Quorators - Creatures of Note w/ Kurt Braunohler

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Can you kill and eat mermaids? What kinds of beings can battle directly with demons? No one answered my question about dark crystals. Is Quora broken? --- Check out Kurt's podcast @ https://www.bananaspodcast.com/ Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

um well now that that is all squared away i believe i'm going to dance to the theme song and then the show will have begun and podcast with the sound of the robot you're back again in the core raiders podcast live on the internet this thursday february 12th well you don't need to say what we're recording Yeah, why are you dating it? Star date. It's not. It doesn't come out today.

20, 26. Again, Quarrior's Weather Report. Cold, but better. Even better than last time I said that, and I know I said it was warming up then. It's quite warm out there. It was really cold then. It's been a bit of a snap here,

but I don't want to let that get me down. All the co-hosts are here. We have Alex and Jeremy and Claire. What's up? Hello. Is it warm in LA, Claire? Uh, yeah, duh. There we go.

Weather report. Complete again. Duh degrees. It's duh.com over in Los Angeles. We have a very special guest today, all the way from the Bananas podcast. You know him and love him. It's Kurt Braunohler. Kurt?

Oh, hello. Hello. It is. It's better. It's cold, but better. I agree. I agree 100%. Better is such an important indicator when it's-

Still awful? Suicidal tendencies temperature For a month straight It was so bad It was so so bad I've just been making mistakes in my life Because it's so cold outside What was the mistake?

Usually pizza based mistakes It's like I'm having acid reflux But I'm back with the pepperoni Damn I don't care about tomorrow We really picked the wrong winter To move back east Really picked the wrong one

it's been like climate change winter for years too everybody keeps fucking telling me it's been california normally yeah it's been bakersfield every winter until this year it's crazy i've never seen uh like chunks of ice in the river before and i'm seeing pictures of people taking pictures of the chunks in the ice i think it got so cold that like like they started shutting down boats because it was too frozen over. That's crazy. That's crazy because it's like a lot of salt water there. Waiter, there's

chunks in my ice. It's extremely day after tomorrow outside. The Statue of Liberty's head is rolling down Times Square. I hate it when that happens. It's way too big. Can't get anywhere because the head's in the road. Yeah. When will Zoran fix the head? It's been

one month. The head's in the road. I think that's what Sharia law is. Because he's Muslim, the Statue of Liberty's head fell. They're not allowed to see the head. It falls off. Well, folks, if you are new to the show or not, we're going to read Quora.com, which is like Reddit,

but it's also Facebook, and that's what you need to know going into it. We have a very exciting theme for you this week. Well, Kurt, have you been on Quora before we get into that? Do you know about this website at all? Yes, I know what Quora is. Okay, cool. i love all the questions and i love that most of the answers are written by people with who are as intelligent as the person asking the question

many of them are level playing field yes it's a duelist's paradise yes um yeah i don't know if you ever chop it up on here but even if you just visit once they'll try to get your email and then most people's common experience with quora is for some reason they have my email and they send you quora updates every day have you ever seen the movie duel by ridley scott have you ever seen that movie i just saw that recently it's about two guys in like the middle ages who they have this like horrible duel where they almost kill each other and then throughout the rest of their lives they just keep seeing each other and they're immediately like we

got a tool again yeah bro and that's how it is it really made me think of like being online like i feel like i know people on twitter who are like that where every time they see each other they're like we're gonna do it's on site with front yeah exactly with legolas's stash or whatever stupid online name somebody has anyway sorry we introduced this thing well i think this has been a fine segue in that uh the dualist nature of man is key to the animal itself and so this week we are exploring animals real and imagined in our theme creatures of note we're gonna start with our space of the week kurt if you haven't been on quora every week for some reason and some kind of

curse that you're living out um that the spaces are pretty much subreddits it's where they gather specific kinds of questions and every week we like to start with our space of the week space of the week that's right uh this space we have is crypto zoology it's very small it only has 130 followers but it it is uh i really like their logo which is a big scary cat no it's a heckin wolf isn't it i don't i don't know zoom and enhance it's some sort of black inspect element jeremy with and it says we love monsters which i really like it's got i would think that there would be more than 129 followers to this because it does seem like cryptozoology would suggest a lot of questions that you have about the world and this seems like an area that people

would really have a lot of answers that aren't vetted by any science you know so it seems like it should be a bigger thing all right thank you you're following it we just made it 130 all right now i'm happy juice this let's get these numbers going first of all we love monsters spoken like somebody who's not around monsters that i know i gotta say a bit of a fair weather monster lover from a safe distance i enjoy cats or wolf some sort of black animal with red eyes Pretty scary. Let's look at their questions because they're really fun. I guess just to elaborate on what Kurt was saying,

this is important to understand. It's just the website's very poorly organized. It's a bad website. So there are many questions about cryptozoology, but the space itself, this is a pretty niche one. It's only got six contributors. It's made by this guy, Craig Knowles. Yeah, I mean, this is classic Craig Knowles, if you know him.

This is Beyonce's cousin, I believe. Craig. who is a writer author editor and thinker who lives in bloody songs about the sass so what's when craig writes so when craig writes writer and author what does craig think he's doing what does he want to specify there it does say that his job is content writer at top 100 website So I guess he sort of sees his book writing, his authoring as his art, but his top 100 website, that's just work. Writing is content and authoring is art. I understand.

