Quorators - Crime & Punishment w/ Dina Hashem

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Have you ever been diaper punished 24/7 as a teenager? My daughter summoned a demon through her Ouija board. Is spanking her an appropriate punishment? I'm Daphne Lawman. I am 19 years of age. Am I in senior high school in Ghana? Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Follow Clay @ instagram.com/bitchrespecter

All right, I'm jamming. Hit it. Uh-huh. Did you add that? Quarators. And we're back to Quarators, another week of America's foremost Quora podcast with your hosts, Alex and Jeremy. Hello, I'm Alex.

I'm Jeremy. I really thought that you edited that sound into a new theme song because I didn't see you hit the button. I was very excited. I didn't mean to hit it, but then I had to play it off because I'm a professional. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's kind of a sleepy one here today, isn't it, Jeremy? Yeah, a little bit.

On a sleepy, rainy day. This is our third podcast in the last 20 hours. In the last 20 hours, and we're doing two more on Sunday. But anyway, there's no better kind of day to spend a little bit of time on my favorite place, Quora.com. And we have a great guest to introduce to Quora today, the world-renowned comedian Dina Hashem. Dina? Well, hi. I'm Dina.

Woo! Dina, how the heck are you? I'm good. I'm so excited to delve into Quora. I'm a Quora user myself. I think I might actually have an account that I don't know the password for. Have you done posts on there or you just lurk? No, but sometimes I want an answer from a human being.

I feel like Reddit and Quora are actually the only places to get answers from humans. Yeah, but Quora is quickly becoming AI. They're adding chatbots to answer all these weird questions. They're making it cringe. I mean, it's such a great niche for them to capitalize on where everything, you'll only be able to talk to a robot. It's a good time for them to be like, we're human only, right? We're the one human website left.

They've really gone the other way with it. It's funny you say that. So we ask a question at the end of every show, which we will get into. And the first thing that happens when you look at any question is there is a long AI answer to whatever the question was that they try to get you to read. Yeah, and we'll do like a crazy question

that's just like, I don't know, I'm trying to look through our... What is your favorite war crime? And then the AI will be like, war crimes are a really interesting topic. Massacring of civilians. As a robot. Oh, by the way, I am a robot.

That's how you know. It's AI. Legally, they have to say that. God forbid they change that rule. Their second job is actually blowing up people. Yeah. And of course, they have a podcast. Everybody has a podcast.

um we've been trying to add more segments to our show this is season three a new beginning and um for a while we've been attracting new listeners with the very popular tips for men segment but as time has gone on and we've expanded our female user base we've actually come to realize that it's not always time to give tips to men that's right it's not all about them And to kind of get the other half of the coin, we are experimenting with a new segment that we will be trying out today, and that is, of course, starting the podcast

with the world-famous Tips for Women. Tips for Women. It's hard to, like, cut off the sound at the right time. I feel assaulted by that. Yeah, that's intense. Assault is wrong. Tips for Women. That's one of the tips.

That's for the men. That one's still for the men. One more tip. On Sunday, we will go back and do that one. Do not assault. Don't do it. Defend. Defend.

Defend the flag. But anyway, that's a tip for men. Dina, do you have any tips you'd like to give to women at the beginning of the Korra show? You don't have to have one. We can do one. Oh, I do have a tip, actually. Okay. This is an eyebrow-specific tip.

Okay. And it's actually, it could be for men as well. Sure. This is an all-gender tip. There's a lot of products out there where they're like, do you want to regrow your brows? And like, they cost a lot of money. But the real function of these products is just the act of rubbing your eyebrows. It's the physical stimulation of the follicle that stimulates hair regrowth.

I've seen this on TV where women rub their eyebrows. Really? I just thought they were stressed. Oh, I don't know if, yeah. I think that's a different thing. I think it is. No, that's not. That is stress.

No, that's not it. So mad! That's not it. But it might be working for them. So yeah, if you want to stimulate hairy growth, just do a little massage. Just like 10 minutes a day. And it could be for your scalp as well.

And you don't need to be trained on that. You can just get in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are people usually trying to grow more eyebrow? I thought it was all a game of less eyebrow. Eyebrows are in, Alex. Yeah, this was a night. see a lot of women got fucked including me because when i was growing up thin was in and as an arab

woman i had the thickest eyebrows ever and my mom wouldn't let me go pluck them so i did it myself and i like removed everything so it still hasn't come back to the way it was and so yeah everyone wants bigger brown now oh my god this is a huge time for polish people a big discovery coming in there um i did when you said this at first i was like if you've been on a fire i guess you would lose all your eyebrows sometimes women paint on their eyebrows that's true have you seen this you piece of shit on tv i saw it yeah i bet i saw it at the aquarium fuck you that was tips for women is it too long to do it twice it's pretty long it's less long i cannot wait i cannot wait until we have to do tips for non-binary people

and Alex has to make a third song. What instrument will it be? I don't know. We've done guitar and saxophone. That'll be in a month or two. Piano? We'll get there. Piano, black keys, white keys, two genders?

