Quorators - Can You Marry A Wife Who Is Older Than You?

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: I haven't eaten any food in 20 years and I am obese. How do I cope? Why don't we drink the milk of a female blue whale and become extremely strong? Can you get pregnant from humming a pillow or a feather pillow? ----- COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW AUGUST 5th in NYC https://caveat.nyc/events/quorators-8... Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show on http://youtube.com/@quorators Listen to Alex's audio drama series Theater of Delights  https://soundcloud.com/theaterofdelights/sets/season-5-gran-nidorino

Land ho, Quora sailors. We've got a great live show coming up in New York City, the City of Lights. It said August 5th, the caveat. Go check the description of this to get a ticket link and come to our live show. And until then... Quorby! Quorby! Rest assured, there's a very soft cat just out of frame.

pictured below. Oh, which one of these was yours? I think this one? Yeah. Yeah, that was me. I can tell the way you were sipping it. Oh, yeah. I sip it nasty style.

When I drink water, I go nasty. I lap it up like a dog. I noticed that it's been slurped to the bone, is how I would describe it. This is going to piss people off more than last week when we talked about people with full diapers of poop. uh-huh which again we are doing because we're doing journalism so that's maybe a personal

problem it's genuinely kind of hard for me sometimes to like remember what stuff people don't like because none of it really bothers me that much no not to be like one of those like nothing offends me like i get that it's like that's about that's on me or whatever but um well it's like when you send uh jeremy scahill to cover iraq and he sees like the beheadings of like a hundred children and then he comes back and he's like oh this is what triggers you yeah me reporting that there's poop in my pants and if that makes me feel good yeah that's a problem we're doing it again that's how we feel when we look at quora we come back and we're like that's what bothers you it feels good what's the problem

uh i didn't mean to talk about it no no it's on it's i brought it up bail bail we're doing the song bail bail bail bail bail hit it you're back for quarators for another week the only show that asks what That is Quora. What is it? No one knows. What the hell is this? It's been 50 episodes, and we're still not sure what it is.

We're no closer. I've lost touch with my family in this time. I think it's a website, but it also might be a community. There are communities inside of it. We've built a community around it. I was talking with one listener of the show at one of my stand-up shows last week, And he said very off offhandedly, you've ruined my life. And then rephrased it as just like, I get a lot of Quora's in my email.

I mean, fair enough. That's a bold way of putting it. I didn't even like contradict him or anything. I was like, oh, sorry. My bad. My bad for inventing Quora. That's the kind of content I want to make is where people come up to me and say, you've ruined my life. You've ruined my life.

My wife left me because of all of the Quora digest I get. And if your life does leave you because of Quora, there is a vast array of resources at your disposal on exactly the things you can and can't do in that situation. And guess who's sending you emails about it? It's Quora.com. It's Quora.com. Shout out. It's Quora.com. You may have noticed our raw dog in it this week.

What do you mean? Oh, no guest. Just a freaking poison to see. No condom, no protection, no guest. All this talking about making it feel good. We got a raw dog this next week. We should. And so we moved our schedules.

We cleared. People were booked. We said, not this week. Get out of here. Not this week. We need some intimate time with the listeners. The people demanded it. They said, you have too many guests on the podcast.

Too many high profile guests. Too distracting. I just want to look at the boys. I can't focus on the chorus. But there's some real good stuff. And it's not only just the worst stuff because we wouldn't show it to a guest. That is not what we do here. What was our question last time?

I remember Drew fired one out. No, so. He was quick on the draw. Yeah, let's see. Drew was a much more curious person than us, I think. Spells with a Q. So I think that he had like a real question and we were like, make it dumb, make it misogynistic. So the question was, how did they get water to the top of tall buildings before electricity?

Did they use wind? Now we added, did they use wind? Drew was like, I genuinely want to know this. Well, you have to say something stupid so that people click your question and then are cool to you. That's what we want. And a quick reminder to the fans, if you are listening to the show and hoping to answer our questions,

make sure you use those phrases. Scrambled eggs. Now we will say, who's cursing me? Here's a great one. It's a fan. Someone said, I'm obsessed with your podcasts, Alex. Hashtag scrambled eggs. Okay.

Say hi to Jeremy, an unknown guest. Guess what? There is none. There's no guest. You fucking idiot. It's raw. it's raw do we have any actual answers uh yeah that same person said y'all's hot that's a real one okay no but they know scrambled eggs why are you answering the question four times that's crazy

this is the one person put it all in one question take a add an indentation tall buildings mostly weren't that tall and didn't have plumbing and people carried their water up in buckets they also use chamber pots and carried the waste away in buckets i expect to use different buckets so the answer is buckets yeah they got water to the top with buckets thanks for writing in someone else says steam engines were invented for the purpose of pumping water originally not for pumping water up buildings but for pumping it out of mines when piped water was being developed a pump was used to raise the water to add to a reservoir at the top of a hill or tower this pressurized the distribution mains sufficiently to raise the water to a storage

tank at the top of the building of course it was impractical to build very tall buildings before the development of electrical power that's a great answer that is a good answer i feel so strange whenever we get a good answer me too it is a little odd um let's see i saw some scrambled eggs in here i wanted to read one no i can't find it that's tough oh here you go they put hash in the water no not the kind you have with your scrambled eggs in the morning i'm talking about weed the chronic caused the water to get high and they encased the water in water towers yeah i know that's that shit i remember i had one summer where we couldn't get any weed uh in uh in high school and so we just smoked hash for the entire thing like one large nug of hash that we just made work

