Quorators - Boxing Day w/ Josh Boerman

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: You write a practical plan to defeat a group of 30 thugs single-handedly. Is that possible? Who would win in a fight, Jack Skellington or The Grinch? My ex wife has been dating my uncle and it appears that they may end up getting married. I somehow feel that she is doing this to get back at me somehow for cheating on her. Am I just paranoid? Should I say anything to her about this feeling? --- Check out Josh's work @ https://joshboerman.com/ Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

Does anybody else have any other little trips they'd like to take? That's it, homie. That's it. We're ready to start the show then. The bullier guest is always good. It's true. Well, my guests are always nerds. It's Corator.

I'll respect the song, and then I'll finish my riff. I was going to say that Alex treats our guests like it's prison and he wants to beat up the strongest ones to assert his dominance. And that's me. I come in. I bring a certain alpha male sensibility to the show. Yeah. And he has to prove that

he's a big, strong alpha himself. Which is why he tries to fight you all the time. The one who isn't the alpha will be made the sigma. Sure. And it's a dangerous dynamic for the podcast. You mean beta? No. You want to be the alpha? I mean, that's the alignment, right?

One of each. Alpha, beta, sigma. Alpha, beta, sigma. The one who isn't the alpha is made the sigma, you said. They're made the sigma if they don't accept beta. Is it sigma better?

That's right. Sigma exists outside of the alpha, beta continuum. They don't accept the paradigm. It's not sigma better. There's not better or worse. It's just different. The alpha is the best.

Yeah, well, alpha's the top. By its nature, it's the best. No, it's not the top. It's outside of the continuum. My mother said that it is. If we had to break ourselves up right now and designate one of us the alpha, the beta, sigma. Right, we're going alpha, Josh, alpha me.

Alpha, Alex. Alpha, Jeremy. Three alphas. That's what makes the podcast good. That was like on Cuck and Bull Psychology where we established pretty early on that this is a bull zone. Yeah, that's right.

For those listening, of course, when Josh, our lovely guest, Josh Borman, who we have not even introduced yet was on the podcast last time on our bonus episode we went to the Cuck Psychology subreddit and then we of course found the Bull Psychology subreddit which was mostly you know on the Cuck one

it was Cucks being like don't you guys hate it when Bulls are so annoying and then on the Bull one it was like oh my Cuck wants me to fuck his wife again and a lot of Cucks making their way into the Bull Psychology channel unprompted

unasked for. It's a sacred space. But it's typical cuck behavior to be where they aren't supposed to be. Like a bowl in a cuck shop. That's right. They're just breaking everyone's lives. Oh, that's a priceless wife.

I hope you're paying for that wife. Oh, she's ruined. Folks, this is the Quarrior's Podcast, the podcast by three alphas every week. That's right. You turn it on, it feels like you've wandered into the gorilla cage at the zoo.

Is Claire also an alpha? Claire is at least an alpha, if not even higher. Alpha plus? If there's one thing higher than alpha, I believe it is Sigma. Well, that's not for us to say here today. You know what I could do, actually, is Google it on the internet. No, I don't want you to Google it. Or I could Quora it.

Because this is a very important episode, Jeremy, because we got ahead of ourselves. We were actually far in advance of our schedule before our live show in Philadelphia last week for our millions of adoring fans. Thank you for coming out to that. um we missed christmas we missed the christmas episode and all of the little boys and girls who listen to our show every week they sat at home and cried but i have good little news for those little boys and girls because this week what comes after christmas but boxing day today's theme is boxing day and we will be doing boxing day themed quaras which are all quaras based around fighting and boxing and

using your hands to beat someone to death. I'm on Quora and I'm looking at the question, who's better, alpha males or sigma males? And all the fucking answers here won't answer it. They're all just like they're like, this is not real. It's actually not a real thing. There's no such thing. There is

an answer from Shadow Silverhand. Shadow Silverhand says, I think it's better to be an Apex Giga Chat Senior Lord Mega Balls. Could you please upvote him? Upvote I mean do we have any decorum left can we just do things by the book here you upvote Shadow Silverhand for his

great comment oh I like this one by Ron Hollis well if you're in a wolf pack and your structure is misread by someone alpha of course if you're human with healthy relationships defined by mutual cooperation the labels do not apply

good point Ron that was very pedantic of you and also you are calling in from London I like this one i really like this answer both exist why compare yeah that's beautiful you know you know calise's got sigma mentality oh man if if you ever uh uh if your mom is at the store and she tells you that she has calise at home and it's calise marco you better insist double degrees philosophy double degrees for calise here she is certainly not the unburnt

queen yeah she's not notably not named after uh the game of thrones characters holy cow 12 000 answers oh yeah welcome to quora death mother of dragons anyway so it's kind of like fight question week uh all the questions are about fighting also merry christmas which you can say now because there's a war on it yeah i mean trump's again trump is president again now there's two Christmases. Yeah, what? Because of the war on Christmas, it was double one. You know what you're thinking of? You know what you're thinking of?

Venezuela. Oh. Oh, yeah, the war on Venezuela. We keep bombing Santa's sleigh. Venezuela, or as I like to call it, the... What do I like to call it? Santa's workshop.

I like to call it... I'm not editing this out. Fuck! I really was somewhere. I'm so close to recovering from this turbo cold that I had. But every so often, the train is just going to miss the station. And that's how it's going to be today, I'm afraid. Josh has been bedridden for at least two weeks.

That's right. Because he was so out of sperm from all of the bowling around he was doing. That's right. But now we've forced him to podcast. So he'll have to just deliver. You bowl too hard. And as a result of that, you end up, you know. You leave the pen.

Yeah. You're like a prize racehorse. And then you have to go back to the pen to recover for a while, you know? I don't think we need to make it more confusing that the bowl is a prize racehorse. This is really out of control. I know it's after Christmas to the listener, but it is extremely two days before Christmas. Alex explained to me before it started. He's like, it's Christmas, so I've been drinking a lot.

I was like, who are you drinking with? He's like, who am I drinking with? By myself, of course. It's Christmas week. What does that mean? It's December 22nd. I'm sitting in my cave all day. You're just at home drinking.

Going to restaurants and then going to bed. Okay. It's Christmas. It's poor haters. Hit the theme song. It's Boxing Day. Close enough. Close enough.

What's our Space of the Week? Oh, I'd love to find out. Space of the Week. it's advanced street survival okay um i'll just advance what survival we're on advanced street survival this is a space that we go on a lot it is often our space of the week it's probably the best space we've ever found it is how to learn learn how to be safe and prepared no matter where you are in any city or slum what makes it good is how active it is it's probably like the hub of quora.com i feel like most interaction on the website occurs here now they have changed the art

style on street survival since the last time we've gone they have a um infamous video game style avi of a guy with a no face and a big coat oh look at that i guess the implication is he's going to kill you he's a goon at bare minimum he's gonna like take your money you know he's a goon he's a gen x style goon not a gen z style that's right he's not jacking off no he's not he's to the best of our knowledge at least like a prize race bowl he's not crossing his eyes and his tongue is sticking out actually come on jeremy a prize race bull is going to be jacking off a prize race bull is going to be busting in right there will be a hundred beautiful bull women that's right and um you know due to industrial manufacturing they'll all be they'll all be nutted in that's

right what's going on on street survival is my question we're looking around so this is all fight-based questions we have questions like why did bruce lee make a special shout when striking which has no answers. That's a great question. What can I do to defend myself if my abuser is respected, well-known, and wealthy? That's just a real thing.

