Quorators - Have You Ever Been In A Fight To The Death w/ Murder Bryan

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Did you know that Hell is not something to joke about? What would happen if you put a baby human in a kangaroo's pouch? In hip hop, what is the difference between "shawty" and "shorty"?  ----- Listen to the Guys podcast wherever podcasts are sold Check out Alex's new kickstarter this holiday season kickstarter.com/theaterofdelights/theater-of-delights-season-6  Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators 

and we're back with quarators here on crack.com home of the fact i'm alex and this is jeremy how's it going what's up uh we're the quarators and we read quora and that's the show also what's up youtube slam that bell yeah this is not our channel i don't care i don't care what you do but also maybe a slim it we got a great guest for you this week all the way from the guys podcast we have the internet's own murder brian brian hey how's it going everybody i'm here i got i love quora it's one of my favorite sources for guys it's a really good place to find guys it's a veritable treasure trove of guys i found a guy there i gotta tell you we're already into it i found a guy there that basically he i was looking for stuff about nudists because i was

doing an episode of naked guys nice and um i found this guy on quora that basically uses every question as an excuse to write like really explicit gay erotica and it is the it is the craziest existence like i like i just don't know why he picked quora as his place to do it we have found a lot of fetish posting on quora we we think it's just people who like for some reason want other people to tell them the porn so they'll be like what would happen if me and my dad accidentally got shirtless and then someone has to be like you're you and your dad would kiss you and your dad would kiss you you have no choice but to kiss i actually have a few stories about this yeah exactly i think the thing i've learned over the almost year of of doing guys is that like we all

pick a website yeah you know and i picked twitter sure and it's hard for me to get off of there and that's just the site i picked i was like i'm gonna focus on twitter all my stuff's gonna go on twitter but people had picked tumblr there's still people using myspace that you know what i mean like everybody picks a website and then they just stick around there so quora is the website a guy picked i i find yelp guys to be extremely weird spending all your time on yelp could you imagine you know about every business when we did the yelp guys episode we found some real true freaks on that episode we found this guy named tony k who he did a ton of reviews in vancouver and so my co-host is from vancouver chris james and he's been to some of these

restaurants so he knows if they're good and this guy is like giving one star reviews to these really good restaurants and every time you go in you read the thing it's like the food was great the service was great but the water was too cold too cold too cold i swear every he did like six one star reviews because the water was too cold one time he even they gave him the display bottle of water wow oh it was too cold he said it was still too cold guaranteed to be tepid and then the other thing that he gets mad about he will give up like i said he'll everything sounds great up until he explains why i give one star and it is always for loud rock and roll music in those words not even like you would think that in 2023 somebody would say loud music he

specifically is like it's loud rock and roll music and i wish they would play something and i swear he uses this word i wish they would play something more bland you'd want to distract from the food yeah you're turning off customers by playing this loud rock and roll they think steven tyler's the wall and when steven tyler's in that's big money now brian uh i just i want to set you up here because i feel like so you you have the guys show which is like your newest project and i'd say you're one of our higher anticipated guests because of the people we normally have in here who are complete chowderheads

who know nothing of culture and the internet, you're probably the only other one who uses Quora regularly. So we wanted to ask you about your experience on Quora so far. I use it for prep too fine because my episode is about guys that are way into one thing, basically.

It's kind of like, you know, we've done wine guys, classic rock guys, chive guys, sex guys, stuff like that. Like guys that are just really into like a specific thing so in order to find i use reddit a lot and i use forums if i can find a forum a lot but if you want to find an expert of a guy quora is where you go because that's where the experts go and they they i love that they have their credentials on there it makes me so because when they have like really good credentials but you can still tell they're

psycho that's like almost a perfect quora thing but yeah i i use it i use it a lot to find experts and really strange things you know like like the nudist episode i used a lot of quora because it was just like first of all why would a person say is my penis too small for the nude beach but then the person that answers is like all guys penises are really small it's not even that big of a deal it's true they're nowhere near the size of a coconut which is pretty big we have a really funny one i don't know where i kept i put it but yeah there was a person that was like yeah men's penises are all small that's just some tv stuff the the main trend i've noticed is uh and i think you're catching on to this is it's a

the go-to hub for people who feel they are an expert and are willing to wear out those accolades in their little profile and that really does attract a lot of law enforcement officers yes and then a lot of people with like half fake doctorates love to just go on here and be like the law doesn't say i can't pop off here i can say hey i want on here it's funny that you're searching for i do have to say and when you're searching for guys you don't want a real phd you definitely want a guy with a fake phd because those are way more interesting guys than guys that like actually did go to school and learn stuff and even then like that doesn't mean those guys aren't freaks yeah do you do any actual posting on do you ever leave a post no i i don't i don't

post on any of the sites that i i i don't i don't post on any of the sites i look at i don't yeah we've no trace reddit because i hate reddit oh yeah it's awful and i wouldn't know what to say to those people i just vote sir that's what you say you sir get an up vote and then uh i had never been on reddit until i started guys and then uh um yeah i go on quora just to i've thought about asking questions to get an answer but i feel like that breaks the uh rules of the show where i'm actually looking for people i guess i don't yeah lazy the thing you said about the phd just did remind me so we always bookend uh every one of our episodes with our own question that we try to get answers for um and they the way that the posting works is you're allowed to tag communities and

people and we've just been tagging jordan peterson yeah we tagged jordan peterson every week uh two or three weeks now he has not gotten back to us we are waiting for dr peterson but there are experts embedded into the bushes here aren't there jeremy they certainly certainly are so uh well let's springboard into the show here and we'll see where we go uh what did we say last our question last week was i'm worried that my son has become anglicized by watching the crown what should i do okay and this we got one answer on it from non-listeners oh and a casual reminder if you are a listener to the show please use the words scrambled eggs in your answer and that way we will know you're pretty cool and we won't make fun of you on we won't dox you like we do at most