Okay, great. He has a plaque in his office for top 100 website. We don't know what that website is, but it's definitely one of the top 100 of them. Maybe it's Amazon. I think it could be. It's funny to say in 2026 too when there's like four websites. you know i'm on the top 100 websites no i think i think the website is called top 100 website that's what i think and it's just the top 100 of things maybe you're right top gear

it's just not a link it's not a link this website is not a link it's just an idea i'm looking up top 100 website i mean it's not googleable but oh it's not google is trying to top 100 website if it's not googleable i don't think it's a website i will hit the english i really really like his profile picture which is a thought bubble thinking of a light bulb a light bulb it's not quite either one it's a cloud inventing light he doesn't have an idea but he's considering having one he's a writer he's an author he's thinking he's light bulb he's gonna pick a light i think that actually means he's thinking of a light bulb that doesn't mean that's what it is it doesn't signify an idea that is what his thought

is it is an off light bulb too it's not on and only want one thing and it's off light bulb a dim light bulb this is kind of a perfect image for quora yes yeah yeah thinking of a light bulb that's off craig also his his most recent question from two years ago this is the only one we could see from the top is what is the clearest ufo so far yes that's his answer he has a thing about ufos do you want to hit the anglo spotted i would like to hit anglo spotted that's awesome spotted him you're you're way off it's that anglo spotted it's anglo spotted it's not mortal combat he's british we have a button for when we see a british person and it's anglo spotted they like it we hear that they like it a lot yeah they all really love it and they definitely

definitely don't find it at all it's a bit naughty uh some of the questions on cryptozoology what is the story of the 1924 bigfoot battle at ape canyon i wish there was an answer to this there's gotta be an answer to this someday i mean there's no answer wow that definitely seems like he's like i know i can't wait to answer my question does anybody want to ask me what i mean can i say though what a great place for a bigfoot battle ape canyon oh perfect that's where i'd want to have it what are the odds also what do you think what came first maybe it was just where they had the bigfoot battle they're like well that's ape canyon we're gonna see a bunch of apes fighting each other and you're like well exactly it used to be called grape canyon but

Then after the Bigfoot battle. I was going to say it's an away game and that's usually where the apes fight. So it was notable to have the Bigfoot there one time. It's really interesting also because I didn't even know Bigfoots would fight each other because it seems like there's so few of them that they would all just be trying to survive and not ever be seen, right? Like, they got to put a lot of time and effort into never, ever, ever really being seen in person. Mm-hmm.

That's a, that's, you got to work together to do that, right? I understand what you mean. Together, Bigfoot strong. Yes. I think, I do think maybe it moves for entertainment purposes. Like, there, you know, a lot of places around the world where people are just sort of fighting and watching. Play grab ass? Well, we, there's no answer.

We don't know. I mean, the Bigfoot battle could have been one Bigfoot against, like, 50 humans. And he was just batting them away in Ape Canyon. Right, that's true. This needs an answer. Acting like Bigfoot and Ape Can. Yeah. Could you just at least comment and say...

There's two. So there are another version of this question. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's up? No, I'm just so excited. This does have answers on it. It's just not in the space. Ah.

But this guy, David Cardy, who's a truck driver, said Bigfoot was winning until Nessie came in and took him out. So I think this is a joke. Well, he also typed it while driving a truck. Yeah, that's fair. It's fair. supposedly a group of miners had to fight off a bigfoot all night amazing what overindulgence in moonshine can do to people so you don't believe the miners you're saying believe miners well look at don don comes in it was bullshit they were under stress it's like don don don

we don't need your energy here in the cryptozoology quora forum all right we need to just believe okay because if so if you're gonna be a dick about it get the fuck out of here this guy's also a driver by the way it's big they're all driving driving community they're driving and answering community is all operating heavy machinery those are the guys who see the most cryptids i would say i bet because they're driving late nights you see the most they're seeing they're seeing it all sure lizards the red lot lizard do you guys remember that person who wrote about being a lot lizard in like the early 2000s and it was like really really famous and everybody read the book do you remember this and a thousand little pieces was it no no that was a different guy

that but it was like this it was a very similar thing and the whole thing was that he or she would make um uh squirrel penis necklace because there was a bone that they said there was a bone in the squirrel penis and they would make squirrel penis now when they would sell them and everything and then it all came out that it was just bullshit it was just completely invented it was a person who had never like been in a truck or worked as a lot lizard never even seen anybody know what i'm talking about i do not know i've heard i've heard of this i didn't realize yes it turns out it was a total fake bullshit made up thing lady just lived in brooklyn that's crazy ken then why just not right to say it's fiction yeah why not make yeah exactly there's because she got a lot of

attention there's actually some people love a city liar i do love the idea though of a trucker like reading it and being like this isn't how we do that that's not right um i would like to draw our attention to the related questions sidebar which are very much fixated on what native americans think of bigfoot which is two things i've never jammed together in my brain at the same time i mean but when you think about it it made sense i got some questions too because he's been around yeah unless he has a godzilla origin story where he was somehow augmented by radiation testing yeah it was all about the new and he was like a raccoon before and also he's like a metaphor for trauma world war ii he's all the men we lost

uh there i would like to quick what do native americans think bigfoot is is he real or a myth to them this one yes i know we're pretty far off the space but yeah i think sasquatch is is the native american you know i mean obviously to paint with a broad brush because there's many different do you mean sasquatch i do mean sasquatch it says it on the page i'm reading the page it's a part of their oral tradition uh okay so he's like uh he's like elijah to them they leave a chair open for sasquatch sure oh sure why not that is what's interesting about bigfoot and sasquatch is like they're even though it's like a monster it's cryptid all that shit they are always kind of represented as being one with nature and chill and like kind of cool does it do you guys get

that feeling too they aren't there aren't a lot of like sasquatch attack stories right it's more just like we saw them and they were like eating grass yeah there's none of you know it took my son Sasquatch came and he rendered from me a token. Yeah. You don't talk about the grizzly man. We talked about the grizzly man documentary. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Every week we talk about it. There should be a version of it where a guy is obsessed with hanging out with Bigfoot until Bigfoot just eats him. Everyone is like, you shouldn't. It's a mistake. He's a dangerous man. You don't know what he's like. He's too big.

