Quorators - Hall of Warriors w/ Mark Roebuck

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions.  This week we find an insane quora user named SIDEWINDER who invented his own style of fighting. So get hyped for that because we read his posts for 20 minutes. Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Check out Mark's very funny website Skitching the Elephant https://www.skitchingtheelephant.com/

Unless you got, like, a snowball mic, I think you're pretty... Speaking of which, though, we should make Mark louder because I feel like every time we have a Zoom guest on, we get yelled at for not having our guest loud enough. Okay, Mark, give it a shout-out. I can keep... Yeah, you want me to do the... No, I just turned you up on our board. Okay.

It's our fault. I'm going to blast him. You're going all the way to the top. Ooh. We have a little board so you can pretend you're, like, a... I don't know, an astronaut or something. With my sound board. Space effect.

Allow me to be clear. Using my soundboard, I can pretend that I am an astronaut. Because you get the full throttle. I don't know. I'm pushing it to the limit. I'm going to kill myself. Do you mean it's just like the fact that there's something to slide makes you feel like a spaceman? It's not anything.

Okay. You know, spacemen are always sliding into the mix. I'm a simple man. It's like that first wave of Apollo when everything was still stick shift. nasa's always uh turning the volume up on rough riders anthem and whenever they fly they have to do their mario sound effects oh no oh thank god i'm on the right board for that i don't know if you could hear that mark we have sound effects did you did you you may you you jeremy went oh no right

Don't try to tell me that was a sample Alright, please dance if you can hear this Quarators And it's Quarators another week Live on the ones and twos the only podcast that reads about Quora that I am aware of. It's Alex and Jeremy. What's going on? Yo, what's up?

I'm Alex and that's Jeremy. We got a great guest for you this week from the halls of Ha Ha Town itself. You may know his work on the hard drive magazine, internet magazine, or many of his other travails. We'd like to welcome to the show Mark Roebuck. Mark, welcome to the show. Hey, guys. Coming to you from the halls of Ha Ha.

I forget what you said. That was you over at the Ha Ha Hall. For some reason, Alex feels the need to introduce the city that everyone's from. But I think most of our guests are from New York. Right. And the other ones, Alex doesn't know where they're from. Mind Palace. You want to be able to place them.

What was it? Kyle Kinane was here, and I was like, he's from Los Angeles. He's like, Portland, New York. I'm living in Portland. Do you want to redo this? We don't do that. Mark, welcome to the show. thanks very much for having me uh you like going on websites oh yeah you ever been on this one

this quora.com mark i you know prior to uh you guys starting this show about it i always was like a little bit uh i don't remember ever like hearing about the website for the first time right and then just you just start to see it on results and stuff i never knew if it was like fishy or real or what the fuck you know so i don't i i guess it's all real i didn't realize how maybe vibrant and let's say eccentric the community really was so i'm very much an outsider to it all what i like about this show is for whatever reason the people we have on always there's like this implication of just like i don't know why you had to make this website that i now have to look at and get stupider for but uh thank you for doing that uh people i feel like also when people

are mad at us and they don't know what our show is, they think that we invented Quora. Yeah, we work for Quora. Because we get tagged a lot in posts that are like at Quora, at Quorators, why are there so many pedophiles on your website? It is usually like a breach of the law of like, so white nationalism's okay

at Quorators? At Alex Patak? CEO of Quora. You get people that think this is all like, despite you reading the weirdest and worst shit on the website, they think like, oh, don't you have to disclose ads, guys? What's going on? Yeah, we're sponsored by Quora.

We get paid by Quora. Big Quora. Big question. Yeah, we're paid in upvotes. Good. That's good. Good votes if you can get them. They're good votes if you can get them.

They really should come up with a separate currency on there because I feel stupid mentioning them. Yeah, that's right. Well, if you're familiar with the show, we usually like to begin with a little drop of what we were looking into last week. But before we get there, we have a new recurring segment. And that is, of course, the newly unveiled Tips for Women.

Yes, that's right. I have to remember where the button is. Tips for Women. Women hold up half of the sky, Mark. What? And it's our job to kind of give them some tips while they're at it. um we were focusing on men for a while but uh now we're on to women women we've got our eye on you we've got our eye on you like sour it's 50 50 50 on the sky but they need us to give them some help

yeah yeah okay okay maybe like straighten your back you know lock don't lock the knees um yeah you don't want the weight of the sky go directly on your joints no no you're gonna feel that when to get older that sky weight not to put pressure on you mark you don't have to have one but do you have a tip you'd like to give to women specifically any advice specifically for women like you thought like get rid of purses or something like that yeah uh i wouldn't say get rid of purses i might say keep on trucking is that oh that's great that's really good for women i don't want to i don't to overstep i know my lane and not to keep it in the truck i see you trucking and i want you to keep doing it i see you in the truck and i like where it's going you know i might i might think

about doing this but i'm like they probably they might not like i don't want that to be interpreted wrong i just like sure but all joking aside trucks are one of the safest vehicles on the road and they're load-bearing well not for other drivers but for yourself no they're a mobile battering ram yeah you'll be hot to try it i once had a discussion with a female co-worker when i worked at a restaurant where she was buying a new car that's the end of the story did you give her some help with some stuff she was buying a new car and i was like what are you getting and she's like i just want the biggest car i can get so i'll never die in a crash and uh i i uh naively responded but you'll kill someone else and she was like it's them or me it's like this exists

entirely in your brain you lunatic oh man when it goes down i want to feel like a monster truck cruising over the other cars oh grave digger ended my family line i think if a woman said that to me that she wanted to buy a big car i would have to stop myself from being like little penis alert the clitoris as we discussed on the bonus episode that's right what two weeks ago when's this come out uh i don't remember no that's the last it's the most recent bonus go check it out no one cares uh okay well that's our tip for women for today we played it again oh it's so long tips wait for women all right i can't make a new song every week we gotta get some juice out of the old one first

