Quorators - Catholicism

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: I'm Catholic and I have a Muslim girlfriend. Can my girlfriend cheat on me? Atheists, lets say you went fishing. Suddenly, you caught a Christian baby on your fishing hook. There is a shark swimming towards the baby to eat it. Would you save the Christian baby? Do people in Egypt have sex? ----- Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators  Check out Jeremy's new website at https://dibsnext.com 

All right, we're live. So they can learn. Live on Twitch, live on stream. People write in, they ask me, will these white boys ever learn? And then they watch Jeremy close and reopen Audacity so he gets all the sound. Oh yeah, that's got to be in the podcast. Keep that in. This is Quarators.

Quarators Don't touch that dial. You've got Quarators on. The show where two guys read Quora and they're your hosts, Alex and Jeremy. I'm Jeremy. And I'm Alex. We're surrounded by cats, but they're not on film.

You'll just have to trust us that they're here. Thank you for coming back another week. This is Quarators 3, Season 3, a new beginning. That's right. It's a crisp new start at America's Favorite Show. Should we each get the Chance the Rapper 3 hat? Rapper 3 hat? Chance the Rapper.

You know how he had a 3 thing going for a while? He had the hat that had a 3 on it. I've never heard of this before. All right, well, you know what? This is the rapper. Chance the Rapper? Chance the Rapper had the number 3. He had a hat that had a 3 on it.

listen this is not worth discussing this long this will definitely get cut out if you are supporting the show thank you again for chipping in we have recently been fired for truth for exposing so many realities online yes that's right if you are a regular listener of the show we are in dire need of financial assistance and just for five dollars a month you can help a boy like this wow and also you in return get a double the episode also you're paying for a product and you get a thing and i think it's better than this sometimes yeah sometimes it's twice as good also jeremy is worse okay so jeremy you said um without steroids without hgh that your parents put you on you would have been five foot two yes now if your mother wasn't receiving five dollars a month from

her patrons would she have been able to grow you up into such a tall bean well i guess the answer is no the answer is no so okay here's my promise to you if we get to 2 000 patrons i will grow to seven feet whoa that's gonna be a big show that's my promise i hope that happens of course it'd be tough to frame the camera we're gonna have to scale up for one um if you are listening to the show and you are not in a place where you can financially support quaraders tell a friend tell a tell a lover about it tell a whisper in a lover's ear next time you come this reminds me of quora yeah go right after you come go that's enough which is one of our famous sounds from the podcast coordinators go up to your lover's ear and go oh baby and you know what that's a tip

for bed these and these are all uh important can i also say real quick today's monday uh big announcement on my end if you missed the satire stylings of one jeremy kathowitz i started a new satire website with my friend phil jameson it's called dibs next.com go to that goodbye wow i didn't realize that was gonna be up so fast you guys you boys were quick it's it was not up right now but it will be when this comes out that's really impressive hopefully i found out about it an hour ago or i fucked up it's very impressive the things you do maybe i'll have to cut this if you're a man listening thinking i want to be important like jeremy keep listening because we are desperate for new listeners and we're attracting them with our new segment tips for men

this week's tip for men you gotta pay off your full credit card at the end of the month that's just true because if you get if you go to the end of the month and even if you owe a small amount of money these companies hit you up for more money later and then that's free money for them yeah don't do that and in the eternal struggle between men and machine you're letting the machine win when you don't pay off the full value of your sum at the end of the month and that's this week's tip for men that's basically the matrix which is another word that andrew tate says a lot which is he's the king of tips for the cobra he's the cobra and we're kind of like two rattlesnakes two guarded snakes call me mongoose mike nope that's for next week that's for

the that's for thursday's episode don't listen to that but you can call me well this week is actually it was really exciting we had a hell of a lineup we had jeremy hammond from the generation lost pod was supposed to come on until he said he's friends with a baby or something so he bailed like two minutes before we were going to start so uh he got to pick the theme quarry season three We have themes. This week's theme is Catholicism. He picked this theme? He did pick the theme.

But we can enjoy it without him. When he comes on next week, we're going to have to do another theme? Yeah, we're going to have a new theme called Throwing Jeremy Down a Well. But it's him and not you. And by then, we'll have 2,000 patrons. You'll be seven feet tall. I'll be so tall, dude.

You're going to be in charge of throwing him. I'll be too tall. But we can have fun with Catholicism. You're famously on the verge of converting. Yeah, so I think this is going to be an interesting episode for me because I think by the end I will decide if I will convert to Catholicism. There's some strong arguments for and against that we're going to come across on Quora.

Before we get into that, we should review last week's question. I'm having a hard time. I'm still figuring out because Season 3 is so new. It feels like adapting to my new body after you switch bodies. Are the levels good, Rob? Oh, he's not here. Oh, we're all alone. I guess we'll never know.

Although, now that we're back in a different power outlet, we can have the mics turned all the way up. Yeah, and also Rob didn't check the levels. No, all he did was watch and jack off over there. It was so sad. Yeah, he would just jack off in the corner. And they'd pay him to do it. Yeah, I don't know.

I think it helped. I can't deny the success we had. Now, what was our question last week, Jeremy? I was recently fired for truth. Is there any legal recourse I can take? Okay. i am expecting a lot of lawyers forming up on this one gary rocco says not in the untruth age we have been living in for over a century bam he worked at hyundai yeah brandon says probably not

most states are employment at will states and one of these states you may be fired for any reason for no reason at all unless you were fired for any legal reason unless your truth was legally protected, such as in the case of whistleblowing, the termination would be legal. If you were not fired for good cause, you were likely to be eligible for unemployment. Were we whistleblowers? I was about to ask

if we were whistleblowing. So what qualifies as whistleblowing if we were revealing dark truths? Because we were doing that. We did do that a lot. We were doing that. We should be protected by the Constitution. So if we're getting the Chelsea Manning treatment, we're no longer fired, but we are in solitary confinement for five years.