I love it where the part of the documentary where he's just listening to the audio of them getting killed and he's like it is too much we cannot let this be heard so we just silently watch him listen to someone being killed and then you never hear the audio do you know what I'm talking about in that movie

no one should ever hear this no one should ever see this I always think about the ending where he every week this comes up we do talk about it a lot about Chris LeVan there's maybe one culprit in the room who brings up

no no Should we get the official record out from La Huxlea? To most of us, Sasquatch is a part of our oral tradition. I believe without question they are real. I know family members who have seen or heard them multiple times. Multiple times. Some natives may think it is a myth or just don't know what to think. In my tribe, there are stories and songs dedicated to them

to remind us that they are out there and need Earth just as we do. Go wedding now! Go wedding now. Go wedding now. Didn't I tell you guys about the time I went on a Sasquatch search? Oh, yes. Kyle Kinane pilot that never came out. Yeah, it's like Vice or something.

For, I think, Comedy Central. I don't think ever. Except for, like, Jash. Remember Jash? Yeah, Jash, baby. Let's blow money. Let's blow all of Reggie Watts' money. I feel like I heard something out there.

I remember you told us on this podcast because I think we spent a long time doing Kyle Kinane talking to Bigfoot impressions. Yeah, we did, we did. So if you want to hear about that, to go into the archives. You just have to pick any baskets or whatever.

See, it's hard not to do. But it's something like, only like the women Sasquatches, the lady Sasquatches talk or something. Wait, what? Only the women talk? Only the women talk. Wow. Or like, we only know the sound

of the woman, so that's the one that we can recreate when we're calling out for them. I could be totally bullshitting listen to women's sasquatches don't listen to me listen to women's sasquatch women's sasquatches hold up half of sasquatch's sky that's right that's okay let's should we go to a different question in this space or do you want to read some of the real questions i would like to read a real question because the space that we can go back

to the space but there are a lot of crypto animals in in the prepared works so let's go right to that we are focusing today on the forbidden knowledge topic okay just real quick i know we're weaving this space but just these two i wanted to read real fast once i was in the woods and felt like I was not alone the next thing I knew I was in a wolf den slash cave what happened

I don't think anybody can answer that pal I like this question so has anyone set a standard yet for Bigfoot DNA not one

not one standard oh interesting on the space I know we just closed it but they had a glossary of terms so everyone's on the same page about what the animals are

like difference between a Bigfoot a Yeti and a Chupacabra Jersey Devil did you see the Jersey Devil over in New Jersey oh man there so there where i grew up in new jersey there used to be a uh like a park that

you could go to at during halloween and you they would do like a nighttime walk through the park which was absolutely terrifying but it was all centered around the jersey devil and someone had created uh this like 15 foot version of the jersey devil that like stood inside like the meeting hall in the middle of the like forest and it was and like it's just children who are doing this and it was fucking terrifying so scary and evil looking and then everybody was giving flashlights and like go out in the woods and it was like a surefire guarantee that no child would like going in the woods like it was a way to like like every town should have this yes convince children to not like nature nothing good happens when children go in the

woods i'm putting my foot down on this all those uh uh slender man style copycat murders happen in the woods because when kids go in the woods they start acting wrong yeah they know there's no law out there there is none um i'm gonna go to our questions here this is the first one Can you kill and eat mermaids? Mermaids are a highly contested subject on Quorum. Is that true? Yeah, there were a lot of mermaid spaces. The mermaid people, there's two angles to it.

One is it's like a female empowerment, like feminine sexuality kind of thing, where people are like, they're fish, but they're ladies. What if fish were ladies, you know, kind of thing. And then the other one is almost like an ancient Greek historical society kind of thing. So they're anti? Well, not anti, but just they want to tell you about what mermaids were like in ancient texts. And it wasn't like the most fun thing to read, which is I didn't just pick a mermaid space.

But people have a lot of opinions on mermaids on here, and I would like to read the answers. What percent of it is similar to the Bigfoot thing? Truck drivers who are spotting sirens on the road. Pulling them in like seafarers. Well, they can't be in the water, per se, as they are next to a truck. So often they take a lizard form and will eat it lots. Is there a picture blurred out here? Yeah, this is a picture.

Okay, so this is from Neil Morrison, who's also in the UK. And Neil says, you can legally kill a mermaid, but only in self-defense. I like that. I like that idea. I would love to see a sighting on that, Neil. Eating them is not advisable on account of their high levels of mercury, dioxins, polychlorinated biphenyls, et cetera, et cetera, microplastics. So they're saying basically it's fish. Pesticides as well on the mermaids.

Do not confuse the mermaid, which is a viable species that's still forced with sailors, with the merman, which went extinct in 1980. Ha, ha, ha, after a long career. Ha, ha, ha, cheeky Neil. I don't know why this is. Ethel Merman. Yeah. Oh, ha, ha, Neil. Yeah.

Neil's having fun. and Neil went and made a meme. Yeah, this is some sort of Quora original meme of a mermaid and a merman. Neil took two hours to find two photos. I think that it looks like a real mermaid photo, I think. This one? It reminds me very strongly of Xena,

the warrior princess show from the 90s in terms of hairstyle. Also, writing in from Kent, United Kingdom. How about no? You're still looking for this button? It's not important. Let's just say that was the one I wanted. Historical mermaids are the ones with very sharp teeth

and they just sort of look like fish with little heads, right? Like human heads. I'm unclear on if the mermaids are different than sirens or if sirens just are mermaids. I thought sirens are mermaids. Sirens are fuckable, or mermaids are fuckable sirens. Is that true? who i thought siren i don't want to reduce them to that there's so much more than that

you don't remember that like weird little mummified um like i feel like it was in that book of um ripley's believe it or not weird ripley's believe it or not where it's like a little uh if the if the listener what are you doing for me right now for those listening out on youtube claire is trying to i guess do an impression of sort of a little mummified mummified fish that's got little arms and big eye holes sockets big sharp teeth and then like a tail oh also you don't remember this from childhood no i think i know you're talking about claire saying it's like real life mermaid and it's just a big fish that's scary it's just a big ugly fish but then someone fucked it one time

