Quorators - How Does One Break The Glass On A Slam Dunk? w/ Max Ogle

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Is it possible for a soccer player to mold his hair in a way so he can hold the ball and have it balance on his head and just run into the goal? Anything is possible but would it score a point? What are some of the best train conversations? If someone got out of their car in a rage, grabbed a tire iron and headed to your car, would you take out your gun? ---- Watch the show on http://youtube.com/@quorators Check out Max on the Theater of Delights podcast season 3 (and 5 coming soon)

here we are in the quora cave it's your boys and we're back again it's rapping alex and jeremy kaplowitz hello hey what's up rapping alex ha ha we got the finest guest for you This week, we got some of the hottest names in podcasting. I tell you, you can only really appreciate Quora.com until you go with this little buddy, and that is, of course, New York City's own Max Ogle. Max, welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. It's actually, I don't know, it's nice to be here.

It's one of my favorite websites. I love Quora. Hey, us too. Yeah. Yeah, we spend at least like one hour on it a week. It's true. That's cool. And then not a moment more.

Do you guys get the Quora Digest in your email? Every damn day, baby. Every day. I've actually never been asked that before. Really? Yeah. I think when Quora was first new and I didn't realize that most people on it were pretty dumb, I was like, all right, it seems like the ass-jeevesy type.

I gave them my email once and they're like, Quora Digest in the morning. What plants are best to mix with your coffee? You know, just like dumb, just dumb, dumb shit. Dolphins in your neighborhood? no they live in the sea text a fuck i do like that i like the part that it's curated for you and it's just egregious shit every time yeah um and so that is i do appreciate the email portions of it as well now uh max you're familiar with the show uh you know how every week and jeremy loves this especially we actually we write a quora at the end of our little session and at the beginning

of it we read the quora okay yeah now it's a good podcast it's really good i'm doing it and then telling my friends to like and subscribe i have it on auto download absolutely yeah we count those i know anyway last week we left i think we left a really good one but i do think i may have tipped my hand a little bit i'm very excited about this answer genuinely okay uh jeremy what was our Our question was, I just caught a stowaway on my ship. What should I do with him? Now, you are, so you're from West Virginia. I am.

So you're not like too familiar with the sea. You know, I've been, we, I've been to like, I went to like Myrtle Beach a couple of times. Yeah. That's where I went to Myrtle. When we were getting these coffees, you were saying how mountains are older than bones. Mountains are old. The Appalachian Mountains are older than bones. That's something that they say a lot in West Virginia.

And thus older than ships. Yeah, that's true. So it kind of predates the sea, Alex. They were there on Pangea. And if you want to talk about a sea, not an ocean, which is more of like a smaller thing that is surrounded by a lot of land, then yeah. Get the fuck out.

I'll fucking kill you, Alex. All right. Hey, it's not that kind of a program. But if I had to stow away on my ship, I don't know, probably. I can't imagine kicking him off. No. Of course not. I would make him the lowest person rank-wise on my ship

and let him rise the ranks until he becomes my best friend and co-captain. Honestly, I'd probably make him the COO. Yeah. I wouldn't make him the captain, but that's boss. A.k.a. the CEO of the ship. Yeah. He would be running the ship. I'd give him a couple guys and see if he could disrupt anything.

Yeah. I mean, when you have a stowaway, that means you have a person of incredible bravery who has snuck aboard, but also somebody who has broken the rules. So to give them the top spot is to someone ask for more insubordination. But it's also, so is also someone who loves your ship so much that they're just trying to sneak their way in.

They're like an overeager intern of your ship. And I mean, think about it like this, Alex, being in ship on water, breaking rule, because if you throw, if you throw in ship on water,

breaking, if you throw rock in water, it sink. If you, if you throw your body in water, it sink. How dare you bring up that West Virginia doesn't have ocean. Anyway, when you are on sea, you are breaking rule.

You're breaking rule. It's unnatural. But it is. So for someone to sneak onto a ship, breaking rule is the very heart of sail. That's true. I do agree with that. But if it is a woman, there's a chance that they are a witch. Well, bad luck.

It's bad luck. And they're bad luck at sea. And it's just bad luck. And so that's something to consider of whether you have to throw them off the side of a ship. but let's see what Cora has to say. There was that pirate ship where they found out that everybody was secretly a woman. That's so funny.

I would love to be a fly on the wall on that ship. And Bonnie or whatever, she was like, I gotta let you know, I'm secretly a woman. And the other person was like, no fucking way. Write the spec right now. That's true. Yeah, like girl ship. That's the name of the movie, girl ship.

Girl ship. Ship gals. Where they're all just like, they're all doing like Wayans Brothers level like dumb fart humor. because they're, like, pretending to be boys, but it's all familiar with ships. But with this one, it's like, it's got girls on it.

There's nowhere to even jack off on the ship. It sucks because I'm a guy. Pass me the whiskey, Daniel. Yeah. And, you know, yeah. And then it just turns out that, you know, they're all ladies by then. Hey, if you need to take your clothes off,

make sure you leave them on a pile on the floor. We all do that. I've never seen Mulan. many sailors hadn't yeah i mean all joking aside i mean because a vhs player is so hard to get on a boat yeah it's because they're on the wheels right and the tv just goes back and forth as it and if you have the crt tv you're using it for mayway exactly right that the latency on that it's perfect um all right let's read i cannot think of a better way to get nausea than playing super smash brothers melee on a moving ship uh all right yeah i'm really excited about this one

because one person, the first comment on this, called us out. Carlos Yanez, an avid sailor of 45 years, says, Oh, shit. Is this the ship you keep in Brooklyn with your hipster friends? God damn it! You should know what to do from the Bible stories

you read your kids. These are references to other questions that we've done on the podcast. What the hell is going on? We never should have asked where restaurants are in Brooklyn. That was the biggest mistake we've made on this entire show. That being said, assuming we're from Brooklyn, assuming we have children who we read bible stories to why can we not have a ship yeah why

can't we have maybe even an ark let's say we rented a ship and there's a stowaway what if the stowaway is a third giraffe did we have a question about a giraffe no i was doing noah's ark uh yeah yeah i'm sorry right uh long day but uh you know what kind of looks like the bottom of Of a ship? What? The Oculus? Yeah, I suppose so. What if that's an Ark?

Just thinking. I don't like how mad he is at us about that. I think he owned you. He owned you really hard. Yeah, he owned you really hard. Write that it's not useful. Quarrel lets you say if it's useful. Say it's not useful.

I feel like he bullied you really well. I'm going to say yeah. No, don't say that. I said yeah. He's going to find us. Okay, all right. Real men admit defeat, Alex. Are these a lot of scrambled eggs responses?

