Quorators - Beautiful Women Images w/ Andrew Durso

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Can Politicians Have Ear Piercings? Is Godzilla Gay? Would It Be Okay If A Boy Bought His Mom A Bikini? --- Follow Andrew on twitter and instagram at @andrew_durso

so no lunk alarm and the episode starts now all right let's do a reset so sorry you know what planet fitness you know what planet fitness they have a lunk alarm don't even explain it we don't need the crunch because the thing is i'm always in there and it's kind of a it's a it's a sort of damocles hanging over your head the whole time are you a planet fitness guy when i lived in bushwick planet fitness was the closest gym And now I'm, like, a block away from the gym, and I live in... I think I live nearby where you used to live, because that's also... Well, the Crunch closed down.

What's the address? Let's get that on here, yeah. Start with the room number. The Pine Box, which is nearby. Ah, you tricky devil. I'll get you, I'll get you. Anyway, Planet Fitness has a lunk alarm. We don't need to dwell on that.

There's nothing funny about a lunk alarm. What is it for when we do dwell on it eventually, if you want to say it? What do you mean, what is it? You know what it is. I do because you explained it to me several minutes ago, but for those listening who don't know. First of all, I think everybody knows. I absolutely do not know. As a weak boy.

I think it should be the man who set it off. Where are we going to find someone who set off the Lunk Alarm at Planet Fitness? The Lunk Alarm is an alarm Planet Fitness installs to make its non-workout extremist customers feel welcome by saying that if you even try to work out too much, an alarm is going to go off. Right. and it's gonna scare you yeah if during calzone night you even like make a peep while you're lifting away yeah the big orange light's gonna shoot out of the wall and make a sound vaporize you and this makes it more welcoming uh yes because then if you are new then you know i guess

those people are scared to more expensive gyms is the idea right first of all i do miss planet fitness because it is i believe ten dollars a month yeah so like an impractically low number for the year that's good it was pretty good yeah that's damn good right well i think like their whole business model is they're just assuming the people who sign up for it won't ever visit it that's correct that's why they have the alarm anyway they're all their advertising is just hoping people make fun of it on podcasts well no it's you will it's like that's the one gym i didn't want to sign up for because everybody in every commercial for it looks like me it's like oh god the normal gyms make me so scared it's like the fucking average joes from dodgeball

A movie I re-watched this week And now I reference it That's a damn good poll The average Joe's from Dodgeball I've watched it this week Alright, we've discussed everything for far too long Let's get this baby started welcome to quarators the podcast where we try to figure out what quora is what's on there

people have been complaining that we have not been answering that question What Quora is? People have been like, oh, the podcast is really funny, but you guys don't really actually try to figure out what Quora is. In what way? Do people not know what Quora is? It's a website. I guess I shouldn't be so aggro against your listeners.

Well, no, they're asking for it. That's what listeners deserve. They're little worms who are being pedantic about our Quora usage. I feel like that's impossible, though. How do you not encounter Quora when you're just like... Um, so here's the thing. I actually have a new theory on questions. Some people have questions.

I have a new theory on why everyone's looking at Quora now. I think that Google did something to its algorithm like last summer that put Quora higher up. And so now we're all organically on Quora more. And if someone doesn't know what Quora is, it means they're not a curious person. Your listeners don't know because all they search is odd pornography. Well, again, that is all over Quora. Is that all over Quora? Oh, there's the oddest pornography.

Ask Jeeves Loyalists. What would happen if a big dog sat on my chest? That is literally what it is. It's like, okay, so if you go to Pornhub, you're looking up big dog sitting on my chest, sure. But on Quora, you'll be like, what would happen? What would happen if someone forgot to wear underwear today? And then people are like, I'm not wearing underwear right now,

and I'm a girl for real. Oh, so it's kind of like role-playing. Yeah. Okay, I guess that's kind of nifty. You hit the Dungeons and Dragons your way through a forum. Anyway, we're here with comedian Andrew Durso, famous comedian Andrew Durso. uh happy to be here thank you happy to be here at the website talking about the website talking

about the website nobody knows yeah no one knows what it is yeah the website for deviance and we refuse to spend our time academically deconstructing that uh andrew if you have not uh seen the show on the billboards in times square what we do we pull up quoras we read them and then sometimes we pull up other quoras and then read those and there's sound effects and that's kind of what we got this is going to be an hour of sexual role play back to the lunk alarm um we have one segment so far on the show and that is at the end of the show jeremy and i with uh the help and guidance of our guest we will formulate our own quora and release it into the environment and kind of see what we dig up there in the hopes of becoming quora famous yes um we have been coming into

an issue where it's just our fans answering the question, which is not an organic Quora response, or even... Again, not to come at your fans. That's kind of like tapping the glass too much. Yeah, yeah. It's meant to be looked at. It takes away the scientific merit

of the experiment, I feel. Everyone's trying to be the third Quorator. Who will it be? This is like when American Idol was big and everyone wanted to know who will be the third Quarator. We also have another problem where we recorded a bunch

of episodes too close together and then nobody answered them because it was like well, nobody answered it in the last day. Well, if we were really good, they'd answer it. Well, anyway, we have a bunch of them now. I'm leading up to say we have a bunch of questions now that have new answers. Okay.

So we can go into them. I think a lot of them are trolls. I think these are real. I haven't seen them, but i feel like they're real okay well the first question this is from three episodes ago if you were on a podcast what question could you get asked that would make you leave okay and somebody answered i love this answer from peter sisk retired software engineer i would never be on a podcast i do not even know what a podcast is killing spree yeah very helpful i mean you gotta take him at his word for that he's retired software engineer okay what else we got on that we have another

answer from troy bearden former vp project manager weed inspector who says there's only only one taboo when it comes to me when i'm willing to tolerate there isn't anything that can upset me like that unless you know my one taboo and it's probably going to be a swift ass kicking and not so much and exudes nope i'm not saying what it is so this is like you invite someone on a podcast that are like, that kind of reminds me of when your wife burned to death

in that barn. Ah! I guess nothing's too... Again, the delay on the moo is significant. I guess like nothing's too personal for you guys

because they have to be like posting on a website where like your profile doxes you because it's like full name and their profession. Yeah, I can tell you so.

This guy, I can see a photo of him and then he has a little bio that says, I've experienced the things that I'm truly passionate about. I'm an adventurer, a poet a teacher a lover a true friend i champion for the week and i am nemesis to the evil that

walks among us do not ask about my taboo i will not answer you except to kick your ass yeah we could tell you way too much about this man he lives in twain heart california like why do i know that i guess this just doesn't qualify i was like for a second i was like does this qualify as doxing but he put it all out there yeah i also want to remind people that um we got two answers to this no one answered it we said what what could you what would they say to make you even one person said i don't know what a podcast is and the other person says i won't tell you that so i and i think we have been clear about that that uh something we've discovered about quora is it's a website where you ask questions and people don't answer them that's independent

research we have conducted in these last 15 weeks great for like meeting people apparently so i think you're doing like role play space just like a fet life profile or just like i'm a nine foot tall fox and i'm so sexy i'll say this every episode we've stumbled across a fetish community that we didn't know existed so i'm sure we'll find one i'm excited some follow-ups on that today by the way that's true uh any other answers yeah so this is the next question from the next week who would win in a fight between master chief with armor and santa claus we got a lot of answers on this we got a lot of answers i have to imagine these are jokes that question is disrespectful to the master chief were people like waiting for christmas to answer is that what

happened i think people were waiting for us to release this is santa allowed to do the xbx trick uh it's bxr excuse me uh santa has magic so i think that a lot we we discussed this when writing it that said the santa's one we've talked about this so many times yeah again do you want to dive back into it again because i'm angry all right well i'll say this i've been saying i'll say this too much uh the first answer is a long description of how santa quote would absolutely decimate master chief decimate and there's a picture of santa going like this ducks this guy because i don't like him this is taiga b studied at the school of our docs see that's a quora user yeah he's the once chairman of the silly goofy clan so wait so okay this may be a listener now um

the silly goofy i don't know because he has 2.4 million content views which means that If he's a listener, he's also a Quora power user. I think that's the loophole, is if you are organically being on Quora as part of your life, you're allowed to answer our questions. Silly Goofy Clan, I also assume, is just like a Halo online thing.