What's Kingpin's girlfriend's name? Vanessa. Vanessa. I don't know how I pulled that immediately. That's impressive. I knew you saw it like 15 years ago, it feels like. Was it Daredevil on Netflix, right?

Oh, yeah. Is it AMC? No, it was Netflix. It wasn't that long ago. Was it Charlie Cooper? No. Right? No.

The thing is, no one knows who he is. He's a masked man. No, Daredevil. It's not Charlie. And he's a Catholic. What is his name? Isn't that his name? Charlie something.

Charlie Kirk, is it? We're getting real. You just created a million Daredevils. That guy carried the flame. I'll tell you that for free. Every time someone killed Daredevil, they created a million Daredevils. I'm looking up who Daredevil was. It's not important.

Let me ask you a few questions. It's not important at all. What Daredevil's name is. Charlie Cox. Okay. Cox. I knew it started with C-O. I feel so good.

What can I do to defend myself and my abuser? Wait, why did you want to know Vanessa's name? You never even got to the end of that bit. Because she made that post about her abuser being well-respected. Oh. Yeah. It's Wilson Fisk. It's because it's Wilson Fisk.

And the answer is all you can do is stick the damn daredevil on him. Go to the third one down because somebody actually sent this one into us and I didn't put it in the doc. If ICE assaulted my girlfriend, an American citizen, and I defended myself by returning fire, hitting ICE in the leg, who do I call? The police? This feels like a riddle.

This is really good because if it's real, it's very much like, I have minutes. Quora, quickly. Who do I call? If it's real, it's cool as hell. Yeah. You know where you fire back at the police and blow their leg off and then immediately Quora about it? And if it is fictional in the unlikely scenario, they will prompt some very interesting debate.

So let's click on that. Yeah, we see there's six answers here. What do people think? Now, this is a space for patriots. Right. I should say. yes we have an answer from wikified oh i remember this guy yeah he's pretty cool yeah i guess all right so technically his name is wiki wiki kid but it's wikified let's be real

um so the he breaks down the question q if i assaulted my girlfriend in american and i defended myself returning hitting ice returning fire hitting ice in my leg what do i call and then he responded oh emoji which was slash oh yeah is that what that is yeah i think it's like i think it's i think when you see that it's like a guy raising up his arm being like whatever yeah i think it's a guy raising his hand to answer no yeah i think he's saying like oh call on me yeah yeah teacher i've i've i've got an answer to the question sensei i thought he might be dabbing you know if you look at it sideways and his head's down and his arm is up well i yeah if you look at anything sideways it will look different to an alpha like myself we see the

world kind of sideways and choose our own perspective. I think we're just drunk and falling over. I'm not drunk. It is 1243 p.m. It's Christmas, baby. I'm drunk and I'm kissing Jeremy. He's underneath the mistletoe. It's a

workplace issue. Also, Claire's not here. Claire's not here. She's making a movie with Ron Howard this afternoon. She's going to be in the next Santa Claus. Oh, wow. It's going to be her and Tim Allen. She's an elf. Come on, Santa.

That's your impression of Claire? Everyone do their Claire. Okay, ready? Da hell? I'm not doing that. Not going to do that. Mine is her saying da hell. Can I go to the bathroom?

That's my impression of Claire. The problem is I don't know her well enough. We've not met. This is the issue. I'm starting to think that you are Claire. Yeah. I could. I've never seen you in the same room before.

You're so beautiful. That's true. Oh, thanks. This is what Alex says to Claire every week. I do. For some reason, she doesn't want to be. here i have to kiss jeremy when i show up drunk at noon back to wickified's answer and what to do if you shoot ice he's kind of offended he says call

whoever you want it won't matter it also doesn't make any difference if your girlfriend is an american citizen or not like every actual american gun owner knows while law enforcement enjoys limited qualified immunity from both prosecution and civil action and assault or simple assault is not a forcible felony, but a misdemeanor. Therefore, you had no right to escalate to the use of potentially lethal force in the state against anyone. And you cannot claim self-defense

against law enforcement. I mean, he is right. I feel like if you shot a... I'm shooting a cop, famously, kind of a sticky wicket. Am I wrong? I don't know what... I'm not familiar with that phrase.

Sticky wicket. Yeah, it's like when you put your whole thumb in the porridge. I've heard of sticky wick-o... wicky-eyed. No, you haven't heard of that. No one's heard of that. We're all familiar with sticky wickets.

It's just a Pooh Bear style term. It's very, like, English, like... Oh, bother. Yes, exactly. It has a bit of a history. Oh, I feel I've found myself in a bit of a sticky wicket. Yes, exactly. You're using it correctly.

That's my Winnie the Pooh, essentially. But Jeremy pretends he doesn't know what a sticky wicket is. It makes me look like a fool. What did I do? You're gaslighting my wicket What if instead of wickified it was winified And it was about Winnie the Pooh That's pretty cool

That's a good suggestion Maybe we can put that in I'm gonna file it He ends the answer Enjoy decades in prison surrounded by other violent offenders And if you survive, which is highly doubtful Your permanent violent felony record And lack of 2A or voting rights

And the mediocre life that your ignorance alone earned In wickiack Wait, wait, wait. We should have established the emoji comes back. Oh, yeah, but it's different now. This is a different one. This is a pom-pom cheerleader emoji. Yay!

Are you face-blind for emojis? No, I'm not face-blind for emojis, because this one's not dabbing. This one's two hands up. With pom-poms. You just got wikified. You got wikified. Welcome to the wikified world.

I think you should downvote wikified here. Again, for those listening, there is no F in this man's name. wiki wiki wikified west it is all caps w-i-i-c-i-k-i-e-i-d i don't think he's helping answer the question and i think he's being a bit rude and i don't like how he's wikifying do you can i actually take a guess at what it actually is supposed to be yes i think it's wicked but he's putting like a little line between everything uh oh that is what it is you're a genius jeremy how did you get it's the word wicked with like pipes between each letter but each pipe is a

is an eye it almost looks like if you just take a few letters out like he's a wee kid part of the reason he's got a wee but like part of the reason that doesn't work of course is that there is also an actual eye in there for the word wicked yes wickify wickify i believe that is what it is i think it is wicked downvote him all right i'm downloading wicked relax wickified five west Strike him down. Wickified. Yes. Wickified.

He lives in Savannah, Georgia. Do you think that Will Smith ever went to the Wickified Wide West? I don't think he ever did. You know what? I'm going to say no. I don't think he did. He's in the one-man industry. Alex and I didn't take improv classes, so we don't know how to say yes to that.

