Quorators - Bathroom Talk

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW IN BROOKLYN ON APRIL 26TH OR ELSE https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quorators-afternoon-delight-tickets-1290256224099 --- Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Do you pee in the sink? Why is that? Can an emo have HIV? Have you ever just taken out your wiener and peed? --- Check out Whitley @ https://www.whitleywatson.com Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

Holy moly important news! The Quarators have a live comedy show Saturday, April 26th at 4 p.m. at The Gutter in Brooklyn. They are comedians. They read crazy questions from the website Quora and make fun of them. And tickets are 15 bucks. Again, it's The Quarators at The Gutter in Brooklyn, April 26th, 4 p.m. Check it out. Ha ha! Thanks, Tayzonde. Another episode of Quarators starts now. Quarators. You're listening to Quarators,

my beloved America's premier Quora-based podcast. Coming into your headphones real smooth. We are back with Alex, Jeremy, and Claire, the full crew. Wow. Very sensual opening. Buckle your seatbelts. There may be some turbulence on the World Wide Web. Are you trying to have a cool Tay Zonday voice?

I wasn't specifically. I'm not. I don't try to. With my idols, I don't try to specifically steal from my idols, but they do inform my style. Totally. They inform the decisions I make. and the the way that i do things is somewhat chocolate rain because of it but huge thanks

to friend of the show tazon day for promoting our live show april show 26th we would love to see you there these tickets are going fast i just hope you can get one and um you gotta be there maybe otherwise i mean we could have we could have a line at the door that i hope you get in but there's no promises because so many people want to come in they want to see the great chorus you might as well just not come yeah just to forget it actually yeah you might as well stay home it's basically sold out it's a great way to advertise just say like you know what you probably won't get in uh i'm sorry maybe next time but you know we got a lot of great stuff coming up for you today you may have noticed no guests today and that is just something that happens sometimes in

the crazy world of entertainment but we've got a great show for you all kinds of stuff is happening on the web um isn't that how we normally are yeah we don't get yeah it's often without guests I think we've had guests every week for the last three months. We've been listening to women. We've had a lot of women after many men in a row. We've been platforming their voices. Wow, I didn't even notice because women are just like men but different. That's right.

I'm actually colorblind to them specifically. I don't know what colors they are. Everybody's non-binary to me. I frankly kind of think they're all one lady, but that's aside from the point. The point is today we have no guests, which allows us to get quite naughty with it. Today's theme of bathroom talk. Now, I would put in a flush sound here. I don't have one.

I didn't make the effort to go get one before we started. So I suppose we could take this time with an appropriate pause to close our eyes and pretend there's a flush sound. Let's take a moment to do that. Seems like bad podcasting to take a pause. To imagine it? Okay, it would have been there, so that's fine. We don't have to pause anymore.

um but we got all kinds of great stuff um you know the bathroom is a place everyone uses but it's also kind of the last taboo in many ways would you agree you think i still think sex is pretty taboo well where do you think you're having sex in the bathroom that's right what if you work on an airplane where else are you gonna go that's right you gotta have sex in the bathroom i think cockpit you go cockpit you have a big uh i think most airplanes they're having a orgy in the cockpit yeah that's what they're doing back there i've only seen soul plane you know how easy it is to fly a plane you just press a button yeah then you just go to town on each other that's pretty much the case i mean you gotta like wiggle the sticks at the end yeah you

sure do you sure do have to wiggle those sticks everyone copped out the point is you fuck in the bathroom um shake them off uh we oh hi club we got people send in all kinds of uh questions that frankly i'd be embarrassed to ask someone i don't know that well directly face to face and so i've compiled those for us to do here today on our bathroom talk episode that's our space of the week jeremy yeah before we get into that our space of the week of course hit the button space of the week welcome to ask daddy whoa this is a chorus space it's got an ai generated image that says ask daddy chorus space says it is time to ask daddy anything a project of http s backslash backslash info ago

oh this is an info ago project now this is uh it seems like the main moderator of this place is jenny huh content writer at info ago i don't know if she's so jenny is daddy maybe anthony scott is daddy he lives in london anthony looks more real he looks like he might be daddy if he's in london he's probably papa he might be he's got his email on here he's he's also um the admin of ask baby oh which i don't really feel like what would be the point what would be the point of he is the admin of like 20 fucking things he's also the admin of donald trump fans ask mind ask doctor make money online 2026 so don't look in that yet because you gotta wait a year you gotta wait it'd be too early if you if you look in there now you're just not gonna understand selfish people

interesting facts ever not no no qualifier for those just interesting facts ever do you want to save interesting facts ever that seems like something we could go to another time yes we're saving it we're not looking at it okay don't look at don't talk about interesting facts ever now but the point is this is ask daddy i am a daddy myself yes do you have any um do people ask answers yeah do you have any answers yeah i often say no is often my answer to that is that what you say to your daughter yeah i say that's enough i say no i say go to your room which is hard because we live in a one bedroom so it is also my room yeah i'm just often uh the iron fist of holding society so i expect that to be the vibe of this space is there any other do you have any other

thoughts on it what's in ask daddy before we click around well i feel like everybody's always asking daddy what they can't ask mommy because they go daddy will say yes or daddy will not care about my health and well-being as much as mommy. So he'll let me do anything. Mommy is much of the time more of a wall than daddy. My family was the opposite. My daddy would always say no, but mommy would say yes.

Well, in the two-party system, you have to flip-flop, right? Sometimes, yeah. You know, wherever your interests are advanced, if mommy is a no, daddy may be yes. And they find out you asked both, and they're quite peeved. That was what the election was about, right?

Mommy versus daddy. It kind of was, and we picked daddy. We did go with daddy. This is daddy's fault. That's an interesting choice. We're in Daddy's America now. Sit on his lap. It's Daddy's America.

It's Daddy's America. Mommy has to go. Mommy's going to prison, unfortunately. She's been executed and she's a clone. Oh, no. What's in the space? You put a question for us here, Alex. Let me find it.

I don't know if I found this one. I thought maybe you did. Oh, maybe I found it. Here's a question. Are Russian women really that beautiful? This does sound like something I found, actually. I was actually asking myself this same question this morning. Daddy would know about that.

