Quorators - Did Electricity Change?

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Would Wakanda Accept White Born Wakandians? What Is Something People Need To Understand? How would Beavis and Butt Head be treated by other inmates if they were arrested and put in jail or prison?

All right, so we should just skip our Zip Zap Zops this week? Uh, Zip. I've never played. I've paid a lot of money to learn how to Zip Zap Zop. Is there ever any good games of Zip Zap? So I took an Improv 101 class in like 2010, and they taught us Zip Zap Zop, but there were never any good games of Zip Zap Zop.

They were all, it was like tic-tac-toes, a solved game. Because you say Zip, I know I say Zap. So that's the thing is, don't make me start this podcast by defending improv. That's the thing is, you say zip and I say zap, and then the third person says zop. Okay, so the- No, we all know there are real merits to pretend. Look at the sound effect I found. You're so scared to defend improv right now.

This is perfect for this discussion. Leave this in. Okay, so tell me your genuine zip zap zop opinions. The way you're supposed to do zip zap zop is you're supposed to say, i say zip you say zap and the third person says stop right but the way that you say it you're supposed to listen for it and exaggerate that so and to the point where it becomes no longer zip zap zap okay so like i say zip and then if you go like zop the first you'll be like oh that maybe he's tired so the next person goes zip and then they go zap and they're like i hate this and then

it keeps going until it becomes gibberish yeah yeah it's stupid but not like before when it was Zip, zap, zap. That performer was like, I know exactly what to do. You say zip, I say zap. Well, I know I've got the word nailed. All right, stop this sound now. I found a video that was like 400 funny sounds. It's important that we split up the sound cues so you could do some.

Yeah, I think it's good. Let's start the goddamn show. He's going off, dude. You got to be listening to the YouTube. see how it's dancing he dabbed that's right I dabbed it's gonna sound like I made it up or something

but he really dabbed I can't help but dabbing it's goaded this is gonna be a weird episode I don't know what you mean we skipped zip zaps up we did skip our zip zaps up you're getting the raw shit right now

you're getting the uncircumcised podcast clean your little flaps you gotta clean them or they'll get smegma is that what it's called i believe so i've seen two circumcised men guess what smegma is it's the circumcised pod where we talk about our digs being cut uncut edition i won't even wear a helmet you can send me to war i like blowing in the breeze are these guys like um they're like men aren't how they used to be guys or they're just like modern circumcised men what do you mean these characters these characters yes these fictional characters um they're modern they're everyday men they're just like you or i sure yeah that's what people like about them they're

relatable also welcome to core rangers the podcast where we ask what is quora i'm alex and this is Jeremy. Hey, it's just the boys. We get to the bottom of Quora and we read Quora's, but also we are two normal circumcised men who have had no infections from smegma. It's true.

You know what the thing is about the penis that's uncircumcised is it always reminds me of when you get your head caught in a turtleneck sweater. So I'm sucking these things off and I'm like... It doesn't remind you like you put your head through the arm hole of a shirt and you're like

i'm stuck let me out of here hey through the wrong hole i'm sure it is not like that no i'm sure you're out there do you have an uncircumcised dick thanks for listening and from what i've heard from the men's rights you know don't circumcise me people it's full of pleasure i went to college in binghamton which is very predominantly like a lot of jewish you know people there but big jewish population oh nice sick dude and um our our former guest my old roommate chris casey used to talk about how name drop name drop he used to talk about how he liked being uncircumcised because it made him exotic to jewish girls that cannot be true that doesn't sound exotic at all

this guy he's got a little extra there he is forbidden oh that's a great segue have him we have a big forbidden knowledge section yeah so we've been here's the thing is we kept it real spooky for around the month of october and then after that i thought all right you may have overdone it with all the spooky quarrels and that people are going to stop listening if you keep finding out about ghosts and their secrets and so i haven't listened to any since but now we're back and there's it's not just ghost questions this time no the forbidden knowledge segment is about everything that they don't want you to know and that can include which demons to summon and it can also be like is spongebob a dark triad or something although that would probably go in

in the quoker yeah that's understandably the joker with with quora at the beginning the quoker uh let's begin forbidden knowledge well hold on before we do that we should check in with our old friend questions from last week yes ignore that twilight zone cue redact that uh hold on wait wait yes jeremy you're doing cues and i'm doing cues wow this is just a big sound effect heavy episode we are giving commands to the listener and they must obey last week we asked on this fairy podcast has anyone ever kicked you out of a gym for being too sweaty okay i'm gonna guess no one answered this we have two answers hello two big old answers this is i would expect if this has happened to a person for them to be on quora but there are lots of cops for one well

our first one is from daryl james army operator at singapore armed forces every day this happens to me daryl says no but it is nice to bring a towel every time you go to the gym okay that's true daryl i there's nothing to make fun of there that's a 100 true fact waffles is back uh what producer waffles alex's cat is hanging out checking out the chorus he does seem to read them sometimes he's in a bit of a mood yeah so he's it's so i got an email that it's his birthday and we found him on the street so we don't really know when his birthday is but he's been huffing catnip all goddamn morning out of this banana happy birthday buddy he's got a banana on the

ground he's zooting back there this is a cat banana not a real banana yeah this is a banana full of catnip i didn't i didn't cook this up for him like a restaurant uh and yeah and so uh he's geeked out his goddamn mind. He's running back and forth and causing trouble and let's hope he doesn't fuck up our show. I think he'll be okay. Waffle, say something to the mic. This is great podcasting.