Got it. Let me ask you this. Did you see the music video that Will Smith came out with this summer where he talks about how he likes pretty girls? No. Yeah, I did see that. It's horrible. uh it is like the most divorced song i've ever seen um and which by the way i pray will smith

can get a girlfriend after this i after after this fingers crossed not to mention how he got wickified isn't he dating clara kane i heard he's dating from the coroner's podcast and upcoming film santa claus eight santa claus eight will smith's girlfriend santa claus he's in the movie just peripherally just to check in on santa every now and then they're like oh seems like you're doing good okay we must we must move on from where the fuck this question is right i mean this is too much right this is the space of the week the police will already be on their way annie oakley you should call your lawyer that's what someone said that's what lewis lewis has a bs in accounting which parentheses college major college major not bullshit

no it wasn't bullshit in accounting it was real thank you one follower i am a pizza yeah okay we can't we can't go back to that but we all know what it is okay let's read some questions that you've curated yes this is basically unless you want to go more into um space of the week here i don't have any particular ones i mean we've spent some time here before is it wait wait wait Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just scrolling around. I'd like to click on, you write a practical plan to defeat a group of 30 thugs single-handedly. Is that possible?

Okay. The answer, of course, is yes, if you have a practical plan. Absolutely. As long as the plan is practical enough. I imagine it involves a crane arm. Martin Heddington says, of course it is. All you need is a suppressed Uzi. Once you've dropped the first 10 or so, the rest usually rab it off.

What does that mean? The suppressor? That's so the ear defenders don't give you away. Yes, Martin. There you go. What's a rabbit off? What does that mean? They're just rabbit.

They're hopping away, Joe. Okay. They're rabbiting away. He wrote a book called Conditioned Victim, Your Choice. Hell yes. What does that mean? A book I would like to read, by the way. Let's maybe see if we can find that.

Hold on. Emigrated to South Africa in 85, repatriated to the UK in 2021. that's crazy i wonder what was going on in south africa in 1985 knows about vaping hell yeah vaping smoking guns and firearms social media non-verbal communication and body language i've been looking for someone to explain social media to me maybe he knows about xenophobia what the fuck is this guy doing in the group progressive britain keep the right out huh well maybe he actually went to apartheid south africa to be like part of the change yeah yeah maybe he's actually a woke uh patriot have you considered that i kind of doubt

it just given everything that this guy has going on you think he's a conditioned victim i think he might be conditioned victim which is ironic we're on youtube i mean um we're on amazon it's christmas shut up you can buy this book right now for 99 cents folks they're just oh wow you're choosing to be a victim when you don't click on this one so this is conditioned victim your choice a handbook to Help You Survive a Violent and Misguided Society by Martin Heddington. It's got the cover, I should note, has the South African flag in the top right corner.

And then under conditioned victim, question mark, there's chains that are being broken. Yeah. Those are the victim chains. Those are the victim chains to show that it is, in fact, your choice. Yeah, yeah. One of the basic marketing suggestions is you won't sell a book if the victim chains aren't on it.

That's right. We have to read a sample of this, right? I mean, sure. Yeah. Oh, yes, we absolutely can. We can read. Holy cow. Well, because it's Boxing Day.

We will start with Conditioned Victim, your choice of handbook to help you survive. Hold on, hold on. There's a disclaimer here. This is just saying, like, written to help the reader take control of their own safety and lifestyle, whilst every effort was made to discuss

common South African scenarios. It's highly doubtful that any scenario will occur. This is a certified South African moment. Okay, yeah, he's basically like, hey, you can't sue me if you try my techniques. This book might only make sense to our South African listeners because we're too yankified. I think this really is just a book that's like,

you are going to be subject to some guy coming up to you and trying to knife you. So you need to have a plan so that they won't take your wallet. Example one, you're in district nine. Yeah, that's exactly where my brain went to. A big old alien's up there touching your little girl. A nasty bugger shows up. He's got his tentacles all over you.

Do you want to read any of this book? Yeah, we're going to start. So we're at the prologue. The prologue is pretty, I mean, let's move forward a little bit. I want to see, like, what practically he's suggesting. You don't like the Indian saying it starts with? I think it's great. Passengers responsible for their own luggage?

Absolutely. Absolutely. How old of a phrase could that be? It involves luggage. I think luggage has been around a long time, to be honest. I don't know about that. Okay, the logic behind the principles. This book doesn't teach you how to eradicate bandits as some masked Avenger.

Or how to destroy roving bands of thugs. Nor is it an idiot's guide on how to become a Rambo or Lara Croft. Okay. Lara Croft, now you're talking my language. Let's go. Our book frequently encourages you to develop more awareness in how to employ simple drills that keep you unharmed and alive. Its main purpose is to make you think, plan, and to help avoid situations

which are potentially violent. Okay. This is for you, the prospective victim. Joe or Jane Ordinary, who's probably never done anything very aggressive in your entire life. No doubt you're the sort of person who enjoys an ordinary living and working environment

and has normal hopes and visions for your own future along with your own, sorry, your continued well-being. I'm going to interject here. You should not have planned to write this book for Joe and Jane Ordinary because they are probably not picking up Conditioned Victim, Your Choice, a handbook guide to help you.

Yeah, I think I agree with that. South Africa, you should have been like, you're insane. you make people uneasy when you're around and this is how you win fights that's right do all of your nieces and nephews hate you have your kids gone no contact this is a book for you fantasize about killing the people of color in your neighborhood here's how you attack aliens when they escape their local neighborhood yeah and uh it says when considering the protection of yourself and family the order of priorities in defending yourself from a violent attack should

be add as an add to your life expectancy okay let's see what add stands for also everything is in a south african context right i day day avoidance discouragement defense and then and then in part four interdependence ad addy addy so when you see a criminal on the street you should be thinking addy avoidance discouragement defense unfortunately for some some concepts that our outline within this handbook are perhaps politically incorrect. At best, politically dubious. But then as Confucius said, reality

is rarely politically correct. Confucius said that? I don't think Confucius said that. Confucius weighing in on woke moralism? I think you're confusing Confucius with Bill Barr. Who is the Confucius? He's the Confucius of our time, so it's understandable. Very wise man.

Bill Say. Very, very wise. That's his version of New Rule. Confucius say, if you're going to protest Israel, you have to make a sign and then eat it. I don't know what Bill Maher says. No, that is roughly what he sounds like. That's what Confucius say. Confucius say.

Remember when Dave Chappelle interviewed Confucius on Netflix? We got to just hear a full hour of what Confucius really thinks about stuff. Do on others as you'd want them to do on to you, okay? That's a very It's not Confucius No it's Bill Maher the Confucius of our time Did Confucius not make the golden rule No

Jesus What do you mean Jesus That is Jesus Christ You're saying he did because it's boxing day But you're calling Jesus Confucius Is making me low key kind of pissed off Is that a Jesus

Luke 631 The golden rule from a man known as Jesus Christ. Dumbass piece of shit. I thought Golden Rule was Confucius with my boy. I'm getting too mad. That's actually really, really funny. I'm getting too mad to continue this.