Okay. I do not condone the... I'm doing my Joe Biden answer. There are at least two kinds of keys on the piano. We probably have tips for men if we had Joe Biden on. Let's abandon this premise immediately and begin the show. uh now as i was saying earlier at the end of every episode we like to ask a question and we start the episode by seeing if anybody left a little answer so this is our last week on quaraders segment what

was our question last week jeremy is it stolen valor to wear a black belt oh and i still don't know so i hope there are ways of clearing this up leonard smith says no it's not only dumb as hell if a real holder of a black belt challenges you oh my god dude that's like um that's like when you're pretending to be a terminator and you walk in file and the terminators march but they know you're not one of their droids because you don't respond to the magnetic signals right but you're wearing like a robot suit so they you look like one or they yeah you're wearing one so basically like to a human you would you've you've covered yourself in their blood when i started this analogy i thought it was maybe a common text that we could all pull from but i now realize i'm making

it up as i go terminator yeah that doesn't happen well there are there are parts where the terminators pretend to be men that's true in the future the dark future yeah and they're naked to go through the time machine of course right uh so we're getting a lot of no's and no yeses looking at these yeah no yeses on this which i think is good so it was you mean if someone was just outside wearing a black belt yeah but they weren't really one so like if me or alex was just hanging around a narrow, like, gee. Yeah. And we had a black belt.

I mean, I think the bigger problem than Stolen Valor is it's just very strange. It is pretty strange to do, yeah. And it's wrong to lie as well. I guess. Also, you could be, like, called to action

if there's, like, a fight. So I might be like, eww! Right, if there's a fire. A fight. There's no firefighters here yet, but we do have a black belt. Yeah.

And you're like, oh, no. They could do the thing where they kind of push it out with one strong palm. I mean, this happened to you, right? Like, weren't you on the subway and people like employed you yes well that's not the same as being a black belt i told jeremy a story where i was going i was waiting on the l transfer at uh metropolitan one time to go do a

stupid podcast and this woman started like grabbing this man trying to get on the train and she was like stop him someone stop him and we were all just looking at her like crazy people in new york city and then she was like and none of these men will help me right and so me and this crowd just start like grabbing this guy who's like trying to I guess assault a woman on there and then yeah that was very jarring I thought also I didn't know who that guy was I was like what if he stabs me but I also

was shamed into doing it if you were wearing a black belt now they'd expect you to roundhouse kick that guy right then I would be in charge of fighting him but thank good imagine you see someone in a fight on the subway and you look around and there's one guy in a black you'd be like you should do something if someone

steps in here um yeah it's pretty much like having a badge but um for robes yeah yeah i guess i'm still i i have a gi myself oh yeah i only took one jujitsu class okay what color is that keeping this white you can't take back the robe i did taekwondo as a child and i think i got to like a color but i was like eight so what what does that mean even no you were good then i was like 40 pounds i was taking them to the mat yeah if i ever get jumped by like a bunch of pieces of wood oh i can break those bad boys in half i went to a taekwondo class as an adult which is the most embarrassing because i didn't know it said all ages and i didn't know that it

was like is it all children i showed up and it was all kids and they thought i was there to pick up like my child from the previous class it was so embarrassing i just left i didn't take the class Oh, wow. They would have made you spar with a child. Right? It's either, yeah. I'd hope you'd win. I probably wouldn't.

It's better to win than to let them win. Yeah. It's kill or be killed. You can't lose to a child. It's not good. Oh, casual reminder, if you are listening to the show. It is kill or be killed. Well, it is kill or be killed.

And then other reminder that if you must answer our questions, you must use the code word scrambled eggs. And that way we'll know you're here from our show and you're not like a real ass guy, are you? and also a casual reminder it is kill or be killed it's the jungle out there okay this is our episode crime and punishment yeah seamless segue into the theme this week we do themes on this all right hit the parenting button this is our segment querenting that's enough all right oh this is on mentalfacts.quora.com oh shit i would love to learn some mental facts this is our first parenting question in our crime and punishment episode Have you ever been diaper punished 24-7 as a teenager?

Oh, my God. Think about it. Did I have you? I know I wasn't diaper punished 24-7 until at least 23. Are we all supposed to be knowing what diaper punishment is? It's not a mental fact. They don't explain it. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I could assume what diaper punish 24-7 means.

You would assume it's putting a diaper as a humiliation punishment, but what if it's smacked around with a diaper full of coins or something? I will say we've come across a lot of diaper fetishists on Quora, so that is a thing. No, I know. They're doing it. Have you heard about the New Hampshire Diaper Spa? No. What's that now?

Oh, yeah. There's a whole place now that these freaks can go. 24-7? I haven't looked at the details, Alec. It's not a punishment. But you can pay like a fee, like $600, and you can go there and be in a diaper, and there's like people there to do whatever it is that you want them to do to you. What do you want them to do to you?

If you're going to the diaper destination, do you get burped? These people decide our president. There's no taxes. There's diaper free range areas. that's wild see i always like reading these kinds of questions because um 80 of the time it's an erotic perv who's like uh looking to be a sicko online and then 20 of the time it's like a very sick person who's like i can't control my bowels i like wearing it that is the problem where we're like look at these idiots then one person's like i'm very sick yeah not you yeah no you're fine

you can wear the diaper but diaper punished the user diaper punished i think that person is not sick in this way. I think they're sick. Well, they're punished. They're certainly punished for being bad. They're bad. They're certainly punished. They're definitely not good. What did they say? Diaper Punish says, I was one summer for the summer for misbehaving and treating siblings

bad. Spent a whole summer break fully diapered. Oh, 24-7. It sounds like an actual baby wrote that. Yeah. Yeah, by the way, kids are using iPads too young. This is how you can tell. Okay, now there's a user named Sam, and he says,

diaper punished are you a girl message me oh and sam's bio is i love man united men and women football teams i also like harry potter and stranger things if you want to message me feel free oh wait sam just likes to chat oh wait am i crazy they are purposely trying to type like a kid i think quora it's its own language it's beyond that they're this is the thing you're saying like oh it's one of the last places to talk to people and it's like what kind of people Bring back the butts. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

If you go to Sam's Interest, it's knows about diapers and pull-ups. And I don't think those are the exercise. Yeah, which are really good for just sculpting your back. Like Manchester United, which Sam loves. Well, apparently Sam is 15. Oh. Well, Sam needs to read more books then because they have not figured out. Oh, wait, no.

