Quorators - Delicious Delights w/ Allen Strickland Williams

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: I ate 36 grilled cheese sandwiches and now I'm stuck on the toilet. Am I going to die? Why is my hotdog so yummy with my tummy What would you say if you were in a grocery store and somebody said, "if you need all those groceries, you have mental problems"? --- Follow Allen on Instagram Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

Unabomber. We're looking up if the Unabomber is dead or alive. Oh, he definitely died recently. Okay. Unabomber. Everyone quiet until we find this out. Ted Kaczynski. What?

He died in 2023. Oh, wow. Oh, COVID. Faxed. I think I remember this because there were people going like, trying to be like, yeah, he was actually a good guy. He had a beautiful spirit. That he incended his work.

Great writer. Great writer. Oh, wait, is that... Great guy at living in a cabin. Two things he did. I was the opposite. I was the one who was like, I hate to see everyone praising the Unabomber right now,

but I actually worked with him. He was a huge dick. He made bombs safer than the IRA did in many instances. Many. He was MKUltra'd. He was MKUltra'd. MKUltra'd his ass. They tickled him until he went mad.

Yeah. That's what MKUltra was. Come here, got you. I went to a school where they gave us a safe version of events. That's what you learned about the Unabomber and MKUltra. In Catholic school, they tell you MKUltra is about a series of ticklings

you can receive. I thought you said pickled. Oh, no, they didn't pickle him. No, no one was pickled, Claire. Like you put him in a vat. That would be really fucked up to pickle someone and make them change their entire flavor palette. That kind of walks into what we're doing today,

which of course is fully intentional. It's Quarators. Quarators. We're back again! America's premier Quora-based podcast. What are you doing, Claire? What is that noise? I'm sorry, I'm looking for my other headphones

because these ones are about to die, I think. It's kind of an interesting audio drama style experience. Feel the podcaster looking for her headphones. Sorting through her drawers. I didn't realize how they were loud These are just my scissors Slink slink Claire there's a horse in your apartment

Hi hi Oh he's a talking horse Horses are one of the better foley sound effects Yeah I agree I've been distracted Hello it's the show and all the hosts are here And that's Jeremy and Alex and Claire And on top of that even a guest

That's right for the first time We have a new fourth member of the podcast here on the show today. Wow. He's a traveling laugh man. Sort of clown on wheels. Just a journeying everyman. You've heard of laughs at home.

But what about laughs on the road? It's like Postmates, but for laughs. You won't need to bring your smiles from home this week because we have them for you right here. It's comedian Alan Strickland-Williams. Alan? Hi, everybody. Thanks for having me.

It's wonderful to be here, actually. It's so great to have you here. This is a very special week of the episode. We're discussing foods and food-based enterprises. Yum, yum. You big on food? You eat food? I love food. One of my favorite things to do is to go out to eat with my friends.

Nice. That's sincere. Wow. That's kind of weird. That's kind of a freak, huh? That's a little crazy thing about me. I like to go out and eat with my friends. And you guys throw it all up after?

Yeah, we get a big bucket. We call it big bucket, and we go big bucket mode afterwards. And then we eat that, and that's the dessert. I was about to say, it doesn't sound like something he has to eat in the bucket. It's very communal. If you're not watching YouTube, Alan's very thin. I assumed he throws it all up in. Okay, that's where you were going with that.

Your weird brain. He's so pretty. I have IBS. So we do it the old fashioned way around here A god given eating disorder I'm so lucky I was chosen My butt throw up three times a day

Oh the toilet? I know it I know the toilet Well that eliminates my next question Well that's great to hear I personally can't get enough of food I like to eat it several times every day. Bound it.

That's bound it. Cool. What else do I do at the start of the show? Weather report. It's raining. Oh, weather report. Yeah, it sucks. That's not really an official thing.

It's just you started doing it recently. It fucking blows. Well, here's what happens is I start the podcast and I go, wait, what do I do first? And then first thought, weather report. You just look out the window. Tell them if it's hot. You just start looking around the room like a cartoon character. It's truly, this is truly, like we should get a shot of this actually.

It's so, it's kind of beautiful. Yeah. And how ugly it is. It's the most autumnal it's ever been outside. It's spooky. There's pumpkins. Is that true? It's gray.

I mean, I got here Friday. The first three days were like the sun was out and like the leaves and everything. And it's like, oh, my God, New York's fucking beautiful. And then today's having like, this sucks. Yeah, talk about haunting weather. It's been like the summer. It's 87 degrees here. Is it really?

I'm so jealous. That's too hot. Okay, so weather report. Oh, so I guess when we do the weather report at the start of the show, we should also do Los Angeles just so no one is confused. Right. Just for safety.

Look up Chicago. I think for safety, the top five biggest American cities. And also one in China because you're trying to kind of defect. I am trying to be a spy for their government. I guess we could do like Shenzhen or something. Great.

I'll find where I'm going to work with. It's sunny here in Shenzhen. Another great day. It's a hundred degrees. China's very large and full of contrasts, but we can't get into that now. And it's a beautiful, beautiful culture. There would be too much to discuss. And today we're actually discussing the questions of Quora.com.

Now, Alan, we're on this website every week, but have you been on Quora before? Oh, yeah, sure. I wind up there every once in a while when I'm trying to... Quora's always funny because it's like when you're trying to figure something out online, it's like you know you're supposed to go to reddit which sucks but that is what you're supposed to do because the nerds on reddit like will actually give you answers right like you always stop by quora on the way just to see what's wrong to see what what isn't the answer just like how did like where do they come up with this stuff

sort of vibe but yeah did a machine ask this question and then you click on it and they're like yes we've been paying people to make ai that asks questions so that you no one in the future needs to ask this stupid question i've been thinking about that a lot this morning when i was like collecting these it's just like what who's getting paid to stop people from visiting the website and asking the questions it's like they don't want them to come they hired like a ai engineer a few months ago for like three hundred thousand dollars a year or something Well, that's some crazy number to be like, break our website. Damn, dude, that could have been you.

Yeah, you know me. I love programming AI. But you plan. Jeremy is often playing. Yes. So before we like to get into our different questions, our subject of the week is delicious delights, I believe we decided. Delicious delights. Delicious delights.

That's correct. And so we'll be going on different kind of food oriented things. but of course we're going to start with our space of the week on the Quora space, foods. Space of the week. Great. Space of the week is foods. This is the biggest one we've ever done.

Foods.quora.com, 263,000 followers. God damn. Huge space. Oh, baby. Everybody's eating. People love food. These are like mostly vegetables on this website, though. Well, the image at the top, we should say, is every kind of vegetable there is in the shape of a heart, and that's to imitate a human heart if it was made of vegetables.