Should we go back to the book? Yes. Okay, fine. Are you trying to find Confucius in the article about the Golden Rule? Because he's not going to be there. On Wikipedia. I mean, in your defense,

I don't have a Confucius say off the top of the dome. but i know he say a lot of things he says so many things one of which was reality is rarely politically correct that is my favorite confucius quote don't eat don't eat at starbucks anymore please continue reading from there though um i've occasionally been told that i'm pompous arrogant and offensive but then it's no fun to criticize an author unless he's at least one of the above is it and then in parentheses that's because you often are richard martin there's like three authors of this book one of them is named richard one of them is named martin yeah this really is just like classic amateur writer yeah yeah yeah to do these like editor asides that you

think are funny well they they they they they are you know editor's note no thanks i don't think so uh confucius never said that actually you guys should get together and decide what should be in your book probably yeah i agree you don't need to fight about it in front of me in in the actual work itself by the way and this is just as your editor i'm going to put this in confucius never said you just created a million charlie kirk he didn't know who charlie kirk was he didn't he was an old chinese man it's like confucius famously said um a rich man can never pass through the eye of a needle. Yeah, there we go.

It won't work because I'm full of Christmas spirit. I'm just saving my kisses for the end of the episode. That's right. Jeremy, if you're too mean to Alex, you're not going to get your Christmas kiss. And I know you want your Christmas kiss.

That's all I want. Sweet present. It says, for those whose religion, philosophy, or political ideology doesn't allow them to defend themselves from criminal violence, The reader will also discover various non-aggressive, proactive, and reactive principles for protecting themselves.

From this sample, I do want one rule for fighting. We're almost done with the sample. I'm, like, tempted to just pay the $1. We can't afford it. And buy this man's book. Make it a company expense. Put it on the company card. Part one, avoidance.

Okay. Regarding the ADD concept of protection, avoidance is probably the most fundamental and effective form of protection. Okay, so this is just saying keep your head on a swivel, basically. Pretended aliens coming down your driveway. Avoid him. Hide under your car. This may sound blatantly obvious, but if you don't see trouble coming, you're hardly likely to be able to avoid it.

Now, are you? Ooh, damn. Many successful car hijackings occur at intersections with traffic lights. Why? Because the occupants often also visibly switch their mind into neutral. Well, I think that's actually not the reason that car hijackings are occurring at intersections with traffic lights. I think that the reason that they're successful is that the cars are stopped.

The car stops. I was going to say that. That's kind of the reason. I would say the biggest thing stopping a car hijacking is that the car is already in motion. And then when they stop, then you can steal the car. And when you're at a signalized intersection, not only is the car stopped, the car can't go forward because there's cross traffic going the other way. Pretty much the only guy I see steal a moving car is like Mad Max. Yeah, or like Jack Bauer maybe.

Yeah, somebody who is like a really high-level operator probably doesn't even need to steal a car. Right, but they just do it for the love of the game. They do it because they're on the run from shooting ice because their girlfriend was touched or something. It says develop a rubber neck and constantly look around you. Yeah, keep your head on a swivel. Is that what a rubber neck is?

No. Okay. A rubber neck is when you drive past a car accident and you slowly have to look at it. Oh, what's up? That's when you ask a car accident, what's up? Yeah. i do that all the time in a vehicle for example you usually have no less than three mirrors to

employ in widening your vision they literally give you the equivalent of eyes in the back of your head they do not literally give you eyes in the back of your head well they literally give you the equivalent of that i don't know about that confucius once said mothers have eyes in the back of their head they can see you eat those cookies confucius confucius once said hands on 10 and two i would say it's a misuse of the word literally but uh fair enough fair enough try it sometime it really works if possible try avoiding dark and overgrown places because what you can't see you can't avoid that's true another another popular example of self-deception our research revealed was me watch out for trouble i couldn't live my life that way besides it's far too tiring

anyway aren't the police there to protect me i shouldn't have to live my life as a mindless drone or in perpetual fear. Okay, so this is in quotes because that's what I sound like? Well, here's the fun of this. There's no end quote. So the rest of this is actually just a quote from this guy. The remainder of the

book. Why do you think I talk like Jar Jar Binks? Also, again, they are missing a question mark here. Me watch out for trouble. Alex, I'm so sorry to say this, but you do often sound like Jar Jar Binks. I am not a mindless drone. I didn't want to tell you.

Nobody wants to carjack me. Proud Gungan have no fear of intersection. He's been fish jacked. Yeah, I mean, if somebody was going to get fish jacked. It would be Jar Jar Binks. That guy has no awareness of his surroundings. And he has no luck, let's say. He is somewhat, what's the opposite of star kissed?

You know, he is a... Cursed? He has a cursed soul. Jar Jar Binks. he's the end of space democracy did you guys back in the day like when jar jar binks toys were all the rage you know with the rollout of episode one did any of you did did any of you did either of you get any jar jar binks paraphernalia anybody here um i did not i didn't have a lot of buying power back okay well maybe you get a parent to buy it yeah i mean i clearly was very into him

i right if i would understand being an adult who would give me such a jar jar binks toy but uh Instead, I got things like Jedi power battles on PlayStation. Sure, sure, sure, sure. KOTOR, too. Stuff I really liked. The reason I'm asking is I'm always trying to find somebody who actually got one of those Jar Jar Binks lollipops where the lollipop itself was his tongue.

No, not the one where it comes out of his mouth, because that was another thing. Where are you, friendship? You would literally suck on his tongue. Yeah. I don't want to suck on Jar Jar Binks' tongue. I'm sure people have talked about this, but it is funny. And I know it's Boxing Day.

It is funny that he's a senator in the Galactic Senate, like right before everything falls apart. He's like their version of like Hakeem Jeffries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say no, he's in Congress. It does make it more realistic that you'd suck on his tongue if he's a senator. Go on. Oh, explain it.

Yeah, I'm curious about that. Because then he's doing impromptu sex acts on civilians. He went to Jeffrey Epstein Planet. Oh. I mean, folks, that's good. I don't care who he is. Little St. James Planet. i want to add we have not done one of the questions i wrote i don't want to read questions

this is a quora author we could buy his book for one dollar okay we can he's mostly going off on the police now which we love okay uh this guy says just to clarify the issue the police exist predominantly to protect and serve the community at large not individuals that's not true yeah it's not really that's just not true that's straight up not true yeah i don't yeah the police don't like take a step back and consider the greater good I would say ever.

I just like that he says as for the cops they usually only visit the scene of the crime after the fact to paint that nice chalk line around your body. Damn right.

Damn right. They're just in it for the chalk. Around your body. Your body. Yeah dude. You want that chalk line around your body

that's what you're gonna get from the police. Let me draw his dead ass. Being a homicide cop is one of the last art jobs. It is. It's so sad. In South Africa

where I live. And soon it's going to be AI. Imagine South African Columbo. That is a bit that would be so good if I could do a credible South African accent or a credible Columbo. I was about to say, I don't know enough about Columbo to do it,

but I imagine he says stuff like, you fucked up there. What he does is he says a bunch of things and he's like, I just guess I'll never solve this crime. Except one more. Yeah, and he's always walking right out the door, and he's like, well, there's just one more thing.