Yeah, daddy would know. The answer is they are. I've been seeing a lot of Russian men around going, he's beautiful. Yeah. So therefore, I think probably Russian women are beautiful. Famously, the Russians are very beautiful and then age incredibly quickly all at once. So that's kind of the monkey's paw curling there. That's a stereotype of a few different things, right?

I mostly know it for Russians. What other racial theories would you like to advance here in the Aztec? So I've been actually measuring a lot of skulls. And there's some interesting stuff going on in these craniums. Okay. In the grow space. And I found that we all descend from the caucus region. No, I don't know.

I don't think that's true. I wouldn't go ahead and quote Jeremy on that one. Are there any answers to really that beautiful thing? I might have put this one on here. Does it look like there are any answers? There's no answers. It says daddy's away. So, Alex, you're daddy.

What do you want me to say? The answer is one million times yes, and then a heart eyes emoji. Okay. So go ahead and type that up. How do I do an emoji on this one? Go ahead and find out how you do an emoji on Quora, because it's easier said than done. Oh, do the cat. The cat.

Wouldn't it be funny if we did the cat? The cat one, I feel bad, because I don't think this person listens to our podcast, but I saw someone do a cat heart eyes emoji once on Twitter that I know and it is like burned into my brain. You know, I don't think they're the only one to use it. No, it was specifically- I think it's actually quite popular.

Their thing was he was a guy, a nice enough guy, but he would always respond to like women online. Oh, with the cat heart. And one of them he wrote, it was like beautiful women posting like selfies and he wrote, welcome to my eyeballs, heart eye cat emoji.

And it was just, I think about it all the time. Whenever anyone posts like a sexy pic, I think welcome to my eyeballs. jeremy has met the inventor of the cat eye emoji i don't feel like that's heavily influenced welcome to my eyeballs have you met my penis that's good punch up on that there's how do i make it not former i don't want to say former daddy yeah former daddy's sad as hell whatever whatever you care it's former daddy i miss my dead kid

Can you see who asked this question? Oh, yeah, I can. Potentially. Question log. Anna Sebastian, who has been banned for some reason, even though she contributes to Ask Daddy. Probably for some things that, and Ask Baby, and Ask Doctor. She posts all of her questions into Ask Daddy and Ask Doctor, pretty much.

She's laundering the questions through Ask Daddy. We got to look around and just read a bunch of the Ask Daddy questions, because I don't get the vibe of the space yet. No. Let's see. why is it illegal to climb the pyramids i didn't know it was this is a great one for daddy are there any truths that are too terrifying no that's something you ask a daddy that one makes a lot of sense to me immediate picture of a flood many people have drowned because they did not know

this okay and then it's a turned over minivan but it is on quora plus so we don't know what it is and we may die yeah it says don't wait don't waste energy so basically it's like if your car goes underwater here's what you should do what are the first three oh we can see most of it actually All right, let's read this. If you find yourself in your car underwater, don't panic. Here's some things you can do. One, don't waste energy trying to push the door open. Don't open the window.

The water pressure will never let you out. Three, remove the head restraint. Four, use the sharp end of the iron to kick open the glass behind you. The car is designed to float on water, and the back window can be used as an exit. I did not know that. Okay, but there's a really important note here. Translator's note. this is great information but it's a little hard to understand okay that's the part that's locked

behind quarry this escape method uses a lever to break the glass it's very useful so i'll add a little more information so the headrest the the metal of the headrest you used that's what daddy said yeah i'm just my suicidal daddy i'm just telling you what i know by listening to daddy and he's saying you should use the headrest lost in daddy translation yeah all right this is a good daddy question go back to the list there okay so there do you want to do why is it illegal to climb the pyramids i just want to keep looking at the other questions i want to try to get a vibe here what movie seems seen seemed fake but we're actually real daddy daddy does know that really well daddy's always talking these are general in general things daddies talk about the the chest

waxing and 40 year old virgin we talked about that yeah that's one of the main ones when he kicks the helmet and what are the rings and he hurts his foot and he yells his daddy knows all of these this is a daddy of a certain age yes well how young should your daddy be he could be young enough to get you in trouble oh he could actually switch from daddy to daddy of a different family i think it is the government police and lawyers who are committing illegal acts against the country the laws of this country to suit their own convenience but what do you think daddy oh we should answer that one okay awesome real quick what design have you thought to yourself what a sloppy job okay that's the best one for the space so far but go back to the doctors committing

crimes oh it's anise again oh it's the same daddy as before and he's talking about uh fatal police motorcycle collisions that seems unrelated anise something that was suspicious self-inflicted accident unfortunately this is also behind quora plus we cannot it also doesn't answer the fucking question no anise shut the fuck up do i think it is that i want to answer that question oh my god he's answering all of these it's all anise oh that's anise's camping ass daddy what do you want to say do you want to answer the question about the government police and lawyers who are committing legal acts against the law i'd say i know i do not think that is happening okay no and don't even pretend that it is we don't need to punch it up just just tell them uh i don't think that's the

case that way it's us and anise oh yep and you save the cat heart eyes emoji that's good we'll keep using that today enter my eye welcome to my eyeballs welcome to my eyeballs and that's a cat saying that probably to a can of tuna or something that's right which is how that guy sees women as like a cat looking at a can of tuna men just see women as a can of tuna you know when they're really hungry meow meow meow you ever look at somebody and you're so hungry that they kind of morph into like a big turkey leg oh boy now what and you're saying for this person they turned into a can too yeah yeah okay let's let's move on from industrial huh that you're seeing women as cans you don't even see them as the actual animal itself it's kind of we've been

very far removed from nature can you tell me a moment when you realized oh japanese people have become poor and this is once again for daddy uh anise has also been here would you believe it yeah he says the book titled the complete suicide manual was once a bestseller okay japanese people have become poor and it teaches you how to commit suicide wait that looks cool it's like a very metal looking book yeah well it's a guide on how to commit suicide but can i just say anise knocked it out of the damn park yeah i know he kind of nailed it yeah yeah do you think he's really this beautiful k-pop guy pakistan um he's got a lot going on he's he's answering a lot of questions he's on ass daddy but um he's probably the one k-pop star who lives in pakistan i'm just thinking

i think you're right they are neighbors i believe korea and pakistan is that true jamie pull that up i don't think so i don't think that is jamie pull it up we could ask daddy If daddy was right about this Oh boy will daddy be eating on that For the rest of his damn life Korea is really actually It's not even close Isn't Pakistan like west of India

Yeah You can't win them all I would say it's about 4,000 miles away It's quite far actually You know They should be friends We would not let that slide I like that Japan has a little heart on it for you

Oh that's cute This guy loves Japan. It's because we... Because of the vegan restaurant? We were hearting a restaurant to go to. Anyway, the point is... My freaking heart's Japan. Pakistan.