people um okay this guy neil says uh if he is then you mean anglicized get these things right if you still wish to figure in his life in a meaningful way you have to understand when this happens there is no going back for him parentheses why would he want to a dire warning from neil caress i like i like uh if you don't know so what i'm researching currently for guys is cable news guys oh and there are so many of those guys in the like a guy i'll just say something i'll be like hey if you're gonna talk about it maybe learn to fucking spell okay it's a there's a real uh hub of just kind of like petulant responders and that's gonna be like one and two out of all of the questions on quora is neil caress a real name is caress a real last name

because i love it i don't think so that is a sexy name c-a-r-e-s-s oh okay yeah i thought it was koresh and i was like oh that's normal i know there's a guy oh that reminds me of my friend david he knows about cricket gardening and grass okay i think he's real 50 years of random yeah that's a guy we have a grass guy we did a lawn guys episode found a whole bunch of lawn guys people love their lawns how do they feel about gnomes uh well some of them did like them i think there's like two different kinds of lawn guys like all all weeds guys are the real fun ones they're like the ones that like everybody's fighting with oh this guy just wants all clover in his yard what the hell is that it's like more sustainable right better for the world yeah but

they think the people that get grass are pathetic yeah i've heard sides are very pathetic yeah i Yeah, I think the people in the grass are pathetic, and it's the clover time, baby. A lot of people are saying so in the grass community. From what I've heard on the Glory News podcast. We're city slickers, so we don't know about this. We don't know about real country stuff. I am, too. I don't have a yard.

Well, I have a yard, but a guy takes care of it. I would never live somewhere where I got to mow my grass, ever. What you got out there? You got clover? Well, actually, my backyard is all weeds. And my front yard is grass. but my backyard all weeds is the deck and all weeds it's very so you kind of got like the mullet you got like the mullet of uh yards business in the front i think the guy doesn't want to mow the

back i think what happens is like the landlord wants the front to have grass probably would be my guess because when people go by and look at it she was very much when she rented us the place talking about the landscaping which is literally just a few flowers and some grass but then when i saw the backyard i was like oh he doesn't want to mow that that's not actually a place he wants to go so uh i can't blame him all weeds is good i'm an all weeds guy i respect them shout out to weeds on natural yeah um well brian the way our show is laid out is uh instead of focusing on one topic at a time which is a a very deliberate way to explore one phenomenon we try to jump around to a bunch of different topics every time.

I used to do that, so I'm into it. It can be turbulent sometimes, but you can find little patterns that kind of tackle everything. And our first segment we're doing today is our incel and manosphere spegment, which is, of course, called the Quoker. That's the Joker, but for Quora.

And it's the Joker, but he's on Quora, and this is the Naruto music, which we own the rights to. Do not look at it. I don't know if you can hear any of the music we're playing, Brian. I can't hear it. I could gear your things on. Brian, it rocks.

It's so good. I believe it. I believe it. You'd love the Naruto theme song. The first song sounded cool, but got through the noise gate. Brian, check out Naruto if you get the time. He's a boy ninja, but he's very plucky. So this is a great launching point for this category.

This is just kind of a flexible category. we put it we jam a lot of stuff in the quoker but this uh prompt really gets to the core of what we're looking at jeremy what's this question this question is have you ever been in a fight to the death anybody this is something i want to know yeah by the way i've not i've only been in a few fights lost every time and what i the way i feel like is i got into a fight the guy beat me up and he felt bad about it and just left and didn't really want to finish me off because as pathetic you're not willing to raise the stakes to um a death level yet most guys aren't we actually just you know it's funny that you bring this up because we just watched a thing on our

stream yesterday of this guy named andy elliott he's a salesperson or he's one of those guys that trains car dealers how to sell sell cars and he has nipple his nipples are always like crazy for juding all the time you cannot find him without his nipples out there but he was just talking about how you shouldn't drink because what if you're at a bar drinking and somebody grabs your wife's ass and then you punch them to death and that was literally like his whole reason why you shouldn't drink and i was like wow this guy's wanting to punch somebody to death drinking lowers your inhibitions so if yeah maybe sober you would only punch them into a coma right a little bit that last edge might push them all the way into the graveyard i had one there against

it now you're gonna die a fight to the death i think you got to define the term by the way because if you and another guy were like we're gonna fight to the death that is way different than fighting to stay alive against somebody who did something so i hope that they follow the rules so fight to the death is agreed upon. Oh, oh, oh, I hear to the death. I picture a stage, cheering crowds, weapons probably. Jason Statham's one of them. Yeah, it's a death match by terms.

So I'm interested to see how many people on Quora have fought in one of these and lived. Sure. I mean, this first guy's got a joke, Robert. So Letourneau, who's an atheist since 2012, says, yes i have it was me versus a small mouth bass i won the bass was in the skillet by the evening he was delicious robert you are too much good you got us get out of here guy um famous tanker sleaze says yes some homicidal serial killer encountered a young 19 year old me

all alone while fishing at a secluded spot both answers have been fishing fishing just for the record if you're listening at home this is mostly all fishing situations he outweighed me a good 100 pounds or more. Maybe he just wanted to rape me. Perhaps he was just a cannibal. What? He lacked manners and was too aggressive for my taste. He really should have initiated... He shouldn't have initiated the violence. This person is talking like we all know what...

I wasn't playing around. It wasn't a fair fight. Because I didn't fight fair. He was too confident in his size and power. I knew I would need a weapon to defeat him. A club fashion from a dead tree stump worked just as well as I needed. I survived and I have no idea about him. Alright, well, at the end he says, I don't even know if he died. So, come on.

Well, I think he did not die because this story is made up. You think it's made up? You think this guy didn't murder a serial killer? I don't think they've even been fishing. That would be fair, though, because if it's a serial killer, you've got to imagine he's definitely down to fight

until the death. Although, you know, they pick victims that are easier for them to kill or whatever. Whatever satisfies their dark god. He is the tree stump. How big is that? I should mention I am an ogre. yeah you would have to pull that out of the ground okay yeah no i think he's lying to crush

a guy's head he's a former construction and roofing expert okay so you got a live body on this one now um some of these may get dark i'm realizing as we get into it a lot of these are people just wait have we read from whiskey jack before i don't know i think we've heard from whiskey jack before i actually do think we have whiskey jack bisexual male like cross-dressing and getting my ass pounded while having a cock forced into my throat. Whiskey Jack!

