Quorators - Extreme Situations w/ Lukas T. Arnold

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What am I supposed to do after my child makes a leprechaun trap? Why would you let your brother see you? It seems human beings are the most pathetic. All other beings live the way they are created for. In giving some abilities with mind, I feel we have been punished. It's like, we are already in hell. When will this stop? --- Follow Lukas on tiktok @ LukasTArnold. Watch him on Wild N Out and check out his podcast Two Nosy Meerkats. Come to our live show on December 14th at The Gutter in Brooklyn https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quorators-live-tickets-1077648448519 Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

Okay. That kind of makes me wonder about how the giraffe's neck came around. Yeah. Just blood-wise. That's a great qualifier for any sentence. How did this happen? Just blood-wise. Just thinking blood.

In terms of blood. I wish I could get my eyes on the blood. Ooh, my coffee's too far away. That's a shame. Yeah, go ahead and run out there. Send Jamie over to the blood. Pull that up, Jamie. Thank you, Jamie.

Jamie is Jeremy's new name. I've done that on my own podcast We're like pull it up Jamie There's no one there It's just so fun to say That's how he got big I've never watched Jorokin either I just love the idea of a Jamie

Is that where Jamie came from? Yeah his intern is named Jamie I've also never watched it Thousands of years from now We'll all refer to an assistant as a Jamie Well there was this one man Our starship needs a Jamie Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. All right. Yeah, well, now that we've uncovered Jamie. It's kind of like how it's called a John Hancock. Like, eventually there was one guy, and now we all call our signatures that. To explain that, he signed something. Yeah. What else did he do?

No one really knows. No, he did nothing else. I think he invented beer. Who knows? No, the Egyptians did. There you go. Well, swing and a miss on that. Let's start the show.

don't touch that dial you're listening to the quaraders podcast live on apple studios podcasts is that true well it's with the app in your phone if that's what you use if that's an actual corporation that pays people not on that on the regular one it's like granola bar people being like coming to you live from your deli yeah this is a nature's valley production oh that's a different bar oh yeah uh well we've got some great stuff for you today it's quarters the show where we go on quora with alex jeremy and claire hello uh real quick we have a live show on december 14th at the gutter and you have to come to it you'll be arrested if you're not yeah these tickets are moving fast and so you gotta get one or you're gonna be watching through the window do you have

any idea how many tickets i've sold i haven't even logged in because i know how fast they're going and unlike last week we have a link you can click on this time i love the future it's great to live in it it is great to live in it and uh it's great to hear from our very exciting guest this is a first for the podcast we have a comedian from new york city Is that true? Ooh, I've heard of that place. That's right. It's the home of Broadway itself and the home of laughs.

Today we have Lucas Arnold. Lucas? Hello. Hello. How are you guys today? Welcome to Jeremy's house. Thank you so much, Jeremy, and Jeremy's house. That's right.

Milo is there. Milo is there. Cat with one lung. Yes, I took the first one. I forgot to tell you I have a cat, and I always feel bad when I forget to tell people because sometimes I show up and they're like, I will die if I'm near this cat.

Yeah. It's happened a few times Thank god I'm not weak It is a perceived form of Leakness Specifically Dan Licato we're saying is weak He was sick Is Dan Licato allergic to cats?

We've had like three or four guests come over And be like oh I can't be near a cat And then not leave and just be like I'll breathe through my mouth Did he learn that the cat only had one lung And he's like if I'm around that cat It'll be two lungs missing There you go

That was scary. That was like you stole his voice. I started out on TikTok doing impressions. Yeah. So, yeah. Of specifically like New York comedians. Yeah, New York comedians. Guys who are friends with Joe Pera.

Yes, exactly. If he lives within five miles of them. Yeah, you could steal their voice. No, but like three or four people, they never leave. And then half the time they get like puffier as the show goes on. And so there's, like, this clock added to the show. I'm allergic to cats. Are you?

You really kept that to yourself, Claire? Claire, how are you? I'm allergic to cats. I just can't touch it and then touch me. Okay. I've seen you do this, though. I know, but she's cute. It's been, like, two months.

