Quorators - Family Values w/ Talking Simpsons Podcast

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Is Marge Simpson Black? I'm 15 and a little bit obese. I'm planning to smoke using my mom's cigarettes without telling her. What are the side effects of smoking in my age? Will my metabolism get faster? What should I do if my 15-year-old son has gotten three girls pregnant at a party and one is having triplets? Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators Be sure to subscribe to the Talking Simpsons patreon and listen to the podcast wherever podcasts are sold

and welcome back to quarators the show where we go on quora and then read it and that's the show i'm alex and this is jeremy yo what's up we're back for another crazy week what a time it's been isn't it jeremy yeah full on yeah what a time it's been we recorded 20 hours ago we really have and that time's changed us in between um we're hoping to bring those new lessons on with our exciting guests we have this week all the way from the talking simpsons podcast we have henry gilbert and bob mackie welcome to the show hello happy to be here at the funniest time of the day 10 17 a.m for us it's 1 17 p.m which is of course the master chief number sleepy do you mean john 117 that's exactly what i mean of course a good friend i just smile politely at

that joke we did a whole master chief episode like in the first few months we did this and i still didn't catch the 117 reference so probably our worst one we gotta go back well i'm not watching halo season two like everybody else that's all i see on twitter are people watching it my dad loves it he doesn't know what halo is but he watches every episode and he tells me about it if you haven't caught up yet they're finishing the fight it was it was cute when the super bowl ended uh on the stream i was watching on paramount plus and then at the end it was like you know you can continue watching with halo that was that was the suggestion after the super bowl it's pretty much football where you got where do you got to be nowhere that's where

um well welcome welcome to the show we're very excited to have you and as is custom we should begin at uh the foundation which is have you heard of the website quora and do you know what it is yes silent nods not just because i listen to your podcast i have seen uh tweets or x posts or whatever you call them now that have the funny quora questions in them that's right occasionally for research purposes i'll come to a quora of like you know for did the simpsons ever do this for some sort of research and uh in a grade out words after five ads i might see an unhelpful answer so i'm glad that you've had experience with that as that is going to come up during today's episode we found one simpsons question we'll get there in a minute um in the

meantime this is season three of quarators and we begin every episode with our new ploy to attract new listeners with our hot new segment tips for men if you're a man you gotta listen to this sit down uh we do you have one alex yeah i always got okay well before we we throw to Alex, if you guys have any tips for men you want to say, no pressure. Let us know what you got. Just advice generally for men. Let's see. You know, the new He-Man cartoon is out on Netflix.

And I think men are really going to love that. Give it a watch. Yeah, that can be a good way to find a role model, I think. Sure. He-Man, from what I recall, fights a skeleton. Skeletor. Is that something that we want to be doing? well the new he-man listens to women a lot more than he used to that's good that's so good for

him there's so much room for all of us to change i i'm sure that's so uh this is also advice for skeletons avoid he-man that guy is not messing around he does not like you he's not trying to be his friend go somewhere else to make friends i'm sure everyone has made this joke since he-man came out a million years ago, but He-Man really is the laziest name for a man of all time. I don't know what you mean. He-Man.

You save all the time announcing pronouns at the beginning of meetings. That's right. If they ever add pronouns to He-Man, I will be so mad. He-Man. Just so no one is confused. Yeah, I think that's even better than mine.

Mine was going to be, if walking around is too slow of a way of ambulating try rollerblades oh that's cool you can zip back and forth on those fuckers that's a good one yeah that's just for men today good we did it now that's out of the way the show can begin okay now of course on core raiders at the end of every episode we like to ask a question with our guest and uh pitch it into the community so the show gives back if you are a listener of the show you know that that can tend to have chaotic results sometimes that's right jeremy knows what he's nodding he knows what i'm saying uh this is

important to say we had a comedian megan bitchel on uh last time and that has colored our question to the start of this week which is our love spells rape that's the question well well this is nobody's fault who's here we now have to discuss it our hands are tied i'll tell you this there's no answer no there's one answer oh okay one guy says lol period some people think they border on the line of period yes period that all depends on the individual and their personal views what a well-regulated answer that was i love any current answer that's just like i don't know maybe yeah i mean i would say uh it it borders no i'd say yeah i would say yes i mean it's just it's a magical thing to force somebody to do something they wouldn't do so like i don't see

that too different from just like using a gun or whatever except it or actually no it's a faster version of like uh i guess destroying someone mentally until they do what you want which you yeah i'd call it rape ultimately this is for the courts to decide um pertaining to what henry and i do i did watch an episode of duckman recently that discussed this subject really and they came down on the idea that yes uh this is immoral and uh i believe if you were to fight this in court you could you submit that episode of duckman all right there's the guy with the love potion that was such a well thought out answer thank you to our guest and to duck man for digging all of us out of this hole

right at the start of the show duck man figured it out in 1996 yeah duck man has much to teach us still to this day if we're ready to listen those sacred texts there's so much we can learn well there's a lot we can learn today on quaraders uh season three of the show we are trying to theme the episodes now, and that kind of provides a guiding hand to the Quoras as we follow them into the hallways of learning, and that's why this week's

theme is family values. That's right. All family-related questions. What sound goes with that, in your opinion? I don't know. Godzilla? Yeah, hit the Godzilla sound. Alright. You got a family.

