Quorators - Do You Agree With Wife Sharing? w/ Katie Rose Leon

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What Would Nietzsche Think Of Louis CK? To men: Do you take your scrotum out when you pee? Why or why not? So, Mr. atheist, did you know that dinosaurs are mentioned in the Bible? ----- Listen to Leong/Leon's The Professional Wrestling Podcast: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/leongleons-the-professional-wr-5372538 Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators 

Oh, before we start, so at the top, are we going to pretend that we have a big announcement next week on our channel? And then we'll be like, we were fired? Oh, no. Should we tease it up as like, go to Quarters YouTube? I think we just tell them this is our last episode of season two and go to our channel. Yeah, okay, okay. But I want to play all things on and then all things on and then do the Quarters thing over. Sure, sure. I just wasn't, we're not going to admit yet that we were fired. That's the reveal.

Oh, no. Yeah. Okay. Because we think it'll be funny to be like, we're not. Don't know you've been fired because I'm here. It's like seeing a camera. I'm the death knell for any project. Truly a dark omen. I'm ready when you are. Okay.

Play the music. And is it recording? Yeah. Okay. Have you played the music? Sound speed. Happy New Year. Wow.

Wow. I never thought we'd be here. Did you? No. Here at 2024. In the Cracked Studio Live. Home of the fact. It's the Quarators Podcast 2024.

Listen to Quarators 2024. A new year, a new you. Don't eat so much chocolate. Shut up. I'm Alex. I'm Jeremy. We have a very special guest for you this week, somewhat of a harbinger in a way. All sorts of tidings.

We have content celebrity Katie Rose Leon. Katie? Oh, thank you so much, Alex, for being here. And thank you for fully admitting that I have no credits anymore. It's so funny to do nothing and keep getting invited on things. Falling Out Super podcast. If we put Comedy Central around your name on a poster, where are people going to look it up?

I technically was in a Comedy Central digital short, so it does count. There you go. Oh, baby! There you go. Hey, before we get into this, this is our last episode on the Cracked YouTube. If you want to see more Quarators,

head to our YouTube at Quarators. Quarators, the page on Quarators. It has all of our episodes, even the ones you've been watching here. It's all the same, and it's the... Go ahead, ring the bell. Like and subscribe. Are you doing it?

The plug's up top, you have to do it. Hey guys, welcome to my page. Like and subscribe. I'm an assistant to Mrs. Katie. Hit the bell. This is our third episode of the week, or the day. Of the day. And we're tired.

But it's also the start of a new year, isn't it, Jeremy? It sort of is. And so we're really excited to tackle a new chapter. Great new questions all year long. You're on season 2.9. This is the season two finale. Season two finale, someone will die at the end of this recording.

2.9 you cannot stop I'm willing to die it's gonna be Jeremy if you're watching now okay watch for Jeremy death cam

like and subscribe also like and subscribe we're very fortunate that first of all like and subscribe our show came out on both Christmas day

and New Year's day yes the best time for content no one's doing anything else you needed something to listen to on the long drive

to your bitch aunt's house and that's where we come in yeah and so we are answering when as we do our last week on quarter segment at the beginning of the show as you know katie returning guest um when you take from a community we are going to be answering our quick christmas question first now what did we ask during the christmas episode a classic christmas question what is your favorite war crime oh you know what you say this is the right group of men no one will ask you a personal question for the rest of the night and i love that that's a that's a brooklyn classic

uh i think uh i gave one answer last time but um there's all kinds of good options did i mention pushing people off a cliff no oh is that a war crime yeah sure it is probably right if you do it during war if you do it during war if you do it in a bad way doing that if you do it with a sense of justice that's all right and there's like sonic the hedgehog spikes at the bottom yeah like um if you do it to scar it's not but if you do to mufasa it is oh yeah that makes sense there's it's complicated uh but anyway did we get any answers on this uh yeah mark owen says prescott bush and his banking buddies for funding the rise of the nazi party not only prior to world war ii but for a further two years into the war in europe that the american federal government

only acted after pearl harbor to stop this lunatic that said the same colonial state realized it could not this is just a real but also it's like define what favorite means to you yeah define what are we pro or anti because the word favor is in favorite which would make me think that this is something you like yeah it's to bring up a hit war crime but i'm also gonna say giving money not one of the war crimes war crimes are usually when murder happens yeah um amy says enjoy prison Human Trafficker. Thank you. Oh, damn.

I'm going to downvote that. Amy's a fan of the show. I recognize those comments from the YouTube cracked page. And then, yeah, I don't know. Andrew K. says, Agent Orange, because orange is my favorite fruit. See, that's a good answer. That's a good answer. Great band, great fruit.

One of the top colors you can have. Now, I got to say, if you are listening to the show, then you, of course, know when you answer our questions, Be sure to use your code word, scrambled eggs. And that way we'll know that you're with the gang. Is that going to change in the new year? No. We keep it as easy as we can for people because they're animals.

I will not be downloading a second picture of food. See, that's how we know that Amy isn't a listener. Because she'd be like, enjoy prison, human trafficker, scrambled eggs. Enjoy your scrambled eggs in prison. In prison, you human traffickers, left-handed files. That's okay. You're a minor. Thanks for commenting.

Wait, have you guys been pizza gated? Every fucking week. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Is it just because you're genuinely Jewish? Because I get that a lot, too. I'm just part of it, yeah. Yeah, he's said this before, and so I'm just like, I'm a goy of looking through the glass.

Yeah, he's just a nice Catholic boy. Oh. Yeah. Me, I'm a human trafficker. Yeah, that's how it goes, though, right? If you make a few videos on Cracked, every now and then you'll get a comment that are like, big nose equals human trafficking. People's big crimes.

Look it up. Google it. This is the home of facts, as Alex announced at the top of it. That will always be true, no matter if I'm on the channel or not. Yes, it is always the home of the fact. You think they'll keep using that expression that no one used while we were here? They made all that merch. Surely it's getting out there.

