Quorators - Body Thrills w/ Steven Castillo

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

we are doing another live show in Brooklyn on June 22nd. it's our probably our last one for a while due to Clare moving to Los Angeles. it will be at the world famous Union Hall. come wish Clare well on her journey west https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quorators-live-tickets-1301400356499 --- Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Can I get fired if I put laxatives in my lunch and an employee steals my lunch (as he has been doing for over a month) and gets the runs from eating my lunch? My employer fired me because of my smell. All of my managers told me I'm an exceptional worker. Why does odor matter so much? My masseuse stays in the room while I get dressed. Does this mean anything? --- Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

We're coming to you live from Jeremy's house to announce the exciting new Quarators live show June 22nd at Union Hall in Park Slope. It's got all the biggest names like Jeremy and Claire. You have to be there to believe it. That's 5 p.m on a Sunday right after church plus some time you can see Quarators and I'll question you there. Be like, oh shit, what do you do during sex shit? Yeah, what do you do during sex shit? I made a girl cry one time. Really?

I cried one time. Oh, you did? Was it Claire? No, it was not me. It wasn't Claire. I want to hear both these stories. But it was because after the fourth time, because I couldn't finish and stuff, I was too nervous. And I finally did, and I did a little joke.

Oh, really? I like the joke. When I finished I said And boom goes the dynamite And then she started crying It's just a joke to you Yeah it is It's funny

The dynamite blew up her confidence I don't know I was watching a lot of Family Guy Sure It is funny You were right it was funny Yeah she was wrong She was wrong

Yeah TV's good She's crying because she's wrong And Claire you cried for a reason? And it's not sad? No, it's always sad when you're crying. He's not always sad when you're crying. I was crying during Top Gun Maverick. That movie rocked.

Folks, we're doing Quarators. Quarators back. Another Monday. Women crying. Men, are they to blame? This show comes out on Mondays? Claire, you always know just what to say. It's Jeremy and Claire and Alex every week.

Every week we're on Quora.com, America's premier website, reading the things that make you laugh. And we've got a great guest for you today, all the way from Ha Ha Town. That's right, New York City. you've seen him online as Jesus Christ God's only son on twitter.com it's Stephen Castillo

oh man hey Jeremy you remember the good old days of twitter yeah we were killing it I do remember those it was nice over there there were all the likes no one said weird racist things to me all the time right

only sometimes only when you really deserved it I don't really care about getting yelled at on Twitter. It doesn't bother me at all, but it is funny that a day, like Elon bought the website and immediately anything I posted was like, come should be called go. And then people would be like, six million wasn't enough.

And I'd be like, where did this come from? They should have gone to a higher number, Jeremy. Yeah, well, damn. It was like the good old days where you could do a Seinfeld bit dating a 17-year-old and blow up.

Yeah remember Ripping my pants off Barstool sharing it I was gonna say I remember when a shrimp Fried these rice Yeah Remember Bean Dad

Bean Dad What He beat up his His little kid right No He Yeah he hit her He hit her so hard

Right I remember getting that Oh then remember the Fucking The motherfucker That found the shrimp And the cinnamon toast crunch Yeah

and then he was ended up being like a bad guy yeah and he was fucking married to topanga yeah yeah i thought that was you i'm not talking we were having you on bro i would get canceled if i could marry topanga thank god it hasn't come to that that's what it is that's selling your soul to the devil um steven uh i am required to ask by law before we start the show have you been on quora do you know what it is and all that uh yeah i think i i think one time i i googled uh is the strip club from anora a real place and and i think that you do a quora of that same question yeah and then like an 80 year old retired police officer being like i shot a ghost once

and you don't find out at the end anora was such an inspiring film it really was a part of it The part where they had a great time at the beach. You can be a total bitch and get what you want. Yep. I love that shit. As long as you're hot enough to be a bitch. People didn't like the second half of that movie, but I kind of like,

you should have been like, I kind of like how it turned into like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. I liked the second half the most. Yeah, it was like, you should have been in the theater. People were fucking honking like geese, you know? What would be the moral to the first half of Adora?

Just be like, sometimes you find a Russian guy who vapes and busts quickly yeah it was fucking Gen Z Pretty Woman

yeah I like that movie he does so much Call of Duty you wish that was you that was the worst that was the worst video game

acting I've ever seen he's playing like Gears of War I don't know maybe that's how they do it in Russia or wherever

Russia yeah I guess what do I know I guess I'm the one being ignorant my interactions on Russian video game players has led me to believe they are all

having sex with the Nora. It's almost exactly like that. Anyway, this is the podcast where we go on Nora. Steven, you have a podcast. Is it real? I guess it kinda is, but it... What?

It's just the videos? But there are episodes of it. Yeah, I guess there are full episodes that we started putting out, but I was mainly just pulling pranks on friends. Did you record the whole thing or is this too much i don't want to pull back the curtain you were like asking women their body count you invented the hawk to a girl yeah i'm outside like you know the clubs and stuff

yeah i i try to plan like at least two or three little bits that they don't like know about sure and stuff yeah it's very funny and then when they didn't work i just turned them into like snl sketches i i could tell that punky didn't like it when i did it to her because she's the only person didn't collaborate with me on instagram i found that to be a good indicator actually yeah because i had like i had like i did a bit with her where i did like i had like a therapy call on zoom in the middle of our thing and then like her friend maria randazzo was like yeah so last time we spoke you said you wanted to kill a lot of people oh it's so believable yeah anyway i love i love hopefully at the end i'm excited for the post

podcast conversation you know what i mean where we all turn it off and be like the tea spills like oh man all right well so fun man that was yeah man that was really we're gonna clip that one thing someone should make a podcast of that of just the post podcast the post podcast thing and be like dude thanks for coming this was awesome we'll have you so much fun what were you talking about when you said that this feels like an episode of seinfeld if it came out now do you want podcast do you want coffee i don't want coffee but i really appreciate that you asked if i wanted it it's like really fucking real man do you ever have anybody overstayed they're welcome like and then you have to say like all right well we have somebody coming it would be

hard i'm sure we have we've had definitely people who have ran away ran away that's far more common what do you mean ran away well especially like when we first started the show we were getting like people we didn't know that well and then they'd come over and they'd be like hi and we'd be like yeah this is a guy who fucking kidnapped a woman dude i almost i almost ran away during one podcast because uh i was so young back then i wasn't watching the podcast before i was a guest so young and then and then i i show up and it was like okay so this podcast we're improvising ordering buying stuff at a grocery store and i was like oh i had to play a character on the spot i fucking hate improv that's really hard oh god yeah that's one of the worst things that can

happened to a person yeah and i like i said like two or three racist things i'm so nervous it's a good out it's crazy whenever i get nervous on a podcast i say like the worst thing yes yes it's really crazy it's probably as safe as to just redirect my stress towards latino people to see where that goes um yeah the only person i mean we we've said it many times in this part but we had david cross that it was very funny the whole time he kept being like all right well i'm gonna head out of here and we're like no yeah you stay one hour that's his energy for a shout related to what we were saying though his favorite thing he does on his show is he leaves the mics running and then has a conversation with people away from the mics which i think is very good and nobody fucking tell

him i said this but i think it's a very good concept but it is also i get too annoyed at being five feet away from a microphone to enjoy anything you're saying over there yeah it's very hard to hear because the microphone is far away. Let's go to Space of the Week. Space of the Week. I will. My headphones aren't working, by the way, which is driving me crazy. Space of the Week.