Are we like Edward Snowden? Have we been like sent to uh hide at your apartment um i'm trying to crack government here sure where are we edward snowed in are okay that was also what i thought of first because it's chilly out there even just kidding it's really warm no but in actually did when this comes out it's gonna be like a polar vortex so it's gonna be colder than ever before so then you're edward snowed in um i've almost said sped word snowed in i don't think that makes sense i think he's in special education but it doesn't apply to us this is the main thing you could say here's a really weird uh a nice comment from ken parnell who's a former retired mechanical

engineer at retired he says i find that hard to believe shut the fuck up ken part i was waiting for more of the statement that was the whole thing yeah knock us down a peg comment from from florence who says ken the world is an unbeliever place florence i'm clapping i'm clapping like a seal this episode i'm gonna say believe it ken oh do believe it and then do hyphen naruto okay not ken you have to take the ken out he never says ken he's ken naruto doesn't have any president ken they're all named like believe it hyphen naruto yeah and then jiraiya divya says are you interested in solar yeah i'm interested in solar you're gonna say yeah i would say hell yeah put the word hell in there it's it's appropriate for the episode because it's the

christian catholic episode bedward snowden if he's in bed it doesn't apply to us still anyway Anyway, I think we were whistleblowing, and they will be hearing from our lawyers and the government as well. That's right. But in the meantime, I suppose it's time to go to our theme, which this week is Catholicism. So we will be starting with our religion segment, which is, of course... Forbidden fruit. I haven't read any of these chorus. Nope, that's not real.

Jesus Christ. it's just we're just starting and i'm hitting the cop sound like what's my fucking problem it's in the same place every week don't mock you're gonna change your tune by the end of this what's our first question jeremy it is i'm catholic and i have a muslim girlfriend can my girlfriend cheat on me i did not expect that to be the end of that sentence i did not i don't know why well it's a it's a question you ask regardless of faith but once okay so we we know this it's wrong to cheat on a man of the lord that's right that's right so i don't think a muslim girlfriend would do that

but could she could she do it and i think choice is one of god's greatest gifts okay and so regardless of your faith it may be her right to cheat on you sure a woman's choice to choose to cheat on her catholic on her catholic boyfriend is probably named like anthony scabano or something some bullshit anthony scabano he can cheat cheat on me i got myself one of these muslim girlfriends i picked her up at the mall how quickly we're like oh oh i got an idea long island boys long island boy it's a show from long island um yeah i don't know yeah she can't she can cheat on you i guess i've i've looked at one of these answers and that is exactly what they're saying david craw who studied at boston latin

school we have david cross at home she quote can in the english language meaning that she has the ability to oh homie the following is my understanding which may be incorrect if she is an excellent serious muslim she will convince you to seriously convert and then marry you if she is merely a good muslim she will abandon you for another good muslim if you do not convert and she stays with you then she is an embarrassment to and dishonors her family that may put her and you in harm's way and that's big money so according to david cry you must convert david craw was a lot funnier in the earlier seasons of arrested developer i always love this joke about how much he hates george brush george bruh george bruh he's doing an allure war

It's just becoming Meatwad No bleh for all It's just Meatwad Doing David Cross bits It's Meatwad as a 2002 stand up comedian Shut the fuck up you stupid baby I voted for Bush

I can't do anything He has so many good voices David Cross He does David Cross It's really impressive David Cross going off Wow, he looks very different than David Cross. He does, doesn't he? I don't know.

I wonder if he's Muslim. He lives in Jerusalem. He's answering a lot of questions about the Jewish race on there. Yeah, I don't want to read any of those. But those are Quora questions, and it's his right to answer them. Were there any other answers on whether my girlfriend's going to cheat on me? Speak to your girlfriend and agree to some rules within your relationship. If she feels that she does not want to be monogamous,

then you know that she will have other boyfriends too. In my opinion, culture can be a strong thing in relationships and should never be underestimated. Rule one, never betray me. You are part and parcel to my life in the church. I think, you know, we're two married men. Have you ever, and I assume you have, when you get married, you do a blood pact. You take your hand and you take a ritualistic knife and you cut it and you clasp hands with your wife and you say, You shall never betray me.

never betrayed me and that i don't care how muslim you are that's the rule yeah i mean you know i think um judaism uh christianity and uh islam all come from the same religion abrahamic and they all uh they all adhere to blood truth they all adhere to blood truth i was about to say it myself i think we could all agree on that and so the answer is yes she can but we hope she doesn't And it has nothing to do with her religion, but maybe it does. I still am thinking about the guy who is like, there's three options here. If she's good, she'll leave you. Number one, my fist hitting your face.

Number two, your face hitting the floor. Yeah. Okay, that's enough of that question, I think. Oh, hello, Mr. Waffles. The cat's back. I think he's still getting cut off by the- Producer Waffles. No, he was in there a little bit.

I'm so sick of Waffles today. Yeah, Producer Waffles and Alex have been in a bit of a fight because Producer Waffles has decided to start the prep for the podcast every single day at 5 in the morning. At 5 in the morning, and then I start my prep for the podcast shortly after as we are both up now, I guess. What time are you going to bed? I don't know.

Not the correct one. All right. I think I'm like, I'm a night owl. I wake up at 5, I guess, every day now because the moon is just right or something. um uh he also has a um studied practice of looking directly at me while knocking things on the floor that i don't love and that happens around now so we'll see if that comes up this episode hey waffles you want to join the show come on we're talking about god you want to hear

the good word is waffles uh christian he's jewish okay jewish cat uh here's a question That's why he wears that little hat. That's kind of fun to imagine, isn't it? He's got a little clip on it. It has the New York Mets logo. He's a short-haired cat. It's not easy to keep up. But he believes deeply in his Jewish faith.

He believes deeply in his Jewish faith, and he's always tunneling. He's always tunneling. Let's do the next question here. Let's focus on the Bible. Mathematically and not magically, How did Jesus feed 4,000 to 5,000 people with two fishes and five to seven loaves of bread? Now, you're going to want to make this magical.

Sure. You're going to want to say by- No, it's by math. Duplicating them to the light and powers of the Lord. This feels- You would have to give everybody such a small serving. This feels like the kind of video script Cracked is trying to get me to write.

You could use this. You could bring this to them. We used math to ruin Jesus. There's no way he fed this many people. He calls himself King of the Jews. Welcome to Cracked. Hung to death on a tree. Your Lord and Savior, the Lamb.