And then sort of stretched horizontally. Yeah, some kind of like swamp thing. Do you not realize that, Claire, that it's a heart? No, yeah, I see it. Okay. Claire's very sick. She can't see a heart today. I feel it.

I feel it. Claire, what are you sick with? I don't know. I went surfing yesterday all day, and I think that just kind of wore me out. Now you got the blues. Yeah, from all those tasty waves. I think I just have a cold, probably. She's got hang-ten-itis.

Alan, shut the fuck up. She doesn't have that. I'll joke with you. She's regular sick from surfing all day. um 263 000 followers uh you have to understand in quora terms this is like millions of followers like this is an incredibly large like the the yeah it's like as far as countries go like india yes just to pick a random country it's got a lot of people who live there i wonder if it will be related to the space that was out of that was out of purpose such as hypothetically like if a guy

there was a guy named krishan veer singh who is the main contributor assistant manager at buddy for study.com i do want to go to buddy for study.com but okay we should read the description of the space sure this is foods discover and share delicious recipes with fellow foodies in our foods quora space great okay are you going to buddy for study.com well first i'm closing the Unabomber. And then I will go to buddyforstudy.com because I know the assistant manager.

What if this is like a really legit business? What if it's just porn? Scholarship portal. Portal for indie and fun. Wings. Women inspiring growth. Wings in STEM. Z Scholars. I think it's just a regular

ass website about studying. Wow, so this guy's like kind of a big deal then, huh? This looks fake, actually. This looks like a scam of some kind. It's like Indian kuman. Come on. Come on.

Graduate school. I'm trying to see if they have a masthead or something. You hear that word every day, masthead. You're hearing masthead every day? No, I said you don't hear that word every day. That's weird.

She's trying to compliment you, and you just fucking threw it in her face. I'm sick. And she's dying. I heard she has hang tinnitus. Hold on, hold on. Nah, he's not on here. We're clicking on the buddy for study team tab.

I want to see if they have this guy from Quora. It's Christian and it's our number one Quora user. Do you think he's lying about being on the buddy for study team? He might be. They have the director. He might have moved on. I think Christian probably is, like, sweeping the halls at Buddy for Study, you know, to get that entry position, and he's hoping to move to the leadership team. Yeah, he's manifesting.

He wants to work at Buddy for Study, so he's putting it out into the universe. Act like you've been there. Act like you worked there. Or I moved out of the friend zone. They are being Buddy for Study. Oh, well. Dream big and work hard, hell yeah, buddy. All right, we're getting lost in the sauce here.

I'd like to return to the food space. Great food pun. Show me the food. Okay, here's the number one question on here. The most recent, rather. Number one, what are the benefits of drinking warm water every night? Every morning. Every morning, sorry.

I'm sick. I have hangtonitis. No, you don't. I heard he has hangtonitis. Where's the number from? How did they end up with a number in here? It says one. I know, but why?

Why? Because it's the first of several. But if you go to the parent question here, it's not there. They're still working on it. Where did that come from is the question. That's a parent question. Well, when two questions love each other very much. Right into that one, Claire.

I don't know if it's because you have hang tenitis right now, but you've got to watch your back. Okay, I'll explain it. I'll explain it. So for real, on these spaces, when someone asks a question, you can then put it on a chorus space, right? So this is like usually when we see something, it's from elsewhere, but someone has shared it to the space.

so the parent question is like the original question and it'll have all the answers on it so it's like the og of questions sort of the godfather and when two parent questions of each other now to discuss the question for a moment what are the benefits of drinking warm water in the morning apparently and this is what i've heard there is a superstition in parts of the world that you can't give your children cold water why yeah i don't know why but people think it's like deadly huh yeah weird this is just something i've learned as a chinese spy recently cold water cold air the chinese people do not fuck with cold it's bad for your system we do not how do you say we in cantonese i can't say right now because i'm recording you say it like

yeah we we say it we just say a regular we just say a regular style we don't do weird stuff over there in the people's republic but uh yeah there's no answers on this yet but i think that's because the benefits are manifest and it is quite obvious to all that it gets you wet and it gets you right well people i do i do remember hearing that because like going from florida so it's like you're always like finding hacks of how to deal with like the the compressive weather and they say that even if you're hot, you should drink warm water because that actually regulates your body

to make you feel you'll actually feel colder, but there's no way it's true. I really like cold water. I like cold water and I want the water to be cold in my mouth and in my hand. I like the shock of having it. It tastes hella good. I kind of like how it hurts your teeth

a little bit. You think the warm water and warm weather idea is a societal prank? So they're just pranking people? I think living in Florida is a big prank. Jeremy! I'm sort of Bill Maher mode today.

Alan looks very offended. Dude, we're getting pretty club random in here right now. I'm just drinking whiskey. Knocking things over. It is 11.46 a.m. Jeremy is hammered. It's dark outside. Baby.

don't call don't call the audience baby let's let's go back to the food space i'd like to see the other questions on food okay question number two what is the healthiest variety of rice oh don't ask me that that's gotta be jasmine right i don't think so i think the browner the better okay you want those whole grains right gotcha gotcha these questions are nothing what should i eat in summer for weight gain oh you should eat probably as many jasmine rices as you can Well, I think jasmine rice is good for, like, energy dispersed or something. I read something one time. But weight gain, burgers.

Now is the time to go crazy on your jasmine rice knowledge. Well, because I looked up what I was having issues with getting tired all the time. And I read, and I like to eat rice, have a rice cooker. So I was like, what's the best rice to have for energy? And the website, Quora, told me jasmine rice. And this cured your depression? Yeah, that and the Wellbutrin that I put inside the rice. I understand.

It looks like rice, actually. Get your energy up. Yeah, for weight gain, just fucking eat some burgers, man. Weight gain is really just... It's a volume question more than anything. You really just got to get food coming in. This is a good question. What is the best way to use a baguette for breakfast?

Mouth. Sensually. Through mouth. Breakfast. Do you want to see what the one answer is? I would love to. What is the best way to use a baguette for breakfast? We have an answer from Deepesh Nanavare.

Claire, would you like to read it? Slice it, spread butter over it, and flip it on the griddle. Pop it. Should be on medium heat or else it will get burned up. Take heavy bottom pan, a little butter, add onion, chop, spoonful, saute. We'll add spoonful of tomatoes and green chili. Add baked beans, five spoons. Mmm, seasoned well

Add cheddar and dash of parmesan Take one sunny egg side up Flip up the crispy butter bag And put dense baked beans over it Top it with one egg sunny side up Take a bite, thanks me If it'll blow up your mind Thanks, Depeche

That rocks You know, Aston answered And that guy's a chef, look at his picture You think that's really Depeche? He's drinking out of a beaker I don't think it's really him I like him answering this question. I think that is him.