Wait, wait. Sorry. He answered a question from someone who's 15. I don't know if Sam is 15. I'm sorry. We're going to go to jail. If every time you see a Quora, you go, by the way, they're 15. Eventually the law will catch up with us.

This is crime and punishment. This is someone who's been diaper punished 24-7. It's so much time. And they just want to know if you're a girl. Are there any other good answers? There's one from Diaper Boy James. Diaper Boy James says. Oh, my God.

Wait, I forget the original question. Have you ever been diaper punished 24-7 as a teenager? Right, right, okay. Now, Diaper Boy James says, yes, that's what made me enjoy them and want to wear them. So, punishment failed. Yep. If you're not watching the YouTube,

check out how confused he is. There's just so many parts to the question that I don't understand. Like, so, is it a sexual thing or not? It's fully a sexual thing. Okay, so I'll explain it. For some reason, there are people with fetishes who go to Quora to jack off.

and the way that they jack off. They don't know there's like a porn hub. I like that. I like the quaintness. So the way that they do it is they ask a prompt and they expect us to fill in the answer so that they can, I don't know, come to it or something. So they'll be like,

has anyone ever been stuck in a diaper? And then they're looking for Diaper Boy James to be like, oh, yes, I have. Yes, I have. And it was quite enjoyable for me. Yeah, very matter of factly. It's actually quite nice. It's actually how I got my name.

uh yeah so we might have started off too big here yeah i feel yeah i think this is the craziest one we're gonna read all day i'm pretty sure but uh i was my favorite which is why we put it at the top um cross-dressing diaper lover says no as a teenager i was just beginning to fall in love with wearing diapers and was a good boy can you cross dress with diapers aren't diapers diapers or diapers no there's gendered diapers like you know uh cinderella on it oh yeah or a lion yeah and that's a tip for women lions are for boys all right let's move on because you know we've done a lot of diaper fetish content on this web this podcast already that's enough all right here's another question is it wrong to punish a 13 year old child for bad grades by locking her

in a closet for six hours why or why not you got this um i'm gonna say yes i'm gonna what i really like about this one is that it opens the floor for discussion. It really promotes civilized debate with why or why not. I just hope it's like a cop who wrote that question. Statistically.

Not for the reason you're looking for. 30% cops. It's a cop who's telling the truth. You know when you're in the subway and they're on their phone and you're like, what are they doing on there? Yeah, they're on Quora. I wonder why it ruined my child's life. Is six hours too long?

I think it's very likely this person is a troll. But that will not stop us from reading it on the show, unfortunately. We certainly will discuss it. It's too sad. But six hours, I'm going to jump in and say, that is too long. I think it's too long. They're going to forget the outside world by that point. You can't put your kid in solitary.

Just put them in a closet for a little bit. Ten minutes tops. Seven minutes in heaven, parentheses hell. Yeah. Wait, I want to know the answers. There are hundreds of them. I think there's actually like thousands of answers on this one. The top one starts with,

My father was a pilot during World War II. I cannot imagine how this gets like... He was shot down at the beginning of 1944. He was interrogated by the Gestapo before being sent on to POW camp. One of the ways he was tortured in an attempt to get information from him was to shut him in a small room,

a room too small for him to stretch out and turn on the lights. And diaper punishments. Yeah, I think they're basically, he's saying don't do this because it's similar to my dad who was tortured in World War II. Kind of like the Gestapo kind of to do that. Like, I guess, the more parenting-oriented ones. I mean, it's just funny that he thinks he needs to go to that deep of an analogy to explain why that's wrong.

Still think locking your daughter in a closet is cool? Everyone's mad about it. I'm trying to see if there's anyone who's into it. There's a bold, this is child abuse, that's totally fair. And they link to the Wikipedia article for child abuse. In case you're like, what is that? Child what? I've heard of that one.

In the first place, your question doesn't get into why your daughter got bad grades. That's a great point. She might be in the closet too long. How is she studying? What a hilarious miscommunication. I think my daughter's in the closet due to her grades. I've shot her in the closet. Oh, wait, I have a better idea.

Go lock yourself in a closet for six hours and rethink your entire parenting technique until it gets into your head. Bam. That's not what being a parent is about. Killing spree. That's a killing spree, if I've ever heard one. There's no recovering from that, Jeremy.

We've been quarreling. It's a sleepy, rainy day today. It's not so rainy where it's a problem. No. Just a little bit. No, it's fine. I might go on a run later. All right, let's read another one of these.

This is our last parenting question. My daughter summoned a demon through her Ouija board. Is spanking her an appropriate punishment? Now, there should be a punishment. If you bring a demon into my home, I sleep there. Yeah, this is like the people who hate who their kids date. I'm running no demons in my home kind of house. No daughter of mine will bring a demon here for prom.

He's not allied with the morning star, is he? oh boy spanking no i don't think you should spank for a demon it seems inappropriate all right well we know we're not doing the closet so like what am i doing no tv it's a no tv it's a goddamn demon i mean you should be rewarding them for not being on their phone right right summoning a demon is still it's true it's um it's an old school activity yeah what is a ouija board if not kind of like a book yeah yeah letters it helps you spell yeah usually bad words on its own yeah usually words like you know uh pitchfork yeah it takes so long for a demon to spell pitchfork demons love to review music oh yeah just a little joke about the website pitchfork folks thanks

check out pitchfork.com is there going to be any way where we learn about demons in this post is Is there going to be one expert for once in the whole world? There's a very confused answer here where someone says, in my experience, it is never a good idea to punish a demon by spanking it. So the demon is not being punished. No, no, no. The daughter is. The daughter is the one who's in trouble.