Well, these are some great war crimes. And I'm glad we could recap our Christmas episode with them. But it's time to get on theme. It's New Year's. Do you have any resolutions for yourself in this bright new year? I resolve to have more Waffles the Cat in our Glorators episodes. He is a diva. Yes.

Be warned. Rob, you've been replaced. Rob shrugged. He doesn't care. He says that we're cringe. You just called me a human trafficker. Waffles has, despite his many faults, never done that. No.

He has scratched my ear so I bled. Yeah. That kind of pissed me off. But anyway, my resolution is to eat better. Wow. Cool. So we got some great quarters for you today. What's our first segment here?

Okay, our first segment is Corbin and Fruit. It is the religion segment. Let's see if he does it. Where did I put the sound? What's it going to be? What's it going to be? No! You always call the police.

Can I just make a comment about the last time I was on this show? I'd love to hear it. You're so upset. You guys used a clip of me talking about a Christian baby and accidentally put me onto atheist internet. The atheists have mistaken me for someone who cares. I'm not a religious person. I'm not saying I'm, you know, whatever.

But it's very funny to wake up and find out that you have a hundred comments from people being like, Atheist queen. Extons want to shut this down, idiots. And I'm like, I didn't prepare for this this morning. I think you gave birth to Christ. You're the virgin queen. So I'm looking forward to serving the needs of my people. Sure.

Atheists. Well, we have a great question for you today. This is one of our top ones. We've been sitting on this one for a few weeks here. Now that Christ has returned using Trump as his vessel, should a new modern gospel be written in his honor? So, Trump gospel, yes or no? It would be so fun to read.

Whenever there's a gospel on the table, I'm saying yes. There'd be a whole section about Robert Pattinson or whatever. Oh, yeah. It's just like a gossip section of the Bible. Yeah. There would be a lot of gossip. Kristen Stewart's washed up. Thou shall not continue dating her washed-up ass.

Also, like, would McDonald's be part of the sacrament? Yeah, at Diet Coke. Oh, yeah. That's one of the cheapest sacraments you can have. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think he should do that and have one. I think it would be great.

I'd love to read. I genuinely would be happy if Trump, like, quit politics to write a Bible. Honestly? That would be awesome. Yeah, he would be much more fathomable as a cult leader than just trying to be a politician. That'd be great.

Is the concept that he has it written about him, or he's God's vessel, right? It says. He's God's vessel. Yeah, I mean, like. Oh, it says in his honor, so they're like, who's up for a free. Most charitably, Jared writes it. Otherwise, it's just some bozo lawyer.

He's got a flock of seagulls haircut, and he's just like, he's taking notes. Where is a flock of seagulls haircut? The ones that work for the big man. That's true. Anyway. AKA Trump. I think we're all on the same page here.

Let's see how mad everybody got in the quarter. Also, I just want to say that I think he could write it, but like through God, right? Like Joseph Smith style, where he was just like, God told me all this stuff, so I wrote it down for him. Make it the bottom of my hand. He's more or less already doing that. Yeah. Yeah.

He's like, he said I could have this, so. God loves me. He's the king. People are saying it's a troll. Andy Byrd. Oh, well, this is the best trolling in history. The best? The best trolling in history.

Obviously, no one's ever seen any of the Jackass movies. Yeah. We're Blood Ninja. Sorry, honey. I've had far better. You call this a troll? There's a poster of the Rick Roll in this office, so that's how I know I'm in the right place.

Frankster's welcome. But not us, per se. Other people. Now, we got some other good questions. This is admittedly not the one I was excited for. I was excited for the next one. Okay, all the answers are just like, you need help. Go to a therapy.

You are mentally unwell. Go to jail. Go to jail right now. I'm sending you a Wonka meme with Trump. It's a Wonka Trump. This is fascinating. It's Trump's face over the Wonka face. Yes.

So it's like an orange Wonka. Literally the dumbest fucking thing I've read all day is the comment. I want that picture. You can have it. I need pictures of Trump Wonka. I'm on your computer. I can save it. Donald Trump Wonka.

What would that be like? Good news. It's now you have it. Okay, thank you. Jeremy's so good at the computer. Send it as his desktop. I could. It's a bargain working with such a smart young man.

I'm so tired. Trump Wonka, you have to look at all his orange candy. Hey, Katie, come do our podcast. You're the third of the day we've been fired. That's not true. We would never be fired. We left on our own accord. Certainly not for our truth.

With dignity. And our heads held high as well. But anyway, this next question. I love this next one. So, Mr. Atheist, did you know that dinosaurs are mentioned in the Bible? Please, Mr. Atheist is my father. This is the one I was excited about. I love this one.

Don't talk to me that way. I know about dinosaurs. Who do you think is Mr. Atheist? Who do you think it is? Is it me? Is it Bill Hicks? Yeah, it's Bill Hicks. Because he has that bit about it.

It's probably like Bill Mars Religious. Sure. He is Mr. Atheist. He's graduated to Mr. Atheist. It's Penn Jillette, I'm pretty sure. Or isn't he a Satanist? Did I make that up? Did you know dinosaurs are in the Bible?

Now, where are dinosaurs in the Bible? You're both Jewish scholars. I was about to say. Someone barely Jewish. I can't say I've read up recently. It's got to be Old Testament, right? It's definitely not Roman era. It's probably like, and on the fourth day, there were dinosaurs, and I acknowledge that.

How dare you. And Noah said, bring the velociraptors, because there's going to be a really cool franchise that needs these. I need an animal that can open doors. Make sure to include velociraptors. They're smarter than people know about. Also, it's like, not to give a real answer about this, but if you go into art history, there's so many examples of a dude telling a dude

about an animal they've never seen before and then they try to paint it. And that's probably, if there were dinosaurs in there, which I don't think there are, they're probably just describing an alligator to him. And they're like, great lizards upon Jacob's head did bite. Alligators are dinosaurs. If that's a sneak around, that's how you can get in.