for like months um i don't think i realized that there was i don't know i don't know if it was like it's different than opium but it's also not weed i don't use a pipe it's like really concentrated and you feel bad when you smoke it but um at a certain age that isn't important and what's important is that you're breaking the law right right it's really just about doing something legal because you're kind of a glutton for crime when you're a suburban teen that's really all that you have to turn to is just smoking anything you can put in a pipe i uh i had a friend in middle school or maybe in high school who would always insist on smoking pretzels i talked about this in the podcast ah i believe you did i thought it was so lame he would just take like stick pretzels

and light the ends of them be like you want a puff and i'd be like just get cigarettes i don't know what to tell you this sucks you might as well be getting actually sick instead of whatever this there's this is there you're you're getting no enjoyment from this you're scaring the hose scaring the hose eric jeremy was obsessed with the hose that guy also once i've invited me to his house with some other friends and then just showed us a bunch of porn and we're like we don't want to see that that's what's up yeah that's what's up wow he probably has the closest circle of friends now just like the the people that that worked on are like bonded for life with blood brothers he also not to just talk about this guy forever but just a very high school moment is

um he taught himself how to play guitar and then like one month later he kept telling everyone i'm the fastest guitar player at school where are you no one can catch me not even like not even like talent just or skill just like i can go faster oh by the way there's a cat slightly off okay i think you can kind of see her you're just gonna have to take my word for there's a fluffy puff. She's looking at me. She's just too lazy to move, man. That is why we're so close to each other. She doesn't like that we're interrupting her

moment of solitude. She's never been on the podcast before. This is Luna the cat. I got her through a window. Anyway, good answers on that. The answer is buckets. They got water to the top with buckets. They'd have your serving boy bring you

a bucket. Alright. This is QuoraMD. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. I like to test jeremy every week by having him find this why do you do this to me uh yeah go to that's just gonna cut this out go to desktop it's quora md it's quora md that's right um every week i learned less about the human body than i knew before it i it weaves my brain and it's single-handedly thanks to this wonderful website now we got some top questions today jeremy i can't wait to raw dog them and bust no limit style oh it feels so good but we have no guest but it's more dangerous

it is more dangerous and it can leave you with with child um now this is somewhat of a theme we're going to be covering for this first few okay for us uh would you like to read it okay i am 346 pounds and i'm four six is that normal so the first thing you're going to notice 346 and four foot six that is blessed that is divine those are those are divine numbers they're matching each other yeah i mean yeah you have as many pounds after 300 as you do height and feet and then inch you could start a religion around that what does it once the numbers start matching up you could like you're fucking that's all it takes what was the movie the number 23 with um yeah jim carrey where he's 346 pounds he's 323 pounds and he weighs and he's

he's two three he's two foot three he's like a he's a horizontal man he's like completely horizontal his dimensions have swapped i never saw that movie but just even the trailer was so funny where he was just like writing stuff down he's like there's two refrigerators and there's there's three dogs it's 23 and then people were like what are you saying and then he was like it's the devil i don't know pretty quickly it turned out he was right though right i imagine i haven't seen it was real and that his number is the number 23 because they're like two times three is six and then three sixes is six six six that's not anything jim carrey don't let jim carrey mastermind your film um i think that's very funny i i'm also just into

the raw premise of a guy like being very skeptical of one number yeah i there's just something about turning religious symbolism into dumb math. I always refer to the Evangelion approach where they're like, here's a bunch of crosses. What do they mean? I don't know. We just thought that crosses look cool. They mean slash and then zoom. Up and then sideways.

I feel like every time people ask Hideki Ato about that show, if it's religious, they're like, there is a guy named Adam who's on a cross. He's just like, I just thought it looked cool. I thought it rocked. I just thought it was a cool name. Why is Adam on the cross? Great question.

it's like a different guy um anyway yeah uh i think it's heavier than normal it's definitely yeah not healthy and you know this is coming from a judgment-free zone but i think you are crushing all of your organs and bones oh no there is like a thing where like we every year we find out that like obesity is not as bad as as people think but i do i have to imagine that that's too much yeah there's got to be a ceiling on that i mean this is think of this this is like modok proportion but he's not even asking they're not they're not asking like is it bad they just want to know is it normal is it normal and then what the answer is no no i mean it's not common but the top comment is like you cannot be measuring yourself

oh i'm sorry i uh measured wrong i'm uh six meters tall i'm 19 feet tall and there's a guy the blue lives matter flag on here saying for all the people sugarcoating this please give op some reality yes get his ass bad word choice because we're all addicted to sugar and i'm sure this person is too i was in the same situation not height wise but i was 300 to 310 pounds at a point in my life something i realized is that only people that were honest about my weight issue was my doctor and that really really hit me when i was told i wouldn't have a long enjoyable life i kept it up something i realized was i needed a gun yeah and that's why i joined the police i was i think it's the other way around

i think he's in the police the police force he's 310 pounds he's looking around he's like yeah this is standard he has death duty for shooting all those kids he doesn't get up and about anymore the doctor's like you're not gonna be able to uh murder all these unarmed black teens unless you for as long as you want unless you you know cut back on the food you've only got a few few years left so yeah he says you gotta break out of your shell and go to the gym i i am very into tough love coming from forum culture that is a fantastic collabo were you a big forums guy um no not really i love to lurk i love to kind of just sit back and discuss i shouldn't even say this but like i i feel like there's probably a forum or two where you could find like thousands of posts i made when

i was like 14 yeah and i again i i don't surprise there's no one but it's i remember i found it once i found one of them and i was looking through my old posts when from like high school early high school and like my most one of my most recent posts i don't even know what it was in it was like someone quoting asking if i was gay and i say ha ha i'm not gay i just talk weird because i'm 14 that's so honest of you yeah just like oh no good question don't try to date me i'm 14 i'm just a boy i'm just a boy yeah that is the hard part of posting when you're a boy is you have to just end all those posts with i'm just i'm just a boy don't sit on i'm thankful that like you know most of the permanent internet came when we were a little bit older yeah that's the thing is it's