And he only answers Halo-related questions. But he's on the side of Santa Claus, which is... Yeah, Silly Goofy Clan, red or blue? Right in. Santa delivering presents in the Banshee. There's a lot of fun stuff in there. All right, let's read this guy's answer, because I want to know what he says.

He says, he has to travel and deliver gifts to hundreds of millions of homes i assume he means i assume he means santa across the globe within a 24-hour period he then has to enter them without being noticed and without wasting the little time he's given he also carries around a single sack with every single gift inside and he has to be in the range of tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of tons of toys he would speed blitz and then bear hug john in half without question john is again master john 117 for your average list i was like very angrily yelled santa's not real santa is as real as master chief making this it doesn't matter how fast you are when a plasma

grenade gets stuck to your your thigh it does matter because you could dodge a plasma grenade oh i have bad news there's another the next question next answer also big santa defender yeah because santa's the obvious winner here i'm not according to durso right you're saying Master Chief. Listen, we all like to have Epic online or whatever. Master Chief would decimate Santa. It's not even a question. It's not even my intent to trigger you, Andrew.

It's just in the lore, he has stronger magical powers. Now hold on. Let's hear this answer out from the Dark Lord who studies at Canadian International School. Every Christmas Eve of presents delivered. You have to stop with those

audio drops. They just like scramble my brain every time We have 14 more we haven't pressed yet. This person posted a comic of Santa Claus defeating Darkseid. Okay. So Santa Claus was so powerful and elusive. Who's Darkseid? Darkseid is Superman's name.

He's one of the Titans. They spell it wrong, so it's okay. Thanos is a ripoff of him on purpose. Oh, Thanos is a ripoff of Darkseid? Yeah, they were like, we should have our own Darkseid. Is Darkseid also like an environmentalist? No, I think he's just like, what if I ruled everybody? What if I was a real piece of shit?

That's kind of like a better villain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's more of a heel. He likes to kill and destroy. You want to see Stone Cold give that guy the stunner. And yeah, he does do that in the DC comics, I'm sure. I think he kills Superman. Does either one kill Superman?

A lot of people kill Superman. I think Abomination also kills Superman. I've never read a comic book. I thought you said, I think Obama killed Superman. It sounds like a conservative meme. He triple-tapped Superman's wedding. Oh, wait, Abomination's a Hulk guy. I'm thinking of something else.

What's the guy who looks like that? Listeners, tell me what I'm thinking. I have not regretted asking a question more in my life. All right, anyway, it says he killed Darkseid. Yes, the Darkseid from the DC Comics, the same guy who has conceptual erasure and kidnapped Superman out. Oh, now we're getting into the DC Comics canon.

I can't read this anymore. sorry to this high school student who's going to college next year in Canada. Here's the thing. I'm just saying, when we wrote the question, I was like, we should have written a non-combat question for Master Chief, because it's all ridiculous. I can't make fun of

Quora now, I guess, though, because you are reading these responses to me, and it's like, it's a good point. Okay, fine. I guess he is really fast. We then got two joke answers. These are from listeners. We told them to put the word scrambled eggs in their answer to let us know as a compromise.

I think this is a fair compromise. If you must answer one of our quoras, put the word scrambled eggs in the code. It will not change. Do they do it in the end like a signature, or do they try to work it organically into the question? They try to work it organically. Okay. So this is from Dancom. Santa would make scrambled eggs out of the Master Chief, boss.

You're not joking. You are joking, but it's, I think if Santa were to forgo the milk and cookies for something more substantial like scrambled eggs, this would be no contest. Right? Thank you, Dancom. The code word, scrambled eggs. And then this next person did not put scrambled. Oh, no, he did. He gave a whole long answer that is extremely poorly grammatical

and then just says scrambled eggs at the end. Wow. Oh, so they did both ways. And there's a picture of Shrek. Oh, I like Shrek. I don't want to see him right now, though. Every night, this is not just Christmas Eve, every night I do leave out milk for the Master Chief

just in case he flies the ghost into my living room. And he doesn't need the calcium. His bones are titanium reinforced. We've discussed this on the show. I just want to be that turd in the Warthog so bad, man. We got to move on. Yeah, thank you for this answer. We can't read it all right now.

This could just be a Master Chief show. No, no, no. We have to move on. I'm sorry. It's been three weeks. We're going to move on to something very different. The question from last week, which was, what is the gamer national anthem? Okay.

Oh, change of pace. Thank God. We got two answers on this. One of them is from... It's the GameCube startup. Yeah, or the monkey version, or the original. Me screaming at an athlete because he won't stand up for the GameCube startup noise. what is the gamer national anthem um warren smith who's a professional mma fighter i really hope

that's true that's a hundred percent true uh i really think it depends on what game you're playing i've played many games professionally i thought that was gonna be backing music sorry it's on a loop of like 30 seconds so much i'm sorry uh i played many games professionally and was sponsored whenever i lived in korea the trains are real cheap there also please interrupt us as much as you want we're reading chorus i've played games at the highest level possible before world honestly if you're playing a game competitively with music on you're probably bronze or silver wow i don't play ranked herder i do love kid rock as my gamer anthem though i love his all-american attitude i walked out to his song

i don't know is that what it is i don't know kid rock during my last mma fight i got matched up against an olympic alternate alternate wrestler it's okay now we're soul brothers and now i make six six figures a year not risking my brain this was probably a tough question for this guy because it made him like question like do i identify first as a gamer or an american it was also probably hard to write in between having all the sex they're having all the time so this person has answered seven questions all of them are about being a professional mma fighter and then this one he was like i'm just gonna fit it in there kind of reminds me of when i did a krav maga hold i gotta see if this person so their answer to be clear was ball with the ball

a song we all immediately forgave jeremy for not knowing i don't know it at all it's the one where they say ball with the ball it's the one where he says my name is kid rock yeah it's kind of his only song yeah i have found this person on instagram i don't know if that's okay thing to say out loud yeah let's get that address in this is becoming more and more can i say his his username and we'll bleep it if it's too much what is it venom assassin damn that was a really funny bleeped thing that jeremy just said and i'm sorry yeah we'll bleep just one third of that hilarious name okay you can google it on your own jeremy the rule is never leave quora okay i'm leaving quora i'm sorry to worry he's a professional boxer we're

doing scientific experiments um all right well there's one other person who answered this andrew smith two smiths two smiths maybe that's part of it um oh this is a great beginning uh this is actually a more complex answer than one might think should oh sorry more complex question than one might think should yeah should it i'm terrible at reading today should it be something classical Of course, gamers have initially higher IQs, so the cerebral aspect makes sense. This has to be it. Someone please write scrambled eggs in this. Potentially something rock slash metal.