You can't talk that early, Alex, because the sound is very loud. I can't hear it all the way. I thought you said you weren't going to talk that much because you're tired. I am tired, but instead I'm just going to say things I regret. But I know what to fucking say about this topic right here.

I've been going on a TikTok deep dive on this shit. This is our Space of the Week. So Quora has spaces like Reddit has subreddits, and it's the closest thing to a community they could get, but it's still in question for most of the time. And this week's space is escorting the dead. Now, I was under the assumption that only the Grand Ferryman could escort the dead,

across the River Styx, that is. but this has 17.7 thousand followers which is a mid-sized chorus bass pretty impressive steven you've found videos of these on tiktok you're saying you want me to cook yeah all right yeah here's the pot he said he wouldn't cook by the way when you talk i it does feel like i'm like i'm watching like mp listening to npr like you have like a perfect voice i know jack said the same thing i'm so unemployed it's crazy this thing has commercials right so you get paid for this shit we do we get up to a hundred dollars a month sometimes let's go that was my that was my uber on the way over here

which we will be reimbursing all right let's go uh i appreciate it all right you want to i'm going to give you what i think what happens all right so i'm watching a lot of tiktok of near-death experiences right yeah and and i am convinced and i also i had this realization when i took mushrooms at a bachelor party uh is that um we are a collection of all of our ancestors souls and when and we come to this realization when we die and you could stay here as a ghost for a little bit say your goodbyes and then you go up in space and they they do like a report card of life like here's what like defending your life like like basically like you know i don't know if you ever played like grand theft auto but it tells you like how many people you kill yeah right

you know the saint peter portion of grand theft auto where he reviews your works yes so i it's like a big review of all of so anyway they'll do a review of your life and then you get to choose you could stay in this heaven space with all those ancestors or you could start over and do it New Game Plus. Yeah, so when I was on Shrooms, I said to my friend, like, I am my grandfather. Cool.

Yeah, so I'm all pro reincarnation, ghost things, it's a little real. Did your grandpa die before you were born? Yeah, yeah, like in the 60s. I see, I see. So it all timeline, it all fucking tracks and shit. Was that in a ceremony of some kind

to maybe make you become born? Well, he chose to become Steven. I'm just wondering if there's some kind of soul bond. Have you ever seen those videos of those kids, the past lives kids? You ever see that? No, I have not. You ever see past lives kids?

The little kids who are like, before they can really talk, they're telling their parents, like, I'm so glad I chose to be your child. Whoa. Or like three-year-olds being like, where's my wife? Yes, I have heard of that. Yeah, bro. I flew the plane today. The Carthaginians are coming for my retinue.

You got a really bad one who is like a slave owner or something. They're running away, Teddy. Oh, fuck. My plantation is ruined. Why does my baby dance like Michael Jackson? That's a best case evil baby, I think. You have a very talented evil soul in your baby. I think they kept Michael Jackson out of the babies

Yeah His report card God said you're not allowed You're not allowed to go into a baby You could be an animal for now But you can't be a baby Oh for sure If he didn't do it then he's definitely a bug

He a bug If he did do it he's a bug But if he didn't he could be a baby Yeah Insects do the craziest moves I think he did it i thought the book was closed on this one i gotta say it's not like 2009 anymore i will say millions of people online on quora disagree yeah yeah yeah with you on that specifically

on this website that we're at right now should we see what's in here yeah sorry no i like talking about baby asking where their wife is i don't i don't believe in reincarnation necessarily but i so in that sense i really love a baby who is not reincarnated being like where's my wife okay here's I don't know what is the human soul and can it die oh good question great question I like the ones that are short like this but need to be answered with 10,000 words what is the human soul this one answer is in all uh you know you know a lot of white women responded to this one. Dear Quora,

my orb is full. You think Dana Jensen's spiritual medium is white? That could be a... Instagram her ass. Any color under the rainbow, my man. I don't think any of these are going to be particularly interesting answers.

Eloise Keegan says... Look at this shit. You could never die because you were never born? Get the fuck out of here. Is your true self you never die? No, there has always been. And on the other hand, the human body is a vehicle for the soul to use, not on like a pair of overalls in order to experience the earthly dimension and the challenges of the dense three-dimensional world.

My body is overalls. She had a near-death experience in liver transplant. Let's click on her. Ouch. There she is. She knows about school of life. She's got a headshot. She does have a headshot.

I'm interviewing the body as a pair of overalls. I think that is a wonderful development. You get hit by a car and you're like, dirty the knee. Do you guys like this? You're like, your body is the overalls. Do you want to look at that? I love that, Claire. That's the show.

That's what the show is. I got to clip this, all right? Yeah. All right, if our body is overalls, where do they get me? Goodwill? Woo! I like it. Yeah!

I like my body. I like it. Feeling spree. Yes, let's go. Yeah, I can tell just clicking on the name here. This is going to be one of those sad accounts trademark. I have a rare bone disease, it says. Yeah, I don't know.

Do heavenly beings have intercourse? Yep, click it. We need a strong answer on that. That is from T.A. Sullivan, who is an award-winning author and intuitive. It says, depends on what type of intercourse you're referring to. What kind do you think, bitch? The definition of intercourse is communicating or dealings between individuals. Shut up.

I need a soul penis. I went to Catholic school, so I think about heaven a lot. And at first, I thought heaven was like a nightclub that had a bunch of arcade machines. And then I got to a point, like, I think heaven is just like a toilet, and you're taking in unlimited shit. I think that's probably what it feels like. Hell is the same one, but it's a bad shit. Yeah, yeah. That could be really bad.

It's like one of those snake ones that never ends. I like the snake ones. I like the snake ones, too. We have a lot in common Have you ever cried during sex? Where's your wife? I'm a baby, where's my wife? Hell is probably like a hot Cheetos shit

But it's like hell is like cool Because you get to do all the bad stuff Like the sex and the eating A lot of food stuff But then you have a hot shit No, you don't get to do shit Have you ever seen what dreams may come? Yeah

Yeah, yeah, you're like stuck in like You're stuck in a pain They pin you to the wall with their nasty forks. Yeah. I think this is hell, TBH. Being on a podcast? Just being. Yeah.