hard to search like newgrounds forums yeah no it can't be done i don't think i said anything like a bad or offensive really but i definitely said things that are embarrassing you know what the cutoff is is facebook like i can search every dumb thing i said in 2005 you can you can find everything i've said and photos i took of myself even like in high school on you could find that right now you can see what i looked like in high school i remember i like it was very confusing how the internet worked um i made a facebook group if you remember groups um that was just called i love hitting my friend nico and it was just pictures of me just hitting really just wailing on my friend nico who will soon be a father uh and then all the comments were our

classmates being like stop what did he do to you and it's like me like mid-air ready to like elbow drop this guy and he's like curled up on the ground and they're like i don't like this group and i'm like no it's a group my friend and i based in high school we had i also invented based you invented based and then i said they're not ready yet let's put it back in yeah little b saw that and he stole it from me um i uh i my friend and i in high school like early high school had a goal to try to get banned from uh like 100 groups collectively so we would just go to groups and we didn't want to do like we weren't like racist or anything we would just go to a group that's like i love eggs and we'd just be like eggs are terrible you suck and then

they'd ban us yeah you just so annoying yeah they would throw you out of one yeah did you reach 100 i don't think so i don't remember it's very easy that's like very like before you get all the way there that's like very like early you know internet though like of just like what if i was annoying then the people will notice me then they'll know i'll know the name jeremy he's not allowed in here i was the fastest guitar player in school that's really something anyway if you're 346 pounds you're a rare bird at that height it's uh let's do the next question okay similar one so this is kind of rhymes with the last one i haven't eaten any food in 20 years and i am obese how do i cope so this is a sphinx's riddle it's poetry it rhymes time the answer is he's time um

i'm trying to think if there is like an answer to that but not really there's not really one no it doesn't fully i mean the the answer is oh they're lying no no of course but time is a good one if it was a riddle if you read it like it is a riddle time is the closest you got what am i i have not eaten food in 20 years and yet i am obese see here's the thing am i this is why only the core raiders can can tackle this the economy your your water um um the sun um if you haven't i haven't eaten any food in 20 years and i am obese that is the statement that is not the question the question is how do i cope the answer is you're dead you're a ghost and you have unfinished business how do i cope you get into big man

and that's pretty cool so like you know how biggie smalls would just be like sexually fat that's what you gotta be you gotta be like wearing a chain with no shirt on this person's dead right oh because they haven't eaten food in 20 years yeah this is not a live person just a fucking liar man there's a unless it's like you're getting directly like uh food uh that would be kind of interesting if you're obese and you're getting you have like the pump that's food in your stomach they're like they gotta change the yeah talk to the people who are doing that change the numbers on this there's too much going in yeah that seems easy uh yeah i mean just press the down arrow a few times yeah press down on intake um of your machine solved that uh but yes back to sexual

fat culture sure what is some of the sexiest fat guys you can think of um jack black jack black jack black is undeniably sexy the thing about being uh him he's burning a lot of calories always leaping and jumping and the key is confidence oh yeah you gotta really man in a world that tries to bring him down yeah you gotta be like the kingpin from daredevil yo the kingpin from daredevil now that's a hottie isn't anybody like isn't anybody cooler than the king now to bring this into the dawn into what is it not just uh being overweight but as a balding man oh yeah speak on it brother the kingpin what i love about the kingpin is that anytime people are always trying to smoothies people are always trying to cast that actor as other bald

characters they'll be like that guy would be a great lex luthor and it's like you just he has you know he had he just shaved it right like you get a real bald guy i saw someone say like he has to play the kingpin in the other one and the new one because he like he there's just not that many great bald actors he is the kingpin he's not bald they just shaved his head he acts so bald you can't believe it it's like i feel like when i'm watching a movie people are like wow inside blue and davis is great which it is great but they're like oscar isaac's the most jewish man alive and And I'm like, he's not Jewish. He's as Jewish as he is bald.

It's fine that he's in it. He's great in it. I also like that when people are like, we need more Jews in Hollywood. And I'm like, I'm a centrist on this issue. I think both sides have great points. There are too many and not enough. Are there too many or are there too few? I don't know.

Depends how I'm feeling that week. but um anyway i'm gonna get fat power is what it's all about embrace it wear a chain sure um feel like jack black and biggie smalls yeah do music of some kind and also i oh oh you gotta wear a big ring on your pinky also eat food also go back to it why are you taking 20 years off you're obviously like born to be fat don't be doing that if you can do ghost technique and still be a lardo you might as well go full hog into it this is somehow our most offensive episode ever i'm just saying how do i cope you're the kingpin now and you're the dawn all right let's let's go to something a little more like um neutral here this is i think we're still medical

questions more agreeable on this question what percentage of italian blood do you need to be considered fully italian interesting now i'm gonna say the answer is pretty clear here 100 100% is obvious. And there's zero people on earth who are fully Italian. Yeah, except for a little man known as Jesus Christ. The thing about being Italian is that if you don't have full Italian blood, then you cannot be a dragon rider. And that's why you need to keep that in the family. You got to keep that in the family.