She was bad. The demon, I assume you're like reading prayers to or something. I think spanking the demon is appropriate. Oh, yeah, you can. For sure. If you're a black belt. You better be one. You need to diaper punish the demon.

Yes. Yes, put the demon in a diaper. I keep having accidents. I actually kind of like it now. I'm twisted. This is good to me. No, no. Yeah, there's an answer from your lord and savior, Lucifer Morningstar.

Yeah, he says, I suppose you've taken the time to run the appropriate test to ensure that this is a true demon and not, say, a troll. Okay, underneath your Lord and Savior, Lucifer Morningstar, his experience as senior software engineer, 1999 to present. Yeah, the devil himself was a software engineer who knows things like sex and computer programming. Those are his topics of interest. All right, yeah, me too. Okay, well, I didn't expect a kind of chiding answer from him,

I guess, from the name. Steve Jeanette says Dear questioner A female demon Is quite rare In my experience Please congratulate Your daughter

Again no information On the gender Of this demon We're making this up For clout It's making me pissed off This guy's a former lawyer Who lives in

Alaska I think Oh AK Alaska I think it is right Is there Do a lot of things Go to court in Alaska I feel like it's kind of like

Wood rules It's also the rape capital Of the country Yeah it's because People flee because they were found somewhere else and they're like, there's no rules here. Yeah, I can just live in a bus.

As long as the bears agree with me. Bears. What could happen? Pro-rape. Never once. Don't trust a bear. That's what Grizzly Man was about, right? They don't know how to read. Yeah,

this guy says, I used to be a lawyer. Now I teach social studies in a native village school in the Alaska bush. Well, that's kind of nice. yeah i guess i'm not sure i'd want a social studies teacher who's active on quora no i would feel split about that yeah i think i agree with that it does mean you're tech forward um i don't think that the question has anything to do with the gender of the demon that's all i'm going to say okay so we still don't know if you should spank her or not no no one's answering all right um simon says it depends is the demon still loose in the house how big is it

how big is it if it's of a reasonable size and spanking your daughter might enrage it having been summoned by your daughter it will undoubtedly feel some kind of debt to be repaid paid so it may just spank you back you don't want to be demon spanked heard any of these rules before everyone is misinterpreting the question how's that possible yeah well this person's saying that the spanking could become an issue where like if the demon has sworn you know allegiance to your daughter if you spank her now now you have an angry if it invites aggression into the yeah the demon can use that if it's over six feet.

How big do demons get? They're big in my head. Yeah, it depends on how big the tank is. Oh. They're like fish. Oh. Is what that joke is. And they like fill that up.

Yeah. Okay, I get you. All right, well, glad we got to the bottom of that question. I hear what you're saying and I'm saying yes. This person has a great answer. Jaden says hi.

I like that she's just greeting. Hi, Jaden. Hi, Jaden. If she can do that, then I wouldn't piss her off then. It's true. I feel like we're all misreading this. What do you mean?

How so? What do you mean, how so? All of the answers have been like, and it's a girl demon? No, no, no. This person's saying... How big is she? If your daughter can summon a demon,

then you shouldn't spank her because she's got like a connection to hell. Because she's a witch lord. Yeah, she'll kill you. She'll hex you or something. She'll summon another demon. Yeah. Okay.

She's obviously good at it. Jaden, you get credit, but everyone else is in trouble. Hi, Jaden. Hi, Jaden. jayden game email yeah that is a beautiful name for a girl on march 5th someone asked where can i buy legal guns and she wrote not for me that's another boom same same killing spree she also asks a bunch of questions about questions

she says how can i chat with you and no one else can see oh behind a screen jayden jayden game email All right, well, why are boys awake when circumcised? I don't know. I mean, the more we've read about circumcision on here, the more I'm against it. That's a good question. I think that's a valid question. Yeah, Quora has turned me against circumcision.

I have no real opinion on it. I'm against it. I'm anti as well. All right, there we go. Yeah. It's over. It's over for that. It's for men.

Let's go to our animal questions, Quora Gone Wild. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. beautifully done mr patak if you're done lying um we just have one animal question today that's all i wanted to say if i piss in my dog's bed will it correlate a link and stop pissing in mine now i should clarify i put this one in here somebody sent this to me because i i did a post uh promoting the podcast and the strangers sent me a uh a retort that they would rather to listen to a dog drinking piss. That's right.

That's right. Then my podcast. And we both were very excited about this and tweeted that we will do a dog drinking piss episode. I tweeted the Eminem listening to headphones picture. But it did get us wondering about what is going on with dogs and piss. And so this is kind of another crime and punishment question

of how do you get a dog just out? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, are they expecting the dog will be like, oh, he pissed in my bed and I don't like that. so I should stop. That's a wrong assumption. The dog would probably love the piss. Right, because it's smell-efficient.

They do retaliate like that, though. My cousin had a dog, and they would fight and stuff, and the dog did pee in his bed. He'd be like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, no, they retaliate for sure. It's also about ownership, or is that just cats? I don't know. Cats pee to mark territory.

But dogs also pee to mark territory. Yeah. We're all doing it. We're all doing that. Um, you know, I don't even think I could confidently say this won't work. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, fair enough. I think it's rude. Like, I think it's uncivil to do, but it might, like, in dog, like, in the streets for a dog, that might be, like, the move.