Everyone knows gamers are the knock-down, drag-out, balls-to-the-walls kind of fellows. Or maybe some EDM-type stuff just for hype. Wait, hold on. As a music lover, game aficionado, and overall eloquent person, I'd have to say that taking into account everything I said earlier, I am the Bull God by Kid Rock. That would be the most appropriate. So the answer is something Kid Rock has created is by far the obvious choice for the Gamer's National Anthem.

I think both of these people independently said Kid Rock. I like how this answer does reflect how diverse demographic gamers actually are. Right, except for their high IQ levels, which are kind of the foundation of this board. Wait a minute. This person is also a professional fighter. These are friends or brothers.

Well, when you're in combat, you're all brothers. Fair enough. By the way, if there was ever a time to play the law and order noise, I just made a crack in the case. I think that this guy, Warren Smith, answered this and then did the first ever juice this for a Quora.

He brought it as friends. Yo, Signal Boost, I just figured out the gamer national. Say it's something else Chris Rock did. Oh, Chris Rock. Kid Rock. Has anybody ever seen them in the same room? This is my new dumb conspiracy theory I have.

Is Chris Rock and Kid Rock the same? Is Chris Rock Kid Rock, despite them being two completely different guys? All right. This has been the longest intro we've ever done. Well, I guess these two, like, if you're a fighter, you're competitive in nature, and I guess these two fighters,

they want to see which one had the better Kid Rock song. I organically believe two separate professional fighters found our question and answered with their favorite artist, Kid Rock. That's absolutely very possible. When I am arguing my favorite Kid Rock song, I do find it to be a bit of a mental chess match. He has some of those soft country ones he does with some late rapping.

He has the one where it's like, I think this is probably the most recent kid rock song that was a hit, which is about, I'll tell you, it's the one that starts out like werewolves in London that becomes Sweet Home Alabama. Yep. I couldn't name a single kid rock song. Werewolves of Alabama.

Were you not even the one that, nobody gonna tell me how to live. Why don't I have that on the board? I think we'll get sued. What about I'll want to be a cowboy, baby? Sounds familiar. There's a city boy. You ever do a podcast with a city boy?

I don't even know Bob Wendel. There's this one guy who used to play this one kid rock song. It's a joke. And all I remember from it is there was a line where it was about people walking down the street saying, Fuck you. Fuck me? Fuck you. See, that's kind of why it's our national anthem.

That makes me feel like a gamer. Yeah, it does. it gets you ready to shoot dinosaurs or whatever you're doing yeah um we we should read some chorus right yeah this is thank you for all the responses and we look forward and i'm addressing quora.com directly here we look forward to interacting with you more every week all right now let's get to our favorite url beautiful women images.quora.com okay so i thought this was a really interesting choice uh a lot of these submissions today are by listener jay uh so Thank you. Send us your Quoras at Quorators at gmail.com

This is a community but this was a You couldn't really spend too much time in here because it's mostly entirely beautiful women images. I'm sure we could spend a lot of time in there. Hey, not while I'm at work, pal. But the thing is

Wait, so you can't post pictures on Quora. No, you can. Yes, you certainly can. I've also never, okay. I was talking a lot of game about who doesn't know Quora? the actual like functions of quora if you're gonna post something like ufc ring girl britney

palmer proves she's still a bad girl you're gonna post a picture of her what was the one i put you were talking about like the the sex like sexuality on quora you may have said a lot more esoteric this almost seems like quaint well i mean if you go to beautiful ladies if you go to beautiful images beautiful women images.quora.com you're gonna see all sorts of beautiful women images Well, this is almost like the fetish equivalent of like being in a knitting, where it's like, oh, it's kind of neat and old-timey. Oh, yeah, sports cars. The question that you put up there is,

this is how to use clean energy charging on iPhone, and then there's a photo of a model. Yeah, so if you were on YouTube, you could now see how to charge clean energy, and it is this gorgeous woman. And if you read the responses, they're all like, I'd let her charge me or whatever. You can see one in the top. Let's see a full-length photo of her wearing only a G-string and facing the camera.

This is like an iPhone advertisement. She's just like, I'm going to get in there with my teeth. Just Google porn. On Quora, posting dimes from 2003. I think if it's this, it's like you were saying, yeah, it's like cool cars, like UFC ring girls. It's more about the lifestyle than it is about an actual sex thing. Right, right. yeah it's about that andrew tate lifestyle the now imprisoned man yeah yeah right yeah you just

like smoke cigars and you're weirdly asexual this the the chorus it just says like apple's commitment to a green environment continues with clean energy charging on iphone it's like not so do you think a robot wrote this or like a human was like look i have an seo deadline i have to hit but i am on my favorite website so i'm gonna post beautiful women well i mean we're all learning about iphone right now yeah what's your favorite feature we're also scared of these like ais and like skynet taking control what if they like what if they become self-aware and they're just like here's a picture of ufc ring girl sexy lady um should we read the the next should we read this there's another community follow-up here

yeah so right under that a few weeks ago we talked about a community called swimming in clothes and these are people who just post photos of themselves swimming in oceans and pools wearing clothes wearing clothes like a never nude thing or is it it's just people who are like it's better to swim in clothes it feels better it's better for you part of it feels like public advocacy and then the other part is like uh-oh i slipped in in my jeans no no to be fair shame a fetish but there's no worse feeling in the world than a fully wet outfit well yeah just the socks alone we found a lot of photos of people uh just doing that yeah you're about to find some more so anyway we did like really sweaty

wouldn't know if you fell on a we we talked about this on the podcast and we were kind of just like that's a weird thing that people are weird about and then a bunch of people are like yeah this is a known fetish so everybody we didn't even know but um what is this how often do you end up going home soaking wet because while you hadn't planned on swimming the opportunity presents itself and you just couldn't resist jumping in with your clothes on let's ask the guest me yeah uh has happened once again sometimes my shoes get wet and i really hate it i have to like i'll make like a pit stop to go home so i can switch to a fresh new pair of socks you ever consider instead just hopping in a whole pool piggies and all yeah well i i live in new york so i have to like like roll

around in like a puddle or something you have to uh know wealthier friends i guess all right so you posted a link from go to the ymc from cut off jack that's right from and i i feel like i shouldn't be looking who lives up to his name by the way cut off jack in fact only once this summer i was out shopping in my newest and nicest jeans and t-shirt when i stopped near my local stream and the nice hot weather and there's a photo of him wearing the trashiest like ripped up pants and he said they're new so i guess he like bought designer full of holes jeans that he likes going and a cricket there's a bunch of photos of him um just in like a lake and then there's a bunch of pictures of his feet in the mud oh he got a little got a little dirty there had to go back

he's extremely dirty i don't know it starts with him clean then he's like oh i'm in the mud better go back in the lake and then he goes back in the lake yeah this seems like kind of self-fulfilling prop it's sort of a video story really there's several um there's several captions where he's like i simply couldn't resist there's one of him diving that it was it just looks insane everyone who's got like a sex addiction but for jumping in the lake because like the second he gets out of the lake he wants to jump back in the lake which honestly as far as sex addictions go i think really wholesome yeah really nice yeah i mean like god like sincerely like god bless hey get in there he also jeans still are dry a little bit on the top his description says

goes commando and torn cut off so he's like the arrested development character but real is that like a real thing like he doesn't have any sense of irony to this no this isn't i guess he just likes the feeling of clothes on his body all right there's several kid rock songs that's why you like the wetness because it makes the clothes cling tighter to your beautiful beautiful hugs your curve i just i don't feel like i should be seeing this guy's feet so much come on the issue i'm having is that cutoff jack is not wearing cutoffs he's not shape or size he certainly isn't he's wearing full-on designer jeans the name cut off jack i can definitely imagine like a facial hair thing going yeah actually that's just a sharp billy ray cyrus soul patch cut off jack describes

his status from his family's inheritance due to his crick loving behavior um anyway if you're listening to this go to the youtube i guess don't listen to it because you won't be able to see cut off jack yeah if you really want to have the full experience it's like when you see avatar in 3d yeah could you do that this time by the way because i just went yesterday i could not see it in 3d wait what it's only in 3d oh it's only in 3d but i was wearing goggles oh maybe maybe it's not anymore but i thought it was only 3d did you see in glasses you can see i there are like 2d show time did you see avatar in 2d did i mishear you yeah you did the new one yeah yeah It's in 3D.