He's on foods a lot, and it appears he's a chef. He's wearing a chef's hat. One of his three questions ever is, does the world talk about men's mental health? Not yet. Sorry, Deepesh. It's one of the great forbidden things. I don't know how else to fit this in the podcast, but this morning I saw a guy in a full stovepipe hat. Oh, really?

Like an Abraham Lincoln hat. Whoa. like a foot tall off his head and he was walking around like it was normal style. It's Halloween. It is Halloween. Is that right? Halloween time. It is New York. I think he could just be

Abraham Lincoln. There's a couple in my neighborhood I see every now and then who wear old timey suits. Oh really? Yeah, like all the time. Like Dapper Dandy type people? Yeah, yeah. Are they dead? 1920s style. What's up? If they're dead and they're a ghost, they could just be wearing an appropriate style suit.

there used to be a um a group i forget what their names were but it was it's not dapper dandy but it was like dapper group or something they would come to uh they would come to um bigfoot lodge sometimes uh this bar back in la where we used to have a show and uh they would come on the show night one time and they were just being set like they're just being loud and in the back and stuff so i remember having to go up to them and just be like hey can you guys like go outside or go somewhere else and they're like we dressed up to do this and we're just like okay that doesn't mean you still have to leave and he's like wearing a little bow tie he's like we come here to do this okay man chill we're gonna put on our fanciest clothes and act out yeah go to disneyland

until we're asked to leave the premises that can be fun to do I mean that's a that's a themed night yeah putting on a bow tie putting on a bow tie

it's bow tie night I can't do it it's too hard for me it's bow tie night I had to wear a bow tie one time for a wedding and I had to have someone put it on for me

I would love to see Jamie in a bow tie it was really sad you'd look like a little butler what were you saying Claire we cut you off no I was just gonna say

remember swingers like the swingers era yeah yeah baby still do Little baby, pretty mama Mama money, you're a bear Bear, you're money, baby

Which era is this? I feel like I'm having a stroke 94, something like that They dressed up All these guys dressed up in Hollywood As like swinger daddios Yeah And women dressed up as dancey mommy mas

It was a time when the Brian Setzer Orchestra Was all you needed Cherry poppin' daddies Cherry poppin' big bad voodoo And squirrel nuts Zippies. Zippies. This is a beautiful world I would love to explore sometime.

Just go down on Old Vermont Street. You can step into the Dresden and you'll be there. You'll be there. And so if they're swingers, then they're making love. Is this correct? Or is it like the other kind of swinging, like swing dance? Yes, they're swing dancers. They're not all having sex with each other.

I thought they were swapping partners and swinging. No. No, they were dorks. Where I'm from? Yeah, they weren't cool like swingers. No, they weren't in the pineapple lifestyle. Yeah, Jon Favreau hadn't directed Iron Man yet, so he was still a loser.

They all play themselves. They all play real versions of themselves. No one would fuck him because he hadn't directed Iron Man. They didn't think he could create a metal suit, which I assume the director had to make, and that's part of the challenge. That's what the director does, right? The director makes everything.

He makes the props. Yeah. I understand. Spielberg made the shark. Yeah. That's true. That's why Marvel movies are the best movies. The hardest props to make.

Well, these are the spaces for the weekend. Check out food sometime if you'd like to see some food. Oh, there's a question about illegal aliens. Great. Oh. And Trumpophobes. Oh, wow. Kind of back and forth discourse there.

A lot going on on foods.quora.com. Check it out. Let's go to our first question. Foods for thought. in our new segment cuisine with a q oh that's funny thank you thank you claire alex wanted to call it clued i did i i'm hoping to punch up i've been very busy that's pretty good too actually no don't give him that cuisines that sounds like something your baby would say can i have some quid that is what she says she's asked for quid she thinks food is quid

i'm reading this question i ate 36 grilled cheese sandwiches and now i'm stuck on the toilet hell yeah brother am i going to die oh yeah brother that was real posting yes you're going to die this is like an actual question from a real fucking human being and everyone laughs at it you guys on the toilet on quora yes i think that's exactly what's happening Hold on, the guy's name who answered. Steve Brisket. Steve Brisket responds, been there before. Steve Brisket actually is quite bad at the person who asked this question,

who he assumes is a troll, a nasty troll. Wow, he says, 65K questions and you are now scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren't you? No, you didn't eat that. No, you are not stuck on the toilet. Yes, you are going to die. Everyone does. booyah. This is a straw for brisket.

You're going to live forever. You're going to die. Whoever sent us this question, I don't know if it was you who found this, Alex. I found this one. Okay, you searched dying on the toilet. Now go and try and find a life somewhere instead of spending your time spamming this site

with your ridiculousness. You know what? Downvote Steve Brisket. Steve Brisket is from London. Hold on, I'm hitting the button. Oh, yeah, that comes across now. anglo spotted anglo spotted spotted you found your ass bloody london normal guy with normal interests he has 13 000 answers so it's a real glass houses situation attacking this troll four

years ago big into atheism that's this thing he knows about atheism and he says uh we'll answer questions on anything but get pretty annoyed to some of the idiotic anti-atheist questions Oh. Well, you're on the wrong website, buddy. Yeah. You got to find a new safe space for atheists. This is not where you want to be. I mean, here is where we discuss food things

and if you will die after you had too much grilled cheese sandwiches. 36 grilled cheese sandwiches. I do think, like, all joking aside, would be a very dangerous amount of cheese to consume at once. I think your body would reject it. I don't think you'd die. I think it's, like, two large pizzas or something like that. 36 grilled cheese sandwiches?

Which is quite a lot. It's like a crave case. It's also like the physics of it. Like grilled cheese is something you kind of need to eat like right away before it congeals. So it's like, is this a straight like someone's like working the line and like shovel it into your plate or mouth right away and keep it going? Like a seven situation where they're trying to like fill you up? This is why I dip them in water. Oh, yeah.

So I can just slurp them down. Oh, maybe he's a competitive eater. Or maybe it's that bear. Maybe it's the bear that went up against Kobayashi or whatever. Oh, is it the bear? Is that a guy? Is that one of the eating guys? Kobayashi?