Arose three days later. We counted the moons. It was three. Oh, man. And where is Moon Knight in all of this? Well, there's a little bit of an Easter egg because Moon Knight is Jewish. Crossover. Crossover event.

I love that Moon Knight is Jewish. When that show came out, there were all these people who were like, Moon Knight's not Jewish enough in this show. And I was like, he's friends with Thor. What the fuck do you want him to do? Who has religion in the Marvel movies? It's crazy. It's silly.

It's like, how much of Moon Knight is him going to temple or whatever? I think in the comic, a decent chunk. I don't know. every third page a lot of people are like there's not enough jewish representation in hollywood or something and i'm just like look around that's one of my top issues also oscar isaac is one of the most important jewish actors and that he was in uh inside lewin davis anyway mathematically how did jesus do all that oh yeah he'd have to cut it up really small yeah that's true he's cutting it up he's giving everybody he's giving like um you know what those little the

doing like eucharist sized servings of fish and also the fish have to be fucking huge they're two really fucking big fish and he ground them into like a tuna fish and he gave everybody one spoonful that's the answer i don't even think they could get a whole spoonful honestly here's the thing i'm concerned about in the bible it says jesus fed four to five thousand people with two fishes and five to seven it said jesus ate on this one did it say in the bible that all the five thousand And people said, mmm, yummy, I'm so full now. Oh, I couldn't have another bite. No, it didn't.

Because they didn't say that. They said, I would like more, please. And Jesus said, there is no more. See. Fuck you. Sometimes you go on rants like this where I think, like, I don't know if he knows the text. Because I wouldn't be surprised if you read the passage and it was like, and there was much rubbing of the navel and patting and belching and rejoicing of our fish. We can find it.

I don't think we should. I don't think we should. the cat is just mad dogging me over here now it's pissing me off waffles get over here uh i asked him to pass me gun yesterday and he did it he passed me my gum i think the gun at first hey he did pass me my gun and i took care of some enemies but after that he passed me the gum that was around him that he was batting around the floor um anthony zarela says if you're asking how could this work with if there was no miracle then the answer is simple it couldn't and you know it you know it you knew point is that

there it was a miracle i'm here online with christmas noobs on quora.com it's pointless to read the gospels and ask about whether jesus could have cunningly crafted sandals that made him extremely buoyant uh correct or whether there is some microbe in judean soil that could heal some form of other congenital blindness if you don't believe in the possibilities of miracles then you don't believe in the possibility of god in which case the gospels are worthless fiction so why bother faith and science are 100 compatible he's taking dogmatic physicalism are not anthony zarello is a top catholic name by the way can i say that catholic yeah he's like the pope pretty much he looks like uh uh well i was gonna name somebody who's not famous so instead

um he looks like a drawing like a stick figure drawing of a boy bad news anthony zarella's um bio says fair warning if you send me a hi message without having had any prior contact i will assume you were either trying to sell me something or catfish me and i will report you for spam okay Don't message Anthony Zarella. Can I message? No, I just said don't do it. Just say, I message. Leave him alone.

He's a conservative Catholic. Look at all these rules he has. He's got a lot of rules. I'm not sure we're going to be able to pass this to many tests. No. Yeah, I like that he took him to school about the Bible real quick. Yeah, he's like a Trump guy for whatever reason. I can't imagine.

Based on everything about this gentleman. Okay, what about other people? Do other people believe in the mystery of our Father? By making sure the two fishes in the five to seven loaves don't remain that many, but become much more when broken. That's what I said. That's pretty cool. That's a good answer.

That's right. That's fact. No, everyone else is just saying the same thing. It's just like, he didn't, you fucking jerk. This portion of the Bible is fact. Well, the Holy Bible did not say how big the fish was or how large or long was the bread. jc's religious seminar was given a quarter pound of fish and two slices of bread each

5 000 of them would consume 1250 pounds of fish and 10 000 slices of bread the largest catfish caught on record was about 800 pounds so technically just two big fish would do you got roasted by you really can't recover from something like that this is somebody who went on Quorra to get destroyed. You got fucking owned. Don't come ask about how the Lord doesn't serve it.

That goes on to talk about the different fucking bread records. There's all kinds of bread records. There you go. We're not going to talk about them on the show. They're boring. They're not like the catfish record. Yeah, the catfish is... Could you imagine a 900 pound catfish? That's disgusting.

Is catfish even a good food to eat? That's a big po' boy. Isn't that like kind of a nasty fish to eat? I don't know. It gets your whisker wet. Oh, here's a good question. Let's move on to something we care about. Finally.

Atheists, let's say you went fishing. Suddenly, you caught a Christian baby on your fishing hook. There is a shark swimming towards the baby to eat it. Would you save the Christian baby? No. I would. I would save it from the shark. I wouldn't.

I will say the baby is not asking me to do anything in this question. Why does it have the baby in the ocean? Well, I'm using him as bait. See, it does sound like that is the way you catch a shark, a godless shark. I do it because of my Jewish religion forces me to use Christian babies as bait to catch sharks. This is one of the many problems I raise to waffles on a regular basis. This is a core tenet of my Jewish faith, which I am a member of. I don't know how the baby got in there.

I don't want it. i don't i don't like like legally where i'm at sure at the start of the question atheists let's say you went fishing first of all fuck you that's what alex says go to hell and you're a piece of shit but my question i guess is like what am i gonna do for this baby reel it in because i'm not gonna jump in the water yeah you gotta reel him in i mean you've got a hook in his little fucking baby face right if is it just on his onesie or something it's not it's not like in a bad no i think it's in his cheek all right well hey i'm sorry to this baby that i put in a saw trap there's a key inside of you you must renounce your atheism the key is called the soul it opens

up your word to the lord i will say i give the baby credit this question for not asking me to renounce my atheism yeah that is good this baby really just wants to not be eaten by a shark yeah we don't even know if it's christian that's not even really relevant to the question Let's do the answer safe. Okay, so I go fishing and hook some dead baby some Christian didn't take care of. There's a shark swimming towards the likely half-rotten corpse. So I would just reel in what's left of the body

and let the police sort out the lazy Christian parents. Hey, officer, if you check the shark, I think you'll find that baby was dead sometime before that. I like the idea of the police officers cuffing the shark and be like, all right, get this bozo to prison. Get your fins in the cab. You're done. That's enough Christian babies for you, idiot.