On another note, how big is that boat? That's got to be freaking huge. It's a pretty big boat. It's got to be like an aircraft carrier plus. You're getting two of every animal. You know, I thought the Carnival Cruise was big, but this is a really big boat. And I have a question.

All the dinos are on it. How do you feel about this, Mr. Atheist? I'm triggered. I am triggered, and I'm molding. Well, yeah, Dinosaur Noah would be quite the sitcom. Mr. Atheist and me. I see what you're doing, and I approve. I'm a great talent.

Now, I bet the answers to this kind of suck. Yeah, I bet they do. What do you think about that? I don't know. What do you think about it, Mr. Atheist? I don't know. Oh, I should mention that the other question. Throw it to the page.

The one we did before about Trump was on donewiththebullshit.quora.com. Sheesh. It kind of rocks. Oh, Quora has like subreddits? Oh, they're sub-Quora's. They're sub-Quora's. And you can... Also, you pay for them?

It's not really clear. I like gave my email to Quora.com and I want to say 2006. Yeah, they got you now forever. Enjoy your emails about what it's like to shower with a quora. It's the longest relationship I've had besides interpunk.com, which I think went out of business. They also send an email every day for the rest of my life. Hopefully not as much about incest. Well, you know, pop punk.

Yeah, okay, fair enough. Pedophilia all the same. Tell me more about interpunk.com. It was the website where you went to buy a backpatch when you were 13 because it was the only game in town. Cool. Cool. Read about that on punknews.org. What do you think about that?

Like and subscribe. Hit the bell. Hit the bell. Rebecca says, no, dinosaurs are not mentioned anywhere in the Bible. Not a single mention of them appears anywhere in any of the books in the Old or New Testaments. You are either very confused, someone has lied to you, or more likely, you are deliberately lying to Quarrens. Whoa.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Quarrens. Is that common vernacular? We've seen it once or twice. It's by heavy users. We were trying to figure out if it's Karens for Quora, but we think it's just people. No, I think it's the people of Quora. Like as if they're citizens of Quora.

Like citizens. Where is Mr. Atheist? You swipe in on Hinge and it's like, I'm a Leo, Gemini rising, Quoran, if you know, you know. That makes it sound like moron, though. why do you think about that Mr. Atheist it triggers me again it triggers me to hear

would someone really lie to a Quarren would you go on the internet and lie why would anyone lie on the internet it's a bastion of truth is it just for clout let me read the rest of this by the way lie for Quarrens for the clout

she says let me assure you We're not quite so green as we're cabbage looking. Go and do something constructive, but if you can't manage to achieve that, just go, go anywhere. Just go away. Oh, and incidentally, I'm not Mr. Atheist. At a pitch, you could address me as a Miss Atheist, or more correctly, Dr. Atheist. I'd like to point out. Oh, doctorate revealed.

Dr. Atheist is a Ms. Atheist. You said Mrs. I said Ms. The doctor is a woman. You're right, Ms. Thank you. I just want to note for the listeners of the show that is full circle of what I've been saying

we've been saying it a lot it's Dr. Atheist doctor is a woman, bestiality those are the two things that we say on this show check our iTunes reviews, you'll find it to be true and then check the bible for dinosaurs, I've heard they're in there so happy to be here, can't wait to be clipped into this

like and subscribe Katie approves of bestiality, the clip? Aaron, this is going to be my reaction on the thumbnail, I'm going to be like Alex hates silver people? If you're listening, I'm like... Yeah, just picture that. Just picture him going like that.

Yeah, picture it with my face when I did that. This guy Richard says, that's Lord Atheist to you. Everyone's just correcting the title here. My Lord. What the fuck? So it's like, I don't believe in God, but I do believe in the feudal system.

Yes. My lady. I am Lord Atheist. In which people are divined by God to own land. We are quickly approaching a Reddit sadness with the speed of lords. Sorry. I think it's their fault. A lot of people are saying that's Mrs. Atheist.

I hate this. This sucks. Let's move on. Tim Hill. I like this guy. Tim Hill says, my name is Mr. Hill. You got my name wrong. Thank you, Tim Hill.

You are a photographer. Tim Hill is very, you know, he doesn't want to get his name. Not to get too into it, but it's just very funny. There was a big controversy on Twitter today about doxing and stuff, and I kind of made a joke about it. A lot of people were like, I like your content a lot, Jeremy, but doxing is too far. And I was like, yeah, I've never doxed anybody.

Yeah, don't listen to the podcast. No, I've never. And definitely don't go too far. That's why Jeremy's loving to accidentally dox people constantly, giving names, professions, addresses. Let me be clear. It is not an accident. Tim Hill lives in West Midlands, UK.

From 1970 to present. Where did he go to high school? And he has studied music, jazz, rock, fusion, Latin, rap, pop, and classical. Oh, that's cool as hell. And we have one follower in common. Who is it? Hans Probsting. Shout out to Hans.

You're the Quarrior's Follower of the Week. I think we follow him. Make sure to go to our new channel, Hans, because honestly, we're afraid of losing a lot of traffic. But you can make the difference. Oh, God, I'm drunk. Like and subscribe. Also like and subscribe. Again, not this channel.

A different channel. Also, you like this side? We're going to get in trouble for that. Okay, let's go to Quora MD. Yes, please. Hit that button. I'm going to the button. Alex, what is your success rate on button hits?

It's just freaking... My second button press is like 80%. What about the first one? The first one has a much lower rate. And this is our medical segment. What's with this music? Doesn't it sound like you're in a hospital? Not remotely.

Oh, I'm quite sick. Well, what's the music that should play in a hospital to you when you think you're in a hospital? It's not usually music so much as like... Oh, it's not music? Well, what if it has to be on a button? The song ended. That's never happened before.

Here's a good question. Here's a question that was on everybody's minds. Can you get high by inhaling pills? Yo. I mean, yes. Yes, you can. You certainly can. If you choke on them, yeah, you can get high.