I'm just imagining a dog, like, walking into their house, and they see, like, a grown man just be like, fuck you. Hey, piece of shit. What the hell? How was the bone you had today? I own your bed. I bought it from a store. I'm going to go ahead and presume one of these answers is I tried this. I want to hear from a vet if we can grab one of those.

Well, I have an economist. Sure. We'll start with that. She says, you are a rational being. Classic economics. Dogs ain't rational, so there's no correlation in them. Just train it to do the right deeds and you will be surprised. In the marketplace of piss, the most efficient transaction is often rewarded.

Shut up. You don't know about dogs. You don't know that life. The market decides the price where the streams cross. It's so sad, but it's true. The demand stream. The demand stream. Toby says, thanks for the honest answers.

I'll be sure to look back on these in the next instance. In seriousness, I ended up training the dog via various means to stop. Were you joking before? Who? Was I joking? No. He said in all seriousness. Maybe he was joking.

Maybe this is just a joke question where he was like, I'm just venting. Well, why did you bring it up then, Toby? Toby, we're trying to get to the bottom of this. Most of the answers just say no, probably not. No, no, no, probably not. It makes you a complete tool, someone says. Let's not throw words around you can't take back. Dogs lack in the sense of personal accountability and agency which humans possess.

They're unable to put two and two together and are unable to assess their own past behavior. I know that's true for cats. Dogs, I feel like you famously can train. Here's what I'll suggest. Close your door. Yeah. Okay. But what if you want a sleepy bedtime dog?

You can't. What if he instead pisses in his own bed? Like, dude, this is where I piss. I can't piss here. That makes more sense than pissing in the dog's bed. The dog will probably think the human sleeps in the dog's bed after that. He thinks they're going to switch. Then you sleep on a rug on the floor.

That kind of sucks. I think that makes sense. Piss in your own bed. Yeah, so the answer is to piss in your own bed. Piss more than the dog piss. So the dog's like, oh, that's his spot. Work around squirt is piss. Great.

I don't know if you can use that. Yeah, if you can use that, feel free. Just start squirting it there. And that's a tip for women. I'm not going to hit it. They're too long. It's too long. Let's do Corbett and Fruit, our religion segment.

Let's go. Oh, I love this one. I don't know how you found this one, Alex. It was sent to us on the Discord. That's how. I don't find any good ones. Okay, this is a religion question. Does God allow us to 69?

It's a mutual act, after all. Now, I've not heard anything about this. There's nothing against 69ing in the Bible. I think it's fine. It's an Air Bud situation. Okay, go on. There's nothing in the book that says you can't 69. And also, dogs are good at it.

and i almost want to be like because it didn't exist back then but there's no as long as people had bodies i feel like 69 it was in the equation to invent it though i think the rules for sex in like 5 bc were just like don't be gross about it act like you've been there before um it is a mutual act after all it is a mutual act after all there's a whole part of the bible about like respecting mutuals twitter rules the bible is big on like giving versus receiving yeah god is against doming that's a big part of it it's a whole book of uh the new testament so

there are a lot of religious scholars around um i'm hoping we can get an expert to chime in on this one i'm like the dog piss um let's see derrick who studied ancient history and economics And economics, so he's pretty much Jeremy. I love ancient history. Derek says, if you're talking about the sexual position, then I don't think God is going to care about it. Okay. Sex isn't about pleasure.

It's about love and passion. God sees you 69 and is just like, I'm going to turn around. I'm not interested in this. A lot of people these days do the dirty just to have a hell of a good time feeling good inside. That's true. I'm always saying that. God, I think, is more than disappointed in how immature we've become.

god isn't going to stop anyone from doing as they desire because that violates free will which is his goal which is a golden rule of his that's the end okay yeah well so yeah i would say that uh most of the time i'm doing the dirty it's just to feel good as hell this doesn't rule i'm having a hell of a good time feeling good inside this whips i say um oh this says do you have to be married i feel like that could be a god rule god's pretty big on that oh yeah i mean i guess that is if you are like genuinely really into the bible the answer is like if you're a man and a woman it's fine gay people can't 69 if you think of marriage from god's perspective it's pretty much like yeah you can do anything you want i just need

to run it by me first i need to like pair you off in my head he's like a cool parent who's like you can do it if it's in my house i just want to see you 69 it is a consensual act after all it's a mutual act excuse me it's also consensual i hope i don't know how it would work the other way i'm not gonna think about it it's not that kind of show it's a sleepy rainy day peter says it's an interesting world where humans get to change god's mind got your ass not even just bishops and the pope i prefer god's kingdom where he alone makes the laws and judges those are the facts peter's taking you to school all right peter thank you peter we love your stuff all right let's see jonathan says let's

get right first by 69 you mean mutual oral sex personally i don't think any sex act between consenting adults is any of god's business interesting um and then he says it's my secret i'm an agnostic if it makes any difference so when the new testament was written i expect the pre-christian romans did do 69 as alec said but i imagine your average jew had considerably less access to hygiene facilities so it would have been pretty yuck this is a vicious rumor that's been thrown around about jews for thousands of years they cannot 69 they think it's gross it's just a sociological fact all right he says no offense is intended okay yeah he's just spitting here there's going off there's a lot more but i don't know if it gets

any better no not really okay that's fair i'm done with this one okay me too let's uh never think of this again okay let's go on to um forbidden knowledge okay the unknown mysteries of the universe now i did i was trying to scrounge up crime and punishment stuff about um mysterious uh uh entities entities i kept putting in the word ghost trick but apparently ghost trick is a popular video game so i couldn't really get anything with the word ghost or punishment in it okay um ghost trick i guess is a household name all around the world ghost prostitute um and maybe that's what that's about although i did see it lumped in with ace attorney a lot so i think it was kind of like a problem solving kind of game uh anyway this week's