Hey, bozo. That's basically the plot of Jaws. I haven't seen it in a while, so I'm going to have to take you on your word on that one. Yeah, well, go watch it. Okay, sure. Check out Jaws. Check out Steven Spielberg's Jaws.

We're going to need a bigger television to enjoy Jaws. i agree with that so that's i think that's all the religious questions we keep the word of the lord with us every day this infernal baby and throw it to the shark wait we have no more catholic questions no i mean they're all catholic but i mean like this is the end of the religion segment there's no such thing as a christian baby we all we there are there are i'm sick of talking about it stop saying that everybody's so excited that there's a christian baby whenever we posted on the internet and it's like yeah they've been here yeah that's true i like this answer from robert sepping he says no the shark needs to eat it would be very unchristian

to interfere with that and this christian baby chose to swim and chose to interfere with my fishing that's not one of the christian rules take this as a note if you're measuring this one that's not one of the christian rules i thought that this was a photo of paul giamatti at first but it's just that's robert sepping it's robert sepping quora commenter robert sydney australia Huh. Yeah, that's right. He's Australian. Boom.

Onar, this shark is eating a baby. Grow up. He says he's had 15 cats. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that is pretty cool. That's a lot of cats. We're going to go to our medical segment, QuoraMD. Health and wellness.

Welcome to QuoraMD. These are the questions of the day. Will you find love at the hospital? with the Pope the sultry man of God Alex has been in a big singing mood

today. I'm feeling it. The spirit's moving me, Jeremy Alright. The spirit could soon move you. I hope so. I'm excited to convert at the end of this You're here live on the baptism cam Cora doesn't want to read this one for some reason. Cora's a son of a bitch sometimes

when i'm searching for these it'll like show me a list of questions and then it will like refresh itself and be like there actually are no questions with those words you searched this one for some reason will not let me oh now it's coming in all right whatever who cares all right there's the question okay be cool okay all right okay what does it mean when a nun in a catholic hospital tells you that your newborn baby is quote not of god now this is not what you want to happen that no no no everybody wants to just have a healthy baby um that's true what is a catholic hospital are those real i guess you can go to like saint mary's or whatever i thought those were just like what do they do that makes them catholic oh no they tell your babe they tell

your baby is the devil spawned well i guess if your baby is not of god you got to go ahead and get rid of that thing i think when i was a child my parents compared me every now and then unfavorably to damien from the omen movies they compared you unfavorably they were like you're far less handsome than they were like you remind me of damien from the movies the omen where damien is the devil what would you do that reminds you reminded them of damien me yeah i can't imagine what sweet little jeremy would you call to dogs who obeyed your every command one of my teachers did kill themselves for me that would probably do it i thought that would be my first this is for you jeremy you rock jeremy keep rocking and then she jumped off of the school she ate a gun none

of this is real anyway i just feel like i have to say that because i don't want to get a bunch of comments that are like did jeremy kill someone jeremy's lying about murder jeremy killed someone in this he needs to be reborn through the church um question if jeremy killed someone why is he not in prison put it on quora anyway the question is what does it mean when a nun and a catholic priest catholic hospital tells you that your newborn baby is not of god david johnson says that's they're an asshole i'm gonna cut it so this was really good oh you cannot recover from that what is that i don't know i can't believe it Look, it's after lunch.

Don't police my voices. I'm sorry. My voices, they could be anything and anybody. As long as my Muslim girlfriend doesn't cheat on me. I'm from Massapequa. Oh, no. It's Haram. You got to go down Merrick Boulevard.

It's not. I've got a Muslim girlfriend. It's not Haram to do that. It's not Halal. No. Go Islanders. patty amato says regardless of what she meant by that the comment is weird and inappropriate you should not have had to hear well uh something like that about your newborn child was that a nun

a nurse at the hospital or just some random nun visiting the hospital that makes a difference um i think whenever a nun talks to me i'm getting rid of the baby it doesn't matter what they say get rid of it throw it out with the bath water the holy bath water you know something i think is interesting uh i feel like people what is it my child yeah i feel like people keep someone was talking about corridors recently being like you should listen to quarters as many are and they were telling each other they're telling their friends who don't know and they're leaving itunes reviews that are five stars one of my friends twitch streamed it was phil and he mentioned corridors and one of the list one of his which people was like quora will never be as good as

yahoo answers which you know what i don't know i don't know if quora is as funny as not yahoo answers but yahoo answers like every question was like i aided my dog and then is my dad my mommy and then like at least this is like someone asking an insane question real question i like that it's an insane question and then people writing essays that are like hmm interesting question it was inappropriate i don't think it's okay for a doctor to say that your child is the son of satan the devil they didn't say that what they said was that the child was not of god which is inappropriate and weird say what you will it's weird jade sparrow i feel like we've interacted with before says it means she's not of god go ahead and slam on the jade sparrow button let's pull jade sparrow

up are we following her no but now we are 200 followers for jade no bio on her no bio knows about earth parentheses planet oh shit i wish it was me um yeah she just kind of does like one word answers is it okay to never be satisfied by life not unless you're mick what i don't like that is she talking about irish people i don't like where she's talking about the slur for i'm gonna tell you the name jade sparrow is carrying all of the goodwill i have towards this woman at the moment Yeah, I assume that she is like Captain Jade Sparrow. Where has the church wine gone? All right, well, that's enough of Jade.