What if you don't choke on them? You swallow them. No, because you don't swallow them if you're inhaling them. They go into your lungs. I guess that's true. Well, then I guess you die and you get DMT shit. Are they implying that these are not crushed? They're still in shell?

I don't think any pills go in your lungs. I'm going to say it. I don't think there's a pill dust that's lung approved. Oh, I guess they're saying inhaling as opposed to up the nose. Up the nose, right? Do you inhale cocaine? If they're using the... Oh, yeah, you do inhale cocaine.

Well, no. You're just snorting it. Well, you snort. It goes in your nose membranes. This is, again, like we really should do... We should go to school longer before we do the podcast. Let's get out of here. We should just be wiser and know more.

But I also think that cocaine is transmissible. I guess you would just choke. Yeah, Alex is correct, because if you're saying in the lung. You know what? If it's vernacular, like if you're talking to Teen Wolf and you're like, let's inhale some drugs, Teen Wolf, that could mean eat them really fast, and that would do it. Then you could get high that way.

You could have a bunch of mushrooms on your pizza. He has a problem. Teen Wolf? Yeah. Yeah, he's cheating on his girlfriend. Yeah, well, they're not dating. Well, he doesn't know who's good for him. Teen Wolf's a crazy movie.

I know we talk about it every week, but it's a wolf who does normal. He does all kinds of things that I do, like surf on the top of a van. Yeah, and a woman has sex with him because he's a wolf. Yeah, she wants his wolf pleasure. They have sex, and she keeps going, turn into the wolf. Go wolf mode on me. Go wolf mode. And that's in the film.

Yeah, she wants to be torn asunder by claws. I mean, there's a whole subsection of erotica about that. I don't think it's that weird. Well, you say it's not weird, but it is weird. It is weird. It involves being torn asunder by a wolf. I mean, I'm usually brought out here to make you more palatable, to upset people.

Katie, she's an apparatee to get you ready for wolf discourse. Or maybe I'm the only woman you know. Either way. We know just one. You're in my top five. That's right. How long before my wife gets on the podcast? Before we have the wives episode.

Protect the wives. I have to insist you don't do that to the people you love. We had Alyssa on a ball now that we recorded. Alyssa's gone on twice, I think, for a bonus. And after we finished, I was like, you got to keep talking. The whole thing is you just got to keep talking. It was a very funny conversation. Okay, yeah, so we're at a hospital.

Speaking of gender, here's a question that says two men. Oh. Two men. Do you take your scrotum out when you pee? Why or why not? This is a great question. Please, please advise. Man here.

Yeah, I do. I take it all the way out. You're going to the urinal, you're zipping, and you're taking your balls out? If you have the J-O pants, then you can do it. No, that's from later. I know. Oh, no, wait, that's last week. People know about jack-off pants as a concept,

which is a pants with extra long zippers you could jack off easier during them as is viral on twitter.com slash x.com and so knowing that you gotta take a scrotum out I deleted my x account because I couldn't deal with it and I just assumed it was

imploding but J.O. pants are as old as time folks is that true? oh I mean yeah you know as a woman of New York experience I've seen many people jack off through their sweatpants when I'm just trying to go home Have they had a zipper that lets them zip all the way open their crotch?

There's got to be a better way. It's not just they are sticking their hands in deep pockets to glove it. We can't do it right now. We can't do it right now. We talked about this a lot on our bonus. Well, you should. Oh, my God. It's a brand.

We read the whole website. We can't talk about it. I thought you were just making an observation about a culture. Oh, my God. Unfortunately, we are worried that it could be a Nathan Fielder bit, and we will get fooled. Yeah, and then we'll be cringe. And we'll be cringe.

$80? We had this conversation. We can't talk about this anymore. We read the entire website. Rob, do you take your scrotum out when you pee? Why or why not? Just give us a thumbs up or a thumbs down on that. Thumbs down.

Thumbs down. No scrotum remains in. The questions we've read today have really made me question, what is the scrotum? That's where I'm getting scared. I mean, isn't that your precious babies? It is my precious. Which you want to protect them from public scrutiny.

It's the ball skin, right? Is that not the scrotum? I thought it was in between. No, the scrotum is the house that your balls live in. Oh, my God. Do you not know? In between what? I don't know.

In between a rock and a hard place. Alex. Ask me. Alex, do you not know? We're talking about a hard place with a penis, folks. And the rock being two balls. That's right. Two rocks.

And it's between those? It's not between. I'd say it's more of a tarp sometimes I think about sometimes it's more like a camping

situation oh shit we have an email Cracked wants us to do another year no no they don't like and subscribe

hit the bell Cracked home of the facts I can't hear Robby's not on mic so you think he says yes okay I hope our commenters

are happy the people who hate us I hope that they're like finally finally they're going to jail returns as someone who's generally hated on the internet yeah they do get pretty psyched when you go away let's go anything to read a nice comment all right so anyway do people take these out or what gotta keep that in uh dav hardrit says if i'm using just if i'm just using the fly then no because it's it'd be crowded and uncomfortable like three

dogs trying to stick their heads out of a window car. Oh, I get it immediately by the way. Thank you for that imagery. I like to think of my dick and balls as three dogs. They're barking. But if I unbutton and or pull my pants down in private

of course, sure, I'll let the boys out for some air. Feels good. This is giving me Sink Peers vibes. Oh, yeah. That shit's weird. Don't do that. It's giving three dogs. Yeah, it's like... That's what I say. looking at my scrotum out.

Kind of a joke from classical history. Yes. Wow. Cerebus, our famous historical figure, the dog with three heads. It's Cerberus.

Is that what it is? You know nothing of Hades and his beasts. Cerberus? Season three, Quora goes back to school. We don't know nothing. I really don't.

Quorators, that's the dean. Miguel says, who's a former firefighter. You're pretty cool. Don't show up to Corridor's next season. Miguel says,

usually I do pull both the penis and scrotum out over the top of my underwear if I'm wearing underwear. Sorry, I'm still laughing at Alex doing

a school shoot-off. No, I agree. I wanted to get all of it in there at the same time. Yeah, it's good when you can buy its flavors.