Alright, back to the sweat question. Let's read from MyCheeseSteak who says, Nope, never happened. If you sweat that much, you should carry a towel with you to wipe down yourself and equipment. There used to be a guy at a gym that I used to go to who just used to make it rain sweat when he was on a treadmill it was disgusting and he

never cleaned up after himself yuck you're supposed to clean up a treadmill you're just running on that thing i don't know man you're wearing shoes not like your barefoot treadmill man um yeah well maybe if you're on the free weights i understand the towel thing but on a treadmill i don't work here you're sweating quite a bit to be i do not work here and here's the thing is i am very defensive i do sweat a lot and i feel like if someone's gonna get kicked out of the gym for it would be me well you had the the one alarm go off last episode yeah there's a lot of ways of policing my body that are not okay to do and i will not abide them oh and then and then somebody responded this is a curbs responded to my cheesesteak and this is a podcast listener

um because uh they said i think i know that guy or maybe it was his brother every time he got on the treadmill and there was sweat uh there was sweat everywhere including dripping from the ceiling my buddy and i used to carry an umbrella to keep it dry but we ended up getting kicked out of the gym for using it talk about double standards i'm not sure what the first double standards uh if that story doesn't scream one alarm i don't know what does have you ever seen someone eating scrambled eggs at the gym tell me about it so thank you for interacting with my good use of the code word good use yeah scrambled eggs that's the word if you must say things to The natural habitat of Quora.

Use the word scrambled eggs. Yeah, it's like putting on their natural pheromones. It's like the foreskin of Quora comments protecting you from- Yes, yes. Fire? I don't know what that shit does. Foreskins? We're just two circumcised guys.

They protect you from fire, I think. Well, if there was a fire, you would have one layer in between you and your sensitive inner head. You ever put your dick in a fire and you're like, boy, do I wish I had just a little extra skin? Every day of my life. every day of my life well okay so we did a good job last week then yeah we killed it hell yeah found it that's gonna be us again waffles is my waffles he's walking all over the goddamn place i feel like that's the way of getting attention he's a real brooklyn strutting that stuff oh i'm walking here i hate seeing him leave but i love to walk oh yeah oh yeah he's

strutting now he's in his box you got a small amazon box that he fits just the right size in and he has kept it for six weeks. He doesn't worry that you're going to close it up and ship him away? He should. Let's read some... What do you want to do? Do you want to do forbidden knowledge

or do you want to read this list we have first? You know what? Let's start with the list, actually. Totally forget I played the Twilight Zone song because that is not what we're doing here. Don't even listen to it. Don't even listen to that. Skip that part.

This is a list of 10 things. The question is, what is something people need to understand? This was originally filed under the Quoker. Oh, I switched the board. This was originally filed under the Quoker. It's kind of a catch-all, isn't it? Because people do need to understand this,

and that can be even if they aren't involuntarily celibate. I would say that this is a question that kind of covers all of Quora, right? What's something people need to understand? That's like the point of going on this website. that's why we're here we are here for research yeah research and knowledge this is a knowledge podcast what do people have to understand okay you ready for this number one nobody dies a virgin life fucks us all oh my god bro that's the start of the list that's number one and guess what how am i supposed to hang in there no it's like this is this is my attitude going into it big big um

Big thing here, the U in fucks is an asterisk. So that's good for us. It's an asterisk? Yeah. The U in fucks. Fucks? Oh, like he's censoring himself but saying fucks? Yeah.

Life fucks us all. Who is this person? This is Alex Furman, passionate writer in California, 2013 to present. I was reading this sentence thinking, you must be a writer. You have the gift of the word. he's got 20 000 followers on quora that's a lot of followers that's a lot of quoras he's written many lists uh his his um his little bio says happiness is a journey and there's a pencil emoji and it says tired of toxic recommend uh relationships here's my recommended app i'm

reading is not going well for me today no that's too bad because he's a writer by trade i know and he's passionate about it too this man has 20 000 quora followers can we just pull it together cover his work correctly please yeah i'm really sorry this is an important user uh nobody dies a virgin life fucks us all if you're a baby and you die you got fucked by life you're not a virgin that's really upsetting to hear i guess in that dying is a way like as it was would be happening you'd be like um jack me off already well this is good news for because this is in our quoker segment yeah this is good news for incels i think it is directly a message to them that you're not a virgin and you're in terms of my life in terms of your poor treatment yeah it's like you have a

love in your life yeah yeah exactly if you're worried about that replacement for physical intimacy sometimes bad things will happen yeah yeah if you've never felt the warm embrace of a loving person at least you've been uh having a bad life at the end you'll be hit by a truck all right well that was uh one thing that's something that's one thing people need to understand number two if your love ain't a verb don't bother if your love ain't a verb don't bother if okay so what is that i don't know where to begin with this um what what is what does it mean for your love your love ain't a verb this sounds like a really cool guy i just want to say real quick all

the comments on this are like can't say there's many lists that i agree with every single one wow you knocked it out of the park uh the next comment from becky vanderwin says i thought number three was thought-provoking uh so i'm curious you know what i immediately want to follow this you can you click the follow button oh yeah how does that work um core is like we need quora plus to do that quora is kind of struggling today but i will follow this person for you yeah it's definitely quora and not the horrible brooklyn internet that i am monopoly uh rounded into you are now one of his 19 840 followers i did round up a bit i am one of a tribe uh if you're loving a verb don't bother if love so i think that it means like you have to love in

order to have love like you need to love like it can't be the passion we have for reading quoras like that love is the love in our lot i'm really stretching myself i've never found a list where i agreed with all of them until today yeah well i don't disagree with it okay number three okay this one's really thought-provoking apparently number three people lie more to themselves than to others that's not thought-provoking not at all i think about that all the time yeah i could have written this list but i didn't wanna i thought people already knew this stuff yeah well you were fucking lying to yourself more than you've lied to me i do it every day and i lie to you a lot oh yeah big time i never

let jeremy know where i'm coming from i tell him the wrong address to things i mean yeah it's true i'll be like the show starts at five and they'll get there two hours early and i'll i'll meet him there later and i'll hit you with a hammer yeah and then i'll hit you with that oh that happened before we started i fixed something that's true you did fix something i was a real man's man earlier i was like help me and you're like this needs a hammer and it did i screamed and bashed it yeah it was it was really cool it did work instantly it was probably the coolest thing i've ever done um yeah actually that is what circumcised me yeah i ripped the skin of your penis off as an adult like in the bible let's read this fourth one ready for this go

where your energy is reciprocated celebrated and appreciated okay we're getting into fridge magnet territory but i do approve yeah maybe he's looking at a fridge he's still looking at a fridge It is a bit of a surprise after the first one about getting fucked all the goddamn time. I thought we were going to be in a more negative way. Which is just nonsense. If you can email us at quarators at gmail.com, please let us know what you think if your love ain't a verb means. But then also include new quaras.