No, we got a lot of real answers. A whole port of sailors has arrived to throw us overboard. Edgide Baudouin. Edgide Baudouin. How you doing? Baudouin. How you doing? He says, each ship has something or a department that is structured to handle such matters,

and the U.S. Navy is taken care of by the Master at Arms Division, and they have a holding cell. That's me. That's my division. size of the ship uh i was a shipper receiver we would get containers full of yarn from china at least once a week that's unrelated to what we're asking while unloading this one container i noticed in the front of the container there was an empty carton proof that someone lived on the carton for the entire journey from china to the u.s what um one person says just like a carton full of shit

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what that is that's well you gotta respect it piss and poop okay on the other hand robert d carver says all caps throw him overboard or make him work for his passage fucking duh wow well you know what i did think the information was useful but the tone was not useful yeah it was a little much it's like it's like hey man like we're the ones with the stowaway i know like you're victim and we've been sitting here for a week in our boat i would i would like to give him the twitter notification of like most people on quora don't talk like this please be polite i am already dealing with this so away cook him for dinner says albert digier former graphic designer and army i do like how many sailors are appearing in this yeah okay

oh this guy's a story yeah i'm just looking if it's legit uh tobias franklin let me check this out no there's a scrambled eggs answer okay i mean i appreciate it i'll read it uh i was on a cruise for my wife once and i found a blind man stowing away in my cabin he would sneak in while we were exploring and nap under our bed. I decided to have some fun with him. Instead of turning him in, I gave him a big plate of scrambled eggs, which is our keyword. That is our keyword. If you must answer our questions, please use the words

scrambled eggs, right, Jeremy? I told him it was Jesus. He spent the remainder of the cruise following me around and worshipping me. He kept begging me to heal his blindness, which I would say, if you're not my child, your service to your ward will be rewarded. We finally returned to port. I let him in the captain's quarters. This is a very good story. Yeah, it's a beautiful story.

You should maybe option it. Just get it out there. Do not call it girl's ship that's ours that's a totally different that's ours that's fucking copyrighted if i fucking see that shit anywhere i'm coming for you we kind of need a new angle this year and our angle is girl's ship also ship bold move to claim to be christ surrounded by water that's true just like no follow questions no water yeah oh if only there was some way yeah yeah okay uh another guy talking about the master at arms again yeah people are just answering okay um well one guy says make him walk the plank is this our most successful quora we have ever done

it's definitely up there it's a lot of a lot of great answers a lot of great answers and thank you to the quora community for telling us to kill the stowaway oh here's a good one here's a good one if you actually have a quote ship then you have a captain they know the laws regarding stowaway otherwise they would not pass the captain huh called out a bit sus that you haven't asked your captain i like that you've been a little british yeah a little sauce if it's not a boat and is a ship you should have a captain sounds like someone's an imposter well well well pause feeling a little bit sauce are we kidding there's so little to this character i've seen you stay away in me missile eating on me bussing

apples, are you? Leave them out with Jon Snow. Oh, a little bit goaded with the sauce, isn't it? This is all going in girl's ship. This is all going in girl's ship. We have a bit of a gamer

Clockwork Orange gang in there. They're very online. That's the thing about the guy from, I don't know. That's the thing about girl's ship. We really just wanted to write about what people were doing. It's a movie about people. We wanted people to see their lives on the ship.

It's a story about love. The television is playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. That's very fun. They all play Melee and none of them like it. None of them are trying to break kayfabe. At the end of the day, Girl Ship is kind of about how Fox is really bad on Final Destination against Marth

due to his infinite... Okay, we need to move on. Forget about that. Forget what Jeremy said. We're doing Quartz. We have a new segment this week. This is the debut of this. It's not about stones.

It's not about stones. This week's new segment, we are, of course, doing Quartz. Do you charge your crystal, Alex? That's right. Oh, I see what you did. Max, you're distracting me. Here on Quartz, we do sports questions and questions about sports. Don't copyright strike us.

This is our song that we created just for the sports Quora section. Write in if you like that song. We would love to play more of it for you. I worry we'll get in trouble. It's the theme to girl ship. Okay, let's see here. Max, so I want to get in the habit of really just engaging our guests on these different segments. Yes, just criticism we've received.

Now, you're a natural athlete. That's fair. That's fair to say. What's your favorite sport when you're passing the ball around at the house? Passing the ball around at my house? Bit of a leading question. I've never done this before. Can't be hockey.

I don't know how to talk to Max. No ball in hockey. Very intimidated by Max. Okay. I don't know. Probably, I guess. What's your favorite sport is the question. I played lacrosse.

Yeah, that's pretty fun, isn't it? Yeah, I liked it. Yeah. I thought it was fun. It's fun to have the big stick is why. I had the biggest stick. I was a goalie. Sure.

The Teddy Roosevelt football cross. The goalie has the widest stick. The defense has the longest stick. I mean, that's if you're thinking about what's important. It's not a one-to-one, though. It's not wider for your pleasure. You just catch the fast ball. Yeah.

And then the long stick, you get to assault. Is it ribbed? It is kind of ribbed. It is. A lot of them have shock absorbers. Yeah. Cool. The cross is very much about gear.

That's why it's a sport for rich people. because you can get like a Gundam and get in it. Yeah, it's a sport for children that have at least $1,000. Yeah. Well, we have no questions about that, but we have some other good ones. I'm glad we talked about it. This question,

is it possible for a soccer player to mold his hair in a way so he can hold the ball and have it balance on his head and just run into the goal? Anything is possible, but would it score a point? First of all, anything is possible. I think we could all agree anything is possible. I mean, the styling of this hair sounds like one of those like videos that they put on TikTok next to someone who's talking, you know, just like a dude molding his pompadour with like a weird salad bowl and it holds and he takes it off and then he puts a ball on and it's supposed to be a hair. I carve my hair to hold a ball.

We're a clip of South Park in this. We're South Park and next to us is the hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the little man running away from the train. Yeah. okay so i have there's this guy at the park who i haven't seen yet this year although it is april and 90 degrees so i hope to see him soon um he rides a bike around while holding a soccer ball on his head yeah really yeah so he's done this yeah i've seen it too and so he would definitely

be able to run into the net with his head ball um dude so anything is possible i think legally it does score a point it's just it's way harder than kicking it in is it harder i mean you don't even you just kind of yes because you got to keep it in yeah i mean well i think i would design my head i'm gonna design my hair so it's a big bowl but then it's got like things on top so it's like a tennis ball hopper so you stick it in but then it doesn't jumble around too much i would design my hair to have false balls so you don't know which one is the real one and you're just kicking at my bulbs which ball is the true ball i would love to be indignant about you know speaking the ball into my hair and i'm running across the street and they're kicking me and i'm

like that's my bulb you're like a bulbasaur don't kick my bulb yeah and that i have a bulb i'm like a bulbasaur yeah okay it's a big weep for me you need a lot oh logically is it well you're playing our soccer ball hair question you're doing like a three-card monty with your hair you're like there's not even a soccer ball in here and then you're you're switching them around doing this that's gonna take so long to grow your hair out that long i would maybe honestly maybe i'd grow my hair out really long and just kind of tie it in such a way that it's like a little baby pouch okay so that i could like catch it on my chest it falls into the pouch and then i could just run right into the goal that's smart oh that's way better you know that's really smart you know

And the hair idea, I think. Yeah, soccer's a great sport. There's all kinds of ways to score a goal. It's the world's ball. Soccer, keep kicking. That's a good point, because the first answer here, top answer says, first of all, soccer players don't score points, they score goals.