I really love him twice while in combat getting my face plastered with huge loads of cum and then his picture is him as like a naval officer. It's somebody in the Navy

who is receiving a medal and we have to assume that is Whiskey Jack. They really hide what they're all about. All right, this is from Whiskey Jack. Whiskey Jack,

who loves getting cock forced down his throat, says, after several deployments to active war zones as a U.S. Marine, I have been in more fights to the death

than you could think of, but it's not something i think of or discuss i do not know for what reason you ask this question but whatever importance you think it has forget it focus on the simple pleasures like getting double teamed yeah you want to get fucked you should try getting a cock stuffed in your mouth that's what i do after you survive your third uh fatal encounter you think i gotta just go back to getting plowed on both ends what life is all about not like the fighting what are we even doing here okay that's fascinating yeah thank you whiskey jack i'm gonna follow him yeah that way we know

give him a follow he seems like a good follow yeah i'm looking him up actually good i feel like i need to see his picture now yeah no i mean he seems like an important guy i don't know if it's him or if it's just like a picture from jag but he said that he he was a marine would you lie about that thanks for your no it's illegal to thank you for your service whiskey jack i hope yeah it is illegal it's more frowned upon though i think you may end up in a duel to the death yourself with a true operator there's a veteran's parking space at the grocery store i go to a lot and i always just want to park there and be like how you know they're not checking but then i'm sure so i'm always worried some guy's gonna come up and like give me shit oh you didn't

fucking serve i looked you up or something by your license i found your podcast i used to stand up when they would say when you go to like a baseball game or something and they'd say all the veterans stand up i would stand up to drive my wife crazy sit down did you ever did did you get salutes for that yeah it's great people really look at you different when they think you fought in a war that you didn't fight it that's awesome i was like it's kind of a weird but like it's the most loved i've ever felt in my life i think that's good it's good to steal valor i'm joining the military now you've convinced me why join if you just stand up in the baseball game killed there yeah it's a waste of your time you got to go through it to

enjoy the sex afterwards um anyway any uh other i would like one more harrowing story can i just read a little bit one more about one more whiskey jacket then we must move on all of his answers are like him being like have you ever seen someone get killed he's like i've seen many men die on the battlefields but i try not to think of it and then he answers like what kind of porn do you watch when smoking meth he does i'm i'm yeah this he is definitely a uh that's a a few good men type picture you think so you think it's fake that is the lighting's too good he knows about being a full-time cum dump he's so handsome though anybody would want to get cut oh yeah i'd love to come on his face yeah he seems great for what he's done for this country i love the plaster i love reading

this i love this like uh knows about yeah it's great you look at a guy's thing and it just says bisexuality u.s marine corps sissy cross-dresser feminized male exhibition fetish and then racism in the united states of america hey we all are experts in that we come across the ugly side Right after the racism thing is full-time. And then, of course, this has like where he works and his employment history. This is something that we've run into a lot on guys when we're looking at reviews for swingers clubs. Specifically, we did an episode about sex guys. This is the first episode.

And I noticed that a lot of people were reviewing swingers clubs with the same account. they review Cracker Barrel. So it would be them with their kid standing and they'd be like, I couldn't get any pussy at all at this sex club. Also, the water's too... The water's too cold at Cracker Barrel.

The cum at this sex party was too cold on my face. Let's see. How do you know you're in a vampire sex party? It's always a price thing is the problem at a sex club because they'll put the price on the website and then when the guy shows

up they'll just be like oh it's 90 he's like i thought it was 60 and they're like are you horny yeah the extra 30 dollars it's called the horny taxer that's not kind i know but it does so many of the bad reviews are guys that said i looked it up and said it was 60 when i got there they told me it was 90 and it's like you should have just jerked off before you even left the house Like, you would have never gone if you had just jerked off. That's, like, the big lesson that we talk about a lot, because we also look at a lot of swingers club tours on YouTube, and it's just, like, before you end up there, just jerk off,

and you won't even want to go there, you know? It could be, like, a sex thing to raise the price on somebody that shows dominance. Didn't we read one that was, like, this guy tried to sue a strip club because he found out that he had been, for, like, a year, been buying alcohol for this stripper that he had a crush on, but she's sober and he found out that all of it was just water and he was like do i have a legal do i have a legal ground to sue yeah that was on red feel like the single guys that go to the swingers clubs are like we watched a review uh a tour of a swingers club on youtube tom and bunny

they're great they do tours of all the swingers clubs across the whole nation and uh we were watching one and they said sit this playroom in the back they got these vip playrooms and like if you're a single guy you can only go back there with a couple and then if the couple leaves you have to leave and it's like really funny to think of the guy like being like all right i'm leaving hey your couple left you're out of here carrying his pants out in his hand sorry we tried the rule but the single men cannot be trusted alone back here no they don't want single men at those nothing but trouble i know even like when you think about hedonism too where it's like people have to fly there from all over the world and shit and they're just like please don't come

here if you're a single guy nobody wants you fucking sitting by the pool jerking off okay let's do another question when we read this last one okay you wanted one more this is from thomas mckeon he says i uh and i didn't even realize until i read the newspaper the next day it seems some mobster put a hit on me two bucket-necked goons stuck their guns in my ribs while i was pissing on a wall behind a bar i tied their arms in a knot and fired both of their guns simultaneously they both shot each other six times the newspaper called it a botched hit i called it another night just another night this is an incredible real post yeah thank you thomas McKeon. I think I remember reading about that.

Those two mobsters who had six shots in their sides from that peeing guy. Oh, yeah. We'll have to get him on the podcast. I've definitely seen that guy. He's a rooftop dweller, it says. Alright, let's do another question. Okay, another Quoker question here.

This question is, why am I such a piece of shit and loser? Well, I asked myself that question. What was kind of disturbing about this, somebody sent it in and so I looked it up and there are many similar options. A lot of people

are going on Quora and they're like, why are my socks so fucking bad? The first problem is you're using Quora.com for your answers. They don't know enough about you to get to the bottom of your problems. I'd say it's probably because you don't respect yourself.