Yeah, please do that too. Don't waste my time. Find some good ones. Yes. And I appreciate all of those. People have sent us a lot of quaras. Also, thank you so much. A lot of them are very mundane, and I appreciate that you sent them to us, but they're always like, I don't want to call people out, but some of them are like, is it illegal to fish?

And then someone's like, no. No, it's not. What state is north of Massachusetts? Oh, it's Vermont. Which I get a kick out of. I'm still reading them. Even if they're not on the show, we are reading the quora. We've read every quora.

If you would like me personally to have knowledge about it, you can send me a quora. Yeah. Okay, number five. Younger, you probably won't listen to older you's advice. In a time travel situation. Younger, you probably won't listen to older you's advice. This became a sci-fi list. Contextually, it's a looper.

Yes, exactly. When Bruce Willis confronts his looper, or he's the looper, he confronts Joseph Gordon-Levitt with the fucked up makeup on that makes him look like, oh i'm i just have a bad nose yeah i just look like this i'm weird this movie you're very handsome stop hiding it uh and and when he confronts him he doesn't listen to what he said no he doesn't this might be about looper he just tries to collect his loop that's true close his loop and collect his loopy i'm amazed that you know the terminology of looper to this day i well i watched

it like a month ago okay fair enough i didn't remember a thing before that okay cool that makes more sense yeah i've actually i don't know if you've noticed from recording the show with me my brain is full of holes i don't retain a lot i was impressed i feel like this is the the secret of all comedians though is like when they have a really good reference where you're like that's a great poll it means they watched it up recently yeah that's right that's why i'm always bringing up number muncher yes a game i play every day you have a bunch of numbers this one's got a typo number six the hash truth idiot the hash truth is that someone's mom has probably used you as a bad example to their kid what the hell i mean that is true of me

actually you know what i think this is another truth this is a really good list um one time my My dad, I was a terrible student, and can you believe it? I know, that's why I'm a famous podcaster. Well, I feel like you could really write an essay about a topic of your choosing, and I'm not just saying that. I was bad at school. I can't believe it. I didn't do it.

Were you always smoking in the boys' room? No, I didn't do much smoking. Wearing your leather jacket around? I did wear a leather jacket a lot. Rolling dice? i would always get in trouble at middle school for rolling too much dice they're like no one's playing with you stop living fast and living large jeremy get out of your car this isn't the hard drive magazine one day you'll all like my video game

satire um and that's why i'm a huge video game satire you're sitting in math class uh waiting for any problem to come up so you could raise your hand and be like sounds like master chief This reminds me of Mario. You're the one kid the teacher's just like, hey, shut the fuck up. Stop doing that. Shut the fuck up. Please. Every day with you.

Anyway, I was in earth science, right? I had eighth grade earth science. My dad goes to parent-teacher conference. And he goes in, and then the teacher, the person, the parent before him is finishing up. And he hears her say, don't get it wrong. My son is the good Jeremy. don't confuse his tests and and essays with the bad jeremy oh my god and that's incredibly explicit my dad goes in and goes hi i'm the dad of the bad jeremy oh wow and uh he sold me out

yeah um i think for a father that's probably even worse than to hear than if it's about you maybe yeah yeah he was um he thought it was very funny it's like finding out your pokemon is low level we we call that you couldn't see their stats my evs my pikachu knows agility not like that piece of shit i have the shiny jeremy do you think just for our generation you'll have to use more everyday parenting metaphors in the instead of uh pokemon so people understand them i don't think i'm having children that's what i'm saying is that the number of people having children is so low that you have to be like well this is kind of like and if an onyx couldn't get into stanford there's no birds and the bees it's like and this is reminds me of the pokemon uh

breeding areas jesse's and the james that's pretty good thanks i came up with that just now um anyway i'm sorry that happened to you that's very hurtful well so the teacher did mix up our test one day it did happen okay i had the higher test grade which was crazy yeah so they just assumed it went to him i guess by that point see that's reinforced yeah uh expectations that is not okay i haven't spoken to that kid like since eighth grade but my family bad guy my family calls him the good jeremy to this day like how's the good jeremy i'm like i'm not friends with him stop calling him that shout out to jeremy if you're listening hey jeremy hammond bait no it wasn't

there's a bad jeremy if i have ever seen one uh okay number uh number seven yeah only people who care about you can hear when you're quiet that's not true care about you this is a uh kel mitchell in in mystery men situation i have no memory of mystery well in mystery men kel mitchell no he can go invisible but only when no one sees him and so he says that to everyone and they think he is a fool that's fair that he is deluded and in in a way a sussy baka which is a sound we actually have on the keyboard and we'll be debuting today let's play that right now sussy baka anyway that's used to describe kel mitchell what does it mean in mystery men it's when someone is sus and baka i think

it sounds like sussy baka sounds like a star wars character it's what children say so we have to get on it now because we're just gonna stay the same and they're gonna become very influential soon true i it makes me think of like there's a tiny nasty little goblin in the new star wars and he's like name sussy baka yeah that could when you know what in 10 years when they're still making star wars is there will be a character named sussy baka so you're correct anyway when you're quiet the people um this doesn't make sense they ignore you even more because you're so you got to live out loud yeah that's my rule that's rule i'm putting on this list all right what's the next one number eight being alone is not as bad as peeing with people who make you

feel alone some of these are better than others i'm gonna say it people need to understand that when people who's someone who's made you feel alone um i don't think i don't know who's an enemy of yours say it into the microphone i'm trying to think of like what's a funny answer and not a true answer reveal your secrets reveal them to me now expose your secrets uh another joke of my dad's i'm gonna throw in a dad joke in this i'm getting that your father has lots of hurtful things to you my dad likes to tell me all the time that he's funnier than me and this is a joke he has told me many times that um he's like you should use this one but it is always good to hear but he he told me that apparently when write this down when he and

my mom were dating they were like we're he was having a really bad day i called your mother a sussy vodka he said your mother is a sussy vodka i said vodka and then he dabbed he dabbed yeah we're bringing dabbing back it's been long enough he invented dabbing it's been around seven years we're bringing dabbing back um he said to my mom uh i'm just having a bad day i think i need to be alone and she said but we are alone and i think this is a sad story my dad's like isn't that a funny joke that's like deeply poetic and moving yeah yeah maybe your father is more of a great uh uh playwright than he is a hilarious comedian has he thought of that i mean we should get him on Quora. My dad would be a great

Quora. We gotta get you on Quora. Not on the podcast, but on the website. No, no, no. Definitely not on the podcast. When we decide to make the podcast sad, you can come on. It's kind of like a great Russian novel. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, yes, that is deeply moving and sad.

