Quorators - Doing The Nasty

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Why have panties become so popular for men to wear? What should I do if my girlfriend is mad at me for cheating on her in a dream? Can my girlfriend secretly be a demon in genes? --- Come to our live show on December 14th at The Gutter in Brooklyn https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quorators-live-tickets-1077648448519 Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

And this is Quarators. Quarators. You're listening to Quarators, another week. We're looking at gray skies as it is November, guys. It's your host, Alex and Jeremy. All right. Hello, everyone. Hello.

Cool rhyming, Alex. I've started rhyming more by popular demand. People like it. Yeah, people have been asking for more Alex rapping, specifically. All my life, this has been the case, and I've always refused them. But will this be the break in the trend? You'll have to stay tuned to find out. This show is, of course, brought to you by our sponsors, Staples, the store Staples.

go to Staples for all of the latest actually though we do have a live show that we're doing you should go to that instead of Staples well maybe after you leave Staples with all of your back to school necessaries you'll need to lighten your evening

with a funny ha ha if you live in Brooklyn and you're free that day and you don't go to the show Alex probably will cry I sure I mean you won't have any way of knowing except for the recording that comes out on Monday If I'm crying the Monday after

It didn't go well Still sniffling So this show is sponsored by our show Yeah, that's right More than Staples, I think Way more than Staples I haven't been to a Staples in years Staples sucks

I don't want to say that about our fake sponsor They changed the logo so that it's not a staple anymore Was it a staple before? Yeah I'm just remembering the letters it originally had like a folded staple as the L and now they just put a staple

next to the word I like it it's not that noticeable Jeremy full screen the chrome here first of all we are now screen recording the show if you would like to see everything we see please go to youtube.com slash and slam that bell and ring that bell

and buy energy drinks you can see Alex's bookmarks You can see all of the cool things that I have. Easy manga. Best anime movie. ESPN. You go to ESPN a lot? Yahoo.

Yeah, I love sports, and I love the great game. Okay. But there's one thing I like more than sports, and that's, of course, sexual intercourse, which is the theme of this week's episode, Doing the Nasty. Uh-huh, honey. I'm still looking at the staples.

This is blowing my mind. Do you guys ever like to freak it? uh i mean we could talk about the staple more i don't have a ton more to say i like it no it's it's interesting it's like they've gone from i guess a limp to yeah or erect staple i think say it they've gone woke they've gone woke they've removed the staple i think it's like the l it's like special education uh uh kind of like messaging here of like people didn't get that the l was a staple before and they were like everyone's too stupid just put the staple next to the word staples in ariel but now that i get it i like it it's great it's a nice little bit staple well

it's gone it's a nice thick font had all capital letters none of this bullshit like uppercase s thing going on like uppercase s is not bullshit guys we're seeing a lot of stuff on this table i do not approve of fuck you staples doesn't it look like this is like a word that if you read it too many times you're like is this a word yeah i agree with you stapless it almost looks like you can spell it backwards and forwards but you can't no you can't self but i used to have a that was easy button as a kid oh yeah my whole life was easy back then things were so much easier i slammed that child oh my god as from the ages of 1 to 17 that button isn't necessary anyway this week's leave is sex it's doing the nasty i already announced this i was going back to it all right

this week and we're going to the space of the week here we have a fair story space space of the week Objection's good. I should hit that more. Yeah, that is good. So this is a fair stories space. We dabbled in this the other day. We remember Naughty Panda.

Steamy content to freshen up your mood. Okay, so I was going to say Naughty Panda I've seen before. Right. Where have you seen Naughty Panda? We stumbled into this page by clicking around on Naughty Panda's page a few weeks ago. Gotcha. Okay. And Naughty Panda is...

It's pretty steamy stories. Yes, yes. This is Naughty Panda's, the Playboy editor. Right. Oh, she's got like a medium page. Right. Grandma's a little helper. What is going on?

It looks like somebody's about to fuck grandma on that one. That's kind of interesting. Not often what's going on with grandma. No, people are usually not trying to fuck grandma. But in this story by Naughty Panda, which came out on November 6th, there is a guy. Kind of a young looking grandma. Who's sort of going to hit grandma with a belt on a train. I do not like that Alex is the man in this story.

And does she have, like, sort of, like, an army? A dump truck? Yeah, that, too. Oh, no. We've lost the TV. The TV was like, get the fuck out of here. You've changed, Quarators. This used to be a show I could listen to with my family.