That's enough of her. That's enough. That's enough. Here's a great medical question. What if I wear a diaper at school? Okay, so I had a bunch of questions about uniforms. One was just why do I like uniforms, but they got into real uniform policy discussions.

i'm not trying to have but if you go to catholic school and they make you wear a uniform and so my question is what if i wear a diaper at school and this is a catholic question because of course that relates to the uniform the uniforms instead of well i guess i guess it's not a uniform in this case because you're just doing it um was a diaper a part of your uniform at catholic school it wasn't jeremy it wasn't okay it was actually expressly forbidden by the manual really school is it true well yeah because any clothes that weren't the uniform were forbidden but it was underneath i think it's for the best if we break the question down into uh what if i wear a diaper at a uniform school what if i wear a diaper at a public school okay at a public school people

might think you're somewhat of a fat uh fashion maven right are you talking about you're talking under your clothes though oh no i was talking about like on top or just one just a diaper at public school you would not be allowed to wear at my school they would get very upset about it when i was a boy they would not let you wear shorts that were more than four inches off of your knee or whatever the fuck there was a rule about like how for boys for girls usually yeah because girls are girls are crazy they say it's distracting for the boys they say kick that hair animals these boys they're gonna come to school in a diaper they want to jump on you because of that diaper trust me i know because of that i see the way your body looks um i'm an adult

the adults see the way your body looks and they're making rules anyway uh the child the diaper thing and you're a child and they're an adult uh the diaper thing inappropriate and weird when i went to high school i made up rules all the time like i decided and freshman year i was just like thursdays are pajama thursdays and then for the next four years i wore pajamas to school every thursday what and so and i was like come on everybody join in and then like a few of my friends like did it a couple times but i did it for four years every thursday okay but but hold on first of all extremely alex patak bit to do uh second of all i thought you said you had a uniform that was a middle school journey oh so i've seen both sides of the table and i see how

each would react to a diapered situation but you went to catholic high school catholic middle school oh so you went to public high school public high school oh it's all oh right jma thursday it's all coming together is this making sense it's all coming here because i know you see what i'm trying to tell you with your wife so i know that you guys that's true we weren't separated by gender my wife was a catholic school high school student yeah you were poaching them yeah we were You're picking prospects. We would show up, me and the other Jews, and we'd be like, show us the Catholic girls. If you're not watching the video, he is money-grubbing Hanson.

I am doing that. I'm doing the hands. He is washing the hands to steal the Gentile women. We'll throw that in the comments. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. But anyway, so let's discuss the differences. I think that you can pull it off as a fashion move at a public school.

at a uniform school it's no matter how you do it it's outside of the uniform i think the one way you could get away with it you put it under the clothes everybody hears it swishing around you go sorry i always shit myself sure and so it's a question can i okay what if i what if i i don't know i think it depends on your group of friends we do also know that there is a diaper wearing fetish community on quora is that related to this i hope not have you read the comment yet no okay i haven't read them timothy holt says i would agree with kyle if it's not who's kyle if it's not medically necessary then don't i feel like whenever we're on quora it feels like we're stumbling into someone else's conversation i don't feel like i'm even supposed to be seeing

this well you're not because it is actually locked behind quora plus i agree with jeremy Wearing diapers to school at any age is social suicide. And believe me, I was teased throughout my grade in the high school years over something I had no control over. And the best way to protect my clothing, and that's all I can say. If you wear a diaper to school, you probably couldn't even sell pussy on a troop train.

I was just thinking of a thing to say before I hit the cash button, but remember that? Diaper Talk is a fucking group, Aguora. so this is definitely fetish related wait so can a can a group comment oh my god i hate this uh can can a group comment on a specific question this is just gonna be the diaper talk episode now we clicked on diaper talk i hate this diaper talk.core.com the phone the main post is a the top post is an adult wearing a diaper it's a photograph what is what's on diaper talk it's it's people talking about diapers talking is fine i don't want to see any pictures of diapers

sleepovers embarrassing stories this is from sleepovers yeah i don't know what to tell you man from princess a yeah she's a fucking diaper fetish person what are the questions on diaper talk can you send me a picture of your diaper okay how can i wear a diaper overnight and still keep my ability to control peeing at night okay that's diaper talk what's the diaper you would recommend i'm wearing rears at the moment but i'm wondering if you think there's something better because i've only worn rears in some type of medical diaper so i thought i should probably try something different to see if i like it better okay all those questions by the way are from one guy so how much urine can kroger overnight pull-ups absorb without leaking no answer on that

one do you want to be the first to answer it uh sure i'll say probably a ton all right yeah setting that in all right great that's all diaper talk uh let's see what else is going on princess a today starts my first full calendar year in diapers since like 85 or 86 oh yeah approximately the time i got potty trained sometimes i wonder what took me so long and i remember i was so nervous about wearing and using in public like with anything else once you do it a few times it's not a big deal and william commented on that and william says potty trained or potty untrained that's funny william uh you may be the silent generation but there's no need to be silent on the diaper talk sub quora chime in about your diaper i think oscar's

answering questions oh okay so he's the diaper expert hello everybody actual question how would you hide wearing a diaper to school aren't they all actual questions so they acknowledge like hey most of this forum is a bunch of horse shit but i don't like this guy who's going around answering how to wear diapers to school that seems fucked up i think there's it's funny that like a few of people out here are like actual geriatrics who are like it's not so bad it's all right and then other people are like could you pee on me when i'm wearing one here's a good question what do you think of the name pippa ramsey hepworth for a baby love it why is that no no it's why is that on diaper talk guess who goes in a diaper babies you know what though actually somebody who comes

on here is like diaper talk that's probably about babies is so much more normal and what He's so pretty. He actually is. And then so many people will be like, I don't know about that baby name, but I just pissed myself, and it felt so good. Uh-oh, I've been soiled. Okay, we got to, wait, hold on.