and then like wrote a whole little short story about it and everyone was like wow they're out there and they have boobs fuck the fish one time i end up in a book can't get away with anything can't tell ripley shit become an author yeah an author mate um didn't also people think manatees were mermaids isn't that a thing that is a thing yes well but they kind of look they got those curves jeremy that's right yeah my um my buddy scotty he had a friend so this is a third-hand story but it's an amazing story that's a very safe distance from the story yes exactly um he uh went you know tubing they were like you know doing a lazy river float like down a river um and i think it was in florida and they had taken

acid and it was his first time taking acid and they were like you know floating for like eight hours or something like that and towards the middle of like the acid trip and the float like they ran in like a bunch of manatees were underneath them and everyone was like blown away and you know like the acid is is hitting it's like the connection with the oneness of the universe and everything and this guy gets out of his tube and goes over to shore where there's one that's that's not floating with the other ones he's kind of like on it like in an eddy and where it's like he can stand where the guy can stand and he goes over to and he's like i'm gonna fucking hug this manatee and uh and he goes and he puts his arms

around the manatee and starts to squeeze and then his arms just start going through and into it because it was a dead manatee that had been rotting. And then it immediately became the worst acid drip he'd ever

been on. That's so bad. Are you sure this was a story not like the worst dream someone's ever had? And it turned into my father. i would think that the a smell would sort of if it's underwater if it was under what if it's underwater it was underwater yeah it's underwater right right sorry sorry i thought i just pictured

one sort of just sitting on the shore oh no it was like in the water yeah you know good rule for what good rule for animals if there's one alone from the group not moving if you've isolated it You probably want to go ahead and not go near whatever is going on over there. There's something wrong. Wait, Kurt, have you ever seen anything funky in the ocean? You're an ocean guy. I am an ocean guy. Are you an ocean guy?

I think maybe the craziest thing, I was obsessed with the ocean. I'm a big surfer. I grew up near the ocean. And I got my diving certification when I was 12, which you're not supposed to be able to do. But I was a big guy. and then like afterwards they're like wait how old are you and i was like 12 they're like we thought you were 14 it's like too late i'm going scuba diving your brain is not ready for this

oxygen depletion so i was maybe like 16 or something and i would go my my grandma lived in florida so i would go diving in florida when i visited her and um you'd go out on a boat and And it was on a, it was on a, I was, I also was a big wreck diver. This was all as when I was a teenager, because I really thought I was going to be a marine biologist. And, and so I was diving in this, this wreck. And it was a wreck where you could go inside and kind of like swim long hallways of it. Cool. There's so many warning signs in this story.

So early. I think it's cool. No, it's actually a really beautiful story. and then i come so i'm inside this this wreck and i i'm swimming along and then i come to the the bow of the boat the front of the boat which is you know like a big imagine like triangular space and it's empty because they've taken whatever used to be in there out when they like sank it because they sank it specifically so people could scuba dive it cool um and packed in this it's it's a gigantic space right it's probably like 40 feet up 40 feet across and fort like it's just

huge and the entirety of the bow space as i swim into this room is just barracuda and like barracuda are these like long thin silver with like little kind of like grayish black lines across them from when the light catches they like shimmer and they like to hang out in like big groups big schools together and they just kind of like sit there and so i swim in and i'm all of a sudden in this room and it's i don't know like 400 barracuda just like looking at me and they have like crazy looking teeth too sharp teeth they have sharp teeth um but they you know they i don't they don't think attack humans ever i don't think um and so it was just a moment of just sitting there with like 400 Barracuda

all like slowly turning to look at me. And then like keeping my cool and like slowly backing out and like leaving. But it was like amazing. What? 400 to one. I think they should reconsider their attacking humans rule because they have the numbers there.

They could have eaten me. That was in Fish Canyon. Yeah, it could have been Fish Canyon. The Battle of Curt at Fish Canyon. I want to draw attention to the related question on the can-you-kill-and-eat mermaids. Why are mermaids bad and good? I'm sure he covers the gamut.

Why are mermaids bad and good? Mermaids are always good. They not only save mariners from drowning in the ocean, but even more importantly, stimulate the imagination of little girls and boys. So there you go. Ew.

uh my grandpa who spent too much much of his life on the sea said that he met real mermaids many times and was saved from drowning by a couple of them i met them many times when our mom wasn't around he quietly told us this wild story about how he even kissed an almost married one that's crazy men are not faithful so there's a type of mermaid i think this is from i think this is greek this is a greek mix but like there's there were these things that had like mermaid tails but but if you took away their uh like seal skin then they had legs and so there's like multiple stories of men stealing this like seal skin from them so that they could marry them and like make them raise their children and then it was like this whole battle for this woman to like

find her seal skin and like put it back on and skate back into the ocean because she's a fucking prisoner right and it's like for across multiple multiple cultures has the like similar one where it's always like a man being a piece of shit sure being like i've found a mystical yes fantasy creature and being like how can i get to raise my children god i hate my kids oh if i had some seal skin i'd be out of here be at the damn bar drinking wine sack eating grape from above eating grape in lounge chair uh go to the next question on the dock yeah it continues the theme okay here's another

just to round it out is a mermaid a real creature natural creature or a human-made unreal creature what is this question this is really good hold on your move that could be asked for any of these questions really is a mermaid a real natural creature or a human-made unreal creature did humans create mermaid why would people do that this mermaid is unreal well this is like this i mean the main reason we're talking about these creatures is because they're sailors tails right and sailors have a lot of tall tails they spend much of the time at a writer's workshop at sea what else are they doing they're becoming authors you're just sitting on deck. When you're not rowing

your long oar, you've got to come up with something. I want to see who asked this question, if I can. Go to the question log. This is our first author discovery of the day. This is by Becky... It looks like shithole, but it's not. It does look like shithole.

