Quorators - How Much Would It Hurt To Put Salt In Your Eyes? w/ Bryn Nieboer

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Wear High Heels Permanently? What Person Destroyed Their Entire Life By Making One Simple Mistake? If Someone Put A Gun To Your Head, How Should You Respond So It Doesn't Happen Again? Watch the show on youtube.com/@quorators Check out Bryn's rock band Stay Inside and her podcasts Gen Loss and Beep Beep Lettuce

Okay, so is the idea that I'm just going to like click them like this, or should I put it on my lap? Yeah, put it in your lap. It is a laptop. You don't have a laptop, right? No. So you genuinely are like, what do I do? Put it on my lap? I've never been a big laptop guy. Just computer normal? I just click around? I do not understand this. You've explained this to me before. I'm just checking that we're recording for this. Okay.

What have I explained to you before? You've explained that... Okay, so you are a man who spends all of his time on the computer and works professionally on the computer and have been like, I don't like bringing him around. Let me put this ad for tea out of the way. Stationary. I like feeling like I'm at a battleship every time.

I do genuinely like that. That's what I want with a computer. He doesn't want to take his work home with him. I find it hard to work on a laptop. In what way? I don't know. You can't write your screenplay at the Starbucks. It's true.

I would never. I like sitting at a desk. It's a thrill. Can I just say that? Can I just say, getting your pages done right where everyone can see, it's a real treat. You're an exhibitionist. That's right. I don't drink coffee either, so I'm a terrible right at a coffee shop.

Do you smoke? No. Come on, man. Come on, man. I'm just unhealthy on my own. Doesn't smoke. Has never done crack. not even one time

no coffee still out of shape not even doing anything with it yeah however of course you're out of shape you don't have any drive you're taking all these

stimulants out of your life you gotta become a Chuck Palahniuk type of guy yeah yeah yeah just get ripped yeah yeah yeah get ripped and gay

I think I could be good at that fight your way to the top of the gay community like it's an escape from prison arc like Palahniuk did yeah like I'm assuming

the famous novel Chuck Palahniuk one's good. And also, you would be strong from carrying a laptop around. And with no further ado... Look at all this couch dancing. Quarators. It's

Quarators! I was looking at you so we'd say it at the same time. Okay, I'm sorry. It's Quarretors. Yeah, we got it. Wow. Another week, another show.

We have a hell of a program for you today, dear listener. And if you enjoyed that hit theme song at home, you will love this very special guest we have on the show today, designer of that very song. Your big credit. Writer, performer, producer extraordinaire, we have Brynn Nieboer from the band Stay Inside. Hello.

Yes. How are you doing today? I'm on top of the world. We've moved to the living room. You see that? I think it's good. I think it's good for us. Look at this setup. It's so luxurious. I'm like 40% sure that camera's not diagonal. I'll figure it out. We can rotate it. It looks good. My hand is in the shot. Does that matter?

No, no, no, no, no, no. They like that. I'm a big believer in the idea that once you have it on video, nothing else matters. You're like 90% of the way there. and then if you get like a movie quality camera you're just at like 95 i really haven't done a lot of like video posting until we started this show and i am now of the firm belief that the actual video does not matter and the title of the video matters because we had that one clip online that was like alex doesn't respect sober people and then it got thousands of hits of people trying to kill me it's not even really in the clip it has 500 000 tiktok half a million people

And every comment is like, these people are losers. My father lost his life. He lost his life because of that drug. If you're straight edge, fuck you. Yeah. There, let's say it. And then I'm just commenting on it. It's like, check out the show.

There's a lot more where that came from. You're going to love it. Watch it. Watch it, pal. not to be like a podcast who comments on negative comments or that is not what we do but there is one very funny comment where someone was like fuck these guys i'm never gonna read quora we don't own quora it does imply that we are somehow the ceo and cfo of quora well and which one's which that's ludicrous but you are definitely paid advertising that's correct big time yeah

they're giving us we're waiting on that payment by the way i would love that i would take that payment oh yeah new soundboard today we got a whole new crop of these big episode happening right now this is one for the history books we're on the couch and we're we're on the couch and the cat's here again now the cat may be a decisive problem with recording on the couch as it gives him 360 degrees of terror that he can impose his will upon and upon the show and uh so michael Eisner used to say about alien abduction at Disney World. 360 degrees of terror? Oh, the ride