Sure. That's a lot of the answers on here. And you forgot where you came from. There are so many possibilities, but one problem I know is you have low self-esteem. Aww. oh bam jeff rose trying to help it's nice that they try to help but there's not a guy saying well unfortunately it's because you're a loser and a piece of shit yeah and it would be so easy too to point out that he didn't say a loser and that he spelled it wrong yeah that would be a

great place to start knocking down the sad man was it looser did he do l-o-o-s-e-r no it's just Why am I such a piece of shit and loser? Oh, okay. That's fine. Someone says, try acting like a man. Try acting a bit toxic. Whatever your you will never be a loser. Just try living, man.

Just try living, man. Try being toxic. All you got to do is be toxic. You don't even have to be a good person. Start being mean around town. That's a guy that got dumped by somebody. That's like a guy that got really fucked over where he's like an asshole all the time. and he's like, oh, fuck it.

And it's like, it's because I'm vulnerable, actually. I got fucked over. Okay, we got a new segment. Let's go on to, this is our, we've never done this before. This is a debut, Brian. Yes. This is just for you. Our new linguistics segment, Quinguistics.

That's the Inception noise. And that's the Inception noise, which we also own the rights to. We made the movie Inception. Okay, this question. One of my favorite films that I've made. This is an interesting question about the English language. In hip-hop, what is the difference between shoddy and shorty? Hmm.

Any thoughts on this? Why in hip-hop? Because shoddy and shorty are two different things outside it. This is shoddy with a W. S-H-A-W-T-Y. Like the shoddy, she want to potty. Oh, you don't have to ask. Come on.

You know what it is. Shoddy. Shorty, you know you bad. It doesn't sound right. I think I'm good at that because I just listen to a bunch of preachers, a bunch of young, what are they called? They basically do the Kings of Comedy bit on stage, but they're white guys, like young pastors. Sure. That sounds pretty good.

If you want to party, you might be a shorty. You might be a shorty. A shorty has a greater term of respect to it, doesn't it? Yeah. I feel like a shorty is your wayward son, whereas a shawty is that girl who don't know what she's doing. Sure. You evolve into a shorty from a shawty. Oh, yes.

Perhaps. It takes a shawty to get a shawty. So a shorty is like when you first meet them, and then it becomes like they kind of shorten it and soften it a bit. Like shawty, after they've seen them, I feel comfortable around you. You're now a shawty. I'd like to bring you into my house. um daria hoover who knows old english that's uh that's impressive cool that's useful shorty nowadays is just some you call a girl when she's short or you play in her when you call her shawty

most of the time it means you're trying to get on it with her and by that i mean go out with her or you're trying to talk that's what we said that is basically what we said no possible way that shorty means like actual height because she's saying like well if you're short they call you yeah that doesn't happen you could be six foot and be a shorty i want to see the movie on a basketball team that would be a way to be called the shorty um yeah some people say there's i want to know if it really is like the actual height instead of the term of endearment then i think that's bullshit constantly for years this other person riley becker says contrary to popular belief a shorty is an objective description of a smaller female whom one would not invest in any

other transaction than sex oh this is a negative depiction of shorty i have not heard of the dark side is your man calling you shorty i had a preacher thing that i looked up on reddit the other day the guy that the guy is like hey i'm wondering what these two words mean and if they're an insult and it said el el bozo and ratio and the guy's like you're being disrespected like everybody in the comments is like trying to explain like no that's not good when they call you a bozo i'm sorry they're telling you to f out of here it says in the comments um should we on that note should we move on to our religion segment yes just dabbling in religion okay this one is our religion segment, Corbett and Fruit.

Nope, that's the police noise. They're right next to each other. It's so hard for me. Okay, this is a great question that is relevant to our podcast. Did you know that hell is not something to joke about? I had not heard this before.

I knew it. I actually don't joke ever about hell. Really? Nope, I don't. I'm so scared to go there. It sounds bad. I'm not like I have a positive view of the place. as a jewish person i feel like i'm always surprised when people are like superstitious about these kinds of things well you're always tempting me too i think it's your fault because

you went to catholic school i'm always trying to like summon a demon on the podcast and you won't let me yeah i find it interesting way uh i always one i like like because i have skeptic brain like it's not cool i'm not saying this like as a cool guy like bill maher who's famously cool it just feels like if you don't believe in god you can't believe in any because i don't believe in god but i also don't believe in ghosts sure demons hell aliens anything i don't fucking believe that there's anything else in the entire universe and i feel like that's a consistent that's kind of what the shorthand is if you say you're an atheist you don't believe any of that stuff you can't you can't possibly believe in any of that stuff because it's crazy you know

and don't tell me a bacteria could be on mars or something like that's not an alien okay i need it to be green or whatever um i guess my question brian on your show have you and this is mostly through tiktok and our clips we've run into this but we lock horns with mobs of christians on here in ways where they by the hundreds of thousands tell us that we're going to die and burn in hell yeah um and there's just like way more active on the internet than i was previously aware of before starting quaraders has that come up for you at all only did the one and it was last we this week's episode is called hip christian guys nice and uh we we did find two guys and goof on them so listen if the fact that we found this guy kelly k who told a story about how he was

the road manager for wang chung a few years ago and a woman tried to get backstage and he wouldn't let her back there you know she was disrespecting him as a christian don't disrespect wang chung as christian it's so good it's so he was like god told me that i should manage wang chung's tour and then tell this whole story but uh that's the only time i've really hit that kind of stuff and people generally i i just think they wouldn't listen i also am very cowardly when i tag stuff instead of tagging at christian i think i tagged in hip christian guys so it would just be the only people looking for it would be looking for it to find my stuff because I hate getting yelled at.

It's like when comedians want to do misogyny now, so they change it to white women. So everybody's like, we're all back on board. Yeah. Now it's anti-racist. Yeah, now we're doing radicalism. We're deconstructing the space. I know there are lots of Christians.