There is a Godzilla Jr., right? He's a father. Yeah. There's Midna If you're counting the 1998 American Godzilla film Godzilla gives birth to many children There you go And we're all in a way children of Godzilla

Absolutely And that's why he represents the family values segment Now we do have the Talking Simpsons podcast here and we were talking already about how there are so many Simpsons questions on this wonderful website Jeremy found one right before we started

And we will be starting the show with that. This is our first question of the day. I like the answer on this one a lot. So the question is, is Marge Simpson black? Now, I think for me, the answer is no. From what I've seen, no. Yellow. Just from what I've seen so far.

I don't know if that's ever come up on The Simpsons. No. I was going to say, is this because of her hair? Maybe. I guess. generously it could be there are notably black characters on the show yeah yeah i mean to be boring boring it would just be to say like no they've been very clear of what black skin looks like in the simpsons and march does not have that so i would say no she is not black is there maybe

are they confused is there like a shelbyville marge who is black uh maybe they just have been to too many flea markets circa 1992 and saw all the black Simpsons they saw the shirts of Bart Simpson being black and they're like well clearly Homer isn't oh yeah so this must be Marge it would be very funny to do a campaign

to recast Marge Simpson it's not you gotta make it match up like it's the same voice actor but just a different drawing it would add some more diversity to the cast that is true that is true let's start that hashtag

yeah get it trending you're listening at home hashtag make march simpson black i just like this answer a lot this guy his name is attorney chuck i don't i so i was trying to figure out if his profile is a joke it seems like he almost exclusively answers law questions so i don't think it is a joke like his whole profile he's done 12 000 answers people ask like about lawyers and he gives an answer about lawyers so he has from the perspective of a lawyer so he showed up for this question and he said i'm dedicated to providing clear and helpful advice to those in need however your question about marge simpson's ethnicity is outside the scope of my legal expertise that's marge simpson is a fictional character from the animated television

division show the simpsons the show is a satirical depiction of a middle-class american family and marge is a character is typically presented with yellow skin as are most of the characters in the series this is a stylistic choice by the creators and is not meant to reflect any real life ethnic background if you have any questions related to personal injury law or need legal advice in that area i would be more than happy to assist my experience in handling a wide range of personal injury case allows me cases allows me to provide guidance that's both practical and tailored to your specific situation feels free please feel free to share any concerns or queries related to personal injury law and i'll do my best to provide a detailed solution oriented response

thank you it's an advertisement for his law firm at the end if if somebody who's asking that question has committed a crime if if they ask them like okay marge got in a car accident is she black like uh quora is a great source to find people who have committed crimes unrelated to my question i mean uh an audience out there is hungry to know this information if If you're writing spec scripts, this is one just waiting to happen. Marge gets a DNA test. Yes, you're going to be ripping off a family guy that was written 23 years ago.

But who remembers that? One of the comments does say that she has French ancestry, if that helps, which it does not. Oh, because her name is Bouvier, right? See, Simpsons lore. There's Simpsons lore this episode. Yeah, that's the one to have it on. Absolutely. do they have an episode where they celebrate

Marge's ancestry and they go to France or something oh Marge did learn French in high school she tutored Homer in it but she didn't say like oh because of my

background in it and the Bouvier name is connected to her father so and he does not come off as particularly French and of course marge says she's lived her family goes back three generations in springfield uh but they don't say where they came from before that so no i can't uh that that's the most i can think of of them actually talking about her family's background i don't know if bob remember recalls anything else

no i think they they just don't want to pin them down to any specific kind of white person honestly it just hasn't been relevant very very often well these simpsons are as american as apple pie aren't they jeremy i'll say the last thing i'll say on this before we move on is just one answer just has a photo of marge simpson and it just says no she's yellow and that's correct that's true from what i'm seeing in this picture all right let's do uh let's go on to quora mdr where uh doctor and and health segment welcome to quora md alex likes to sing over the music i don't know if you can hear it stroll down the hall you might just hear the singing hey this question is i'm 15 and a little bit obese i'm planning to smoke using my mom's

cigarettes without telling her what are the side effects of smoking in my age will my will my metabolism get faster you could get really skinny if you're 15 you start smoking because you're already naturally gonna be probably the thinnest you'll get when you're 15 years old smoking smoking cigarettes to lose weight you're juicing that factor this is called juicing and fat kids love it it's it's the question is will cigarettes help me lose weight it's not even that it's just like what are the side effects of smoking i'm trying this new thing smoking uh yeah i guess the understanding is cigarettes will help me lose weight but then what will happen yeah what costs troy troy mcclure did teach us about

smoke yourself thin of course uh but yeah that's true but uh no i uh well as a as a formerly obese 15 year old i'm no longer 15 but uh yeah i mean uh i maybe i should have taken up smoking like all my cool friends but uh do i does this kid actually mean cigarettes and not like vaping because i feel like it's he's gonna be left out in high school sure is it not cool to smoke cigarettes in high school anymore now you have to be a are people gonna bully you what are you 50 years old grandpa what are you gonna do when all your friends are recharging it i guess maybe like a kid smoking today it would be like if in 2004 you had a little pouch of tobacco and you're rolling your own