Okay, so every week we ask a question on Quora, and then we read the responses on the next episode. So last week we asked, what is the worst crime you have ever committed? Was it fun? Now, a lot of law officers, who, of course, we uphold and respect on our show, are on Quora,

and I would expect for them to kind of chide us if we're asking if it's fun. But the thing about crime is oftentimes it is fun, then that's why it has to be outlawed especially when it pays oh yeah when there's big dollar bills like um uh let's say a drive-by shooting i bet is fun to do even if there are grave consequences just off the top of my head yeah not endorsing anything any chance you get to stick your head out a window in a car is fun yeah even if you're killing dogs you're on to something you're gonna cry mark you do you do the whole hangout i think i might just stick the gun out

the window yeah oh yeah you know what that makes more sense yeah maybe you're right you're really not afraid of getting anything back if you're whole you know what i'm going half my body out the window and i'm going i'm doing like a full moon out the back oh sure yeah so they're like is that in and then through the legs that's pretty the last thing you see that's my whole ass son is that guy shitting it's a god dude how impressive would it be if you got fucking head shotted through an ass god damn that would be cool anyway that's one crime is my point i think uh you can get up on top i want to get on top of the van like the guy in teen wolf yes let's fucking go we are always talking about this alex and i watch teen wolf

together in teen wolf the casual hometown sport that everyone does is standing on top of a car and driving. And it's like, play the song, like, what, Slayer? No, no, no, put it on the Beach Boys tape. Yeah, because they're surfing at the Beach Boys. I mean, yeah, the surfing thing is fair, but it seems like that's such a, you know,

it feels like a Judas Priest or something. It's more hardcore. It lends itself to that or something, yeah. I see what you're saying, and they should have a disclaimer at the bottom, do not try unless you are a wolf. Yeah, unless you are a teenage wolf, do not try this.

If you're a teenage wolf, then go for it. You have the raw athleticism to make it work. Seriously, Teen Wolf is so funny when he turns into a wolf, and it's like he's freaking out, and he's like, oh, I'm a wolf now. Oh, what the fuck is going to happen to me? And he opens the door, and his dad's just a wolf. No, I think my favorite part of that movie

is when the girl has sex with him, the popular girl has sex with him, and she's like, be a wolf, though. She makes him transform. Ravage me like a wolf. We cannot talk about Teen Wolf again. no you're right it's not a team it's been way too much okay we have to move on i'm sorry for my part no no it's important it's a it's an important text mark sit in the corner i brought

it up for any listeners that are upset i came i showed up yeah we didn't show no to not bring up teen wolf this is all i mean we did not ask him to bring up team wolf we were like around 10 minutes in we're gonna need some gas things are gonna start stalling let me read this answer from vernon vernon holmesquist vernon holmquist says i used to have a decommissioned police car in high school which my friends and i would drive around at night and flash the spotlight into people's cars and yell at them like we were insane police officers it was fun but looking back it could have been a real bad time for us since it was a rather in a rather red state also drove fast as hell everywhere in that car going 100 plus felt like cruising it was scary vernon holmesquist

that is the best answer we've ever gotten yeah that fucking rocks that sounds like so much fun that's way better than like whenever i was bored in high school and like my friends wanted to commit a crime they would just like climb on the roof of a building they weren't yeah we did that a lot it was so boring it sucked ass and then a janitor would chase you away um i'll say another good answer here from colby lawyer doctor is nothing compares to the thrill of theft oh yeah that's true that's a big fact right there that's just fun because you have the fun of the theft and then you so often get a nice little thing on something to remember it by yeah you're gonna yeah and you often it's like um you know it's not like when someone gets you a present like you know i i

steal the stuff i like i'm generally pretty you know what i mean you go home with something good i gotta say colby lawyer doctor is such a fun name it does make me think they are just a listener of the show who is not using our trademark password scrambled eggs throw scrambled eggs in your comments we know that you're not a real person you're not uh you're not actually on there you don't go to that school but uh it was it was a good answer though that was a good point okay let's get into our episode our we have a theme this week do you want to tell us what it is alex sure uh we got a lot of combat questions and so we have catered together a theme this week for mark who is a fighter.

One of our strongest guests, the Hall of Warriors. That's right. This episode is Hall of Warriors themed. What sound goes with this? When you say strong, are you saying strong?

No, I mean like lithe and tiger. Like the body of a tiger. Oh, wait. Oh, yeah, there you go. Hall of Warriors. There you go. Are you happy? I'm happy. okay i'm happy um this is our intel and manosphere segment the quoker hit it we've

too many segments should we get rid of segments you guys can do a segment where you uh talk about what's going on segment wise with the show it's too much it's what what else is gonna go with all these sound slots it's like half of them I feel like I'm drowning don't say that you've never been more alive I'm going to be done and I'm going to leave

and my wife Taylor is going to be like we didn't get to any questions we were just playing theme songs so these are our Incel and Manusphere questions which is most of what today is going to be because warriors cannot afford to share love. That's so true, Alex. And in this way are involuntarily celibate.

So our first question here. Have you poisoned anyone to get what you want? Okay. Now, I haven't. I have not either, Mark. I can't think of one time. Have you poisoned anyone to get what you want? Oh, Mark looks frozen unless he's really nonplussed by this question.

Oh, no, we just lost internet. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. My internet sucks. Hold on. Recording in progress. And we're back. Please, can we focus on poisoning people? Yeah, did you hear the question, Mark?

Get what we want. No, I did not. As soon as you said there's going to be a lot of incel questions, you froze. Okay, great. And I was like, what is he going to say next? And they're like, oh, he froze. Your face was perfectly frozen for the whole thing where you were like, oh, my. I thought you were just waiting with bated breath.

No, sorry. That's okay. All right. The question was, have you poisoned anyone to get what you want? That's also an appropriate response. You were kind of just making that organic. I think that we thought you had and that you were considering the crimes of your past. Do I really want to fucking talk about this?

I like the implication that, have you poisoned anyone? Now, not just for fun, you understand. Something on the other end. For a purpose. Because you were a waiter and you had a problem with society or something. But no, I don't think I've ever done anything that would constitute poisoning anyone. I may have, as a waiter, brought someone some food that made them sick. But I like to think I was just a link in that chain.

Yeah. Sure, that's on the chef. I was going to say, you've worked in a lot of fast food places that may have just inadvertently poisoned someone. But it wasn't for your purposes. It wasn't for power. No. Right. I wasn't like, hey, this guy was rude.

You got a bum one I can serve? Like a Game of Thrones plot. Yeah. Yeah. No. eating like Little Caesars and they become purple. Joffrey. Their eyes bulge out of their

head. What's like a light poisoning that I might have done and forgotten about? It just feels so intense. Have you ever been a bartender? I've bartended, yeah. If you've been a bartender, you could argue that you've been poisoning people. And to get what you want? Money?

You sick fuck. Is this the idea that alcohol is poison? It literally is poison. I poison people for cash. Yeah. For cold, hard cash. That's some fucking dark shit, bro. No, no, no, no, Jeremy.

These sick fucks paid me to do it. Listen. This culture is sick. It's sick, and we need a doctor. Have you guys ever... Do we all admit our crimes? We both said we didn't, but it's good that you have.