I just thought that when you go online, you put that on a shelf or something. you know everybody's just using newgrounds.com but no they they keep being like that and they're gonna come get me they're crazy too i mean that's the thing is like we haven't gotten in trouble with anybody yet except for the rockabilly guys you got in trouble with the rockabilly guys oh yeah this guy got so mad at us called us a bunch of fucking nerds whoa they didn't know shit because you know we're not out fucking living the rockabilly lifestyle he was so where is this coming from i know i know i thought everybody made fun of rockabilly guys but we have to watch

out he could be yakuza yeah he was so mad the guy was i i've never seen a guy get so mad then he did some research because brace belden was our guest he's like well brace is cool and then he was like but those other two guys were total fucking geeks and the reason he gave for brace being cool was like that he he toured around the country and he did heroin i was like i went to fucking rehab and i've toured around the country as a fucking comedian what the hell dude i'm cool too oh i thought you were gonna say for fighting i said i was gonna say too yeah he's like the only guy i know who's fought isis rockabilly's and isis hate each other yeah they're natural enemies i spent i'm telling you he spent all fucking day it was like a whole and i was like usually i get

bummed out about that kind of stuff but he was so mad about such a small like back when i was doing street fight people got mad about very important stuff to me and i get it you know what i mean because i was talking about much more important stuff i wasn't talking about rockabilly where it's like why are you offended because i made fun of fucking rockabilly but i'm sure i'll get hit by christians because me and tom sexton from trailbillies also do a series called holy boys where we goof on like christian culture i don't know how yeah you're gonna run into this this is gonna be a problem for you i think it's if you do clips yeah christians love clips that's our big issue oh we do a lot of those i gotta tell you i have like i have a really psycho i

have two spreadsheets one of shock jocks and one of christians of like just it's psychotic if you looked at how much how many uh like time stamps i have for those two types of guys that's kind of your bible you're saying yes yes yes the opiate anthony uh the the opiate anthony tab on my uh on my spreadsheet is my bible okay so we do have a one i found a really good one back here so there's a lot of um questions answers on here people who's making fun of the thing but this is a guy who's really mad and i think it's really good oh it's not an atheist no this is a christian clap back which i think makes it better it's about time alan mcdougall who's a born-again christian for nearly 50 years he says still learning to paint a better image go on atheist

mock yourself right into hell if you have looked at the images you will be without excuse on the great day of god's judgment do you lot really think that the likes of adolf hitler just vanished after he committed suicide he did not and is now in hell with the eternal everlasting punishment he rightly deserves you atheists will all stand before a perfect righteous almighty god to give account for every word deed action you've ever done be afraid be very afraid bolded all caps why are you waiting for proof don't you realize the almighty god is using me and then he he says a whole bunch of other shit and then he goes here's my email address alan mcdougall 81 and i do think that we should email him and he goes here's images of paradise and hell and he's got

all these ai generated images of like celebrities wait there's a little happy smiley faces this one is richard dawkins in hell then he has hitler in hell and then jesus and jesus has three arms because he's ai just all these like ai generated tough break for richard dawkins he's in the same situation it's just him and hitler there's so many ai generated things of the devil who's that is that carl sagan it must be oh i'm gonna we have to email this guy yeah we'll send him an email after the show ends what should we say to him um

what's your deal dude that always helps hey i saw your post great post oh why am i hey your posts are fucking weird what's that all

i'm gonna shoot him an email from the coordinator's email okay is that crazy i think you should do it but i'm not sure we have time

okay we'll do it now you go by your personal email just because you know we can't have brian watch you craft an email that's just

all right i just don't know i will email this mad i would want yeah email him let me know what's going on with him too because i'm curious now we'll ccu you know that don't touch the glass thing is sometimes true but other times you got to nudge them in a funny direction i think if you're going to post a bunch of ai generated images of celebrity atheists in hell and then say here's my email address for no reason i will email you okay i have to know what you have to say we just i whenever we look at somebody it's like

please don't say because opie from opie and anthony sure he does his show on tuesday nights at a bar in manhattan oh that's pretty cool brian oh it's really uncool but people always offer to go there and goof on them like don't goof on them we'll stop doing it and we won't have anything to goof on no yeah um but i will email this guy is slightly less prestigious than uh okay send him an email you gotta and maybe you'll get i wonder if i hope he's not he's not ai i hope he doesn't come back with a really weird ai rant like i've been noticing on cnn r sure cnn he seems like a very intense person his spaces are alan mcdougall space alan mcdougall space one alec mcdougall space four what happened alan mcdougall know what i know and no mysteries of existence

philosophy it's important you find out what this guy's talking about going around not knowing we'll explore this behind the paywall he's important maybe get him on the show I would love to talk to him I'm so scared to do something like that never been more scared to do something you know what

it would be pretty funny if someone from Quora comes and kills me it's always good for long form content to get a psycho for a full 75 minutes if someone comes to my house and shoots me in the head it's great for the podcast and you can find a new host and it'll blow up

And I'm going to we're going to do your like funeral on stream. Yeah, why not? Throw it out there. Put it on on Patreon. My co-host interviews weirdos. He does a prank show where he gets like these weird conservative guys on and plays characters and fucks with them, you know, and he had me do one one time. He had this nasty guy. It was like a state representative in Texas that was writing all these anti-trans laws.

and he basically had me and that guy on to talk about uh we were there to talk about uh a presidential candidate and we were talking about what our ideal presidential candidate would be and all of my answers were like sex things like i want to see their fucking penis and we got through like five minutes of it and the guy still didn't hang up he was still trying to do his things and chris had to finally say why are you still here this is like a joke but they're all so desperate yeah they're you know platforms a platform yeah dude yeah maybe his his message will get out to someone in between the sex jokes seriously on youtube not even a show you'll it's very funny he he's pranked a lot uh like you know he's he's got the uh i think he uh he's gotten all

the weird conservative guys that you can think of when one of them hits the news he's made them very uncomfortable he had kevin sorbo on oh wow oh the sorbinator and he was like i he the prank was that kevin sorbo was on this radio show where they do this thing where they have a famous guy on and then the listeners it's a surprise and the listeners get to call and ask him questions and uh all the callers said i don't know who this guy is and kevin sorbo got increasingly more angry through the thing and started saying like have you ever seen hercules come on hercules one of biggest son of zeus that one ringing a bell i was so uncomfortable because i think he sat through like six calls when he hung up and people were like i'm not even really sure who this guy is

what do you do sir and i think he just thought he's probably the famous most famous guy that they make he's he's sort of famous i'm i'll be real with you conflict scares me me too i'm afraid to get go toe-to-toe with kevin sorbo like that exactly that's why i always tell chris that's why i don't help him out that much he he's always like you want you can you can be in on the pranks and i was like i can't even look at them no matter how evil they are i still can't look at them i feel bad it makes me uncomfortable how bad they are at me yes yeah and you're like i don't even care if this guy like you wouldn't normally care if like some old guy that's like trying to ban books and libraries like hate you but when you're looking at them in the face and they're like