And I agree with it. Being alone is not as bad as being alone. People who make you feel alone. Number eight is just like, sometimes you gotta be an introvert. Hurt people hurt people. Number eight. uh number nine your big heart deserves an even bigger love what happened to nobody dies a virgin hey love is just a verb it's all the same with the lights off number 10 first you know your worth

second control your emotions third never settle hey let me know if you like my answer with an upvote wait wait oh he said that at the bottom okay that's how he gets all this is someone who knows how to use social media al pacino really and it says the eyes chico they never lie we're gonna include that in the video uh back to the scarface give me the rule one more time first you know your worth second control your emotions third never settle this is three rules in one rule this isn't a rule first that's another three rules second control your emotions control your emotions third never settle second calm down calm down you are out of pocket all the time if you're embarrassing me stop bringing up master chief it is wild to be like number 10 first

um please number 11 stop talking about halo stop bringing it up all the time it's not related to everything all the time i love all the comments on this that are just like this is the these are the best fucking answers i've ever heard my wife i did not know how to live my life before i found out love is just a verb love is the verb is a verb love is the verb you modify as a noun what if love is an adjective love is love is the postposition after the uh subject good love though that's an adjective and a noun i agree with that well that's probably the best list i've ever heard jeremy thank you for reading that i don't know if it was funny but i do think people will take a lot from it i do know it was the best i've ever heard and with that said i think we're ready

to move into one of our favorite segments and that i of course i mean forbidden knowledge i'm just looking at um i'm just looking at youtube sound effects yeah you're on youtube are you curious what no copyright music hidden agenda kevin mcleod background music hd is Because I am. I guess a little bit. Yeah, you can play that. Yeah, we just need this for more of our everyday banter. Say, Jeremy, have you seen my top hat?

It is that kind of thing. Wait a minute. I believe you left it on your head. Oh, and there's a rabbit inside. Oh, he's a magician. And seen. Let's do some forbidden knowledge. Number one.

this ends our terrible improv segment people don't want you to know these kinds of questions but quora users have collected them and given us answers how do i summon a beginner friendly demon and what precautions do i need to take how do i banish them when i am done how do i banish them when i am done okay well i think i've read this one before um all right so then we can skip it this is the one we read when we had annie on and she was like i don't want to talk about demons um i do remember that being the last time we really dove into this but i don't want to cover it twice but long and short of it i mean without going just read the top answer you need to take medic uh meditation down pat first as a bare minimum the fact that

you don't know how to banish tells me you're not prepared just go study practice learn and come back when you do get ready damn i'll second what someone else said lucifer is an excellent choice isn't lucifer like the devil yes he is okay and this has really stuck out to me because i remember thinking like this sounds like the last guy you get to not the opening salvo this guy's a troll that he's like oh yeah why don't you why don't you start with um lucifer yeah the morning star you want a good friendly demon how about the devil god's favorite angel he says nice guy friendly, quite respectful. This doesn't sound like Lucifer. Well, I mean, it could

be with his trickerous ways. And it says stay away from his quote, wife, Lilith. Lilith, yeah. Is it not his wife? No, it's his, well, she calls herself his wife. Okay, okay. And she's not nice. Like Lucifer is staying

committed to Lilith? I don't think so. Also, they're probably not in a covenant under God. This is just me guessing. Oh, yeah, that's probably That's kind of a big part on account of him being the devil. But yeah, and then they recommend that they go for him or payment, right? He says, I've heard many magicians recommend Vassago as a first Urabis and Stolas. I love that I'm starting to catch on with this community.

Like, I'm beginning to be like, yeah, you probably want Vassago. Vassago is good. Who is that? Vassago is one of the guys. Should I look him up? Yeah, he's always in the place where everyone knows your name. And that is hell. All right.

He's a third demon of the Lesser Key. This is just gibberish to me. No, read on. This is from Wikipedia. He's the third demon in the Lesser Key as a prince of a good nature and of the same nature as a garris. Well, that's helpful. Everyone knows who a garris is.

Like we all need more garris in our lives. He rules 26 legions of spirits and is summoned to tell magicians of past and future events and locate lost objects. Can you imagine your deal as a devil creature? What's this devil's deal? Who is this devil? I just like that you're summoning him. Be like, I can't find my car keys.

I get lonely at school. Vassico, Lesser Key of Solomon. Can you help me find my stuff? I can't find my top hat. Do you think my neighbor likes me? Vassico. When you're controlling the 28 legions, do you ever get lonely and then he says if you uh if your love ain't a verb don't bother don't

bother that's a vasago talking you've been vasago'd from the mouth of the seven spiders you've been taught uh now vasago fuck yourself all right oh yeah we're learning a lot uh that's what the podcast is all about okay then he says that said my personal recommendation is paimon Who is the character from Genshin Impact He was my first demon Introduced me to many more And is a wonderful spirit This sounds like you fucked Paimon

Stop, get Paimon's name out of your mouth Why are you talking about Paimon Like it's your horny high school girlfriend He is the great king He knows Vassago They all know They're all in the scene Whoever you call, treat them with respect