I feel like I'm in heaven. Oh, man. What does T.A. say? Thanks. It kind of shows how impartial our reality is. But anyway, T.A. Sullivan says they don't have sex, style sex, because they don't have physical bodies. But they probably have unspeakable horror mouths and shapes.

like a biblical angels are like horror that you die when you look at them like a ring with like 10 000 penises and i would i would love to lock those fuckers together i'm i'm gonna go on a hot take maybe i don't fucking know like english is my second language uh but when you're in heaven you're so happy you don't need sex we need sex here because we're fucking miserable right we need a fucking drug yeah yeah you don't know how many fucking first dates i go now you know how many i go now i guess i don't know so i would love to hear more about it no no no let's talk about like heaven and shit so you're trying to reach heaven in heaven it feels like you're always being milked thank you for diverting the attention no no no that's what alex worded

his Catholic school. They were very clear about that. I go on all these first dates and shit and be like, yeah, Colin Jost is so nice. Is that what you tell them? Is that what you say? Yeah. I think the number one person people ask about is Pete Davidson.

Really? Yeah. Not Lorne? Big L? Nah. You're not dating Jeremy? He's got to know all the Lorne secrets. I want to know about Pete.

I guess, yeah, I don't know. Is his dick really that big? Should we do one more of the death questions? Sure. This doesn't even match the theme for today, too. This is kind of a mixed bag. I think it matches. The theme is body thrills.

What is a body thrill if not dying? Oh, that's true. It is the ultimate thrill. Thank you. Long story short, I had a near-death experience. I was told I had to go back and let them know. Who know what? Stupid ass.

Tell them, let them know that the Nintendo Switch 2 coming out next week. That's from Pam Hootieshell. She's a great name. I'm not an audiologist. No info on hearing aids. Married 22 years and counting wife, mom, and grandma to four boys. Grandma to four boys. And a wife to four boys.

Rub it in. Why does Biden not support Israel now is one of her questions. so you have to go back and let them know and they really are giving that guy shit for writing that book jake tapper he wrote a book yeah he did write a book biden did or jake no jake tapper wrote a book is not in a condition to be writing i would love to read joe biden's new book yeah no edits or anything just freestyle up there this is a really this is a really good question If a civil war broke out in the U.S., do we still pay rent? I'm playing the long odds.

You almost said, do we still pee rent? Do we still pee rent? I pee rent. Using my built credit card, you can pee your rent. This woman died, and you want to expose her questions? She came back because she had to let us know. If we had a civil war, New York is so fucking cooked. I know no one's going to pay their rent.

I don't know. I think we're safe here. There's a comic book about this, and they fight over Manhattan. I watched Escape from New York for the first time recently. Oh, really? What'd you think? It was cool as hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What movie? Escape from New York. Oh, yeah. I like that the whole premise of it is just like, yeah, crime's so bad, we just put a wall around it. We put a big wall. I don't know. Good luck in there.

The fucking president got stuck in there, though. It's basically what the British did with Australia. That was their big plan. And imagine if they took the queen to Australia. Oh, my God. What a hot mess that might be. I don't even want to think about it. I pray every day that it didn't happen.

What's her name? Hooty Hoo? Hootie Shell. Pam Hootie Shell. She's a grandma to four boys. All right, let's read a bunch of questions. Yeah, we're done with her. She came back from the dead.

This is the Quark Place, our work-related question. Do we have a sound for this? God damn. I guess it's a gunshot. Is that too loud in your cans? You can't be playing that sound effect in New York City, right? Yeah, in a street like this? You never know.

This is the question. Can I get fired if I put laxatives in my lunch and an employee steals my lunch and has been doing so for over a month and gets a run from eating my lunch? Oh, boy. Here we go. To the victor go the spoils, my friend, because that lunch was a prized pill. You sound like a villain just now. I support it. I support the lunch poisoning.

Yeah, I think that's a fun prank. You can do to kill your co-worker. Sounds like a Stephen Castillo type prank. Yeah. Hey, speaking of this type of shit, I don't know why I'm talking like Norm. Oppenheimer tried to poison his professor. Oh, yeah.

And they fucking put in the apple. Imagine if he got caught. There would be no nuclear bomb. Yeah. Or the Germans would have got it first. the germans yeah germans would have gotten it first if they had caught oppenheimer you know i'll be living in nazi germany is that you're saying i'm not sure the timeline did work out that way but the fear was they were trying to cook it but now we know that they were over there

just looking through the bible for the nuclear bomb codes i don't think they would have done it did that happen in the movie in the movie the first scene is him poisoning the apple and then he's like just kidding professor i love you i would never poison you with an apple yeah science rules yeah i don't know it's very snow white of him anyway um i did this to to keenan a bunch of times that's what he gets for eating your lunch yes you guys get catering all the time i thought you know there's one small fridge everyone's always microwaving their weird food. One time I bought bacon at a Walgreens and I left it in the fridge

on 17 and I forgot to take it home and I just left it there so then people could just be like, who brought bacon here? It's like a biohazard. Well, accidents can really fuck people up, right? That's the issue. Accidents are no joke.

Your poop will come out. Poop will come out as normal. You could be one of the long twisty ones that feel so good. Apparently everyone loves those. Everyone loves a snake. I don't want to know it's like you're being unwound itself

yeah truly so funny that you said that and I said that too it's crazy you guys are really connected on this it's so wow

I was talking to somebody and it was like what drinks do you usually like to drink I like LaCroix oh my god and it was like

wow that's so crazy because I love LaCroix we can't both say LaCroix I love water dude wow it tastes so good I find it very refreshing You know they make a lychee soda now?

Really? That sounds really good. It's really good. LaCroix does? I don't know if it's LaCroix or it's some upstart third-party brand, and I pray that's not the case. But there is an answer from Debra Van Dorp. What about Denise Elliott? I like this Denise one.

It says, in the 1980s, I had a work colleague who thought it was okay to eat people's food left in our break room. One lady in particular got really fed up with this and decided on revenge. She baked some cupcakes and added laxative chocolate icing on top and left a do-not-touch note. as expected the perpetrator ignored the note and ate some of the cupcakes

having had severe diarrhea diahordia for a few days that was the last time he stole anyone's food and nobody got fired you gotta treat Denise she kind of spelled diarrhea like how Beavis and Butthead would say it

didn't we learn that like diahordia they spell diarrhea weird in like Australia I don't think it's like this though not like this what did Debra Von Dorp say Don't put laxatives in your lunch. That is considered adulterating with a dangerous substance. It's considered adulterating?

Let's see what she looks like. No, no. Go ahead and zoom. Show me your photo. Hide behind your dog, Debra Van Dorp. Your dog wearing a hat. With glowing eyes. Your Uncle Sam dog hat.

My dog want you to click on my... Debra Van Dorp. You've been Dorped. You've been Dorped. You've been Dorped. There's too many answers on this. I think everyone's saying you shouldn't do it. That was a pro-life poster, from what I could tell.