That's the voice of my television. Jeremy, why won't you watch me? All right, we're back on the TV. I love the latest programs. i had to change the sound as well so got some good video games coming up um so this is like a sort of sexual story about grandma the train chugged along a metal serpent slithering through the countryside oh besides that my best friend inherently fouling alex patak his eyes fixed on a stunning woman across the aisle anya with their ethereal beauty and

enigmatic smile it doesn't say alex but dad she was traveling with her grandmother a frail old woman who seemed determined to chaperone on you every waking wait a second we're just reading this woman's porn now well we're on medium what's what's up claire well it's just you know i thought this was gonna be about grandma maybe maybe it's gonna chance something's gonna i don't think grandma's involved in the sex unfortunately that's what i was saying for the cartoon is this is a young woman to be getting plowed like that or maybe grandma also gets a good so i think the grandma goes to sleep um and she's a woman old woman stirred her eyes fluttering open what's with all this all this

whispering about alex the ever ever the opportunist quickly intervened oh it's nothing grandma just some boy talk so grandma said don't keep me up all night well i don't know i don't know are we reading it or not no we're reading it or not please no it doesn't even look seem very well eventually someone dies so i don't know what's going on but good for good for naughty panda here's what i like about this one it's a three minute read which is concise you get in and out on that and so be sure to check out naughty pandas medium um and was this election day or when was the election no that was this fifth right so that was right the day after the election Trump won, and she was like...

Oh, she lives in London. This kind of reminds me of my trip to grandma's house. But, of course, the space is a fair story space. Sorry, yeah, I apologize for going off world. Whoa. Here's a picture of a butt. That's what we said last time. We said this is just butts, but it's so much more than that.

It's a space for affair stories. The description says, steamy content to freshen up your mood and a guide to help you jerk and sleep. Pretty good. Oh, so this is for helping people jack off? And so they can go to sleep. So it's kind of a sleep facilitator.

This is like one of those sleepy podcasts people listen to. Yeah. But it's for jacking off to affair stories. Right, if it was like Ira Glass being like, and then I pulled down my pants and I did whatever I wanted down there. And then people are just like slowly closing their eyes. That's your Ira Glass impression? I don't know what he sounds like.

Ira Glass here. He's more like this. Oh, okay. I don't know, and I'd love to hear more, and I'd love for him to tell me how to jack off with it. That'd be pretty great. A J-O-I. Jerk off instructions.

Ira Glass J-O-I. That's maybe, I guess, what I'm requesting. You know what? This is the actual one ethical use of AI. Great. Ira Glass J-O-I videos. I don't care how many pelicans go in a blender for this one. Just, like, very casual jazz music as Ira Glass is like,

Hey, Alex, how's it going? with 500 gallons of water wasted poured into the street unzip your pants anyway yeah that's weird that that's what this is for

I figured it was for because I've been on a lot of the adultery subreddits trying to find stuff for this podcast and it's mostly people like discussing

like what techniques how sad it is that they've been cheating or whatever that they've been cheating

yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of people just being like it's so well i'm so naughty i've been so bad oh yeah people like cheating i'm so sick of getting coal under my tree every that's what it is yeah santa's not gonna be happy about this because i fucked my neighbor and they all these terms it's like ap and wp and all these different letter things what did those ap is alternate partner okay i forget what wp is wet partner yeah that's what it is like a like a water park maybe it's water park one of them is i think like partner

and water i think bp and wp is like betrayed partner versus like something else like i'm the bp yes exactly yeah yeah i did dp with my ap and now my bp is all pissed off that was pretty good well you should be the rapper yeah is that what they're saying that jeremy no they're actually this insisting that now i feel like the bp betrayed podcaster rap dreams dashed um okay so should we look at any of these uh naughty panda posts yeah they're not really about affairs though can we say what can we read some of these posts please yes okay

have you ever been so mad at your husband but didn't want to hurt their feelings by telling them. I haven't. No. Well, why is this the picture? I don't know. And then it's a naughty maid. Sort of like a naughty Audrey Hepburn. Some sort of Snow White figure. It's like if a

court decided Audrey Hepburn owed money to a family and she had to be their maid. Now, do we think this is AI? I was about to say this looks AI. Because she is missing an arm. It looks like a full-ass fake shirt. And her shirt looks insane. One of her boobs is the size of her head

And the other one is the size of, I would say, an orange. Maybe this is just a dying woman. She's just sort of melting away. Yeah, she's actually a leper. So not so funny anymore. That's so weird. Honey, have you ever... What is the caption of this?