you go to a fancy school there definitely are kids who are doing that uh my friend smoking clothes back clothes cigarettes back then to you know they they thought they were pretty cool there's only one way to find out if this is bad and it's by reading the comments let's see if that gets sure this one comment georgia says as a teenager who smokes i don't really recommend it thank you georgia enough is this for your teeth um what reasons would you give georgia she says uh the first time won't be harmful but it's going to feel really bad you will most likely definitely you'll most definitely choke on the smoke if you become a regular smoker you'll probably be out of breath all i mean these

are just these are just things that are that are bad for smoking you'll be out of breath you're you have a bad taste in your mouth uh long-term effects are even worse i i mean yeah i don't see i'm uh i guess it would i always hear from people that you gain weight when you stop smoking but i don't know i mean then this kid if he smokes for like a month and he's gonna and then stops he's gonna gain a lot more weight than i would it's true it's true that's a good way to blow back and like cigarettes are what uh i don't know six dollars a pack now um new york i guess he can't afford his sugary snacks anymore after he does that oh it's that's so sad that is

depressing yeah the child economy element of this is a totally uh this one guy neil greenstein says your body is still growing thank you consider uh yeah i think this this child should not smoke cigarettes to lose weight i think that they should use ozempic sponsored this week i think that's enough of that question that's fine i haven't decided oh here i'll say someone says try fasting fasting is much better for your lungs thank you quora.com it's way harder all Here's a more serious question about medical issues. If you superglued your penis hole and then masturbated,

would the pressure cause your penis to rip open? I'm so sick of getting these. Of getting these questions? Time may begin. Realistically, it depends on how long the refractory period was. How much is trapped down there.

If you waited a long time, maybe. A lot of this is like submarine physics. i think peeing would be an issue first yeah it is kind of like yeah it would have pressure inside and outside regulated this is what happened to the people trying to visit the titanic it's basically the same as the penis hold masturbation problem i mean yeah unless this guy thinks he's a really great shooter i i wouldn't think that uh the glues the glue is going to hold out but yeah I mean, he's going to get the sepsis is first, I think, the problem here. Oh, yeah.

You know what? And this is totally subjective, but it feels like glue has gotten stronger in my old age. I got some on my fingers accidentally around Christmas time, and it was on there all live long day. Maybe you're getting weaker. That could be it. You're no longer powerful enough to rip the glue off of your fingers in your old age. it felt like it was the glue it didn't feel like it was me it was unrelated now that you're 32 years old and glue technology you know what in the 90s you want to glue your penis hole shut

that's your business you could do it back then that's learning and growing up and now i think it's just kind of like an industrial incident yeah i as an adult i don't buy any glue other than like gorilla glue or super glue or whatever like the glueiest of glues like i don't buy children's elmer's glue that's made to be like ripped off by you know by a teacher going like no don't glue your hair to that rip you know honestly i think you'd be fine because what is cum if not glue and what is a penis if not a made for cum to go jeremy that's so smart you know what it's nature's glue i think if you scientifically replace all of your semen with glue you'd be fine you'd be fine you'd be sticking it yeah no one would care all right

Well, the doctors on this podcast have chimed in on Quora. We have sort of an up-in-the-air debate. Sure, people are disagreeing. John, sorry, Jay Ford says, no, but it might cause some pain. While the pressure of an ejaculation is fairly strong, it's not strong enough to break a good bond of skin to skin with most superglue.

That is a horrifying thing to imagine. And that's what I've been saying. This guy is just bragging, though. He's like, well, naturally, you know, I'm blasting all over the place. some of us are built different um if you can believe this this account has been banned at some time no there's a war on science uh he mostly posts to hot guys in underwear that is his um that's a space that's his space that he of his does seem like he'd be a semen expert then right

yeah he's he's studying that he was bad i don't know why he's posting the pictures or he's uh yes discussing them he's posting the pictures this one says is he too thin or just right yeah i wonder if he got banned for like posting a guy with a shirt on they're like sorry you're a menace give me what this was all right well good for jay i hope he's got a new account somewhere looking at guys in underwear um let's see what else many robert says first the pressure will build up and then the semen would go back up your urethra and possibly damage your bladder it's very painful and the tense choice on that makes them sound like they have done it many's job is worker

which i like uh and their bio is just all caps army thank you betty this is a military perspective on the whole question i mean i assume that sorry sorry this is just revealing how little i know about my own body because in my head I'm like, are these pipes connected? I don't think they are. Our military only has time to masturbate, so I assume this guy does have a lot of knowledge on blasting.