Clearly, justice does not work, some would say. That's Rendon Grief. We're missing some great names today. He says, labor with a U, so you know what that means, Alex. Yeah, I'm going to the button. Hit the button. Wait for it. No, wait, I'm on the wrong page.

I'm on the wrong page. Egglo spotted. That's labor with a U. That's a U. That's an egglo. I see you, English... Rendon Grief. I'm beginning to think Rendon Grief may be an Anglo.

You know he's cool because he got a baddie in his picture. He got a baddie in his picture. I guess he could be the girl. I don't know if Rendon is a boy's name or a girl's name. Rendon? Rendon. I think it's just Brendan without a B. Yeah, I think it's just Brendan without a B.

You'd be a lot cooler without the B. Drop the B. Slip the B off, get in the pool. Why do you sound like Tarantino on BET right now? I'm trying to talk Rendon into getting in my pool. I really like Rendon. I want him to like me. Wait, can I read one of these Rendon questions?

Yes. Could there be a medical reason why my legs are significantly colder than the rest of my body, even under three layers of bed? Oh, yeah, yeah, bro. You're definitely dying. Just the doctor being like, you have cold leg syndrome. You on your way out. Wait, I'm genuinely curious.

I need to read the answers because my feet and my hands are always so cold. Yeah, you were shot in the ass. That's a specific thing. My mom has that. It's like a circulation issue. All the blood has gone out of your ass.

Your extremities get colder faster for two main reasons. One. First, the ratio of exposure to mass is much greater. Two. Secondarily, the body is designed to keep your organs warmer longer

for survival. The organ warmer. That's from Casey Close in Gotham, Sahara. Get some gloves. What's your other question? Thanks, Rendon. I got Rendon.

Second workplace question What would an employer be likely to do If some man disgruntled employee That got fired went into the ladies room And took off all the toilet seats And threw them in the garbage Because they were annoyed at their co-workers Pottying a lot

I don't like the word potty there Now Steven when you wrote this question Was it right after it happened? I don't think there's anything an employer can do Because this is just justice This is street justice Pottying a lot I low key thought

For the longest time That all the girls Bathrooms had a couch Really We talked about this Recently We talked about this Last time

People think that Girls bathrooms Have couches And they don't They have couches They have flat screen TVs We just have We have toilet seats

That have piss all over them They got Xbox 360 And blood They will not get the new one You guys get the You guys got those Women lady part Vending machines in there

Sometimes Yeah You can buy a vagina interesting just in case you want one i want to go to this person's uh profile let me see if i can find it here connie mondoon so this is a twist this is from a lady we're on a fucking tear of good names today i gotta say connie mondoon so she has a lot of questions for what to do if you're you get fired and you're mad about it like how would bosses respond if a disgruntled employee while being fired insults them by openly telling them they hope they get cancer do you think this

is just like a person and you know this isn't to reflect anybody particular's lived experience but they are fired from every job they get and everywhere they go they are fired for a different now out you've been fired from every job you ever had right but it's not speaking to that it's speaking to the general phenomenon of do you feel like um do you have like a thirst for vengeance Yes, I do, and it flows through my very veins. He was born with the thirst. The feeling in my legs have gone cold because all the hate has risen to my fingers.

There's only one answer to this whole question that says probably call the police for vandalism. Oh, there's actually two. Imagine they would have a word with the employee about misuse of company property. Yeah, did you go ahead and take all the toilet seats out? You know, when I go to get my medicine for my head at the psychiatrist's office in Mount Sinai,

behavioral wing. In the Claire department. You have to go specifically there to get your medicine? Well, to get the prescription. Or I have to talk to the lady so I... Jesus, you're fucked up. You have to prove you're still crazy. I'm picturing like an Arkham Asylum

type thing. I go every three months, I talk to a woman for five minutes and she goes, alright, here's some more. So I go, but all the bathrooms, none of the bathrooms have toilet seats. They're like metal. prison style

toilet. Are people like killing themselves with toilet seats? That's how Jeffrey Epstein died. I think they're trying to smash

their heads or they're just trying to they were ripping them out enough. Oh yeah they're going

sicko mode on them. I see what you're saying. All these freaks were potting too much. There were too many people trying to

won't stop peeing. And I'll tell you nothing makes you feel crazier than peeing on a metal toilet seat without a

fucking toilet seat. I don't like that. That'd give me anxiety. I like to lift something. I just like having my medicine. You should just send her this podcast. She'll be like, yeah, you still need the meds.

My medicine is a good potty. I go potty a lot. Saying pottying is weird. I hear it and I do like a New York like, you guys like to potty? That's where my brain fills it in. Because I've never heard pottying as a verb like that.

Have any of you guys ever gone to your therapist and be like, this week's been rough. My last podcast only got like 58 views. What am I doing? Do you guys ever do that? Actually, I have to go to the millionaire therapist for people whose podcasts get so many views. They give even better drugs.

Now, I don't say this as a sign that it's good, but I have never been to a therapist. Oh, so you're one of those people. Jeremy actually has no problems. I don't think I have no problems. I think I'm just doing it poorly. I think you were born no help

you were born inside a machine I was born inside a machine serial experiments lane yeah there's like my parents grew like 50 of me in a vat so if I die

they can just suck a new one out and it'll be like nude and slimy they could give you a software update you immediately get some male pattern baldness it's crazy

you've never been to therapy based on the stories you've told about your mother and how she talks to you it's crazy well she kind of acts as his therapist yeah

I read a book you're not gonna believe this I wanna hear it I read a book, it's called The Art of Not Wanting to Be Liked, or some bullshit. How to Make Friends and Influence People. It's like the opposite of that. It's like how to

not want, and in this book, they basically like, they said that trauma is bullshit. Oh, facts. Trauma is, it's just an excuse for you to act like a baby. Wow. God damn. I was like, yo.

And I was like, then they just made me think. I think trauma's for real yeah we're in a war grow up skip the bullshit yeah stop thinking about the past stop freaking out at the grocery store oh no i heard a car back up and it reminded me of a bomb you're acting like a dog it's embarrassing it's really funny um well there's no answers on this well you could call the police for vandalism, or I just feel like there's nothing they could do because that was a

fucking pimp move. The best thing you could do is just laugh at him. You gotta laugh. You did some stupid shit. I think that this is a great way to get scouted by someone who works at Mount Sinai, and they go, we love the way you took off all the seats from those toilets in the women's restroom.

Then you finally get a good job. Yeah, we'd love for you to take your talents to our hospital. It's like sweeping the lobby, but for like an insane asylum. It shows initiative. Okay, here's another question. My employer fired me because of my smell. All my managers told me I'm an exceptional worker.

Why does odor matter so much? This is the new thing now. Being stinky? It's like we're allowed to smell however we want to smell. Anyone smelly at SNL? Thanks, Obama. The smelling people? I don't remember anybody smelling at SNL.