Yeah. It's like a palette. It's like a palette. Jeremy understands. A pair. We're getting better at the podcast every week. this is a tight ship

we're so good at podcasting it's like Muppet Treasure Island I'm really contributing I think you are Katie do you pull your scrotum out when you pee definitely you gotta let those boys breathe you gotta let those dogs hang I keep the balls in

I just take out the skin you're like Scrooge asking what day it is I don't hear what you said but I'm kind of like Scrooge asking what day it is that's crazy that's just what I said mind meld third episode of the day

let's do another one I let this grow to behold the penis for aiming and I can then pee and check my phone like Lee Harvey Oswald setting up the shot you know the human condition is so beautiful there's so many different perspectives

and way to live 2024 is going to be our year like and subscribe sponsored by jack off pants hit the bell the bell but not this bell hit go to quarry right scrambled eggs at checkout for free jack off when we say like and subscribe we need somewhere else there's only so many jokes that can be said listen do we have another do we have another medical i didn't get the dossier on what was covered okay i laminated our dossier you didn't even read it i didn't fucking read it all right you're such a nag it's a new year god still the same you

shout out to our song This is going to get you demonetized This is, yeah Certainly this one Who owns Old Lang Syne? I don't know It probably is public domain, but depending on the recording Guy Lombardo does

Don't say his name That's like inviting a vampire in Guy Lombardo, Guy Lombardo, Guy Lombardo Are you going to practice before this? What the fuck is happening? I was a goth teenager once I know how this works I don't need any.

You need a mirror. Please. And what is a camera if not a mirror? And what are we if not holding a mirror up to society? It's a new year. Can't we share songs? Here's a question that won't get us in any trouble. Is autism a demon or Satan manifesting in people?

Yes. I just watched a horror movie about this. Did you? Yeah. Oh, is it Talk to Me? No. If I had my phone in front of me, I could tell you, but unfortunately, I simply cannot. I can't remember.

It was in Spanish. Oh. Yeah, I know. I watched Talk to Me, which is like the Gen Z horror movie, which is like, look out, this ghost is based. Well, it would not be based. Extremely cringe. The ghost is choogy.

Look, TikTok the ghost. You can tell it's here. It's getting re-talked. You're losing the accent. What is the accent? It's supposed to be Australian. The movie's in Australian. Oh, is it?

Okay. Oh, nar indeed. Oh, no. Our nar occurs. We do this every goddamn week. Is autism a demon or Satan manifesting? Okay, let's think it through. So what are the traits of autism?

They're very vague, not unlike the trickery of the devil. I don't know, just having special interest, I guess. Yeah, knowing too much. Why you got to know so much about numbers? are you the devil some kind of infernal contact he's got that

devil numbers in him yeah what's the movie 23 about except about how knowing too many numbers makes you the devil

I'm gonna go ahead and say no that's what it seems that autism is not I'm gonna say no too I shot my shot and I'm gonna clip I'm gonna clip Alex

on that one I'm all in on yes throw him to the wolves on TikTok I'm not afraid of the wolves I'm protected by the lord TikTok would tear you apart

for that one they'd be very upset We'll see. We'll see about 2024 as new me. I'm blessed by the holy light. I cannot be tainted by autistic demons. I'm on the tracks of spiritual healing from death under Alex right now. Anyway, people are mad about this.

Yeah, I mean, it's pretty fucked. Rob, are we recording this one? Wouldn't it be funny if we weren't? Yeah, you're good. Wouldn't it be funny? I'm too sweaty to start over. We got to keep going. Why did they build such a fart box for you to podcast in?

There's not a single vent in here. Well, it's soundproof. Relatively not really. It's not. It's not. Well, the door doesn't close all the way. I think it did. The cracked people can hear us yelling.

They can. They're working on their lists, and they can hear us yelling. Are they checking them twice? No, because it's not Christmas. It's New Year's. 2024. Cracked stole a website. Did you know?

All right. We have to be nice to cracked. You did. They're on the channel. Please. They upload this video for us. That's their problem. Let's move on to Colossus.

She's too much trouble. Okay, hold on. We're getting it in here. By the way, it is the same noise as the religion segment. That's just something you have to accept. That's pretty much the same concept. Okay. This one has no answers on it.

I think we're going to have a lot to say. Okay. What would Nietzsche think of Louis C.K.? you would think he's let his super ego take over and imagine did Nietzsche have any fucking daughters who were annoying

that he could talk about and be like they're so annoying but I fucking love them my fucking daughters I'm fucking jacking off I got a huge mustache hey look at me look at my fucking huge mustache let's see how many things we can name

about Nietzsche Oh, wait, Nietzsche's famously an incel. Is he? Yeah. He lived in the woods. He got a big mustache. He got a big mustache, invented existentialism. The sperm makes him mad.

The sperm makes him mad. I'd assume he wouldn't like Louis C.K. Yeah? Why? Because he's too boisterous. Well, but that's an uber-mench quality, isn't it, to be such an eloquent elecutor? I'm so greatly unqualified to do this.

I'm trying to reach for a joke. I don't even know who Louisa Kay is. Jeremy is the youngest person I've ever met. He only knows about ninja. I don't even know what it is to be chewed up. Once you're out of college, it's just gone. What would Nietzsche think of Dream, maybe, the question could be. Dream, the YouTuber or whatever?

Yeah, the Minecraft YouTuber. Maybe that would be easier. Is he one of the cheated in Minecraft? I think he- You can cheat in Minecraft? I'm over 30. I'm going to embarrass myself by getting it the wrong guy, but someone cheated in Minecraft in a speed run

by using an extremely lucky seed. Oh, you can't use that seed. It's too lucky. Nietzsche was against this. Or he said that the powerful would use such a seed to yield only more power unto themselves, as is their right as master. I'm realizing by the minute how little I actually know

about Nietzsche and I it's fine. I saved this one for the Katie episode. I said let's get her ass on Nietzsche. Let's get her on cam not knowing Nietzsche. We used to be on the same team and now you're constantly trying to trick everyone into finding out that I don't know how to read.