Yeah. It's part of the research division. The government tested on me. That's what they wanted to do to E.T. Yeah. They just wanted to glue his penis shut and make him jerk off. Those guys are in those suits because they don't want to

get the glue on them it's really hard to get off i was gonna say this is what happened to wolverine should we read more of this or should we call it there i wish i had a single pull from the wolverine movie i watched 25 years ago but i simply do not well he was he was uh given the weapon x program at alkali lake in the canadian government of course james hallett born in the 1800s i could go a lot weapon x we've glued his penis shut and created the most powerful bomb weapon sex there you go weapon sex more like weapon y all right those are all the jokes we have really good stuff everyone all right all right that of course brings us to our next segment here this is our religion

segment, Corbett and Fruit. Shifting topics drastically to this question. What is it like to have a circumcision? Now I've had a circumcision. Me too. I was a baby though. And I couldn't really recommend

it. No? Just no memory of the entire thing. I have a friend who swears that he had a botched circumcision and that he says he feels nothing in his penis, but he refuses to go to a doctor and find out if that's why. Oh, right.

And I tell him all the time, I say, go to a doctor. You should feel things. And he says, no. I don't want to. They botched me. Yeah, I'm often arguing about my friend's penis. So, is this supposed to be, what is it like to have an adult circumcision? Either that, or

they're expecting babies to answer. I'll say, I mean, it seems babies don't seem to like it. It's true. They don't like they don't like uh certain things that are kind of benign so who knows you know how their thoughts are skewed but i assume it's bad i i am an anti-circumcision uh truther okay all right but i do think i do think it was kind of effed up that in america like when we were children it was just like well of course you have to get certain like your baby needs to be circumcised

and it feels feels wrong i had a i never even thought about this until i for real had a teacher uh in in high school who she was just she told us stories about having to like secret her child out of the hospital so they wouldn't circumcise wow they're after your skin they want it all to themselves talking simpsons is an anti-circumcision podcast first and foremost and you can't speak below our shoulders we are hanging weights from our penises uh the anti-circumcision stuff is so funny to me because i feel like whenever someone tells me about it i'm like yeah that sounds right you're probably right but like i'm not gonna yeah don't make it your whole thing i'm gonna forget about it right after this let's focus on the simpsons

i mean yeah i'm not buying a t-shirt or whatever sure but uh yeah i though as far as an adult getting it done i mean if this is not like a religious practice but like just out of you know for some medical reason i would assume a doctor is going to give you a local anesthetic so you're not going to feel it right it could be like a jackass style prank they have like tattoo parlors but for circumcision that's uh one operation you could do there um oh hold on one second oh no why is it saying that we're running out of time this meeting is being recorded oh my god and they changed the voice of the lady i might i want to add every time she's shouting now i believe we were discussing circumcision

right you know uh the reasoning i i have heard in the past well i don't know if it happens anymore but the reasoning is oh it makes it easier to clean but i think it's more for the sake of the parents where the bargain for the parents is do you want to spend a lot of time cleaning a small penis right if the answer is yes we can move on the answer is no or a move part of it and your life will be easier until the

kid is like three or four and can they can wash themselves but until then your life is like two percent easier parents in the go-go 80s couldn't stop to clean a penis I have calls to take on my giant mobile phone

there there's new duran duran every other seconds um yeah from what i remember in the bible itself they have a part that it's like and then after the circumcision everyone had to take a break for a while because of how crazy it is down there there is an answer here from someone who said this guy scott myers says i was circumcised in my 50s i was put under for the procedure the recovery was not painful i only took one of the pain relievers that the doctor prescribed me for me about six years later i started getting uh ballon ballonitis on the tip of my foreskin oh sorry six years earlier so i guess the doctor said you have to circumcise to solve this rare this rare illness i i don't want to google it

to see you know i mean he does describe it a little more but i don't think anyone wants me to say it this is where the the phrase second opinion comes in which i normally don't care that much about it's like i'll trust this guy but it's like we want to uh you know operate on your penis i i would say what do other people think about this think about this that's right i know exactly where to go this one guy has a very long answer um eric sar says i've always wanted to be circumcised he says like it's the opening narration of goodfellas uh he says so finally at age 23 uh started to seek for a doctor sorry it's so hard to read some of these because they just are written in very weird english uh first

doctor laughed at me and made me feel stupid as i had no medical reason for circumcision second doctor was best i could find for money as i knew exactly how i want to be circumcised as low as possible very tight and frenulum removed the talk was short doctor was very understanding he just examined my foreskin to see if there are problems and I explained what style circumcision I wanted like it's

like he went to the barber do you have any notes for your circumcision yeah could you could you keep it tight I'm really stuck on the goodfellas thing as you were talking I was imagining the opening of goodfellas but instead of burying billy bats they're burying a foreskin everybody's throwing up not just

the one guy the way that he he's writing this in like broken english makes me think it's the pagliacci story doctor says why why are you cutting off your penis patient says keep it tight i'm missing but doctor you don't understand i have my foreskin they laughed at me anyway he says that there's no pain oh nice first time i dared to masturbate on fifth day so it took him five days to jerk off. What a legend. Tenth day, most of the swelling and coloring was gone. The only way to resist for five days of jerking off is major surgery.