She's weak. Here's a little life riddle. Do you want to high-five this hand? No, don't do it. I didn't touch the cat. So you could have been fine. At least one thing to live for. And I will not share it here today.

Okay, good. That's for you to know. Yeah. As a rule, you should never high five a hand. I have a friend who in college was a hardcore Reddit atheist. And recently was like, I recently had an experience that gave me irrefutable proof of God. And I was like, what happened?

He's like, I will not say. Oh, why not? Which I feel like I should be allowed to kill him. Yeah. It seems ridiculous. Did he get Reddit gold? What happened? I don't know.

Yeah, he's doing it for the gold. I have wondered what it would feel like to get Reddit gold. Well, you would thank some kind stranger for it. And I guess it would feel like proof of a higher power ascending into my life. I've heard of Reddit gold, but I'm not on Reddit. I have an account that I made because I was like, oh, maybe I'll do something comedically. But I've never been on. You didn't post on stand-up shots?

No. The worst forum on the internet? How dare you? It's really bad. It's really unpleasant. It's just people who are like aware enough. You post a picture of you. I used to do it in college a lot,

and that's how I got a lot of Twitter followers, which has not helped my career at all. Yes, that's where X, the everything app. X followers. Don't dead name X. Yeah, please. So you post yourself doing a joke, but in like text or whatever.

Oh, I remember when we used to do that. Actually, I kind of like that because that's a good challenge. That's like testing your joke on hard mode. No delivery, just phrasing. It is a good challenge. Maybe it's too strong of a challenge because it is full of the meanest people on the internet

just breaking you down bit by bit. I remember that. My move in college was that I would Photoshop myself into specials I didn't have. That's funny. I would just put myself into Comedy Central. I was like 19 or whatever, and I'd put myself in front of a Comedy Central banner

and people were like, where do I find this? But it didn't exist, and it didn't look real. I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. You know how people do that? Wait, do your best Bernie Mac right now. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I have to get some paint.

When I turn the lights out, all my shit goes dark. Obviously, the joke being I'm not doing blackface. It's crazy. I thought that's what you meant for a second. I was like, what did I just sign up for? Yeah, I'm a really racist comedian. Yeah. Yeah, we do have a segment where Jeremy does blackface.

Yeah. And we try to start the show with that. Sometimes other face, different color face. Wait, Alex, who's your favorite blackface comedian? Oh, hmm. Justin Trudeau. Yeah, Jimmy Fallon did it. That's right.

It's hard to pick one. Billy Crystal. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Kimmel did it really hardcore, and people don't talk about it. Yeah, who did you not know? Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, Jamie pulled that up. Yeah.

Jamie being Jeremy. Jimmy Kimmel. It's not great. Oh, my God. Yo, he, like, does a whole voice. Really not great. Oh, my God. I love how much footage of this there is.

That's really something. Oh, God. It is deeply fucked up. It's full body, actually. What year is it from? 2022. No, I don't know. It's from The Man Show.

Oh, that's not 2022 at all. No, it's early 2000s for sure. Jesus. 1999. Remember when Jimmy Kimmel had a TV show where he was like, you know how we all love pussy so much? Oh, yeah. Adam Carolla.

yeah he's had a he's had an interesting trajectory just of like what his soul looks like yeah sometimes i wonder would be like if i loved pussy that much it's crazy if you love pussy that much really dig deep i can't conceive of it i can't i can't even see you as that i just i respect it so much my favorite part of the man show was that one time they brought on this lady who had titties so big that they crushed watermelon i remember Remember that woman from the early 2000s? She went on America's Got Talent. Yeah.

She has talent. I don't understand how they crush a watermelon. Does she push them into the watermelon? No, it's like she's lifting and then boom. That's got to hurt so bad. Maybe it's like cans or something. It was cans. She was crushing cans.