This guy is in the one Korean boy band that had to eject him 4,000 miles away to Pakistan. We're doing daddy questions. All right, we're doing bathroom questions. All right, yeah, this is about shit and dicks. Daddy loves bathroom. Open up. All right, hit the button.

Quora MD. Oh, there's a tiger in this hospital. i don't know you could do two it's quorum d what's your illness today is it aids do you pee in the sink why is that uh back on this shit do you guys know about those pink have we talked about this before this is a very popular thing i don't know i have talked about this at length on several podcasts but i don't know if i've done it on this one i've talked about this before just in life i'm a big defender of you're a big defender

are you peeing in sinks at home guess how high off the ground i am around sink to penis level alex does a listen know about this i haven't been doing this in my sink so my friend mike used to have parties all the time in his basement and be like wouldn't go upstairs was parents were upstairs so i would go it was in high school and we would all i we would all pee in the sink and then laugh about it was there no toilet in the basement um no you had to go upstairs to go to the toilet so the sink was actually a great alternative and i was just looking at the whole time thinking why not sink and this was like an industrial sink this happened in my apartment in college yeah where um we had a big party but our bathroom

was separate from the shower and people got really drunk and would just go to the shower bathroom and just pee in the shower into it. I don't like that. I don't like any of that. Cleanest place in the house. No, it's not. People think that just because water is wishing away every day doesn't... They weren't

taking showers. No, they're not taking showers. They're going into our bathroom and pissing into them. You know what the sad thing is? I've been watching so much Gold Rush that I think people really underestimate the weathering power of moving water and its ability to... I hope

down the elements that it passes over over enough time. Doesn't it solidify? That's how gold is created? You get crystals, but the gold is, you know, it's brushed down from sediment over thousands of years. You're going to get a soft layer of piss crystals. Which will be worth a lot of money eventually. What if it's fool's piss crystals?

Well, then you're going to be throwing your baskets in the trash. I hate painting the sink. I don't like this. It's one of the few liberatory experiences left in the world. But here I see a woman is answering the saying that she pissed in the sink. All right, we got Samantha Larson from New England here. Wait, what? She says, sure, a few times.

Once when the stalls were all taken, I had to go. No one was in the area near the sinks or waiting outside, so it was a simple matter to perch my butt on the rim of the lowest sink attached to the wall and pee. When I was done, I used a few paper towels from the dispenser to wipe, wipe, wipe, and dispose of them in the wastebasket. This is gross. Bro, you had to be so fast in a public bathroom to get away with this.

It's already gross enough for guys, but having a penis, at least you have a little hose attached to you. Yeah, you don't have to sit on the sink at the Yankees game, where I'm assuming you were. That just tracks on being from New England, so I think this post is real. I think that's real, too. Yeah, that is some real New English.

That's Samantha Larson. Yeah, and she's in the space, a woman's poopful life. So she's kind of the... We found so much good shit already today. She's the perfect person for today. Cora is such a dumb fucking website. How many times have we gone on a random thing and see a person who's just like,

yeah, sometimes I like to hang out with my kid. And then you click on their profile and they're like, I have a space dedicated to dumps. You click on it and you find out their kids are just little turds arranging little people. A woman's poopful life. But emotional abuse survivors has posted a lot.

quite a bit no and it's pinned real quick this is women women pooping in public restrooms pooping at home diarrhea constipation six contributors 71 followers what's one cooking trend that's making a comeback pooping in the sink pooping in the sink here we go have you ever pushed your bowel out and constipated and got stuck halfway out of your rectum how did you remedy this horrible situation someone's medical advice this would be a very popular episode i'm sure it's already a big hit with me we're gonna love it as much as they loved master chief episode god do you think it's gonna be that good i don't know i feel like whenever we talk a lot about poop people go oh no oh yuck in the sink everybody does so fun i know right talking about pushing your bowels out

when your constipate is so cool that's such a cool image whenever people get precious about pooping it's like oh are you the one person who doesn't poop yeah no you probably poop the worst Sorry about my weird quirk where I get rid of food I ate. It's waste. Wait, I like this chart about what poop looks like. The Bristol stool scale. Hold on, let me find Anglospot. This is actually a bit disgusting to me.

Anglospot. We're here with the Bristol stool scale. You've got severe diarrhea, honey. It looks like, if you don't think about it as poop, it just looks like chocolates. Sure. Yeah, I guess the hard ones do. Anyway, so let's describe the Bristol stool scale

because, again, this is an audio format, right? So if you're listening, this is a type 1 to 7 scale. Type 1 being the hardest kind of poop, type 7 being the softest. And this is just what happens to the lads when they're coming home from the pub in Bristol. So type 1 is separate hard lumps. And you can use this for dogs as well.

And these are kind of, well, they look like chocolate raisins, I would say. They're like little pebbles. They're little movie theater snacks. We all know what we're, we've all been there. Whoppers. And it's not entirely about hydration, I guess. It's just constipation versus diarrhea. So that can be many different factors depending on your health.