Alien Abduction? Yeah. Incredible, I know what you're talking about right now. That was a scary ride. It seemed like the alien was like jostling you for snacks. The ride pushed down on your shoulders. Yeah, and then they would like spray water in your face when it was like

sneezing on you and shit. It's a 4D ride. 360 degrees of terror. Is this Universal or something? Disney World. disney world that's my favorite place i've never actually been to disney world no oh it's 360 degrees of terror well the alien has left so yeah they replaced it with the lilo and stitch ride which is well it's stitch imposing 360 degrees of scary i would imagine well that was what they

were going for is they were like so i noticed we have this whole theme park of mickey mouse themed stuff and then um what appears to be 360 degrees of terror in the middle of it children hate but it's got kevin mcdonald being the scientist right yeah like hi everybody stitch is loose i'm gonna be honest with you it has been some time since i've had an interaction with this ride but i've never been to disney world so i i know so much about this just full of information goddamn cop tricking me into my disney knowledge on the internet for discrediting purposes that's true i just want everyone to know that alex is a disney adult he's a disney adult not only is he a weeb he loves 101 dalmatians he's soy facing with mulan as you can see below

he supports the marvel cinematic universe he thinks iron man is based and should run the world that's right and i've always said that well glenn you uh as you have stake in the game for this podcast you you made the theme song and you are familiar with the premise of the show which is of course that we well we go on quora.com and we read all the quoros that's true i do know all that um so of course you must be familiar with our first and only segment so far which is that we read the responses to the quora we posted last week oh uh ad for fire emblem engaged that's very distracting for me oh i gotta move these little anime people around on a board that's bright red and blue colors bright red and blue colors monkey sees action i had to play it on

like such low volume because i'm so like nervous that my neighbor it makes you scream divine dragon i hate it my horse archer um well anyway this uh aside from that that uh we'll be right the question is kind of like that too like the the both of the the dying sounds sound like some sort of anime person coming i do like that's my favorite thing when you start a video game they're like pick which voice you like and you can just hear a stranger go like has anybody ever been able to like decide what they like from that calm down show me your mood um so i was excited when you told me about the show when you asked me to write the song because i was like finally i'll know what corey

is and you haven't done a very good job of telling me after a couple episodes i feel like it's we've really done a great job that's i guess where our views just um differ differ on this yes differ that's the word because the thing is quora is just it's like facebook but they got questions on there i don't understand the confusion is a lot of people been saying this well i don't understand how the how it works like how is it organized like if i want to look for an amount of questions i can't tell you that because i don't know the more i learn about the website the less sure i am like i'm descending into the annihilation tunnel i've only ever seen the one page where there is a question but there's no list of posts yeah it's it's basically like reddit you

go to core communities and then you can just see a bunch of questions like i'm on their home page right now and the top one and sometimes they're not questions sure sometimes it's just like what's The meme. Yeah. This one is, can memes represent every state? I'm like, yeah, I guess. I don't know what that means. Why are we talking about this?

If you go to Quora.com right now, the first post you see is from October 30th, and it says, what is it like being hospitalized for a severe mental illness? Hmm. Probably bad. Not fun. Negative experience. Yeah. You don't also see a lot of quippy answers on here either.

There's a lot of long essays. Now, here's an ad from a shoe company. It says, why are these sneakers regarded by millions as the comfiest shoe? No, that's not a question. Why are these sneakers regarded by millions to be the comfiest shoe? Oh, and here's a polar bear covered in gore. Why don't we find out? Yeah, the thing is, though, is I'm not going to be able to find this picture again of the polar bear.

Covered in gore. I'm just thinking of editing this already and being like, yeah, I'd like to find that polar bear. No, I don't need it. That's not going to go in there anyway. um well we have some answers on some previous questions that we've written the last two weeks just oh yeah just the one do we did we get any from the week before because we did like two in a row oh you're right we did we got answers to this one last time okay so let's do this one this is from when we had james austin johnson and this was his actual question that he just wants to know

about his life and it was if i don't go to church anymore should i raise my child with bible stories Now, before we read these answers, you have to get these to James Austin Johnson. If you are a PA at Saturday Night Live, you have full executive authority. Cross whatever boundaries you need to cross. Tell him how to raise his son. You don't have his number, so you can't give it to him. I mean, I do have his number. You do.