80 years old like i'm talking to my fucking grandpa here i was like shaking i had to put a different screen up so i couldn't see yeah there's a real physical reaction it's only for the real heads to go with cyber bully but you guys should get this guy on and say it's for a five minute interview yeah you got five minutes you got a real psycho weird guy and you can post that part for free yeah i would love to expand an interview segment interviewing the crazy people we meet on quora we're here with whiskey jack whiskey jack what's it like getting uh big loads on your face what do you think about cum gutters have you ever killed a man the name of your show works so good that you could say like hey we look at people who are on quora can you answer these

five questions right on an email and then get their answers and then you don't have to face them and then read their and then try to nudge them towards very funny things i like the answer this is the coward's response i want to face them i want to face them in combat and i admire anybody who does that i i just there's people that have given me tried to give me ideas that were the meanest thing i've ever heard of to a guy that's not nice but like uh somebody wanted me and felix biederman to invite man cow to a club in in uh uh chicago and say we were doing a uh thing where we uh are honoring him and then just stand on stage and goof on him and i was like no that's rough doing it in person is rough yeah yeah yeah you should carry man cow

because then also it ends it ends and then like you're just still there with him you know what like on a podcast on zoom at least i could be like all right fuck you bye yeah you should have a motorcycle to escape on yeah and i think that's how chris handles it is like it's really only like two minutes before they leave the room and then the funny thing is is like a lot of times he'll do the interview before me and him do guys and he'll be getting phone calls from some producer from the ben shapiro show and he's gonna sue him well it's so good uh what do we got now um do you want to do this um let's change topics you want to do core md all right this is our medical segment core md these are our medical questions where is a nice place for if you're sick and you want to

know why and maybe someone will answer you in the next few weeks oh yeah sure god this is for really this is the most terrifying thing like i would never ask quora for hey what's this bump on my yeah i don't even want to know what web md says well this one's a pressing medical issue that i think many people have thought of the question is is it common for a younger brother to have a longer penis than his older brother that is a good question though now jeremy and i are both oldest children yeah i i have a sister so i win the longer penis war with my sister i'm older than my brother i haven't asked him about his dick size though i have two brothers and i can only assume that the oldest gets

the longest one. That makes sense. It's a right of inheritance. Yeah. We don't have like castles anymore. Yeah. You should inherit the longer penis. It's just like in the old days what if I needed it? Because I represent the family.

Ask them how big his penis is so we can figure this out. I'm an older one. Maybe when you're creating children the ability to make a penis you run out of it as you go. So each time they just get smaller and smaller. Oh, yeah.

Well, your loads can't provide the same penis size over and over again. That's right. Okay. We only have one answer on this. That's surprising. Bradley Carlson, who former works at National Football League. Oh, cool. He's got a pretty long answer here.

He says. What could she be doing? Is there a way to find out what she did for the NFL? She picked the quarterbacks, it says. Really? Oh, I made that up. That's a good job. She's an engineer, problem solver, data scientist, data science and ML person.

So she's a Marxist. Yeah, that's where my brain also goes. And she uses the immortal science to pick the football players. I can't figure out all the quarterback. The teams don't pick them. There's this one woman there that's like, you go to the Patriots, you go to the let her do her thing. I actually like that more than the way they do it. The way they do it is kind of slave

owner-y. Actually, it would be cool if there's one that does quarterbacks, one that does linebackers so that you're in charge of one person, you're in charge of that position through the whole league and every year you just get to pick them. I like that. It's meritocracy.

I'm pitching that somewhere. I'm pitching that to somebody. To the NFL. I'm going from football league to football league. There's only a few. Okay, so back to this longest penis thing, please. Bradley says it's no more common than for an older brother to have a longer penis than his younger brother. It's about 50-50 when there's a difference.

Be careful. Use unknown oil or wrong method can make your penis look bad and affect your health seriously. For a person who wants to enlarge your penis naturally, you should check this tutorial. My boyfriend got great results with it. He started at 7 inches and 4 inches in girth. He's now starting to pass the 8th inch and 5 inch girth marks. Congratulations. Within 26 days just by following that exercises.

He also has stronger erections. I'm so happy about it. See, this is why you've got to play the tutorial. Because it's going to increase your girth. Although they share the same parents, every individual has a unique combination of DNA. Chances are best that the erect penis length will be about the same, just as chances are good that they will be about the same. What is this answer?

Can I just say in Elden Ring, they don't even show you where the penis lengthening tutorial is. You're just supposed to kind of intuit it. Yeah, right at the beginning, you just get killed by a giant penis. All right, now Jeremy has followed the link here. It's a broken link. well there's a big hog you guys can't keep their websites running no it's a big cgi penis photo but it doesn't say it's coming right at me i can click this but i'm worried i'm gonna get you like a fucking yeah please stop clicking things sorry sorry this is my request to you

on my computer all right fine um i think we've answered enough of that question like maybe my younger brother's penis is bigger than me i'm happy for him yeah that's like the most mature way i could think of to see that that's so mature i could tell that you've done years of therapy to have gotten to the point where you're happy that your younger brother may have a larger penis um all right well that's enough of that question that's enough uh let's do um our animal segment quora gone wild this is a great question um this one is is there anywhere in the world where i can legally use explosives to hunt wild animals probably alaska i just got back from there they do all kinds of