Was there a lot of sleep at SNL? Would you like to name them by name here on the podcast? Who you thought was smelly? Who was smelly? People you thought were smelly and are fake. I cannot say. Do you have an answer, though? I don't need to hear it.

I genuinely don't remember. Is there someone in your head who you're like, yeah, they were smelly? If you feel unsafe, give Jeremy a wink. I won't say this because this is my friend, but a producer had to tell this person, you need to wear deodorant. This is very common. Oh. People should just be wearing deodorant to work anyway. It's a job where they don't let you go home often.

Yeah. People were sleeping in their offices. People sleep in their offices. Stinky It's also full of artsy types who love deodorant They love deodorant? Artsy types? Yeah, well I think of people who don't use deodorant They're usually like computer programmers

No, I think the opposite It's usually people who are like, I don't shower I'm European style You're thinking of a 60s hippie style No deodorant haver But I feel the trend has switched instead to computer job Click clack I don't know if I agree with that

I am nervous that I'm the smelly one Because I think COVID fucked up my sense of smell and i don't smell like shit sometimes i'm not getting it right now so you're actually getting yoked recently i saw what's it you're you're working out a lot ah yeah what was the biggest boulder you ever threw oh man i i'm throwing these like 25 medicine how many stone you're pushing it up a hill but you get sweaty you build you get are you I get brawling and get sweaty. I shower after.

Are you accusing me of something? No, I'm just making sure. Where is Claire going with this? I'm just making sure you're doing the right thing. I am. I fucking shower. I have fucking body wash and shit. What do you bench?

What? What do you bench? What do I bench? What are you benching? Don't answer that. As your lawyer, I encourage you not to answer it. What do you bench? Do you stink?

Stop laughing like you're fucking Bart Simpson. That is a very Bart Simpson. I'm your guest. Respect me. We're going to make Claire ride on a chalkboard after this. I fucking work out like a... Like a mug.

Like a dog? Like a mug. Yeah, I'm trying to work out. Oh, Alex is going to get me ripped. Yeah, that's true. I got certified as a personal trainer over the spring just to transform Claire

into a killing machine. Jacked by July. We're going to start next week. I want to make Claire a scary to be around. I got to fix my tennis elbow first and then we'll really do it. Otherwise, I cannot work with that.

I have a stinky, a couple of stinky friends. Some of them know they're stinky. Some of them don't. Interesting. But I can't, you can't really. You can't fire them. You can't fire them.

Because they're exceptional workers. Because they are. Well, they stink like a workhorse. I think you're allowed to tell them a couple times. Give them a warning. I'm sorry, did I miss something? No, I just didn't respond

to Alex's joke. and he put his microphone in my face. And he got mad. I want you to answer what I said. My breath smells really bad in the morning and Nick always has to tell me that it smells like shit. You guys got to change the way you talk to each other.

It smells like shit. I fucking hate you. Man, my mom roasted me today on the family group chat. Oh, wow. Because I posted like, I thought I had like a funny joke or whatever. and usually i'm getting like all caps ha ha ha ha cry laughing my mom responded with hmm sure

she did not like that what did you say oh what was the show uh something somebody said like maybe you could blame that on a.i.r and then i said uh it's spanish a.i. uh a.i.i. no it's It writes itself. It writes itself. It sucks actually. I mean, this is what the industry is, you know? It's just, it makes, it's, that's fire. You guys mind if I like punch a wall real quick?

That's usually what we do when we stop recording. We're going to turn into it. So we all hit the wall. I feel like we, no, we have answered a question very similar to this before. And I think people have, like, this is like a common thing now is everyone's very poorly socialized

and like is being told they smell and they can't handle it. We used to get really smelly when we did our podcast at Cracked. Well, they put us in a closet. And they put us in a small closet and it was really hot.

We'd all sweat and it would smell bad. The light was really bright. And you like this setup better? No. It is Jeremy's house. It's his house. We liked having a podcast office.

An easy commute. That was pretty cool. I like that I had... You know how people say like, oh, people these days they don't have like a third location. They just have home and work. And I'm working out of my home.

I don't even have a second location. What were the third locations? for people in the past. Bar. Church. Oh, I'm doing that. Yeah, it was like Cheers. Oh, yeah, church.

We should do a Cheers-style podcast. Open mic. I don't know. Yeah, everyone should start going to church again. Open mic is my church. That's where I express myself. Has anyone done like a nice kill Tony?

Yeah, I do. You know, I don't know. I actually think they have. Yeah. Somebody has. What about a boast battle? Maybe that. Where afterwards they just

give you compliments? Be like, yeah, just keep going for it. But it's as offensive. So people go up Yeah, it's fucking like a disabled girl. And then afterwards, they're doing really great. We love you and you're an artist.

What you're saying about disabled girls is true, but it's just not landing for me right now. Hey, you know, you know, when you bomb when like a really nice person, you know, it's just like, oh, man, that was so much fun. That's a great one, brother. OK, here's another question. if it loads. Quora? Quora? Quora? My boy was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness and has since been sluggish

at work. This isn't really the work episode. We should have called this the work episode. No, it's body thrills. Anyway, how do I let her go nicely without it costing me? You got this, Quora. Is that Jeff Bridges? Yeah, it sure is. He's a friend of the show.

There's a character named Quora in the new Tron movie. New being 2010 or whatever. in the 30 year old John movie man I can't wait to pop an edible for that bitch

they're making another one my employee was recently diagnosed with terminal illness and has since been sluggish at work how do I let her

go nicely without it costing me I think it's like one of those things where like if you're like a manager be like

alright we just need everybody to step it up regardless if you have cancer or not do the best you can like whether it's like you drank a lot

or you know your kids or you have cancer. If you can't be 100% here, you know. I'm pretty sure you can't get cancer in your hands that you need to type. You just blame your client. You say, like, our client hates cancer people.

I'm so sorry. The one thing we can't have is cancer in your back when you need to carry this team. Wow. I'm going to knock on wood because we've been making fun of a lot of shit. I thought I had cancer two days ago. Really?

Turns out it was just allergies. I think I have cancer now. What kind of cancer do you have, Claire? Poo-poo. People are getting cancer. Younger and younger. I'm from Long Island, which is like cancer central. Three people under 40 who had strokes.

Oh, really? Why did she say poo and then everyone understood? I didn't understand what that was. I just assumed Claire didn't know what to say. I just didn't know what to say. I wanted to move on. I don't like improv. Don't you have an improv show, Claire?

Don't you host an improv show? Yeah, and I'm always bad at it. That's a challenge. I always have a mental breakdown. Claire's always pushing herself, unlike this dying guy at work. No, we're not making fun of the dying guy. We're making fun of this person who's about to fire their ass. I'm not making fun of anyone.