I was trying to think of if I had. I don't think I have. no jeremy you promised me you hadn't when we started i feel like the closest i have to poisoning someone probably is like when you and your friends and your kid like make a nasty drink but like at a restaurant right by pouring all the like salt in it or whatever but i don't think we ever like trick someone into drinking it or anything death cup death cup that's a good name um yeah or like in a hamlet style way where you poison someone's ear by whispering a sweet lie sure sure yeah i whispered a sweet lie to get what i want i've done that for sure for to for power

sure no yeah we've all done that uh let's read some of these answers please uh i have a feeling that a lot of them are going to be jokes okay which makes me sick um i really like the top one like poison wood okay suzy q says at least four times a week got to do it in small portions because i'm making sure i get it all baby enjoy your night and then a dead flower emoji what does this mean uh i think this is a joke that's what i'm saying i think suzy q is doing a little it doesn't read as a joke to me it reads like the beginning of a mystery four times a week uh get what she wants she does she's in like evil spaces like dark angel seduction and the wolf inside us yeah that sounds like someone who poisons worldwide dating oh yeah

That's pretty good. And she knows about dog breeding. She knows English. And she knows romance scammers. It's really easy to poison a dog. Dogs can't eat many foods. That's so true. Yeah, so you could poison a dog very easily.

Yeah, that's a way a lot of people might have poisoned people is their dog ate a grape or some chocolate or something. Yeah, sure, if you consider the dogs are just fur babies, after all. And then you're giving the dog a grape to get what you want. Yeah, which is poop, I guess. maybe you got too many grapes i gotta get rid of these i don't care who gets hurt i have this thing about throwing away food here's a good answer from uh amadani block he says no i'm an artificial intelligence developed by open ai and i do not possess physical capabilities

or intentions to poison anyone my purpose is to assist users with their inquiries in a responsible and ethical manner interesting answer this is addressing a lot of the concerns i had about Almadani Block. Yeah. Who I guess is a simple artificial intelligence. The artificial intelligence that won't poison you to get what it wants.

Remember that when you're choosing an artificial intelligence service. That's the advertising campaign. American novice says Republican misinformation is America's new poison. Oh! Wow. Go off. Tell us how you really feel. There are no sacred

cows here in the Quokker. All right, let's do another one. Here's one that I almost took off the dock, but Alex insisted we keep. Yeah, I think it's too based. I thought it was a little too edgy. What are your thoughts on the clothing of ancient warriors? They rock.

They all rock. They're cool how many sharp points there are in heavy armors. No answers on this. It's just a photo of a knight. Yes. Well, that's clothing to them. That is clothing. because that that feels like armor when you say clothing i almost picture an ancient warrior can

encompass so much but i almost picture more like a you know like a cloth like a you know between fight i don't know you know smearing mud on your face to make a hardened plaque that's right that's right that could be clothing to an ancient warrior sure what are your thoughts on the clothing of ancient warriors jeremy i'm with mark i don't think that it's fair to say that like armor is clothing like i feel like you can't like put on a fucking piece of chain mail and be like where's my shirt yeah did you like my clothing yeah that's ridiculous i don't know is this shirt too much and it's a chain mail yeah come on okay what about like what they wear and i am again thinking of like naruto which is not a real thing that happened and no one's saying it is but sure

they wear pretty cool clothes on that yeah lots of cloaks do you like cloaks i guess i think that would be fun if we could bring back like i want to just say garb but i know that just means clothes let's get garb in the chat yeah but it's like from an era where the garb was oh yeah a little different it's a little different just you know i feel like women won't let us have garb yeah that's that's what it is not to point my finger at anyone in particular it's women i'm looking at the other half of the sky and I'm thinking like this is why we don't

have a garb. This is where all the garb went. All right. We're moving on from this question. Fine. I'm glad we did it.

I'm afraid of what Alex will say next. There are no secret cows. What should I do if I want to beat someone with a baseball bat who is trying

to ruin my life? Oh, no. It's a situation that happens to Mario sometimes. So two angles on this one one would be to slam the that thing with your big bat and turn them into mush sure and then the other would be to reconsider i suppose yeah those are the two yeah those are

the two options yeah you've laid it all out it kind of goes down to kill or be killed i guess bat wise yeah what would you say it was someone who was ruining his life so not necessarily like Also trying to kill me with a bat, but just kind of mucking about. They're trying to ruin his life. Yeah. Maybe poisoning? Yeah, but probably just like talking shit online. Yeah, yeah.

It seems like an escalation. I want to beat someone with a baseball bat. Should I kill Mr. Steal Your Girl? What if this guy's trying to ruin his life by not paying the mob the money he owes? Oh, okay. That's a good point. That's a classic beat someone with a bat situation. Right, right.

It's not right. you're really reaching out to me as a mob aficionado this thread has good answers that's why I just made the cut here Luca says wooden bats go for an ambush attack since they're heavier smash the back of their head

multiple times as hard as possible preferably until it bursts open and make sure you have their your face completely covered and wear thick wool gloves then burn the bat now I would like to interject to say this answer is not done by Orson Scott card but it's the kind of thing that he does like to write on here sometimes can i just say real quick just if we're interrupting to talk

about orson scott card we talked about this on the chapel episode we were on the orson scott card thing and somebody online pointed out that he has he wrote a book recently that's like a retelling of hamlet do you know this oh we all kind of got hamlet on the mind today huh yeah he wrote a book called hamlet hamlet's father and it's a retelling it's a retelling of hamlet where where hamlet is a pedophile who molested all the other characters and turned them gay. Now, you had me at the title, but the

content is actually far better than I would have ever guessed. Orson, come on the show. We gotta talk about this. I think Orson's got card, Mark. Do you know who that is? Who is Orson? Wait, do I know who that is? He's the writer

of Ender's Game, and he's a noted crazy person, and he spends his days in his 80s on quora.com he's like oh that's wonderful one of the few quora celebrities i did email him he has not returned my email yeah well he's not i don't know a lot about shakespeare is that different than hamlet then so he kind of shies away from the pedophile issue that's not okay okay they weren't ready to talk about that back then yeah um but needless to say he was turning everyone all gay down there hamlet's gay pedophile father yeah do you remember that scene where

fortin bras is like honestly pause on everything you're doing and all the revenge you're committing in your inky cloak anyway it's hard to bring you into this mark i know i know i'm way i listen i can't i can do teen wolf i don't know hamlet that's fine just just just so you know what way i know you said i was a strong guest i just so hamlet's father is kind of like the dad and Teen Wolf. Oh, there was incest in Teen Wolf? Did I miss that? Not that I remember, but I would have to watch.

Any excuse to watch this thing again. Anyway, don't kill anyone with a baseball bat. Although if you are going to, there is another half of the answer. Luca does then go on to say, if you prefer aluminum, go for an ambush as well. Strike the face and the eyes when they're on the ground. Go for the sides of the head until they cave in. Follow the same measures as in a wooden bat. You didn't need to write that paragraph.