No, not Kobayashi. No, he's talking about a fucking bear. A literal bear? There was one where they did the bear, and I don't know if the bear ate more. Right. He mauled a few people. You thought this was a food athlete who's nicknamed the bear. I genuinely assumed it was like a big hairy guy from Russia who was like,

And against Kobayashi this year is the bear. And another thing, I'm gay. That's his signature calling card. I'm going to slurp these down like penises, he says. Just like a real bear. If you let the cheese and grilled cheese get cold, then you have a cold cheese sandwich, which is like a provision that you might have

in the English Civil War or something. Like Hamtack or whatever it's called. Hard tag What's that, ham tag? Joey Chestnut has kind of a Steve Brisket-ass name Yeah He does Yeah, that's true

He does And I wonder what he thinks about God Chestnut? Joey Chestnut? Yeah Is this common knowledge? I don't know He seems like a religious man

Does he? I think you have to be the competitive E Yeah He either seems like a religious man or like an annoying atheist Joey Chestnut? Yeah Joey Chestnut's very red, white, and true. I'd be surprised if he was an atheist, although I am open to it, I guess.

I looked up Joey Chestnut God. Uh-huh. And what have you found? So far, nothing. But I was kind of hoping he was just like after every time he eats 400 hot dogs. He points out to the sky. That's for you, big guy. You wanted me to do this?

He's from San Jose, which is, as we all know, a godless place. So I don't know. And maybe that's why he's trying to fulfill the role of the consumer of all things. Well, I can't find anything about his religion, unfortunately. Oh, yeah. I guess Jesus did make all the bread and the loaves and the fishes. Maybe that was at a competitive eating event. No way can you eat all of these fishes.

Yeah, when Jesus went to Coney Island, because he was from Long Island. Jesus was crucified at Far Rockaway. He had hangtonitis. It was kind of a mercy to him to put him out of his pain. Oh, that's a cool hat in the back there. This is from 2009. That's how I know it's Joey Chestnut. I got to say.

Winning the belt. We're looking at a picture. He kind of has a hot dog skin. That's what I was going to say is at his best, Joey Chestnut is not looking great. He looks bad there. I guess he did just eat a bunch of shit. And it's also, I think they do it on July 4th.

so it's like, sure, swamp-ass city. He always looks kind of awful because he's in the middle of eating 400 hot dogs. Yeah, and I say this as a pale snow demon myself, but he looks like he eats 400 hot dogs. An embarrassing, sicko American imperialist. And he's a dog himself for the war machine. Let's move on to the next question

because I think we've decided no, you won't die. Okay. And also that you're a nasty troll. Yeah, get out of here, troll. Why do people seem to have a negative opinion of gas station food? You know, a few bad apples. Oh, at the gas station, yeah. They spoil the whole barrel.

I've had a lot of great meals at gas stations. Have you? Name them. Well, here's the thing is you just got to know where you are. It's like beef jerky night if you're there is my fucking point. Don't order from the deli at a gas station because it's not their priority is maintaining a food environment. At least, if you go to other countries and stuff, you can go to a train station and they'll

have an actual restaurant there that you can eat at or something. Alex is like, educate, travel the world. Do you go to another country for once? I don't know, China? Broaden your horizons. Go to Chongqing. Zhanggu. Go to Zhanggu and try their gas station food.

i think you'll be quite impressed but here in the devil's america uh oftentimes our grilled cheese sandwiches are left out and they become hard tech oh yeah all right bite it like bucky's or whatever right oh bucky's has a good reputation yeah are they a gas station as well yeah yeah well they really do it all yeah but i think that's like the the one positive one i guess there's like um well then it's like 7-eleven it's like you there's some things you can get in some things you can't get and you got to know and you like anything on that rotating rack oh yeah that's always the taquitos that's always a um that's a real risk for the listener i wonder what that is if it comes from the supply or just the conditions of rotating on that sinister rack all day

and just witnessing everything at the 7-eleven was originally a torture device it's 360 it's just too much jeremy is correct before they put taquitos on it they did try protestants would rotate all day long hundreds of years old and then they would eat them they got a big one at guantanamo bay sorry go on i've been good i've been uh to gas stations in like you know parts of the the great american south and uh their gas station is known for like their fried chicken or they're like po boys or their whatever like they like the like specific gas state like family-run gas stations is it southern hospitality it's basically that they do things a little differently down there

If you go to a gentleman's gas station, you should expect good food. For the listener, while doing that, Claire tied her sweatshirt strings around her head. She's sick. She can't help it. The ocean took your good health. I'm beginning to think this is just a regional issue, so that's going to be my answer to this. Regional issue. If you're having gas station food in the Northeast, you're asking for trouble.

uh we have an answer from ryan hawkins who is a former heavy plant mechanic i don't really know what that means because most times it's overcooked deep fried rubbish that's been sitting in a bay marie all day and once eaten be prepared to sit on the toilet half an hour later there is still a number of dying breed stops still run the old way with proper made to order food. They are awesome, and I always stop, have a yarn, and help them survive.

Thank you, Ryan Hawkins. Upvote him, please. Give him a big up arrow on that one. I want to fuck him. He actually lives in Australia. Oh, I'm sorry. Perth.

I hit Anglo spotted on your ass. So sorry about that, sir. I regret doing it. Well, technically. He's answering. Someone said, is 44 PSI too much for tires? He says, nah. Nah.

Nah. Nah. We all ran to say it. He also hasn't buzzed in four years, so we can assume his tire exploded, killing him instantly. Well, good for him. Let's see if there's any other questions, or answers, rather. Now, using Quora is almost impossible to find the answers to the questions.

madam it engineer great name says uh i do not have negative opinion late night driving and needing a pick me a pickup those expensive items are great winky face so the it engineer i'm sorry madam she's trying to fuck us she's talking about drugs the expensive items so like the samurai dick pills whichever you fucking chung lee on them they're one of the more expensive options at a gas station. Or a lot lizard. Ah. Lot lizard.

Is there anywhere in the world where a lot lizard is like a prestigious position? Yeah. Gas station. It's like a competition to be the best of the lot. Of the lizards.

Competitive lot lizarding. Queen of the lizards. Computer migration printers. We're on Madam IT Engineer's page. Northeastern Illinois University. she has five questions why are there so many jealous women in the uk jealous of mm and wish her less than nice wishes that's a great question mm is for madam it engineer come on come on now i'm just playing you're playing though i'm just joking around she has a lot of good questions

like why would white why would white male it and managers in michigan hire an uneducated unqualified white male passing over professional experience and educated black woman, I'm asking for my qualified black female friends. So did this happen or this is just... This clearly happened to her or someone she knows. And that's why she quit Quora after that. She's Madam IT

Engineer. Madam IT Engineer, you go too far. We dress up to do this. We dress up to do this is going to be stuck in my head forever. it's so good in any situation what is we dress up to do this oh yeah the people with the bow ties

he's a short guy too so it's really awesome yeah that's awesome it's all been leading up to this i guess i'll find the person who asked this question as well all right jeremy is hunting it's matthew murdoch oh my god himself the daredevil of hell's kitchen wilson fisks arch foe he doesn't really have any how long has the earth been flat i guess is his first question what would happen if i killed jessica that's what it says can't i see why can't i see but i can hear pretty much in a way that makes it so i see things that's a great question that would be a good we can ask that if i'm gonna follow matthew murdoch okay i love his superheroing yeah shout out to I love when you did the old boy fight.