But it's funnier to imagine someone barging into his office while he's working with a real celebrity and being like, James, the Quora has some answers. for you i was just imagining him like with a like a green visor on and smoking and like writing it's like sir yeah a telegram from couriers a telegram it says you should it depends on whether you want to that's like most of the answers he's like i don't know he's in the state you depicted saturday live writers where it's just him in a smoky room with keanu reeves being like keanu what president do you want to be which one do you want to blow the fuck up tonight uh okay well yeah how should he raise his child okay we have eight answers because i've been wondering which bible stories

my children are gonna hear now i want to say they're just the battles the turn the tournament arcs wait what battles well there's um there's uh david and goliath that's a battle classic battle uh there's king david he's doing a lot a lot of battling jesus does many battles with satan where satan tempts him which is a battle of the garden of gethsemane yeah it's like in a it's like a uh like an evangelion metaphorical battle kind of thing his brain traverses the physical realm in that way and he's like i'm not i won't have a kingdom yeah the class my kingdom is my father's the classic scene in the bible where jesus is sitting on a folding chair in a spotlight holding his head being tempted god's glasses flash with white um jesus get on the cross get on the cross

jesus or mary will do it again um when i first watched that show i felt like putting i was putting on uh those like colorblind glasses you see those videos that's why i felt like looking at memes and being like i i could see all the memes now yeah that's oh it is more than any other television program make you see color that they live glasses the metaphors are stacking they're up to the roof okay but i do think like that show neon genesis evangelion more than any other show ever created was made to be discussed via meme oh yeah absolutely yeah it's very much stares at the camera kind of program anyway uh religion okay so yeah oh sorry that's a bad segue we're getting like very theology themed by the way we have to back off after we do we do um i was

gonna say this week good job for everybody um we we told everyone if they want to listen to the podcast and answer they have to put the word scrambled eggs so we got a lot of scrambled eggs answers on this yeah first of all we want to say good job um i don't know if we're gonna read them necessarily but let's go through yeah there you go hey good job to all of our scrambled eggs listeners uh i appreciate i read all your comments and they're all very funny very funny you're so funny we're laughing about it just off camera i think they're fun but but let's read the real ones because those are the that's what we're here for we're not here for we're not here to read joke answers we're here to read from pat falconer he says personally i say go ahead but do not push

any faith upon the child. Let them choose. I drive mine to and from church youth group. Let them choose. I think if you're making them go to a church, you're kind of pushing. Yeah, religion is not like the series of objects you present your baby with

at the beginning of Lone Wolf and Cub. Take up the blade if you choose Judaism. Choose the ball if Islam is for you. And then I guess I'll just do my own thing over here. The marketplace of faith. That is funny. imagine your kid has a different religion than you but like from birth like that one that like just i mean that's a saint at that point if they come out and they're like i'm uh i'm a seek i'm

a seek i have a knife on me i've ridden the golden worm so i'm a seek my name is a killing name i guess it's just true for everyone who has like wicked kids yeah that's true like witchcraft or whatever yeah in boston they have a lot of wicked kids wicked kids well that's enough of that do we want do we want to read any more of these or sure uh olivia williams says do you think they are important really you should be the one to decide shut the fuck up shut the fuck up i love how all the answers are just like you what do you think look i don't know depends on what you want to do we ask you what i'm raising this baby is yeah it sounds like most people just think of this question as morally neutral yeah and it doesn't matter yeah even though it's a major

part of their lives it's real like where do you want to go to lunch i don't know where do you want to go what do you want for lunch i'm hungry but you should decide well where do i want to go for lunch that's a good question maybe that's our question today and i guarantee we'll remember at 50 minutes from now that's a promise i'm gonna be hungry then so definitely i'll remember oh yeah a lot of hot spots around here too a lot of hot spots it's a hundred percent true you're in hoagie haven harbor nonetheless let me read this other one rosemary peerless ellert says depends on if you read them straight from the bible or some children version that some person has got all wrong why don't you go to church anymore and then three question marks is that his mom

I think that's what it feels like. James getting roasted in this one. James, no. Why don't you go to church anymore? Sounds like this person knows us personally. How do you know? Take all your faith questions to Quora now. Go talk to your pastor.