Honey, have you ever considered life insurance? It's not for him, sweetie, for yourself. The stress of a nagging spouse can take years off your life, you know. Just a thought. Ooh, catty. Ooh, la la. Ow. caddy what do abusers do when you won't let them disrespect you is another question this one seems

like a real woman sweet melon i think this seems more real it says ha you think they'll throw a tantrum like a toddler denied cookies abusers are more creative in their meltdowns expect the silent treatment so dramatic even ghosts get jealous or a guilt trip so heavy it needs its own zip code even ghosts get jealous because ghosts are so silent but they're not more silent silent treatment? They're really pissed off about this. If it's like really quiet and Ghost gets jealous. This is the mind of a Playboy

editor. You know how people are like I just read the articles in Playboy haha just kidding I would never. These are the people writing those articles. That's got to be insulting if you're the person writing them. Oh it's a joke to you that I've written all of my life's work is in these magazines. But now they have a

fair story space so they can get together these are like their open mics. yeah they get to like workshop the betrayals and they get to post sweet tatas i don't know so this is these are who naughty panda is posting these naughty pandas the editor yeah i don't know this question is why doesn't my husband ever say i love you back he just sits there like he's thinking on his computer but then it's the question it's a question like that and then a picture of a hot woman maybe these are questions that are being asked to not even i really you know what i think I think these are questions that Naughty Panda is curating and bringing to Affair Stories.

Because this is written by a woman named Diana. Oh, Diana. And then Naughty Panda took the question, added this photo of a random woman looking back at her camera, and then said, honey, have you considered he might be composing a sonnet about your dazzling personality? Between crafting metaphors for your laugh and limericks about your lasagna, Responding, I love you, might take a back seat. Unless, of course, you programmed him to prioritize chores over compliments. So she's always taking the side of the husband?

She's becoming the character. I don't know if I said the question on that one. The great bard. Why doesn't my husband ever say I love you back? He just sits there like he's thinking on his computer. You did say it, and I would like to explore. Okay. This is from Diana in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

I know. Diana looks like she has just finished crying and then took a picture. One of them. And her mascara is leaking down her face. she doesn't look well her husband does not love her i will say she is not her picture is not her smiling into the camera she shows off her butt it is her crying right that's one difference there now this robot hubby has got another thing coming if he's losing a fine woman like diana um he's either distracted and has add and so he doesn't know where what you're talking about

because he's off in the world of warcraft in his brain or he's a cold robot husband she also asked why does my husband love why does my husband always glance at women i noticed it when we were in a waiting room of the hospital of all places he's looking out the window at someone i feel disrespected girl girl have you ever considered maybe there was a ghost out there who was looking jealous that the ghost wishes they were back in the hospital dying on the bed? I must be in a silent room because I'm feeling jealous

and I'm a ghost. Why am I getting an inappropriate feed on my YouTube homepage? Is it because I was logged into my Gmail on hubby's computer? Now, you can't blame

everything on your husband. She's obsessed with her husband's computer. She's obsessed with her husband being the bad guy. Yeah. Now, I know you got married

because you're so obsessed with him, but just ask yourself if he's like an evil villain. Uh-oh, here we go. Why do you... What do you do if you're married

and your spouse is looking at men in underwear online. It keeps popping up on my YouTube feed. A lot of weird stuff. What to do? Thanks. Okay. Is he shopping for underwear?

Oh, he might be shopping for underwear. He might be doing that. That'll do it. I really enjoy the world where, like, this is a very normal guy and just, like, a paranoid woman who's stuck in a world of betrayal. Every once in a while,

I'll get an algorithm of a, like, 30-year-old gay man. And I get the underwear ads where it's like, oh, that's nice underwear, but it's also mostly just to see, like, these big dicks in these underwear. Oh, are you selling dicks? Male underwear. So I don't know.

Maybe, you know. Yeah. Maybe I'll order a dick to my house from Amazon Dick Com. It's like the Wayfair conspiracy theory that people had. Remember this? I remember the Wayfair guy. Wayfair is, like, a company that sells, like, all sorts of, like, furniture and stuff. And they had, for a time, cabinets that you can buy that were, like, very expensive.

and they all had names so it was like this is the jonathan cabinet and people thought that it was because they were so expensive and named like that because they were selling children in the cabinet yes and that there was like you can buy jonathan and do whatever you want with them and this is a three thousand dollar cabinet what a discount anon yeah yeah it was like the pizza yeah pizza gate style yeah yeah but it was furniture gate i remember thinking like yeah maybe it's a little expensive for a cabinet, but that seems pretty cheap for a child. It is. To buy in the fucking mail. Like three grand.