You know, however, that this will be fairly gory and you're going to see someone's brain matter. I, for one, think brains matter. Thank you, Alex. What's up? It's a wrap. Thank you, Luca. Luca.

So just to be clear, sorry, did they say advise for both wood and aluminum to go with the ambush? There was no one that you want to engage with like a sword fight. There's no bat that that's the magic trick. The aluminum paragraph was you're still going for an ambush and still hit them in the head. and actually all the same advice as the wooden bat. Which doesn't make sense because part of his advice

was to burn the bat. Oh, there's the difference, huh? Oh. You're going to have to melt. Do they say anything about, do you melt it? It doesn't say. Just chuck it into the woods at least? I put it in the sea probably.

Sure. Or you could just clean it. Yeah, just clean it. Yeah, just clean it good. Just put some alcohol on that or something. You know what's the foolproof plan? I would float it to the sea, and then I would tape a note to it that just said,

used for baseball. No one's going to think anything weird happened. I would write regular bat on the side. Carve it in like Wonder Boy on the natural bat. Normal bat. One respondent, Chris Evans, who's a student, says don't and that if they're trying to ruin your life, actually beating them with a bat is all part of their plan.

Is this from Captain America? Oh. Chris Evans? It's a pretty uncommon name. Yeah. He studied stupidity and lives in Texas? It's probably the actor. right it was a big picture of jack daniels as a zappy the actor chris evans from snowpiercer

um okay let's let's read more because we we have a lot of questions to go that one did solve the bat thing uh okay what does a lifetime's worth of combat knowledge mean lifetime's worth there's one answer on this this one's um poetic that one answer is from this guy named Joe Lawson, and it says, I'd say that it suggests a person with a real drive to survive while succeeding at his goal and who has high killing skills. In other words, someone to not mess with

but cultivate as a friend. Was that what you were going to say, Mark, before I cut you off? More or less. Yeah, cultivate as a friend. Yeah, I was going to say that. You probably want to cultivate as a friend. Do you know anyone who has a lifetime of combat knowledge? And also, you have to succeed at goal if you have

a lifetime of combat knowledge. That's one thing that you cannot avoid. do you know what i mean because if you have a lifetime of combat knowledge you're in combat you cannot fail at your goal yeah you will be slain that's so true especially if it's a combat goal are you true lifetime will be over are you triggered by this base knowledge that we're dropping in this episode because this episode is only for warriors as well yeah um this is where your exclusive episode this is hall of warriors it's a hall it's for people who want to be a warrior learn more about warriors or are currently a warrior and yes and you're succeeding

at your goals and if you hate war get the fuck out of here the hell out all right next question why didn't muhammad ali news nunchaku this would be so based so that's like nunchucks yeah nunchaku i don't know one is that one nunchuck yeah how does that work nunchuck no um so the the thing about um japanese words in uh when you take them in english is that they like literally like write out the way that they're said and so it's the same we're saying the same word but uh why didn't he use them is the question um do we all remember what a nunchaku is yeah it's like the two you got two of those bad boys and they're connected by a chain they're like little bad two cylinders yeah they're two cylinder and somebody have questions about the shape

don't the rules of boxing just clearly forbid that kind of thing that could be the main reason that's what i have to think that's in there um i maybe this is implied outside of the ring oh like do we know do we know he never used them on anyone i have i want to answer this without using google i think that i think that the boxing should do like an event like once a year where everyone gets to have one weapon a no rules match wrestling does this yeah we're because wouldn't it be fun to watch muhammad ali have nunchucks i think it would be just going going uh i don't know everyone gets one ninja turtle weapon i think all of your favorite boxers would probably live around 10 years shorter on average but it would be worth it from an entertainment perspective

i don't think you should do turtles though because then no you start talking swords and yeah that's what i'm saying you gotta keep it blunt weapons just for the longevity of the I kind of want to see Mike Tyson with a fucking katana. The thing is, the blunt weapons are still going to... Mike Tyson can have a baseball bat, wooden or aluminum, his call. Okay, yeah, fair enough. Just think about it. Like, Mike Tyson hits you with a wooden baseball bat,

you might as well be getting stabbed with a sword. Your head explodes. Only if it's aluminum. If it's wooden, pretty clean. Pretty clean. If you take a wooden baseball bat and just put a boxing glove on the end, it's fine, right? It's basically a pillow.

it protects the bat and it's hilarious it is pretty funny yeah that's good to laugh at uh there are only a few answers on this one one of them says uh adrian not says because he couldn't hide them in his boxing shorts however he can often concealed kung fu stars in his gloves and killed many opponents with their poison tips time wasting troll oh so that was a joke yeah he's mad oh okay and another guy says what i do like it when they say that when they say what it's the questions website you could say that on anything it's a good answer to any question what what yeah repeat that i wasn't listening that's a funny thing to write the answer to any quora question i wasn't listening i didn't read that uh okay let's move on to forbidden knowledge okay let's

get out of that kind of cleanse our minds is this one with the funny answer alex is that what this is um what is this oh this is just an interesting uh question actually it's forbidden knowledge okay the unknown the cosmic welcome to chorus forbidden knowledge this is in street survival this is a post after a concentrated study of martial arts over the past few days i have an awakening twice this morning it has become apparent to me that we have all been misled and have misled ourselves about foundational assumptions regarding the whole of martial arts the limited text and format ability here makes it difficult to to impossible for me to address here can i produce some document about why i'm talking about and provide a link to it here for it to be

debated i also welcome ideas are or alternatives to do same or similar alex what did where did you find this oh did neo write this at the beginning of the matrix yeah he's typing something and then the programs come after yeah just think about everything you know about martial art is a false also to be clear this is in the street survival quora which sub quora which is um learn how to be safe and prepared no matter where you are in any city or slum the question is can i produce some document about what i am talking about yes i don't know you tell me you're going ahead right then you can answer you can just write like yeah dude nobody wants to explore what could be wrong with martial arts that we all don't know so this is by a guy named sidewinder is it just that you

don't use feet and sidewinder is has his own space called you guessed it sidewinder fighting style oh hell yes dog he did he produced document his whole bio is survivor i wonder how he fights what's the old no me too well click on hold on we're gonna read his bio first his photo is a snake his bio says several serious attempts on my life and defending against many other assorted attacks started from about third grade on first attempt on my life none were successful no training available just did my own thing out of necessity on his harry potter shit dude it came for me as a baby they put the curse on me as a baby i have to know his fighting style uh he's a big guy he says okay so get big he says bear mode

How do you fight sumo wrestler sized people Like for real Like for real Not joking around this time The rest of that question is Usually you are stuck in a room with them And once they grab you Even if you're strong

They can destroy you Don't let them grab you with their big arms I'd say Sidewinder says go for the legs first And or focus on the eyes It's just Sidewinder Have you seen their legs they're huge don't let him get you that's my best advice

um did you go on the space no i'm just reading his answer for uh why what do you say to people who claim violence is always wrong and he was like first of all you're an idiot i got a lot of ideas just even god did violence oh all right yeah he made that scene what i've seen all right I'm in Sidewinder fighting style. Finally. Sidewinder proposed martial arts. You've been thinking about it all wrong. You've got to bring a gun.