But demand you receive the same and you'll do fine a particular spirit may not click well with you so if you if so just move on to another i have an idea for you alex can you pitch this yep if and when we start a patreon sure can one of our goals be that we draw a pentagram and summon a demon because we're like so in it you believe in this is the problem well the thing is now that i'm getting more i mean i don't want to do it wrong i mean lucifer is what was the first thing in the answer practice your meditation how is your meditation jeremy because mine's shit not great it's not good i close my eyes i just see halo 3 i'm not ready to talk to boss ago oh i think that's true and you know what

the grunts say when they see master chief i don't they say demon demon yeah um what is that you don't want to say that but lucifer is a nice guy friendly and quite respectful as long as we stay away from his quote-unquote life description of lucifer lucifer's one of those quiet guys who make your calves cramp i would say the first comment on this says i've heard the same thing about the true occult lucifer whom constantinus covers in detail in the nocturne con oh love the nocturne and also vasago since the beginning of my occult studies he's always been recommended for anyone looking into the lesser key slash gochia god damn it dude like did i read this out loud before or did i just read this in my own free time i've always wanted because we had a whole conversation about

paimon that was probably just another question i think it's just another one who was like you gotta go with paimon really good reviews for paimon yeah who again is like the devil from the end of like hereditary who like kills everybody right he's a demon well i mean they I'm sorry, not the devil. I'm really sorry about that. They kill each other to summon him. Right. So he didn't do that.

Doesn't he take over the little girl's body or something? Who cares? I don't. It's not important. What's important is he's a great guy and you should talk to him. And also that we apparently for $5 are willing to banish our souls. A very real risk Jeremy wants to take. So that we can get half of a sandwich together.

but wouldn't it be so fun to say that our third our guest on the podcast this week is vasago that would be fun i it's a equipment nightmare is what it is i don't know how to get him on this goddamn mixer with us today vasago lesser key of solemn and vasago have you what's your what's your quora experience what was the fall of babylon like who's your favorite stand-up Yeah, we're doing it like a Maron style. Popsicle, do you ever nut so hard? Popsicle, are you circumcised?

Popsicle, what is in your forbidden bag of tricks? All right, should we read another Quora? Yes. Okay. Please. Would Wakanda accept white-born Wakandans? would wakanda except white born wakandans wakandians okay now i've seen i had spoilers i have read the answers on this one that people are like wakanda is a very accepting place it's

a kingdom i do not expect any level of tolerance from this place i know that there's supposed to be very advanced and also that it is a marvel fictional country and so and it's supposed to be good so probably it's fine yeah but they still have a goddamn king they're just like magically aligned probably very backward in terms of certain you know uh social expectations yeah most of these are just examples of white guys who they've accepted there's probably nothing harder than being a white wakandian something so many people are so many real people i love the idea of like a white guy and i assume it's an adult uh watching black panther and being like but could i be from wakanda hey here i am watching black panther alone on my 28th birthday where's eminem

i cannot place myself in this movie you know he's low-key one of the goats he's more lyrical than the rest put him on mount rushmore there's a version of black panther where like the same movie but eminem is just in the background like doing songs and they're like good job eminem keep it up i'm about to fight you want to kill your girlfriends i totally understand why you feel that way eminem and then they do the chest yeah yeah eminem would love to do the chest thing uh he would definitely do it he'd be good at it do it if he would do it acapella yeah um you could hear the snare in his headphones these are all things eminem says folks uh real quick i want to say that this is under the quora community africa one okay so they went to africa's quora

and was like could i talk the first of africa's course yeah i'm sure real africans by the way i love answering all these questions about wakanda there is an answer from someone named africa in real time and it's just wakanda only exists in wakanda the movie it's not a real place in history or presently damn you can be accepted to play a role audition for the next wakanda or something This person seems to think there's a movie called Wakanda. That's the most offensive thing you can hear as a Black Panther stan. There's also this one that says, yes, Wakanda is a nation, not a race. That doesn't mean anything.

Will they accept you? They have a king and a queen. All right, here's a pitch. They're probably like whipping people over there. If and when we make a Patreon, can one of the goals be we go to Wakanda? Yeah, sure. Okay, cool. I'll promise fake things.

I fold it under lying, one of my favorite activities. Sometimes you lie to yourself more than you lie to me. I'm lying to Jeremy right now. I think that's all we're going to get on this. Okay, let's do the next one. It was a good question, though. No, it is a great question. And it's forbidden.

It's hard to know. This one is in misinterpreted questions. It's how do you learn something that's never been taught before and nobody knows? Oh, this could have been on those rules for life list. I hate this question. How does one learn something nobody knows? Can you give me an example? No, I can't.

It hasn't been thought of yet. How could I think of a thing that no one's thought of? It is I, the Quora Sphinx. Pass my Quora's three and an upvote shall ye be. What is something that crawls at night? who doesn't wear clothes when he swims. Okay, so, all right.

So, how does... This is a great answer from Teresa Goodell. And this, I think, will get us going. Because I don't know. And they have a PhD in nursing and statistics

from the Oregon Health and Science University. Graduated in 2004. Okay, books. Teresa says... Books about to chime in here real quick. To the question,

how do you learn something that's never been taught before nobody knows theresa says science dear god damn yeah hit that uh-huh honey they just lit the sphinx on fire right now there it is boom baby if i read something like this on my core i would delete oh yeah i would just go i would go live in a cave after this or maybe a pyramid yeah no i don't know what i would do that's fucking that's rough i pray never oh this one says who asked the question that's rare this is from david york okay piece of shit yeah he has a bs in mechanical engineering and mathematics more like a bullshit yeah more like a bullshit and also that's what he

posts on quora unfollow him follow him and then unfollow him now eddie eddie does the big uh the obvious joke here and he says with great difficulty so that's pretty good oh this is a really good answer from diane ferguson she says ask the person who came up with bailed alaska i imagine that's supposed to be baked alaska and that still doesn't make sense well maybe bailed alaska is more advanced and it does make sense okay well i think science my dear really nailed it and i'm going back to school and i'm gonna get my degree now oh cool one person says try lsd so that's a good oh i do learn lots of things that no one has known when i do lsd but then i kind of well it's not that i forget them so much as i like i tell people about them later