There's just one more thing. So do that in a South African voice. In a South African voice. Do it, Alex. Oh, that I should do it? Yeah, you should do it right now. You were volunteering to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, fucking one more thing. Well, that's not South African at all. Well, fuck off in there. I'm in Johannesburg. Are you? Maybe you're that guy. Because that guy, Martin, who we've been reading. Martin Hinton is an Englishman who then, of course, went to South Africa.

So maybe you're him. I am. Yeah, that was my impression of him. Close one. I almost sounded like an idiot there. If you're expecting the same as what's played out in a cop movie or on TV, you're in for a rather nasty surprise because TV and film cops are just actors. Nothing more.

Oh, fuck. In reality, it takes only one to make a quarrel. It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism, while the wolf remains of a different opinion. Dean William Ralph Inge. Inge? I think it's Inge. Okay, so I'm editing Conditioned Victim,

your choice of handbook to help you survive a violent and misguided society. First thing I'm doing is like, let's cut the quotes in half. Yeah. No, I love the quotes. All right. There's just, do we need a quote like every three pages? Kind of, yeah. I don't know.

Listen, I'm on my mother-in-law's Amazon Prime. I'm going to admit that now. Oh, I see that. It's going to be a lot. I do see now it says, hello, Vicky. Hi, Vicky. There's a lot of things in between us buying condition victim, your choice. Wait, hold on.

I just noticed that there are 23 items in cart. Why is there $1,200 of inventory in the cart? Because she likes putting things in the cart, and then maybe she takes them off later. It's just like rescue dog dolls. No, those are like jackets for dogs. Those are dog jackets. Please, they're jackets for dogs. Can we look and see what's in the cart?

No, we can't look at the cart. That feels rude. This is just Alex's mother-in-law. She just likes to look. It's not a public figure. And she also likes to return the things she gets later, which I think is crazy. but that's not

but you know it's very nice she lets me on here I save small amounts of money all the time sorry I'm just I'm losing my mind and in the upper

right hand corner subtotal $1,200.02 well you never know what could be in there but we're not gonna look no can I tell a slightly related story

that's maybe remind me of that's somewhat sad I guess well unless it bums me out why does it have to be sad you better not it's kind of funny

if you bum me out on the podcast I forget it I won't tell you if you make Josh cry don't make me cry I won't do it. I won't do it.

He'll get sick again. You want to read this review of this book on Amazon? It's five stars. Let me read it because you bullied me. You made me do the accent. All right, do it in the accent. No, I'm not doing it in the accent. I don't know how to do the accent.

Yeah, this was reviewed in the United States, so this is an American. Okay, I'm Kenneth from Georgia. Kenneth, you're... I am an NRA refuse-to-be-a-victim instructor, and I will be recommending this book to my future students. Five stars. This South African book is an excellent overview, including the vital psychology and political components

of basic personal and community safety. Okay. 100% chance this is the guy who wrote it, right? Gotta be. It doesn't say who it is. The way he brings up South African again. He's an instructor. Because I feel like the author, every 10 minutes,

keeps being like, again, these are defense tips. I'm noticing every paragraph does mention South Africa. These are South African defense tips. This is a certified South African defense tip. Also, refuse to be a victim is a crazy class to take. Right. South African defense tip number one. Defend yourself here in South Africa.

I wonder how many people accidentally sign up for refuse to be a victim, but they mean to sign up for choose to be a victim. Choose to be a victim. And they get in there like, this isn't what I wanted. I wanted to put my hands up and scream. Read the rest of this review. Okay. It covers personal and community values necessary

if one wants to be a safe person. and not a victim not a victim it ranges through the usual safety issues such as situational awareness the issue of weapons and choice of a home security hardware where this book earns my five-star rating is in its coverage of organizing a neighborhood slash farm watch highly detailed with ingenious tips derived from hard experiences of south africans so i will say this right uh farm watch that's that's just knowing like what the deal is in south africa with land reform and the people who own the farms there. That's setting off a couple of alarm

bells for me. Are you implying there could be kind of like a racialized undercurrent? Maybe? Refuse to be a victim in South Africa book? Maybe? We learned he's woke on his Quora profile, so I don't know what to think. Well, he also said, isn't he a Confucius-style anti-woke, though?

He's anti-political correct. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. He's kind of the dialectic here. He's following the Confucian ideal, yeah. Maybe he changed recently. Became woke so it's like that time Confucius destroyed all of those merchants

flip the tables the money changers in the temple I love when Confucius did that Confucius say pink hair is triggered and I drink her tears out of mug sorry I just saw Avatar 3 the other day and for some reason I was when I heard

pink hair I thought you said pink skin which is the slur that they all keep saying at avatar which i think you would like these fucking pink skins are here i'll check it out but it's pretty different from pink hair as i understand you know everybody knows everybody knows confucius say uh-huh go ahead you know what happens when confucius sing i do not know let's hear it we are charlie cook wow yeah you walked right into that one i did um these damn pinks anyway it's five stars uh it's about south africa ocean area um the on point editorializing on dangerous political ideologies that tend to induce a sort of sociological masochism in re the right to self-protection that's a good point

what a helpful review what's the um four star review who's the guy who thinks it's only okay What if we did just one of the questions? They just started. They didn't leave an actual review. What if we just went and just clicked around a little bit? I can hear. Because I got a special sound today and everything. Okay, I'm happy to do that.

But I feel like when we find a full-on author on Quora.com, I can hear every one of our 15 listeners screaming at their phones, read that book. Please read that book. The problem is I feel like I already kind of know what the book is going to say. We already read it. We're good. We're fine.

It's just, you know, now we can go back to can Jack Skellington beat up the Grinch or whatever. You're ruining it. You're spoiling it. You said what it was earlier, but I can't beat up the Grinch. I am curious. The only thing I'm really curious about with this book is his opinions on like land, farm reform, things of that nature.

Do you want me to buy the book Jeremy? Because I can do it It's just going to take a second You're going to have to fill the air for a second I have to take all the other items out of the cart and then put this book in and make sure it charges me and not Vicky

We're going to Quora. Do you have a specific one you want to do? This week's segment is Mortal Kombat with a q nice mortal combat mortal combat do you have a specific one you'd like to read now that we're 45 minutes into this episode well it does kind of change it i have this interesting question about jack skellington and the fringe go on i thought just might be kind of interesting just because of the season we're in all right let's click does everybody have any strong thoughts jack skellington lives kind of

like in a portal who would win a fight skellington or the grinch all right well um again jack skellington wins easily he lives in a portal world broken says um the grinch is basically a hairy man jack is an immortal skeleton who can tank missiles how is this a contest jake jack extreme low diff can jack skellington tank missiles is that part of a nightmare before christmas i've never actually seen a nightmare before christmas does he get hit with missiles did you have you got you guys have seen it i'm many times i've seen it many times but i was just a boy and i don't remember that well i don't remember the missiles portion i remember the oogie boogie man being genuinely terrified i mean most most of what i like about that is the music i think you know danny elfman did a fantastic

job with that soundtrack yeah and he's pretty hardcore but here's my really good guy too danny i endorse everything he's ever done unconditionally he represents the best of us But what I'd like to say is the Grinch is being horribly low valued here. He is pretty much a gorilla. He has the strength of a gorilla. He can lift a sled over it. He's not pretty much a gorilla. We're not going to let you get by with that.