Let's go. Great answer. Let's go. Why even read? But in this instance, it would very likely not count as a goal. Football's laws of the game do not specifically ban something like this,

it likely should be considered an extension of the rule barring handling of the ball. It sounds like the answer is yes, it should count. They don't have a rule. If there is no rule, it's literally an Air Buds. Yeah, I was going to say, how do they feel about Air Buds? I mean, probably not good. It involves a deliberate act of a player making contact with the ball

with the hand or arm. No hand or arm there. Air Bud, kind of the girl's ship of dogs playing basketball in many ways. Yeah. Yeah, I mean... I think one of the pirates on the ship could be a dog. He's like, bark, bark. And they're like, Jim rules.

It turns out the dog is a girl. I feel so confident. It's going to be such a good movie. And the dog is CGI. And it's just like a live action. But we call it illumination to do the dog. Sure. And yeah, it's doing a lot of stunts.

There's a lot of like over exaggerated humping of things. because it's trying to prove its masculinity. That's a great idea. And it's cheaper to do. Real dogs are so expensive. I feel like most of our money going to go out of licensing ain't no mountain high enough.

It costs a pretty penny. It's got to be in the movie. It's not like this Quartz song I invented before the show came on. All right, any other good answers? I think yes so far. Everyone's like, you can't do it, but there is no rule, which to me is...

Then you can do it. You can do it and should do it. I'm on sports quora and I don't know anything. You're bastardizing the great game. Apparently there's a rule that you can't do anything that disrespects soccer, which is a great rule. Most European sport of all time. God damn. That's what I would do if I was a goalie.

I would just be like, after someone scored on me, I'd just be like, he called soccer a bitch. It's not respecting the game. don't ever talk about football that way just really indignant like five seconds after the goal being like don't kick it like that you don't kick it like that that was very rude what you did oh man i don't think football would take very kindly be talking about that why all right that's enough of that that's enough of that no more of that okay okay number two How does one break the glass on a slam dunk? Now, the thing is, the answers are going to tell you how to do it,

but I'm just a big fan of the phrasing. I mean, you be Shaquille O'Neal. That's how. Easy. How does one break the glass on a slam dunk? Ask Shaq. Philosophical question. Well, you got to slam it.

Right? You get up there and you bust that thing. Yeah, you come on and slam. Uh-huh, honey. Go ahead and bring it. All righty. It's slam dunk time. I want to slam dunk so bad.

And because I am over the age of 20, my knees are falling off. I've been jumping. I've been trying to jump. You've been jumping a lot? Yeah, well, I had the idea like three months ago, what if I could dunk? Because I'm like not short, so I thought I would give it a try. You told me you were at a party where everybody was like a business influencer, and you were like, I think I could dunk.

Yeah, if I tried, I said. Not now. I said, don't ask me to do it now, but later I could. Have you made any progress? I think a little bit, but I don't think my joints are going to hold out. Wait, so, yeah, I guess it is kind of a waste to be as tall as you are and you can't jump. Yeah, I think it's a waste. Well, it's not that tall.

It's just tall enough to make it happen. I mean, what are you, like, you're like eight feet tall or something? I'm a little over six feet tall. If I get good at jumping, I can do it. Now, should I have done this 16 years ago? Yes. Unfortunately, I didn't think of that then. Instead, I was working on Star Fox on Final Destination kind of challenges.

And so now my joints are more adapted to a Star Fox level of difficulty. And so I can't dunk and I can't break the glass. And I certainly cannot break the glass while slamming a dunk. Good answers on this. This is the serious part of the podcast. Everybody take their notes out. Rich Rogers has a lot to say about this. And he studied at Yale.

Oh, my God. The older rims were more prone to breaking, but I think the key is power, weight, and enough leaping ability to have some downward acceleration from gravity by the time you grab the rim. The only guy I ever saw do it in person, and he did it several times in high school, was Wayne Buckingham of Southside High School in Atlanta. Wayne Buckingham. Big shout out to Atlanta. Atlanta. He was 6'9", 245 pounds. Could have been me.

with extraordinary strength and leaping ability, and he dunked with the kind of ferocity that suggested he was absolutely trying to break the rim. Here's a picture of Buckingham jumping over a car. I suppose I'll put that in. The thing is, if I could do it, I would be trying to break the rim. It looks like he's just standing on a car.

With my monstrous... Well, it's a picture, Jeremy. It doesn't look like he's jumping. Not everything's Twitch all the time. How do I emote? How can I react in the chat? I'm trying to write poggers. Yeah, I was going to say, how do they know that the picture is Poggers if you can't...

I just commented on this post. I said, Poggers. I hate that it has my face when you type all the little responses. Yeah, throw a Keck W in there. This is from seven years ago. I think the response is from seven years ago, and the question is from nine years ago. Well, I wrote Poggers. Great.

Does that make you Sag, Alex? Yeah. Does that make you Sag to hear? What's Sag? Idiot. What is Sag? Fucking idiot. This is why I can't dunk, because I'm too old to know about Sag.

Well, because you're not Pog. That's why. Because ducking is Pog and you're not Pog. I fucking hate this. I'll find the audio of Poggers. What is it? Chuck E. Cheese? You guys know what I'm talking about?

No. There's a Twitch stream where the Chuck E. Cheese mascot streamed for like hours and didn't say anything. And then at one point he just looked into the camera and says, Poggers. Okay, let's get that on the show. Poggers. It was funny.

I'm glad we played it. Okay. That actually makes me appreciate Poggers. I didn't realize Poggers was a reference to anything. It's not. No, no, no. This is after Poggers is a word. Yeah.

So it's just a landfill of waste. Now, do you think Charles Entertainment Cheese, if he got drafted in the NBA, could break a backboard? He's kind of short. What do you think his middle name is? Entertainment. Oh, is it really? Yeah.

That's fucking crazy. Where's the birth certificate? Pockers. All right. So those are our quarts questions for now. I kind of feel like that satisfied me. Gerald's not very entertaining, cheese. Not very entertaining.

Folks, the pizza's bad. Where is this leading us? Is this the beginning of a wild adventure we're about to have? He can't dunk. He says he can break the backboard, but it's still intact, folks. I don't know. That's not bad. That's pretty good.