question why do humans punish demons as false gods hmm why do they do that kind of going off on a limb here humans love to punish demons as false gods i don't know if it's a punishment i don't understand the grammar of the sentence why do humans punish demons as false gods so they think the they view the demons do they are they idolizing the demons as gods and that's why it's is the question like why do humans mis uh categorize demons okay yeah it's not really a punishment right i mean why do they consider demons what i like about this one are all the answers that are like i do not understand what you're saying you know how humans punish demons the question is just why oh okay demon atherly says oh i'm sorry damon atherly that's a normal

name that one's all me dog that is my bad uh says i can't remember ever seeing a demon getting punished by humans so i guess you just misunderstood yeah that's damon uh damon says demons are not having this sandy one sandy summer says i cut her off from frisky's fish flavor snacks all right that's what it says it's my job to tell you what it says bring on the ai yeah this is actually a really good argument for ai i think reading these and then index as adults generally can't see them find a real book on them and use your own child as the seer then you'll know just pray that your child forgives you for it or they'll leave you wishing you were in hell to escape the pain uh-huh honey god damn well that answers the

question i hope that helped this is also an answer this one wrote like posted like several photos of astrology's yeah information i mean i don't think this is oversharing but jeremy uh recently whipped up like a tv pitch uh where he made like beautiful colors and all the fonts and stuff so it like pops when you send it to tv executives and then hopefully they give you a tv show and this quora answer is written like that but it's about like uh sending demons to hell yeah and you know There's lots of little illustrations. The studios love it. They're buying astrology from Quora.

And it's the hit new TV show. That's not those flowers brushing through your Bible quote. Let's make three versions of the three-body problem. There's not really much else to say about this. I kind of want to find the question. What else is there to say? Okay, so the question asker is a guy named Kelvin Davidson. And you will be surprised to find out this is his only question ever.

Ominous. i'm gonna follow him what happened to kelvin we're kelvin's first follower if kelvin comes back we want to know more kelvin let us know what happened what happened why do humans humans punish demons as well does your daughter do this all right let's go on to our politics question it's about time it's an election year the quiz course this is what's going on in your nation how can we scare terrorist organizations such as isis al-qaeda and boko haram okay how can we scare them how can you out scare the terror scare them for what purpose though just as like a fun goof just to get their ass haunted house this is a very like 2005 style

question yeah how do we out fear the terror to be fair this question is eight years old okay so it is old that's i mean but that's still way after war on terror time although i guess it it's still isis time around then yeah 2016 yeah so isis is around 2016 yeah and the question is how do we scare them okay uh i guess you like put out something really scary like um the movie hostile yeah i was gonna say we just like airdrop paranormal activity yeah yeah and it's scary how much money it made for such a low budget i mean we've talked about this on this podcast but ben bin laden loved video games and movies yes they got to sneak him a scary one and naruto and final fantasy 7 that's right so i guess if you send him resident evil you'd be like is this what i'm doing

no they somehow they like convince bin laden to play like the maze game where like if you touch the edge it's just like the scary woman being like holy shit you know it's a whole section in the world I'm staying out of, they got mazes like that. There are much better answers in the forum here. The top one is by showing unity and not giving in to fear. Everyone start

clapping at home. If you're listening while driving, start clapping. Take your hands off the wheel. Do not give in to fear by showing unity. Boko Haram hates that. I don't even know what this would be. Create division of other Muslim female homosexual. You will scare

the crap out of them. And this is from Ansari Aimane who works at Red Bull. All right. Which gives you wings. James Card whose qualification

is not a terrorist says fear and then wrote an essay. I don't know if we want to read the whole essay. It's kind of like annoying. Yeah, I'm trying to see.

Spread effective rumors about known leaders. Investigate friends and family of members. Effective rumors. Offer cash for actionable info. This guy's just trying

to do like Zero Dark Thirty in Quora. That would work in creating fear for Al-Qaeda. Those are all the answers. Those are all of them. That does kind of round it out for me. You don't have any ideas

on how to scare ISIS? Besides Haunted House, release a scary movie or stand strong. Some sort of mask. That's all. Scary movie, Haunted House, Unity. The Crash Bandicoot mask, I guess, is

the last option. It makes you strong. It gives you a second life. The one thing terrorists fear. A second life. I will not be explaining that. A one up. Double jumping.

That's enough of that. I'm done with that one. We've got a few more. These are all police questions. This is our segment five quo. This is not a real police siren. If you're driving, if you're not in public.

You shouldn't be watching the video. This is the podcast. Should police officers be present at all water parks, public beaches, and pools, keep a close eye on bikini-clad women, and arrest them immediately if their bikini bottoms slide down or get ripped off by the current slash waves, parentheses, nudity is a crime?

Huh. Okay, that's one of the porn ones, right? Yeah, that's someone who's just like, yes. Let me tell you. It's kind of funny from a New York perspective because I don't think there should be, but there are. Every time I go to the beach there's like a cop on an

ATV behind me all day. Nudity cop. That's a TV pitch. Keep that on. I have a big billboard that says nudity is a crime just flashing at you. I was a lifeguard as a kid and when I was like 15 on the water slide as a lifeguard,

this woman in her late 20s or whatever went down the water slide and her top came off and she quickly covered up. And her boyfriend Also in his late 20s Came up to me When I was like 15 And was like Hey

That was pretty cool Huh And I was like No You must have been A cool kid Yeah People wanted your approval

Yeah I gotta impress this boy Were you wearing Sunglasses at the time I'm sure I was Yeah I bet You were pretty cool Back then

A lifeguard does Exude authority Yeah it's true Even as a young boy Hope it's not against The rules To get these Milkers out

Yeah Something like that. I was standing in like three feet of water with a buoy. Every story you tell about your childhood, you are in some form a cop, which I really appreciate. Lifeguards are there to protect and serve. Drowning is a crime. Should police officers be present at all water parks, public beaches, and pools? Yeah, right?