Also, my mother loves to feed me. uh anything less than 100 is um not only not full-blooded italian but disgusting and so you really gotta yeah you gotta keep it pure it doesn't matter where you're from even if you're like in italy if you're like 95 percent italian yeah that's considered by the scientific community italian american yeah so you're pretty much from new jersey yeah you're just from new you're a character you're like a lesser character in the sopranos and i think i mean and i've never been to europe but i think italian people are not fans of that no of uh new jerseyites probably not i don't know what they're you know they're weird country over there isn't like mussolini's

granddaughter like in politics in italy yeah she's a powerful she's like a senator or whatever they have over there she does the like my grandfather had some great points but also i have a picture of him at my house because before you killed him he was my grandpa he was just poppy to me he was pop pop i called him pop pop and you slid his throat and hung him upside down on the rafters um so we're both in in consensus here it's 100 yeah god i'd be 100 what does the community say though because i feel like this may be uh interesting make sure go go from all related to direct answers we want to only the and i'm sorry my brain always goes to um game of thrones but that's the only way i really know how to filter things oh quora plus right away yeah

quora plus uh i do see they say something about john turturro and ariana grande though all right let's see has anybody ever said anything nice about ariana grande on the internet um i don't know somebody like ariana grande i enjoy her songs it's always like she what What's she, Ariana Venti next? This is what my daughter's listening to? A goddamn coffee cup? She's a coffee cup now? I got to write my name on this woman?

I tell the lady at the counter that I want my Ariana Grande named President Trump, and then they won't do it. And then they won't. To answer your question, it's 100%. And that's what I am. And that's what I am. 100% my dad is German, though. This is good.

In order to be considered fully Italian, you need to either have Italian citizenship or have been raised in Italian culture and be living in Italy. Pictures are Robert De Niro. Other actor guy. We're going to have to scroll down. Michelle Piccoli. Michelle Piccoli. Surprise. He's just French.

Michelle Piccoli is French. Yeah, I don't know who that is. but no shit. Yeah, his name's Michelle. This one also, it does say, it says De Niro is American. Yeah, this is like

their wall of fake Italians that they put up here. Yeah. In other words, what matters to us is your culture. If you're culturally Italian, you are Italian.

Ah, Bella. You gotta harass women. That I might be able to get Italian citizenship. Oh, for real? Yeah. Oh, we gotta get on that. My wife's...

Do you wanna have like a hype house in Italy? Yes. Because this is honestly a direction I'm very interested absolutely so so my wife's um grandpa is like from italy and has like his they have his passport oh her great her great grandpa anyway so apparently if you have that you can if you just pay like you know five thousand dollars they'll just like process it for you and you become an

italian citizen automatically okay and then if you're married to someone who is an italian citizen you become an italian citizen within like three years so i would be an italian citizen and then once you have that license you are allowed to yell at women in the street yes and i could live anywhere in the uh european union oh cool i'm but you would live in italy yeah obviously i'd live i mean you wouldn't betray your own blood would you no no because there are sharp repercussions i um i i i want to do it so i can just go around italy and be like a matzo ball italian hype house staring at women staring is a big part of it not just saying stuff but like just staring too long Apparently, it's very easy to become Italian, especially if you're like a white person,

because they're just like, come on in. Please. Please. We're so racist. It's true, though. And then you could go live somewhere cool, like Ireland or something. Yeah. Yeah, somewhere cool like Ireland.

Isn't Ireland cool? People like Ireland, right? It's like pretty and no one lives there. Yeah, no one lives there, I guess. But do you know why no one lives there, Jeremy? Because it's not that cool. It's raining. You can't live in England because they've Brexited.

Yes. So that's out of the picture. Also, no one wants a British high pass. No. Where you have to leave pee on the table for your mates. I meant like the money, not like urine. Okay, I did not understand that. You have to leave pence on the table.

Yeah, like 15p for your nonces. i can't really keep the closest thing to a british uh hype house would just be we'd be the clockwork orange guys which would be pretty cool yeah they were hype they were the hypest yeah they had a whole ass look to them yeah dude and then they like they they open up our eyes and and they put us in front of just like a tv showing like a thousand hours of like phase clan twitch videos yeah then we know how to get double kills in the bottom lane um so yeah everybody is agreed you have to be 100 and also culturally yeah be from my boot um blah blah blah blah blah trust you with anything else no no it's good a bunch of goddamn englishmen

in this thread let's change topics we got we got we got some more fire lined up we got some Next up, Quoromance. Let's go. Welcome to Quoromance. We're going to be raw-dogging this Quoromance segment. Hey there, lover boy. And statistically, that's who we're talking to. That's who we're talking to, lover boys.

And we're going, this podcast is going to turn you into a lover man. Ooh, yeah. How come you never hear lover man? Lover man. Hey there, lover man. Lover man. Hey there, lover woman. Lover Man.

Great name for a band. Lover Man would be a good superhero. Yeah. I am Lover Man. I have trespassed the rules of many states. Put down that gun, bank robber. We all love each other here. See, I go physical with it.

Sure. Yeah. Fair enough. I was going more emotional. Lover Man. He has to learn to love. Yeah, that's true. Don't we all?

That's kind of his arc. Anyway, so there's so many questions with love, and Jeremy and I, as a reminder, if you're new to the show, we're two married men. Two married men, both virgins. And so we have a lot to teach the internet. Save ourselves for death. Okay, this question is, can you marry a wife who is older than you? Can you marry a wife who is older than you? Again, it kind of has a Sphinx-like quality to it.

Who's older, you or your wife? Oh, no, she is older. Really? By one month. So it can be done. it can be done although that one month is a tense time in this household the power dynamic totally switches around i feel like 11 months of the year i'm very knowledgeable and then from march to april

i'm like i i gotta just hear her out you're like the guy from our bonus episode we did last week where the guy they did an iq test and he wanted to believe his wife because she got a higher score because she was too wise yeah and listen to the patreon this is not to say that i actually do know more for the other months but i feel like we're on even footing and then right it slips away the second i'm one year younger right because you'll show your guys are like you'll both be like 33 and then all of a sudden uh she's 34 and you're 33 yeah i mean we're waiting for that to happen yeah because we're still 17 but yeah um how about you are you the same age as your wife i'm like six months older than my wife so uh age gap age gap