they don't really make sense like i remember one time i i did mushrooms and um uh i was meeting up to podcast the next day and i was like everyone was like how was your day yesterday i was like it was so funny first of all the fridge is so big and they were just like yeah it's like it's huge and you know you're only left with uh the part of your idea that is rooted in the material plane and so you can't really get around back to it and so they're forbidden now here's another big character that we could do is mushroom seinfeld mushroom seinfeld the fridge is so funny my hands are weird you ever notice how heads are weird who are those little elves you ever go out for a date and realize you have five fingers when it could be six or more we're all connected i've never done

mushrooms but i only know it through pop culture i know i only know from mushroom seinfeld one of my favorite television girl bits no it's a it's a real crutch for you we're gonna stop them okay i'll stop it by any means necessary uh okay this is i don't care what the rest of these answers one guy says i don't know who cares you're done you're done that's the cow you're done all right these are let's do some more um forbidden questions yeah oh this one is so fucking forbidden i'm surprised they let it even be on here don't tell me it this is on the x-con forum really so you know it's going to be like something quora has that oh yeah oh yeah this is for how many ex-cons are on quora

do they let you i think this is something i wonder about a lot they let you have the internet in jail just not like all the time right so you could be a con con you could you could be a current con on quora yeah cons on quora uh there's a meetup quora cons conra conra this is a crazy episode we're yeah we're unlocked right now um it's 50 degrees in january in new york yeah it's not it's a little grim and we are sleepy um so this is a very forbidden question about being in prison and um you know so brace yourselves listeners yeah how would beavis and butthead be treated by other inmates if they were arrested and put in jail or prison okay so full transparency i have not been to prison me neither so i'm speaking not out of

personal knowledge but out of kind of the street smarts that i've collected on the street doing deals and uh getting meals no i thought that was the gunshot that was good that was the right one know i mean law and order yeah also lock lock me up law and order um and so i would say the beavis and butthead would be respected there because they yeah the kings of the yard they yield no they yield to no man and that's respected in the iron dome uh now are we are we gonna say like are they celebrities in this world or are they just like two guys plus beavis beavis butthead They ain't afraid to bring out that thing. Their gun?

Yeah, they have a gun. This is a pilot episode I keep writing for a Beavis and Butthead spinoff. Beavis and Butthead with a gun. It's a lot grimmer than the normal show. They have a gun. They have a gun, and it's very dangerous to be around them. They shouldn't have it. They only have one.

They only have both that split it between them. They have to share it. I can't do business. I've never seen the show. I've never seen it either. It's even harder for us to answer the question. having watched tv having not been to prison or seen beavis and butthead i think they'd run the yard i think i think i know more about prison than i do beavis and butthead yeah and what you know

about prison could be in a very short book honey yeah oh yeah big deal big big big time big time oh my god oh yeah big time i need to go to prison you're i'm putting you to bed after this i'm gonna tuck you into my bed and i'll say good night jeremy and we'll wake up we'll do a better podcast uh but so this guy says frank presley who lived in max uh maximum security prisons says they would be treated as entertainment there you go they are so ugly nobody would want them as as a punk which i imagine means like a lover oh i don't i have to assume that it's i'm gonna assume all the words are like lover in a forced relationship um but everybody guards and cons like a good laugh as long as they can keep everybody in stitches they will get star treatment

they're not funny on purpose though they're just they're just so fucking dumb and ugly they're so ugly nobody would even fucking want that so it's prison isn't it full of dumb and ugly people like um i would never say that about our wonderful cons in this country i'm just saying like maybe if you're dumb and ugly it's okay the support you need to throw it in jail and it's wrong and i'm not the bad guy here but i'm saying if he was a butthead are gonna they're not organically funny like that they're just well they're really ugly and dumb well i'll say this if you're listening to our podcast people listen to podcasts in prison this is why i think they need a gun too because they have no agency that way if they have a if they have a gun in prison

no one listens to beavis if if you if quarators is the way you're passing the time in prison if you're a prisoner of our of our country and you're listening to quarators try to channel beavis and butthead yes and you will be beloved well you'll be kind of the court jester and in that way run the yard and get a gun and get a gun because that will make others fear you hard to do in prison easier said than done put it in your butt or whatever a cake yeah put it in your butt although i saw the um the uh mike tyson uh show that they did mysteries no love that one goddard plays a pigeon he plays a funny pigeon who's rude uh no they did like a bio of mike tyson's life and apparently in prison he just like started an underground crime network where he just had a gun

at the end and they're like mike tyson they're gonna let you out of here don't use this gun on anybody seems like a bad idea for you yeah you're famous man just like a cartoon where norm mcdonald plays a rude pigeon everyone will forget all the bad things you do because you punch so good you'll be in the hangover uh you'll be friends with zach alfanakis so sometimes you can't get a gun also if you're listening in prison i think you're the handsomest one there uh this is to mike but not too handsome where it's a liability true um or what are some other answers on this um let's see how would be with some butthead none okay well that was no no wait i did find somewhere they nailed it i was confused it was uh this website is bad quora yes

I don't know about that. Beavis would be tested until he became the great Cornholio, and then the prisoners would leave him alone and probably befriend him because Beavis is that crazy. Yeah, he's that one MF you don't test. Butthead probably will make friends with a couple of guys. I don't see him treated as bad as, say, Beavis would be at the start. Yeah, you don't want to be a Butthead and not a Beavis if you're in prison.

Yeah, oh, yeah, don't be a Beavis. Be a Butthead. a butthead is like being a big guy named tiny oh my god things like people don't think you're a butthead because that's your name this one this one guy is roasting the question answer he says please let us know after you get there beavis oh my god oh man you just said that's what you don't want to be that's a huge upvote wendy sasko says lol all caps exclamation point hell yeah that rocks man that's and that's what some music that beavis and butthead enjoy oh yeah rock and roll uh i never seen the show one guy says a uh that there's a scene in the

movie the new movie that came out where they get arrested and they get inside a police car and crash it explain to the police that draw guns on them that they have white privilege because they learned about it in a college class and i just want to say that sounds like a terrible do not update beavis and butthead for modern context that is not something that we are doing No, we don't need Beavis and Butthead being like, hey, woke. Oh, the woke mom. You're too woke.

That's just what Ewan must sound like in my head. He's doing Beavis and Butthead voice all the time. Yeah. Why don't Grimes love me? There's a war on free speech. How do they crash the... Don't update the comics, Beavis and Butthead. I don't want to know.