Cans is more believable than watermelon by a lot. She must have bruised tits all day. Well, I'm picturing she does a thing Muay Thai fighters do where they kind of like smash their tits into a tree for hours until they harden. Yeah. And then you can use them for any kind of crushing you need to do. That's what I'm waiting for.

Right, with their shins. Yeah, like a kung fu movie where they like harden their fists over time by punching trees, you know? Exactly. But with their huge ass titties, my God. God damn, as well. What a citizen. Lucas, at this point in the podcast, I should ask you,

have you been on Quora? I've been occasionally, yeah. I've looked up information where I needed answers. Do you get the gist of it? It's the questions website where you do social media, but only in the form of questions. Yes. And sometimes there are just posts as well, but those are reserved for spaces, which are like subreddits, which are like little communities.

So we're going to, we like to explore at the beginning of the podcast with a space of the week where we see what's going on in a Quora space. Space of the week. It's too long every time. The reverb is too much, and I won't fix it. Okay. I liked it. All right, so Jamie pulled that up.

This episode we haven't said yet is Extreme Situations. Okay. Right. That's the theme. And this space is... Ooh, we have a lady. This space is extremely model. Now, we were just talking about the man show.

And this is going to kind of be our version of it. Oh, that's a new woman. We've got titty. Jeremy, full screen this, please. It is full screen. How big you want it? With the full screen button for the screen capture. Okay.

I get nervous about not seeing the audio. It's all good. You're worried about the audio? And at the children on the street looking at the video. They're fine. They live in Brooklyn. I'm not going to dox myself. This is the extremely model space.

Okay. It's followed by. Home of extremely model. And this is followed by author Orson Scott Card. I love this one. And, of course, the Quora user Iamapizza, who is a sexual user who believes he is a pizza and wants you to eat him. Yeah, that's right.

He's a sexual user. Yes. Yeah, he's like a... I would hate to live at any other point in history. He... Iam... Let's check in on Iamapizza. We've checked in on him in the past.

He said on November 5th, What would happen to me if I am small and a burrito? And that was election day. That was election day. That's right. That was on November. Wow. America had a lot of questions that day.

Wait, of what country is he a citizen? Or are they? I don't know. I'm not sure. The oven. Or the box. A wood fire oven. You have to imagine he's either American or Italian, right?

He could be Indian. Or Chicagoan. Or Chicagoan as well. Which I believe is part of America. I just meant because there are so many Indian people on Quora. I think most people on Quora are Indian. Yeah, by and large, by the numbers, they are the most populous people on here. And usually when we don't know who somebody is, they are from India.

You know what? I will say they're a contributor to many spaces that are seemingly Indian names. So maybe they weren't Indian. Kluge, Kluge, Klux, Klan, Phan. Sandro. I'm afraid to click on that one A fandom space A fan club and safe space

For KKK members who also Happen to love Blue's Clues Wait no I'm sorry that's amazing Three contributors Only three? That's a podcast Has anyone Noticed that most Blue's Clues

Fan clubs are not inclusive Of clans persons This space is meant to be an answer to this I feel like this is a joke. This is a goose. This is a joke. I do think it's a joke, but it is a strange one. A regular reminder, please do not cyber bully I Am A Pizza.

That is not what the show is about. The show is about exploring spaces on Quora, which sometimes are pictures of titties and sometimes are a Blue's Clues KKK fan club. Who is Beef Patty? He's another contributor, another food guy. It said we followed them, but it doesn't look like we did. Can I be sausage for your breakfast?

I think that this is very similar to a pizza man. I think this is maybe an alt. It's an alt, I think. Yeah. Of I am a pizza, I'm going to follow. He got bored of being a pizza. He's also a beef fatty. Respect for that.

I don't know, man. This website is dumb. Can you block people on Quora? Are we going to get blocked by I am a pizza? No, like our best friend. It depends if you're doing anything to hurt them. I think you're only improving their life. It's just from their end, they don't know we have a podcast.

They're just like a core account that keeps like kind of interacting with them. And I think we look suspicious. We don't want to eat them. They know that. Well, that's what we have to keep saying. We have to say we do want to eat them. Because they want that. They want us to eat them.