If you're from England. If you're from bloody Leeds. Number two is lumpy and sausage-like. That's mild constipation. Right. and that looks like uh sort of a bunch of whoppers have melted together that's right right whoppers not the hamburgers the again the movie that's a that's a candy right that's a chocolate yeah yeah we're all in agreement here and it looks like they melted together into a super whopper

which when i do find it in the case i'm like i wish you were 10 different ones yeah break it apart yeah it kind of pisses me off uh number three is a sausage shape with cracks in the surface i found these to be the biggest poops i ever make is type three type three is like your classic poop. And they're saying this is normal. Now, type four, I feel like I would say is your classic poo. Yeah. Does that make sense? That makes all the difference in the world. Come on. Get rid of the second

pee. Type four is Christmas poo. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo. Yeah, it looks just like the first off. Poop. That's right. And then they break up again because they're too soft. They don't need to go over, but I will point out Type five is like brown chicken nugget. Very important to say that number five's

main characterization on the scale is lacking fiber, which is the only one that's like that that's an interesting little described as soft blobs with clear cut edges i don't think i've ever had soft blobs with i don't know you seem kind of sick if you have any of the bottom four three at least um or top one yep um two through four you're doing great we love you i'm sorry to everyone in england yeah well stop eating beans so much and pork blood or whatever yeah whatever they're doing over there why are your foods blood what is it what Didn't you fucking Chupacabra?

We need to become popular enough that we can do a show in England one day. Can you imagine like Quarriators, Anglo Spotted? And we're going to cross the street at Abbey Road? That's what we're definitely going to do. It's going to be us and then your cat. It's going to be a rule. Piss in the sink at Abbey Road.

Bristol, Stooge. Do you want to read another entry from a woman's full life or do we want to move on? I would like to check out a woman's Poopful Life a little bit. Because isn't today bathroom? It is bathroom week. We have to read it. Have you ever experienced having blood in your stool?

I mean, these are just kind of intense. I like that they're informative. I mean, it's not a pervert space, which is what... Typically, what color is your poop? When we clicked on this space based on the woman saying, I pooped at the Yankees game, go Mets, I thought for sure it was another pervert account sock puppet where a man pretends to be a horny poop woman.

but it appears that this is like a real uh genuine woman with curves and she is pooping out there and good for her i answered the what color is your poop i said brown thanks all right did you do the cat no it's pretty good oh it's a different space let's not let's not bother editing that um okay daddy question thank you for being boston strong samantha larson do we want to read any other pee in the sink things it's all women maria said oh boy there's all caps oh boy i peed in the sink for the first time today i'm going to tell you about it in details this woman's face next to this picture she's a young social activist her bio says hashtag girls can pee standing up hashtag girls can be hairy she's too proud by half she lives in brazil this is a very funny

thing to be like i'm an activist for girls being hairy yes and this is another space that she's the admin in girls can pee standing up wow i'm sure they can now as a regular attendee of the woman's poopful space, this is kind of a different approach to the same topic. A girl who pees standing up proudly. Why is this her thing? All genders can join. Do you think that she's using one of those

cups that they sell? Unless her urethra is quite tight and can sort of shoot. That would be interesting. Because otherwise the pee has gone all over the place. This is the main thing I was going to say is that if you're a woman peeing standing up, isn't the main thing that you're

going to pee on yourself? yeah it just doesn't seem it's not like the patriarchy has many tendrils but i'm not sure that this is one of them specifically you know maybe that's my um that's my privilege speaking can we read the rest of her read it read it and we oh boy i peed in the sink for the first time today i'm gonna tell all about it in the details i'm on vacation in rio in an apartment rented by my mother in the bathroom sink doesn't have a high height, so you might imagine what will happen. Can I say real quick, I like

that you said, oh boy, like you're that TikTok guy who goes like, oh boy, big news. You want to talk about the liberal news guy? It's the same thing, right? I'm the peeing woman. Oh boy, oh boy, big news.

Oh boy, oh boy, big news. Big news. So my mother took my dog to the pet shop to have a bath near of my apartment together with my brother. He wanted to go too. I can't focus on this sentence. I have to move on. It's hard to read.

I decided to stay home alone and I thought on a daring idea. This is a second language I imagine. I hope so. Pee in the sink in bold. I know how to pee standing up parentheses. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. And I always wanted to try to pee in a sink someday.

Since the bathroom sink in bold was a few inches taller of my genital area i took a small table yes a decorative small table i tried a chair before i delight to pee in the sink i climbed on the small table and perfect ideal height so here we go i raised the front part of my dress i pulled my panties aside opened my labia and started peeing. Those are the steps. Brazil is a wonderful place.

I guess if you don't want to get pee on your labia. Yeah, hold on. Let me move my labia here really quick. I'm so sorry, but my labia is in your way right now. I'm going to get in a fight here. Hold my labia. Hold my labia. Yes, I was peeing in the sink for the first time.

all caps exclamation point i was quiet just seeing and listening my stream going into in it just enjoying my moment when i finished urinating i smirked and i said oh my god i peed in the sink really i was very happy and i like to pee in the sink i had to clean it or my mom would find out yeah but i'm sick of my mom finding out about that when she's off to some store with my brother so i like to this daring moment and i want to do this more times and it's good to save water don't make this about saving water no you're not saving you're a pervert i being a girl who be standing up can have more p daring moments in my life hashtag girls can no way there's one more idea december 28 2020 is the day that i peed in the sink for the first time hashtag normalized

girls peeing standing up december 28th a day that will live in infamy 110 upvotes you are totally awesome since jason ryan kelly it's so weird whenever somebody has a like little picture that's just too close to their face it is perfect for the women's pee commentary there's a picture of a bird that says you go girl okay and then there's one guy who said he's he's gonna tell an old guy's story yeah am i spending too much time on the being in the sink i'm just having a lot of fun no i i'm really interested in this woman's the her whole thing as an active i'm gonna follow her that she's an activist for peeing standing up and being hairy and being really good and brazilian and she's still posting because some of these are from march 8th so like

This is someone who's still up there and fighting the good fight. So good for her. Whatever. Posting a lot about urinal use. Thank you for your service. Everyone has their thang. Yeah. Yeah, let your freak thang fly.

Someone said, why is peeing in a urinal so important to you? I'm a male and I prefer to squat. And she says, nice request. Because since I learned to pee standing up in 2019, I always wanted to pee in a urinal. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She learned to pee standing up. Oh, pee standing up. That was the first time she peed in the sink.

Right, she peed standing up. I was going to say, I just received very different information in the post I read. No, no. That was into a sink. Okay. She started using a urinal in December 2021. So one year after a sink, she goes all in on urinals. After pandemic.