No, no, he is. No, he is. What is similar between him and a gorilla? Lives in a cave. Sure. Is this something gorillas even do? Yeah, they do. They're primates.

If they find a cave, they choose to live in it. And also, he's overhead pressing all the time. He's pretty much like Liu Wanzhong, but of Grinch society. I was going to say the same, actually. I'm always saying this. Who, as we all know, is an Olympic Chinese power lifter. We do know that, yeah. Inventor of the Liu rays.

Isn't the Grinch shaped like a pear? Yeah, he is. I feel like he's got a big belly and tiny arms. No, that's full of practical muscles. I know he stole Christmas. Here's the thing is the Grinch is somebody who kind of low-key looks like a nerd, but he'll make you come into your cat's crib. I have the Grinch in my...

I'm in his podium sucking him off while he gives a speech. By the way, I love his speeches. He's always doing a long speech, that guy. Who do you think would last longer, Jack Skellington or the Grinch? Sexually? Yeah. Yes. Well, what is a skeleton?

It's probably an infinite amount of time with him. He has no blood. He would just be boning you. He would. He'd be boning you until you ask him to stop. There's one other answer on this. Oh, there's two, actually. What was that interesting sound?

Someone else says, by the Grinch, do you mean the character from How the Grinch Stole Christmas? By Jack Skellington, do you mean the character from The Nightmare Before Christmas? Shut the fuck up! Let me answer that. Yes. And somebody already said that a year ago, so we were adding to it, but yes, that is

the ones we mentioned. And then there's one more collapsed answer here that says, intro, whiz, Jack Skellington, the pumpkin king of Halloween town, boomstick, the Grinch who feels number one Christmas. What is going on here? This is so... Oh my god, this is like a full book i don't know how to describe how long this is it's like a play okay well that was

what is this it's like 10 000 words yeah you know what this is this is like this is like one of those socratic dialogues yes but between boomstick and whiz again it says whiz apparently the ending is that the winner is jack skellington i really had money on the grinch on this i'm surprised nobody's on my team here the grinch doesn't do anything he's just a green guy jack skellington has no muscles he's a pile of bones yeah but he could teleport to any world i forgot he gets hit by missiles i guess but wait i i need to can we go to this person's account real quick and see what kind of the the the one who made the insanely long answer oh it's not sean simons the question asker no no no no i'm curious about uh oh wait the answer's by the guy who asked the question

oh what between whiz and boomstick wait this guy's setting up questions for himself to answer Okay, so he's got he's a space fan made death battles and Ethan's comic. All right. I got to see. I got to see these 88 answers. Have you ever heard of set them up? Knock them down. Could Lieutenant Columbo solve slash assist L in the Kira case?

I have a lot to say. I don't think he is nearly intelligent enough to assist L. L is of the highest caliber chess master. Wait, so this guy is just putting out questions so that he can write his own fan fiction in the answers. Yeah, he's really cool. We all agree. Wait, what else is this guy writing about?

I mean, how smart is Columbo? He's really smart. He's really smart. I don't think he's smart. Wait, search for one more thing. I'm curious if you've got that there in the Columbo. What would Columbo do with access to a Cheney gun? There we go.

Wait, just one more thing. Let's read a little bit before that. Yeah, yeah, okay. Columbo says, yeah, and I noticed that as well. Well, it's unlikely that Mr. Yagami is Kira. He's our main suspect. We need to capture Kira before anyone. I need to interject here.

If you don't know Death Note, Mr. Yagami is Kira. It's a great thing. They're trying to prove it the whole time, but they can't quite prove it. Well, then, that settles it. Thank you, Lieutenant, for your hard work, L says, shaking Columbo's hand. No, no, no, no, no. Thanks for having me here. Well, it's not under the greatest circumstances.

Japan is a pretty place, Columbo says, taking a cigar from his mouth and preparing to leave. I'll get out of your hair now. Wait, just one more thing. Do you have an ashtray? And then I guess the payoff for that would be the next 2,000 words. You sly dog, he says.

You sly dog. I got a wife at home, so I know the feeling. Yeah, that's when he's talking to Light Yagami's girlfriend, Misa. We're just reading fan fiction. By the way. We're literally just reading fan fiction on Quora.com. I don't think we need

you gotta upvote this this is so good there's another just one more thing yeah how many times does he say that in an episode

is this like a whole season of Death Note but Columbo's in it yeah I mean he Columbo will say like the one more thing

he'll do that like once or twice at least per episode Columbo should be added to a 26 episode anime shonen season style structure I'm with you

and that would allow him to grow as a character yes absolutely um what else we got here uh ko ending screen a and b we've actually got two options for the ending ending screen a is that colombo is seen asleep in a chair in the airport awaiting his flight back to america it had been an eventful day for him and he was glad to be heading home ending screen b above lights home which was closed off for investigation sits ryuk who

is holding the death note he sighs as he slowly shuts it revealing he had written light yagami's name down in the book by the way he killed his own guy for those listening the Death Note is a book where if you write anyone's name in it, they die. I don't know if we ever said any of that. If you've seen Columbo, you probably understand that it's a magical book. And for those listening, Columbo is a detective

from the 80s, I think. Late 70s, actually. Yeah, 70s. Okay, so I guess if you're like 60 years old or you watch anime, this has been huge for you. Are there any other? I'm curious what else we got.

Oh, sure. Who'd win the fight the wet bandits from home alone or theodore peterson from hello neighbor series yeah what's hello neighbors goodwin galactus marvel comics versus unicron from transformers scooby-doo or courage the cowardly dog i think scooby-doo's guy i can't imagine them fighting like i don't like that they're fighting but courage is going to lose he's cowardly yeah but he always comes out on top that's i mean that's the thing about courage is he's actually extremely brave he's just concerned frieza or megatron what do you come up with this shit what do you think about actually that's this is one for you alex what do you think this is kind of one for you this is kind

of yeah this thing i'm making fun of this is kind of the thing that you might think of normally yeah well um this is i i unfortunately i feel like i don't actually know megatron's power level well she turns into a giant gun okay well frieza destroys a planet with his finger yeah i think he does he does do that i'm assuming he probably wins let's go to another question yeah that was sean simons though really really cool to see what he's up to yeah ever since he got um what's his fucking name uh you're using seth simons is that what you're going for here i was gonna say ever since he got that guy kicked off ever since he got shane gillis kicked off right i was gonna go i was gonna go in a slightly different direction and and be like ever since

he did that thing of the trump speech where he talked about how many people were in the crowd and got really mad about Dippin' Dots. Is this Sean Spicer? Sean Spicer. There are many similar names, aren't there? Yeah, I guess check out Sean's. Again, Seth is a Seth. The next question, of course, is

what do you think about the Shaolin Temple monks deceive so much about their fighting? What do you think about how the Shaolin Temple monks deceive? What do you think about how the Shaolin Temple monks deceive people so much about their fighting? In my opinion, they are all just a bunch of tricksters. Why was that so hard for me to read? What do you think?