Is that like the risks you take kidnapping and stealing a child and human trafficking? Like you gotta get some you need to get wet on, you got wet your beak on the back end there. Yeah, they're selling them like they're gonna ship them to me? Right. Like in a box? I'm not putting all these children in a large sack and cavorting

all over town with it to make like a small profit like I work at McDonald's here. Thank you. You're welcome. um the price is about the shipping yeah uh so this has been a fair story i hope you liked it diana's got a whole band has got stuff she's got to figure out yeah she's not doing well um she says why is life so cruel i never met anyone of my teens and 20s and subsequently married my husband when i was a virgin now being married i long for a relationship for a relationship a real one with love and bonding no time damn diana fuck please leave

your husband get out of there girl stop letting him buy fucking underwear by the way oh no she has five children oh that's not good okay parentheses please no harassment this is getting sadder diana sorry we're uh reading about you on a podcast let's make sure we don't show her face that's uh it's simply too late for that i was gonna say it's very funny to have in your question parentheses please no harassment but you know what we didn't listen to that this isn't harassment this is just observing your life through the questions you asked very publicly please nobody bother diana or if you are marry her marry her and be a better husband to her and love her as well say i love you please just once won't you be her loving husband well i hope that helped you jack

off and go to sleep that has been a fair story good night sweetie go to fucking quora md all right let's get on the next one it's quora md won't you read a story with me at the hospital wow that's beautiful uh i'm a 15 year old female who sets fires for joy parentheses not sexual i I don't want to hurt anyone, but on numerous occasions, I've almost burnt my house down. Am I a pyromaniac? In this one, doing the nasty is, in fact, burning a house down. Almost. Isn't that interesting?

Well, this actually specifically is not sexual. She does clarify that in the front, and we have to respect that, but I do want to answer the questions since we're already here. Maybe a bad one to start with, but that's my favorite. How do you guys feel about fire? Pro or con for fire? I'm big on fire, yeah, honestly. I am really. Better than ice.

Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah, big time, big time. The burn is the taste I crave. I feel like most young kids do like to light stuff on fire. That's normal. But I feel like at 15, you're getting a little too old for it. A little too old for fire. For lighting stuff on fire.

Right. It's pretty fun. That's when you should be going to the mall. That's when you end up in Arkham Asylum. Yeah. You're still setting fires then. But unfortunately, she sets them for joy, not sexual. that does make me think it is sexual though because i never considered that people have

a fire fetish is that what pyromania is that where it stems from it was just like i thought it was just kind of crazy yeah or you're just like yeah the flame helps you bust does the flame help you bust look that up janie um a person with an obsessive desire to set fire to things as a pyromaniac. I think it's just impulse control disorder in which individuals repeatedly fail

to resist urges to deliberately start fires. Non-sexual. To relieve some tension or instant gratification. Yeah, I used to do that with shoplifting. Okay, there you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you were kind of a pyromaniac of stealing then. Of stuff. Yeah, that's so interesting. Out of that wire. I think by the

Wikipedia definition you are a pyromaniac but I would love to see the Quora answers and hear if I'm wrong. Yeah, I would like to see people be cunty to you about your favorite thing.

I think if you're doing it for joy, parenthesis, not sexual, and you can stop, then you're not addicted. You're fine. But also, just do it outside. Yeah, you gotta do it outside. I think she's a pyromaniac, and we gotta put her down, by any means necessary. The top comment says you should talk to

a doctor. I believe you are at the very least borderline. This is a question best answered by a professional. Fuck you, dude. This is Quora. This is Quora. Answer the question. Well, keep going, because he might... Okay. If you almost burn down your own house, you have a serious problem.

I love fire. I've been in love with starting fires. It does about six, seven, but... Oh, no! For me, it was never a need to destroy, just a love of the flame. I got a love of the flame. Love of the flame. A fascination, if you will.

Fire, for me, is alive, like a life, but... Thank God I've never felt the urge that makes one a destructive pyromaniac. I am a person that can start a fire in the rain, but I always have a way to kill fire. I understand that people label me as a pyro, but I'm not. You? Admitting you have on numerous occasions nearly your own house down? Okay, he's being like, I mean, I do the same thing, but I'm not like you. A flame created must always be destroyed, ha ha.

I don't have a problem. You have a problem, child. It tells me that you have at least burned one house down or a building. Please get help. Obsession can be positive or negative. Become a fire inspector, a person who brings to justice those whose obsession is murderous. Turn your obsession positive. Good luck.

Okay, go ahead and slam that up vote button. Yeah, big up vote for Ron Winters. That's a top Quora answer. I actually love his answer. I love that he says you should be Dexter for fire. That's awesome. He's mostly talking about the Democrats. I'm kind of bored with that.

I was kind of hoping this. I went on his profile, and I wanted to see if he talked a lot about fires. But unfortunately, he has not. He has a question about whether Adderall is the same as cocaine. Yeah. Seven years ago. And then some shit about ISIS. Just wondering, is Adderall cocaine?