After that, I confess, I loved using it. And every time I have to pee in a public bathroom, I go to the men's room and use their urinals, even with male presence. I love using urinals. I know it seems like a silly thing, but, you know, sometimes the happiness are on the small things, and we deserve to enjoy them. Maria E. Hoffman, the girl who pees standing up. Don't try to catch her. I like that she's saying it like she's like Harry Potter. The boy who lived.

Don't try to edit Maria E. Hoffman's, I mean, audit Maria E. Hoffman's pee history because she has the receipts, honey. Diamond Grace says, you are a sexy woman. If I were a gentleman and you came into the men's room, I would be majorly turned on just knowing a woman is peeing next to me. Hot.

Huh. I would not be turned on by that. This person is perving the narrative. Yes. Don't perv the narrative. She's not doing that. She's actually going to animation college to study. Yeah.

That tracks more than anything I've ever read. Go back to the question originally, please, because I think we were going in a different direction here. There is a man with a picture of a landline phone. Please read it. Rick Klugman, who is a reformed smoker. That's a great name. Rick says...

Wait, when did he stop smoking? Oh, it was May 21st, 1989. Oh, thank you. Rick says, I'm about to date myself here. Youngins today take their cell phones, and a lot of today's technology for granted to them since it's always been around, but not for us, baby boomers.

Growing up, we had a phone. This is a long haul to the peeing in the sink. It's also hard to read because of the giant phone picture he put in the middle. And his yellow phone. Yeah, he's got the damn banana phone. Oh, come on now. that phone was hard uh growing up we had a phone that phone was hardwired to an outlet on the wall

the phone itself had a handset that was hardwired to the base the phone in the kitchen plugged directly into the outlet on the wall the handset was hardwired okay we see the picture if you're an audio listener can you picture the phone the hardwired handset was like being on a leash our movement was limited to the length of the cord anyone see where i'm going with this yeah if we were on the phone in the kitchen had to go pee we had two options one hang up the call or two pee in the sink now this changes everything for me and he goes ah one of the few advantages of being a guy you that's the one it's all for this killing spree uh okay so it's all worth it you're pissing in the kitchen sink yeah now that's disgusting they're all disgusting you just

gotta clean it up in the end there's a whole thing i'm taking a call have you guys not seen the subreddit piss sink sink pissers yes no it's like a lot of guys being like my girlfriend doesn't understand, but I need to pee in the sink. I feel free. Did we not do that on a Quarrior's Plus, or was that a ball-mount super? I talked about this for hours before, because I love peeing in sinks. It's gross.

It's so gross. I would think that peeing in toilets would be more fun because you're aiming. You get to aim on a wider target range if it's a whole sink. Also, the splashback from the sink, you're closer range. You're kind of farther away because of the depth of

the sink. I mean, ideas of depends on your kindness. I feel like a lot of these creeps are probably resting their dick on the sink, too. Yeah, and these creeps are resting their dick on the sink. Old dogs gotta lie! They're getting cold from the ceramic. Don't you think these old dogs

gotta put down their paws? Yeah. Come on, now. Put your penis on the sink. Put down their paws. Are you Googling? Do dogs put down their paws? Take me a task on this? I'm looking at sink fissures for Reddit.

We don't need to go to sink fissures. It's guys showing sinks. Oh, this guy's pee is when the lab needs a sample. It just makes sense. Okay, that makes sense to me, but also... Does it? But you need to... They're shooting a load up there.

It should be cleaner than a normal bag. I just pee over the toilet. Please urinate into the pool. This guy's got an NSFW. It says, I was recently tutored to aim for the sides of the sink. He's got his dick in the photo. See, this is why we're on Reddit. What are we doing here?

He's animated a eggplant into the picture. He's posting a picture of himself with his dick out at work peeing in a sink. He's wearing a suit and tie as well. That is crazy. And there's his pee. So he's really doing it. He's really peeing in the sink.

I'm blown away by that. I'm going to show one of those pictures on the YouTube. So this is a sex thing. I don't know. I mean it's about dominance of the sink I think it's about dominance of the sink I think these people also like to piss on people It's about the power over a sink

These guys like to piss on people Okay there's a Monsters Inc joke Can we please go back to Quora Is that a crime on the Quora podcast To read Quora Oh my god There's more beautiful pictures of rotary phones How long have we been recording so far

Probably like 6 hours We've done 40 minutes on just this Yeah, we got to get through a few more questions here. Let's go to another question. I'm not going to have anything to post on social media because our entire week will just be the sink piss question. Okay, have you ever just taken out your wiener and peed? Big yes on that.

I don't know what that means. Claire? Yeah? I don't know what this means. Steven Peterson says, I would just pee in my pant. What does this mean? What does pee pants guy say? Oh, pee pants guy.

yeah scroll down to pee pants guy who lives in florida time sometimes i can't get it out of time and i pee my tight jeans so badly there so there's a cool there's a cool um fetish that i know of where people are just pissing their pants because they like the way it feels right would you believe that pee pants guy lives in florida yeah yeah look at his tight pants that he likes to pee in this is your median voter in florida i don't think this would feel good this would stress me out i mean i've i've had pee on me before from my experience as a child and uh it's warm and it's sticky i don't like it my baby pee her pants all the time her pants being diaper and she seems so mad to pee her pants yeah she's like oh no i'm why i'm not comfortable that's what i'm saying

it doesn't feel good you've got one of those normal babies i think you're attracted to the pain in a way pee pants guy someone said uh just a few few days ago really someone said would you anyone have a crazy pee story they would like to tell like a pee pants and he says i have many and would love to share please dm me why you're too afraid to do it in public here pee pants guy share your damn story we're following pee pants guy now that's really good stuff elizabeth says as a woman i have no wiener to take out but i have peed in open places many times and i have been seen good for you at 48 and divorced i do have plenty of hands-on experience she said is her and then from the shire says did you mind being seen is this why she's divorced

what is what is this okay so she also is a fetish she knows about masturbation and hypotheticals she answers almost exclusively this is a writer uh wait we answered this one now let's let's move on to something more different because I feel like we've done too much pee. We've done a lot of pee. That's most of the bathroom. I also like this answer. Bill, Bill, Bill, will you ever learn? This is Bill Marr. The Bill, Bill, Bill

chant is Bill Marr. New rule. Don't pee in the sink. It feels good. It feels good to piss yourself. Okay. Moving back to poop. Great. I'm glad we're on this one. So I'm so happy we've moved on to another question. I got to get more of these questions out. How does fecal matter

taste? Gross. Thank you, Alex. I'm glad we made it there. Yuck. No, thank you. Okay. I mean, I don't have any good answers for this, but I would like to see what's on Quora.