I feel like this is some sort of troll. Really good questions. Let me see. All of their questions are about having a lump on their testicle. Becky, what's going on, Becky? Why some white women do sexual intercourse With dogs

That's a great question Why is that No answers I don't know why white women do sexual Intercourse with dogs We could answer If you've got one if you want to help them out Claire

I don't know Write it in Claire says I don't know great she's a dark cowboy great oh my god you have so many we've done it too much um okay let's do another question that's very funny here's a question no one answered my question about dark crystals is quora broken so we don't know what their question is but it was about dark it's mostly the question is is quora broken which is something i'm asking myself all the time

well maybe like i think that's like a question that might be getting too close to the truth right if you're asking about dark crystals no one will touch it quora is like uh it hides it from from people and yet if they were in the forbidden knowledge space you know if they were asking who's that is it raven nix or uh alissa mauercloth these verified witches who we've turned to for answers over the years they could probably get an answer on dark crystals so you guys are talking about users of quora here yes has you have users of quora contacted you and been like you talked about my question or my answer we we've had some run-ins with the quora users but they are often quite hostile they don't like us we really are talking about their uh their specific things

which they feel very safe to share about on quora and then we sort of read them aloud but oh that's It's so funny that they're safe on Quora attached to their username, profile, and photograph. But if you put it on a podcast. A whole address. Where they went to school. Where they are currently employed often. Oh, man.

This user's subtitle is Father and Lover. Same big dog. Same big dog. I don't like that guy. This guy loves Trump and Genshin Impact. Does he love Trump? Does he say that? he studied at Make America Great Again.

Oh. Campaign slogan. Unless he made that. This is the guy who, maybe he's a Reagan guy. This is the guy who asked the question. So he has seven questions ever, and they're all stuff like,

I bought Ruby to attract love in my life, and it's glowing. That was nine hours ago. That was nine hours ago. Wait, shit. Wait. And then he knows about things like big, beautiful women. Father and lover.

And attractive women. And Bank of America. crystals yeah i would argue he doesn't know about crystals i think you should have to take that one off i want to read every one of his questions but yeah these are really good questions this is in order starting february 7th so what is it the 12th this is five days ago uh how do i drink enough beer to get a big round fat jiggly and giant belly what crystal is best for attracting love sex beautiful women etc i'm looking for a gift for my former wife what is a good crystal with Powerful dark energies.

Dark energies. Oh, my God. Avocado and fruit salad? Do you think it could work? Really good question, and I think it could. I think it could. I know this one from experience. It works, and it is a lot of fun.

I think that's a great idea. What is the Venn diagram of Make America Great people and crystal lovers? You'd be surprised. I feel like there's a pretty big middle. You think there is a middle? Right, right. There's the wellness people, right?

Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to take the avocado in your fruit salad. I mean, it's like Palantir. Palantir is kind of like a Trumpy thing, and that's the orb from Lord of the Rings, right? That is. Palantir isn't the orb, is it?

Isn't it the orb? What's the orb? You mean the ring? How much Lord of the Rings dollars do you have? Peter Thiel is obsessed with Lord of the Rings, and all of his companies are named after Lord of the Rings shit, so he's got like Mithril Enterprises or whatever. But I believe Palantir in Lord of the Rings is the orb that, like, the wizards use to see people.

Perhaps it's a crystal ball. Which is now he's created a company that he's using to, you know, sell people's information to the government. I hate when I'm fact-checked on my Lord of the Rings knowledge live on cam. I look at that. It's one of my greatest shames. Yeah, it's this dumb. It's his orb. You can see him getting groovy with the orb.

Yeah, it's an extremely normal thing to name. You're definitely not evil corporation. Yeah. it's a bowling ball it's it's named after an evil orb no affiliation that would be very funny if there was like a mistake where you could kind of see it says like 10 pounds on the orb all right well that's this guy i don't know i guess quarter is not broken you just um i don't know you're not sending it to the right people you're not using it right he just started using it he's trying he's working out the kinks for himself i'm gonna follow him you should follow

him i think he's he's a growing quarry we're his 11th follower uh one day one of these people will come and kill us i think for sure well i'm trusting they'll kill you all right fair enough i think i've got it uh he works at ass kicking at bank of america which i didn't know you could do there by the way i lost my debit card and i've been calling you all week and you are not ass kicking at bank of america no one will help me replace this thing he misspelled kicking so maybe it's german it's kicking and he really likes to get your impact and pokemon and has been hotel and his dog lucy what's has been hotel has been hotel is a cartoon um about people who live in like they work at a hotel i think in hell or something oh okay i haven't seen it i'll check

it out it's one of those shows that's like um it started on youtube and then it's now it's on amazon i don't know it's recommended for fathers and lovers if you're a father or a lover you might like it. I'm checking it out. Genshin Impact, of course, is an anime game that is a rip-off of Zelda, but everyone's a sexy anime girl. Alright, let's get out of here. Okay.

This is our question. What is mind control method? What is mind control method? Y'all ever been mind controlled? There's just a picture of a little girl looking up. Yeah. Spooky. This person has like a whole method. Okay. So, there's two ways to interpret this. One is, you know,

from a meditation standpoint how does one control one's own mind um you know which is a somewhat understandable question to ask on the internet the other one is uh you know witchcraft how do i create a lover with my potion style mind control and i'm leaning towards the second choice in terms of what i hope most of these answers are about we have a long answer by ankita agni hotri do you going to read it who works at cognizant with some good pictures here she says never be overexcited all caps when something is going to happen and you are too much excited about it but unfortunately it didn't happen the way you expected then it becomes really difficult to convince your mind so keep your life balanced in every situation not being too sad if things don't go according

you and not being too happy if everything going as you expected and then a picture of a girl who is just thinking some thoughts she's thinking this is a lot there's like a lot of there's more there's so many answers that she has oh yeah with a lot of it does seem like she's i would say she's ai because of the pictures but the language and ai would write better no she is all woman it's been eight years so i feel like it's probably pre-ai right oh it's eight years ago i thought she had been working at cognizant for eight years no no she's she's been she wrote this eight years ago it's a confusing website there are in india which i think is like what 75 percent of the people 75 percent of quora if they're not in england are in india interesting which did have

you know a colonial uh past with england that i think passed on their love of of questions yes Sure. Why not? It's in the Anglo mind. What the hell? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Should we read more answers on this?