Democrats KGB. Yeah, he hates the Democrats. Get in line, pal. Wait, go down? What is this? And then this one is just a bunch of random letters. I think that's Russian. I don't think that is Russian, Alex.

It says there U-G-O-9-er-6-R-H. I think that's Russian. I'll close this. Okay, what's another answer here? I would love watching newspaper on fire when I was a teenager. I'd burn them in the kitchen sink. Also, I loved watching matchsticks burn. I would burn them down to the tips of my fingers.

I grew up fine. I had a healthy respect for fire, and I didn't do it to cause any harm. Fire is just beautiful. Yeah, it really is. You should pick up a fire inspector and bring justice to those who abuse it. Who use it for murderous intent. Okay. I like how many pyros are on here, and it's somewhat pyro season.

Yeah, definitely. Firestopper. It is pyro season. I mean, they burn down Prospect Park. They burn down Prospect Park. Brian R. Sanderson says, girl, you need a hobby. Woo! Trigger warning.

For what? When you say trigger warning, you have to say what the trigger warning is. Trigger warning hobbies. I agree with others who have written here. Tell your folks about your little tension release therapy and see if you can't channel that into something useful. Say, like this, metal smelting and casting. Just a suggestion, of course. Personally, I get my tension release from blowing stuff up under controlled conditions.

By the way, trigger warning for smelting. And then there's a picture of a rocket. We have liftoff. Oh, cool. So he's actually been making a bunch of rockets. I did that with my dad when I was little. Yeah, I used to make a lot of rockets as a kid. It's a real dad activity.

Trigger warning. I built some rockets as a child. Trigger warning. I'm a dork. There's a YouTube video for how to melt soda cans. Yeah. All right. Well, trigger warning, I guess.

Trigger warning for soda cans. I like how all these people are trying to like, here's an alternative way for you to use your weird thing that you like. It's so weird. They're treating her like she's an X-Men or something. They're treating her like an X-Men. It's not sexual. you pervs. Use your power

for good. But of course this is the sexual week of Quarriors doing the nasty. Someone says maybe it would be good to get an outdoor grill. That's not what I want. Use your powers for good by cooking steak. Anyway

a lot of people say barbecue. Let's go on to forbidden knowledge. Let's check that out. You know the question and now we're doing the nasty that is forbidden why have panties become so popular for men to wear i didn't say it um well we could all agree that they are so popular i feel like they've always been popular for men for men to wear since women had panties sure what makes them panties you think

it's not joe biden's america underwear they're just so what is the difference between like a tidy whitey in a panty a tidy whitey is more is like a boy is boy yeah i think that's right it's really just it's if it's just underwear if it's meant for girls underwear i have a little bow on it if i hear panty i hear i hear bow i hear like it's made of like silk or something or like or a ribbon no it's just girl yeah it's just for i think that's right girls yeah for women by women worn by men. So there's going to be a lot of interesting

Yeah, there's going to be mostly photos, I think. How many do we want to look at? I don't know. The top one is from Andy. Let's see what Andy says. Andy, who lives in New Zealand

from 1978 to present, says, I don't wear panties all the time, but they are nice from time to time to wear. I have a collection of panties as well

as men's thongs briefs. Thongs are my favorite. I think these ones are cute. And then a picture that is blurred out. Let's see it. We can see what it is. Oh, well, you know

it's his little dick. Oh, you can see his penis peeking out. Wait, I want to see more. There it is. Oh, look at his butt. This is very frilly. So this is frilly girl panties

with the frilly butt. This looks like a goddamn tablecloth. This obviously will not be on the YouTube. No, I mean, this is the downside of screen capture

is when we look at like a bunch of men's assholes close up, you cannot see it because they'll get demonetized. It's so hairy. You just got to know it's happening.

Do you think he does the haka in his hold on let's click on his freaking profile and see what he's up to so no surprise

here every single one of his posts is about wearing let's see what he knows about men in g-strings thong underwear men's thong underwear

lingerie g-string New Zealand I thought New Zealand was the New England Patriots logo wait a minute this is James Cameron no it's not

dear listener it's Andy it's Andy and he's at the g-string store if you need anything There's his asshole TJ says

Whether they become more popular or not More popular or that more men acknowledge they wear them Is up for debate Changing social attitudes have possibly had a major effect on the subject as well As for me It's because my wife asked me to put one on And model it for her early in our relationship My bitch wife made me wear her panties

She decided I look sexy in a high cut lacy panty So she started insisting I wear a panty around her And it became my daily routine I absolutely agree they are more comfortable Coming in so many styles, colors, materials and cuts And for me they're so much better than men's underwear I'm a 365 panty man now

There's no way they're more comfortable than boys underwear Panty man, line up Sign off on the chat right here How many of you are panty man? 365 panty man 365 Waking up on Christmas in my panties February 29th