You've lost the light. Only the lamb can guide you. How long actually has it been since your last confession? Around the table. I've never confessed I'm full of sin Going to hell Right to hell

Probably not since high school Probably And I've been to mass a few times since then But the confessing Is like you gotta make an appointment Do you really? They have separate days for it They're not just running the confession booth mid-mass every day

Sitting in the little box eating a little main Being the priest would be exhausting you have to run back and forth from the box while leading a lecture essentially um yeah i didn't wasn't raised catholic yeah i was protestant really and so you would just confess like casually directly to the lord i got it me and jc one-on-one relationship that doesn't count how does that feel you gotta you gotta dial one talk to go through some guy yeah well no he's he's got he's got the the hookup though he's got the good like i don't need to talk directly to the dealer of my soul right i can just talk to the hookup all right and then i'm not playing game

cube with god all afternoon you know what i'm saying yeah what if you make the ceo mad you don't know hey it's cool it's dangerous he told his friend told me is cool well sometimes he lies and exaggerates like he's more upset i don't know so they asked you to do too many prayers at those that's my review alex's review of confession too many prayers too many prayers knock it off especially the same ones that's enough i'm not 20 hail marys shut the god damn afternoon get out of here i've always wondered what that meant do you have to do you have to say one prayer 20 times yeah i don't know don't do like a goku 20 times hail mary i all glow red everything i know about confession is from movies uh yeah you don't kill

anyone after usually. You're a daredevil. If there's a confession in a movie, somebody's about to get shot. They're rarely passively in a film. It's always to contrast a horrible murder. I only watch the Boondock Saints.

I am also thinking of Boondock Saints. I was thinking of that bad lieutenant. Oh, yep. Yeah, he's another great guy. Lovely person. Waffles has ensnared himself in the mixer's cord here. All right.

Boxes are for cats as far as I'm concerned. This feels very safe for the show. Okay. Don't pull it out. Oh, I'll be pissed at you. Okay. Well, that's enough of that. I think it's time we move into our suite of wonderful questions here today.

We have questions covering the gamut from hither to yawn. Oh, yeah. We got a lot of ones that will make you yawn. That's right. No, no, no. You have questions that will make people excited to listen. Well, if they're listening before they go to bed, they can still yawn. They're going to be hithering with excitement.

Hithering is like dithering, but a little more breathy. I was thinking like quivering. Yeah. Here they come. More questions. What's our first segment we're doing? Oh, Quoromance. Quoromance.

Here we go with that. Welcome to Quoromance. It's the segment where we answer your romantic questions and they were on quora and you like that i love that that good for you it makes this makes them randy a lot of yeah do it do is does that make you horny baby just very clinically does that make you horny now does that make you horny baby it's like a doctor all right first question does that make you horny i hate you with a mallet a little bit oh you're bad you're very naughty and you're bad okay uh i think there's just one of these today okay yes this question is i want

my boyfriend to wear high heels permanently how can i achieve this have we read this one before no we've just had in the dock for a while this is about making your boyfriend wear high heels permanently you shouldn't do this that's not the question it's good we're getting this out of the way the question is actually how do you make him wear high heels if the question was should i then we could answer that but unfortunately that's uninvolved. Alright well if you wanted to make him against his consent

I'll do it. What happened? Did waffles knock out of the thing? Here's what I'm going to do. Okay yeah anyway so this fucker he's got normal shoes on. And that's unacceptable. And that is

not what we're doing. So this is I guess like if you got a little shorty you got a little short stuff in your pocket you want to make them tall as a t-rex put those high heels on yeah i feel like you have to sew them or or or somehow like graph it to skin if it's permanent no because you just never take off high heels so is this the idea of the person sleeping in them you think yes permanently permanently like this is a human centipede for high heels so yeah sewing is probably the way to go or cauterization sure because leather heals okay so you need a shiro ishii to then

take him underground to manchuria and have his way feet wise this is a movie yeah yeah you need a very dark sinister figure who's put morals behind the science he's pursuing and just leave him alone with your boo you don't think you can psychologically convince the boyfriend you don't To never take them off. To never take them off. Okay, so Brandon's originally addressing this like, if he takes them off, he dies. Sure, like it's the red necklace around the woman's neck or whatever.