What do you think about how the Shaolin Temple monks deceive people so much about their fighting? In my opinion, they are all just a bunch of tricksters. Question mark. Yeah, I don't think they're a bunch of tricksters. They seem like good guys. Let's look at the answers. We're back on street survival, by the way. And now we're off of it.

In my opinion, they are all just a bunch of tricksters. It is your sincere belief that Shaolin monks are bullshido artists. And by all means, you should find one IRL and challenge him to go eight rounds with you. That does not necessarily mean that. If you're within my travel radius, I'll volunteer my services as a videographer for free. Damn. My money is on you eating canvas in the first round. Eating canvas.

I'd be happy for you to prove me wrong. It's boxing day, y'all. Eat the canvas when the Shaolin Temple monk socks your jaw. What do you think about how the Shaolin Temple monks deceive people so much about their fighting? I think you're a walking, talking case study of the Dunning-Kruger effect in action. Or you're just a troll. Remind me of the Dunning-Kruger effect. This guy's an engineer.

He's also an artist. Go ahead and click on the Dunning-Kruger effect. And a writer. And a teacher. And a veteran. As well as a father. Click on the Dunning-Kruger effect, which is hyperlinked, please. It's probably just Wikipedia.

Just Wikipedia, yeah. But what is it? It's like the better you become, or the worse you are at something, the more confident you are in it because you don't know enough about it. You perceive yourself, if you're very incompetent,

you tend to perceive yourself as being considerably more competent than you really are. Whereas once you get to the very high end and you're really good at a thing, you perceive yourself as being a little less competent than you really are.

Because you know more about it and how it works. This person thinks that they are a really good Shaolin monk. Yes. When they couldn't be a worse one. Sure. I think they think that they could fight a Shaolin monk.

Yeah, well, he's... And that's the problem, right? He probably has pretty low real-world experience with fighting Shaolin monks. He thinks they're bullshido artists. Well, he doesn't think they're bull... Well, I guess he does think they're bullshido artists, and that guy called them out on him.

Admitted, he thinks that. This guy, Resident Evil. Resident Evil, wicked, wicked fight. I don't think they are tricksters. I've known and trained with two monks, and they were both strong fighters with great martial skills. Oh, wow.

okay well that puts it to bed then doesn't it oh but there's also a red pill crusher who's a professional musician oh great what does he say well in my opinion oh no you go for it i was gonna say i think we've found him before well in my opinion you are of extremely low intelligence monks do amazing demonstrations and never make claims that they are great fighters at all if people want to believe they're great fighters well that's not the monk's fault and it certainly doesn't make them tricksters damn so that red pill was crushed uh ed wong says this is not a question and i get that you are not sure and are asking for confirmation okay it's a question it's like objectively a question that's a question ed wong it's a can we follow red pill crusher

finally so we know that we've we know who he is beautiful air i know that we're crushing pills that's great well they're crushing red pills if you go into the bathroom and somebody offers you to have crushed up red pill you should not take it no no take a crush of blue pill stay in the Matrix. Stay in the Matrix, have steak. Let's do one more question and then we'll do it. Is that okay? Master Chief Darth Vader. Wicked fight. This is just another one of this guy's questions, though.

No, it's not. In a fight between Master Chief and Darth Vader, who would win? Go ahead. Find who did it. Go ahead. I'll let you do it. This is an important other guy who asked this. I'm looking at a picture of Cortana instantly, so I'm already winning.

She's so hot. Now, we were waiting to have Claire here to do more Master Chief stuff, so we will be going back to that. By Alexander Ebby. Nothing special, just avid about Big Well Rounded. Questions over and over again about what is the best song to audition

for Footloose with? I was not expecting that. Do you have an opinion on that, Josh? Probably the song Footloose from Footloose would be the best song to audition with. I would also suggest doing Footloose from Footloose. I'm curious, actually, on that one. Don't you want to stand out?

Yes, I'm curious. actually with that one it looked like there were a couple answers i'm curious what people recommended about footloose yeah yeah well just all right um it was up a little bit what would happen if i were to take shark testosterone i don't know nine years ago um i don't think you should do that musical theater there it is uh what is the best song to audition for footloose with i'd choose a song that fits into your range comfortably okay shut up shut up that's a different one that's a different one that's for advanced drama your best bet if you want i know him so well from chess that's a horrible choice sorry i okay whatever alex and i don't

even know how to riff on this but no i know i've seen footloose i've seen a theater version and the movie okay and the theater version was performed by high schoolers making it even better that sounds really funny it was good yeah phoebe says do not audition with a piece from the show by the way unless you're asked to really yeah but how will they know that i know the text i don't know i've never auditioned for a play or been in a play or seen a play or right known of plays but i i understand the idea that you might want to audition with a non-song from you you stand out yeah i mean you would you would want to do 16 bars from something that is sort of comparable and in that world chess is not chess is on uh broadway again yeah now chess is back

Chess is back. It's back, baby. We've got... Go and see Chess. Go and see Chess. I'm going to be seeing it in like two weeks. So I'll report back and let you know. An excellent example of star craft.

Yes. Like stage craft. Lea Michele is in it. Perfect. I believe I've said my story about Footloose high school version on stage before, which is... I haven't heard it though.

I'm curious about this. Well, Josh will appreciate this. So I went and saw it at this very white high school. My brother was in the production of it, and the one black actor was playing Kevin Bacon's part, which adds a very different angle to the story of Footloose, which is the guy from Footloose shows up, and the whole town wants him gone. right and so there was a part where my little brother plays footloose's uncle and slaps him and it looked like a hate crime it's like a real problem whatever dancing based conflict showed up wow uh and it was very funny for me i really enjoyed it up there with the their production of the music man which was also a real treat for me yeah what what i'm curious about that

production of the music man what were the standouts of that the standouts um it was a bunch of children wearing hats and dancing that sounds right would say it was the big standout uh i i one of my favorite plays i've ever seen was a high school production of hamlet uh so we can all agree high school productions are the best they're so funny like it doesn't get better than that and the great thing about this production of hamlet that i saw was that it was adapted and directed by the students so you want it was just it was it was so cracked i i i had a great time Oh, wait. Speaking of productions of Hamlet,

there's one more question I did not put in the doc that I would really like to do. Okay. All right. Hold on. Real quick. Everyone go around the room. No explanation.

Who's winning in a fight? Master Chief or Darth Vader? Darth Vader. Darth Vader. Darth Vader. We all agree. Darth Vader. He has the force power.

He brings down a ship with his fingers. I don't know why that took me so long, but yeah. No, obviously. He's got the force. Come on. All right. So this is a core I thought reminded me of Hamlet.