He did do that. That was cool. All right. Enough references to the TV show Daredevil. Yeah, check out Daredevil. The TV show? Well, yeah. Sponsor of the show, Daredevil.

I mean, you're a comic book character, Claire. I know, but I can't believe we've watched the TV show. It was pretty big when it came out. It was a big deal when it happened. I saw a few episodes, so what? Also, it's about a guy who's extremely Catholic, which is Alex's thing. It's important that we support him.

His main thing is that he's a Catholic superhero. Half of the show is him going to church and being like, I'm so sorry I beat up all those goons. The Holy Father gets so little respect in Hollywood. It's that and boondock saints. Yeah, I was going to say. My two favorite media properties. This is a good court of question.

This goes to the pure spirit of the website. Which is pedophilia. No, no, no. Read it. This is just a generic question anyone could answer. It's, what flavor cake do little boys like for their birthday? Yum, yum. Now, if I could think of something.

I'm trying to trap one. No, it's not in there. Jeremy has added that. No, it says, as a friend. I'm just thinking that, like, if there's one demographic who would be happy to answer this question, it is little boys themselves. Ask little boys their cake flavor. I like ice cream cake. I like the yummy kind.

I like to eat it. I like it at a ball pit. My cat has woken up. Little boys like it at the ball pit. You can't sing it like that in Drake voice. You can't sing about young children as Drake. I'm quoting. It's okay if it's a quote.

We have one answer, and that's by Reza Sherry, who is an attorney. It's got to be Reza. I'm sorry, Reza. Thank you. The Reza, the Jezza. As a Jezza myself, it's got to be Reza. The old dirty bastard. Okay.

Reza says, my mother ran a large childcare service for many years, so I'm something of an expert on kids' birthdays. Cool. A kids' birthdays expert here. Clown here. First of all, the frosting is more important than the cake. Sick. Can't tell you how many times I've seen kids eat all the frosting and totally ignore the cake itself.

Now, my wife does this. Does this mean she is at heart a little boy? Yes. Interesting. She's a frosting queen? She's somewhat of a frosting queen. In a way that troubles me sexually. Frosting queen.

You are the frosting. As far as flavors, really plain vanilla and chocolate are the only choices. is below the age of 10, avoid delicious cakes. Like cinnamon swirl, red velvet, coconut. Between the two, younger kids definitely prefer yellow cake and start developing a taste for chocolate a little later. That's so mean to say like that, though. Avoid good ones.

Yeah, I mean, they're all delicious cakes. Serve them swill. Give them gruel. I know, children, my mother had a cake business. And there's a comment here from Annie Smokin. who says, what about banana cake with chocolate frosting? What about serving kids the worst cake in the world?

Annie, what are you smoking? Come on, man. You are right into that one with your name being that. Your picture is insane. Dude, that's crazy you would put this picture up of yourself. Wait, we need to describe this.

It's just how she looks. This is an audio podcast. Bangs are such a dangerous game. She looks like she's in pain, too. It's just like, yeah. There's a lot of elements. Okay, so Annie's picture. Claire's against this misogynistic trend.

Is that misogynistic? I don't know. I can't tell anymore. I think it's just sort of a bad. It's just a bad picture. It is a bad photo. She looks confused. No one is saying Annie is unlovable.

No one is saying that. What we're saying is her picture choice is insane. There's got to be a better picture of you out there, Annie. Annie's picture is her hand in a claw shape in front of her face, blocking bangs that are spaced every two inches in wisps. And that is across her head. And then her smile is similar to the other day, a kind of Wallace and Gromit style, stretched out sideways.

In a way, like she didn't know it was going to be the picture and then was like, surely this won't end up on Quora. i'm happy to have surely i won't end up on a podcast as long as jeremy doesn't find this i should be okay surely i won't be dunked on by some snarky comedians i'm gonna do a minute by minute breakdown of my pfp so no one will call me a dirty american yes you are but a yankee dog and she's asking about uh the name abraham she's answering about it the question is is Abe a nickname for Abraham in German like it is in English? What about Gabe and Gabriel?

And she says, I like just Abe. It's the best. But you could do Abraham. Also Abraham is popular among Spanish-Mexican people. There could have been some Abes in Germany. My Canadian-Jewish great-grandfather was Abe. But due to tragic altering of our history, there aren't Abes in Germany.

De-nautification ruined the Abes. They erased our proud history of Abes. That was the big thing with the Holocaust is they made you not have the name Abe anymore. They have come for apes. If only there was a country where Abraham was like a pretty prominent name in its history. If only there was one country.

I'm going to comment on it. One in the world. All my apes are gone. All my apes gone. Got her ass, dude. She's going to love that. She loves memes. And she looks like she still uses Quora, so she will probably see this.

And hopefully find the podcast episode where we roast her ass. No. Annie, what are you smoking? Annie, we love you. We'd love to have you on sometime. We'd love to have you on the show. Go back to the flavor cake question. It says there's two answers here.

We read both of them. No, what was the comment by Annie? Oh, you're right. There is one by a bot. There's six that were not fit for television. uh now this is downvoted but it is the correct answer which is little kids like every flavor which is fucking true that needs improvement apparently what because it's too fucking real holy somebody has attached a cake zone image of a copyrighted mouse hey not anymore you know what

we're gonna make sure we need to pay the the fee on this one so we can really use it Let's give the money to Cakes' Zone Yeah, the money for this episode Will be donated to Cakes' Zone This is a Mickey Mouse Who went through the washing machine This is a Mickey Mouse Who's been attacked by a cat

He's somewhat all fucked up And I guess you could give this to a child And be like, legally you don't owe anyone anything Listen, Mickey Mouse Bangs are a difficult thing Do you wanna What is the answer above the Mickey Mouse? Oh, the answer is, as per my experience, Little Boys always loves chocolate and Black Forest vanilla.

You can order a variety of design cakes for a little boy. Now, that is the opposite of what we heard before, which is that you cannot order children delicious cakes. Yeah, but these are also, like, trying to sell you on them, right? Like, this person also says chocolate, but then it's like, if you want cakes, go to BBL Foods. If you want a cake machines. Yeah, sorry, cake machines, please visit BrazilianButlerFoods.com. Yeah, I'm like, is it talking about caking up? Oh, yeah, maybe.

Oh, wait, so this is like if your boy's like a surfboard down there? Yeah, and you want to get... Claire will appreciate that she has hanktonitis. It's resonating with me. I guess you could just jam like a science into him. What did you guys like as little boys? What did you... Dinosaur?