They got to play the long game with I am a pizza. Anyway, so because the theme this week is extreme situations, the space is extremely modeled. Okay, sorry. We'll go back to extremely modeled, which again is just nude women, right? Okie dokie. But it's like Daenerys. Well, they're not always nude.

She's not nude. She's just in a sheer outfit. There's tasteful shears, Gerald. Tasteful boob. Tasteful boob. Side boob. What? Is that side boob?

Because it's the inner crevice. It's the boob you feel inside. That's side boob. I would say side. That's the side of a boob. That's the side of a boob. Inner boob. Okay.

None of this can be on YouTube. As we all know from the man show, the boob is broken into four quadrants. There's only two questions ever on this, and they're both about Halloween. I want to know what people who are familiar with me think I should wear on Halloween night. Okay. Well, we're not familiar with that. No one's familiar with that. No answers on that, strangely enough.

Wait, who said this? I'm trying to find out. A see-through top, really short skirt, high heels, and thong. Sexy. This was asked by Gemini Rory, Miss Variety Spice. I think you should wear thongs. Over 37 years of professional feminization. What is feminization?

I could tell you. I think this is like a sissy fetish thing. Wives both dead. whoa wait you're gonna want to read okay this is a bio of gemini lordy slash miss variety spice a normal straight man who has worked hard all of his life in the construction business and suffered a lot of painful injuries including a heart attack and open heart surgery easy to hurt but hard to kill life goes on first feminized in 1987 to attend a very private halloween party wives both dead feminization perpetuated by various other exotic women hundreds of very

special evenings, each with its own erotic story, created by women for women. Lori never goes out alone, always with a mistress. The enhancement of her feminization continues even as we speak. Professional female photographers keep her image updated. She is 78. Ladies and gentlemen,

coming to the stage, Alex Patak! Hey, everybody. That's a wild bio. If you've been through so much in your life... I don't know. Wow. You think he's ever had a clown dyke? I expect every day on the verge of death

at the site. Yeah. Anytime I see someone like that, I'm like, what's your favorite Thai dish? Yeah. Her most recent thing is two hours ago,

she gave, we're using she, her pronouns on this? I don't, I think so. Well, he's describing himself as a normal straight man.

Right. That's like the first thing. I thought that was like the before. Maybe not. I don't know. Well, but I think he can still be. Ends with she is 78.

She is 78. Begins with he, ends with she. I think this is the journey. Keep up, Claire. Okay, well, her most recent answer is a very, very long discussion of the problems with the Democratic Party two hours ago. I know. If only we had a podcast.

Unfortunately, we can't talk about that. Okay. But. Does Kamala Harris have children? No, not her children anyway. She knows nothing about having a child or raising it. Some say that there is evidence that she has aborted at least once. But who knows?

She's like a right-wing internet good. I don't know what's going on. Gender fluid. Yeah. She's the admin of Sexy Sissy Girls. Okay. And Extremely Model, which is a pretty popular space. Well, she's a contributor to Extremely Model.

Oh, not admin. She asked the two questions on it. Okay. But the posts are mostly very tasteful, but extreme sheers that kind of keep you coming back again and again. Okay. Great. Lovely. And it's an extreme situation to be on the space.

This feels extreme. Should we move on from this space? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go back to Extremely Model. Oh, yeah. Let's say goodbye to Extremely Model. Let's go to Quarantining, our parent questions. Okie dokie.

Right. Okay, so we're going to get into the core of the show now. This is, of course, Parenting Questions. That's enough. This first question is, what am I supposed to do after my child makes a leprechaun trap? Lucas. And this is why I'm here.

Yeah, we brought you here for this question specifically. Okay, well, clearly this is just like a science experiment, basically. This is like, hey, I'm going to set a trap, see what happens. Your kid is fucked around, let them find out. Yeah. Yeah, and like until I would say leave it for like, I would say a week tops. I would say, and if it doesn't happen, be like, hey, you've left it out for a week. and I don't know a lot about leprechauns

but I think they live on a week so it would have come out by now. So what do you think about maybe packing it up so we can have people over again? Yeah, leprechauns live about as long as a fly. They're like gnats. What doth a leprechaun track entail?