They should be there. They have to in case there's nudity. uh now a lot of the answers are kind of confused i think because trend here being nude is somewhat of a and this is a controversial but kind of like a uh harmless crime i guess you could say i mean i guess you could expose yourself to somebody you know and then you're kind of like sexually overexposing them but if it's an accident i think that's okay sure like if a tiger stole your pants no one could be mad about about that and you know what i'm glad that we got to the bottom of this If a tiger stole your pants, then no one could be mad about that.

This is one of the recurring nightmares I have. Back in school, and I look down, and I go, oh, no, the tiger took them. What a stupid question this was on account of if a tiger stole your pants. It would be truly a blameless situation. Dan Ryder says, in England and Wales, there has been no crime of indecent exposure since 2003. Boom. You gay. Take that.

Plenty of water parks and pools have naturist sessions, and even in the UK, there are more clothing optional public beaches than many people realize. I don't know if that's true. There might be more important matters for the police to attend to. Do water parks have, like, nudist... Maybe, like, a day... Nudist swim?

I could see them having, like, nudist day, right? Yeah, you can get really hurt by the slide today. That does sound hateful. That does sound bad. Yeah, all those, like, metal ridges are yours now. Yeah. Wave pools are crazy We did a bonus about

Nudists from the UK And they also call themselves naturists I guess that's what they're called in England It's an emerging sub-community Yeah, the naturist community I guess I never thought about that Put a diaper on That's what I say

Grow up It's diaper day at the water park That would suck Because they'd fill up Oh, gross You're in a wave pool You don't like that, Alex? I don't know if that's necessary.

Well, I'm editing this episode, so it stays in. All right. It's a new era. And this other guy says, I heard of the flashlight police, the garbage police, the bicycle police, and the beach police. And now you want the pussy police? And then it says, ha, ha, ha. I haven't heard of any of those things. Also, I feel like the question was, should there be police at the beach?

And the guy's like, now I've heard of the beach police. It's like, wait, no. That doesn't make any sense. Mark Bellingham, who is a former restaurateur at Lazy River Lodge in Laughlin, Nevada. If you're a listener in Nevada, check out Lazy River Lodge. We've got, what, two more questions here? Can we please explore these other crime and punishment theme chorus, Jeremy? Why are U.S. Marshals concerned with manhunting, murder, infiltration, and police bamboozlement?

Now, to find this one, I typed in the word police bamboozle. And this was one of the only responses. Why are U.S. Marshals concerned with manhunting, murder, infiltration, and police bamboozlement? I would like to act confused about this one, except the thing is, I know why they're... And why is that? It's what their job is. Yeah, that's true. Is to concern themselves with manhunting, murder, infiltration, and police bamboozlement.

What is police bamboozlement? Is that what Serpico's about? I don't know. They bamboozling me. like entrapment is that i guess if it's corruption is that a form of bamboozlement if you have a badge and you commit a crime is is that a you have to serve the time you well in theory you should serve the time and there you should serve the time of it being a rhyme what did the u.s marshals do let's take a step even farther back here okay everything i know about

these people is from the adult swim show eagle heart right so mostly they kill lots of people i think that different types of marshals there's like a there's air marshals there's fire marshals right yeah there's all of the different elements i've gone to a laser tag place where there's a marshal but that's not like a government thing that's just the name of the person who works there um let's see marshals and this is boring i don't know the answer what is jeremy read the united states marshal program wikipedia i don't want to do that let them know they enforce federal laws and they provide support to virtually all elements of the federal justice system i could do that but my question really is why are they concerned with manhunting murder infiltration and police

bamboos doesn't it sound like someone who got foiled by the u.s marshals and is so yeah so triggered it seems so triggered triggered by being arrested by the marshals this is cope You get one call or Quora question. You can call your lawyer or you can post to Quora. Am I in trouble? Go directly to the people. That is the thing, though. Whenever people get arrested for stuff,

the police immediately look through your Google searches, right? And they find you search, like, is it illegal to kill my wife? Oh, it was. Shouldn't have done that. Shouldn't have done it. I really regret Googling so many crimes. People do it every time.

Yeah. They Quora and they Google their crimes. I always like Quora illnesses I think I might have. Yeah? I think. What illnesses do you think you have? Well, it's always like my stomach hurts and my dying. Sure.

And then someone's like, yes. Yes, you're dying. It's me, the robot. Robot here. Hi, I am an on-duty police officer. You are dying. You have stomach cancer. I am an economist who loves Harry Potter.

You're basically dead. That may be gastritis. You've been bamboozled. I'm an economist. The police are confused. All right. We have one more question on here. This is from My Teen Fun Zone,

which is a space for teenagers to get to know each other and much more. 13 to 19 only. This is now, if I was actively part of a sting operation, this is the space I would create. Is it okay that we're on here? Well, we're just reading the question.

I'm certainly not 13 to 19. This forum is for 13 to 19 only? I think as long as you don't interact with the question, it's okay. Okay, all right. We're just reading it. This is the question. I am Daphne Lawman. I am 19 years of age.

Am I a senior in high school? Am I in senior high school in Ghana? It's like a riddle. They're like, am I in Ghana and am I 19? Am I in senior high school in Ghana? Daphne Lawman. I have four legs in the morning. I have two legs during the day.