The one day every four years I wear boxers way to throw your wife like totally i know you just like doing it i know maybe she brought it up but you should be like and i thank her and i she's so supportive like brian williams says brian says you are so lucky your wife is so supportive great work oh that's nice i really like these interactions yeah these guys are really nice to each other they're so sweet the guys who wear panties all right i i can't show any anyway i really love just all the comments that are like on any of these quarters we're like

what I don't know what you're talking about that's not more popular anyway for me personally I wear it because I get off yeah

this is someone's full name yeah picture of them my own words I'd like to say it's because of the comfortable

and soft fabrics that they are made of these are the reviews are in here the panties I'm wearing now enjoy

alright you can click there it is he's got a tattoo we were warned this is like a bedazzled one like I don't think of this as women's

underwear it's like a professional wrestler's garb or something yeah that's kind of what they are yeah yeah uh okay again a lot of support in the chat uh rishi kakar the goddess of lust the thing is like men love it the reason it feels like a some sort of like sexual thing is that the question is why do people wear panties and all of the answers are like want to see my ass yeah yeah want to see my little people peeking out i i think rishi kakar is right though is just they're just better pants and we should all be wearing them

sure yeah all right in the future everyone is lacy all right well moving on from that i think we've gotten to the bottom of this answer and i feel that way what's next in forbidden okay what should i do if my girlfriend is mad at me for cheating on her in a dream that's so funny this has happened to me five thousand has it really yeah well you had you say out loud hey i had a dream that i had sex with patrick star from spongebob yeah and she goes you want to Fuck Patrick Starr? Is that what it is? I thought it was in her dream.

No, no, no. You're getting it backwards. She fucks Patrick. No, wait. She has the dream. She has a dream where she comes home, and then she opens up our rock, and it's me and Patrick Starr, and I go, babe, wait, and then she wakes up, and she's like, so what are you doing with Patrick later?

I'm like, what are you talking about? And she's like, I saw you, and then I have to talk her down over the course of 36 hours, and she's very mad about it. She's a fucking, the snail told me. Yeah, the damn snail. Gary the snail. Did she have like, could she tell the future in other ways in her life? And this is often the debate is it is not augury or any kind of oracular gift.

It is in fact a damn dream. And I've never seen that starfish in my life. That would make more sense if she was mad at you. But also she did know like every tragedy that was to happen in the next 10 years or something. Yeah, if she had drank Shai Khaloud's milk. Yeah. And thus had been given the gift of all of the reverend mothers, it would be one thing.

But instead, it's just some crazy bitch making up a dream. Yeah. Being your wife. And this is my wife I love. Mother to my daughter. But anyway, yeah, what should you do is apologize, even though you didn't do anything, and then eventually she will feel better.

Is that what you do? Yeah. It's always funny to me. I'm like, hey, I'm sorry I did that, but I can't help myself. In her dreams. I couldn't help myself I gotta get a note In her dreams is it usually

Like Claire was saying a fictional person Or is it someone you know in real life It could be whatever I mean it's all kinds of things I remember when we first started dating She had a dream that I got a like full Body tattoo of railroad tracks Down my arms and was like You didn't even ask me

About that and it was like I didn't do that Claire's gonna spit up water i don't see what's so wrong about having a train track well i've had dreams that have come true before really like what way i'm honest tsunamis celebrities dying whoa but then sometimes i have dreams where i like i'm like rooting around my room and i find like thousands of dollars in cash i'm like oh yeah wow i forgot i put all this money here this is great and then i wake up and i'm like oh maybe that's real yeah i should go to where the money was that's not the timeline just bad

stuff go either unless you don't like that celebrity the potential branches but you did predict a tsunami that took the lives of hundreds you're saying i had a dream where i was watching tv and on tv was like the news and there was a big wave uh that crashed into a pool or like crashed into a hotel and like went into a hotel pool and not in the pool like a couple days later i was watching the news and i saw the same wow it was like that big indonesian right right yeah where a lot of people died in that one i saw a youtube video of this band setting up uh to play gig in that hotel and then you see the moment the wave hits them and they die and it's very shocking but it is very much just like this is my ass for real dying in some stupid gig

a fucking meteor hits the building you're setting up like they gave me two drink tickets that's not enough you're doing a variety show in a hotel lounge are killed by god yeah exactly um if a flood got into like if the ocean got into a pool that would ruin the filtration system of the pool yeah that would but then i've also had dreams where i had i was eating like soup at a restaurant with todd berry yeah and then a couple years later i was doing sure that that's a funny thing to dream about becoming mildly successful as a comedian and then you pulled it off sometimes i'm like maybe these are just i'm just having dreams about the things that would happen in life that we aren't so out of control.