I just want to say there are three stock images on the answer. They're all girls looking like, huh, except for one that's a lady judo chopping like 100 melons. Yeah, I don't know what she's up to. Is it melons or is it potatoes? Potato slices. I thought it was cookies. Zoom and enhance.

There's no more. They're cookies. I'd say those are cookies and potatoes. I'll say this is the most confusing photo I've ever seen maybe in my life. This was on both Yahoo and NBC at some point. She's throwing an enormous amount of cookies and sliced yams. Is this a famous woman? Should I know this woman?

That is Taraji P. Henson. Angrily swipes. God, this fucking internet is so broken. Do you want to subscribe to The Hollywood Reporter while we're at it? um she's swiping desks why did this happen what was the context for this it was on late night with seth myers okay it was on a sketch titled actors angrily swiping things off their desks oh okay well that's what it is i think it was in the in this quora i think it's in the quora because it she had so little mind control

that she had all these wonderful cookies and potatoes and couldn't help but destroy them. Okay, well, that's that answer. These are all so long. It makes sense because it's people explaining. I mean, it's not going to be easy.

How short do you want an answer on how to control the mind, folks? This is in-depth stuff. The top response to the answer is, nice answer. Yeah, that's true. And it is a nice answer. it's a beautiful something i'm just gonna start saying online a lot more i like this answer to control the mind first understand what is mind without knowing how

mind function obviously you can't control it so long story short mind is language you can only think and speak in the realm of languages you know you say you only know english language true so it's mean that you can't think in other languages again i always the quora language is always it's very funny the way people talk on here but i do i can't like make fun of someone who just, I know, lives in India and speaks two languages. Raj speaks at least six languages. English is his second language.

Yeah. I cannot speak any other language. But he goes on to explain that the mind is but a computer and human language is binary language and memory is hard disk. I don't think that's true, though. So you control mind the way you control computer at the end of the day.

How do I get more space for my hard disk mind? RAM. You could get RAM. Yeah, you need more RAM. Do I have to buy that? Can I get that? I think it's like supplements. Yeah, you have to start doing Joe Rogan-style supplement pills.

I started taking magnesium yesterday. Oh, really? Check out magnesium. What is that supposed to do for you? It improves your calcium intake and helps you sleep. I don't, so wait, isn't this question, what is mind control? What is mind control method? What is mind control method?

i mean like what's fascinating is like i i don't know about you guys but if someone says mind control i'm not immediately like it's yoga it's clearing the mind it's like no this is how you control other people through like a chip in their brain right that's mind control it's an evil orb yeah exactly we could see in this question log that this guy who asked the question desperately tried to change it to what is mind control and then Quora content review kept editing it back to control method and it just happens like

four times. The damn mods will not let me find out mind control method. The question though is from Mac Moore, a voice for clarity in a mad world. Be free of mind games. I would like to spend at least 40 minutes discussing Mac Moore's Abby

which is a yin yang inside of a star. surrounded by bricks it's around it's the I Ching so it's I Ching yeah with so but what is the star one two three four five six seven eight an eight-sided star I don't know maybe that's Tibetan Jewish plus two plus three isn't it is it a star David five yeah I'm questioning everything now No, I was right the first time. I think it's six. No, it's six.

Oh, it is six. It's two triangles, right. I actually don't think this is the question asker. This was someone who just kept trying to change it to be read differently. He says he's free of mind games. He's trying to change everyone's questions. I know. And he's an INFJ.

He wants the truth. INFJ. I think I'm an INFJ. Which one is that again? Introvert. Introvert. No good. and then it's fat jewish because you steal everyone's damn memes and you put them on

instagram you make money from them uh i'm gonna move on to another question please while we still oh wait what about what kind of beings can battle directly with demons that's a question i often have i want to know that what kind of beings could battle directly with demons i'm running into demons and frequently my issue is i cannot directly go straight to these things people are really mad at this question the top answer here from a former sergeant is ignorant illogical morons who believe in demons this was a sergeant between 1966 and 1970 this is with their last breath jamming you to hell to ask such a question um that's really funny uh alisa says any kind

the author of the story wants that's the fun thing about fiction it's not restricted by reality now quora is locked in a culture cycle from 10 15 years ago and so there is a endless war between um radical conservatives and uh um very harsh atheists sure that leaks into all the other questions but if you're ever trying to find out how to get bill maher battle yeah exactly um but you'll just be trying to get some answers on like how to get rid of a demon in your house and these people just start fighting in there this guy tried to post the the poster from ghostbusters and did a whole screenshot from imdb where you can see his phone and he's googled he's googled ghostbusters they're at full battery life which is for some reason inserted four white dots over

the image i think that's like google trying to determine what is the picture it's like their fucking ai search he couldn't even wait for that to finish he had to screen grab it so fast i gotta reply to this quora it's a funny joke if we can't find any good answers in this there's a related one i really want to okay what is it so far the only good answer was from boo who says wizards yeah what's the strongest fearsome powerful demon okay okay let's see that's something i'd like to know uh top answer from harry smithard says there's million take your pick or preferably avoid them all even the weakest is stronger than us remember adam and eve were perfect fuck i'm always reminding people to remember that adam and eve were perfect they

They were perfect. They were perfect. One was made out of a rib. This one is Alan's answer. That's easy. From personal experience, it's the demon drink. What is the demon drink? The demon drink.

Like a bud heavy? Is that a type of drink? Yeah, it's like, I think he's saying the drink, you know, it lets demons into your spirit. Are you saying like just alcohol? Drink. In general? Drink. I assumed it was like a, I don't know, some like soda that existed in like 2004.