How I killed a third grader. That has to be what he means, right? It's just like it's all about gun. Original intent slash purpose. You've been doing it all wrong, guys. Originally to be the ideal defense form for an old man or woman to give the best chance to be able to defend themselves against two to four opponents.

If you survive, you will grow old. that's so many opponents two to four what did I do two three four doesn't matter this is so fucking long dude okay

styles applied imperial snake asp kung fu masters are experts on high speed bobbing weaving and evasive maneuvers imperial leopard kung fu oh that's good these are all different things weapons

short whip or whip belt electric stun cane okay okay now that's an innovative that's an innovative idea an old woman is gonna use these to defeat two to four opponents an electric whip sorry expanding baton solid end or spring mini blow guns blinding or other powders these are his weapons that he uses in sidewinder fighting style you gotta use fucking just use a cane um in what fight are you gonna produce a blow gun get it ready you have it up your sleeve get a clean shot okay now hold on basic rules

these are good rules basic rules this style either only uses joint locks or grappling momentarily or not at all holds give the enemy time and opportunity to strike behavior feigning misdirection deception evasion certain magic tricks oh my god this is big money cb guy he did not bury magic tricks after jabbing and fainting why do we learn the magic tricks you're gonna want to work the speed bag and then again get on your harry potter so then he's blow fire at them he says hypnotic slash psychological and that's blank so that's not involved and then he says appearance sound and movement gorilla tactics ninja tactics eddie dirty how's gorilla spelled it's spelled correctly unfortunately i didn't

know if that was part of the magic um a keep talking about leopards and shit i thought maybe yeah around like a fucking gorilla you're gonna have to offer me like a strong reason not to just read this for the rest of the episode there's so much a key point to this form is to focus on certain concepts one being that there is a world of difference between the first opponent and all other opponents. The first attack against the first opponent is key. Attack the offending hand slash arm slash foot slash leg directly. Intercept kicks

and strikes to paralyze or disable limbs. Okay. Paralyze spelled insanely. How is it? P-A-R-Y L-I-Z-E Paralyze. Paralyze. That's part of his affectation. At which point your assailant will be

paralyzed. Paralyzed. Right in their limbs Skipping ahead a little bit To throws He says throws are a paradox Dude this guy's so anti-throw It's crazy Yeah he hates throws

This post made by Strike Gang Throw cells stay bad He was trying to do a magic trick And he's like I don't know I don't know what happened Good luck throwing me When your arms are paralyzed He has so many posts in here

It's crazy they're so long how many people are in this can we seven seven no sorry three three followers you got four now follow slam that but in there dude i am gonna be so deadly later he lives in western united states yeah and all of his pictures are of the desert so you know like when you're in the sahara or whatever or what's the american sahara the street i really want to see if he talks about the magic tricks he does realizations and study change the name of the space and concept this cannot be called or even really linked to kung fu so i do not want to just use that name out of respect sorry what were you

saying mark i'm sorry just yeah just the way he just kind of mentioned magic and doesn't like act like he didn't just mention magic is pretty wild i don't want to talk about that right now It's just wild to be like Yeah a little bit of magic But also you can't do the wrist lock The magic what's going on I don't want to get hung up on the magic So we'll talk about that later

Those are some of the powders He throws them on the ground And then he uses those to disappear Smoke bomb He has an about me I am 58 years old going on 25 What does that mean Sidewinder

I have no idea what to picture now He says I was born different Raised different Determined to be different I am what I would call A pseudo savant Does that mean that he's not a savant? No he's a fake out savant

Right on the line He explains it though He says meaning I have multiple talents Not necessarily miracles And I have no handicaps Wait wait Not necessarily miracles

This is unholy magic that I'm doing. This is dark magic only. I am unnaturally healthy for no discernible reason, as until very recently I did nothing to take care of myself, had a terrible diet, and never exercised beyond basic minimal manual labor. Manually, he says. It's probably all those guys trying to kill you, man.

You're getting great work out of that. Right. Yeah, you've been running for your life. This is... That's a track. This is Steven Seagal, right? Yeah. when you first the thought about growing up was like this does just feel like a certain kind of a

they don't really make this kind of action movie anymore but like that like yeah they should learn different they should he's different and so what was it we we first learned about this guy because he what he's like he had a revelation he just woke up in a cold sweat was like kung fu's all wrong yeah yeah he's the one who was like can i post documents he had document but he didn't know if he could post it here and that's when the space got invented i would assume this is two years old this space these are the documents he says yet i can go into any gym get on their back exercising machine and take the whole stack of weights like it's nothing usually approaching 300 pounds that's a that's a lot for a back exercise you don't believe me right i have two videos from two

gyms taken by two different people one a united methodist pastor of known and impeccable reputation as witnesses who recorded me doing this a few days ago for my baseline, like the before picture. I did this while in the worst and weakest conditions in years. What if I actually started taking care of myself, eating better, working out,

et cetera? You're a good pastor. I know a lot of you are listening thinking, I could probably take out Sidewinder. I'll take his back. I'll sneak up on him and take his back. No big deal. It's not safe from any angle. Please just

leave him alone. Listen to me. I am a pastor. I am a very reputable pastor. Guys, do you think if I was rolling up on Sidewinder from behind with a baseball bat, do I stand a chance? No. I don't know. Maybe if you could burn it afterwards. The whole stack

is the weakest point of his life, Mark. The bat just breaks. This is like mid-COVID. He's doing the stack. Is this mid-COVID? This was also written two years ago, so that's when this would all come out. He says, when I was growing up, there was an abundance of rounded granite boulders,

and I got into picking up the biggest one. Are you a 90s kid? I could, and smashing against another to try and break it. This exercise outperforms any gym. When you do this, everything from the tips of the fingers to the tips of the toes is strained. What's he doing with the boulders? He's picking them up and throwing them. Oh, okay.