This blows me away, and if anything else, it is doing the nasty. Oh, baby! That's true. That's cool. Most of my dreams are about people trying to murder me for some reason, and that hasn't happened yet. Unpack that.

Unpack that? I think it means I'm going through changes. You're stressed out? Maybe. I don't know. I must be, probably. Has anybody ever tried to murder you? Not that I know of.

If they are, they're not doing a good job. Because I'm still here. Well, maybe once it happens, you'll stop dreaming about it. Yeah, there you go, because I'll be dead. Well, you are a public figure. Right. And you talk a lot of shit.

I do, yeah. Somebody's looking at this podcast right now, stroking their monitor. Who are my enemies? Oh, most of the people on Quora. I'm looking to wear your skin. I would like to read this answer about the girlfriend cheating thing.

Okay. This is from... Say it, Alex. It's a Japanese name. His name's Dakumo. Alex really just wanted to read Japanese. Sorry, it's easy for me. Read it, Alex.

It might be best to leave her if she is seriously upset at you for cheating on her in her dream. If she is willing to put strain and tension within your relationship over something as small and irrational as that, then she will most likely will not be suitable for a long-term relationship. She will likely need some therapy to figure out why she is having these feelings in the first place, and she must deal with them on her own. So leave her ass. Documo says get a new girlfriend.

She's washed. This one's done. Time for a new patch. New girlfriend. Why don't you dream yourself a new boyfriend then? Yeah, you can dream of my keys on the dress. Some people, this guy says the opposite. He says, all these people saying leave her have no clue how to properly communicate with their partner.

What do you mean? Obviously, dreams can sometimes make you feel real emotions and should not be dismissed. But I'm saying it's just a dream. The dream may have been unrealistic, but the way she felt in that dream is very much real. Oh, damn. Have a serious talk with her. Ask her if she really thinks you're cheating on her. If she says yes, ask her why.

If she says no, then confirm to her that you would not do so. I don't know, man. Dreams are fake. Explain to her it was a dream for a while. Yeah, I think that's fine. Everyone's saying dump her is so funny to me. I really like this. Dump her ass.

She's insane, and you should lock her up in an asylum. Richard says, honestly, find a new girlfriend. Boom. Boom. That's from Richard, y'all. You should cheat on her and make the dream real. Yeah, y'all. Make her dream come true.

I don't want to see the question asker. Unfortunately, it's a nightmare to do that. There are simply too many people talking about this question to find. Oh, you know what? Now you can show people how annoying it is to find the question and then find out the answer. Anonymous. Anonymous.

Cool. I'll be sure to do that. Okay, let's do our next question. Okay. We're in core romance now. Finally, we're getting to the meat on the bone. Yum, yum. Sorry, they're both pink.

These are questions for anyone who's ever been in love. It is Quorumance. Can my girlfriend secretly be a demon in jeans? Girl, you're a demon in jeans. Now, this is G-E-N-E-S. I know it is, but I kind of want to talk about the other one. You ever notice how thick demons look in jeans? I'm looking at many of these.

My high-waisted demon. Have I asked you guys this? Do you care about high-waisted jeans? It's probably my top issue. Are you guys neutral on the height of the woman's jeans? I guess so, yeah. I don't feel like I have strong opinions on it. I can't remember what women look like.

Alex has face blindness. Yeah, that's true. What about jeans blindness? I'm also blind to jeans because the waist is the face of the jeans. Right. Do you have strong opinions on? No, I just feel like it's such a big deal for women when they're going to buy pants. It's like, do I want high waist?

Do I want really? Do I want low waist? Low riders. Low riders. I know it's coming back. The low jeans are making a return. But then it's like, I guess for straight guys, it's like, do they even care? I think this is mostly a vehicle for women to judge other women often.

Oh, 100%. That makes sense. Because men are dogs and animals, and they don't care as long as they're kept in the pound. I feel like we're the worst sample size to ask because we married. I haven't had to attract someone since I was 16 years old, so I don't even really know what that means. Yeah.

Right. Well, you guys are good husbands, I guess. You've seen genes. No but I'm saying Like the idea that I don't feel like I ever am like Thinking too too hard

About it People are like Oh like You're going bald I'm like What do I care What do I need to Convince someone

To love me It's over It is a That's a beautiful way Of putting it So that's why You're not looking at jeans I'm just not thinking

That much about it Jeremy's thinking About his damn grave Too much To consider what Pants to wear I'm thinking about Business

Thinking about bald Thinking about the flowers they're gonna put in his plot boy now to discuss a demon in jeans g-e-n-e-s which is the actual question um she would have to be an inuyasha hybrid kind of that way of uh just a um i'm demon on my mom's side right a demon on your mama's side um and i guess i would need to see a picture of what that looks like and how tall her jeans are as well with g-e-a-n-s yeah i got my 23andMe and it said I was 14% demon.