Mike Judge, shut the fuck up. shut the fuck up mike judge stop being a master chief all the time um uh no i had something i forgot it's a sleepy day all right let's read another quarter there's like a cloud on the ground and in my brain oh yeah yeah oh big time that's a good new catchphrase for you i had a college roommate who's at big time all the time and he was really crazy he would have been a podcast oh we gotta get him on we gotta get i mean we gotta he's i'll never do it but um this is a great question i used to wake up and he would be lying on top of me like like over the covers but he'd just be lying on top of me and he'd be like you know you're the

prettiest sleeper are you lying is that real yeah that's the craziest thing i've ever heard well there were four of us so it wasn't like oh no i'm alone with this person situation to be like oh mark is crazy that is a very terrifying thing yeah he's also like the strongest guy i knew so So it was like, uh-oh, Mark doesn't decide I have to be his. My roommates would bully me my freshman year a little bit. You? It's hard to believe. The bad Jeremy?

The bad Jeremy. I remember one time they tried to get a big Confederate flag in our suite, even though they're all from New York State. Those are probably everyone's favorite kind of guys. Yeah, and I had to be like. Yankees who need the Confederate flag around. I had to complain to our RA because they were just like, we are gonna do it yeah uh and then one time they tied it what they tied it did you do a little test

and then the school was like this is who you belong with by the way yeah yeah i was these guys are just like you they asked me a question are you racist and i went check big check um this is i swear to god this is true they tied a uh switchblade to a fishing line and swung it around and chanted jeremy's afraid of knives jeremy's afraid of dying oh my god and these guys rock i had to be like haha very funny guys but like i seriously tell on you again i will tell on you so fast i i it wasn't even that that was just like that's a very funny prank guys fishing line is quite weak like please don't swing it at me um but i'm cool with this joke we're all in on and no one got hurt doing this uh i was stabbed in the face no really no it was fine it was totally

cool face looks like that yeah yeah no we're still very close yeah i did not talk to those guys if any of them listen to this podcast i'm surprised they're actually in a militia now yeah um they were bad let's read this question i thought it was the twilight zone it was a car crash okay you know and i said that i would turn the sound down on the car crash because people kept saying that it sounds like their car is crashing when they listen to the podcast in the car but i don't want to we don't have to say to that i clicked the i double strong delay up there with the moo but no it's a quick one but i i i when i clicked it it um

there it is i um it went to change the name of it you know sometimes they'll do that oh that's that's annoying um click anyway this question is did electricity change good question what do you think so in terms of like how we get these submissions some of them are good answers some of them are interesting topics some are just good questions i so here's the thing is we have no way of knowing of electricity change right you think this is like a mandela effect kind of thing like you would have to know the no i don't i'm not saying it's mandela effect i'm just saying If electricity or Nelson Mandela was different in, let's say, the year 850 or whatever, how would you know about that? What would be your record of knowing?

What if it changed in our lifetimes? What color do you think of electricity being? Blue? Yellow? Red. Red. See, you might be from the dimension where it's red and they spelled Berenstain different because I think of it as blue and yellow. Well, it's actually white, isn't it?

I don't think electricity has a color. I walked right into this crap but when I in like a cartoon if I peek at you I'm the dumbest man alive going all in on electricity was red

I don't know man that might be a that would be something it might have well here's some here's my point is I don't think that you have any way of really knowing as our lives are so short and fickle and that it would make more sense if the cherisher loved ones draw a pentagram

that's what I'm saying consult a friendly low level demon like Lucifer if we can bring Lucifer who's very respectful but not his quote on quote wife hey leave your wife at home Lucifer it's boys night what was electricity like

is it different now I want to summon Lucifer to ask him quaras I would love to do that that's having him as a guest on our lovely podcast you know what I said as a joke and I actually got scared so no I don't want to do that Don't you hate it when you summon your boys and they bring their wives? Oh, my goodness.

Stop bringing your quote-unquote wife Lilith around, Lucifer. I feel like I am guilty of this more than anyone. You're playing poker. I'm playing plus one all the goddamn time when I go to the demon meeting. You do need to draw a pentagram to summon Alex. It's a stag house. You know what that means. uh ian lang qualified electrician or sorry electronic engineer lee oh let's let's hear

from nerd ass nerd boy ian he says it did what what oh my camera turned off again yeah so the camera turned off what was it what were we saying electricity has changed oh yeah of changed and it's different and an electrician is saying that it used to be the humble bit player in life and stayed in the shadows of gas lamps candles and the steam engine shut the fuck up that was doing that it

was a nice hard-working kid always eager to please and generally pleasant to everybody does everyone talk like this on here that didn't deserve being pleasant to when somebody came up with the light bulb but got its big break and developed a few airs and graces but it had paid

its dues and done its time so we all thought that was fair enough i don't know why this is making me so bad but i fucking hate this guy i hate this guy with all my heart uh and it's not as if it's being too egregious so let it have its time in the spotlight you know electricity i'm good friends with it actually because i see it every day at my job this gets worse he says then somebody came up with the with computerized systems now electricity is all yeah bitches your entire world depends on me now who's your daddy go on say it i'll whip your little pink arses if you don't do everything i want do you know who i am sometimes i sit down in a chair and remind and remind it of the volta days

and the fact that we still have candles i'm gonna kill this guy i hate this i'm making a legal threat against this quora user pissing me off like that stop being so poetic about electricity I will say the first answer to this is electricity has all caps. Never changed. Bam. You got shot, Ian Lang. Don't come at me with lyricism. I hate this man.

He thinks he's the Eminem of this choropos. Rails against the tide. Presumably why people call me Canute. What? He says he's a polymath. Polymath? Not as clever as I think I am. I mend things, sometimes with a keyboard, sometimes with a great big hammer. Sometimes I use a keyboard as a great big hammer.

They're not usually successful mends, but they are cathartic. Just don't talk about the time I accidentally blew up an RSC and took 10 computers, 20 printers, and a performance monitor screened down simultaneously. Hey, I left them the switches and router. All right, I don't want to hear about this anymore. I don't want to hear any more of the way this man talks. I really do hate this man with all my heart. He has done terrible things. Ian, if you're listening, we hate you.