I'm trying to solve the problem. I think the answer is you kill them. You have them die faster. Do you think Kill Tony would be different if all the people who did the open mic had cancer? If it was a Make-A-Wish open mic? Can I just say, it would be different. Straight up, that's going to happen someday. Someone for Make-A-Wish is going to be like,

I want to be roasted. I want to see the ending of Carrie, but happening in Killtone. Oh my God. This is a comedian who they're all making fun of on the show. He's like a woke comedian, Austin comedian, who they pour blood on at Killtone.

And then they get made fun of by a guy dressed as Joe Biden or whatever. It's blood like your period. They're mean about it when they do it. Yeah. If only I worked at Saturday Night Live still. Oh, yeah. You think they would run that sketch?

The Kill Tony parody? Do they do parodies of Kill Tony? You know you'd be getting a, hey, Clarissa, we had to pull it. We had too many Kill Tony ideas. I tried to do a Carrie spoof with Sarah when I was there, and someone was like, I think Lauren was like, who even knows about this movie anymore?

Carrie? This movie's too old. I'm like, this is an icon. Sarah doesn't like blood. Meanwhile, they have some fucking sound of music sketch on. She. She. Lauren told you an idea was too old?

Yeah, like, oh, this is a movie from the 70s. The Dinosaur Man? Yeah. Said no one knows what you're talking about? I'm the mama. I don't think Sarah likes blood. Not the mama. I think that's the issue with that.

Lauren knows how to send GIFs and text messages. Is that true? Yes. Wow. Better than me. No, he's with it. Couldn't be me. That's pretty cool.

He's really hot. I guess you shouldn't fire you. Lauren's really hot right now. Yeah, we should put him on your teenage college, whatever the fuck. Oh, he's like a purple window. I don't like improv either. He's joining a college improv group.

I'm like this close to doing my Eddie Murphy impression. I think the new rule for the show is if you're uncomfortable doing the improv, you don't have to do it. No, this is a yes and podcast. Just say yes, that would be interesting. You're watching an improv show, and someone says something,

and the other guy's like, nah, I'm out. I can't do it. Sorry, I got nothing. I don't actually work at this job. This doesn't make sense to me. I'll just have you guys know, I treat these appearances like stand-up sets. Oh, nice.

You write all your jokes? I think of things beforehand. I got to be better than Ben Singer. We send you all the questions beforehand, so you can go, that's crazy. I never heard of that. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, this reminds me of that time I met Kanye West.

Point at the other host and ask if they're on a date You guys felt good? Looks like she wants to be here Doesn't look like you want to be here Okay I'm reading another one of these questions Oh that was our last one Yeah we did a lot of work in a row Can we see the time on this

Just cause I gotta go potty Claire just go I can hold it You showed up midway through the other one. I know, but it's crazy that I'm really going potty too much. Right. That could be cancer. It's probably cancer.

I've heard it's poop. Or UTI. It's UTI. I'm a doctor. Alex, do you have a specific one of these you want to do? MD or romance? Do we want to do romance or medicine? I guess if it's body thrills, it should be medicine, right?

Medicine it is. I'll say this. Romance might give us some very awkward answers. Okay. Let's do it. Hit the romance button. Steve wants to do it. I feel like that means we should.

Love. This is a rough answer. This one hits a little too close to home. Let's do the other. The question. The question is, my masseuse stays in the room while I get dressed. Does this mean anything?

Sure does. i mean what they're trying to learn what to massage they're trying to look at your lumps yeah they're taking a inventory of your body so they know where to touch oh i could fix that crazy on that oh yeah get my hands deep in that belly i'm gonna fucking fucking knee you right there slam my knee into it i've never gotten a professional massage either i've had no therapy not even physical wow wow well that would explain it because like if you get the massage you're really you know i'll say this people that brag too much about you gotta get a massage yeah it's like they're fucking perverts they're sex guys yeah right it's jerry seinfeld when i used to be

a i was a lifeguard as a kid and and um like as a teen or whatever and there was like always guys who were constantly offering to massage people and it felt like a creepy thing yeah oh you look really tight yeah we're all naked basically right let me touch your back that was definitely a sex thing that was for sure how old were these people i don't know other teenagers yeah yeah yeah yeah we had a comedian in chicago who like sucked and oh yeah and then he's like oh he's not coming to open mics anymore oh no he got canceled because he had a massage van whoa what a business yeah The guy did not look like a masseuse dude. But he did have a van.

But he had a van to give massages. Believe men with vans. Boy, you missed out. What happened? Steven knew a guy with a massage van. Locker room talk. LRT. Everyone here doesn't even know when the show comes out.

I know the bonus comes out on Thursdays. That's right. You guys got Patreon and that shit? Yeah, sure. We make people pay to hear this. I was going to ask if you wanted to do it, but I realized we did it before you got here. I wouldn't make any damn sense.

Whatever. I did not sleep because my baby's head got so hot. His baby had a fever. Of 103. Oh, my God. Which is like the Foreigner song. What song was that? Hot-Blooded.

Check it and see. Baby fever. She had a fever of 103. Alex had a baby recently. Wow, that's four months. Isn't that crazy? Four months strong. Are you excited when your baby's into the Avengers and shit?

Yeah, I'm lit for that. It's going to be the other way around. I think Alex is too much of like a sports ball nerd guy that your baby is going to grow up to be like Mrs. Athlete. I also think that will happen because- Shut up, Dad. It might be a tall girl too, right? She's going to be like 10 feet tall.

She's so fucking big. But the point is if your masseuse stays in the room, Ronald Noonan has an answer. Please. He says, I think that's letting you know that they are comfortable seeing you naked and if you want to be undraped during the massage. That's a different word. Undraped.

Yeah. They are fine with that. I almost mispronounced the fuck out of that word. I don't know about that one. All right, Ronald Doonan. I think that answers it. Do you mind if I pull a Claire because I have a little bladder? Go for it.

I'll do it real quick. Do it up. Pull a Claire is the new thing we're calling this, by the way. Having to piss? Stop. I like this one from Mark, who's a former athlete. Mine does all the time as well. She even helps me get dressed.

She's worried that when I get up off the table, I will get light-headed. She's seen me naked so many times, it does not bother me at all. Your masseuse is your mother now. Yeah, that's from Mark. She has become your creator. And I not called them a masseuse. The ones I see are massage therapists. Thanks, Mark.

Thank you, Mark, who is a former athlete M. Helping women to achieve sexual equality one orgasm after another. That's Mark. discovering the innate sensations that many women have yet to feel, the female body is truly a magnificent gift from God, and therefore she has the right to explore the hidden gems within and outside of her body. This is his biome, to be clear.

I feel that each and every girl becoming a woman should be given the gift of a yoni massage by a licensed professional therapist and show her first-hand PI what her body is capable of of stimulated properly. Is PI a private inspector? So this guy is basically like a professional pervert of some kind.