I don't know about it. No, it's the demon drink, Jeremy. From personal experience, D&L. Oh, the demon drink is just alcohol in general. Yes. Yeah, the demon drink. There's a line in All the Pretty Horses where he refers, the character throws up

and he keeps saying, cursed again by the demon liquor. And I think about that all the time. I truly just assumed it was some Mountain Dew flavor I hadn't heard of. You thought it was a Balls Energy Drink style beverage. yeah mountain dew colon the demon drink get it only at taco bell okay we have to let kurt go here uh i'll email you a link to this please do but kurt before you go what where can you plug for our dear listeners oh please go listen to uh bananas podcast uh you can get it wherever

you listen to podcasts it's me and scotty landis just talking about strange news and we tell a lot of stories it's very fun um and if you're in austin uh this weekend i don't know when this comes out i'll be there uh february 13th through the 16th and then i'll be at the cannon beach comedy festival outside portland march 14th yeah they can maybe make the portland one i think it's gonna come out monday all right sounds good all right thank you for doing the show thanks guys bye bye bye kurt all right we've lost kurt but there's more aquara to explore We're still on. What's the most?

Explora is good. Oh, wait. This is a good answer. His name is Hyborzagar. Gerald D. Samak says his name is Hyborcazar. Hyborcazar. It is Hyborcazar. If you Google it, you may not find too many details about this demon.

Well, I'm going to Google it. It says you can't. It doesn't work. If you would just read the Quoro, they're trying to tell you that modern science won't let you find out about Hyborcazar. About Hiborkazar. This is the only guy who can tell you about it. Just because I just made it up. Oh, fuck you.

Oh, come on. Fuck you, Gerald. I was so excited to hear about Hiborkazar. I really wanted someone to just have an answer for me. It was like, what's the strongest demon? Oh, it's this one. To find out something new and exciting in the world. Like who the strongest and most fearsome demon is.

I don't know, man. People are so angry. Like, I don't believe that demons are real. Take a chill pill. You know what I mean? But I understand that the lore exists in the, you know, Christianity folklore or whatever. You could even just give me like a Diablo top ten boss breakdown and I'd take it. If you said to me, who is the strongest, you know, I don't know, Star Wars character, I

wouldn't be like, well, they're not real. It's like, you could just say Darth Vader. Who gives a shit? The strongest character is the director. Yeah, exactly. Who made the made up film. The editor who can remove you from existence. Oh, that's a good question.

Who's more powerful, the editor or the director? I would say the producer, sort of a Weinstein character. Oh, Weapon Triangle. Weapon Triangle, right? Didn't George Lucas' first wife edit the first Star Wars movie? Probably the director's wife. Woo! Folks.

We'll do another question? Yes. Oh, I like this question on the side. Who's the third strongest demon? I want a breakdown. down um that would probably be pence after trump and mcconnell oh come on bob you dog damn i forgot about mike pence yeah i know yeah we really forgot about pence you know pence uh it is very funny that trump the trump supporters turned so hard on him that they wanted him like

dead yeah like they were walking around with like a noose in uh during january 6th that's gotta be it's gotta be awkward well he wouldn't uh he would he wouldn't stop the steal i know there was a steal going on he wouldn't stop he refused and so they were gonna string him up remember when he was a cartoonist for a while remember mike pence yeah he used to draw in college he would draw little like like dilbert style law-based cartoons you guys go way back huh we're good friends he wrote these awful cartoons it's just funny to be like imagine your friend in college is like doodling stuff and you're like you fucking suck at this and then like oh yeah 50 years later indiana he's the vice president and he calls his wife mother or

whatever i don't know whatever you know what i've been thinking about him a lot because since i've become a father i've started calling my mom grandma and i'm like is this like mike pence am i like mike you're just like him yeah so he would draw these little like dilbert style Oh, his style is bad, though. It was called Law School Days, D-A-Z-E. This is a bad style. Yeah, they're really awful. I mean, not to be too hard on Mike Pence, but he's actually not good at anything.

You know, if you're drawing and it's coming out in these shapes, you might as well just run for governor of Indiana. It's probably a safer. The one I'm looking at right now, it says Law School Days, and it's a guy holding a diploma, and he says, Uh-oh. Did he mean uh-oh? Wait a minute

I think he meant uh oh I think he meant uh oh But he misspoke in the cartoon Uh oh The joke is he's so tired He got it wrong From all the law No I think he just fucked up

Uh oh That might be Maybe that's how they say it in Indiana Maybe Like how they have different sort of jello recipes Over there Yeah, seeing 10,000 people holding mannequins of me in a noose, and I'm going, oh, oh.

Okay, okay. Let's do another Quora. Let's do one more. This is out of control. Let's do this one. This one, yeah? It has a good answer, you said? Yes, it's an answer.

Oh, this is from Ruth Jededa. We know this person. One of the best Quora users we know. Okay, fair enough, fair enough. The question is, what do demons gain from tormenting people? I think this one went to my email. Demons torment people for two different reasons. Number one, because they enjoy it, just like holy angels and some people enjoy doing good.

Demons are on the opposite spectrum and enjoy doing evil. Every intelligent created being falls somewhere on the spectrum between good and evil. Some are more good and some are more evil. angels both holy and fallen are on the ends of this spectrum and lean towards being purely good and purely evil while humans are somewhere in the middle okay have a more clear build because they are doing their jobs satan is their leader and is on a mission to connect collect as many souls as he can before he meets his end demons must answer to him if they fail to complete an assignment against someone that often involves tormenting them ah satan's on my ass god is also involved

in this. It allows demons to separate the wheat from the tares. Did I say that? Tares? What's that? I've never heard this expression in my life. Neither have I. My whole life. What's a tare? I'm on one. Uh-oh. Believe it or not, demonic torment will cause someone to sanctify

their lives and learn to live only for God. This must be done to get the torment to stop. This doesn't work for everyone. And some people fall off into the abyss, but for the others who are the wheat and are not a tear this process will bring them closer to god in my experience the closer that you draw to god and the better you become the less the demons will torment you oh okay so that that's a real good reason to like share and stuff is to get hit with

a pitchfork less at some point this is demonic oppression and possession are no fun i know that purpose even saves some people from ending up in hell god uses everything both good and evil for his divine purposes if you are experiencing demonic torment you need to ask yourself what needs to change in your life and then turn to jesus christ when you have a righteous life demons will no longer have any excuses to bother you well that settles that that's what demons gain by tormenting people i think that was the most clear answer we've read all day i really like it's their job it's their damn job they love it and god is on their ass yeah exactly it's a living and it's a living as well as they have a pitchfork and they're