relationship yep yeah i'm an old robber cannot in good conscience support that nope so that period of time where you could drive and she couldn't yeah did that allow you like a level of power um no it sucked i had to drive to her house pick her up and then drive back to my house a lot of of time we lived like 30 minutes apart yeah but i mean and this goes back to being a sexual fat man sure didn't that make you want to like wear sunglasses put you one one fat arm out the side of your car driving around so much keeping things slow and cigarettes falling out of my fingers as i drive because i'm 100 italian yeah i mean i did do all that yeah the cigarette was a pretzel but oh wait when you said your friend was smoking the pretzels did you did you meant like the

pretzel cigars like the long stick the long stick pretzels those things were so yummy why would you smoke that because he's an idiot kids are so desperate to do illegal shit desperate but like he was not cool so he couldn't like actually why don't you turn 18 and start doing hash every day even though it makes you scared i can't imagine he does but eric if you listen to this sorry that i called you out so hard yeah i know some people from my life listen to this and then i feel bad because i'm like that guy's an idiot to be safe you should just say their full names eric clapton so can you marry a wife who's older than you um yeah you can and it's a rush not only is it allowed it's crazy to do okay all right it's like the answers are going to be good

for this before like before like you know because now you go on like uh you know porn websites wherever and the big taboo is like step siblings but like for the last for hundreds of years ago just having a wife who was a little older than you that was like the big nasty taboo it was like whoa that guy's crazy i think well i think in like ancient times it was like average for the man to be 20 years older than the woman every time yes uh because women were treated like property yes and And I was like, whoa, this is not okay. And we don't think that's cool, by the way. Back in Bible times, I was like, this is not okay.

But now I'm like normal. Official curator stance. Yeah. We say it's not cool that women were treated like property. I'm against it. And here's what I'm for. Marrying someone who is at least one month your age. Or at most six months within your age.

Yes. Okay, top answer from Diane Smilke. this is the top answer this is number one everyone's listening to smilky on this one i am 14 years older than my partner and we are very happy together we just see it as somebody had to be the older one which happened to be me no that's not how that works hey someone's got to be 14 somebody's got to be like a high school length of time older than the other one how old are you diane um you know she's she's not like on the show right now she's okay they're right hey that's my bed i didn't know that i i forgot where

she doesn't know we're raw dogging it uh we are extremely close he is an amazing person what's great about him is that he doesn't just tell me he loves me he shows it in his actions i give thanks every single day for my loving partner and you can assume before she wrote partners she wrote like baby bear or something and then crossed it out and was like don't be weird on this one don't be weird on this one don't be weird on this one tell them we're normal for that one month of the year alex's wife calls a baby bear yeah and i need some milky jesus christ and that's why her name is diane some milky because she giving it out because she's giving it out it's just the boys it's just the boys today

also if we had a big if we had a clouded guest we'd be too scared to say stuff like that told them when it's milky what do you think is a italian citizenship they'd be like i think it It's a normal amount. And we'd be like, oh, that's probably right. I just want to be politically correct. I'm German-English. So, yeah, also, and this is important to say, every year I'm recording podcasts in July and August,

it gets so hot. I don't think any blood goes to my brain. And I just record everything I say for an hour, and I think it's terrible that this is out there. But here's a good one. In Japan, older wives are called anasennyobo. Oh. There's an old proverb that say, look for an older wife, even if she wears gold straw sandals.

An older wife is a medicine for her wife, and an older wife builds a warehouse. Parentheses, get rich. Get rich. Dude, your wife's so fucking old. I love these proverbs. You're going to be so rich. Yeah, I mean, if you're marrying an older woman for money, respect. respect you gotta respect that hell yeah in italy we call that building a warehouse

yeah dude what was it called in the thing was it built a warehouse yeah he said building the warehouse building a warehouse it's across the world japan i know but famously friends in world war ii famously friends also japan famously uh respectable to women just a culture that loves women um absolutely yep and so all right yeah you can all right next question can someone get pregnant from humming a pillow or a feather pillow so is this like a is humming a sex term or is it just like humming into a bill i assume they mean humping uh might be like is this like tiktok speak yeah are you humming that pillow it's like filming a corn movie humming a pillow I thought Alex said if you want to say porn on TikTok, you can put the corn emoji.

I didn't get that. Also, I subtitled my stand-up joke wrong, and I still am getting silenced by the Chinese robot. TikTok's over. It's over now, so that's fine. But can you get pregnant by humming a pillow or a feather pillow? I don't know. We have several pillows here. Get to humming.

Get to humming on them. Now, there's some behind us there. um so yeah i've never heard that did you have sex at a new school yeah we did i mean it was a catholic school you did i talked to the i talked to you about this before in middle school i was in catholic school so they would like lie to us about certain stuff like the uh health teacher told those condoms don't work 50 of the time which is wild odds also it does sound a little bit like he's bragging just like they break every time you put them on your monster yeah i can't even use magnums kids my dick's too damn i'd say i have a 50 chance unless i put it

all around the head it's catholic school someone wanted to say this i have a monstrous head my penis is all head and that's me saying that as your health teacher it's a micro fetus technically but it's ginormous yeah it's like um a great shield it's like seeing a huge mushroom head yeah muffin top it's like the kind of mushroom like rayman would bounce on if that clears up anything anyway yeah anyway tests are gonna be tomorrow study up uh save it until marriage as well that's also important for me to say that as the health teacher okay so um i want to see if somebody says yes because i haven't heard this i haven't heard you can hum a pillow uh linda bell crandall who's a former nurse's aide widow mother and animal lover says like i said to the last one

that asked a similar question the real question is i'm so tired of this question how can you breathe without a brain oh my god linda turn it down turn it she's trying to find out she's pregnant right now by asking Cora. Let's see. This is Hilmar Zonneveld who says, please do some reading on the topic of human reproduction. The Wikipedia

might be a good place to start. And that's I mean, first Linda, then Hilmar. I would feel so roasted if I had put this thing up here. Someone's jokingly saying, absolutely. You must be very careful to use protection. Make sure the pillow is always covered by a well-fitting pillowcase, particularly

when dealing with the feather pillow. Everyone knows the feather pillow or filled with duck down, the resulting pregnancy will see you delivering four to ten eggs, not scrambled, which will have to carefully incubate

over many days until blah, blah, blah. I wonder if there's a way that could happen. What if you jacked off onto a pillow and there was cum all over it and then the girl hummed it?