crazy so i would hope no i feel like even in alaska it might be illegal but it's like who's gonna say no there's no one there there are areas of the world that are carved out for rich people to do their debauched experiments and uh i would say alaska like uh like deprived areas of uh rural continents um and then you can probably go hunting with all of the weapons in um new horizon zero dawn fairbanks alaska there is not a lot to do i was just there for an entire week and uh kind of an explosive hunting culture there is everybody hunts every store there is just a place to sell carhartt and shotguns and stuff like that we went to see the aurora so it was just kind of uh trying to find stuff to do for the six hours of sunlight you didn't throw a

grenade at a bear yeah did you try to shoot the aurora think about fishing which i guess you could blow up some fish i've heard of that that's something people do i thought that is that's the one i have heard of really i think fish are um they're just out of sight enough where it's like yeah you can throw a grenade at them you're also raised to believe they're for some reason they're the dumbest animals people are just like fish don't have real brains you can eat them all day they have no pain and then every now and then people are like actually they do have pain and i'm like huh i can't get over the fact that uh i was told as a child if you put a hook through a fish's face the fish doesn't even know what's happening they like that and you're watching it

like it looks like it hates it yeah it's like no no that's just nerves no no they want it they want it pulled every now and then it'll come out like you know someone be like study fish actually hate all that and you're like huh i guess yeah that does check out the fish are podcasting they're just like you i love the idea like i do like that listen i feel guilty about eating a fucking thing okay uh so they don't have feelings actually these things they can't feel pain at all they're impervious to it and killing them is actually doing them a favor um i'm seeing people say no uh although when wild pig populations get out of control sometimes people rig up bombs in the middle of a feed pile and shoot it with a rifle what you know when you say people i've

never done this i don't think that that's i have never shot a red explosive barrel like it's fucking with my shotgun like yeah it's a monster kill a group of pigs that is like an overkill they're saying that they put a bomb somewhere and then when the pigs get close to it they shoot the bomb like John Wick? Yeah, video game rules. Nobody does that. He says, go to YouTube and search for feral hog hunting with Tannerite

and make some popcorn so you can enjoy some frankly awesome and hilarious video. I'm looking right now. I'm not going to do that. I will not be doing that. I did. That was fun to watch. Thank you. Oh, Thermite they said? Tannerite.

I'm not sure what that is. Thermite is what they use on the World Trade Center. Everyone's just watching The pig explosive hour on YouTube I don't like that No that's pretty fucked up Oh they do This video has 42,000 views

Oh god we're not even doing as well As the pig explosive guys I mean it does sound more interesting Than our show for sure I mean you know I love what we do here But it's nowhere near hunting pigs with bombs Pig bombs Killing pigs with bombs

I think it's more moral. Eat the fucking thing. I know, but you can't even... Can you eat it once you've blown it up? I mean, you can get whatever... It's already cooked. Yeah, right? Put some spices on the bomb instead of shrapnel.

The spice grenade. Oh, yeah, spice grenade. How about that? How about that? Killing spree. I'm trying to think of what would be the best bomb to use. As far as I can tell, it's legal everywhere. Yeah, actually, it's fine, and you can put it on YouTube.

Try it. your house get a grenade i fucking believe that it is legal everywhere i'm uh slightly upset now yeah that's let's keep reading this question is what would happen if you put a baby human in a kangaroo's pouch now there's a question that's a nice i heard it slimy in there people think that like the kangaroo's pouch is furry yeah and you like reach in there and it's like a good feeling it's not a hoodie it's not a sweatshirt well it's an animal yeah it feels like fleece people think it feels like fleece but it actually is uh uh slimy in there it's like it's crawling into a womb and would it be nice sure it would all love to go back there you stick

your little head out and you go for a ride they don't people i do people think that well see i'm asking people when i really mean me people think that kangaroos keep things in their pouch like i do keep a joey it's like a nice little pocket but i'm saying that i'm not a guy i i don't know anything about animals and i think up until just now i assume they did put things in their pouch that aren't their kids yeah why not very wrong lighters sure their wallet yeah well like sticks and bugs or whatever they eat you know what i mean like drop some bugs in the pocket so they don't have to carry them in their hands i don't know they check before they leave the house like phone wallet sticks bugs bugs all right we're good sticks and bugs are two things they might

never need i don't know i don't know you gotta be so susceptible to disease with a big open inside of your body pouch yeah that's not good jesus that's why they're so willing to box you like they're willing to whip your ass you know um do i need to get a charger for your computer real quick alex i got it all right cool you mind what the computer needs i'll i'll read one of these answers while you get a charger it says uh the female kangaroo has muscles that she can contract to tighten the pouch or relax to dump her joey out presumably she would relax her pouch to dump the baby human out also kangaroos are strong so the mother would probably beat you up that's kind of a cheating answer to what would happen it would be the animals that people are always like

actually they're tough and it's kangaroos and uh um giraffes kangaroos are jacked too like they're not even they're not so much like tough like giraffes are just big but kangaroos just look like strong australian men yeah and they do that thing where they put their hands down and kick you yeah that thing can fuck you up i've seen them do it there's i i used to love watching videos of kangaroos kicking kids and stuff like that i don't watch that kind of stuff now but i did for a period of time like have you guys seen the giraffes like wallop each other with their big fucking heads because they do that actually like yeah swing their fucking big ass neck at each other so like uh yeah those are the two animals i always heard are actually very tough

this is why i always have tnt on me i actually recently just found a channel where people blow up pigs with grenades i'm gonna watch that later um yeah every time i see a picture of a kangaroo it just looks like a frat guy who's mad at me hey if you're watching this show by the way and you go to the pigs grenades channel at least downvote yeah don't encourage them leave a comment that says fake it'll keep people from sticking around this isn't real fake and cringe and fake that's activism if you go there and write fake under it um i like this answer peter fox who works at milk production at milky pleasure dairy co from 2003 to present says it would be absorbed into the kangaroo and digested most kangaroos only accept babies of the road kinds milky pleasure is worse

than the guy that was like really into cummins milky pleasure well he must know a lot about kangaroos from that answer yeah it would be absorbed like an alien to answer your question probably a candy bar or something like australians will put the word milk like dairy milk sound like a good candy bar at all no that's nasty you want a milky pleasure me and my wife just watched this thing on uh about australians and it's actually very serious is about a a ride that caught on fire and killed a bunch of kids and that part's bad but when they're talking about who did it uh one of the a bunch of the guys saw some bikies close there so now we found out that they call biker gangs bikies oh no in australia and it doesn't sound

as tough yeah you say bike sweet well you think the bikies killed all those children yeah if you're a listener from australia we think your voice is dumb we think it's silly and your toilet flushes the wrong way i also uh south africa i often say clt africa like uh that sounds exactly like them i can't say any other words but clt africa yeah it's like i'm there it's uncanny all right uh let's end with a a good one i don't know how many more this person horse girl wrote just a death and then posted like a kangaroo like a sexy pose just a casual kangaroo you want to date all right we got we got one more this is our romance segment core romance passion questions this one doesn't have answers although i see one what's more of a prompt