Yeah, dude, it's like extremely 3D. I feel like I saw a different movie. Damn, dude. You know all those scenes at the beginning? Bro, you gotta get off Quora. Where they're like holding a bow in front of the camera and stuff like that? That's like all very like classic, like, oh no. Yeah, you thought it was just dynamic cinematography.

I can't see it again. Oh, you can see Avatar again. Come on, bro. I'm not a big 3D movie fan. This is my whole day. I mean, if there's one 3D movie you're going to like, it's Avatar 2. Avatar is the one to see. But I found it a little hard to watch, the 3D stuff.

Interesting. I feel like my brain isn't good enough for it. I feel like I have to really concentrate when I watch a 3D movie. Well, Jeremy, you may be too low IQ to appreciate it. I think I have too low IQ. So we do have some Quoras lined up about that. I don't know if they're in the Derser episode or not. I don't think we should read the low IQ one.

It was just grim. I was just telling you about it. Okay. But we do have our next segment, the quiz course. Let's just say this. If you're reading something in the New York Times, a low IQ person may have written this. They should make a sequel to The Way of Water

about Cut-Off Jack. Hanging out with a whale and a dirty lake. He's completely peaceful. Look at him go in the creek and get all wet. That's why those pants are all torn up. He's nine feet tall. He's trying to make them fit. What do we do, Cut-Off Jack?

They're after our children. looks like you'll have to get a little dirty. Oh no, these are new too. I better clean them off. Cut off jacket. He's cut off

jacking off. It's just him and that nine feet tall Na'vi very seriously waiting for his answer. That's why his head's cut off in all the photos. He's a big tall Na'vi. it really works in a lot of ways cut off jack anyway okay what's our next quora uh this is the quiz course our politics segment oh the quiz course uh which one of these is i got zen music that's pretty good with politics we must find the center of ourselves a lot of these audio

drops are really long like there's one that was like a full 45 seconds oh yeah we have a few of this one's still in the middle okay I ask you guys can politicians have ear piercings okay hard no wait are you saying like logistically

do we think they should logistically I mean they can have them I'll ask the question again can politicians have ear piercings I'll ask you the fucking question do we think cool out I don't know.

You've got to cool down. Are we saying that objectively in 2020? If we were judging, are we saying a politician with an ear piercing doesn't have enough electability to make it an office, or do we personally think that a politician shouldn't have an ear piercing? It says, can a politician have an ear piercing? Which I think physically they can. So you've got to assume, can they get elected if they have one?

I assumed they were asking, is it allowed? I honestly, I feel like they're saying, like... If Kirsten Sinema can be dressing up in her crazy... Yeah, in her... ...fucking outfits. Whack-a-doo. That's kind of the answer that they gave. Okay.

Did they have a picture of Kirsten Sinema? No, it's not Sinema. Like, oh, this is up for debate. No. Yeah. The answer goes, well, Governor slash Emperor Cuomo of the Democratic Soviet Socialist Police State of New York. That's our encore, baby.

had more than a hundred days of free prime television campaign time during the recent covid lockdown do you guys remember what piercings he has he has nipple piercings yeah nipple piercings nipple piercings that's hidden from the camera though one of my friends in georgia watched him all the time and noted that one day emperor cuomo had nipple rings showing under his t-shirt my friend is this was independent research my friend did by the way no one knew about this uh my friend is a sorry an n died in the wool from birth democrat who thought cuomo would make a great president of the u.s until he saw the nipple rings five exclamation points okay what was the question ear piercings just said yeah yeah ear

piercings okay so that didn't answer the question then no what if pierced within the nipple was an american flag lapel hello yeah have you had something so close to your heart that's how you get to uh to washington you play both sides yeah there you go there you go there you go the left and the right so if you're listening to this governor slash emperor cuomo of the democratic soviet socialist police state of new york that's what you should do he's actually no longer the governor of this so he's probably got like six rings in those yeah this is from two years ago that that guy is off the it's employed it's safe to assume that he got kicked out of office then immediately went right to the piercing shack i was like i'm gonna need a lot of them today you

don't pass those on yeah you don't think he gave him to kathy the second he left like obviously probably got those like ear gauges that skaters get in his mouth i want to feel the wind oh that's gross oh boy i don't think kathy has this anyway so that's the answer to that okay so they can this next question was sent in by andy powers and i think it's a really good question it is is it cultural appropriation to name my son shankai shack if i'm not chinese i have a white american who admires shank oh um so if you're a white american who admires shankai shack i feel like you should go ahead and not worry about the entire question but uh also just do that shit king go for it it's your child in eighth grade we had to do a birthday buddy thing where we wrote uh

gave a presentation about someone who has the same birthday as us who's a celebrity and I was assigned Shay Guy Sheck so in 8th grade I had to give a presentation who's like Shay Guy Sheck's a cool guy who has the same birthday as me that's really weird putting him in a celebrity pod being like

here's Michael Jackson and here's Idi Amin what do you say? the real Shay Guy Sheck or this child that was named Shay Guy Sheck because that's not a great project to be like I'll write an essay about this young boy. Oh, wow.

Congratulations, Jeremy. Yeah, there's some great answers. One of them says, do as you wish, just make sure he learns Chinese history and culture. If your name is Chiang Kai-shek, people are going to have some expectations for you. You can't casually be named Chiang Kai-shek in white. No.

You got to maybe give them a backup name and then of a certain age be like, would you like to switch to Chiang Kai-shek? because this is a whole skill tree you're going to have to commit to. Just so you know, we originally wanted to name you Shanghai Shaq Jones.

That's how its first language is Mandarin. Yeah, you still have some middle name that's just like Michael. Chang Michael Shaq. It won't be as confirmed. Confirmation, it could be Shanghai Shaq. Yo, Yo Han says, no, no, no, no, no.

From a Chinese perspective, this is wrong on so many levels. this is we have to stop people from doing this every day um in chinese culture names are supposed to be unique and special it should harbor some kind of value passed from parent to child if you want to reuse an english name where this isn't some kind of uh culture sure go ahead but if you want a chinese name it's only suitable that you follow the cultural rules of the chinese to copy someone else's name may come off as an as insecure and disrespectful no one is like hey shanghai shek probably wasn't a cool dude to name your baby after um well you know what

damn i'm learning on quora.com though because he has to follow the cultural rules i also like this answer this from the same person if you are white i would assume that your child is white if your child is white please do not torment him by giving him a chinese birthday name a pet goldfish or something oh now we're tormenting my child just because i named him shanghai shek scott or whatever our last name is um then they say yeah like you should also the political ideals you do not want your child to be associated with and then it says lastly on the topic of cultural appropriation this would not really be because cultural appropriation applies that one benefits from another culture by taking advantage of that culture in this scenario

i see no way anyone could benefit from this situation it's a zero-sum game naming your Child, Shanghai Jack. Only play if you're ready to finish the game. One person says, I'm no expert on Chinese culture, but could I suggest the name Kai? Doesn't seem like the same thing. I think, yeah, Kai. All right, okay, so first day of first grade.