Yeah, this is what in medieval castles they recommend to chastely get your daughter pregnant. She would hum a pillow that was covered in seed that had been fertilized with seed but at the same time duck down in the pillow that's kind of like the pillow ducking you down

i was gonna say i'm trying to get ducked down dude this is like a cool thing we can start spreading among young women getting ducked down getting ducked down by that curly dick let's not buy a dog buy a yum fluffy pillow because ducks got weird dicks yeah no ducks are Do not allow ducks in your community. Do not allow them. They are criminals. They're menaces. They're like a young suburban boy looking for crime.

They're expressing antisocial behavior. Oh, yeah. And so no one thinks you can get pregnant this way, it seems like, unless you were to cover that thing in some freaking cum. The question isn't, like, would it be easy to get pregnant? The question is, could someone? Could you? And I think we've answered it, which is that, yes, you could.

You can get pregnant anyway. This is like pretty much the same question as like, can you break your hymen horseback riding? Yeah. And the answer is yes. I don't know. Yeah, maybe. If you cover it with semen first. Yeah, exactly.

You're getting it. All right. Here's another one. What do you usually say when somebody, sorry, what do you usually say to somebody who grabs your balls? Now, I had this question originally under the MD question. It is. Oh, it's not. No, we're in romance now.

Right. But I thought like this is probably more romantic than it is. Sure. I did think that originally when I first thought was that it was malicious. Yeah. Maybe it's in a nice way. Killing spree. Killing spree.

I'm grabbing your balls. Your sperms are dead. So somebody who grabs your balls, it could be something you've asked for. It could be a random improvisation of amorous intent. It could be an enemy taking you by the scruff and telling you that's enough. Sure. Like a mother cat picking up their young. I think we've got to go to the forums for this.

There's too many answers that are on the table right now. Grab is just an intense word, I think. Yeah. I feel like if it's a nice way, you're not going to say grab. No, otherwise you could say fondle. Fondle, that's a nice word. Or hoist. Hoist.

You know, like a pirate's flag. Kind of confusing, but yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't pick hoist. Fondle we like. There's no wrong answer. We love fondle. yeah we love fondle um so the top answer this is by anonymous it says well well going anonymous for this one who wrote this one anonymous oh the you know the legion the hacker you can imagine

them wearing the mask because they answer this okay so i have this co-worker female who was right next to me oh no she has a habit for grabbing my balls no that no no that's not real no it's anonymous is saying it was she does it without warning she says when she feels like it she reaches out and pets my genitals sometimes she gives them a small and gentle squeeze i've gotten used to this now so i'm okay with her randomly reaching for my balls at penis i don't know like the first time you were like whoa and then after that you're like she just does this that's what she does i'm just trying to get through the goddamn work week everyone you know nancy wednesdays she's going for him whenever she squeezes a bit too hard i

just smack her breasts what this is not true this is all you this is your fantasy you have anonymous for this one this is his alt quora women at work be careful the weird guy at your job is writing this about you on quora and he's gonna smack your titty i just smack her breasts and let me tell you they bounce like a crazy and crazy this is important to know for research reasons that's italicized but 100 italics and then in parentheses at the end of the post she was brawless every day and then a backwards winking emoji a wink so sinister it's typed the other way all right well that's and so that's what happens if your balls get grabbed at work um any other answers here this one sucks oh okay um i'm a straight male so that will reflect what

i say depending on who is doing the grabbing which is okay so we are going to do in as a straight male episode at some point yes not today though not today this is just one freak accident come across from dennis manning he says number one if they are male and doing it to cause harm I punch and yell, get off me, punk. If they're male and try to arouse me, I say, sorry, my gait doesn't swing that way. Then I leave. My gait doesn't swing that way. Sorry, my gait doesn't swing that way.

Oh, you must be confused about my gait. You thought my gait was gay. Unless you're trying to scare me, you punk. And then they learn that you're not giving into their advances. They try to scare you. They try to scare you while they're down there. If it's a male trying to cause harm, I say, get off me, punk. If it's a male trying to arouse me, I say, get me off, punk.

If they're female and are causing harm, I say, sorry, I didn't realize you were a ball buster like my ex. This is what you say to people? If they are female and ugly. How many times has this happened to you, female and ugly? I say, respect the boundaries of my body because I'm not interested. If they're female and hot and are trying to arouse me, I say, hey, baby. Hey, baby. ow get off me it hurts when you do that there's 50 comments on just this i want to see if everyone's

like great answer uh top one is you got that right no the top one is if a dude touches my balls i'm going to rip his head off and shit down his neck everyone is so scared of dudes grabbing your balls hey quora i'm not being mean and crazy i'm being realistic now if it's a woman who fondles me and wants to fuck me hey go for it if she ugly well i turn off the lights come on women you would do the same if you were horny and he was ugly you go for that light switch come on women and the top comment on that is fucking brilliant first of all if you're watching this on youtube make sure to ring that light switch fucking brilliant bloody brilliant that's from joe kano i must have oh what's his description

i play a mean guitar many decades as a guitarist joe kano's a rock and roller baby he's gonna shit down your neck baby he's so fucking cool he's gonna rip your head off um i'm trying to see if there's any posting a lot about trump i see yeah he doesn't like responses there. Trump's always trying to grab his balls. Someone asked, what would you do if you got on a train or bus and no one was wearing a face mask, and how would you know

if they were all exempt? He says, I would get off shaking my head! Three exclamation points. Anyway. That guy's so fucking cool, dude. I'm pretending this is Joe Cano to be clear.