I have a scat fetish. We're not reading that one. Nope. Read this one, Alex. Ralph Cordle, who has a PhD in epidemiology and microbiology from the University of Illinois at Chicago. Oh, cool. This is an expert.

When I was two to three, the neighborhood bully made me eat dog crap. Yikes. That's what we call a hook sentence, and they teach that. English class. The adult's response sticks out in my mind more than the actual event. However, he went on to become a state cop and undoubtedly made a living giving people more shit.

This is great writing from Ralph Cordell. I just got to pause and say I really admire his work. I went on to work cleaning out barns at the state fairgrounds and eventually became a parasitologist slash epidemiologist who has studied and published on diarrheal illnesses because of the dog poop. That's what set him on

this course. It was a formative event. This is stressing me out because my wife is an epidemiologist, and she's never talked about having to be forced to eat dog shit before. I'm worried. Have you ever asked? I've never asked. Have you ever asked? I've never asked. Well, maybe you should get to know your wife a bit, huh? I know.

For once. For freaking once. Back to Ralph here. I have worked with feces from probably 40 species of animals, using everything from an ultracentifuge. Species feces. Species, say that 10 times fast. That's a good band name. Oh, that is a good band name. Ultracentifuge to an end loader and have

investigated many dozens, hundreds of outbreaks involving diarrheal illness i do know shit that's funny okay it's really good he hasn't said how it tastes yet ralph it depends on what the source has been eating beforehand as well as its health as not everything that goes in the mouth gets absorbed in the gut feces are primarily a mixture of bacteria 50 to 80 percent by weight plus unadjusted food material seeds fruit and vegetable skins hulls shells fiber bone fragments think about it you eat some super hot food and the next day your anus is on fire because of all that capsaicin

was absorbed in some still-in-your-stool hot shit. If you have really high blood pressure, some winds up, some winds up in your gut and your stool is sweet shit. Cool. So that's probably the most informed answer I've ever seen on Quorum.

Yeah, this guy eats shit all the time. He loves this stuff. He's munching it down. He's dedicated his life to knowing how poop tastes. Oh, it's so good. There's more to it. Oh, there's a lot more, actually.

Uh-oh. Most bodily fluids have a slightly salty taste, and I expect feces are no exception. As our nose and taste buds are connected, if you eat a lot of onions or sulfur-containing materials such as garlic, your aromatic stools are likely to have a rather pungent odor and taste. Having said that, we have all eaten feces many times,

our own and that of others. What? Failed to wash our hands properly. Shut up. That's how you get pink eye. Enorovirus. Which you had recently. Which I had recently.

I didn't wash my hands good enough And I put my hands in my mouth Yeah, it made you Scottish It made, wait I lost it Norovirus What? I can't do Scottish like that, that's impressive

I'm eating shit It would be shite Wait, what was fat bastard was Scottish, was it? He was Scottish Rest in peace You look like I've had chunks of corn bigger than shit or something you look like a baby you look like a baby i'm gonna eat your

baby yeah i do think most podcasts eventually become austin power impressions yeah oh behave 100 ronald jones comments on the doctor's uh treaties here he says you're a great writer and storyteller but i don't believe a bit of it why wouldn't you believe the doctor killing spree you damn liar it's like ronald jones it's a fucking liar he doesn't know shit about what poop is um i will say that like and i noticed this especially when they were doing work on the subway a year or two ago on lorimer um they had cut into a sewage line or something and it just smelled so bad every time you walked from the g to the l that i could smell it and i felt like i could taste it every time and so i bet if you smelled a really pungent poo you've probably

got a medium idea of what it tastes like sure totally yeah so everybody you know check your experience check your history i think you know what it's like check your privilege act like you've been there before next question check your balance you guys know about fecal transplants this guy's talking about what michael ringland michael ringland's talking about fecal transplants what would you like to read it clear ralph i'm sure you are aware of fecal transplants and the fascinating results of such for others it became noticed that recipients of donated feces were changing their personalities and those changes were mimicking the personalities of the donors this led to investigations of the bacteria of the lower gut and potential treatment and depression

using happy shitter shit shit happy shitter shit curious and curious happy shitting shitters that's just how that's how that's actually written um well is he saying you can transplant poop into people and that it makes them happy it makes them happy happy poop into a sad pooper i don't understand how you put poop in me that's that would would you do that if you were like if that was the new like we this is the antidepressant that we know works we have to inject happier shit into your butthole yeah would you guys do it keep in mind you're really sad so you're like suicidal depressed like you have nothing to live for somebody's like you have three options you can like take like ssri's we can do like a ketamine treatment but this is the

real one that we know works we have to get like one of those um turkey basters yeah and we shoot happy poop up your butthole actually it's going to be me it's going to be me the doctor i'm going to take this part of the turkey baster. I'm killing it, by the way. I got a new Bugatti this weekend. Looks good. Next to the other one. Yeah, so I'm really happy.

I had a bunch of margaritas last night, so this is going to be easy for me. I'm going to head to the bathroom real quick and just make sweet love to this turkey baster, poop-wise. You doing it? And that's when I come back, I bring it to you, I put it into your damn mouth, and I go, does Baby Bird want his breakfast?

No, no. Does Baby Word want his breakfast? Up the butt, up the butt. Up the butt, up the butt. Is that how they do it? Are you taking the happy poop? I'd have to have tried everything else, I think. But I also want to know where the poop's coming from.

If there's an NPR article about how it works, I'd probably do it. Show me the poop. Wait, I don't think it is up the butt. Show me the poop. I don't think it is up the butt, though. You put poop up the butt? This is not a real thing. Yes, it is.

