered it buddy

sometimes he's 16 in these if you're buying well it's probably been a year my friend posted donald kirk gave me a cigarette should i try it no you can't trust donald kirk no donald kirk everyone on quarry is like do not trust donald kirk uh i recently found out my roommate owes a firearm it's legal but i don't like it how could how do i have it removed from the house well you gotta call donald get donald quirk on the line he's gonna come down he's gonna straighten your roommate out hand him a cigarette scare the bejesus out of him where would that possibly come from donald kirk looks like you need to lighten up maybe uh take a puff about it why don't you call my friend donald i'd like to

introduce you my friends donald and kirk yep that's pretty good i can really see donald kirk being a tough guy with a leather jacket yeah that's a great 15 year old so someone answered this question about donald kirk and said big tobacco is hiring all sorts of influencers so donald kirk may be under is he a celebrity a sig influencer all right you have permission to leave quora and look up donald kirk wait i would love to be a cigarette influencer if i could do that like didn't work yeah that'd be a great a great instagram gig for you that was like a big industry though. Donald Kirk band?

This has to be the same guy. That doesn't seem like it's famous enough. Oh, no. Are there a lot of cigs in a mouth? It's just like a guy

who shouldn't be giving 15-year-old cigarettes. I'll tell you that right now. This is what his Instagram looks like. He should not be hanging out with Donald Kirk. No, no, no.

Get away. It's not bad, but all the same photo over and over again of him playing acoustic guitar. He's got a goatee. Self-promotion's hard.

You get a good photo of yourself. That's true. Looking like Donald Kirk. We can listen to this guy's music right now. He's going to wham jam on the harmonica. Should I play? We're going to owe him pounds if we do that, because it looks like he lives in England.

Should I play any of these songs for one second? We're going to owe him 20p if you do that. Should I play this song? You can get a couple of cigs for 20p. I'm against you playing Donald Kirk's music on this show. Can I play some of his, can I always say the names of his songs? Yes. Mr. Bajangles.

Diddy Wadiddy. Got you on my mind Dixie Chicken I gotta hear Dixie Chicken Do not take cigarettes From this man Wait in for a trade I gotta hear Dixie Chicken

I've played it Oh fuck YouTube immediately popping up Do you own the rights To Donald Kirk? He's gonna get like A notification about it Someone played Dixie Chicken

Ripped so many fucking cigs With this guy After a show Dude, great set. Dixie Chicken, I love it. All you remind me of, Ben, is Mr. Bojangles. Got a little ditty about that. Here we go.

Do you smoke? You puff, mate. You puff. Oh, my God. Oh, Donald Kirk. Donald Kirk, man. Is it in London? There's a lot.

Dublin. Donald Kirk. Donald Kirk. Yeah, we didn't say Donald Kirk. No, no. Donald. Is that how you pronounce that? Like Donald Duck.

Yeah. Donald Duck. Donald Duck. Yeah, he's got a band, dude. I think this is literally the guy. This is what happens when you let me go on fucking Google. Donald Kirk is a bad influence. He's performing in his 50s, and you just need a more steady income than that.

You don't want to go into the arts. You got to put a picture of this guy on the YouTube. You simply must. I am so afraid of Donald Kirk. Why? Because he's a rough and tumble bluegrass man. No, he seems like a cool guy. And he's going to come down from Dublin and beat me silly.

No, he won't. He's got Jason Duffy on the drums, Keith Duffy on the bass. Don't name the whole Donald Kirk band. No, he's Cigarette Sanford. That's the last thing we need. We need YouTube telling Jesse Lind about where I live. I think we should call this guy up, contact him, see if he gave a 15-year-old a cigarette.

Have you ever gave a 15-year-old kid named me a cigarette? I still can't figure out if me is a real account or some kind of complicated op. I think it's a real account. What kind of op would it be? Somebody who's trying to see if they can get smoking going in the chat. On June 5th, he asked, as soon as I get stressed, I light up a cigarette. Is this bad at age 16? No.

Hashtag hooked, RIP. Nah, that's cool as shit, man. There's no better time to smoke a cig than when you were 16 and stressed. Donald Kirk goes wild for that Imagine being 16 years old and stressed Yeah I was stressed all the time when I was 16 years old I mean I was too

So stupid though in retrospect Yeah you just gotta light one up Is smoking cigarettes when you're a teen more fun like drinking is as a teen or is it like the same? Smoking cigarettes is definitely more fun when you're younger than it is now Yeah that makes sense Now it's just a way of life for me Yeah it's like fishing It's kind of like my fishing

Yeah Well Which gets me in my head Because I have friends who fish and smoke cigs. Wow. That's scary. Double trouble. Yeah.

Wow. When I was 15, I used to catch two fish a day. Wow. And my mom would say, you have to stop. She smelled it on your hands. She was like, you smell disgusting. I used to give Jeremy. I went through my room and found a fish under my bed.

Oh, yeah. I used to give Jeremy a fish and it would feed him for a day. And then I taught him how to fish and it's fed him for a life. And I haven't seen Jeremy in a minute. That was a big mistake on my part. Yeah, it fed me for the rest of my life because I fucking died immediately. I'm very allergic to fish. Oh, no.

Do we need to find another one here? We're at an hour. We're pretty much good. We'll call this out because I really wanted to end on the cigarette one because I know Ben loves cigarettes so much. I love them so much. I'm vaping the whole time. He's addicted to it, folks.

Ben, do you have a question you want to ask Cora? Do you have any questions in your life that you've been wondering and want the users of Cora to answer? And we'll see in like three hours if someone answers it. Yeah, also it's got to be real click bait or we're not getting shit on this in two hours. We're recording five podcast episodes in two days. Real clickbait?

Okay. I am 15. I'm 15 years old. I'm 15 years old. My mom says I'll never be happy. Okay. Is that true? Is that true or do all women lie?

Oh, no. I didn't say that part. I'm just saying if you want people to answer it, it has to be offensive in some way. I think you've got to believe in the kindness of Quora Raiders' hearts. I think let's just do it as ever. I guarantee you we will have nothing on this unless you turn it against all women. I guarantee we're not going to get an answer on this no matter what.

Okay, fine. Then say, also, I'm Jewish. We already posted it now. Fuck. I'll put it in the comments. Why does Quora send us straight to chat GPT now? That's like a new thing in the last week. I don't like it.

They're sending our episodes straight to AI John Lennon. Can I add an answer to this? Can I edit it? I'm going to answer. I'm going to add an answer. Pay for Quora Plus to add an edit feature. Question asker here. I am Jewish, if that matters.

Thanks. Okay, good. That's in there. In the meantime, Ben, thank you so much for coming on the show. We're having so much fun here at Quorators HQ, and we got to know, what are your freaking dates and projects and so forth?

Yeah. This isn't coming out for a while, right? two weeks two weeks yeah two weeks two weeks well june 24th that's almost two weeks that yeah i think that works right june 24th no no that's every last saturday gone all right i do my show about death at a funeral home in brooklyn blair mozzarella funeral home every last saturday of the month uh tickets are available at live after death show.com you know i'll be touring yeah you go around places they should get your website yeah all the dates will be on my website

as they're added you gotta go to this freaking funeral show you're gonna be moved you're gonna be moved I'm good at what I do you're gonna be moved alright and that's it for us at the Quarators HQ

and so as always question everything bye