I'm setting her up for clips. Clip. You're doing a bad job. Foolish woman knows not of Nietzsche. Oh man. And I'm like Stepbrother, is that Nietzsche? Oh, no.

I'm stuck in the old coal oven as it's the past. Yeah, but all we can say about that is they both got mustaches. Mustaches is for real. Hey. Does Louis have a mustache? Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah, I guess so.

He's got a good goatee. Yeah, there's a mustache, isn't it? Yeah, isn't it? It counts. It counts. We got to move on. Don't let anybody think about it anymore. Everything counts in small amounts.

Like and subscribe. Cracked, home of facts. Hit the bell. Okay, this is the Quoker. You know that one. It's got a green button. This is our incel and manosphere segment. Perfect segue.

I feel like a powerful warrior already. Yeah. So it is fun to learn about Nietzsche all of a sudden when he reminds you of your favorite Konoha ninjas. Yeah. So, yeah. This is a question for Alex. I did 10 reps of knuckle push-ups in a row.

Am I stronger than the average American, and will I do good things like karate? Will I do good in things like karate? Oh, do good in things. Because I was going to say, first we have to define what good is. I think we also need to define what is the average American strength. Sure. In terms of knuckle push-ups.

Because our strongest warrior is not our, you know, that's the top of the pyramid. They want a medium. Yeah, because they probably do so many. But if you're judging on a curve, which we are here, like how many knuckle push-ups can Louis C.K. do? Probably not very many. Sure. No.

I mean, knuckle push-ups can Nietzsche do probably a thousand in a row. Yeah, the stronger the mind, the stronger the knuckle push-up is what I've been told. Yeah, he's trained his mind to overcome the limits of his body. But yeah I mean How many knuckle pushups can we do at this table You want us to start doing pushups No that wouldn't be on cam So I'm just kind of asking

You two can do pushups But I will It would be pretty funny if we make Alex do pushups Right now I would like to observe that it's 2024 And you can do It's new year new you As you've announced several times

Rob's here we can move the camera I don't want to do a second shot for the podcast. It's not a second shot. It's one camera. Well, I'm going to have to get off the bike and do knuckle push-ups. I'm hearing a lot of excuses, and I'm starting to think that this guy who did 10 knuckle push-ups could kick your ass. He probably would. I could do at least nine.

I don't believe you. I don't believe that at all. If not 11. Pixar, it didn't happen. I could do 11 maybe. It would require zero editing. This ground looks so hard, too. I'm looking at it, and I'm thinking about, you're going to make me.

The rug is fine. There's no rug in the other room. You want me to go in the other room and do nine knuckle push-ups? Do it. Do it. Knuckle push-ups. I'm going to break my knuckles. Alex, Alex, Alex.

You'll go on the rug and do it. And then Rob will just point the camera down. This is going to be a disaster. Do you want me to do it? I think it's funny. All right. I'm going to do it. Rob, is this doable?

Yeah. I love podcasts. I'm so glad I came out. This audio medium where Alex is doing push-ups. I'm going to do at least nine. All right. Alex is down there. It said 10.

You got to go for 11 to respect America. He's taking off his necklace, and he's swinging it. Okay. He's handing it to me. That's a powerful talisman. I know. I can't believe he wears it all the time. All right.

Wait. One. Two. He's so strong. Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Two more. One more. Get 11 so you're better than this man.

11! Podcasting is once again great. Alex has brought it back. Respect is back in America's court. The strongest people of the Western world. We need your money. long hair he do care this is a big deal because alex used to have a really severe tennis injury really he's overcome people this is a hero's journey it really hurts your fingers to do them

is that they don't tell you because the ground's so hard tennis though i did at the time was he jacking off don't say that on our show people are going to think i've ever jacked off and god bless process everyone again this is an original song i came up with today the entire episode's gonna be muted it's gonna be so oh god this isn't gonna make it on this channel um oh we should read the comments i guess yeah so they probably think he's pretty strong right well i'm even stronger than he is here's one that says, if you did 10, maybe even 11, you'd be a weak little

loser. It does not say that. You'd be a wimp. Especially if you had to take off your heavy talisman. Yeah, it says the larger your talisman, the weaker you are as a human man. Then it says, liking anime is choogy. It says, unable to

defend the western world, even a little bit. If you're listening to this show, you must think that Jeremy is clearly lying here. Really makes suspect all of the quorum comments. I'm looking at it, too. It says that. And I've never lied to you my entire life.

I do trust Katie. Yeah. Stamp of quality. Katie wouldn't lie about something like that. I haven't caused you guys to get fired. No one has. Because we haven't been. Because we chose to leave.

With our heads held high as well. Oh, my little hand. You actually did fuck himself up. It's the doing it on your knuckles that hurts. Oh, it's so funny. They don't tell you. That's why it hurts. Well, if I had, like, callous tree-punching knuckles,

I guess I wouldn't be a problem. Yeah, you got to start taking it to the streets. You got to, like, get ready to Ricky-o some people. Randy Jack says, I don't know, but keep it up. Thanks, Randy. Don't worry about others. This is such a positive community, honestly. Like, the strong guy's typing meme is a real fact of life.

I'd love that one. Not to be, like, the guy who's like, I love that meme, but it's a good meme. Yeah, I love that meme. Quality structure. Great meme, sir. Katie, what's your favorite meme? I don't know her.

Wonderful. Wonderful. Wow. Next question. So good to be back here with my boys at Quarriators. Like and subscribe. Hit the bell. Where are we going to put the flag?

Where will we put the flag? I don't know. We'll figure it out. Will Rob come with us? Not for free. He's nodding. He says yes. Pay Rob is the thing.