Or glue it shut. Just a means to an end. Hawker said six days, but taking risks. That guy was a jerk. Okay, so it doesn't sound so bad, actually. A lot of people say they specifically

had opinions on how tight they wanted i don't know what that means it's like very weird i gotta like reassess something again my my understanding on the quality the reason you don't want circumcision is a looseness feels better than a tightness so why i don't understand why these guys don't want i mean do they feel their their penises are just too flappy there's just too much if you want a classic look yeah if you if you go to the military they they make you do high and tight penises it's a crew cut style yeah i think maybe with the renewed popularity of dune a lot of men are looking at their uh uncircumcised penises and thinking about that sandworm and just

they want it out of their head um i had an adult circumcision and i had them just only do the front and let the back go out like a mullet so i have like a sort of party in the back foreskin style wow there was way more written on this question than i would have guessed there's a lot of answers on this um a lot of diagrams 24 that i do not think we can be uh put into the youtube unfortunately youtube does not like those uh that will get it's a medical youtube thing right there youtube had a medical question um as soon as we upload any video to youtube youtube's like you cannot make money off of this we know who you are yeah and a pop-up shows up that's like you guys got to go back to school just like change everything you're doing

okay i've i'm done with this one yeah me too me too me too all right here we go what's another religion question thank you i converted to judaism by mistake i still believe in jesus what do i do yeah happens every day every single day yeah i well i need more detail i mean was this a marriage related one or did he just walk into the wrong door and it is notably hard to convert to judaism you have to do a lot of homework they test you yeah you have to read in hebrew it's like a citizenship exam it's hard you can't accidentally convert to Judaism

do Biden I remember yeah I don't know it was a multi-episode arc on sex in the city as I remember which is all I know about converting to Judaism if it takes three episodes on sex in the city then it's not an accident and I stand by that metric sorry we need to reach the point

where we can have some sort of eternal sunshine treatment that will just erase the famous messiahs from your brain like who who hamid i've never heard these names before in my life what an ode on muhammad i put that under the comments if you're gonna be this duplicitous to uh in bad faith convert to judaism like that i don't think they should take you back in the church that's right oh sure you can't be trusted around the saints sure though also i mean if you're gonna get a

In Christianity, it is so much easier. It's just like you get 20 minutes tops to get baptized, and then boom, you're there. You're back. We're taking all comers. You guys will take anybody. We love it. We love a big team.

We love a big team full of big rings. The rings are saints' rings? Sure. I feel like there must be. You know what? I'm spacing on this right now, but I feel like there must be some kind of religious Christian ring. uh i had a boss once who uh was he got extra religious um him and his wife like five years

into their marriage got extra religious like they were already christians but then they got very christian and when they did a recommitment ceremony they got giant gold crosses put on top of their old wedding rings so maybe maybe that that's bold it's like a extension on your house for the wedding thing. But it's a cross. But it's a full-on cross. It indicates a terrible torture that happened. Well, there's around 60 answers for this one,

so people are three times as interested in it as the foreskin question. Sure. People are upset that this person may be lying. They say, no, you didn't. Conversion takes at least a year, and you're expected to use that time to really decide on whether you want to be Jewish or not.

So they're saying, no, this guy's not telling the truth. He's a liar. He's a liar. Jews are like the StarCraft units. You have to build a bunch of buildings before you can make them. They're like dark Templar. Thank you. Jews are like dark Templar.

You can easily steal a base. You can only have a few of them. But they're quite powerful. And also they're melee units. I don't want to comment on Jewish conspiracies here. We're just taking a turn here. I mean it positively. I'm trying to see.

Almost every answer is just like saying, no, this is not true. You're lying. If they were High Templar, they could cast storms. I like this answer. This is the last I'll say. I think I am confusing them with High Templar.

That's why I said there's only a few of them. They'll make an Archon. Millie says, I'm sorry, it's too late. I'm sure they told you about this. Oh, well, Mazel Tov. That's the attitude you got to have. i'm sure they told you about this must have come up um just like going through all the motions of

converting and being like but it's cool to believe in jesus still right and they're like no you can't is there like an app you can do to convert to judaism where you just slam yes while you're kind of like checking your other stuff only during lockdown that's the one time it could happen what's the time it would have come up this is not something that the ceremony is about to happen like hey by the way uh jesus what's your thoughts on that guy and then there are just like oh god no uh i'm not ready for this that's why i was trying to relate this to like okay then this must be a divorce and a subcategory divorce question of like i became jewish by mistake is like saying my dumb wife made me get jewish and now i want a divorce like that's what's not

said here i was tricked by a liar i'm looking at the um the question asker and it says it's by j.malaney so i don't know what that means that's interesting uh i actually have an aunt who is a i mean i'm jewish or my i have an aunt who's jewish and is very pro jesus and i i think she's just confused but oh yeah but you know you can do it no one cares you can do all kinds of builds yeah you can do whatever you want well um i think our advice as a show is uh just do it you you messed up and uh it's too late for you you're jewish now get over it okay let's go into our politics segment we have one political question oh no this is you're not the first person to say that right after we said that uh this is our segment the quiz course this is a very uh hot

hot button political question there are no sacred cows here by the way yeah now that we're out of the religion segment this is not about penises if you can believe it um what would a gun owner do if i followed his wife home from work and blew a whistle at her all night so i think i heard about this one the primaries they add this to both joe biden and donald trump in the general election in 2020 whistle crime is spiraling Anderson Cooper was like what would you do he's got we're talking a soccer whistle sure I was thinking lifeguard well we're hearing like follow follow the wife home I feel like uh you know I need to know the where the location of the man is because once he passes a certain threshold that's when castle doctrine is enacted and yes you will be