I got my 23andMe and it said me and you in jeans. Dude, he's so good at rapping. I'm going to start rapping way more. This is the confidence I needed to get my career off the ground. It's like three people who are like, Alex should rap more. My first song,

Demon in Jeans. Oh, no. Alright, let's read the comments. I'm going to do a lot of Drake-style rap singing as well. Alex, can you please stop texting your 14-year-old friends when we're trying to record. What's this face you're doing?

Never. Anyway. Seth says she could certainly be possessed by a demon. I think these things can be passed down maternally, too, from what I've read. This is the case.

She will need to have a proper exorcism, which can be absolutely insane, but mandatory for survival. She can also be oppressed by an evil spirit, which could be cleansed through faith works

by the person to get it out. What do you mean passed down maternally. So it's like Jews, Jewish people, you have to have your mom be Jewish for you to be Jewish. If your dad's a demon, you're basically just a Protestant.

So a human man can make sweet love to a succubus, and that can produce a girl who's nothing but trouble. That's what you're saying. But you can't do it the other way around. Like in Inuyasha. Yeah. It can't be father. This question is from Danny.

Danny. Danpinitkul. Danpinitkul. Danpinitkul. He knows about yeses and no's. He does certainly know about those. He has got 96 questions. He's just asking stuff.

How do I not scream to pain? Can a person really be chill in a nuthouse? Why is Sage the creepiest Sonic character? Do you guys know the answer to that? I do not know who Sage is. And I know quite a few Sonic characters. Is he talking about the Sonic guys from the commercials? Sage is kind of chill.

It's like sort of goth girl who's friends with Sonic the Hedgehog, I guess. Oh, this is like new Sonic? Yeah, this is pretty new. She's like sort of red. I don't know, man. Sonic people are weird. Sonic's a whole thing. They're not people.

They're hedgehogs. Sorry. I apologize. Is the Holy Spirit a ghost? Yes. Thank you for writing in. Anyway, someone else says no, but I suppose she could be a succubus. Winky face.

Not really, of course. as neither kind of infernal creature exists in reality. Yo, don't talk about my girl like she's a succubus. Someone else says, what? All caps, are you smoking? Not all caps. Oh, come on now. Cool.

I think it's reasonable to assume that someone could be a demon. I hate that people go on to these questions and say there are no such things as demons. It's so boring. Obviously, this question isn't for you. Yeah, it's for the demon people. It's for people who know something. Should we answer?

Should we put an answer then? Well, I don't know the answer, so I wouldn't dare. Fair enough. I wouldn't dare deign my opinion in this case. And yet, here I am doing it. I said not sure, but good luck. All right. Good to give some feedback.

I don't know how old this question is, and we're still a former admiral on here. We haven't really gotten any responses to anything we've done in a while, I don't think. Wait, we got some upvotes. Yeah, we got some upvotes on why does my wife make me eat cum? Because it's Piggy's time to eat, hashtag truth told. All right, cool. So our account is still growing. Yeah, we've got three upvotes on that.

No one's answered why isn't Rocco's Modern Life popular in Israel. Yeah, I don't know why that one has no answers on it. That's a damn shame. And I guess we're also in John Pierce's space, which I don't remember what that is. All right. Well, it's certainly part of this show. We're one of the four contributors.

Between us and the guy with the NATO flag. Well, that's great for us. Let's move on to the next core romance question. We got a bunch here. This is something that many are asking. Can an 86-year-old man sleep with an 18-year-old girl? Now, this is downright biblical in many cases. Can?

Can? Or should? Yeah, can or should. Now, should is not the question. Well, you know what? It depends, right? Because can, I don't know. Maybe not.

Many cannot. Maybe not. Have you seen this damn president, Joe Biden? Joe Biden, you couldn't handle an 18-year-old girl. Every time his mind clears enough to talk, he reminds you that he could. That is like the last thing he wants you to know. He thinks I can't have sex with a young girl? I'm a rabbit in a sack.

He just pops off. He just pops off. Now, many cannot, an erection is all about the strength of blood hydraulics. I will say, for Joe Biden specifically, the government probably has boner pills that we can't imagine. Yeah, military strength ones. That are a level beyond what is this for normal men. Yeah, for the Marines. Yeah, exactly.

And people like those when they need to kill hard. They need to rock hard. They need to be hard going in there. I feel like 86-year-old men who, I feel like they have no problem getting hard. Is that true?