And I have three legs at night. Am I Daphne Lawman? Am I 19 years of age in senior high school? What is senior high school? Well, that's... You know how elderly people go to elderly homes and they have fuck fests? They should have to have homework, too.

They should have senior high school where they also are back in school and they're like, who do you have to crush on? This is another great pitch for a TV show. This is good. Senior high school. I saw you at the lockers. I'm going to shove you into a locker.

Well, actually, there are real programs. I don't know if you saw the news, but seniors are spending time on college campuses. Really? They're just hanging out there, mingling with the youth. Cool. Trying to access better books.

I'm for sending our elders back to school. I agree. If they're already going to be fucking each other 24-7, they might as well be in high school. You're never too old to start learning. Thank you, Alex. Thank you. And I think Daphne Lawman is in Ghana.

And again, this fits the theme because her name is Lawman, which is another word I was searching. Yes, that is the reason it is here. That's the reason it is our final. Now, the question is added by someone named Daphne Lawman. Confirmed. Those are her two questions. She has one question that we just read,

And the other one is, when I am in class and the teacher was teaching, I don't understand it at all. And I want to learn, but it was difficult for me. What should I do? And she knows about senior high school. You got to pay attention more, Daphne. Daphne. And, yeah, I don't know. There is one answer on this.

It says, question makes no sense. And it's by Big Dog. That's by Big Dog. You've been shooed out by the Big Dog. He's the Big Dog. He graduated in 1990 from college. So he certainly should not be in the teen fun zone. He's kind of an older dog.

Yeah. Big. Big, though. Size-wise, he's certainly large. Size of a horse. Good Lord, this dog. God forbid he pees on your bed. Older teens wrote, no.

And then Sharon Kaufman wrote, I do not know what you mean. Only you can determine whether you were in high school or have completed high school. At 19, some people have completed high school and some have not. If you have completed high school, you probably have or can obtain some documentation of that. Even if you don't have a formal diploma, you probably have transcripts showing that you have passed all the courses that your country or province requires. That has to be AI. I'm upset at how thorough and accurate of an answer that is.

Daphne is not going to recover. Those are the two sides of Quora. That's the AI person, and the other people are just like, I don't know what this is. I'm assuming this is part of the Ghana Dare program. When they go online, they're like, Daphne got high one time. She forgot she was in senior high school in Ghana. Now she can't learn from her teachers.

yeah this is like the kind of quora feels like the kind of website like a fake website that you'd see on like csi in 2006 you know what i mean where they're like investigating daphne wahman and they show her computer and she's like i am daphne wahman she's using the internet to hook up with other teams for drugs does anyone else like stealing that could be our question at the end this episode oh yeah true i don't know the thing is i think stealing is actually quite popular i think it's a uh universal thrill i've stolen what's something you've stolen um let's get this on the record i stole makeup from sephora and i did get arrested it's a very embarrassing story um and i stole for my job i worked at a grocery store and i stole groceries every day and that's

what led me to believe I could get away with stealing from Sephora. The thing is, sometimes crime is kind of easy, and it really misleads you as to how bad it will be when you get caught. Exactly. That's fine. When you get caught, they're so mean to you. They're actually really nice to me. Really?

At Sephora? This has not been my experience. No, the mall security guards were really mean. But then the cops, I actually made friends with them. I told them I was a comedian. You got your whole life ahead of you. This was like last week. You had a lot of nice makeup on.

I know you're from Comedy Central. The cop's not your special. Makeup is so expensive. Part of your routine. No, I got arrested for drugs when I was like 18 or something. They were very mean to me about it. Very unfair, very not nice to me on the side of the road in Maryland. I have not been arrested.

I've done nothing fun. Goddamn cop. He's a fucking cop. I'm in the police force. He's a lifeguard, which is a cop. I'm allowed to do the crimes on account of my friends or the police officers. I guess, as long as you do the time. I refuse.

This is bamboozlement. I can only be arrested by a U.S. Marshal. Okay, let's ask her a question and get out of here. What was it? Was it like, are crimes easy to do? I don't remember. I don't know. Do we have any questions that we want to ask to Cora?

Do you have any questions you'd like to ask to Cora? Dina's the guest. Dina is our guest. That's a fact. You don't have to. We can also just do the, does anyone else think stealing is easy? Yeah, I want to hear people's crimes.

Yeah, what's the worst crime you ever committed? Yeah, what's the worst? All right, yeah. What's the worst crime you ever committed that you weren't caught for? What is the worst crime you ever committed? Was it fun? Okay.

Yeah. And then I'm sure we'll get some harrowing responses from the Cora community that I'm really looking forward to. Type that up. In the meantime, Dina, thank you so much for coming on the Quarters Hit Podcast. Where can our listeners find you at home and abroad? At Dina Hashim underscore online. And I have a special Dark Little Whispers on Amazon Prime.

Check out Amazon.com, the everything store. If you want more of our show, we have other episodes every Thursday on Patreon.com slash Quarters, where we go on other websites such as LinkedIn, Twitter, TikTok until it is illegal to do so we should maybe go back to tiktok quickly yeah actually we're running out of that i got messages immediately that this will only improve our show and to those people i say we're reading more we're reading more than ever i think they meant because quora will become more popular oh i think they meant because it's a visual medium and it's an audio podcast maybe you're right there's no way to know we'll have to go back uh and uh but aside from that

Thank you for listening, and hey, have a good one out there as well. Yeah, have a good one out there. Okay. Trying to get diaper punished 24-7. All right, that's it.