shot but uh if the whistle is loud enough you know that might be ignored it might happen like outside the premises well i mean if you're on a public street or like you know hey this is a sidewalk i can i can whistle wherever i want me and your wife walked in the same direction but i mean i do think a gun owner the one i'm imagining in this question they have been waiting every second to shoot someone so i guess it depends how much they care about their wife i suppose that's a great point they they're they care about them as much as the whole world well no i think the question is if this whistleblowing man is still alive i guess not very much because these gun owners are just waiting i mean this is their moment to strike you can't enter a

man's castle i think bob was right about that talking simpsons is big believer in castle doctrine uh i mean this could be one of those rules that was put down on the books and you know 1852 and all these old town charters were like if a man blows a whistle he is allowed to be dispatched by violence whistles were a lot bigger back then yeah they were a bigger part of the culture there weren't phones yet you could just whistle from medium distances um let's see blue bonnet baby 88 says that's not a good number to have in your it's not a good number the bio is not going in good directions yeah with their pronouns told slash you slash so uh not liking the number 88 in there but um she says what makes you think only men are gun owners based on your

presumption i will answer with my own presumption first of all what makes you think that this isn't a lesbian gun owner. The doctor is a gun-owning woman. What now, Cora? In dating, there may be some opposite attracts. What, marriage? If it is going to have a chance to last, it must involve some fundamental foundational commonalities and beliefs.

So in this case, I would assume Mr. Gun Owner and Mrs. Gun Owner have both thought about what they would do if they're confronted with a threat. I think Mrs. Gun Owner would probably have her weapon, a phone, and a well-thought-out emergency plan for situations like this. If I were you, I would pray the police get there before Mrs. Gun Owner decides

that you are a threat and that she is in danger and protects herself. You are just the creepy dude that followed her home and began harassing her. Mrs. Gun Owner can neuter, I mean neutralize, any threat you pose without Mr. Gun Owner. So this is a couple who has a whistle plan. This is a feminist

Nazi who hates pronouns. Yeah, I mean, this potential Nazi or, you know, maybe someone born in 1988. It's very possible. By beliefs, and I appreciate that. i mean i i like that they uh seemingly her and her uh spouse have talked many times about like i who will shoot this person first like they're gonna be in a quick draw contest with with when

they finally get to kill someone for what they assume is self-defense this woman's bio is just a list of things that she does like and does not like and it says do in all caps and do not in all caps it's like hundreds of items okay very weird bios should be like that yes it's so clear i need some uh do nots i need to know what she's not into i do not support the sexualization of children neither i do not support exposing minors to drag queen performances uh i do not support holding any person alive today for historical wrongs of the past that were corrected in a bloody civil war huh i don't know what that's specific that last one i do not support eliminating or lowering criteria to place unqualified candidates in schools or in employment i do believe that

female only spaces should be safeguarded okay there's like 400 of these and they're all they're all just the worst thing you've ever heard well those weren't funny at all well this woman is excited to use her gun eventually so uh yeah i restarted like they were gonna be funny and they were not anyway sorry briefly got away from all the q and on talking points like go back to tearing down statues and then went right back i kept waiting i kept like reading the beginning and being like oh this is going to be a random little thing and then it's like oh no it's just a weird way to say the worst thing you've thought of oh well goodbye blue bonnet 88 i was hoping she'd at least have some like a fun thing about

like cookies shouldn't have raisins in them or whatever at least some facebook humor i do not like trans people i do not like when people say hot dogs are a sandwich um let's see if there's any other good answers on here uh terry murphy says she would blow your brains out damn damn jesus people are so angry again the question is what if i whistled at your wife um sterling archer who's oh from the tv show archer and he's a lawyer according to this bio says well i'm a gun owner and what i would do is i would call the cops and then call my friends in the district attorney's office then given that i'm relatively high profile in the county which i live and practice whichever judge ended up with your case will probably give it some attention

that you wouldn't like and that's just a classic sterling archer joke i was about to say because i'm pretty familiar with the show and that did sound outside of his voice it doesn't really resonate with me as like an h john benjamin no not really it's more of a conference call with powerful attorneys about the whistle guy i feel like most most of these lawyers go to cora just to brag about being lawyers that's the main reason they go to quora i think that's right that's why i go to quora this guy's a middling skier and he likes classic rock and 90s grunge and he doesn't like donald trump this could be anyone you know what this is alex patak it's my other account

aside from the one we're on right now that is insane to look at the history of um all right well now i truly have no idea how far along we are on this podcast but let me go to another question please we have to get to the gold this is our police segment five quo okay that police siren just for our listeners you are not being pulled over if you were driving in a car this is just the podcast you may be pulled over but not for this sound if you see lights that's not the podcast that's the police okay this question is how do i know if someone is frogging my phone and this is spelled with a ph frogging my home oh sorry frogging my home i read it wrong because I'm so confused

by what that means. It's because he doesn't know about frogging. So is this a real thing? Do people know what this is? I don't know what this is. I cheated by looking it up on my other monitor. Nice. If you've ever seen the Gary Busey film, Hider in the House, it's all about frogging.