He's playing boulders outside. Sidewinder, come in from the boulders Sidewinder Sidewinder I'm made steel to eat Stop playing boulders out there We've got a stew of the bones of your enemies They're coming to kill you again

He's in third grade when this happens Your enemies are here If you want to kill them I've got your powders i don't want to see you leave the school until you do the whole stack on the back machine which gym do we hit today and freak out uh he also said call the pastor call the pastor he says aside from my already unique physiology this additionally set me up for life and is one of the reasons why i'm able to do such things

i'm starting from nothing have nothing no viable options for proper training and knowing very little having to create a relatively new martial art in its focus. In addition to that, it may be unavoidable that this form may have to be divided into two forms. Whoa! The original intent is a form designed for older people. However, most old people are not built like a football player with unusual health, vigor, size, and strength.

Well, I mean, football players have unusual health, vigor, size, and strength. It's kind of redundant that way. It would be less logical to ignore the types of forms that are better for my actual build and physiology. It's really selfless of him to design an old people fighting style, seeing as he's like an Olympian or whatever. He says, I've been able to reconcile this on twin forms.

One, the original leopard-slash-asp-sass-mantis-kung-fu form, and the form more fitting for my physiology, which would be more like tiger-slash-cobra-slash-mantis-kung-fu. I have quite a challenge. And that's the end of the post. That's quite a challenge, Sidewinder. This feels like the kind of message you find in a video game. You know what I mean?

I want to change my whole life now. I don't really know in what direction, but whatever I'm doing is wrong. Do you think you're more of a tiger slash cobra slash mantis kung fu guy, Alex? Yeah, if I'm being true to my body. Your unique physiology? When I play Boulder, I often feel that way. um i'm so interested as to the like who the other people are on the space do you think it's like his family it's just him there's no there's two other people there's us we're a quarter we can see the

four followers there's david barnwell ms of computer science yeah there's john gene patrick do create oh yeah so some patient guy jonito la hay uh-huh he's a self-defense assistant instructor see that makes sense you want to be here if you're we're still ceo of gilf of the week i don't know if we want to change that that's all right okay that's fine and then the one contributor of course is sidewinder who else would it be baby who is a survivor the king baby can we is he talking is he trying to teach his like does he do like a class or anything or is he doing instagram lives or something i would love to find out you do zoom lessons okay can we find like more social

media for this guy because I want to like follow him on other apps he's also two years stronger if we find him yeah or he's dead someone killed him well I don't think that's very likely as he's actually been developing a fighting style specifically for

old men you should get better at it as time goes on really I followed him I followed him you think when he gets in a fight does he like you just seem like changing fighting stances like in a Mortal Kombat game or something depending on which one no joke he so he's like pretty active on quora he last uh voted something on tuesday we should reach out to him and like interview him okay right like we should genuinely

try to speak to this guy i am afraid that he'll kill us out of line that he will come and kill us that he would come and kill us with his deadly hands that's like probably the main thing i'm trying to avoid with this podcast is being murdered in a home invasion yeah so there's always that but i would learn a lot yeah so i guess we'll we'll come back on this all right we'll think about it we'll think but so happy you can ask him questions through the website maybe yeah that's true yeah maybe we just do some like quora questions with him we can ask to contribute to his base and make up some stuff yeah all right let's let's um read some more questions we're moving on from Sidewinder

we're going into Core Romance we're still in the Hall of Wonders can you find love oh you know what this is a reddit that's why we couldn't find this it's on reddit did you perform that segment live yeah Alex played that

that's awesome it's a series of string instruments well we can't read a reddit question no that would be wrong right that's for the patreon feed patreon.com slash core raiders we read all of the other websites there are so sad because it's a really good one well we'll just read it later i would say roughly in one hour when we do that if i had to pick a random time yeah i think it was money if you want to hear it or steal it which is nearly impossible to do it's an iron wall of content it cannot be broken into all right well here's a question that we can all

answer as married men what is the difference between marital law and martial law okay folks mic drop is there a difference who oh that's why it's called that sometimes i come home from the office and it feels like the uh the the generalissimo is putting a gun to my head and asking what secrets i know mark you uh you married man i am yes yeah you ever uh been forced to dig your own grave mark i buy my wife specifically or it's just whatever it is funny to imagine actually them being the same where it's like your wife is like taking your gun away no no you cannot rise up against me

democracy is over um the answers on this are all what you'd expect them to be it's people being like they're the same women are think about it to me david david and adam go says martial law is law made by the military or in most cases a military dictator to govern govern uh civilians while marital law is law governing a marriage or in most cases it's laws made by the dictator and commander of the marriage, the wife, to govern the relationship. Some men prefer martial law to marital law. David M. Mgombo has got your ass on this one.

Here's what I want to know. Tell me if you can find one of these in the answers. Please. Is there any women who are there complaining about men? Because this seems like a real dog's house kind of situation where the fellas are together complaining about wives. Sure, the boys. yeah viviana says you face torture breaking one and prison breaking the other that's a good point

viviana thank you i don't know thank you for writing it i guess okay that's what she's saying okay if you break the face torture and it hit me weird yeah me too me too i read it wrong it's my fault okay that's jeremy one involves face torture yeah no she's saying if you break martial law you face torture and if you break marital law you face prison that's not true isn't it there's probably some somewhere you wouldn't somewhere you wouldn't know right or i don't know what in like saudi arabia or something i guess if you break marital law you could go to prison yeah religious state when you said face torture i was specifically thinking of yeah me too

Alien from Alien. Me too. Think about that face torture. Face torture. Or they like snip your nose off. All right, let's move on because this question, I'm so sad that we can't read that Reddit. I'm going to fucking kill myself.

Let's read, let's do Quora MD. Please. All right, these are our medical questions. Where did I put this one? Welcome to Quora MD. Mark, you worked in a hospital, right? You have some surgery with us. I was a surgeon.

But weren't you the catch-me-if-you-can-style surgeon where you made it up the whole time and then you had to do surgeries? About 90 minutes, all said and done. Yeah, it was great. I got in there, I scrubbed up. It was this guy, and I got the hell out of there. No, I was a transporter at a hospital for a while.