Well, he does yoni massages. Yeah. What is a yoni massage? It's like a pussy massage. Yeah. Yoni is... It's like a... You know what?

Have you heard about Yannick the Hedgehog? No, I have not. It's like a... I thought that would be right up your ass. Do you know about Yannick the Hedgehog? No, no. I heard Yogi Massage. Yogi.

Yoni Massage. Yogi Massage is that bear. Hey, boo-boo. I came to say that I'm going to go piss again Sorry we're reading this profile From a guy whose job is to help women Achieve sexual equality one orgasm after another

I don't know if you were in the middle Pulling a Claire there He's going to show her first hand Yannick isn't a real thing is it Yes it is It's the classical Latin Pussy language I'm looking it up

Yeah, I believe yoni massage. It's phallic and yonic. But the sonic joke, just to be clear, there's no hedgehog I don't know about. No, there is, and it's a funny reference. Type it in. Type in yonic the hedgehog. See where that gets you. Yonic, in the shape of a vulva or a vagina in the shape of a yoni.

Look at all the funny tumblers you could be clicking on. Is this the one you're talking about, Alex? No, don't go on Google. You got to go on DeviantArt. Yeah. That's where it sent us. This is on Newgrounds. This one's on DeviantArt.

Do you remember Newgrounds? There was one of those video games where it was like brick breaker games. Yeah. And the point was it was like a naked girl. They said they had Britney Spears in there. They didn't. A naked girl picture in the background. You would play.

You had to break the brick to get there. To get the nipples and stuff. It was so hot. The game would be called Naked Britney Spears Game. And you'd click it. It would be brick breaker and then a different lady. And you'd be like, what am I doing? Yes.

Claire, what do you think of this? That's you if you were a hedgehog. That's Claire the Hedgehog. Yeah, that would be me if I was a hedgehog, don't you think? For the audio listener, she has kind of like an emo bang situation. But then she got like mouse ears. This one's Master Chief. Oh, that one's Claire.

Did you type in Claire the Hedgehog? I sure did. Why'd you type in Claire the Hedgehog? You're just causing trouble now. Why is that trouble? This is an audio podcast. You're showing me different hedgehogs because you didn't know about Yannick. You don't want to see Claire the Hedgehog on Fur Affinity?

you can show me one more clear the hedgehog and then I'm calling the cops wow that's the best one yet I wrote a sketch where I used like a lot of deviant art oh yes I've never seen this for Bill Burr and when I pitched it to him

he was like yeah that's great you mind like emailing me those pictures just so I can like come up with jokes for them and stuff that's awesome that's really funny Okay, here's another question.

I find my girlfriend very ugly because she is really ugly, but there is no alternative for me right now. That's why I don't break up. Should I dump her as soon as I find an alternative? Where can I find better candidates for dating? Try them all. What's up, Steven?

This triggered Steven for some reason. Remember when we were picking the questions and Steven was like, the romance ones are where we're going to pop off in here. This is why you should have given me these in advance. I should have emailed Steven some questions. I'm going to let you guys. Well, we got an answer from John Buller.

John, whose criteria for this is married to sociopathic whores. Oh, no, John. Now, I'd just like to click on his face real quick. It looks like something. Zoom it in, Hans. Zoom it in, Hans. Yep. Yep.

He's friends of benefits with the Red Queen. And he lives in Framingham. Framingham. That's where she sits. There's a mall there. He says, you are an example of what gives men a bad reputation. What an awful thing to say. I can't really think of anything.

Yeah, I agree. Go, John. The Red Queen would never be with a guy like you. Everyone's saying that he should dump her immediately. You're a son of a bitch. How dare you do this to your beautiful girlfriend? No, none of them are saying you should dump her immediately. Yeah?

Aren't they saying, they're saying you don't deserve her and she should dump you. Well, he should dump her so she, so he puts her out of her misery. Claire, if the tables were turned. Yeah. Because it's a lot of like,

I'm sure that's the same thing, right? I'm sure girls have like ugly boyfriends, right? No such thing. There's not one. All men are beautiful. All men are beautiful. All men are roses. But I don't think,

you're asking the wrong person about this. If you saw all my guys lined up, you'd think I was St. Teresa. You never cut some studs from the team? I think hot guys are ugly. Interesting. Wow, you're like the Joker. And you think other guys are hot? You're like a dream woman.

I know. Yeah, but I got to go potty all the time. Is this why you're getting the pills for your head? Yeah. They're trying to fix that. They show you a picture of Brad Pitt every time you're there. You say he's hot. Sorry, Alex.

I say he's hot, but he doesn't like that I poop snake style. And that's the most important thing to me. I think men, I think, find more worth, like social worth, social, what is that when you get like money? Currency. Capital. Capital in having a hot girlfriend. Okay.

More than women find social capital in having a hot boyfriend. Sure. I think maybe it's like. Man. You know what I mean? Yep. But it does change when women get older Because now that I'm in my 30s

I'm fucking killing it Because these ladies want a husband You want to be with somebody Who you can be around and not want to kill Are you around a lot of milfs, Steven? Oh, I would No, but I would accept the opportunity We do have an answer by the crazy Quarren

With the doge picture Crazy Quran? Crazy Quran. Yeah, it's the crazy Quran. This is a Bill Maher's account. I didn't read the answer. I was just excited about his name. But I won't ever say what you should do about this,

but I strongly suggest you to be honest with her, no matter if it hurts her a little bit, because if you really do something heartless and stupid like that, she would be heartbroken. So this is kind of an earnest take on this. Just say, I've lost my attraction. We lost the spark. But I also can't get a better looking girl yet

So don't leave yet But leave later I'm actually a CIA agent I was undercover And now I have to go back to work I actually have a family I'm like a gay guy CIA agent Yeah I'm also gay

We also haven't even Brought up the easiest thing to do What's that? Cheat Oh, yeah, sure. Check out Cheating. What the fuck? Check out Breaking Your Promises.

Or say you're a gay CIA agent. Right. Pick one of those. Have sex with one guy in front of him and say you're doing it for answers. Tony Soprano, he made cheating look cool. He did. That was the main part of that show.

He pulled crazy for what he looked like. Only one of those girls killed herself. That's true. Out of how many? That's right. And they had a beautiful relationship for that. That was my favorite one, I think. The Quora moderation team changed this, I guess.

Because he wanted to know, where can I find candidates for dating? And they made it say girls. What kind of edit is that? I don't know. Candidates for dating? I think originally it was girls, and they changed it to candidates for dating. Oh, okay. Was that Helena Bonham Carter?

That was Helena Bonham Carter. Yeah, she was reacting to it. She was blinking slowly. I think actually Lauren sent that one. I thought she did when she heard the question. are we ready for our ask a quora question yeah let's just do we have one yeah we sure do all right um every week we like to turn to the listeners to ask their own quora on the podcast for our famous segment is that okay it's the wrong one is that okay take it back

i can't fucking deal with these people why are you scrolling so much i was trying to see if i could find the question asker for that one but i think it will be impossible you know i stole the computer on the Venom episode and I was just sitting next to Jeremy looking at me do it the whole time and now I want to do it again. Instead of doing that, can we just read the script for George Bush movie? We can't.