I'm answering my fucking question. First day of first grade, everybody's going around the room, be like, hey, I'm Kai. And do you know what that stands for? i have a whole follow-up thing that my dad taught me like attendance or like roll calls like is kai fine it's actually short for and i have a song the people are the people who like get political about it also are like are all united against this like one person's like look i'm extremely anti-communist but this guy was just too hard on

them that's a wonderful niche be in the middle of okay well i think we've settled the name question now but let's move on to the next one we got a lot of chorus here today we got a lot of good chorus okay this is the last one in our uh politics segment the quiz course uh what do you think about albanians andrew i i have an answer to this if you don't want to answer it i have um a friend who is friends i don't know how i have a friend who like randomly is friends with these two albanian guys who have like thick accents and um our last guest i hope you just listened to this i guess but our last guest chris we were at a party once this sounds like the music you'd fade them out anyway our friend chris went to this party and the two albanian guys are there

and chris got like blackout drunk and chris kept being like he thought they were doing a bit where they had like an eastern european accent and they got to an argument where he kept being like i get it you're european like stop doing it and they're just like we are from albania so i guess the main thing you think about albanians is they're lying it's like we get european i think like a more like foofy german man who's just like i ride bicycle to work oh my god i'm so taken sick of people showing off their Balkans accents at parties. We get it.

You're hot. I just love the idea of a blackout drunk man being like, fuck you. Stop doing the joke where you're Albanian. Yeah, so I think the main thing about them... Yeah, so you ask me what I think of Albanians, ask me again while I'm wasted.

If you're gonna be Albanian, that's okay. Just be honest about it. Hey, Albanians, I think you're all right. I'm saying this right into camera one right now and switch to camera one uh okay well we have an answer from lucy l who lives in eastern europe for five years uh i am chinese and i can say most asians do not know much about albanians just like they don't know much about us but in my mind i find albanians extremely good looking

for some reason and this is what we were saying that is all that's it facts okay so albanians He's taking nothing but wins this episode. All right, you got us this week. We'll be back for more Albania questions. Sorry, she answered this five years ago. This is her only answer ever on Quora. Okay, so she might have had time to change her opinion. Maybe.

If we can follow up and ask her, do you still like Albanians? Yeah, has your opinion changed on Albanian race science? Do you think they are also beautiful? um okay well this is uh let's get into the quoker enough politics for one day oh wait wait somebody feel time feel time we both go completely silent ah the quoker yes all right well sent it by scott o uh olinger this question is is godzilla gay by the way the quoker is our incel in manosphere questions and And that's why the Neruda song is playing.

And it's like the Joker, but it's the Quokka because it's a Quora. Wait, say all that again. I couldn't pick that up. It's a Quokka. Do you say Manosphere? Yeah. It's all of our incel and Manosphere questions. It's also kind of just our miscellaneous segment.

It's kind of a grab bag because incels are... So this is a question from all those gigatows out there. Yeah. Going their own way. Yeah. It's kind of the grab bag function of the show, but also sometimes really gets to the core of some truths I didn't know there was a culture war

being fought over Godzilla from the beloved character. From the globalist west. Godzilla woke? Is Godzilla woke now? That is not the question. It's is he gay? I remember back in the American Godzilla

was a lady. Godzilla 2000. No, not Godzilla 2000. Got like American Godzilla. Like she was a lady. It was a woman. Yeah. The Godzilla is a woman.

I for the longest time thought like OG Godzilla was a woman because they make it a woman in the American Godzilla. What year is this? It's like 1998 or something. I feel like if this came out in like 2016 around the Ghostbusters reboot,

it would have been a problem for people. Right, yeah. Godzilla's not a girl. Dude, I've like talked about this in, the thing I always think that about is you know those shirts like hip-hopped out Looney Tunes? Like Tasmanian, Tweety Bird was a gun.

Those would be such like a culture war thing right now if they came out. Tucker Carlson being like, they're trying to ruin Tweety Bird. Yeah, right. Tweed Bird, American, it's apple pie. Taz would never do that. He spins so fast, his pants are going to fly off.

It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, yeah, just for the wind resistance alone. It's not a good idea for Taz to wear pants. But back to Godzilla, can we focus, please? Sorry, is Godzilla gay, do you think? Yeah, I think he's gay as hell. I think Godzilla's asexual. I mean, he's gay for destroying buildings.

He's low-key gay for destroying buildings. If destroying buildings was the love of another man, sure. No, I don't mean that pejoratively. You saw us as hell for building Godzilla. He's sexually aroused by destruction. Some people agree with you. Yeah, in the classical sense, he is a great joy for a vampire. Godzilla does have a kid.

Yeah, he has a son of Godzilla. That is interesting. It's one of the first DVDs I ever watched. I love Godzilla's kid. Have you ever seen a picture of Godzilla's kid? No. He's called Minya. He's so stupid.

All right, hold on. How do I spell this? He's so stupid. First of all, I was like, who? I'm looking at Godzilla's son. Godzilla, you should have been more careful about who you're breeding with to create Minya because Minya has fallen far from the Godzilla dream.

Oh, this guy. I love that guy. He just looks like a little baby Godzilla. He's got really big eyes. No, he's way too cute to be Godzilla. Nuh-uh. I'm a Godzilla. So, yeah, but gay Godzillas could adopt Minya.

So, PD Tampai agrees with you. He says, maybe Godzilla never had a romantic relationship with anyone. Let me clear that up. Mothra. Let's set the record straight. Mothra was a close comrade. She was never an intimate partner.

Godzilla could really be anything. I think he's pansexual, personally. How would... I mean, Mothra's a bug, so... I mean, you would assume it's got to be a male and lady Godzilla. Mothra, also a single mother. There's a lot of families in the Godzilla frame. All these legacy characters that have had kids.

um let me read this answer from angry boy boi he says what that's true that's also a good question what made you think that godzilla has no reason to have any relationship with any male titan he doesn't even know what being gay is he doesn't know about that all he knows is he hasn't been wokefied by nickelodeon all he knows is if he meets a female member of his species maybe he could mate with it He knows that? How do you know he knows that? The woke mind virus is radiation from the nuclear bomb.

Yeah, he's like from the center of the earth or whatever. When did he learn that? Godzilla only has allies and some are male, but they haven't shown a slight of gay love to Godzilla. Seriously, what made you think this? This is deeply offended. This guy's so mad that someone thinks that Godzilla even knows about gay. Yeah, this is really blowing the mind of Godzilla heads

that somebody would even dare suggest. He doesn't know about it. Quora slash Godzilla. It's more just like shocked silence. The response is, you're a sick person. There is something funny also, like the way you said the URL,

because like the way that Quora works is just Quora.com slash the question. So this is literally just Quora.com slash is dash Godzilla dash gay. I can't believe that one was open. I spent $2,000 on that. And it redirects to my website. um someone someone says bruv how high are you to ask this question any decent fan of godzilla

knows he has only one love and that's mothra king and queen of monsters that would that would be a funny core a bit to like reply to every question like dude what are you are you stone when you wrote this he goes through all of the different monsters he says i don't see any male kaiju he would be shipped with kong uh anguirus and rodan are basically his brothers king caesar is one of his closest allies jet jaguar is a robot man does a sea serpent and we're talking about the titans of the monster verse behemoth methuselah and others barely know him they're following him because he's the alpha their king so i guess because what about if you like kind of expanded the universe you got gambara in there it's not part of the godzilla universe and i think that's

the thing is it's like going to school with your cousins it's like who am i gonna be who am i gonna ship myself with now but apparently because they're titans there is a real tension between him and mothra i was just counting before someone's also said godzilla has a relationship with mothra who is a girl and godzilla is a boy she's actually a big myself in the mind of somebody writing a fan fiction that's very sexy when two rivals get together i guess godzilla and mothra have the most friendly adversarial relationships yeah well they're often in a tag team together i find um yeah it's two rivals there's nothing better it's like an ash and gary finally tying the knot yeah no you're not wrong yeah if you if you search the tag mothzilla on

tumblr oh yeah we can't just disgusting stuff search an encore mothzilla mothzilla couple name all right that's brangelina but for if it's not Moth-Zilla. If there's nothing there, we will move on. Anything? We got Moth-Zilla? If you were to write your own MonsterVerse movie, what would it be about? I would make a movie where in the event of the King of Monsters, Godzilla and Mothra mate and lay two eggs and she dies.