Dinosaur cake? Yeah, dinosaur. You ever had that oatmeal with the eggs in it? The little dinosaur eggs I was about to say Jeremy was very thin as a child There was this oatmeal For young boys you can get oatmeal

That has dinosaur eggs in it And when you put it in the hot water they hatch It was the coolest thing you could do So what is the egg made out of? Cinnamon or something? What's that flavor I guess I care most about I don't know Egg flavor

It looked like this And then when you cooked it The dinosaur came out, and it was a dinosaur. That's crazy. The idea is supposed to be that you give life, but then consume it, and that's the cycle of all things. It teaches you how to be a god. That's right.

These who once walked the earth before man. And they're in my bowl. Now your ass is in my bowl. They are small to me, and I am large. My mouth consumes all everything. This is just like Jeremy. That's how I used to talk as a kid. It's different now.

Wow, that's a really interesting form of oatmeal, Jeremy. Thank you. I liked Power Rangers a lot. I would have Power Ranger things. Power Rangers were so cool. I want to know what flavor of cake you liked as little boys. You want to know for real? I didn't like cake as a kid.

Sorry. I've seen it coming answer. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. Ew, food. I have eating disorders. Or did as a child Remember if you're a new listener to the show That Jeremy is artificially large

I had to growth hormone They used Rita Repulsa's grow ray And I had to take medicine to eat more Because it was too hard for me Oh yeah they made me eat Those carnation things all the time Like there's some like Edible arrangements

No no no like What is it called that old people have Oh My doctor prescribed me ice cream every night. I had to drink whole milk. They made me drink whole milk. I didn't have any of these problems. I love food so much. It was really hard for my little sister

who wanted to eat ice cream every night as well. And was quite mad about it. They were like, you'll die. But now I'm normal. Because you had ice cream for dinner every night for you makes so much sense to me. It was for dessert. Thank you very much. You had to eat the dinner too.

I liked red velvet. My grandmother would make red velvet cake and I liked it but not with cream cheese frosting with I forget the name of the frosting, but it's more of like a buttercream frosting. A more appropriate frosting. And that's very advanced for you as a little boy because little boys do not like delicious things. Red Velvet also just is chocolate.

Yeah, but it's red. It's a sophisticated chocolate. I'm ready to move on to the next question. No, we have to go to the question asker and see who it is. It's anonymous. It's anonymous. We are Legion. So original, okay, first of all, this question was edited by someone somehow.

Sergei! The Russians! The original question was, what flavor cake can I decide for my brother's in his birthday party? Which is a much better question. I understand why it was edited because the English is indecipherable. Yeah, but it's for a brother.

It makes more sense to be like, my brother's having a birthday, what should I get him? As opposed to, what cakes do little boys like? Yeah, it's too open-ended. Question two, what cakes will last in a cage? That's not the question. Okay, here's another one.

Why is my hot dog so yummy with my tummy? And then there's a big thing that says, if you want to kill yourself, please call this number. That's crazy. The suicide hotline does pop up under this one. Why? Why is that there? This is awesome, man.

Not everyone has a hot dog, so they just want to fucking end it all. What is happening? Also, I love this. It's like, by the way, if you want to kill yourself, shoot this person an email. Fire up the email and be in jail. Subject line, I want to kill you.

Why is my hot dog so yummy with my tummy? I have a gun. I'm under self-harm. I guess. If you can answer this before EOD, I have no drive to live. Not a fun job is just being the suicide email hotline. Oh, no. For the hot dog guy?

Yeah. All the Quora redirects are really brutal. And this is by Joey Chestnut? We don't know yet. We're going to look it up. What I like about this one is that somebody gets so fucking amped about having the hot dog, they forget it's so yummy in my tummy. It's not with your tummy.

It's in it. It's also tagged as self-harm. That's why. Are you laughing with me or in me kind of thing? Why is my hot dog so yummy with my tummy? It can be a form of self-harm is why as well. Now there's a math professor here saying your tummy has nothing to do with it.

Your hot dog is yummy with the taste buds in your damn mouth. That is a fact. I mean, get as mad as you want, but your liberal tears won't save you from where you're tasting the hot dog. You know, they do say that every hot dog you eat takes like 11 minutes off your life or something. Really?

So I guess that is sort of a self-harm element after all. Bad news for the glizzy gulpers down there. I wish that wasn't the case. This guy, Russell, has never asked another question. He lives in San Antonio. He got what he was looking for. Yeah. 11 minutes off your life.

I think that's worth peppering in a hot dog every now and then. Oh, yeah. Come on. 11 minutes. How old are you? You want to burn out and fade away. Right. Everyone in my family gets dementia, so it's like 11 minutes.

I won't even know. Yeah. They're fading away. because they didn't have enough hot dogs. My grandma loves hot dogs. Jeremy's doctor actually used to prescribe him hot dogs every night because he was living too large.

I think people with dementia would probably be really good competitive eaters because they keep forgetting if they had hot dog. They're only trying to have one hot dog. That's how you push your boundaries. You don't even remember you have them. That's hot dog mindset.

That's hot dog mindset. Change your diet, change your life. First of all, slam that like button. Slam that subscribe button. That's hot dog mindset. We're going to be like one of those men's influencers, but for eating hot dogs more. How did I become so big?

A million little sausages. I'm really jacked, and I have a 10-foot beard. We're going to make Jeremy jacked. All right, let's read another question here. Do you want to do a quilosophy? Yeah, up next we have quilosophy here. These are our philosophy questions about today's great questions. Killing spree.

Oh, fuck me. You fool. Why are they the same colors? You fool. Hitting the killing spree button when you meant the quilosophy button. They're the same colors. They're next to each other. If time had a flavor, what would it taste like?

Yo. And then right under this dog, there's the craziest hamburger picture. There's like a foot tall hamburger underneath this. I feel like it would have to be something that, like, a flavor that kind of progresses. Oh, like a wine? I say wine. That's a good answer. Wine.

A fine wine. A fine wine. My dear. Time had a flavor. Also, look at these related questions. We dress up to do this. If words had a flavor, what would they taste like? If days had a taste, what would Tuesday taste like?

If languages had flavors, what would they taste like? I'm so sick of these content spammers who are just trying to get their clout up by asking what time would taste like. What's one flavor of time that's got you looking like this? Also, wait, this guy says he worked at the future? No, you didn't.

Former tech at the future. That's outrageous. Claire, what were you saying? Sorry, go ahead, Claire. I was just going to say, I would think Tuesday would taste like string cheese. Cool. That makes sense, too.

I agree with that. Sure. You know what I mean? I haven't had string cheese in a dog's age. Not to be like a huge piece of shit who sucks, but what if he means thyme like the T-H-I-Y-M-E, T-H-Y-M-E. Well, that's not what they wrote down. And it's a very simple question.