It's pretty much like it's the red necklace. The fable. You know what I'm talking about? The red scarf. I don't, actually. Her head falls off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a cautionary tale.

To never touch a woman. Yeah. But their head will fall off. Well, without consent. and alex will just come off 20 hail marys i feel like i didn't do anything wrong today which is also a long one in addition but um excuse me uh i think if we read this as generously as possible right okay so we assume and that's what we do here we want to take people's cores very seriously you just mean every time you go out he's wearing these things may or i don't know

That's the question. All right, yeah, okay. So how do you convince him to wear high heels all the time? Just whenever he would be wearing shoes, he's wearing heels. If this is like how you reinforce a dog, you bring him up big time, he's wearing the heels. Oh, look at this spiky drink of water. Yes, I was saying you got to play him Prince only.

Sure, sure. Because Prince was wearing high heels every day. Oh! That's the sound that Prince makes. I feel like this is a recurring theme on the podcast is that you. No, I was thinking Michael Jackson. Prince is shorter. Yeah.

And he's got to wear high heels. Not a pedophile. Yes. Both dead. Well, I know the difference between them. I just was thinking of the wrong song. He does scream a lot. He makes all kinds of sounds.

Yeah, he's a big sound guy. I mean, he's not that far off. But anyway, yeah, so you gas him up every time you see him with these things. He's like, oh, is Michael Jordan here? Whoa. Stunning masculinity coming from this side of the room all of a sudden. uh and then every time he's not wearing them really turn on the bully button just be like sure you look like garbage what are you short motherfucker what's up with your calves i never

want to fuck a guy wearing tims why are you walking so easily you have no ass i think like if you're gonna target one area of the body like uh fallout you just like target ass over and over again be like no pop you're not popping today brian the vat system and then he negging your boyfriend begins to notice you wear the high heels things really change your day a lot more positive of a day happening and that would be how i would do it i think i feel like you've noticed that all the questions all the answers on quora the suggestion is always to treat people like you would train a dog yeah that's right well they're all there are questions of human manipulation which is a great way to do it

treat people like dogs not but dogs what is the general aspect of man if not his canine forebear I don't know if that makes sense but I do like it do you like it?

yeah it's just as good let's see what these people have to say Ducati Ryder says I have the chance that my GF and I we are addicted to heels and for us a dream was coming true you gotta steal this guy yeah just find a guy who already likes it yeah you have to foster an addiction

make him watch kinky boots over and over that's what that show is about right he agrees with you every time they eat you play kinky boots he says we even sleep sometimes both in heels she uh she was convincing me to do it because she even slept in heels before I knew her. I thought that this was only a man's dream. Can I just chime in and say, super weird. It's all extremely odd. From what I understand, these heels, they

hurt your feet. Do you find that to be true? Yeah, I mean, you don't want to wear them all day. I don't like wearing shoes most of the time if I can avoid it. So, heels like a higher level difficulty shoe would be a no-go. Alex's feet are exposed at the moment. He's showing feet. That's true. Is that on camera?

It's not on camera. I actually double-checked that. Because that would be double the views that would be big views for us definitely don't want to show feet on wiki feet oh no i have to say talk be nice i don't know where that came from all of a sudden everyone was obsessed with feet i don't quite get it either and i find it disgusting it's about the uh the allure of the hidden yeah what cannot be seen because tits are boring well because i think the thing about tits is that like you used to not be able to see them so easy and so now you can see tits all the time pretty hard to go see feet i guess because no one cares yeah they also kind of suck i think that's

what it is i think you're like oh they're bad they're disgusting i think that's what they like about it probably well i don't think they're disgusting i'm just like that's like a that's like a hand i see those all the time it's kind of a worse hand though yeah it doesn't have the appendage definitely a worse doesn't have this this old this old buddy or nasty buddy what if i gouged your eye out with my thumb right now just to prove a point for our podcast i blinded you i haven't been read my bible stories i don't know right from wrong every every moment is a content opportunity to me um sorry oh yeah so continue this because this is insane uh because she had she even slept and healed before i knew her i thought this

I thought that this only a man's dream, but it exists. Thanks, God, I found her. Thanks, God. I found her. I found her. There she is. She wears heels. He thought it was only a man's dream.