You know, I've done a lot worse. I've done a lot worse, Max. What's our next segment we got going on here? Our next one is the Q train. Okay, hold on. That's going to take me a second to find. So these are our infrastructure questions. We've invented this for our infrastructure-based guest,

but now we have it around. That's the beauty of Quarators is that these segments, they just keep coming back. They keep coming back. Kind of, so this first question we hear. I like this first question because you've written, answers are boring. Well, it's not about the answers. No, I think it's genuinely.

It's about the question, Jeremy. It's a good question. I just think it's funny. And so I don't really know how to lead into this, but the question we found here isn't about the trains themselves, which infrastructure, many times we're talking trains, isn't that right? Right now we're talking what you say on the train. And this question is, what are some of the best train conversations?

I like to imagine this was a young man about to go on an important train ride for a chance to uni. Sure. And they thought, how do I make friends but with some great train conversations? I have a train conversation story.

My friend Chris and I were once on the Long Island Railroad. We hadn't seen each other in years. This was many years ago. And we were just chatting it up, catching up, talking about movies and stuff. And then we stopped talking

and this guy walks past us and he says to us, and I don't know to this day if he was making fun of us or complimenting us, he says, you guys should start a podcast. you have very interesting conversations

and I'm 50-50 on it it's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me you have very interesting conversations it does make it sound genuine I'm paraphrasing but I remember for sure he was like you guys should start a podcast I guess he was just listening to us the whole time Jeremy you've got it

what was the demographic of this dude he was like a nerdy guy so you know he knows what a good podcast sounds like and we weren't having a particularly interesting conversation You got fucking Sheldon'd, bro. I think I did get Sheldon'd. You got Young Sheldon'd.

You got Sheldon'd, dude. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah. It was Young Sheldon'd. So one of the best training conversations is to judge the peers around you. Like, kind of tell them whether or not they have good training conversations. Kind of a meta answer, but it is true.

That's my favorite thing to do is turn around, look over the back of my seat, and be like, guys, this isn't content. I would not listen to this. If this was content, dislike, unsubscribe. I overheard this on transit recently. It was a woman who took a phone call on the train, and she said, and I quote, why did you have three kids then? That rules.

If you want to act like this, why do you have three kids then? That's to her husband, like a thousand percent. I don't know. Or it's the man she's cheating on with, and that he's, maybe he has three kids, and then she's like the escape woman. If you wanted to run away, if you wanted to look into my eyes and feel everything around us melt away, then why did you have three kids then? Why did you have three kids? She was dolled up like a china doll, like an ornate doll.

Is that an expression you could say? I'm not sure. I don't know. I think I took it from Anchorman. Hey, drop a comment if we should cancel Alex. I'm taking that one out. If you think we should cancel Alex, use code SCRAMBLEDANCE. oh no every week they think we should cancel um yeah so i would say the best training conversations

are those had by others tell me that isn't wise i feel like the person who commented this is probably like a very like like an old person who still talks to their kids you know and is like like wants to do the old person thing that happened to them when they were middle-aged of someone being like i'd like to talk to you you know but they know that's not allowed anymore that people have headphones all the time, so they're like, what if it's a really spicy topic? Don't bring up the revolution in Russia until after you've talked for a while.

Just a seven-year-old woman being like, what do you think about OnlyFans? Did you hear how much money Bad Baby's raised for charity? She sent a thousand people to trade school. She made $100 million off popping it. You're right, these answers are boring. Yeah. It makes me think that train conversations are inherently bad.

Well, you know why? It's because Quora is a pros website. People take this as a prompt to come up with your own conversations. There I was on the train. That's not what we're asking. We're saying what are the best train conversations. What if we got West Coast Customs to make a train from Pimp My Ride? You remember that?

Pimp My Train. Yeah. What if we made trains really cool so that influencers would ride them? Sure. Yeah. that's the i've always said that's my big issue with trains is there's not enough influencers on there's just not enough clout yeah people aren't riding trains for clout the way they used to well i watched a video of a guy riding the orient express and like you know it's got like

all this ornate shit and stuff and it's like yo just yo give me a like i would love to ride the earnings it's beautiful yeah but what if you made one that had like a i don't know like a game cube sure yeah the orient express has bad we have one idea for a vehicle this episode what if yo what if you could play smash bros on amtrak honestly like i'm going pretty fast having a good time but i'm getting a little bored um okay well that was a pretty good train question we got another infrastructure question here okay i think um this one's a similar open-ended question okay could bouncy castles have been used as an emergency landing pads for planes at major

airports during events like 9-11 to help prevent destruction and loss of life. So this is saying, you know there's going to be a major event and you prepare a bouncy castle. Yeah. So this is like

the CIA did 9-11. Okay. Granted. I think you just... Could they have added a bouncy castle to reduce casualties? I think the answer is clearly yes. But that wasn't the point, was it? well that's that's when you get a ragtag group of security agents being like you inflate goku you inflate stewie griffin you take floor 18 i take floor 22 this is a future disaster that

happens during the macy's thanksgiving day uh by the way ideal situation to prevent damage with big balloons um bouncy castles specifically i saw this video last year of these bouncy castles blowing away during a hurricane with children on them? Sure. They are quite small. Yeah. The children who are blown away. Yeah, that's true. They don't really weigh down the Bounty Castle.

And the Bounty Castle essentially has a big sail. So I think there are just better tools to work with here. But could you? Logistically, no. There's one answer here I think is interesting. This guy says, No. The planes are too far up,

and hitting the castles is nearly impossible from skyscraper height. Also, the bouncy castles would explode on impact. This is saying the plane hits the bouncy castle. You put the bouncy castle in between the World Trade Center and the plane. That's a good idea. Sir, a second plane has hit the big cloud bouncy castle. It has bounced off.

Sir, a second plane has somehow pierced our bouncy castle barrier on the World Trade Center. I love the idea. Obviously, if you jumped out of the World Trade Center and hit a bouncy castle, you would not survive. This guy's like, maybe they bounce off of it safely. But then you have to imagine they would eventually hit the ground to die. If you have a perfectly buoyant surface, they bounce almost as high as they got up in the first place. And then the second one, they're out of luck. It would be fun, though.