What if thyme was a flavor? I understand what you're saying because then it would just be itself. And the answer is itself. It would taste like a thyme. It would taste like thyme. I guess you could say it could also, like you could say like it tastes like sand because of an hourglass. Oh, you know what?

There's a clever way out of this, too, is you could say that thyme would taste like space because they are, in fact, the same fabric of the same thing. I think it tastes like chocolate pudding. I don't know why you'd say that. I think it tastes like little boy cake. You can't just call it little boy cake. I'm making a little boy cake.

Am I easy bake oven? It's for a little boy. I like the idea that it progresses like wine. Yeah, well, it was your idea. Well, but we came to it as a group. Oh, look, someone from Brooklyn answered this. We could have her on the show. It's Emily Hope.

Let's look at her bangs. It's our favorite segment of the podcast, Judging Women. There we go. It's the theme of the show. The image is too dark, unfortunately, but it does look like a Brooklyn-ass apartment. It's just Bang Bros. It's Bang Bros, where we judge your bangs.

Bang Bros, never seen it. I assume it was a big haircut-based show. Yeah. It's married men being bros. She is in the space Beautiful Nine, so I have to assume that she's a beautiful nine. Oh, out of ten, pretty good. Yeah, it is pretty high.

Congratulations. I can't see you because of the light in your picture, but I assume you're very beautiful. Do you want to read this Emily Hope answer, Claire? I think it would be something like a lemon sour patch cake. throughout life you go through these phases such stages where you experience moments that are either sweet that make you genuinely happy and then there are times you reach low points or points that make you feel sad or disappointed or even mad and you feel sour lol my favorite is

watermelon good answer emily good answer emily hope and she was requested by theresa so theresa I was like, I got to get my friend Emily in here. Thank you, Teresa, biohacker. Yo, my friend Emily is a 9 out of 10. I got to know what flavor she thinks thyme is. She has 8,000 questions. Debra also says it would taste like lime jello. Olivia Clark says lemonade and grilled lamb.

Everyone says sweet yet sour. I don't know where this is coming from. Someone says Jelly belly jelly beads Thank you Susan Newman Hello Newman Earl says apple

And then he says the speed of light is fixed But time is variable And apples are the fruit with the most cultivated varieties Okay Kind of like a smart answer It tastes like an apple But depending on your frame of reference The variety of apple will be different

Do you think you're smart Earl? You think you're a smart girl? You think you're an engineer with Expin Nuclear Food Consulting Supply Chain Management seven years ago? Oh, so you can read management. I can read management. That one you can read, but you can't

read engineer. You know what? Management MNGT is a strange way of doing it because it isn't MGMT. Is that the band? They don't want people to think it's time to pretend over here. He's probably worried we'll think he's in that band. Yeah. Close one.

don't worry i like this guy says salt salt now this is from tricky buckley who has a cartman abby and so they're kind of a twisted individual um everyone has different ideas on this this is an ai answer what a fascinating and imaginative question if time could be tasted its flavor might be a complex blend of emotions and experiences here's a possible interpretation and then they have a list yeah that i've i'm beginning to think that you know it's ai when there's a list yeah that's my jeff foxworthy style assessment you might be an ai and there's another one below it almost identical in terms of like ah interesting and then a list which makes me also if someone compliments you on your question

that's ai for sure because on the internet they're like shut up bitch no one would ever compliment you i think it's like a sour patch kid ai is like good question bitch okay here's a question you're so smart what would you say if you were in a grocery store and somebody said if you need all those groceries you have mental problems this is my greatest fear this happened to this person clearly you'd say i dressed up for this i didn't pan down you're wearing a beautiful suit okay you're not wearing anything This is also written like a Jeff Foxworthy joke, though. If you need all these groceries.

You might have mental problems. It's not even a choice of groceries. It's just that you would need a lot of groceries. You must have bipolar and you're off your vacation. Or a big family. I'm Italian. Is that a disorder? Yeah.

Another anti-Italian question from Corey.com. They're all over the place. What do you need all that sauce for? Nobody needs that many tomatoes. You're crazy. You're crazy, mister. They ought to lock you up. Yeah, honestly, if anybody comments on my groceries,

I would be very insecure about that. This is what I don't like that much about Trader Joe's is that they're told to comment on your groceries. I hate that S. It sucks balls, and they'll be like, oh, making a chili tonight, huh? And it's like, shut up. You don't know my life.

Are you sure they tell them to do that, or are people just trying to talk with you because you're so cute? It's hard for me to say, but I've heard from other people that that's what it is. one time I ordered I bought very little at Trader Joe's and the guy was like that's it

fuck you I have the other ingredients sir at Trader Joe's they tell you to ask about their meal and then give them a little kiss one time the person checking me out was like oh you're like it was kind of like hangout stuff I was having people over or something

she was like oh you're having a good night after this I'm like yeah yeah whatever what about you and she goes I can't wait to go home and get drunk and she kind of realized she said it like she's like oh no i was like hell yeah i do whatever that's awesome what if you were her boss in disguise an undercover boss and i'd be like i'll drink to that you may have thought i was hanging out later based on these chips but i'm actually firing employees i'm actually gordon ramsay and i'm also the boss of a trader judge

for some reason you know to get drunk i hear uh i i used to when i lived in manhattan i used to there was a bodega near me where every time I bought alcohol like beer or whatever the guy would be like drinking again, huh? And it was brutal.

I think people just talk to you. I guess. I don't get this kind of feedback. I did have one lady That's not true at all. You talk to everyone

in your neighborhood. There was this one lady at the liquor store near me at my old department who like I could not have a conversation with but he just had opposite personalities

and like we'd come to like a frank misunderstanding and I would have to leave in silence. That's what I'm talking about. Alex's life is like a fucking Pokemon game

where he like talks to everyone in town to like get secrets and then talks to them again yeah in case there's something new see if they have a new thing I have a Mr. Mime

that's how I further the plot with them I've definitely talked about it on this podcast but like the one time we were at the pizza place in your neighborhood

and you were like how's the back did you go to the doctor yet it was crazy you're friends with all the homeless people you know the coffee people that guy was trying

to find me a new apartment and I was like I'm gonna do it by myself You don't need to do this for me. You don't really know that much about me other than what pizzas I get. You can tell a lot from the pizza a guy gets. I can tell this.

You're very wealthy. You got a lot of money. Based on the pizzas you're ordering from me. Gold flake pizzas. You got a good head on your shoulders. So back to the mental stores. Yes. Mental problems.