Before we leave, we got a good graph here. Oscar says, good news, folks. My friend Christopher Lamb got the ECC College North Campus in New York to implement diapers slash pull-ups that everyone can wear because of various advantages they offer. and then it says toilet wastes liters of water diaper absorbs liters of water oh baby toilet hard and cold diaper soft and warm toilet boring white design diaper lots of colorful cute designs

toilet needs licensed plumber to install diaper super easy to install yourself and then finally toilet touches 100s of germy asses diaper touches no ass but your own so that's actually a bunch of really compelling reasons to wear a diaper over a toilet i think and then he says and i'm gonna say this on the podcast and apologies if this is not an okay thing for me to say if you go to 6205 main street williams williamsville new york 1420 221 go inside the ecc college north campus and look inside room 104 you'll understand what i'm talking about and that is from this year so don't worry it is relevant information this is a problem two weeks ago there's plenty of time to go to that campus and see what we're talking about is it like okay to say that on the podcast

it's on the forum it's a public forum it's diaper talk this is our catholicism episode i i blowed way i just all right shout out to christopher lamb shout out to christopher lamb and shout out to the lamb jesus christ the prince of peace christopher's lamb is an uh a contributor to my diapers adult diapers pads or tampon lovers pedo catching which i don't know what that is nor do i wish to click it is it wait cashing or catching catching like to catch it says i find an exposed creeps to ruin their lives but this is also a guy who is on a that's christopher lamb it's christopher lamb go to his room where you can see him in a diaper you'll know what i mean i don't know i i just what is in this room i'm not gonna be able to move on this was not what

the episode was about this wasn't diaper week on quarators it was catholic we were gonna talk about the bloody pope with jeremy bloody hammond so you get two jeremy's from long island in the same chat and double our pleasure i don't even know what to say what can you do let's spend the rest of the rest of bus ride in silence all right look at that floor think about think about what they could have done better think about diaper talk think about the things you've seen on diaper talk i i don't know a lot of these are about names for a baby which i think is almost sweet It's comical, the misdirection there. Okay, let's get the fuck out of here and never come back.

Please, please, please, please, please. Please. No! If mothers had pouches like kangaroos to carry their babies around, what would happen? We already answered this question. You need to shut the fuck up. No, we did not answer that question. We answered what if you put a baby in a kangaroo's pouch.

We did not answer what if humans had pouches to carry their babies in. Well, it's wet inside. Yeah, I think Brian answered that. Brian from Guys. You'd have to make belly shirts so ladies could wear belly shirts and have their baby poking out of it. That's right. Or a little porthole.

Brian Quinby hopefully can come back on and answer such a question for us. We'll call him. Yeah, we'll call him up. Brian, what do you think about if a lady could have a baby in their belly but out, and he'd be like, that's a really good question. I actually know a guy's about that. We did it, guys. Look, just to tie this back in for our episode,

the question was, can I wear a diaper at school? No, it was not. What if I wear a diaper at school? And I think the answer is, you're in trouble, Pat. You're in trouble. No matter how you shake it. Jason Smith says, I'm 19 and have no bladder control. I had a tutor instead of going to school because of my diaper.

When I was 13, Mom decided to see if public school was right for me. Thinking of public schools made my heart sink. Like, I cried and told my mom I was scared and nervous. She assured me it was only a trial run. A month before school, we went to a store that I could try on clothes with a diaper on. I don't want to read this anymore. It's too long.

They're making it sound sad, but you're also a big boy crying in a diaper. All right, I'm just going to... You're going to have to leave the house eventually, little chick. Russell says they don't have to go to a dirty bathroom. Just unload your poop into your diaper. Thank you. If you have to wear a diaper for a medical reason,

like, no disrespect. but if you're doing it specifically because of a fetish get off of the internet and also don't do that you already get all the pleasures of wearing a diaper what else do you want i will say we didn't run into too many fetish people this time the last time we read this kind of question every single answer was like oh i've been such a bad boy i need a spanking who's in trouble the stork dropped me um okay let's let's go on to the quiz course oh yes here we go it's the quiz course the politics segment of the show there are no sacred cows in this diaper you may forget this is the catholic episode not the diaper episode you won't be speaking of diapers

again i'm going to found my own church where we follow the rules and morals of our prophet donald trump does this make you wokies hurt and angry inside now jeremy you're pretty woke yeah how do you feel reading that i feel hurt and angry inside okay so it does so mad this is a church this is a donald trump church i hope they all have to do the voice it's gonna be so expensive to make a big gold church like that i just hope they all have to do the donald trump was i think that would be a fun that they like train you at the uh seminary to talk like donald trump and god said to me it was a great deal this is every week you come back for that i guess you do that by tuning into this podcast but imagine if it's like do it though if it's

like church for you i would hope that this podcast is like church for you yeah every monday and every thursday i sign up for the patreon makes you see the lord um it's the new york post episode this week on Quarriors Plus, so check that out. Pretty big. Those are big, folks. Now imagine, again, it's like somebody talking like that, but better, and it's your church. Yeah, I'm pretty woke

and fucking hurt and angry about it. I guess my question is not to be all woke-y about it. Yeah. I don't like the word woke-y for some reason. Yeah, it's like wookie. My life's better. That's my character

Wokey And then in parentheses it's like Say his name Believe women It's Chewbacca Doing his growl in parentheses It says believe women If you're in line stay in line

Han Solo's like I don't know about that Chewbacca You're going a bit too far for me I don't know I like your Han Solo voice yeah i have my i have my solo hon i have freaking that solo i shoot you with my blaster man um what what morals or rules does donald trump have because like not to go full

wokey on this guy's here we go like does he believe anything here comes the morality police the most excited i've ever seen donald trump is when he talks about how much he hates sharks Is this a church about sharks? Yeah. Well, I imagine that's part of the church, right? I just mean, like, what is your morals for Donald Trump? Because I don't think he seems to care about anything. Jeremy, you're being woke again.

Am I being too cynical about Donald Trump? You're going to scare away Han Solo, who's a faithful moderate who listens to the show. I like Donald Trump. I did the Kessel Run at 15 by our sex. java you know i'm good for it java java are you gonna vote blue no man java's java's gonna vote blue no matter who kind of guy he's a big hillary person he was a big biden guy he complains about bernie bros online uh boobers are so sick of them han solo is just a libertarian yeah absolutely He lives on a ship, which is a houseboat.

He was a never-Trumper, and he was going to vote for a Ron Paul guy in 2012. Would you agree if you live on the Millennium Falcon, you essentially live in a houseboat? Yes. Okay. I would agree. I think that wraps this question up pretty nicely. Are the answers good? Yeah, someone posted a picture of poop.