Are girls more attracted to dudes who Vope or Jesus Christ Dudes who vape or smoke weed Why did I say vope Jeremy is fired now Because he can't read the word vape Vope

What's the past of voping We're attracted to guys Catholics love the vope I voped Not me Earlier Except Jeremy I don't think that he has the word of God

I don't think there's any radio signals in that hat i don't think women are into guys that smoke a lot of weed i'm just want to say that like uh some of them are for sure because there's a lot of women that are super into weed but i don't think this person's premise is very uh well the question is is it vape or smoke weed right so that you can decide which one you're gonna do and they're pretty similar well they're pretty different jeremy well there is one answer here from dolly farton who uh their credential is the highest in bad bitchology and busting hoes bfb university okay and dolly says irrelevant it's the size of the ding dong that counts so dolly thank you upvote for dolly that's what i've

been trying to get to thanks dolly is the ding dong the thing that means anything uh it's that nine to five inches ding dong uh good ding dong um anything else to say about vaping oh god yeah we haven't come to a decision at all there's a lot more to say about it what do you think alex are girls more attracted to vapor smoke weed so it as brian was saying does depend on the rusticness of the woman involved and if she's down with the flames like that uh but i think a vape is a more cosmopolitan woman who's looking for someone who maybe could work in an office okay and if you're looking for a weed smoking boyfriend you're probably at the skate park okay i i can see that so this is it

curtails your target sure vaping is the business of weed vaping is the business of weed that i couldn't have said it better myself uh do you have strong opinions on vapes brian i mean i i don't vape anymore or smoke weed i think you should go to edibles we're all going to edibles now we wouldn't do anything else we're bringing the girls but i do not think women yes again there are certain women probably who are like oh i like a guy that smokes a lot of weed but i don't know if that's high on the list or vapes a lot of weed is very high on the list of uh good things for a mate but again i don't know i've been with the same woman since i was 19 and uh she seems to think it's cool that i smoke weed maybe that's pretty cool i asked my good friend dolly farton

she said it's the size of the ding dong that counts it's important that is the more and if you're younger brother you're really in trouble with the size of the ding dong you have no claim to your inheritance that's right i have the eldest boy um all right let's ask a quora and call it an episode please and then we'll email that guy please email him brian do you have a question you would like to ask quora i know that you don't normally go on here to ask but now that you have the opportunity is there anything you'd like to ask the wonderful website quora.com i'm sure there is i didn't really even think about it now oh man there's so many questions i would think of at any other given time i mean

the the thing that we talk about the most let's see like we're gonna we can do a sex guy a nudist thing sure nice maybe something from like a uh some etiquette question for a new okay that's a great one resort yeah is it okay to wear flip-flops at a nudist yes good question that's actually a good question because i'm going to tell you something about hedonism too if you go over to the nude side and he knows them too you're not even allowed to wear fetish gear so you should ask them if you're allowed to wear fetish gear at the nude beach because that's an interesting because i've been made to understand that you're not even supposed to have piercings there wow no piercings it draws the eye you know it like um it might give somebody a hard on that like a lot of

the questions on quora about nudist places is about what you do if you get a hard on most of The answers are run into the ocean. It's funny that you found nudists on here, because one of the things that we found was guys who have a fetish for swimming in clothes, which is the opposite. It couldn't be more different. We found a whole community for people

who take photos of themselves swimming in all their clothes, and it 100% seemed like they were all jacking off. And they try to make it seem like it's an accident, but we know you did that on purpose. It was a lot of like, look at all the... I took 20 photos of myself accidentally falling into a pool in my suit. I flopped in the lake in my full uniform.

What about, is it okay to wear a leather vest at the nudist beach? All right, let's do it. Okay, yeah. That sounds tasteful. They shouldn't be able to say no, but it's on button. It's just the vest, no pants or anything. I'm just thinking of the flip-flops because I'm never more comfortable than when I'm in my trademark flip-flops. That's right.

Well, I know you're allowed to wear flip-flops because a lot of these places, when I was reading the reviews, a few of these places were like, there's a gravel sidewalk here. And it's like, why would you have a gravel sidewalk at the nude fucking place? You're asking for trouble. Yeah. People are trying to come with no clothes on. Should be tile. Yes.

From entrance to exit. Tile everything outside. That would be kind of cool. It would be. It'd get people talking. I don't like the nude beach because I don't want to get naked, but it's just a really nice beach, so I have to go. It's spotless. The tile, the waves are really nice there.

It's got a good surf. Okay. well let's farm this out for engagement please and we'll put that out and don't let them correct you and your no okay well brian that's been another week here on the core raiders podcast thank you so much for coming on where can our listeners find you at home and abroad murder x brian on all the websites patreon twitter and uh just search guys and if you really want to find me guys brian on any podcast thing and uh there's like 40 something episodes of it and uh they're all very strange similar to whiskey jack just start checking out guys

that's right get a load of guys a different kind of guy every week um mandatory plug for my kickstarter this should be week three so we got one more week to finish this thing please contribute theater of delight season six every season a new audio drama produced by yours truly uh and that's going to be it for us on the show oh and if you want more of our show every thursday there's bonus episodes where we do things like email that christian guy we're gonna do it and themed quaras and reddits and so forth yes that's core uh patreon.com slash core raiders and that's our show that's the show bye motherfuckers