Okay. That's when you have a parasite from Parasite. Exactly. No, I chose the more popular film. Oh, like Hider in the House. um there i mean this is kind of a tough new york question because there's not just like a lot of room to frog in here sure yeah we don't have the like someone was living in my attic for a year

it's like i have one room in my apartment like when the cat tries not to get found i can get her within like 45 seconds right she's just behind the toilet hmm boy i guess i mean the yeah i and what would a cop even do with that i mean like you need i would call a plumber first before the car oh yeah they're probably in the pipes as your guess now someone does say call in a frogging specialist there can't be many of those this can't happen that much oh this is a great answer from a stevens and i agree with it a lot he says i'd ask what you mean by frogging except i really don't care damn damn i would reply to that with you know the classic like uh clearly you care because you replied to this you know what i'm

gonna do it yeah start a fight with in this frogging chat clearly you do care okay that's good send that type it in got it uh do is all caps and quora is all caps clearly you do care because you commented on this quora great and i'm gonna downvote him um one guy says there would be telltale signs where is that oh yes no sorry it's down there but uh i think what what what is a telltale sign for frogging like so there's cookie crumbs it's just someone who lives in your home it's a sneaky little hider in the house okay it's a hider in the house yeah if you see a second uh count added to your netflix profile sure yeah that's a good point i wasn't watching i wasn't watching house of cards why is this person it can't be somebody

else on a different computer it must be someone living in my attic i think someone snuck in here he's watching bones i wouldn't re-watch season one of love on the spectrum why i'll read this first one okay larry lily says tell absolutely no one but very very very very very lightly dust a little powder near a door or other entry point that they use and check for footprints or scrapings upon returning home secure a hair in an inconspicuous place on a drawer or door or curtain then check it when you come home spend some more uh spend some money and get an easily hidden camera or two that seems way easier than doing like james bond shit

and install them. I saw one on the internet that was hidden in the head of a Phillips head screw. It came with wires attached that you would have to run through a computer. So his advice was put a hair down and see if they go for that. And hope that no wind has blown it away.

Also, you have to live alone in this situation. You can't live with normal other people. Put a bucket of water over the door. Have a little train going when they walk through. they they suggested all of the 1930s detective novel tricks before just saying uh you can also use a camera that's because they didn't have those pencil lead in the door hinge at this point check your ring doorbell this the see this is why i'm glad we can't own homes because like if you own a house this is this is stuff that drives you crazy it's nothing but

trouble if someone was frogging my apartment i don't own this that's not my problem really it sounds like we're getting along okay black christmas is a third movie about this oh okay just came to mind by christmas another movie either in the house parasite okay well this is good to keep in mind for our next question oh yeah so let's move on to that one yeah you're gonna like this okay this is a very different question how do you know you have been frogged how did you find these alex i was all these uh frog chats do you search frog in quora by these two i sometimes i just combine uh consonants i don't think go together and kind of see what shows up i think i mean the the simple answer is you know you've been frogged

when you're aware of the frogging because what as soon as you find out you say i've been frogged am i being frogged if you put a hair on your dresser and it disappears you might be robbed there's a man living in your cabinet i uh i mean you could do something i would call the santa test of leaving out cookies and milk and see what happens there oh that's a great way to find out if you're been if you're being frogged specifically by santa claus uh there's one extended answer yeah it is locked behind quora plus this is such a bummer because we can't read it in full we can just and it says i personally know someone who was frogged and then we can't really read much more true life i was frog she

had an ex-partner live up in the ceiling cross crawl space for a couple weeks she was noticing strange sounds missing food and smell of cigarette smoke it all became clear when she came home unexpectedly during the week and she found him watching tv in the lounge room well okay well so frogging see now i feel like that shouldn't even just be called frogging it's just like yeah you an ex-roommate still has the keys to your place like yeah that's what it's called i will i will say if you're an adult and you've been living away from your parents for at least 10 years uh visit them check your childhood bedroom because it's probably full of shit right now and it's the perfect place for a frogger to hide that's what the popular video game kind of

the place of a frogger i'd play that game frogger with a ph interesting isn't it but as your parents get older they might think that it's you living in your old room and then it then it just becomes an adoption i don't think there's anything else on this question no we have a great trip we are coming at the end here but uh yes there's a very important segment i've been slamming that querenting button this is our parenting segment querenting alex has found that's enough sins about triplets and there has to be three of

them and we were unable to upgrade our zoom account so zoom is telling us we are on a clock yeah this is what we call speed podcast everyone's favorite type of podcasting don't

answer that okay the question is I am pregnant with triplets two girls and one boy my husband wants to abort the two girls and keep the boy I want to keep all three what do

i do i mean divorce that's number one like get out of there you gotta we instigate some sort of in utero fight between the three children yeah that washes out how could you report just one baby yeah if they're weak no do it like the joker in the dark night put a break on yes you stick it up there and say whichever kid lives here is the keeper. So you break the pool stick. You stick half of it up your vagina and you say, hold on. Don't

get excited. There's another half coming. Well, it's a fetus-sized pool stick. It has to be something realistic they can use. It's like a popsicle stick. That's kind of cute when you do it that way. It's a little cute. And they're going to kill each other. And it's fun to do home activities.