Come on! So you're pretty mad then, huh? Aren't you, Wokey? Wokey. okay it's not as good as our han solo is this meant to be in here this yes it's part of the quiz course okay do people in egypt have sex now as we'll all remember pharaoh kept the jews enslaved for hundreds of years and if they hadn't escaped they wouldn't have later been able to produce Jesus Christ

the greatest Jew who ever lived the goat of goat of Jews I hope they update who do you like better Jesus or Muhammad that's the classic LeBron Michael Jordan debate what's your body count Jesus

anyway so yeah this is about Egypt he's got a huge body count people are always eating his body yeah they're eating his body oh yeah what's the body count it's my body twice once in the three days later. That's when I hit you in the face. And then once you're in your face,

it's the floor. That was this episode, I think. I think so. 50-50. I couldn't tell you. So do people in Egypt have sex? That's a great question. What is this in response to?

Is it Wokies? It's probably Wokies. I can find out the... Chewie, not now. I'm nailing Cleopatra. that's of course i went back in time this is our famous quote a character harrison ford but he's not that he's different he's a different what if he was different and this has too many answers what are you looking at right now i was trying to find the question asker oh it was by anonymous

fuck you fuck you coward coward show yourself why are you just disparaging the names of egyptians Reveal yourself. So do people in Egypt have sex? From what I hear, they do it Egyptian style. Oh, yeah, they love to do it. Yeah, fuck like an Egyptian or that song. They do that thing where they point their hands forward and back and they kind of jab them.

If I know anything about Egyptians, it's from the TV show Yu-Gi-Oh. So I imagine when they do fuck, they turn into like cool or ancient versions of themselves and then they go to town on each other's parts. Right, they play trap cards sexually. Yeah, you've activated my genitals. That's what they say. I chose to wear a diaper to school.

There are no little penises in my grandfather's body. It's kind of confusing. Let's go to the answers here. I want to hear the answers, please. Devin says, never. They procreate by pitting hippos and crocodiles against each other in sudden death matches. Oh, Devin. This is too funny.

I'm not going to read the rest of his answer because it's just too hilarious. It is more about the hippo. Mahmoud says, apart from all the sarcasm, they do like any other people on earth. This is my favorite attitude that Quora users have sometimes where they're like,

I see your patently ridiculous question and I will give you a full answer. It has to be within an approved marriage, otherwise it's considered illegal. If you're Egyptian, hotels won't give you a room for two, male and female, without a marriage certificate.

Is this true? this is five years ago i don't think this is a guy a corridor his flair is native egyptian it's a very long answer um maybe this is just like a sensitive topic in egypt and we've just stumbled onto it joanna the desert rose says seriously i'm an egyptian my parents must have had sex to have me why are you making egyptians out to be a different species or not even human beings since all human beings have sexual reproduction and pleasure then it's fair to say that egyptians like every person on earth do have sex this is what i'm saying this is what makes quora different maybe better than yahoo answers which is that someone asks a dumb question

and then there's so many people show up to be like very interesting let me lay out to you why it is true that gorillas are a type of animal when you cross the desert rose you do get the thorns she's from new york we must have her on i'm a published writer and artist from new york cool i have a rare disorder that only affects one to two percent of the population i struggle with it but it does not define me please do not message me regarding my regarding my disorder i won't discuss it what is it i hate to be like this what is it why'd you put it in your bio we gotta know i have an extremely rare disorder do not message me about it do not contact me about my werewolfism i don't like to discuss my werewolfism yeah all right fair enough fine

fucking we're not we're not even gonna talk to you desert rose you desert rose most recent comment is saying that she is pro-palestine so i i cheers to you hey joanna you are not defined by tell us what your disability is i must know that's not me i'm not saying that i think you rock i think you rock uh joanna all right that's enough of that question anyway yeah so the answer is yes but it's not legal. Let's do Forbidden Knowledge. Let's rock it! Whoa! Forbidden Knowledge.

Forbidden Knowledge. Forbidden Knowledge. Forbidden Knowledge. Forbidden Knowledge. I need help getting rid of black magic done to me. Can you please help? My life depends on it. I'm not a bad person. This was done by some very evil

people so there are some bad people in catholicism and they're called protestants so i think it's safe to assume that's who's done this black magic i think that's true i i there's no way to know like based on the information we've been given so far at the start of the question but um we know evil magic has been done to them and uh i i think through the word of the bible the the best you can do is turn to god can i just say real quick i do think i want to encourage more people on quora to include the phrase i'm not a bad person in their question i don't care what the question is what if i wear a diaper to school i'm not a bad not a bad who would win in a fight master chief or the arbiter i'm not a bad person it's already it's funny you say that because i

feel like it's in more posts than any other platform yeah no i think i am not a bad person It comes up every week, almost. Am I a good person? Irrelevant question. What was that one from last week? It was like, my boyfriend is not a bad person, but he is going to cheat on me or something? I don't fucking know. What, last week?

That's like a year ago. Yeah, I regret asking that immediately. I don't remember what I said in the beginning of this episode. It was, what would Han Solo sound like? I'm not a bad person. Joe Biden. If he was pulling the lever for Joe Biden, what would... What would Han Solo sound like?

For Joe Biden? I don't think he would. I can't even imagine. I'm not going to pull this lever. We're just becoming the Patton Oswalt bit. Patton Oswalt has that famous joke about what if Nick Nolte was Han Solo, and I feel like we're turning into his bit somehow. Who's Nick Nolte?

They're a ride. Oh, yeah. Anyway, this fucking magic person. Go to fucking church, you bitch. Could you please help me? You dumb bitch. What do you think did it? Protestants, that's the question?

Yeah, I think Martin Luther did it. Frank Hobbin says, Our Lord Jesus continues to heal the sick and cast out demons. Greater is he in me than in the world. Believe on you, Jesus, and get to a good Pentecostal church for guidance and deliverance. Jesus loves you. Amen.

Amen. P.S. Pastor Billy Burke is on YouTube, and he regularly has healing miracle services and casts out demons through the power of Jesus and the working of the Holy Spirit. Look up Pastor Billy Burke. Uh-huh, honey.