It would be fun. I think it bounced a few times. Sounds like a Mr. Beast video. Yeah. You know, like, we got 6,000 bouncy castles and two towers. we did 9-11 with three planes the longer you stay in the more money you get we'll give anyone who jumps out of mr peaceburger we gave 1 000 children of victims of 9-11 the chance to outdo their parents

with a real bouncy castle give it up for pete davidson he would be a good one to get for that the thing is Mr. Beast is always getting these big celebrity guests and so they only

appear for like a second because every moment of the frame has to be so interesting that it's like oh Pete Davidson oh he's gone but then it's back

to the other interesting stuff that happens in Bouncer Castle 9-11 so it's still good still gonna be a great video for him I feel like if you

stacked up a bunch of them like a Princess and the Pea situation yeah just get a bunch in a row so with unlimited resources yes you could do that Mr. Beast

it's the richest man alive yeah logistically and i hate that title he has is the richest man alive um but to settle your question i think the logistics are unfeasible of knowing when something's going to happen and doing it with the bouncer castle lock me up it's so crazy that that guy's going to be a billionaire i think he's going to i have a theory that in like 2040 the the presidential election will be like mr beast the democrat and kyle rittenhouse the republican and that'll be our future. That's awesome. Kyle Rittenhouse, way worse at content than Mr. Beast.

President Beast. He's going to get swamped in that one, I think. I don't know. Mr. Beast actually gets arrested, though, because he gets caught giving people at the polls Beast Burger and Feastables. And $10,000. If you vote for me right now, I'll give you a Tesla.

$10,000. How's that sound? I think that's a great idea. I would love that. I would love if Joe Biden did that. It's Beast or Bezos. Which way, Western man? Which way?

Those are our infrastructure questions We're burning through them But I got a lot of cues for Max today Not really, we're 30 minutes in Oh baby Let's get to the parenting section This is my forte We're all parents

Oh wait, I didn't get that one loud enough That's enough Welcome to the querenting segment The question is, Max, why did you have three kids If that's what you wanted to do Because I didn't know I was going to fall in love with you tracy that is the answer to that question what if he wanted four kids and she's saying you should have another one i want four kids and she's like then why did you have three kids i'm assuming this

is a man who is trying to buy something expensive yeah that's what i guess was on the other side of that phone call yeah well i want a boat why do you have three kids then sure yeah yeah why did you buy a boat where everyone is disguised as a man but is secretly a woman but is secretly a woman why did you buy a girl's ship uh okay so a lot of the parenting questions get kind of samey sure it's true a lot of them are just like my child did something okay so i killed him yeah i wanted to send him to jail is that good um but these two are they're different flavors of the ones you get on there i like these two a lot and we're interested to hear kind of hear your Appalachia Stiles

to these answers. I think this is a good one. My 15-year-old son punched his pregnant babysitter's belly and she punched him back. She now has a miscarriage and my son has a bruise. Is she wrong for this? Is she wrong for this?

Well, according to the statute, yes. If she's above the age of 18, she assaulted a child. She's supposed to be the adult in that situation. So that's at least missed in my personal. But he punched a child as well. That's true.

He punched a child directly and unborned it. He unborned that child. Well, then probably by any statute that is getting passed below the Mason-Dixon line today. That's true. This child is already dead. He's on trial for homicide. He's already been executed. I feel like she would be the one who's arrested for that.

Yeah. Well, she's going to jail. How dare you let your baby die by getting it punched? That's true. Why didn't you have your shield up? Yeah. Yeah. The body defends against that if you like the baby.

Why didn't you have your bouncy castle ready for when the 15-year-old punched you? I would say this low-key messed up. Yeah. I don't know about this one. Yeah, I would say that sucks. That's a bad situation. She punched him back. Totally fair.

What if there was a court show called Judge Beast and Mr. Beast was the judge? Yeah. You listening to this? whoever wins he gives the tesla to that's rules i sentence you to stand in this circle for 10 000 days judge beast yeah i sentenced a man to death you are not liable for this homicide and also you get a tesla this may be the darkest day of your life but you also win something uh yeah it's messed up that he did that and yeah wait the kid is 15 yeah well also why does this 15 year old have a babysitter still kind of sauce yeah that's true you know that's true like i was so caught up

in the miscarriage maybe if you would have let your 15 year old uh you know have a little freedom in his life yeah and take a little responsibility for his damn self yeah he wouldn't uh you know gotten caught jacking off or something and you know punched his babysitter you won't be doing things like stowing away on a ship that's for sure you go ahead and let him into the goddamn world he won't have to escape his babysitter also yeah yeah it's like he's punching a babysitter i guess if you have to drive around a child sometimes they need a babysitter but 15 i mean if really come on he's just a driver like worst case scenario he gets on youtube and becomes like a nazi sure And he seems like a good kid right now.

He seems like a great kid. Clearly he's adjusted. Name two acts of violence. Yeah, it's wrong to do what he did. I would say he's bad. Alex is worried about our impressionable 15-year-old listeners being babysat by pregnant women. Wow, that's not it. That's enough.

That's enough. that's enough all right well uh all the comments are just like you can't do that you can't do that they're right though they're right to say that he is out of line they were right and they should say someone said uh your son is a punk yeah yeah i guess and that comment was left by the new york post a lot i do feel like this question is made to just have people like to threaten to murder a fictional boy here you go here you go i'm left wondering why a 15 year old requires a babysitter what kind of people raised their kid

that raises their twice to imagine it's okay to punch a woman let alone a pregnant one and in the stomach at that and in the stomach at that yeah uh yeah

anyway how would one break the glass on a dunk uh yeah the glass ceiling on a dunk alright we already we nailed this one why don't we put them

behind a glass wall like Hannibal Lecter yeah you know and then they could ask him questions if there's ever a serial killer who punches pregnant women

And he'd be like, I know how to get into the mind of that man. Yeah. He wants pizza rolls. You're the only one who can stop the knockout game killer. There's another rainbow party. Tell me, was she pregnant? Okay. We have another 15-year-old question.

We're missing the really funny thing where it's Hannibal Lecter escaping. He's just gut-punching people. Oh, God damn it. This is our second movie. Young Hannibal. Silence of the lambs who get punched in the tummy. I don't know how to change it. That's enough.

That's enough. That's enough. Okay, this is a really important question that I think a lot of parents have to deal with. I think some people thought this was a troll. I don't think this is a troll. It says, I, 48, saw my son's phone, 15, and saw something called, quote, the big chungus. Should I be concerned? so if i guess you have to assume you don't know what a big chungus is the big chungus

is a meme referencing bugs bunny when he got really fat in like a cartoon from like the 60s although i will add for the record big chungus has been copyrighted since the meme really as a separate character what owned by warner brothers i i think that when they were saw how much attention big chungus was getting they were like we own big chungus too big chungus is one of ours fellas i know he's already a guy we had but fellas you ever get so so fat they trademark you twice oh no oh geez uh would you be concerned about the answers are all very good because the answers are all people genuinely answering this man okay being like here's the thing big chungus was a name given to bugs bunny after he was shape-shifting this is a photo of him you do not need to be concerned

and he is just a bunny. Do not be alarmed. This is Big Chungus. I really like this one that says, your son should be concerned. He's 15, and his mom is going through his phone. He will have a lot of psychological problems if you don't let go.