Boom! Let's go. I just felt that in my spine. I summoned it from the core of us. So we've answered the question. Godzilla is straight. He's laying pipe in his mouth. There's never any question about it.

Would you guys believe me if I told you there is actually a drawing of Godzilla and Mothra kissing? You're going to have to go ahead and save the URL right now because I'm not going to be able to find this independently later. Go ahead and save that. Where's Godzilla's penis? There's no penis in this. You get full frontal of Godzilla at all times, and he straight up does not have one. Yeah, he's just like taking out one-story buildings with his dangling cock. But we all know where Mothra's vagina is.

Yeah, it's under the flaps. The answer's always under the flaps. Let's move on. Do you want to read one more? We're at like 55 minutes right now. I want to read, I'll do more. I'll do even more. From Scott Olinger, we have,

why drinking and drive don't mix specifically how it impacts parking? Okay, good question. So this does sound like it was written by someone while drinking and driving, which adds to the flavor of the text, but also it is specifically about parking. I assumed this was somebody messing with us

and that it was a listener, but it was asked two years ago. So they couldn't be messing with us. No. It's a genuine question. Why drinking and driving? Why drinking and drive don't mix? Specifically, how it impact parking?

I guess it would make parking harder. There's not really any great answers to this. You're going to get people parking incorrectly, and that will add up in a mass scale. Drinking and drive don't mix because of the uh inebriation to the frontal lobe you see and often it will mix your driving reflexes that you needed to stop on a dime when you're in the commercials there's always a family crossing the road and there's a guy with like a coors light and he's like oh i just stopped just

in time for this family but if i was more buzzed i would have run over a family and that would have been i don't know why but this is reminding that may have died did it die yeah it said uh just now it said it was too hot oh no and now we're back from the break in short i think you can drink and drive and that it doesn't affect parking hey kids if you're listening drink and drive this is making me remember do you guys remember when they were trying to make heineken zero like a real big thing not alcoholic heineken they're like commercials is the weirdest way i've ever seen something like advertiser they're the commercials where a guy getting pulled over for like drunk driving is just like amp can't arrest

me heineken zero which is like oh so they're like they're yeah they're like marketing to like the habitual alcoholics who need to like put down like six of these a day somebody who's like i can't stop drinking heineken in some form right yeah somebody who like treats it like smoking where they have to have it like intervals throughout the day it's the only thing that calms me down i'm making zero yeah it was also like guys at work not getting in trouble for like drinking at the office right i feel like situations i've never been in personally hey you know the five other times i've been reprimanded for drinking on the job well not not today i have a friend who doesn't drink um not because he like ever drank he just never he just never started

drinking oh i don't respect those people thank you and our other friend like to be nice when We were all hanging out one time, got him non-alcoholic beer. And our friend who doesn't drink is like, why would I want – I don't drink. I've never had beer. He has a great point. This is how you soft launch making him drink. What if it was this but full of a deadly poison? That's like a real – yeah, never drinking.

That's a Quora mindset. Big square. Yeah, he'll call himself sober. I'm sober. I got sober the right way, which is I was a real – I was a Heineken Zero user for a long time. which is a habitual drinker i have a bunch of opinions i formed when i was like 18 that i've just remained unchecked in my mind and andrew actually brought another one of these uh up one time on twitter where he's like are we still mad at ras now i was like yes they're fucking cops

i was like i am 30 years old like college dorm ras yeah they were always trying to kick me out i applied and then they did and i was rejected i tried to be when i was rejected yeah that's brutal did you fail the karate exam i don't know what i did i don't know if that's like the biggest compliment in the world baby baby right yeah i had a pretty cool i'll say it i had like a cool art not to like jeremy we can't let you be the ra you're gonna fuck all the kids not to make friends with the enemy i feel like this is like someone someone's like my dad was a landlord i remember what uh i had a pretty cool art i remember one night during like the year and half i spent in college like somebody like uh people were coming back drunk statute of limitations

cuz passed we were drunk we were drunk no we went out we said leave the heineken lights at home you guys were like why drink and drive don't mix specifically how it impaired back parking what he like somebody kicked a soccer ball in the hall and like ricocheted off the wall and broke a light fixture and by the ra just uh came out of his room looked at everything he was he just said figure it out and then he went back in his respect so he took a light fixture down from the floor below us and replaced it

that's a good RA though yeah right he taught us responsibility I'm the man I am today because of that RA if you're an RA though you're still complicit in the RA system you're part of the violence

that upholds dorm life yeah I'm gonna get a American flag with one stripe in it for what color would it be yeah yeah what's the ra color i want to say green for some reason that's forest rangers i thought is it really yeah they see the thing is they already took all the flag colors because enough people wanted them so bad so like firefighters cops forest right there's like emts have a red line you kidding me if there was like an lgb style acronym for like cops like forest rangers would be in the plus yeah yeah

it'd be in the uh questioning yeah i was gonna say i'm not sure if i have a police officer i guess like uh when you're hurt you're under arrest in a way so i don't yeah i don't think like being an officer is a thing that's like on a spectrum no i was a lifeguard as a kid which is kind of a pool cop yeah you goddamn pool cop although you save lives not me i was at a pool thank you for what you do i didn't realize i was talking to a guy who's been a fucking cop since birth he's trying out for every form of the badge addicted to the power this is being recorded for like a lawsuit jeremy is losing so much face right now you're waiting for me to say like the specific name of a drug no running that's my thing still to this day guys you're gonna trip i will i'll

do a citizen's arrest on you if you run near water. You like wearing a wire to a conversation to find out if they were running by a pool. Under my shirt, I have a whistle. Well, that's too bad. That was a terrible lifeguard. Let's do another four. Okay, we have two more.

This one is... I feel like there's no way to say if you're a terrible lifeguard other than like, oh yeah, child drowned on my rock. I lost a few kids. no i i got every year they would do like a um like an interview they'd tell you what you did wrong and every year they'd say i didn't yell at people enough that was my big my big complaint my boss would say every year yeah it was you went to like an actual pool with rules because my

friends were all lifeguards were just like delinquents around the pool all day mine was a county pool so it was like we it was like i don't know there were a lot of rules it wasn't like a private pool or anything it was a public pool yeah uh we had our we had a very very mean boss who would come from the county every like week or so and her name was amy rose which i thought was so funny as a kid like sonic's girl like sonic's girlfriend she probably didn't even know why it was she did not think it was funny i told her and she did not laugh you know this is like sonic's girlfriend with the big hammer and she'd be like you gotta stop people from running around well amy rose famously slower than sonic i feel like i'm in sonic adventure battle when i

visit your pool yeah yeah no light speed dashing why is this entire pool trying to escape from the city right now i hate that i activate whatever like we all have 50 things to say about lifeguard A.B. Rose puds. Yeah, like I just imagine like I'm on the video like this and then Sonic Hedgehog is mentioned and I'm like There's a boy dressed as Shadow with a gun at your pool. You seem to have done nothing about it.