Okay, let's do Quorumance Okay Nobody look at me Quorumance Oh So you took my notes about the Austin Powers theme I'm glad you heard that Yeah, it's copyrighted

A word? Just like how Alex didn't know Jump by Van Halen would be a problem Well, he wrote that song Yeah, that was an original song I came up with Called Rockin' Theme Anyway, this is our love segment where we read love, Cora's. Do you like our song?

It's beautiful. How do I know if I've had astral sex with someone? Oh. Now, we wanted to wait until Katie was here for this. Yeah, as an avid astral projector myself. Sure. Yeah. Here's the thing.

If you type this into Cora looking for this question, you'll find there are many people asking the same thing. There's no way to know. There's no way to know. That doesn't quite make sense, though, right? I assume you have to at least remember it. If I'm to understand this correctly, the concept of astral projection is like you're asleep,

but then you come out of your body, and your spirit self goes somewhere. So I think y'all are just creaming your bedsheets in your sleep. That's all that's happening. But don't you know you're doing it? This is like any of the posts we've read with an incubus, too. It's like a nasty sex thing that you can't even describe. What you know about astral projection is laughable,

and you are clearly a foolish hooman who knows nothing. Alex is a doggo in this answer. I'm just saying, why put in the effort? I'm not a doggo. It's not bestiality. I'm a wise individual like Nietzsche or Louis C.K. I just don't see why you put all the effort to astral project when there's so many ghosts in your house waiting to bang you at any minute.

Right, that's true. and they'll make you pregnant. That's happened. Ghost baby. If you leave the house and you need to get some strange. And who hasn't been there? I mean, it's 2024, people.

Well, I guess, okay, so they're asking how do you know? How do you know? Okay, so probably just check to see if you creamed. I don't know. I feel like you would remember it. Just like if you wake up

and you have like weird tussled hair. Sure. You got to stop using the word remember. You're not going to remember. It's outside of the brain. Have you ever had like a lucid dream? Yes, every night. You wake up in another woman's yoga pants.

If you have a lucid dream where you have sex with someone you know, call them up and be like, did you fuck me in your dream? People love this. People love this. Call the police. It's a great icebreaker, honestly. I have a good idea. You're not going to believe this.

I've met some of my best friends this way. This is my advice to all Quarrens out there. Yeah, you're on the coffee line. Just look at your barista and go, did I fuck you in my sleep last night? They love it. Yeah. This is actually how I met Louis C.K. My daughter fucked Alex in her dream.

Say hi to my fucking daughter. I am Das Ubermensch. Isn't that what he sounds like? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. But anyway. Low quality. This is end of day.

There you go. Alex, that reminds me of your character, Old German Woman. No, that's a bonus character. She doesn't go out here. This is my grandma, my old German grandma. Yeah, subscribe to our Patreon if you want to hear a lot of old German grandma. It's kind of like a fact from our lives back there. Yeah.

It's like Sebastian Menescalco style comedy back there. Absolutely. A pro. Jeff Cutler says, if you have, you should be able to explain exactly what happened. I have three times. I'm wondering if I should share what happened. See, this is what I'm saying. Jeff Cutler.

Share it, Jeff. You don't accidentally astral project. You know what you're doing. You got to prepare for it. You have to study the astral plane. I imagine people into astral projection being like woo-woo Sedona people, but Jeff Cutler seems like just like- Well, he's a Christian spiritualist.

Yeah, I own my own masonry shop And I've had astral sex three times He quit Quora With some sadness I think my time on Quora has come to an end Insidious questions are dominant And now no longer a breach of policy Actual question answers are hard to find

How is his website That existed this long It's our fault that he left I'm moving to the astral realm Did he leave before or after we started the podcast Jeremy, you must read his answer about having sex in the astral realm. He didn't answer it, though. He said he's not sure if he'll say.

Oh, that's how it ends? I thought for sure that was the beginning of a lurid tale. He says, I'm wondering if I should share what happened because this question suggests to me you did not have such an experience. And as you have asked this question anonymously, I have decided I won't give any details. Suffice to say, it was one of the most phenomenal energy exchanges and an orgasmic level I have ever experienced. Everyone's talking like Sailor Moon villains. except sexual because they're all about stealing energy i i want to know more hi what's up i wish he hadn't left the website here's someone yeah the high was up says i don't think it's sex because

it's usually not consensual the only time i consented to astral sex was when i did it with a white guy i met online what after that what are you talking about this is fucked up this is why i I know sometimes people are like, you guys shouldn't dunk on people on Quora.com. I'm like, you simply must. It has to be done, and I'm sorry to high us up for their experience being unconsensual. You have to be careful with who you have astral plane sex with,

by the way. Wear soul protection. That's why I have this talisman. You know, people mock me on my podcast. Ten more push-ups. I'm not doing more push-ups. You're lucky I did some push-ups. I think it should be a regular thing.

Yeah. I don't think that. I don't think that. We're losing the cameraman after this. I think you'll do the push-ups, and then I'll just sit here, and then Jeremy does the podcast, and that'll be the new format. That's good content. Yeah.

That's a lot of push-ups. I'll be jacked by the end. That's an hour of push-ups? Yeah, that is a lot. What am I, in jail? Somehow. You're in a prison of your mind. I want to know how this lady is having so much astral sex.

John Jermey says if you had it, you would know. Now on SoundCloud. Okay. He is now on SoundCloud. He's on the sound realm. I want to listen to his SoundCloud. He's the host of What Music Needs. Oh.

It's so embarrassing when you meet a crazy guy on Quora or some website, and they have a podcast, and it's bigger than yours. Yeah. You're just like, all right. I hate the many times this has happened to us. It has, though, right? That guy on TikTok did, but we didn't find him on Quora. No, you're right.

There's a few people who we made fun of, and then we found out they're very popular. Oh, they're big money ghettos. Yeah. And we're actually broke bitches. Yeah. That's hard for us. They're still on crack.

I got to do more push-ups until I'm rich. This guy looks so goofy. Yeah. What's his name? John Jeremy. That's a great name. Alan Soundcloud. Alan Soundcloud.