We hate you. This is not a bit. We think you're a bad person morally. It's nothing you've done. It's just how you are. It's unfixable. Alex is threatening your wife. I'm going to find you.

He's Beavis and he's got a gun. I'm dangerous and I'm the hit television show. Yes, that guy sucks. That made me really mad. Should we find one last Quora? yeah we gotta find one that was that's not that again this is a really simple final one and then jesus christ i'm mad i think this is a good question okay what are shower onions that is a good question i don't know sam binder is it soap i i don't know ask me the shower onions

all the all the answers pretty much like huh hey butthead don't drop the shower onions in prison there you go yeah okay what was it say for the answer all of them were like that's a good question one person says um my own my own personal research on this subject suggests that they are onions which for no discernible reason are stored in a shower what what are we saying one person says love a challenge love a challenge i guess shower onions would be products such as face wash slash shampoo when this gets in your eye it stings and can make you cry quite similar to when

you dice up a big old brown onion and there's an onion emoji love a challenge um Jeremy I love a challenge I like that they like they saw this as like a quiz yeah what are shower onion oh I love a quiz nonsense words you got it

okay shower onion shower onion shower onion shower onions this is like the da Vinci code when i cut into it there's there's a problem that's part of it what crawls at night does not wear clothes when it swims um one person says they're the little balls and pellets of bodily fluid and doo-doo that fall out of your crack during a shower i don't i don't like that i don't think that should be happening i don't tell me about that uh okay here seems like a real answer it says it's a fad going through tiktok and other social media just a trend nothing more

what is it it could be a white so it's real spanish or red onion they're calling it a shower okay so just a big fancy name that's all oh so it's not it's actually an actual onion you put in the shower because you're so wacky um i guess because it's your tiktok this person says there is a fad at least i hope it's a fad and short-lived at that going around on twitter we know twitter if there's a fad on twitter i'd have seen it yeah you would have clocked that uh you would have written down your twitter journal most shower onions today january 7th today there was a new main character it was the onion um noble onion if there's a fad on twitter it's usually like saying that himbo's is pedophilia or whatever yeah yeah it's not usually we like to have fruits yeah it's

a tiktok thing um it's going around on twitter that you can remove musty or moldy smells in damp areas by slicing an onion and putting the slices in your bathroom or basement personally i wouldn't i would rather use a good exhaust fan or open window a few entries suggest that onions get stuck in garbage disposals and can cause the water from a shower to sound like onions all caps bolded never put onions or skins down the disposal uh i didn't know that and papery membranes between layers can get stuck behind the grinding parts that never go down completely i'm learning i'm learning that's huge okay yeah the part where they were like actually it's knowledge that onions clean

the smell of the shower. I was like, that does sound like something that I could read on Twitter because it's a bold-faced lie. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so yeah, that was actually very educational of us and a really good job on our podcast. Now, there is one last answer on this.

And I saved this one for last because it says, I read the other answers, but they are all incorrect. Oh, never mind. Shower onions are red onions grown in a shower. What? How? How would you do that? They are natural exfoliants, and when crushed on the body during a hot shower,

the juice is a natural surfactant, which is great for cleaning your face. A fantastic deodorizer. Slice one up and wipe your armpits. No smell. Cut chunks to put into your shoes and socks. Lovely, fresh smell. Not onion-y at all. Honest.

What? What are you saying? how would you grow an onion in the shower you bring dirt and like soil and seeds i don't know i feel like people like to have plants in their shower sometimes and then you take it out of the plant you rub yourself with it and it doesn't smell like itself i think this guy might be doing a little troll i don't know which way is up anymore we've confused alex i'm genuinely you're gonna have to send me to the hospital i love a good challenge the first the electricity guy came and he just he just disgraced the show with the way he talks and then the shower onions

i'm worried that our final question that we ask on quora is just gonna be like what's going on what is happening stop doing this cut it out that's enough we've hit a breaking we're so early into our quora show too i feel like we're gonna do so many more of these we're only going to have more disdain for quora years down the line we're gonna we're just gonna speak their language okay all right i can't wait for that okay let's come up with a let's let's come up with a quora here here put down your microphone let's really get brainstorming okay quora this is gonna be a big hit so what are we talking about today we talked about a lot of things today being circumcised we talked about i think circumcision is a good prompt to get a

circumcision quora community definitely let's find out there's i have never been more confident in something in my entire life than that there is a circumcision quora community jeremy is searching we're waiting all right let's see let's see circumcised men is a topic yeah um we can upload a photo for it what can we go in normal or we have to put a we have to prove it hold on what i just uploaded the quora the creator's logo okay i'm gonna think of the question while you're doing important computer work over there there is a topic that 37 people including alex patak follow called circumcised men and i i 37 you put me in a little a little group here and now the logo for this topic is the

curator's logo let's get it trending let's juice this in the chat and people are asking questions such as does being cut feel any different for a guy comparing to being uncut how would you know were you circumcised as an adult there are other questions such as does being cut feel any differently for a guy compared to being uncut this is a different question from a different man so they're all asking the same question and those are the two questions under circumcised men okay What we're going to ask is, if I was circumcised as an adult, would my pleasure increase or decrease? Amazing question.

Yeah. Because people are going to have strong opinions about that. First of all, women are going to be chiming in left and right to say, I don't know. I have no frame of experience for this. All right. This is a great question. Yeah. Okay.

I'm sure I'll use your suggestion. Let's go. circumcision pleasure adult question human body sex penises cut me sexuality adulthood and psychology of everyday life those are our topics slice me up and that is answered if you would like to answer it yourself a listener please put scrambled eggs in there use the word scrambled eggs such as it probably feels like scrambled eggs i imagine there'll be some very creative uses of that yeah that's a that's a question and that's a quora and so we've done a very good job this week thank you for staying here with us here on the quorators podcast the

number one podcast for quora and its uses yes i've been alex and i'm here with jeremy kaplowitz we'll see you over on Quora on the website we use I'll see you there