Yes, it is, Jeremy. Michael Ringland just posted about it. Should I Google fecal transplant? Okay, fecal transplant's here. Yeah, it's John Hodgkin's medicine. How are they doing it? How are they doing it? Open your eyes to this medical research.

It's not through the mouth. Robert Kennedy Jr. is now in charge of the fecal transplants, and they're required for sad Jeremy's like yourself. Transferring a healthy donor stool to a recipient's colon. Yeah, they're putting it up your butt. I don't think it goes up your butt. How else do you get to the colon? Colonoscopy.

Through the mouth. Enema. No. Look, this is oral capsule. Ew. Stool solution in capsule form. so you guys are thinking like you're much closer to the butt for anally than you are through the mouth the way the body works is designed to go down not yeah but it does say that those are the

ways that it's not through the mouth i mean it's saying colonoscopy and enema those are those are through the body is a magical thing your body's a wonderland alex can do all sorts of things a newer approach involves this is the ai by the way i was administering this dual solution in capsule before. Remember butt chugging? Yeah. That went up and started from the bottom. It was like a lethal practice. Yeah. Because

there's nothing in your body is prepared to chug. You ever butt chug? No, I've never butt chugged. You gotta try it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna continue responsibly peeing in the sink when I want to and not butt chugging. I love to butt chug happy poop. Alright, we're just

on the Wikipedia for fecal microbiota now. E. coli looks like poop. I can't read this anymore. I can't read this anymore. I'm done with this. Next question. Bathroom talk.

There's no answers. We have so many more. There's no answers on this. What makes your penis fluff? Well. I'm sorry, Miss Red. What make your penis fluff? I know someone

who wanted to be a fluffer. This seems weird. This seems like a very achievable goal. I know. This is their only question ever. Praise Ojemmy. Yeah.

I want to be a fluffer. Why don't you hang out under a bridge? What is stopping you? The people in, like, porn who, I don't know if this is a real thing, who, like, I think fluff the penis. Oh, make the penis look big. Make the penis look a little big off cam so that you can.

The porn stars are so numbed by sex. They're busy. They're at work. It is not real sex to them, so they need, like, as much stimulation as they can get before they go into it so it looks like they're actually excited to be there. And so they get blown. Oh, blown.

It's just blowing dudes. First they get blown? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? They get blown just to get their head in the game or whatever. I guess I'm always surprised when I'm like, wow, they're really ready to go immediately.

That's why it's movie magic. The idea of porn as a movie is always fascinating to me. Nonetheless, that's for a different episode of Bathroom Talk. Do we want to say any answers for this? We can write one.

I kept saying I was the DP and everyone was all confused. This didn't happen. He's lying again. Shut up. It's another one of these side things Jeremy's getting. I really like these related questions.

What does a soft penis look like? All right, you can't click that. How can I see your penis? What is the last picture that made you cum? That could be interesting. How do you have a big penis better than having an average penis? And do women want men with a big penis?

See, that's a genuine question. How do I make and keep my nipples bigger? I've never heard anyone want that before. nipples bigger anyway what's the last picture that made you come there was a look on that all right just gonna be nude women no what if it's like a spongebob no it's not a funny website it's just gonna be nude women this picture of my wife and a lot of nude men i bet this this is a picture of my wife getting a guy ready for her first dvp i wish i had a pic of both of us in her dick versus dick versus predator oh no all right what if the predator was

we don't want to see this guy's wife right well i mean maybe this girl i know breast she sent me a picture of her sent her a dick pic this girl i know breasts girl i know probably to answer your question this girl i know breast i don't want it jeremy you're teasing me too much with all these beautiful I really thought there would be like a cool cartoon there's nothing genuinely funny on here ever it's just sickos this one's a gif suck his cock as he was coming confusing Debbie I do I don't think you're really a teacher I don't want to see it I mean I mean the the grammar of it does make me want to see it I went to the comments nothing better than getting sucked off by a pig do not scroll down that one's not blurred something weird

the top of that it was her head it was no but there was a it's the hand i don't want to see her shoulder we're not we're not doing it we're not doing it i don't want to see anything reamer supposed to who's the pig i think reamer i think i think this woman is the pig i can't i think it's Screamer's sucking himself off. No, change the channel. Change the channel. We're leaving. We're leaving.

We're leaving. Okay, moving on. I'm so upset. Can a bot circumcision surgery be remedied? I had it when I was 13 and my penis ended up disfigured with a hole at the bottom. When I pee slash masturbate, urine slash cum falls down through that hole instead of shooting forward. Oh, baby. So you have two holes?

It shoot down instead of shooting forward That does seem really annoying I would hate to Well actually for a sink It may be more preferable As you can kind of drop shit No you have a leaky faucet That's the only way I'm okay with the sink piss

If your pee hole Accidentally ends up at the bottom Go to the doctor Why are you asking Okora Go to a doctor Not everybody can afford to go to a doctor I would say most people can If you have a hole in your penis, I will donate to your GoFundMe.

Also, you might be a redneck. 13-year-old circumcision, too old. Shouldn't have got it. I don't know who tricked you. Too old seems bad. You converted to Judaism. Yeah, I converted as a, well, a man. Well, that's what Abraham did.

Yeah, Abraham just going on God's quora, asking what to do with his new hole in the bottom of his penis. The original question said, at the end, implications on sex life, but the core moderators took that out. Implications on sex life. Now you're going to come down. You're going to shoot your load down. Weird.

That actually seems really bad for fertility. Yeah. Yeah. It's supposed to go in. You want it in there. To answer your question, it's supposed to go in. We have an answer from MR Hassan, who is a former paid surgeon in Malaysia. Yes, it can be repaired.

Don't worry if female can undergo sex change. Create penis, but more in just repairing an accidental hole. I love the kind of carefree way that we're phrasing this. It's like a weird way to describe it. I think their idea is, yeah, we can go crazy down there. We can do whatever you want. What do you want me to do? Malaysia, we'll do it.

You heard of Amelia Perez? If you're looking for Pakistan, it's nowhere near Korea. It really isn't. It's not even close. It's famously a peninsula. It's just not even close. Sorry to hear that, though. The complication that you developed is called the urethral fistula.