Alan Soundcloud. I've got a great question for us. Thank you. Let me click it. Let me click it. Get a spree. My husband didn't like the dish I cooked, and he threw the plate against the wall.

He then made me clean it up and kept insulting me. Is this normal behavior? Uh-huh. No. Certainly not. It's certainly not. Now I need to get the husband's side of the story. Wait, wait, wait.

She did make a shit dinner, so. Right. And they're British. This is an I-O-U-R, behavior. Oh, behavior. Behavior. Behavior. Is this acceptable behavior?

I didn't like how I made the kippus. Yeah, well, that's a good question. It's a British dish. It probably was pretty nasty just by default. I've been working at the meat pie factory from sunup to sundown, and I come home to some fresh meat pies at my own home.

This is Alex's character, Orc Husband. What if you were married to an orc? I thought you said meat was on the menu again. British orcs love when meat is on the menu because then they can turn it into a pie. Yes. Folks. But yeah, I'm going to assume she's at fault

until I hear some more details. Because otherwise, where is this coming from? We're two husbands. We're two husbands. Oh, yeah. I forgot this is a pro-husband podcast. Husbands can do no wrong. Wear the ring.

Pick up the blade. Wear the ring. Wear the ring. There's a sword somewhere. Oh, the sword's over here. I'm keeping it away from Jeremy. I mean, we got a lot of negative feedback on the sword last time. That's not true.

A lot of negative feedback. No one said, only from Alex, who got hit by the sword. We don't like that. Anyway, yeah, you had it coming. You had it too good for too long. Mostly I'm just thinking about how I'm hungry, and I'm like, what a waste of dinner. You threw my fish and chips.

That's true. I'm very against throwing food in any situation. That's true. If you hang out with comedians all the time, eventually they're going to throw some food, and it's like, you should eat. What if he's a really big fan of rom-coms, and he thought they were having a playful, sexy food fight?

Right, yeah. He was holding a lobster. The lobster was running away. That's from Amy Hall. We've got to cook it. That's what lovers say. Yeah. Well, nothing more to say about this one.

Nope. All the comments are just people telling stories. Yeah, this seems like a life dump type of post. This is our final question, unless we want to dig up some more. What time are we at? 54. Oh, okay. We'll see.

Do you agree with wife sharing? I do. Share your wife with me. Thank you for listening to the podcast. This has been Quarriators. You can find Katie on the internet. I'm here to take all your wives. Stay away from my wife.

I've been working the long game. I keep being like, I'll watch your show, Alyssa. She is my jewel. See, this is why you've taken the wife's side in that quora, because you're like, I want three. Destroy all husbands. Excuse me, my name is Mrs. Steal Your Girl. Or Dr. Steal Your Girl, if we must.

Katie is fucking Mrs. Atheism on the side. Dr. Steal Your Girl. I didn't go to Steal Your Girl school for eight years. I didn't go to Steal Your Girl University for nothing. Steel Girl University beat the other team at sports beat them

yeah they're so much better than the school of hard knocks yeah I'm sorry I'm thinking about how much I share

with my wife that's rubbed off on me and I can't formulate a single thought what is rubbed off the delirium oh yeah

well it's the third podcast of the day for all sorts of people Jeremy are you sharing your wife or not. No, thank you. No, thank you. That's all for Jeremy. Stay away. I thought the whole point of monogamy is that

you don't have to share. Yeah, it's monogamy, not monoga-us. Yeah, that's right. Like and subscribe. Hit the bell. That's been season two. Share your wife. Kyle Kinane is coming back every week on the Quarator's channel.

He'll be in Alex's apartment. That's right. He'll come down. He'll be at Voice of Comedy Central live at my house. The cat will be there. Won't that be fun? I'll probably be back when someone cancels. Yeah, Katie will be there. Hey, no one canceled on us today.

That's true. Wow. We booked you in advance. Hot commodity. Katie, would you like to plug any of your wonderful podcasts on the way out here? I have a very messy, poorly SEO'd show called Leon Leong's Professional Wrestling Podcast, which you can find somewhere. I have no social media.

Good luck finding me. Should we not read any comments on this wife-sharing question? No, read them, please. I don't know. David Jones says, I have no interest to be shared myself. We also did not ask a Quora. We're going to ask one. Okay, okay.

Read the question first. Oh, my God. Are you two getting divorced? Jeremy's trying to steal my wife. I'm so stressed out. Read the wife answers. Should me and Rob let you be alone? I know if they're after my wife.

I have no interest to be sharing myself, but the thought of my wife sharing sex with many men turns me on big time. That's called hot wifing. That's called hot wifing. It sure is. Look it up. All these answers are just like,

yes, please, please take my wife. Take my wife, please. Yeah, this is a typed with one hand type of post. The horniest take my wife joke ever. This is very common in the 50s. Take my wife. Let me watch you take her. Take my wife, please.

Ravage her. And that's Horny Henny, that character. Horny Henny, that's cool. Okay, well, now we can write the Quora. Which one should we write? I don't know. What's the question? It's a New Year's.

We'll all, how do the words go? We'll all something be forgot. Why isn't it new laying sign? Let's do it. Wait, what? I think that's just Latin. Yeah. Yeah, but type it in.

See what it says. No, say, why isn't it new? Lang sign. This is going to be our, is it like that? Yeah. This is going to be our first question back in season three. This is a good one. All right.

People are going to love this question. They're going to love answering it. We've been the Quarators. If you've missed all of the plugs we've done relentlessly the entire show, go to our YouTube channel at Quarators and join there to see our new episodes every week. We have Patreon episodes every Thursday where we

go on other websites. My Kickstarter's over because it's 2024. Was it funded? We don't know. I hope so. I paid. This is two weeks early. Thanks! Or I'm very disappointed.

He won't do it if it doesn't fund. That's right. But we'll see you over at Season 3. Season 3, Quarriators. Goodbye. Bye.