Yeah, I don't know. Because they're supposed to show up at the end of a rainbow. I know that. And there's that one horror movie where it kills people. Wait, this may be a perfect example of teaching your kid about marketing. Go where the leprechauns are.

You're in your home right now, probably. Do we know where the trap has been set up? Because I'm guessing it's in the living room. All we know is, what am I supposed to do after my child makes a leprechaun trap? I can look up who asked the question. It's someone named Blake Bollinger. Okay.

Blake looks Christian. Who lives in Louisiana. He does look Christian. He looks so young to have a child. Oh no, that's a man. He's 37. Oh, there's no way he's below 35. I'm looking at it, yeah. It can be tough as a Christian for your husband to pursue leprechauns,

which are condemned by the Bible. Are they actually? Are they really? They are condemned. They are against the Lord's plan. I know that witchcraft is against God's plan, but I don't know about leprechauns. Well, guys in hats.

They're heavily involved. Okay, so they have very coded hats, Hats that people maybe associate with, like, a different religion. Pagan, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, fair, yeah. They got a buckle on their damn head.

Weird. Are they not like pilgrims, though? I mean, the pilgrims are. Anybody who uses magic is going to hell, and they're getting turned into salt, and they're not allowed Bible style. So for your child, the fruit of your loins, who you have given unto the tree of life, from the Lord himself. I just had an idea. Do you think that, like, the punishment of getting turned into salt is maybe why white people are averse to seasoning? Maybe.

That's what it is. They associate seasoning with Sodom and Gomorrah. Oh, my God. Is that why? That's why. Wait, I actually need to write this down. I need to do something with this. Ancestral trauma?

Yes. Dude, you're great. It just makes me think of that guy's wife turning around, getting turned into that salt pile. Bro, if my wife got turned into a salt pile, I would be so pissed off. I would never forgive God for that. What are you talking about? This is the Sodom and Gomorrah story is that God was like, they're doing so much sin over there. It's pissing me off.

He's going to turn the whole city into salt. I'm going to destroy the whole city. If you turn around when you leave, I'm going to turn you into salt. And his wife does it. She turns into salt. Into a pillar of salt. And it's like there is a pillar of salt. And they're like, yeah, that was her.

That's the one. I did not know that. That was a Catholic school. Is that his name? Is it Lot? Yes, I think you're probably right. Lot's wife. Catholic school boy?

That sounds right. Lot sounds like somebody. Do I need to look up Lot's wife? Yeah, go ahead and search up Lot's wife. Does she have a name? No, she's just Lot's wife. The disobedient woman who is turned into a pile of salt. Yeah, she doesn't have a name.

Not named in the Bible. It's called Ada or Edith in some Jewish tradition. I'm glad we're getting into this. I know they're waiting for the fellas. I'm always trying to steer the show in a more faithful direction. She had a lot of children before she got turned into Saul. Good for you. Yeah, I guess.

I mean, wouldn't you turn into Saul? Two daughters. Wouldn't it be funny if the reason she had a lot of children is the only reason her husband got a name? She's like, I had a lot of this. Oh, you should have a name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for Lot. Good for him.

What did he do after that? Who knows? He has a pretty big one, so he did a bunch of stuff. A lot of stuff. Yeah, he really did. Oh, that's where that comes from. Yeah, that's the origin of the word a lot. Wait, something I always wondered, it was like, oh, Sodom and Gomorrah.

I was like, okay, Sodom, but we don't have anything that's named after Gomorrah. Yes. Right. I tweeted this once, and people said there is, and I didn't look into it. It made me scared. They were like, there is, buddy, and you don't want to know. So, sodomy is anal. Yeah.