That's true. And then someone wrote, Big Chungus is a war criminal. Upvote. Upvote for you, sir. I just like that it's like, my son saw Bugs Bunny, but he's fat. And someone's like, he will die.

Your son will have psychological problems. If your son has been exposed to Big Chungus and has then punched a pregnant woman in the stomach. You may be entitled to financial compensation. Yeah, same user. Check the username. Same user, I'm sure it is. Almost every one of these responses

is usually a picture of Big Chungus. I just really like the very in-depth explanations of this meme where it's like, Big Chungus is a popular meme that's basically of the cartoon character Bugs Bunny being a fat rabbit and imitating a hunter. We know. My son says it's rabbit season.

should I be concerned when it is duck season yeah I think I think you should be concerned probably not at all actually it's just a simple internet meme

that people find funny I think all bunnies are beautiful that's so true and it's just like I love my curvy chungus like why would you be worried

if you found a picture of Bugs Bunny I'm trying to think of like yes in this case why he just saw the text big chungus I'm trying to think of

like what he thought he probably was like my son is addicted to drugs see I thought he was going through his like his camera roll and he knew what big chungus was and he's like why is big chungus maybe it's the volume of big chungus he's one of the chungus gang where do you think he saw this if you just saw the words big chungus you might think like that could be a wide penis sure i guess my son is obsessed with wide penises he's into big chungus well at least he has a

healthier image of like what sexual pleasure looks like my son will get stretched out exactly He doesn't think it's all about length the way a lot of boys do. Yeah, he's not a size queen about it. He knows that you can have a short little rabbit, but it can still be a big chungus. Oh, no. Yeah, Bugs Bunny comes in many sizes. And it's copyrighted in all of those sizes. There's so many fucking answers.

It's true. It's too late for concern. Soon he's going to be rocking the old meat spin on that drip. Decked out full of he-gow. How do you pronounce that? I've never read it out loud, I'm realizing. Yeah. It's the face when you're drooling because you're so full of pleasure.

Oh. Yeah, it's like anime orgasm face. It's the anime porn face. Oh. We all know it. Wait, if you Google Big Chungus Ahegao, what comes up? You really want me to do that? Yeah, dude.

Do incognito mode. I don't want me to find out about this. Control shift I. Wait, do I have to put what I find on the podcast, though, when we do it? Is it control shift N? I'm so pissed off He keeps trying to do it and it's not happening Big Chungus

Stop cursing at me Shut the fuck up Alex Big Chungus Ahegao It exists I'm going to need you to spin this computer around for me Okay That's really the only one That's kind of it

That one says Big Chungus on drugs Maybe these aren't Someone, all right, now this is where you test how many listeners you have, is when you can start getting commissioning the weird fan art. I'm positive we can. If we don't, if no one sends this to me on Twitter within the next two weeks, I'm going to be pissed off. I won't pay for it.

I simply draw the line. I'm not going to pay for it, but I think someone should draw it. This is the perk of being a content creator. I'm going to need you to stop scrolling. Anything you find out here is going to be so hard to get again. Like God, you breathe life into Big Chungus Ahaygao. I'm really trying to find one. but I can't raise

raise the breath into the ribs alright get off of here get out of here you told me to google it stop it now that's the main the main villain in girl ship 3 is big chungus ahegao he's a sea monster he's making sure all the crewmen are men

on the ship not very entertaining you ever wonder just like what we're doing here very bad twitch stream not poggers How long have you guys been recording today? Six hours? Since 11 a.m. Yeah, it's a long time.

And it is 5 p.m. It's not plugs yet. Okay, well. We got two more segments. We got two more segments. You know we do. Each better than the last. And the next is for your discerning single person in your life.

And that is, of course, the core romance section. Oh, see, now you're playing my man song. Yep. Welcome to core romance. Here's where love gets a question. Now, we got a great one for you here. This is kind of from the women's perspective. And so we have the writer and creator of Girl's Ship on.

That's true. Hi, nice to be here. Yeah. Max Oval. David Benioff. David Benioff is here. He's fresh off Game of Thrones. I found this question on TikTok.

Oh, okay. I don't know why I find that interesting. Wait, how did you find a Quora on TikTok? My secretive ways. now there's there's like tiktoks where they'll post like reddit stories and chorus stories over like people playing minecraft and they'll be like yeah like i don't know like i am welcome i abuse my son because he said that he likes game boy oh yeah and they just have the robot voice yeah i love the robot voice pov pov i abuse my son here's a man jumping away from a train yeah okay

uh this is a romance question enough joking around i'm cheating on my husband and got pregnant from another man should i tell my husband or just pretend like this is his child is there any way for him to figure it out cooking you're cooking dude let's fucking go see this is drama this is story this is tasty yeah yeah tastes like infidelity so she knows she's pregnant by another dude yeah okay and she's wondering if she should tell him or just roll the dice yeah just be like this is your kid the thing is if you know there is a way to figure it out then right because you know no i guess if you didn't have sex with your husband and you did have sex with the other guy and so you know and then you could try to cover it up have sex with your husband now she already

knows he he doesn't know that she's cheating so all he knows is they're a lovely couple they're having a baby kind of weird because i haven't had sex recently but whatever yeah anyway this kid looks mostly like at least my wife yeah and then uh you go will he ever think this kid ain't mine is there some sort of inherent nature in being a father and here's the thing he already has three of his own yeah he does why did he have three of his own why did you have three of your own if you weren't willing to maybe share a little my husband was about to purchase a condo in florida when i had a child with the mailman you know how good i am at having kids and you know how much this means to david she's so good at getting pregnant amazing at it what a skill she is like the native

land of israel what yeah that's the thing about that's that's that's the main thing i know about israel is how how how fucking pregnant it gets all the time it's a fertile crescent that's not the fertile crescent. Is it not? Isn't it like Saudi Arabia and the Middle East? It's like Iraq.

It can't be Saudi Arabia. No, it's like Iraq. It's like, yeah, it's like where Persia and Mesopotamia were and stuff. I always thought it was Israel.

Iraq or Iran or something like that, yeah. I just hear, I hear fertile crescent. Bible times. Next tab, open in my brain chrome that I have.

And lo, Abraham went to the holy land of Israel. Yeah. Because it's so fucking fertile over there. Yeah. The fields were

preggers i'm sorry about how mad i'm getting i just really thought it was you really whiffed it on this that's the thing is we were going and you were like and israel gets pregnant alex loves israel he's always like we we got to do birthright yeah i was gonna say it's his birth bro we gotta do birthright i want to marry a soldier they said catholics can do birth right now that's what cars for kids is for it's so that we can send young people to israel so they can so they can get israel pregnant this is true i don't think we talked about that on this show look up cars for kids where the money goes uh anyway yeah don't tell him i don't think he'll figure it out uh yeah no just roll the dice yeah i think you pull it off and gaslight him yeah if you're kind

of the chance loving girl who gets pregnant with uh another man while you're with your husband go ahead and just keep it going worse comes to worse if you get in trouble you can always pretend to be a man, it's no way on a ship. That's true. Yeah, bring the kid. That's a great social life. Cabin boy. Cabin girl. Oh, he's bringing to be a girl. I won't say. It's a son.