That's a good bonding experience for the two that survive. We have two more triplet questions oh no oh wait so this guy actually i misread it the guy wants to abort both of the girls yeah okay so it's really there's two have to go i guess j david who do we read another answer from him says i would abort the husband that's a pretty good he's already out common misconception um okay everyone's saying abort the husband yes please okay triplet question number two number two what should i do if my 15 year old son has gotten three girls pregnant at a party and one is having triplets so this is like kind of the other way with it wow three

girls pregnant and one's having triplets at one party five babies it sounds like it's one party has to make up for all of the young people who aren't having sex now so that's right he's changing the the the graphs that we see every day hero of gen z the economy is dependent on your chad son going to more of these parties he's the baby equivalent of the guy who swallows all those spiders but i mean the clearly the triplet girl is the is the one he should marry because that's the most fertile and she's the number one girl that's a great that's how marriage works usually whenever i'm not sure who to marry i try to get everyone pregnant and see who has the most babies in them at once and i say you are the most fertile you will be my wife you're a

keeper this happens to me once a year you are the egg bearer you are the egg bearer that's actually the plot of the next avatar movie uh there's a lot of pushback in these there's a lot of answer on this it's uh mostly just uh you're a troll i can't be trolling on quora how dare you troll on our sacred question website so let's just talk talk to a doctor and tell him this he'll explain to you that this is almost entirely impossible who's telling you this someone bragging my son can't you read my son told me this a lot of the answers on all these questions are really really should be responded to with like you read the question wrong go back someone says have him neutered which seems very cruel but you know what if you're having five

babies in one night maybe you're maybe you're too fertile so you're the reason the line's going down that's right me specifically you're the problem oh no jeremy we have five minutes we have to get to the last triplet question oh my god all right i'm so scared my daughter has been giving birth non-stop for the past few weeks parentheses at least one baby per day what should i do that's a lot of babies that's so many babies you gotta see a doctor if it's one per day that's so many babies i think this is just we have to ask is this like a fur baby is this a rat yes this is a rat we've solved it i was gonna suggest it was a xenomorph queen in which case again

get out of there i guess the fur babies thing could apply if it's like you know gen z slang and it's giving birth every day come home with a new rat you are giving birth right now that's so funny it would be too many rats i mean even just a person could be giving birth like if you're glowing yeah if you're glowing she's saying her daughter is fat sure she's giving it's a mean comment it's like a real roundabout way of calling your daughter fat it's like it takes a while why are you so out of breath and why do you keep pushing you're giving birth you must be giving birth every day with how you've gained five pounds you could be just jealous of healthy bowel movements that she just there you go that makes sense there you go that is a most

likely scenario from what we've cobbled together so far more likely than serving birthy looks the top answer is just seek immediate medical attention and uh as if you're specifically for your daughter if she's experiencing consecutive births which is a very funny phrase yeah you can be in like a daytime medical drama at least one baby per day. That would be an interesting Dr. House episode. I'd watch that too many babies.

He'd get to the bottom of it. He would. He'd be really mean about it, too. He has like house. Sure. Yeah, you know, the house made Brian Singer a very rich man, so it's hard to go back

and watch. Yeah, that's pretty fair. actually at the end we all agree it's a social good um this guy janine says or maybe she says is your daughter a cat so we're all on the same page here with quora.com yeah this is a litter scenario do you guys have any questions you'd like to ask quora do you have anything boy now i feel i'm on the circumcision thing again oh yeah let's do it uh i'll say i'll say which uh black actor should replace Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson. Is it Regina King? That's good. Type that up, Jeremy.

Quora will be very happy to answer this. We're getting that on the pod, but we'll get back to you next week. In the meantime, thank you so much for both coming on the famous show Quorators Podcast, the podcast about Quora. Where can our listeners find you at home and abroad?

Oh, we are the Talking Simpsons Podcast. Go to TalkingSimpsons.com to listen to our chronological exploration of the Simpsons or go to Patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons to sign up there and listen to episodes about Futurama, King of the Hill, and a ton of other shows. We've been doing this for over

almost seven years on the Patreon, so there's a ton of stuff on there if you like hearing us talk about cartoons. Yeah, I mean, if you want to hear a six-and-a-half-hour episode about Who Framed Roger Rabbit with not a second wasted, go to that patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons.

We know things about cartoons, yes. that's four times the length of roger rabbit roger rabbit's like a tight 90 isn't it well sure the film is but every second is full of characters and people need to know why donald duck looks or sorry daffy duck looks different in like three different scenes and he's got the answer zoom is going to kick us off in the middle I want to go out on this. This is important.

Okay, well, it sounds like there's six and a half hours of answers on that if you want to look into that. Please do. If you're looking for more of our show, we have new episodes every Thursday where we go on other websites that aren't Quora. Patreon.com slash Quora. Patreon.com slash Quora Raiders.

Thank you very much for being on our podcast. And thank you to the Talking Simpsons show once more. Thank you. Thank you.