like stabbing you with it yeah like a pterodactyl and in the flintstones you want to read there any comments on this yeah we wipe our hands clean we're done uh no joke wait wait wait wait this is from leslie claire you can read it leslie says no joke i was being tormented about two years ago and it told me that god allowed it to for a set amount of days 11 a lot of days that's a lot of days that's almost two weeks idk if it was lying but after 11 days of non-stop praying reassessment of how i was living my life and asking for forgiveness it left it hasn't been back and i've developed a close relationship to jesus you could get me do anything if you torture me for 11 days yeah dude torturing is really bad i'm not gonna make

it two days 11 if you're sure if you're doing this ghost thing where like i'm eating cereal and it turns into your head? Sure. That's like demonic torture. Well, that's what we're talking about, isn't it? Well, I mean, torture also exists in the real world, and I don't think I could handle that either. Sure, but that's human torture that's of the flesh.

Right. This is demonic torture. They're just playing loud music over and over. They're dripping on you. This is like you hear thumps in the shower, and then the water is hair and stuff like that. I can't deal with a minute of that. The water is hair.

I hate when the water is hair or when the food is bugs. Yeah, when the food's bugs. Exactly, Claire. It's one thing after another with these jabronis. I don't know what the food bugs. I'd like to take a moment to discuss The Conjuring 3. There were practically no ghosts in that. Really?

Yeah, I was excited to see The Conjuring 4, and my brother came home drunk as a skunk while I was home over the winter, and he said, you can't see 4. If you miss 3, you won't be able to follow it, and made me watch 3. It sucked. It was four good?

I don't know. I haven't seen it. He wouldn't let me. Okay, so which ones do you like, one and two? I enjoyed both one and two. Okay. Two people I had a lot of criticisms about because the nun who was in it

is, I guess, a lot of non-practical effect scares. Sure. A lot of computer scares, whereas the first movie, I guess, people enjoyed James Wan's gotcha style. Is the nun from The Conjuring the same nun from The Nun? Yeah, it was such a hit. Well, it's such a spooky costume that they were like, this is a movie, and then they made a really bad movie about it.

The Conjuring is like a bunch. It's like 20 movies, right? The Conjuring universe, I think, is like 10 movies. Okay. Because Annabelle's in there, too. She gets quite a few of them, Jeremy. She has quite a few movies. I've seen the first Conjuring, and that's it.

That's kind of the best one. And I was like, this is too spooky for me. One of these days, we're going to see a different scary one. Married couple who have the same damn job? No thanks, I said. I need time away I need to podcast with Claire

I was like oh oh it feels so funny to me let's do a Lister email and get out of here it's like reverse Santa is what it is oh oh is that okay

if you'd like to ask us a Quora style question please write into the show Quorators at gmail.com Try to keep your question under 30 seconds if you can, and best of luck out there. Here's today's question. Hi there, Quarriators.

Sam here. I followed all of the tips for them, and yeah, the legal issues do keep piling up, but it has been a whole lot of fun. That is neither here nor there, though. My question for you today is, my significant other recently discovered my deep passion for carving puppets and is now saying we have to get married um is that like okay is that or is that a red flag is that a is that a green

flag i guess um is that okay i don't know thanks for writing in sam our tips for them segment if you are newer to the show, was an advice section that we started the show with, with tips for non-binary people. It was tips for men and then tips for women and then tips for them. We covered the full gamut. They had important things like you want to crawl on the ground if there's smoke in your house. Is it okay that your partner demands marriage

in response to your puppet hobby? I think it is not okay. I think it brings questions to mind. It's like an ultimatum? it's an ultimate it says now that i know there's puppets in the mix i need you for life i'm not sure i follow the connection there's no connection to follow okay i think you got it buddy i don't think there's any room for confusion what's happening here i think the puppets have come into play and therefore marriage is necessary they saw the puppets and they said hubba hubba

yeah make sure you sign a prenup for that because that's your partner trying to get those puppets This is a classic puppet scheme. Try to get the puppets into your partner's hands and see if they just sort of naturally know how to puppet them around because that might actually not be your partner, but a rival puppeteer who is trying to be like, I don't know anything about puppets, but we should get married and then divorced, and I'll take half of them.

Thank you very much. Half of my puppet wealth. This is why you keep the puppets underground. until after you're married. Until after you're married. And then you show your spouse, surprise, there's been puppets. There's been a ton of puppets.

Yeah. They're my livelihood and my work. Keep them underground, locked away in some sort of puppet coffin. Yeah, in the Conjuring universe, they have a room with all the puppets in them. And so maybe that's a system you could adopt. What a segue we did, by the way.

When you have a home together with this person. But, yeah, if you can clear up your suspicions with them first, I think it is okay. But it is a warning sign that they immediately tried to lock it down upon finding you have puppets. Thank you for writing in. Now, can you hit the tips for them button just to close that off? You don't think I can do it.

You don't think I'll know where it is. That's enough. Damn it. Oh, that's Godzilla. Although we have determined that Godzilla is non-binary at some point. Thanks for writing in Quarriators at gmail.com And that's going to do it for everything this week

Wow What a barrel of monkeys we had here today On the animals Animal themed show Creatures of note thanks again kurt for coming on oh and thanks to kurt who was here by the way he's gone now but he was here um if you would like twice as many episodes i have good news for you we do that many and all you have to do to get them is pay us five dollars every month which is pretty much

the price of a black bean a single black bean now and you can do that at patreon.com slash Quarators, we would love to see you there. We go on other websites including Facebook.com. I found some LinkedIn's for this week. LinkedIn. Reddit. Reddit. Kristen Wiig.

And more. Alright, I'm turning off all the recording stuff. And that's enough for us. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Tim. Nevermind, I thought that was going to be enough. That's enough. leave it in