I could tell a lot of dumb little lifeguard stories. Do you have like lifeguard PTSD now? I do, I do. Our other... Dude, do you just like have to like drink to like silence that? Like, oh, I used to be the spirit of winter and summer fun. I ruined the summer for so many young kids

I told so many kids They couldn't go off the diving board We had a very mean boss also Who was like the everyday boss Who was a middle school teacher He was there every day And I hated him so much And he was a middle school teacher

And he would always brag about fucking his wife Nice bro He'd come in I was like 16 So I was fucking my wife last night that's a genre of old guy that's the worst they try to like rope you he was like in his 30s or 40s

that's insane he said he hit the back wall of his wife to a child you don't want to do that his mom would go to the pool everyday and just swim around and she would tell on us if we were being bad

his mom? guys try to do that to me I guess the kind of face where older men like to walk up to me and be like, that's a hot piece of ass, right? Have you ever been on beautiful women images? Oh, man. Was he trying to get pregnant or something?

I think he just loved fucking his beautiful wife. Wow. The dream. I hated him so much. Maybe this was an undercover boss who was trying to get you to blow the whistle. And this is the worst thing he ever did. he quoted Venture Brothers to us all

the time, so now I can never watch that show. Oh, that's a bummer. Yeah. That's really tough. I'll never enjoy it. It's too bad this guy was living the perfect life and thus gotten in the way of that for you. Yeah, in his eyes, he was a cool teacher who hung out with teens and fucked his wife. Aside from, uh, okay,

this is aside from all this, this is a question I have now. Are undercover lifeguards a thing? Yeah, so. Oh my god! Not literally, but our boss, so the very The jig is up! The very mean boss, she would secretly come in to lifeguard us. That's wild. To, like, yell at us. Did she wear, like, a mustache or something?

Yeah, basically. I'm thinking, like, you just, like, walking up to a group of kids, like, ten years younger than you, just, like, wearing an inner tube, just like, anybody thinking of running down the pool? Hey, are you trying to go down the slide headfirst? Hey, why don't you go get one of our

ice cream cones without paying for it? Seems easy enough. You got quick hands. I bet you could do it. How about you do it? You get two, we split them. and then i'd arrest them yeah and then you put them under pool arrest which i guess is where you drown them in the pool you you pull out a you pull a pair of handcuffs out of your swim trunks the one thing i did that was the opposite were there handcuffs in your trunks or are you happy

to see me with your strange penis with your circular fetus um i was one time that we had a diving board at our pool and when there's a rule that you can't go off the diving board if you can't swim right because then you would drown and on one very hot day i just wanted to go in the water real bad and some kid went up the diving board and was like can i go in it can i jump if i can't swim and i was like yeah dude go for it yeah bro yeah well it's a good rule for but i got to jump in and rescue him and then you're like yeah kid this ain't nazi german every man should choose his death okay let's let's finish our quarries yeah sorry we did the long lifeguard i know you had a lot of memories to revisit here on new year's a large muscular man cut in front

of me today at the food truck line i spoke up and he said what are you gonna do about it i didn't say anything after what would you have done in my situation he come from me the ice cream wine yeah no the food truck line the food truck line a large muscular man and you say hello sir you cut in front of me and he says what are you gonna do about it this is like if george gestant's a crowdsource the trickster right out of you. This is pathetic. I quit my job today, but I want to go back.

What would I do? I'd kill him with a knife. I'd fucking kill him. So that's what it says. For cutting in front of me? You're going to die now. I'm going to jail on account of this food truck situation. From this, the picture I've gotten of Quar in the last

hour is it's either MMA fighters or Michael Cera. There's no in-between. So this guy is very interesting. The guy who answers it is Terry Terhune, and he is a former federal agent. Oh, so this guy's going to kill him. He's an FBI agent, retired.

I got the answer. I'm going to kill him. Two in the heart, one in the brain. Cuts and proteo. This has 18,000 upvotes. I'm going to take care of him like we did Martin Luther King. I mean, nobody. I mean, all of his answers went.

i mean nobody dot dot dot yeah that's the ticket nobody anyway uh that is weird how in all those uh in all of his uh all of his answers he says martin luther king i mean um so this is a former fbi agent he says that happened to me at a donut shop recently a big guy came into the store and acted like he was viewing donuts and then suddenly stepped in front of me i said excuse me and the guy said you're excused he was only pretending this is such cop behavior he made no physical and intimation of a donut purchase he was merely viewing the donuts uh he said uh you're excused the stakes could not be lower

i waited patiently until the big guy got to the counter i raised my hand and said loudly i was next the big guy said he was next then suddenly several customers spoke up and said i was next and the guy cut in front of me the clerk took my order ahead of the big guy i won that one without escalating the situation and by allowing the store employee to intervene true story i bet the clerks love this tactic oh yeah put me in charge of this dangerous man I am a former FBI agent and I need my donut now also it's fun to be like a tough guy

but like how do you stop someone cutting you on just be the biggest bitch imagine that is the answer though and then also the unspoken part of like also I had a gun on my holster visible to the entire shop now I feel like

the fun answer you want is you put the guy in like CQC or something where it's just like yeah you do like a jujitsu cause that's for smaller guys take down bigger guys doing like those long straight finger pokes to the sternum you'd like snap his neck like in metal gear solid one where you have to hit the square button like the way snake fights by the way is imaginary there is no way people fight like that snake solid snake solid snake friend of the show i bet no i bet he could use his martial arts to kill santa well i have bad news because this cardboard box is not just a cardboard box

oh my god the cardboard box just off the screen and then snake comes out is the end of that bit that we all love in in post i'm gonna edit in snake emerging from a box yeah thank you for doing that something i'm really good at doing that should take you about 20 minutes for the soundboard like a codec call noise like oh that's a good one i should write that down yeah you should you should do that when uh the person on the third mic isn't a total loser and it would just confused and upset it's a really high-pitched noise let's uh stop playing that yeah yeah that was like uh yeah that was like the go-to like i got a text noise for like guys i had that not the uh legend of zelda right though like oh yeah you could do a number of noises yeah you

could also do that you got noticed in belgium this was all these were all great noise for guys who wear shirts great noises when i was in middle school i had a ringback tone which is like a ring tone but you hear it when you call me i remember the ring back so i'm sure any of our gen z listeners do you not know this no so a ring back tone is like a ring tone but worse so you know how like if i call you your ring tone goes off a ring back tone would be like if i call you it says like while you're waiting for alex here's a ring tone that he wanted you to hear craziest that like they would have like a voice announcing that like all right so this guy's eyes for you you're gonna hear a song for like 15 seconds yeah i've run into this two or three times that

everyone bewildered and upset me and i was like i don't know what's happening i'm scared i got a cell phone in middle school i didn't know any of this music i just looked up what's a song that's got my name in it so my ringback time was jeremy by pearl jam the worst is like the worst was like being involved with comedy people everybody was just like oh my if i make the backstreet boys my ring that will be the funniest joke of all time the the editor for crack.com is going to call me here a contract on the spot yeah so that was mine jeremy's poker because you're having to change the lyrics slightly so it's like jeremy's phoning phoning yeah no there wasn't a service where you

could make your own ringback tone it was it was all of them you would have to like buy a song i paid like three dollars to have the song about a guy named jeremy who kills three dollars just like weird considering the time they probably could have like sold those for like 30 bucks yeah yeah yeah it could be a weird song because it's like a very sympathetic school shooter song yes it was something you could do when there was one instead of like

one every three days I remember when he Jeremy he uh he refers to picking on the boy as a quote harmless little fuck little fuck we at least a liar anyway hey it's Jeremy hi it's Jeremy

Because I was like, you know, 14. Would you like to play Metroid Prime? Okay. We got one more question. We got one more, Quora. Andrew, you've been such a special little deer. Don't fucking touch me. I was a federal agent for five years.