I think if the dad ever is like, I'm not sure this is my kid, you just be like, you fucking monster. How dare you? You're going to disown your own son based on vibes? You're sick. He looks nothing like David.

Our good friend. The looks are pretty important, but I think with enough confidence you can con man your way through this one. As a matter of fact, many people... Con woman. You can break the glass backboard. Yeah.

And con woman. And slam dunk this infidelity through. Pokemon dunk the ball. Okay. All right, go fix the camera. Pause. Damn. It's too bad that thing I said about Israel.

You know what? I'm looking up the fertile crescent Well, we haven't been here. Oh, would that be embarrassing? Western Asia, North Africa? I mean, I hate to be that guy, but Israel is in there. We could bring it up. Where is Israel in this scenario?

You tell me. You tell me. I think it is neatly in that crescent. All right. I was in the most wrong. Yeah, what did you say? Saudi Arabia? The place famous for being a desert?

you thought was the fertile crescent i'm we are this is going in the show i don't care if max isn't here i heard so much shit about how saudi arabia was the fertile crescent is not even goddamn true the whole the crescent is a bunch of countries i'm coming i'm here never grab the mic It turns out Israel, modern-day Israel, is in the Fertile Crescent. Yeah. But I will say, Israel, what is it, like 50 years old? It gives a fuck.

Also, it's the size of New Jersey. Alex loves Israel. I just love Israel so much, I always want to shout it out. The Fertile Crescent is so big, they're like, oh, yeah, can we fit a New Jersey in there? Of course you can. All right. I regret ever mentioning it, despite being right.

No, the court segment is over. Are you trying to drown me out with the Quartz music, which I composed right before you came over? I think it sounds like Hall & Oates. It does sound like Hall & Oates, and it's stolen from Hall & Oates. And that's a little fact that I am keeping to myself. None of the questions are really worth reading on this. The answers, rather, on this question, because they're all just like, you cheated on your husband. Cheating is wrong.

It's illegal, which I don't know who gives a fuck. I mean, don't do it, but like... Is it still illegal? No, it's not illegal. It's illegal to break a man's heart. You're doing hard time. You broke my heart. For the crime of mischief womanry, I sentence you to prison.

I gave you my love and my trust, and you broke that when you dropped it. Now you will not drop the soap in prison. You're going to be getting a footlong in cheaters jail. Welcome to Cheaters' Jail. Another great show idea, by the way. I'm Nick Lachey, and this is Cheaters' Jail. Sentenced by Judge Beast. Oh, my God.

Dude, we are coming up with so much IP today. I just wonder how many different properties is it, or is it just one? I don't know how we get Judge Beast on girl ship. I mean, yeah, worst comes to worst, we just kind of make a one piece out of it. Oh, yeah, a thousand episodes of girl ship. Check the audio for a second. Make sure this is still going. We're going, baby.

I deleted the Israel stuff, though. Yeah, yeah. Good. Yeah, good. Good. Good. Okay, what's our next question? We have a new segment.

Our final segment of the week. Ooh. Five Quo. If you're driving, this is not real. You're fine. If you're in the car, this is just the podcast. We're sorry, but it's Five Quo. But what if it is real?

You should pull over. Yeah, you might want to pull over. You should pull over. And finish the podcast. Yeah. If it's Israel, it's the Fertile Crescent. Alex, if you bring up the Holy Land one more time, I'm walking off the podcast. All right.

That's fair enough. Now, these questions are more gun-related than police-related specifically, but if they're violent, I'm putting them in the police section. Sure, yeah. Okay. So this question, this is good. If someone got out of their car in a rage, grabbed a tire iron, and headed to your car, would you take out your gun? Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.

Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. All right. In that situation, I'm taking out my gun. I have a very, very distinct memory of being in driver's ed in high school, and they told us this story of a guy who got into a car thing, and one guy gets out angrily and is like, I'm going to fuck you up. Like, what the fuck? You hit my car. And the other guy calmly goes to his back seat or goes to the trunk, opens it, takes out a crossbow, and shoots the man to death.

That's awesome. Did I not bring this up on the podcast already? Have we? I've talked about this extensively. I think maybe it was Ballin' Out Super, but the priest crossbow incident is famous. Wait, the guy's a priest? Yeah, and also he's a priest. We may have talked about this

on Ballin' Out Super. This guy ran into the boondock saints and Hey, use your fucking signal, you asshole. I'll take the spirit out of you and I'll fucking kill you with me crossbow. I see the feathers sticking out of your gut,

you fuck. Do you hear that trying it's the last sound you'll ever hear you stupid also my father's in the car he's part of this with me that's boondock saints by the way check out boondock saints yeah you gotta check out the movie the dad's part of what they do you hey tick tocker you like norman reedus you like him take boondock saints boondock say in that oh yeah i haven't seen this he's the long hair brother all right we're getting really distracted yeah the boondock it's a great movie i know i know that but there's really good the first big answer here there's a giant picture of a dog

freaking doggo alex over here yeah okay it's a rare pupper it's a heckin doggo but uh uh abe says he's a former royal marines commando and a shepherd once more wait the dog is answering you lost the camera again but that's okay we're just gonna cut to max here you fix it and i'm gonna go talk to max okay we might not we might just not have camera for the rest of this episode we'll see we'll see about that like i'm working with the camera okay i'll see about that come out of your trailer come on we just got to do one more couple more shots i would like to add that although our setup is very simple the part of it that always malfunctions is the expensive camera and not the phone i don't know um okay so max riddle me this this says uh nope the entertainer

is always with me. So I'd simply open the door and let the person meet my dog. And then it's a picture of, well, it looks like an Eastern European man choking a wolf-sized dog. That's an Eastern European man. Well, I love that he calls it the entertainer.

Like he's going to open the door and it's like a grimdark, like, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da. Wait, so... Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. The entertainer is the gun. Oh. Okay.

Okay, so is the Billy Joel song the entertainer about his gun? No, the entertainer. I am the entertainer, and I shoot people in traffic. I got a big dog, and I'm causing a havoc. I like the idea that, like, you know, guns hurt so many people in this country. Guns hurt so bad. Speak on it. But they also hurt tons of dogs.

So you keep the angry dog with the person with the gun. That's true. dog-related gun violence. That's a good reason why it's in the police segment, by the way, too. If it's guns and dogs... You got to team up. Police love to shoot a dog.