I love the plug section of that post. Any plugs? And now I'm done promoting Jesus. Check out YouTube. Go to YouTube, Billy Burke. Check out Billy Burke. He's going to tell you how to get rid of spells. Holly Hartwick says,

Nothing has been done to you. It's all in your imagination. Your life doesn't depend on it. You haven't been cursed. And even if someone told you, have any effects you think uh you see are are nothing more than a placebo effect and confirmation bias find a counselor who can help you through these fears you're having because they're quite irrational and not at all healthy for your well-being fuck you holly shut up placebo effect

and confirmation bias i'd like to see your doctorate please yeah shut up there are spells spells are real they've been cast on me by protestants who have forsaken the pope lie number one spells don't work they do work that's not this week either though that's from a long time ago um does anybody have any practical tips on this fucking spell situation or what no no one does other than horseshit jesus i think you should get black magic and use it on the other guy that's my advice yeah you gotta turn it on them find who's doing this to you in black magic their fucking ass yeah they like it out outdo them at their own start a war the only answer is more the only answer is more bloodshed or you can go to church maybe for once in your life if you're

not too good i think that's true okay next question if you have killed me what will you do with me in real life i like this one because it's phrased kind of like what are you gonna do to me what would you do to me if you killed me i love this top answer i'm very good at this says you go directly to the nearest hog slash pig farm and then they posted a giant photo of an emoji that It was spoilered for some reason. It's the iPhone one with the pig that turns your face into a pig. It's got two heart eyes, and it's grinning. Yeah, it was censored for our pleasure,

and then we clicked it, and a pig with heart eyes popped out. Now, Ron Parsons says, feed you to the pigs, then let the chickens clean up whatever is left. Where is everyone getting on this pigs page? Han Solo, is that you? Chewbacca, what are you doing? you look like you're hopping in the wrong hay bear chewbacca chewbacca you get your grito ass over here stop hanging out with java i don't think he has a grito ass no but he doesn't like grito

oh oh somebody says love up someone says hide the body question mark so the question can we read the question one more time if you have me if you have killed me what will you do with me in real life. I thought this related to Catholicism. I will let you allow you to go into the kingdom of heaven. Doubting Thomas had to put his very finger into Jesus' stigmata.

That's true. Or he had killed him, but what would he do with him in real life now that he's back from the dead three days later? I don't know. How are you feeling towards the end of this episode? Do you think you're going to convert?

Me? Yeah. I mean, it seems like, but I don't know why I wouldn't. it's getting pretty good i like this christian stuff your muslim girlfriend can cheat on you she can cheat on me i can also poop in a diaper right um what else did we learn uh we did that han solo thing i don't remember how that came up specifically uh no it was just chewbacca i don't know who

care oh wokies that's what it was oh yeah these fucking wokies um so i think uh we what we're learning from this uh what would you do if you'd killed me thing is that people would feed you two pigs yeah jesus also oh wait what this question was asked by i wish be food in real life oh that's the full name i wish be food in real life if no one less just be mean as be bully i quit this site i done mean people here i going find some where else is i wish be food in real life 21 hours ago can i be your meal for lunch or dinner go ahead and slam the fall thursday thursday they asked can you feed me to wild hogs so this is what they want that's what they want they want to be fed to wild dogs well guess what who can take me to the

zoo so i can be eaten up right now this is the weirdest fetish we've ever run into i'm gonna feed him to hogs honestly so what would you do if i want to go in the stomach in real life can i be your food what kind of food can i be to you i love this what you do if i want to be a chicken if you want to be a chicken what you do if i want to be a chicken it's like what that mouth do but that mouth do if i want to be a chicken if i want to be a chicken will you chew me will you chew me up would you chew me would you swallow my ass but would you chew me um we got one more question here okay okay this is we've saved the best for last i don't remember what it was oh yeah i also don't remember if it's the best this is just a normal question this is like

something a pastor wrote and was like i'm so fucking good let's just let's just answer the question slowly masturbating and just being like i'm so fucking lyrical he's getting lyrical with it this question is if jesus is the bread of life how do we feast on his word oh so it's a riddle then i say they'd masturbate anything because i just have this distinct memory of listening to louis ck go on mark maron's podcast and explain that when he wrote horse and pete there's like one crucial fight scene that they have where they like cry while arguing and he explained that he thought it was so good that he couldn't help but masturbate while writing it and i remember just being like this is how do you do that this is before he was canceled i remember just being like

this man is deranged he's going to jail this man is deranged i remember mark maron just being like oh yeah that's weird louis oh yeah that's relatable sometimes you gotta do that because you're typing and you're thinking i only need one hand i mean realistically louis dk said that he jacked off while writing and mark maron was probably just like why are you more famous than me yeah all right come on thanks for coming on we good uh but anyway how do we feast on his word if jesus is the bread of life i think we do it by snarfing down i think we do it by going all Over town Telling them about the

Word of the Lord I think we know About the word of the Lord I'm the backup singer And the word of the Lord is the king And the word of the Lord Is the king It is kind of a normal Christian question

I had a lot of those and I deleted them The first one I deleted was Is Pope Francis Catholic? Which I liked But then got very political in the comments in a way where I was like that's not really what we're trying to go with it but it is a funny question people have

long answers for this anyway yeah but let's not read the answers but um you just revel you relish in it you relish in that word if Jesus is the bread of life how do we feast on his word with a little bit of spreadable butter I'd say

we go to patreon.com slash quarators where we sign up for a regular bonus episode every month and we help our friends alex and jeremy who have recently been fired for living and feasting on the word of the lord for revealing the lord's secrets this has been the catholic episode wouldn't it have been fun if that guy who wanted to talk about that came on um do you want to do a question yes what should i do if my friend keeps trying to convert me to catholicism oh yeah you should ask that have

we asked that before no okay i am interested to see if that's already a quora question anything similar coming up no okay well good we'll finally find out and um if you want to comment on that please write scrambled eggs i'm gonna bring the holy water with me just so we can get that out of the way for patreon go to my new website dibs next.com dibs next.com patreon.com slash quaraders slam a dad subscribe button on the youtube page we love youtube shout out to youtube we love youtube and we love you ring that bell listener and ring the bell you can say that now that we're in the church bell in the church bell and we give you a kiss a long kiss good night bye-bye