this is like something he would he would do so fast alright that's all of Quora Romance let's do Hisquorical Teachings this is a good one welcome to Hisquorical Teachings

it's like history but it's on Quora it's called Hisquorical Teachings do you need me to spell it out for you? you know how it works why are you yelling at us? they're just really an excuse to play sounds okay this question was emailed to me and the question is what advantages did the germans

have during nazi rule any thoughts alex um did the germans have during nazi rule yeah so everyone's always like nazis they sucked yeah but no one ever thinks about what advantages did the germans what advantages did the german the pros and i assume you're not talking about like the germans who were being like put in jail no they're not they're not including the all of the germans who were we're talking about like the the germans who like the nazis took power and you're like it's just thursday for me pal yeah hey just got a new house for free yeah i just uh purchased a jar of butter because that's the kind of time it is in the past um and i i think um it's that i don't know the lines were shorter because everyone else was at war

in jail i don't know died so the answer that this gives this guy gives this is a very weird little space this is um this guy's own space where only he can post and it has 4 000 followers and it's called one place that's a pretty good following and um the the category is every category of content is covered parentheses except adult content and adult has a little star in it yeah it's not that kind of play you're looking for two place but basically this guy just he has a spot where he could post anything he wants and it's almost always like a weird edgy thing And it's always about Nazis. Basically.

Anyway, so what advantages did Germans have? A question he asked and then answered. His big argument is basically that you can have a lot of sex if you're in the Nazi, if you're a Nazi. But you can have a lot of sex all the time. He says, if you're young and considered genetically attractive, they breed healthy Aryan girls. Aryan girls who fit any type of man. What? Blonde and blue-eyed to the front of the line.

It's free. No strings attached sex. I have never heard this. There is this comment that I loved that someone says, I met a man several years ago who lived in Germany during the war. His job was to have sex and impregnate women. I was always jealous of that job. I was always jealous of that job.

I have this friend who is a literal Nazi, and I was like, damn, dude, you got it made. He was kind of the great villain of history. I just love Cora emailing me like, hey, you ever consider maybe that it was like the Nazi rule was good for some people? People like the Nazis? You ever think their balls ached because they were so empty all the time? I noticed that you were kind of anti-Nazi all the time. And have you ever considered that they had a lot of sex? That they fucked?

Yeah. That they were fucking each other pretty hard? There was pretty much like no guesting every week for the Nazis back then. Yeah. Because they were going raw dog, I'm saying. I don't know if that got across. Yeah, they were like us. Yeah, I don't know if that, like, this question is not really answered by the answer in there.

But also, nice. that's crazy i see what other questions i would love to see some sources on that because i've never heard that before he's just like everything he does is so dark like he has like there's this question why can't we be too careful and he's keep in mind these are questions this man is asking himself i think it is right it must be he's only he's the only one who posts on here i think so yeah why can't we be too careful and then he's like this one guy's face melted off and he has a photo of it yeah you want to know what it's like to not be careful try putting fire on your mouth what are some true stories or stories that touch you and he's got this photo

of like people making out in a car a young man who took his grandma to the hospital to handle to covet 19 complains in the hospital parking lot and the grandma was queuing to wait so she died she dies and then he tried to uh he tried to revive her through breathing assistance from his mouth as it turns out take these pictures love and affection are much stronger than even the most dangerous diseases what is why what is this i don't know i do think this is important for our research of the website of quora on the whole is like half of the website is just this half of it is just like deranged nazis it's just like what's a nice thing to do for your mom it's like the grainiest photo is like one time a terrorist was interrogated by our police force

it's like what what is happening here if your grandmother has covet 19 you can kiss her back to life that's the news for the day oh there's a photo of somebody's brain getting fingered under the question was still the biggest secret in the human body it's that you can finger the brain the pedial gland is one of the biggest secrets that is hidden from us uh apparently it uh i don't know what to think about this it's our third eye it's pineapple shaped and pea-sized what's a pineapple shape it's just like yeah it's like um an oval pineapple shape is like uh Gerald's head from Hey Arnold. Anyway, this guy's name is

Gaurav Gupta. So if you want to learn more about his space, go to... It says he works for Quora. I don't know if that's true. I think he's gone pro. Should we follow OnePlace-1? No, don't follow OnePlace-1. I hate OnePlace-1.

It is terrible. I was trying to... Do you want to know his three tricks in life? It's not like we it even post here what are the three best tricks of life number one always carry a pen with you especially when traveling okay number two when you see an animal cross the road make it a point to stop look and wait number three kill everyone you've ever met who crosses you now use your foot to prevent your phone from falling if you knock it over but never try this with the nokia 3310 because you can seriously injure yourself wow that's stranger than the joke example you said

That is stranger. That's very strange. As you gather with family, discuss common scams and life hacks that you know but don't. What? If a guest or host asks you if you'd like to eat any leftover food they've made at home, always say yes. Answer the door with a coat. If it's someone you like, you can just say they just got home. If it's someone you don't like, you can say you were leaving.

These are more than three life hacks. I think if I answered my door with a coat, everyone would be very confused. it would be the first time they've seen me i'd have to be like i'm going to a funeral now he's wearing a suit jacket in the photo yeah that's important to understand all right well that's enough well i feel disturbed by that uh let's do let's do so let's end on something good here okay um just go right to quora gone wild here let's go wild right we'll save those other ones. Those are going to be gold later. Let's go. You're

listening to Quaragon Wild. Sorry, I broke my guitar. Quaragon Wild. That's right. Quaragon Wild. It's our animal facts like a tiger and a bear. Oh, my.