It's in development. And yeah, that movie I was supposed to play George Bush. It was a script that we tried to make for Claire where she realizes that she has George W. Bush disease and then she has to that she slowly becomes George Bush and she calls him to work and she's like, I can't

come into work today. I've been terrorized. And Claire was like, I am not doing that. And we're like, that's fair. I said Nick would do it. She said Nick would do it. And that was going to be like Claire and Nick, or like she's Nick when she becomes George, but there's a lot of... We'll do it eventually. We got a lot of great script ideas on my desktop. But anyway, we're going to

go ahead and do the question. Hi, Quarators. I was at a gas station once and a guy who told me he was an Arab prince said he needed some gas. Me being an idiot, I I gave him some, but he gave me his gold chain in return. Is that thing cursed or should I sell it?

Thanks. Great question. Sometimes a gold chain is just a gold chain. That's crazy. Man, if you think it's cursed, that sounds racial to me. Yeah, for real. What the fuck? So the free gold chain I gave you.

The prince gives you it and you think it's cursed? Yeah, and you're like Indiana Jones, I guess. What the fuck? It's Orientalism and it's wrong. Do you think he'd be cursed if he fucking looked like Glenn Powell? No. I'm Dick Cheney, and I want you to have my gold chain. What the fuck?

I killed so many people, but I want you to have it. Anyway, you should wear it. You should wear it. Maybe it's enchanted. I have a friend who recently started wearing gold chain, and it has actually changed my whole opinion of how fresh he is to more fresh and really cool. It's Ben Wasserman.

Ben Wasserman wears a gold chain? He's got a really cool Cuban link style chain. Thoughts on this, Steven? I feel like this is a little... Those tiny little glasses? He wears it with the little glasses. I guess that's a good combo. It's mind-blowing.

What if I wore a chain? What do you think? It would be cool. That's what I'm saying. I'm surprised that you don't have one already. If you encourage the cowardly dog t-shirt, it would match properly. That's very interesting. That's very interesting.

Because the pink of courage would make the gold compliments. I don't think you should buy one. I think you should give someone gas. and then receive it like a token in a video game. She gave an ethnic person. Oh, I can't smell. I'm willing to give you credit here and assume. Thank you.

Somebody who fucking likes comedy. Claire, you're right to laugh at it. I'm willing to give you credit here and assume that you think it's cursed because he's trying to get rid of it and not do all the Arab prince stereotypes. And in that case, I think you just have to wait until something bad happens.

Is that a stereotype of an Arab prince? It feels like Orientalism. That they're trying to trick you? Nigerian prince is a thing, right? Nigerian prince is like an email scam. That's for grandmas. That's for grandmas and for, I guess, people who would want to help monarchy. People try to trick my grandma a lot by calling her.

There's a trick. Apparently, people will call you. They say, hey, it's your grandson. My grandma's really fucking mean. That happened to my grandma, too. My grandma apparently answered the phone and said, I don't have a grandson. That's so funny.

She told you this? She told my mom this. That's so funny. Oh, man. Imagine, that's like Boy Who Cried Wolf and you're like in Guantanamo Bay. I have no grandson. One way out is through my grandma.

Did they get your grandma, Steven? Yeah, then she called me. baby where are you okay yeah oh yeah i forgot you're from that area where they talk like that what area kentucky are you all right are you from texas where are you from oklahoma oklahoma that's right next to it um it's like his hat yeah yeah it's like a ride it's his hat are you from you're you're not from norman are you uh no who's from norman that we know he was doing norm voice Yeah, you were thinking of Norm.

There was a, wasn't it Marsha Belsky? Yeah, Marsha went to my rival Catholic high school, who, by the way, fun fact, one of the people that was on the board of that school was the new pope. Whoa. New pope. You never know when your principal will become a pope.

Well, that's all from us here at Quarators. If you have a question, please write us in, quarators at gmail.com. We want to hear your Quora questions. send us a little voicemail under 30 seconds we love hearing those and let us close out here

Stephen thank you so much for coming on it's been a thrill was that okay? we're going to cut a lot of it Stephen I want to do the post-pop do you want any water? is it too late for water? I might pee again

I might pee again not now wouldn't make any sense yeah anyway I got fired at SNL because I punched the window cut that do you want me to cut it

we've had a thing with people saying cut that but not meaning it before no we should cut it I don't know should we keep it like it's like raw is that why no no no but yeah

I don't know you know just the industry is like rough right now I'm trying to like get some all of our listeners are producers keep the mic all of a sudden no one has anything to say

you know what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna bleep the whole sentence you guys aren't doing shit and you're putting all the pressure on me I'm training you stood up on stage just now you're like this is I want to do this, and now you're backing out. These guys hate improv.

You guys are not yes-anding me at all. I don't know how to do improv. It's plugs. I don't know what I'm yes-anding. I'm out of 5,000. All right. Where's leaving? What's your ex-name? Instagram name? Jesus Christ.

You're asking my ex? No. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? promote your social media like yo that really fucked me up cause it was like yeah cause she's like posting a bunch of stuff about you

or something I thought like apparently like you like threw stuff at her you punched a window that was like scared the fuck out of me that's more Elon's fault than Claire's really yeah he did call it that

He changed it to X. Man, I miss the good old days. I used to pop off a tweet. Used to get 100 likes in five minutes. Now I can't get 25 in a fucking day. And I know I'm still fucking funny. Is that dress blue and gold or white and whatever, you know? Why are you fucking taking a picture of me?

There's no recording. Let's see that pop off. Here's some shit. You know what fucking annoys me on social media is these fucking people that work at SNL be like, I love my SNL familia and shit like that. And then when the door closed, be like, everyone's sketches fucking sucked except for mine. Mine was funnier. Well, I will say when I see those posts, I'm like, damn, that was it was fun kind of working. It was fun working there.

And then I then I talked to somebody who works there and they're like, it's so. And Claire, you were one of the please don't destroy guys, right? Yeah. Yeah. You were the fourth boy. Yeah. You were the one who told them to destroy. I was the Pete Best of the police on this show.

Claire, are you Hispanic? No, I'm Filipino, but I'm basically Hispanic. We need an episode on this. The Spanish colonized my people. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then the U.S. took it over. Yeah.

We have another podcast every Thursday. Oh, all right. Patreon.com slash Quarriors. Please support the show. And we'll see you next Monday. and i'll tell you what the weather is probably great bye bye all right bye bye and then i don't press end and we keep going and we see what happens and it keeps going and it never ends and we all talk about about people and that's what it sounds like goodbye

Thank you.