The mental store. Hey, I hate when I go there. I'd like to go to the mental store and get a new noggin after that flub. Well, we have some answers here if someone were to comment on your mental problems. And the top answer is from Amanda Beverage. It's a real fucking Kojima-ass episode, dude. The fucking names on these today. What would you say if you're in the mental store and somebody said,

if you need all those mentals, you have grocery. All right, sorry. i don't know what i would say if we could all settle down i'm reading a man if you need help please email joe at whatever that website was this is the answer my sinful side would say would want to say something sarcastic and mean like not as mental as judging someone based on the amount of groceries they buy or is it mental of me to feed my family i love to say i would say something aggressive like that after um my more respectful response would be i really hate grocery shopping so i try to get enough groceries for the month which in my case is true i would just let go

of the mental problems remark to make something out of nothing true amanda i would argue that they have made something out of nothing and now you have to fight for your life you need to sort them down like a bev yeah why don't you go ahead and take them down amanda for those listening Also, it is beverage, B-E-V-E-R-I-D-G-E. Beveridge. Beveridge. The chopper went down on Beveridge. George W. Bush beverage.

GP says, I would say, did you know I just got out yesterday? Uh-oh. Oh, cheeky fella. Six upvotes. Huge. Andriana has commented below that to say, laughing emoji, laughing emoji, laughing emoji, laughing emoji, thumbs up. Huge.

That's because they're dying out here from that hilarious response. And then X Egghead. Experience Egghead. Says, A, I would act like I did not hear it and move on with my life. B, I would calmly look them in the eye and tell them I have three wives, 17 children, and five grandchildren. They all seem to eat a lot. Okay, so this guy's UCB trained.

c i would ask them which of these do you think i should take back or d i'd say want to see my gun you should say that one yeah say d tell them you'll kill them with your guns point them point them in the chest like to touch them with your finger in their chest and say i'll kill you with my gun buying a lot of groceries today huh mister i will kill you the prompt is that you have mental problems. This guy also says, Ken K. Gordon. Gordon, like gourd is a fruit,

so that counts. Says, funny. People say the exact same thing about firearms and the people who own them. It wouldn't surprise me at all if that's what you're getting. That's what you're getting.

If that's what you're getting at. That's that. He studied because he's nervous. That's that. Nervous, Ken. He went to the school of hard knocks. Well, he studied idiocy. He kind of looks a lot like Mr. Wonderful.

He kind of does Mr. Dumberful I think he looks like Tony Soprano I guess to make everyone happy He's a cross between Tony Soprano And the Penguin Mr. Wonderful

Whose name is Kevin And he's in some great spaces like What Would the Police Do And Soldiers PTSD Go ahead and click on What Would the Police Do Real quick because this could be good And we should probably save it save it save it for later

the police do yeah one is a taste this is the most recent one I've been watching a lot of body cam videos where cops have to put up with incredibly rude insulting uncooperative or downright dangerous people what kind of any training to the cops get for this kind of interact the great question they kill

them they shoot them they turn that cam off they beat them with sticks and stuff I turn my cam off hey cool Should we do a is that okay question? We should.

Call it an episode? Go ahead and save what would the police do to our doc, please. I'll do it after. Okay. No, it's really important that you do that, actually. Stop what you're doing and record it. I'm going to kill you. Otherwise Claire will kill you.

Yeah, it's is that okay 1030. This is, of course, our weekly segment where you write in with your Quora questions and we answer them live on air. Is that okay? is that okay this is of course live on air which do you know which one that you uh want me to listen to is it yes is that okay 10 30 great not to say what day it is hypothetically i'm clicking it hi quarators uh you know how crows will remember faces forever and attack you forever if if uh you mess with them well i live near a bunch of crows and i've never messed with them do they remember me and think i'm a chill dude or do they just like not think about me at all

i think the crows think about you every day they think about you they comment on your body the crows yeah they watch you walk away they say i hate to see them leave but i love to see them walk away this is what the crows are saying hypothetically i think that makes sense i think they do remember you they're smart they can do puzzles i think that you got to um you got to Give them treats. I think that's the way it works. It's like if they associate you with like a source of food or something, because then they'll do the thing where like they'll bring you like a $100 bill.

Whoa. Yeah. You can upgrade your crows. Yeah. They understand money. They understand money. Also, like a treat to a crow is often something shiny like silverware. So if you bring them a fork, you know, they like that.

But it's like any industry befriending crows. You just got to hang out. Yeah. You got to make yourself known. You got to network. You got to be a good hang. Network with the murder. It helps if you sleep with one of them.

Just sleep your way to the top. The biggest one. Yeah, like a real stud crow. The one with the shiniest stuff. If you see a crow with an iced out necklace, it's probably the one you want to have sex with first. But you will make your way through many of them. And the whole murder, which is, fun fact,

what a group of crows are called. that's right so thank you for writing in for our is that okay segment please send us your questions

and try to keep them under 30 seconds I'm not made of time here yeah he's not like a sour patch kid watermelon flavor

exactly just what I was about to say but send them to coordinators at gmail.com oh and send them to coordinators at

gmail.com that's right and that's been the show Alan thanks for telling them what you have

going on please please Please, AlanStrickleWilliams.com to find my album. It's on vinyl. I have a copy over there, but I'm not going to go get it. AlanStrickleWilliams.com.

It's called Ran Through, One-Liners, Dating's Weird, Trauma Stuff. It's a great album. No, actually, it's not. It's actually super easy. You just don't know. Alan is a classical comedian.

You are going to love this album by your fireplace on your fine vinyl record player just spinning next to Frank Sinatra. And it's on Bandcamp and stuff too, so you can listen to it on your computer. Yeah, if something happens to your record player, you can play it off Bandcamp.com. And you can just use the record as a coaster for a big coffee.

Anything that insulates your table. If you would like more of our show, please support the show on patreon.com slash quarators five dollars a month gets you an extra episode every week and as a reminder due to inflation five dollars is around uh four uh like 40 cents in 2005 time uh so that's just free and for basically free podcast you're missing out not getting it frankly because uh there's some good stuff back there and it's the only way to hear us read the new york times oh also this will i think be out we're doing two shows in philadelphia opening for Where There's Your Problem

in December. We're opening. It's a big gig for us. I don't know what that means. We hope we land it. I don't really know what opening a podcast does. Podcasts opening another podcast. We're going to do our banter in front of their banter. And they're going to be like, who are these guys? Also, they'll be there for the other shows.

So it's like sometimes when you see an opening band do a good set and you're like, I wish you guys were appreciated the way you should have been. We need you to come and say that at the merch table. Just get the talk going. the crowd you know just get people talking about it and we would love to see you there in philadelphia and that's going to be it for us this week uh thanks again to alan for coming on thanks for

having me y'all that's fun and until next week question everything great accent really good stuff i'm turning this off i didn't mean to say it like that