Gamora's just eating pussy. Is that what it is? They don't want you to know that. No, yeah. It gives you cancer. Well, you know what? It was DJ Coward who responded to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very ignorant of you, Jeremy. I'm lost on a sea dude right now. Anyway, just real quick from the Christian man who asked this question about his kids. Two years ago, he asked, do parents of multiple children really love them equally? Which is very sad. And the answer is no. I can confirm they do not love them equally because I'm an only child and my parents did not love me. Hey, now.

Yeah. I don't want this to offend Lucas when he hears it. Not the fave. Alex, you're having a baby soon. Do you think if you have another one, you'll love them the same or you'll pick one? Depends which one's better. Yeah, that's what I think. I got to say, I mean, I have two cats and I like them both a lot, but I don't know.

You like them both, but you don't love them. Oh, I do love them as well, but I don't know. Do you like them equally? It's hard for me to say. Which one do you like more? They're very different. Pick one right now. Who do you love more, the idea of a baby or your two cats?

I guess if it's just an idea, don't make me pick this. Pick between Waffles and Luna. This isn't what we're doing. We're thinking about the leprechaun trap. They won't listen. I found this lovely leprechaun trap question. It's Luna. I know the answer. Luna's very lovely, and I do love her.

What am I supposed to do after my child makes a leprechaun trap? See, I love this because it shows that your child has the ability to plan something. There's a lot of executive function being shown by creating a leprechaun trap. I would be really excited by my child doing this. Totally. I'd throw him out in the woods and let him figure it out. That's a very funny reaction to have to your kid who's doing the serial killer stuff of he's peeing in his bed, sure. But he's also killing those small animals.

Well, he has a plan. I was about to say, a trap kind of shows early proficiency at weapons. systems. I love that development. I think you have to find one of your friends to dress up as a leprechaun and be like, you caught him. Now what? Now we kill him, right? That's what we do to food.

We eat them, Dad, right? We get leprechaun burgers? Yes, son, yeah. Are leprechauns closer to people or goblins? I would say possums. Possums. That was not what I was going to guess. I could see that, though.

I can see that. But they talk and they imagine. Yeah, but you're trapping them. I guess in terms of being a trap. Yeah, I said close to possums. I didn't say possums. Yeah, there you go. All right, fine.

Possums have, don't they have five fingers? That's raccoons. Oh, yeah. Okay, close one. Easy mistake. How many fingers do possums have? This is going off the rails. One too many.

Possum fingers. Oh, they only have four. But look, they look like, they kind of look a little. I know they have five. Jesus Christ, I hate this. I really don't like these animals that have people hands. See? I really think it's wrong.

I told you. It looks like that's why they're like leprechauns. I'm going to be honest. I said the first small animal that came to mind, and now I'm finding this really unsettling. There's a leprechaun right there. I'm going to point out, I said goblins, and these hands are just what I picture a goblin's hands to look like. These gifted hands.

Yeah, they look animated by Jim Henson or something. Yeah. Hey, Jesus. The hands look like they have hands. They have witch's hands. I need you to stop clicking on these Let's do the next question I don't know how we got there and I hate it

Why do possums have witch's hands? There's no good answers anyway I'm 50, married 23 years back And my wife tortured me How do I handle my 22 year old son Who is against my affair with my first love? Claire was right to say ouch Jesus Christ

So there's two questions here Is your wife the torturing one, the first love? That's kind of what I'm thinking that's kind of what i think well he's against my fair with my first love i think he's now against his wife because she tied him on that rack that uh the spanish inquisition had and she pulled all his limbs apart and so now he has like a hot 18 year old co-worker and he's leaving his wife for her and so his 22 year old son is against that and what does he do okay well he has more questions about this so we can actually there's more info to have well he's pretty hung up on

the wife thing married for 20 years and now married for 20 years now living with my first love who was a divorcee due to my wife's torture my wife says no to divorce but i'm ready for settlement my wife threatens to expose my affair if i file for divorce okay so he was tortured fell in love with someone had an affair and is now separated trying to get a divorce yes to exist with this now who is now his first love what i need are more descriptions on the torture here's some help we both are working people one of my driver is talking behind bad about me and my wife gossiping to others should we need to forego that but when i travel with him his gossip comes to mind how to deal this does that help a driver's gossip does that help alex yeah this guy doesn't