Oh, it was like Jason Statham. I was about to say Jason Statham because I'm an idiot. Did you see him while you were there? no i was in lansing michigan is that we didn't really get jason statham didn't pop in it would have been a funny promotional thing though like if you worked a day god put on this thing so that your balls don't get x-rayed go fight michigan sports team wear this cloak okay so this is a question that maybe you can answer for us i love the great likes yeah that is our character is of course our famous character

michigan jason statham and seen this is a question that maybe you can answer for us mark what happens if i drill my belly button what someone at some point will probably take you to an x-ray i would think that's the extent of my knowledge it seems so drillable the word drill you mean you're talking a power drill you're talking right this is i think drills are more flexible of a word then you could think because it could be a verb okay well

like what you could get well it is a verb it's always a verb I did think the first thought I had was like what if someone penised you so hard

and now you're like getting drilled in it like the dumb blonde joke or whatever isn't that a famous dumb blonde how do you know a dumb blonde

had sex because they're getting drilled in the belly button that's literally the answer it's because she has a bruise on her belly button why does the guy

get off the hook in that situation in this joke I want to say that the guy is also dumb it was her idea and he's polish this is the rare double joke that's a that's a perfect joke no one is safe when jeremy's in the room not blondes not the polish need i name a third type of person

mostly good cash um yeah you could drill into it with your finger trying to get some lint okay i was thinking with like a power drill yeah the first thing you're gonna think of is a power drill and i do think that is how we have to read it and if you power drill in there well you're gonna be drilling right into the middle of you and that's not where you want to be no no and it seems like you might pull stuff out yeah tangled in there you might not like i don't know it just looks so it's it looks so drillable it's like a kind i feel like this is now going to be an intrusive thought i have like whenever i'm on the subway platform and i have the thought that i'm not depressed but i'm like i should jump in front of this train this i'm now gonna anytime

whenever you're holding a drill yeah i'm gonna be like it looks like it fits it also even kind of looks like a screw could go in there yeah what i'm gonna you know when you have a like a tear open plastic bag and there's a little notch so you know where to start yes that's what the The only button is for the drill. So much. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. It's a fast pace.

It starts out pretty good, actually. Okay. If you're listening, don't do that. But it does seem like you could. And this quarter is asking what happens. Yeah. What happens? It hurts.

I'm sure it hurts. I would probably think, ow. Yeah. Are there any answers? Yeah. There's a bunch, actually. Oh, okay. One of them said, Becca Arrico, who studied surgical procedures and medicine, said, unless

you're talking about a position in women's golf and really mean taking an actual drill to your belly button your skin would start wrapping around the drill point as it turned very rapidly which would probably cause the drill to stop or burn out the electrical socket if it's plugged in this might start a fire inside the wall it would also hurt badly and blood would fly around making a big mess then you would get a really bad infection and need surgery to suture your abdomen abdominal wall and skin back together then someone would have a huge hospital bill if you use a hand drill you wouldn't get very far because of the terrible pain you would feel don't try it what if we don't even know if the fire got put out too yeah i never

thought that there would be a fire in the wall no i was mostly thinking about the blood flying all around she was describing and the flesh caught in the gears yeah i really like that too we have one very uh concise answer from pat taylor who is an owner at pc networking who says you'll bleed out don't do it there is an exclamation point so that's how it's intended to be read another good one here from nobody

who's a pump jockey who says pump jockey blood gets sprayed about by the drill yeah I guess that's what we're all saying yeah but blood gets sprayed about by the drill take it from me I'm a pump jockey

I'm the Polish guy from the joke if you ever if there was a blonde person in poland everyone would be like the prophecy yeah what if in a crazy world it's never happened before what if and we're talking about someone who'd be pretty white in poland yeah of all places yeah i pray it never happens this is an offensive podcast yeah there's no sacred cows except for the Sidewinder style martial art. Should we move on to our final question?

Do we want to talk more about drilling yourself? Sacred cow style. That's an interesting fighting stance. Divine bovine. Divine bovine. We get closer to wrapping every week, folks. Let's go to the quiz

course. This is a good one to do. These are our politics questions. Mark, we're going to make you talk about politics on our show i hope you're ready let's get into it this is when the jokes end and we just discuss the news of today can i ask a question please is there spin in this zone at all everyone's got skin in the game when we're talking about the the election spin is there spin oh spin oh i don't know i was wondering why you said that but i think you said skin because the The last question was about skin.

Is my skin safe? The last question was also about spin, the spin of the drill going down. The spin of the skin. But in the Hall of Warriors, there is no spin, as it is a sacred place of combat knowledge. It's a no-spin zone.

Good. Good. Are Democrats knowledgeable of the warrior archetype? I'm a little afraid to say. I'm a little afraid to say, what if it cost me my job? Who do you think is more knowledgeable, Democrats or Republicans, in the warrior archetype? Of the warrior archetype?

Yeah. I like to think there's not a soul alive who is knowledgeable of it. Who would win in a sword fight? It died off. Yeah. Yeah, that might be true. We need another Civil War so we can find out who knows the warrior's code. There's a movie coming up about this premise.

Oh, my God. You're so right. It's Jesse Plemons is the answer. I think, okay, so if you consider just the military is the warrior archetype, And then you're like, who? I am. The thing is that the question is, it's knowledgeable. It's not, do you like the warrior archetype?

Right. They know of him. And I think we all kind of are knowledgeable of it. What's the archetype? Just like the tactical man? The strong leader? The strong warrior. We don't know it.

We're just like asking people if they saw the movie 300, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The warrior archetype. I hate to be like this, but as three card-carrying Democrats, none of us can name the warrior archetype outside of strong. So maybe that's the answer is no. Topless. Topless is the warrior archetype?

Drill, knot, and belly button. Big. Strong. Oh, we already said that. Damn it. I think the answer has to be no. Yeah, I don't think they are knowledgeable. I don't think Democrats are knowledgeable.

Have you seen 300 recently? no so uh absolutely no i have to i don't know if this is in the original frank miller comic book i watched it two years ago or sometime that's crazy to me i got like shit face to watch it but i made both my brothers throw up i loved it as a child and i feel like if i i don't want to go back and ruin that memory it so the first half of it is so much better than the second half it's insane uh it's the point where like if i was making the movie i would feel really bad about myself uh for how it came out because the first half you get like excited that it's gonna be good and then it's a real letdown.