Ouch. Oh, baby. Ouchy. It's very rare to happen as a result from ritual circumcision. It's fairly common to boys who are born with congenital abnormal pee hole at the bottom of the shaft, a condition called hypospadias. You said specifically it's not this. For what it's worth.

Sometimes during repair for this hypospatic penis, to refashion the hole at the penile tip fistula like what you are having could develop as a complication of this corrective procedure. This is more common than post-circumcision. Your circumcision doctor should be sued. You need to get all of that rabbi's hats that he has on it.

All of his hats and coats that you can sell on the black market because he did you dirty. Yeah. Good. Read this bottom. You're at the second paragraph? Okay.

MR has not continued. Anyhow, the person that can repair your defect is either a pediatric surgeon, urologist, or a plastic surgeon. Most are trained and experienced with this problem, but not all, so you have to ask them specifically if they regularly do hypospadias surgery. They can help you close the hole well. If not, they'll know someone who does it in their fraternity. I think that's not like a college fraternity.

I don't think it's like one of the brothers will help you. and we'll refer you to them accordingly. They can even add on accessories if you want during the same surgical setting. I'm kidding about that last part. Hey, thanks for joking around. Great joke, MR. We like to keep things light here.

Quarrior's live show, April 26th at the gutter, and it's in the afternoon, so it's just a casual afternoon hang. It's going to be a great afternoon of reading these kinds of things. It is selling out quick, though. It's so funny when we do the live shows and we look at these things and people go like,

ah! No, don't! It says penis. We should do something where we do get at least a couple of interesting photos. For the live show? Yeah. Some nudity? Not nudity per se.

What are you proposing exactly? I don't know. We're fishing around for... Maybe watch some porn together with the whole movie theater. No, no, no. We'll talk it out. It's Mystery Science Theater for Porn. The answer is yes, they can fix your penis hole.

I like this question. Why does my cum drip out of my penis instead of shooting out like a water pistol after masturbating? It's because you're low on ammo. Yep, that's why. Is that why? I don't know. I guess. Probably.

If you're jacking off too much, you don't have enough cum. You got to reload. Yeah, wait a little bit. Reload! This has no answers on it. The question is, can an emo have HIV? Okay, so emos are more sensitive than most. They're emotional.

They are, well, they're sad much of the time. Would they share needles in that context? There was one answer that Cora deleted for some reason. What does that mean? I don't know. What could this have been? I mean, the rest of your answers are such shite. Yeah, how bad does an answer have to be to be deleted?

I don't know. It didn't make it up to the standard of woman's poop space. South Opi is 15,000 questioning. He knows Portuguese. his abby is like it's like the satanic uh hex but done wrong extra yeah what what's going on he's like a special help witch okay but the question can an emo have hiv and the answer is anybody can have it anybody can have it even emos even emos even egg punks even avril lavigne metalheads all genre yeah pretty much hair metal even taking back sunday can have hiv

so be careful on that bus. Everyone in Evanescence could get HIV if they tried hard enough. Even P.O.D. if they're featuring on a song. P.O.D., H.I.V.? American football or modern baseball, you could get HIV. Anyone could get it.

And, yeah. I was going to say something political. And Donald Trump. I just feel like they're going to bring AIDS back because they're going to take all the funding away from. you know anything that's helped save money he's doing it let's go to the listener questions you write in foreigners at gmail.com this is is that okay is that okay if i eat enough asparagus my pee smells oh perfect but if but if i eat enough asparagus

will my semen also smell like asparagus my girlfriend doesn't have that gene that allows you to smell it so we're not really sure what what are you talking about my answer here is don't bring your girlfriend first of all great question thank you for asking yeah we love when you write in that's quarriers at gmail.com i i think that yes it does smell like asparagus probably because i think everything you're far too ever any of your body stuff is going to be asparagus see asparagus is a japanese style the roy or curse that taints the body shut the fuck up i don't think i don't think that's a gene that you have it is not is it it's not like a cilantro thing is it it's a smell if you can smell the asparagus and the pee what or no no i think it's

i think it's genetic if your pee smells like sure yeah yeah but like being like my girlfriend doesn't have the smell the gene to smell it like i think he's just yeah anyone can smell doesn't understand what's going on. He's not like that poop doctor we were reading earlier. He's not like Dr. M.R. Poop. He's a run-of-the-mill fool we're talking to here. And the answer is that she

will be able to taste the asparagus in your semen. Yeah, maybe she likes it, though. I don't know. I can't imagine anyone would like that. I wouldn't want any... I don't see... I don't think anyone in the world ever in history would like that. Asparagus is so good.

No one likes vegetables. Being like, I don't want to eat my vegetables when you're sucking your boyfriend's dick or whatever. What if it's a cum form? I want dessert. Broccoli. Oh no, broccoli again. Seriously though, you do have to eat them.

You have to eat that broccoli flavored cum. It's the secret to a long life. But thank you for writing in. That's a great question. Thanks so much for writing in. You're the real heroes at the end of the day. Quick reminder, if you've listened to this end of the show, because this is the show right here.

we have a live show April 26th we would love to see you there and that is at the gutter in Brooklyn if you would like more of our show every Thursday we have a Patreon where you can support this show during these very tenuous times and keep it going I've had a good stuff

this week a lot of good stuff you can keep it rocking in the new year and that is patreon.com slash quarators Jeremy's got some real heat saved up for us there so thanks again for listening and writing in I'm sorry if you hated this episode so much um but numbers wise i i looked you've you've stopped listening by now right right when

we play the theme song the numbers go right but after that after this week we're gonna clean it up it's not gonna be like this anymore it's much better it's gonna be a normal podcast it's we're gonna have ezra klein on his fourth chair no more pee no more sex no more poo we're gonna be making a lot of money we're gonna get to the bottom of like i'm gonna the heck is going on in this society it's gonna be ezra klein us three and then an atlantic journalist every week in the fourth chair we ask them kind of about the state of different currencies and then every now and then we'll review a movie oh that could be fun i love movies well check back in for that i hope to see you on the patreon everybody bye