I need to read more of this dog answer. Please. Okay, so after he sticks a dog on him, then he says, then I'd get out, remove the dog from his victim and the tire and iron from its hands and call the cops in and the ambulance to tend his boons. And then a picture of him snuggling with the dog.

I love the idea of this guy doing a murder fantasy where he's like, my dog rips out this guy's fucking throat and he runs up and like kicks the tire iron away like it's a pistol.

Like tactical style. He's like, get the tire iron. Get it out of here. It can blow. Important caveat. He is a working military attack dog.

Can you also read another caveat right before the picture, the final picture? An added pic of daddy below and it's the dog on a good day. Is the dog's name daddy?

I hate that. The dog does look very scary. You have to put these pictures on there. It is a wolf. Its teeth are like the size of my hand. Wait, is that dog Daddy? Yeah, this dog is serving Daddy.

The dog is giving weapon. I cannot imagine calling my dog Daddy. Oh, Daddy. Daddy, dinner is served. I'll see you when I get home. After I took that guy's neck out of his cunty vice. But anyway, I would grab my gun. I would take out my gun.

Oh, yeah. Slay, Daddy. Marble and slingshot. That's what I would have. Okay. Okay. you know that's a good idea yeah because yeah because then you're just it's it's you're in and out no one's what's ncis is gonna find the freaking marble good luck good luck good luck

uh let's do one more question here and i just think these are really good ones for max because he's from coal country it's true he's from down south he has shot a gun yeah i do i have yeah debatably maybe at people a few times when he should not have only when he should have when he should have debatably when they're talking about a good guy with a gun it's max it's me yeah it's it's maximum pleasure well this is a question i just thought that maybe you'd have a good place to answer this is on the um maybe we could visit this another week this is the page america's gun club let's talk about guns say anything okay they love the movie say anything

say anything is an interesting caveat there um he just holds up an ak in the air uh what would a gun owner do if i grabbed his gun and then run away on legs i never intend to hurt the gun owner i just want to get rid of guns entirely to save innocent people okay so he's running away on his legs yeah he runs away on legs okay he doesn't say who's these could be any legs but that's what he's using to run away and uh most of these questions are just like people threatening to kill a made-up person i i know that like atf is the uh alcohol what is tobacco firearms i always think it says aquatine hunger force i also think that as well you're gonna call the aquatina you're gonna call meatwad this guy let me get this

straight you're gonna ask master shake for help in this situation i have your gun i have arms You do a Meatwad voice. Are you going to go for the fry man? You know, how do you do Meatwad? You do a perfect Meatwad. That is the number one funniest impression to have as like your best impression. Yeah, right?

I have practiced it for some time. And you know what made me want to do it was watching Meatwad. Meatwad, everybody. that's like one of those things where like you hope meatwad becomes more famous yeah i check the trades every day like when like meatwad to go like all the comedians who could do a good trump like when he became president like well i mean yeah he goes out on kimball and he's like you guys hear what meatwad did i'm picking up the new york times is where i'm saying oh wow look at this meatwad's president you gotta hope that like the guy who does meatwad ends up being a pedophile

so they're like looking for the new Meatwad. What do you mean the head's on shit? Who has the camera again? Hey, if you're watching YouTube, sorry. Enjoy this picture of Meatwad on puttin' up. Next week, we're putting a mirror

next to the fuckin' other camera. Yeah, the other camera. Or we could just use your phone again like we did for the first few ones. We're talking too much shop here. Let me read the answer Do it as Miwad Do it as Miwad Do it as Miwad

Come on So the answer to the question Do it as Miwad I'm going to fix the camera again Come on sweetie, do it as Miwad This is chaos It's so normal, just do it as Miwad How much of this do I need to do as Miwad

I know you can do it as Miwad baby Come on Roll Yeah Yeah, dude. Since you have committed both a federal and state felony, I would just report you to the ATF and the law and police department. And the law and police department for that to be followed.

I would then watch them go to your house. No, that's not fair. You can do it as Carl if you want. Yeah, do it as Carl now. I don't have Carl. I would then watch them go to your house Arrest you and put you in jail Until your lawyer you got on there

Get out on bail That's not as funny He's just a generic voice He's like an Italian guy Can you do any of the Muna Nights Do we want to hear the Quora question Not one bit I just want to hear me one

I don't give a I use Yahoo Answers Then I would let either the federal or state government Indict you on felony charges You know how he's got the little guy That's right He's kind of hard to do I hate that you pushed me into this

I'm trying to read you that this guy Is going to jail I hate that I have a near perfect meat wad And I just have to do it Alex when we did a zip zap zop at the beginning of this episode That was a social contract To say yes and say and I've just said and

And I would like to Read the quorum Listen, Alex, if we were in a situation where we had to answer a drive time radio style Quora, I would immediately do. I'd go, it's Quora in the mix with W, W, blah, blah, blah. I would go all in for rock radio. I would do that for you. And right now we're answering a Meatwad style question, so please read it as Meatwad. But here's the thing is it's not a Meatwad style question.

It's just a question with the word ATF in it. And now we're all insisting Meatwad has to read it. We've got to end this podcast. This is the podcast is over. That's it. That's it. That's enough. Max, thanks so much for coming on the show.

It's been a lot of fun. Thank you for having me, folks. We have to ask a question, though. Also, we're going to ask a question while we do it, in addition. But what have you been working on recently? No, nothing. Just, you know. We're on Theater of Delight Season 5 coming out soon.

Yeah, Theater of Delight Season 5 coming out soon. Gran Nitorino stay tuned to that dial slam the subscribe theater of delights button a different podcast but also slam that subscribe button to this podcast because you just want to hit the subscribe button to podcast

it's true it helps that's what feels good that's what looks good also listen to season 3 I helped write that yeah yeah Max was real deep in the that was a dark time for me season 3 because it was like 20 late 2020 early 2021 we were so scared about the virus

we lost so many elderly people anyway so what's our question this week should we read the quora real quick alex should we do it no i'm done with the quora now what is it what is our question does your lawyer drains every penny you have defending you all right fine so the thing is the guy sends you to jail forever and you die in jail it's a cheater's cheater's court oh okay let's ask about cheater's court okay is it illegal how about this question is it illegal to cheat on your spouse well i think like people would just say no should we say like should it be illegal no i think let's say is it illegal i'm afraid of going to jail and then people will chime in to yell at us yeah that's probably the best angle to take or you could take the cash comp cash

compensation route where it's like can i get sued if i cheat on my bubble uh okay can i get sued for cheating on my like your guys is better i put a question mark at the end of i'm afraid of going of jail because i feel like a core is it up a bit yeah is it illegal to cheat on your spouse i'm afraid of going to jail yeah that's good yeah that's good i hope we get some of the ship captains to come over from the other question all right tag all those communities that's gonna be quarried just for another week we love you at home for listening to all the chorus hey and check out this song thanks for listening bye