He dreamt of a woman who slept in heels. Why? Incredibly uncomfortable. I can't even sleep in socks. Yeah, no, I don't know why. I love that there was somebody immediately yes-anding this, because I thought for sure this would be a threat of naysayers. No, no, no, no, no.

Everyone is on board. The first comment is... Everyone's on board. That's beautiful. I always encourage this with my husband since the beginning. I've known him since junior high, 1990. We are both 44 years old. We both wear the same size heels, and there's, like, several heel emojis.

I'm sorry, what? Heel emojis. How is that possible? I feel like that would be tough to do with somebody you started dating when you were 13, too, when it's, like, 10 years past, and you're like, you've got to wear heels all the time. Forget about high school. Maybe shower in heels. Adulthood is heels.

It's very dangerous. Ooh, slippery. you're gonna slip and fall real problem are they never going hiking no running there's a lot of activities you can't do with it although if you can run in heels you're probably

extremely agile I've biked in heels do you feel like a god damn ninja at the end no it just hurts well you know the statistics where like 60% of people die in the bathroom or whatever like an absurd

abnormally high number of people. You get old and you slip in the bathroom somewhere and you can't get up. That's so surprising because I would have assumed it would be hospital. Anyway, wouldn't it be funny if it was because old people were all wearing heels? They gotta look hot. There you go.

They're trying to get their groove back and it's the end of them. There's not much else you can do. There's not much else you can do. And as we have discussed ad nauseam at this podcast, Because your retirement is a fuck fest. Oh, yeah. It's cum covered and cum drizzled, and you're drizzled in cum.

If you get to go to the fancy. Sure. Yeah. They're expensive. Yeah. And it's because they're all fucking there. Right. Because they're all the bourgeoisie.

That's right. They're without morals. They have no Bible stories. They're sucking and fucking in their rich people conclaves. Is it wrong to suck and fuck my way through the nursing home? That's why you've got to save up now, because it's all for when you're an old person, your spouse dies, and you can suck and fuck in the nursing home. Right.

Yeah, that's true. Save your energy. Save your strength. It's really a monkey's paw type of wish fulfillment, because you get to fuck forever, but then everyone is ancient and dying. Right. Right, right. But I think you've got to lean in.

You've got to lean into that. You're excited about it. That's going to be part of it. Yeah. Well, I mean, I wouldn't like it now, but if I was 80 or something, I'd be like, yeah, it looks just like me, a nasty old toad. When do you think old people's hair is going to start changing? I feel like old women's hair is still like.

They're still perms and short, like they're in front of the 50s. But at some point, they're going to start just being regular, natural. They're going to do the Rihanna, like, side. Side shave. Side shave, yeah. Lots of Macklemore haircuts. On old men? Yeah.

They just, like, still have the Nazi youth haircut? I'm going to fall out of here and suck my car. this is by the way this is a real like comedy shortcut for me is old guy saying gen z slang not even sex up just like she gets me every time you're low-key slobbing on me he just like me for real My heels are low-key goaded When walking around is the vibe An old guy like voting for Joe Biden

Being like he just liked me for real It was very funny to me He just liked me for real He just liked me for real Yeah, real lazy For real, for real Joe Biden low-key slaps well that's enough romance for one day yeah both of the romance questions were about high heels

there's just no that was the only one we had we have we have one romance we have a lot of other stuff today there's a lot of medical there's a lot of comments on this by the way but they're all positive all of them are just like you know that's so beautiful that you found somebody who loves you you the same way you love them i'm glad these people are finding each other because i would think like if i had like the high heels mind virus i would be like i'm gonna die alone there's no way i could find like somebody i meet in the normal situation and be like by the way what if you fucking had shoes stapled to your foot there are a lot of advice questions to this that answers this that are just like okay here's what we're gonna do first of all find locking

heels and it's just like this is just like advice for someone to i don't know trick their see they I thought that it was going to be forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shiro Ichi. I mean, you're totally right because the first guy sleeps in them. People are crazy. All right. You want to switch segments here?