It says, my ex-wife has been dating my uncle. and it appears that they may end up getting married i somehow feel that she is doing this to get back at me somehow for cheating on her am i just paranoid should i say anything to her about this feeling wait hold on i need i'm i'm processing this is a great question by the way to bring up one full hour into the recording absolutely i feel that she is i feel that my ex-wife is dating my uncle to get back at me for cheating on her there's a lot of conflict my ex-wife has been dating my uncle and it appears that they may be getting wait hold on

it's too much to digest even three alphas can't understand it i said do it who cares here's the thing is if you're an alpha your uncle would never steal your girl like that so it's really like it's like trying to read braille or something to us three alpha males it's a little confusing it's like trying to explain how you would defeat a shaolin monk right i just my brain doesn't compute i could it can't be done it It can't be done. The thing is, they're too tricky. So are ex-wives in that same way.

Oh, are ex-wives the Shaolin monks of the world? Yeah. They're Shaolin monks of love. Yeah, I was going to say, Shaolin monks are also of the world. They live on the same earth as us. They're different. They breathe the same air we breathe. I don't think Shaolin monks are all ex-wives.

Oh, I've married a few of them. Hey, let me tell you something about my Shaolin monk. to to address the question uh i don't think you're paranoid i think that she probably got really mad that you cheated on her and is probably trying to hurt you by dating your uncle which i would feel really weird about that one i think she still loves you and she wants to date a guy who's not that similar to you but maybe a little similar to you and much older than you i'm assuming this is written by lmfao the band the uncle nephew band right correct so it was uh so he's like your uncle, but he's like the same age

or whatever. I have left Red Foo for what are their names again? It's Red Foo and Pop Quiz, LMFAO's names. Everyone do your best guess. What's LMFAO's names? Darth Vader. Master Chief. Okay.

And Red Foo, yes. And Red Foo. I couldn't tell you how many people are in LMFAO. Two. Two. Okay. The duo. Remember we got content strikes when you played their whole song? I don't know about this. It's the uncle-nephew duo. What do you mean you don't know about this?

I'm just impressed you're calling them LMFAO and not M-F-A-O. Wasn't there a rumor about LMFAO that they would both be doing a chick at the same time? Imagine double-teaming a girl with your uncle. That's crazy. Who's also the pop duo LMFAO. That's what we call party rockin'. I'll say. Party cockin', more or less.

Oh, you're goddamn right about that one. Party cock is in this girl tonight They're both singing it in unison It's an uncle-nephew As they're Eiffel Towering It's an uncle-nephew good time Is a hell of a lyric by the way Just imagine going back to your friends

And be like yeah I just got Eiffel Towered By LMFAO It was actually kind of weird We're in heaven LMFAO should do a cover of that song They should But it's like crunk. It'd be really good.

A crunk version of Weird Heaven. Should we do a listener question or are we just calling this? No, no. Let's do the listener question. All right. This is the bold words of someone who doesn't have to edit this one. Yeah, we should do a listener question. All right.

I'm going to Gmail. No one look at Alex's email. I'm just going to pick one of these. Okay. Choose wisely. Choose wisely. Sometimes they suck. Didn't this one from Hooptastic?

This is Hoopstatic. Hoopstatic. no hoops tastic oops tastic sorry it's a little column a little column b there if a co-worker you thought was cool and chill turns out to be a rat bastard who uses his little rat paws to take your wife out on one of his little rat bastard dates can you report him to hr for bullying even if the date happened outside of office hours so this sounds like more of a question for hr this sounds like a specific logistical question that has a yes or no i'm not qualified to uh answer this question i would probably lead my report with just being like

your honor he's a rat bastard I think the question is if it's bullying right it comes down to motivations right so if you're a rat co-worker who's a rat bastard if he's trying to take your wife out on a dinner date just to get at you if he's trying to get back at you

then yeah that's bullying and you can bring it to HR if he's doing it because he loves your wife then that's just true love that's true love and it might be truer love than your love this has to be gamed out The law here is clear, which is that it's allowed.

I guess. It's, again, three alphas trying to imagine their girl getting stole. Yeah, it's hard for me to imagine. I can't picture it, bro-ham. My rat co-worker is Alex. I'm rubbing my hands together. It's more realistically Claire. Because I'm coming to take him away.

Damn. Yeah, stealing your girl is definitely Claire's modus operandi. Claire's stealing both of our girls. You're rubbing your paws like a rat. A rat's paws. Well, I'm picturing cheese. Oh, nice. And that's what allows me to do it.

Well, now I'm picturing cheese, and I'm having a great time. Everyone stop and imagine cheese real quick. Ooh. Ooh. I'd like to bite that. Thanks so much for listening to the Quarriors podcast. And thank you for sending us an email, which you can do at quarriors at gmail.com. Did we play the theme song for it?

Is that okay? Yeah, we played it at the beginning. No, the one for this segment. Oh. I'll be honest with you. We did a lot of things wrong. That's all right. In like one hour, we messed up a lot of things in a row.

Weather report, it's sunny. Oh, we didn't do the weather report. People don't even know if it's warm out. There's also going to be some bonus that we're going to do as well, right? Yeah. For the Patreons. It is going to be on Patreon. Stick around.

If you can't get enough of me, I've got great news for you, boys. There's going to be even more. Do you have any plugs you want to do, Josh? Yeah, absolutely. You can listen to my podcasts. The first one is called The Worst of All Possible Worlds. We talk about media, pop culture. Both of you lads have been on the show.

That's right. And, you know, every week it's just a different piece of media. We're talking about it. We're having a good time having goofs and gags and sometimes also very thoughtful and provocative conversations about media, depending on the mood we're in, you know. Media is in the house tonight. Everybody going to have a good time.

That's right. I actually do go back every so often if I am in need of a pick-me-up, and I'll listen to five or ten minutes, of the Dragon Ball Z episode just because I really enjoy sort of like hearing you explain Dragon Ball Z. It's great. It was very foundational for me

as a podcaster to get to really stick my hands all the way into that text. Absolutely. It's the first time he's ever gotten to talk about Dragon Ball Z. It's crazy. Thank you for the opportunity. I would love to do it again. I would love to do it for like five to six years

twice a week if possible. All right. well maybe maybe that can happen um the other show that i do is called ill-conceived it's a podcast about natalism which is the uh idea that everybody needs to be having more kids right now and i'm on it and yeah you're doing great do it and basically we just talk about like what the ideology is where it's coming from why these people are so dogmatic about it uh turns out that a lot of it has to do with racism what a little spoiler alert for you i know that's why i did it anyway um great job guaranteeing the future of the white race alex i'm doing what i can oh

also after the uh plugging the future of the white race i should mention just because i'm always surprised at how many people can uh not know we have a patreon despite very clear calls to action here we have a patreon it's at patreon.com slash quarators and there's a bonus episode every week and Josh is on it. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Just this week. I'm being explicit.

For one week only. Oh, my God. We should do it at the beginning one day. Maybe one day. Maybe next year. Maybe next Boxing Day we'll open up

a Patreon episode for two. But thanks again for having me on, guys. This is a blast as always. Thanks for doing it. It's great laughing around the Christmas tree. I'll say.

Well, I'll see you never at the post office. Hold on. You have to explain that before I end this. What do you mean by that? Stamps.com needs to save for the ads. Okay, goodbye.