You just touched me. There's a federal plan that you just touched me. Andrew does CQC immediately after us making fun of it. Hey, no horseplay. This question. This is our final question. Would it be okay if a boy bought his mom a bikini? Okay.

So this is interesting because my friend... Is this a fetish role play thing? It should be. I mean, it probably is. It's probably a person who's pretending to be, you know, pretending this is a situation that's happening. There's a lot of incest role play on Quora. There's like all these categories that are like,

what would happen if a dad kissed a daughter? But I think the question is like, is it not incestuous to get your mom a bikini? This one, I think, is more innocent, potentially, but I don't know what the answer is. I don't think you should get your mom a bikini. Okay, here's how you cut out the weirdness. It's a few sizes too small,

so it's more of a you-should-lose-weight thing. What if it's a mean prank? Yeah, you passive-aggressively get your mom a Peloton. Let me get you your old size of bikini so that you're lost in a tornado of self-hate. Oh, I remember what I was going to say. My friend, comedian Max Ogle, was doing this thing last year where he was crocheting an X a bikini.

Okay. And I thought that was the strangest thing I've ever heard. Is that the right material? That's for the goddamn wet clothes commuted. That's for the goddamn wet clothes commuted. It seems very intimate, and it's also going to someone you're not romantically involved with anymore, and I just thought it was strange on like nine or ten levels.

But he did, and he was like, it was a great gift that everyone loved. So I guess if you have an intimate mother-boy relationship, go for it. Also, Max is an unreliable narrator here. He's sort of a fashionista. Yeah. Well, hey, you know what?

On that note, maybe it's a nice thing to do. There's nothing wrong with it. The TikTok voice is like popping in my head. It gets just like, I knitted by X up a cane. I love the ones that are like famous voices, but they don't sound like them, like the Rocket Raccoon one or whatever. There's a Rocket Raccoon TikTok voice?

The voice that's just like, Pav, you're going to the store. That's like supposed to be Rocket Raccoon. And then one of them is Scream. I only know the British one. And Scream, I guess he does talk. Oh, Scream, like the ghost face voice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, ew, fuck it.

Yeah, that's what it is. Pav, show me your baggy fit and then take it off. I told my mom to wear my clothes. Anyway, there's a lot of wholesome answers to this question. so i think we were uh mistaken to think that it was a fetish this is actually really important to do for your mother uh this is the first answer she's beautiful yeah so that's basically what this first guy is saying he says yes and make sure her forbidden fur is very noticeable oh oh no everyone says yes by the way all the answers okay well i'm sure there's other good

reasons one person says yes nothing wrong with that one person says it would be different but the mom should be impressed her son thought she would look good and wear a bikini ah see this is mom's answering the questions i feel like one person says yes yes that is actually perfectly fine and then my favorite answer the last one that would depend on their family values not mine parentheses yours okay this is just a guy who's like dangerously out of ideas yeah yeah i do not know what my mom likes right just get her like a framed drawing of her dog or something i don't What's a gift a mom likes? My mom's a hot piece of ass who's always by the pool,

and I don't know what to get her. Anyway, this is from the bikini sub-quora. You know what the thing is, though, is I don't think you would ever offend your mom doing this. It's just everyone else would think it's weird. I think your mom would be like, oh, that's funny. The bikini sub-quora is very odd, by the way. That's weird.

Questions like, could you wear a thong bikini on the beach? See, these aren't real questions. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. This is like beautiful women's images These are also a little too clinical To feel like a sex thing What are some tips for tanning

At the beach All of these people just need to figure out Websites that aren't Quora to jack off to Because there's a million of them That aren't in question form This is under the bikini Maybe it's the respectability of Quora That gives them the extra thing

The prestige This is under the bikini thing They're colonizing an innocent website with their filth it does feel like that yeah it's like yeah exhibition um this is this is on the bikini quora what is the best part of living in melbourne than cindy sydney and then there's a photo of someone being arrested bikinis are illegal that's not the best part thank you for coming to my quora anyway that's been quarators oh we should ask a question and that's been quarators andrew let's ask a question yeah and then i'll say the same thing but then ask you to do your plugs

cool what do you want to ask what's a good question what are we asking a question on quora yeah let's do a bikini one the segment at the beginning yeah so for next week we can answer it yeah okay well you probably don't want this to be master chief related because i think if we do a master chief but he's not fighting anyone then maybe that could be a new and exciting step for master chief see i don't want to do one that's just a combination of all the earlier questions because that feels like hack. Godzilla was my mom.

We're getting into third beats in an improv show. My mom was Shanghai Shaq. Could I name my mom Shanghai Shaq? No. Let's start with something that's just organically... First of all, we want hits. We want this to be a good quora.

We could do the question that someone emailed us. What's an active community? I feel it should be something where it's some kind of donut shop altercation okay or something that could only we can make up a story yeah like i was at the store and some guy punched me in the gut right and i said like hey excuse me and he said you're excused idiot what do i do i was at the planet fitness yeah there you go and a giant man picked that's great okay up and spin spun me around like a pizza they didn't set off the this is really good this is really good because now we can't cut that part now it has to be in

the podcast i was at planet who's at planet fitness and set off the lunk alarm and everyone made fun of me what do i do the lunk alarm what's the crazy has anyone ever set off the lunk alarm i have i know it goes off right what's your craziest lunk alarm story i think post lunk alarm stories okay well now that's also a this could get the lunk alarm fetishist going it does show me that several people have asked about the lunk alarm and no one has gotten an answer oh no well we'll have to tie it into an active community uh yeah has anybody gone to planet fitness in their wet clothes and set off the luck alarm oh my god should we do that we gotta interact with the wet clothes community should we do the wet clothes yeah yeah is there

a good like wet clothes question we could ask uh can you get kicked out of planet fitness for wearing wet clothes okay can you get kicked out of a local pool for wearing can you get kicked out okay a local pool is yeah there's need to tie it into the reel now has anyone ever kicked you out of the gym for being too sweaty okay yeah well they answered that on the swimming one though well we can tag them we gotta tag them i need to interact more with the pool folk the poolman um how do i find it like swimming yeah make sure you do the research uh well we'll get andrew's plugs in while uh jeremy does some of the nitty-gritty on this andrew thank you so much for coming on quarators the number one podcast where we ask what is quora where can our listeners

find you at home and abroad at andrew underscore durso on uh instagram and twitter really well i think that you should do that and you should come see one of andrew's wonderful shows that he's on performing his live jokes and uh yeah we got the question in there yeah it's in there fucking we pitched so many things. I actually don't know what the question you typed in is. I typed in is Master Chief gay? Tag. Swimming in clothes.

No, I did the has anyone ever kicked you out of the gym for being too sweaty? Alright, cool. I look forward to our answers on that. I think that's innocuous enough it might fool some people. This isn't for some kind of ironic podcast. And if you do want to answer it as an

ironic podcast listener, please put in scrambled eggs scrambled eggs is your code word please that's how we will identify you like animals that have been marked in the wild very encouraging and as we say every week here on core raiders core on i've never said that