deserve love can this be a form of torture to have a driver talk about you i thought you were gonna end with his grammar well it seems as though the fair started two years ago yes when he first asked can cohabitation be demanded by the wife because i think he wanted to tell me brother and she goes i demand you cohabitate i don't know if that's legal wherever i live you know how women are this is all from this year this is from october oh my god it's been a hell of a year. Well, I hope it works out for him. This is awesome. All right, so his 22-year-old son has to come

to terms with his new wife, right? Right. Yeah. I mean, he was tortured. By the son's mom. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now I want to know the wife's side of the story. I know. Yeah, he had secrets, and I had to know them. It'd be funny if she was like, if you saw him, you would

torture him, too. Yeah. You'd pull this fucker's fingernails right off. He betrayed the crown. His idea of torture is he can't drink Diet Coke no more that's like husband shit we need so much detail I fucking love Diet Coke, Diet Coke rocks

it's way better than normal Coke, I love the chemicals they get me going in the morning and I think you're right to replace water with it if you're Paris Hilton or other fine celebrities and I'm talking fine

I'm sorry for too many deviations but have you seen Paris Hilton drop the voice? No. It's a video her in court yeah she starts off like doing the sort of like nasal like not to make fun of this like that but then she but then she drops into a very much more like adult resonant just like i am a person trying to make a case and it's like unsettling how normal she sounds we're gonna look at the daily mail's tiktok yes which lucas i know is where you live hey thank you it's incredible I'm pressing play on this.

Yes. Thank you. I enjoyed our Zoom call, and I love your jacket. The sparkles are amazing. I wanted to find out who made it later. But I think the most important thing is they need access to therapy counseling, mentorship, and other community-based. That's so true. She's like a reverse Theranos lady.

Yes. Elizabeth Holmes. Elizabeth Holmes. Yes. Yes. I was hoping for a tone drop. I was hoping like, and your honor,

this is a murderer we're discussing. Maybe that's just how she discusses therapy. It's just slight enough, but it is like, Jesus Christ, I didn't know you had this gear. Yes. Well, she's a magnate.

I was just at CVS, the local CVS pharmacy. Great corporation. And I love to support their work. And thank you. Thank you for driving for them. Essential workers. Woke up the cat.

We're in the magazine, right? Oh, I'm sorry about that. And there are a lot less magazines than there used to be available at CVS, I have been noticing. And there's kind of this industry consolidation that's happened where a lot of the people who go and read celebrity mags, they used to have, like, oh, Glamour, and then Paris Hilton would happen to be in it,

and you'd be like, oh, good, Paris Hilton's here. Paris Hilton has her own magazine now just called Paris, and you click on it, and by click on it, I mean pick it up with your hand. Click on it. Dude. You're fucked. You've been broken by the computer. The computer fucking broke you, dude.

You double click it. Yeah. You pick it up with your clicker, and it's just news about Paris for Paris fans. Because there aren't as many magazines left. It's just become Paris magazine. And you scroll through that? You fucking dumb ape. That's crazy.

We got to cut this out. Hold on. I'm downloading coffee. I clicked this. You're like one of those boomer cartoons that's like, how do I scroll through book? Don't let people know I said click. Yeah, post that on your space book page. This is a clip for sure.

I got to rest for a while. Do the next question. I'm tired of this. No, we haven't read any answers. I had a social studies teacher in high school who was like, you know, I know that you got, he spoke like Bernie Sanders. He was like, I know you guys are all on my face or space book or whatever. I love when they do that. Okay, what are the answers to the torture question?

Mohit says, you can't have the best of both worlds. Decide which one would bring you more peace and happiness, being with your first love or being with your son. I doubt you can have both. Oh, drop the bomb on him, Mohit. Oh, yeah. Drop the bomb on him. Go off, Mohit.

Send that comment. It's at least a recent question. I always feel weird when we're responding to stuff that's like eight years old.