Here's a question for you. If you were at the zoo, you could read these. Why don't we drink the milk of a female blue whale and become extremely strong? Why don't we drink the milk of a female blue whale? This feels like something you would do in an anime. Yeah, well, I mean, becoming extremely strong

is very popular in anime. That would be such a good villain origin story that someone became extremely strong because he drinks only the milk of a female blue whale. Because they were gone off that milk. They went sicko mode off that whale milk. He's drinking

so much whale milk. he keeps getting stronger jeremy is anyone stronger than a whale no absolutely not absolutely they're the largest animal right they're so big um and big big equals strength um and so the answer of why not i think is because it's hard to get yeah and that's the only reason you can't like scientists know that if you had female blue whale milk that we'd all become super soldiers right this is like part of like there's a there's fluoride in the water and yeah milk is cow's milk and not a blue whale's milk no if it was we would become we'd become gods um but according to the people of quora they say it's not true james keppel says blue whale milk if

available would not make us strong will make us fat cow's milk contains on average 3.3 percent fat whale milk contains about 10 times that amount fat does let's go yo because whales need to be Fat is all hell. Whales all have to be like the kingpin, essentially. They have body image goals of being the kingpin, wearing that ring on their pinky. It's so cold in the ocean. And sometimes, like, if a shark bites you,

you just want to shrug that off with your big, fat body. How would you describe the kingpin? Okay, so we got bald and fat out of the way, right? What's the next word you would use to describe him? Power. Power. Power. Powerful.

Power man. Both physically and financially. so how you can't deny that if that guy probably drank a bunch of blue whale milk or something like oh yeah it's like the kingpin yeah he seems like he's like i would expect every scene with him to start with like a tall glass of vanessa give me my whale milk that's his girlfriend's name right it's gotten warm i have to kill spider man say hi to the podcast he always wants to kill all the best guys and it's like you're not gonna do it don't do that man we don't care how much whale milk you drink you sorry yeah i forgot that he's in daredevil not spider-man he kills

spider-man he'd like also attack spider he doesn't in other stuff because in marvel like they all just live in new york city dude they're all just make trying to make it in this big crazy city they're just grinding mics all right bye crime mics crime mics you hear about this you hear about this you hear about this i'm robbing a bank i have a gun i have a gun and i have a mask on and My name is, like, the tickler. I'm the tickler. Yeah. What were we talking about?

The milk? Oh, yeah. So imagine the kingpin drinking. If Spider-Man actually did stand-up comedy, and he is a kind of a comedic guy because he tells little jokes when he stops crying. Yeah, he's so funny. And if he decided to start doing stand-up,

I would give him two months before he's on stage, like, all right, look, I'm Spider-Man. Can you just fucking put me on shows already? He's doing, like, those really passive-aggressive Facebook posts that are like, I know we have to let David Letterman set people get on every lineup, but some of us have stopped Mysterio. This next comedian, he's been all over New York.

He plays every club in college. He stopped Mysterio. Give it up for my friend Spider-Man. Yeah, Spider-Man. Give it up for my friend Spider-Man. So I see this is more of a Venom crowd. A lot of Venom heads in here. A lot of Venom heads in here.

and then instead of water again was he got on stage he's got whale's milk because he has to become extremely strong he's so powerful he's a great guy uh what can we learn more about whales in this no we can't oh there's only one answer there's one other answer that looks like it's written by like fucking ai and i don't know it needs improvement it does though look how long it is whales are marine mammals and there's hyperlinks for all of it you know honestly like you talk too much about whales dog that's why we're never gonna read your response wait hold on actually i do want to read this response all right we'll make an exception this one time because we feel bad for you just after just shortly after birth the mother begins to feed

her child milk from her nipple since the child is unable to hunt for its own food it's like why are you writing this pause when the female whale lactates the thickness of the whale's milk can vary greatly huh the thick milk is often referred to as having a toothpaste like consistency well this guy sounds like someone who's always sucking off a whale honestly yeah he didn't look this up he just knows it's like toothpaste it's like toothpaste you can brush your teeth with it it keeps me big it keeps me strong like the kingpin that is genuinely vile to imagine though drinking milk that is that is like toothpaste apparently has 10 times the fat of cow's milk so i bet that would be what bothers you are you triggered is this what upsets you by the whale

milk discussion oh too much discussion of sucking off a whale titty and grow up become powerful become powerful like the kingpin um and the answer we don't do it because it would not make you powerful make you a big fat guy which is i think equivalent to power yeah depending on who you are that's kind of been all we've talked about today so i am forced to agree by consensus you simply are um now i have a question for you alex yeah what would you like to ask on quora.com that's a great question um let's do a milk question yeah we gotta go with milk we gotta go with how about this what is the most okay 100 italian if you drink italian breast milk oh that might be too stupid i don't know what about just like what is the most powerful type

of milk okay that's good that's good right because that's like i mean somebody's gonna try to seriously answer it and then other people will just be like what what the fuck do you mean because they got to be mean to you all the time what is the most powerful type of milk you can drink and send send that and uh put that in our milk and our dairy products and i'm sure that will be answered um when we do our next episode in 20 minutes any minute now well that's gonna to be it for us this week jeremy where can our listeners find you at quarators the podcast where we learn what quora is also come to our live show fucking live show it's gonna be so cool we can't lose face in front of the hot nyc bookers you know how like when you're listening to the

podcast and we ask a question and we say something really dumb and you're like i know the answer to this i know which milk is most you can come to our live show and shout it out and shout it out And then we'll probably talk to you. We don't regret saying this into a microphone. You can shout it out and interrupt us the whole show. Come to the show if that's what it takes. All right. Goodbye.