Do their arrows block out the sun? Well, that does happen in the second half and it is very good. My favorite part is they came out in 2005 and they just write John Kerry into the movie. What? There's a senator who's like, I think we should give up for our enemies

and I rape. He's wearing a shirt that says Democrat on it. He's also played by McNulty from The Wire Oh yes I remember this He's kind of like a sneaky guy Does he have like a shitty beard too? Yeah he's a piece of shit

He's John Kerry He's John Kerry He led that motorboat in Vietnam Yeah what was that about? They thought they were goofing around on boats during the war or something? Yeah they thought they were goofing around on boats I don't know this one Yeah they were goofing around

They were out tubing during the war or something Came home talking about POWs my grandpa fought in korea and he played a lot of basketball i know that i'm very into someone listening to our podcast they're like this is how i get the news do you know john kerry's in 300 after he went out tubing it's not that kind of show folks not that kind of show and especially because democrats are not knowledgeable the warrior i don't think they are um now i strong i they are strong i would like to read the comments but i think there's gonna

be a lot of sass in them yeah okay mark h hansen swanson swanson mark h swanson where did you learn to read i don't know how i got that i think i just like i like i was like looked at it like while in motion and i saw h swanson and read hansen it was a high velocity read mark says definitely yes men women children young and old unfortunately most maga types and other fascists don't realize it because they all understand all they understand is force and violence what finally someone says it what does that mean i really like that as a response to this question because i was worried they were going to be all sassy but it was actually uh it didn't make any sense and then there's a comment on that that says i don't see what your reply has to do with

the question but thanks anyway oh you're welcome will you reply to that what yeah yeah i'm gonna say what dude don't own mark h swanson i said what uh and his credentials are you don't need credentials to have a brain self-educate mark's so cool mark i'm not sure you should have self-educate because this didn't it didn't make a ton of sense not you mark roebuck no i've got mark mark swanson okay benjamin muller says as a democrat i i'm knowledgeable that fascists aren't bulletproof and are almost always more little man complex than warrior preferring to run their mouths and start shit and have others fight the shit they start while they sit back in a nice safe distance running their mouths like putin and his cadre of fat lazy out of shape bozos

and Trump and his cast of fat out-of-shape bozos. I don't see why fat people are taking such a beating in this one. I don't think this person knows the warrior archetype. Which is strong. How dare you? Just stay strong.

Yeah, they do know about it, though, is what he's saying. Yeah, I don't know, though, because I kind of think that the Democrats don't know it. I hate to be like this. I got stuck on that guy's name, but was that was that a muller was it like that that was the muller report that's what it was it was um fat

people are out of control i guess those bozos those bozos his picture is a meme of don draper yeah okay pretty thing guy um drinks a lot paul campbell says sure i'm a democrat and i read a lot many of my favorite characters are in fact honorable warriors note that the word honorable here is important. The cause and ethical code are both as important as fighting skill. Wow. That's a pretty good answer, actually. Are we talking about Jedi now at this point? I don't know Jedi.

Yeah, Jedi are basically... Jedi are like priests. They're kind of the warrior archetype. Jedi are kind of like... Samurai sort of... Yeah, they're like a monk. Warrior monk. Yeah. Thanks for listening to Quarriors. Okay, I don't think we could get any more mired in the monk here. Oh, Sterling Archer's back. Sterling Archer did

answer here. We've read several responses by Sterling Archer. Have you seen Archer, Mark? The animated show Archer? Yeah, he's here. He's in the comments. There's a picture of him. It says his name. And he says... Incredible, incredible. Sterling Archer says, sounds like

some small dick gay. That's period. I can hear it in a new sentence. Ideation that Trumpkins embrace. Wow, you can hear Walter H. Benjamin. yeah walter h benjamin show is that what's going on how dare you make fun of me and call h john

benjamin walter it was a it wasn't a reading issue it was yeah i would like to cut that out but you're editing it and now there's no way everyone wants to listen to walter h benjamin i'm sorry i cut you off mark to yell it out it's it's i'm trying to think of how i can get out of this one the h i got the h you did get the h in there it's if you're gonna have a name that crazy i'm just gonna slide in some words like jonathan what's the h for i don't know hey i have a question and it's funny that's i was gonna ask you this and sterling archer showed up but aside from orson scott carter of any other people that you'd be like surprised to know that i might be surprised to know the big one that we talk about a lot is um is jordan peterson he he's he got his

start on quora and we've mentioned it on most episodes of this podcast but it is fascinating like he genuine okay he started off that was like that was his like that's where he got became famous is that he was his open mic yeah it was essentially yeah yeah he would be the guy in the comments being like democrats don't actually know the warrior archetype right um Or if you've ever bought furniture from Papa's Mountain in Denver, that guy's on here a lot. Yeah, so that guy's, it's Papa's Mountain. I know Papa.

And then Sterling Archer is the other one. The famous ISIS spy. And Sidewinder. Yeah, and Sidewinder. Yeah, and Sterling Archer, he's mostly telling you when things are gay, I guess. And the size of their penis. Yeah.

Okay. Should we call it an episode? This one got off the rails, man. Mark, do you have any questions you'd like to ask? Do you have any questions you want to ask Quora? Oh, like to put on the thing? To put on Quora. To see if anyone answers in the next, I don't know,

four hours when we record our next episode. Yeah, it's got to be good. It's got to be real good. Yeah, it's baseball bat related. Okay. And I've joked about this before, so I don't want you to think this is just a thing that I joked about forever and it stuck with me

but do you think it's possible if you wanted it bad enough and Jeremy you were only because you were joking about suicide before if you wanted it bad enough could you go to the woods and kill yourself with a baseball I feel like this one may upset some people but let's do it I don't want to upset anybody

I just want to know if I could do it it's an important question and I'm putting in the question the part about going to the woods I think that is relevant I'd like it to be in the woods, please. You're giving back to nature. Yeah.

All right, go ahead and slam that and see if I have to make a new account in four hours. Can I add Sidewinder? I'm going to tag Sidewinder. I don't want to get banned from the space. I want to know what Sidewinder thinks specifically. I genuinely tagged him in it. Okay.

All right. Well, that's the show. Mark, thank you so much for coming on to Quoraiders, America's favorite Quora podcast. Where can our listeners find you at home and abroad? uh i uh same all over i have a new website newsletter thing called sketching the elephant you can go to sketching the elephant.com it's a newsletter it'll bug you to sign up for free or otherwise but you can also just click through and just go there and read the shit i write about

old weird absurd dumb video games yep check out sketching the elephant very good um and that's sketching like when you're behind a car and you like uh on a skateboard yeah yeah yeah so it's it's born from a goal in Tony Hawk 4 where you have to hang on to an elephant's tail and zip around the zoo and yeah and my wife and I came up with a really cool logo

and that is now available on a t-shirt and maybe a hat in the near future look at us go kind of like how Teen Wolf rides on a car you can do on a board behind a car that's right if you would like some more of our show we have bonus episodes

every thursday on patreon.com slash quarators where we go on other websites we'll finally read that reddit that did not make the cut today um and we appreciate and love your support so go ahead and do that if you do not have any money feel free to go ahead and sign up for free on patreon or leave us a review on itunes because we read them and they make us full of uh joy yeah and laughs like a child's laughter um also i just want to say real quick that quora did add a um there is help button yeah the bottom of this question that that makes a lot of sense this need help since our question is can you kill yourself with a baseball bat i'm excited to see what it says at the start of next episode use the code word scrambled eggs

all right we're done all right bye goodbye thanks guys goodbye