Yeah. You want to go to the Quoker? Yeah, let's do the Quoker. Hold on. This is our incel and manosphere. Really? These are all of the questions that you need to know as an incel alone. this is our biggest category on on quora i think since we've added more well we've been using it

as like kind of a i'm sorry the naruto theme is long um we've been using it as a catch-all for all the weird questions but now we've been adding more segments i think we've been dispersing it sure but we have some top-notch incel stuff today so i've been meaning to get around to it shouts out to the incel shout out you're lonely you're lonely and you deserve hey we could be your friend you could be normal where's your only friend and we'll never suck you off don't talk to us don't talk to me we're your friends uh okay so what is this one alex won't suck you off i will never suck you off are you being jame gum i'm the devil you sound like you're like anonymous on a documentary i will never suck off an insult i don't want anyone to know who i am right but

is clearly colin powell i only get with studs um this question is i am 28 years old and i have failed in life i just managed to admit it now how do i deal with it damn you just admit it now huh loser after 28 years pack it up bro um so the natural instinct is going to be telling this person it's okay you have so much life left right right he's young he doesn't turn it around he's not even 30 yet there's no reason to be so down i mean even if you really botched it doing something i guess unless you like are going like if you're going to jail for life or something you could be like well i screwed the poochie i guess that would be okay i killed 10 people yeah i shouldn't have murdered my whole family after doing that confession yeah imagine it imagine going on

a killing spree and then going to like a motel and then just being like killing spree really slow on that one sorry going on a killing spree running to a cheap motel in like some outskirts of Tennessee and then just getting on court and being like what do I do

I fucked up should I never should have been the dark knight of Boston confessing my crimes only to commit them once more with my brother and our dad i don't remember the movie that well wait are you talking about the boston bombers which i believe i watched for your show one time we did we watched it on discord and it

was so bad it's a bad movie it's like me for real the thing is you watch the boondock saints in boston you're like there's something about these roads that drives me to follow their path i also want to drop a toilet on a guy i want to just say some slurs unrelated to the plot i do not remember this movie at all uh well it happens anyway so there was a firefight there was a firefight okay so the 28 year old and he's fucking fucked up um sure yeah if the question is what do i do right yes yeah you have to be like i've just started a new life i've decided on the criteria yeah and i fucked up yeah i'm guarantee you this is a finance guy before we read any more but a from the fact it's on the internet b just finance guys are always

holding their heads and going no no maybe yeah maybe it's the ftx guy oh yeah sam bell or whatever um sam bankman freed sam bankman free how old is he or fried 28 he's oh he's in a poly cool i know that is he yeah well she's beautiful in her own she wears high heels all the time uh yeah this could be him i i wouldn't be surprised if he's 28 he's i think he's like 31 or something let's look it up but anyway uh these people are gonna rip you a new one on quora though they're not they're not gonna let you talk down to yourself he is 30 years old swish he's a goofy looking guy i did not know he looks like this yeah sam bankman no no no he's off quora now jeremy cheats on this show he goes on google and wikipedia that is not what we do here just

quora just we are finding answers in life see i i think you should be able to search quora and say what does sam brinkman freed look like and find the answer you know what let's let's see just to see if it works we're gonna do that right now and then we will read answers to this question just just type sam bankman freed okay you don't need to do you're gonna get a lot of like what did he do or whatever let's see what did he do a lot of nothing as far as i can tell i do love That his name is Bankman and he committed a financial crime. I know. It's the most fucking Hideo Kojima name ever.

Yes. Yeah, he's like a Mega Man boss. Yeah, yeah, he is. Fraud man. What is his weapon that he gives you? It's scissors. He stole somebody else's idea. He's not very creative.

The questions are, is Sam Bankman Freed a psychopath? Why hasn't Sam Bankman Freed been arrested? Is it because he has powerful Democrats protecting him? That's it. That's the big reason. For sure. Is he not in jail? He is in trouble, right?

I don't know. He's definitely in trouble. I say like a child. I see everyone looking at me to answer this question, and I simply will not do it. Is Sam Baikman-Fried just another good Democrat? What does that even mean? There is a, I mean, we haven't really tapped into this on Quora,

but I saw this through some of the submissions, like a huge right-wing section of the website. Really? gets uh just like there's a very popular uh community just called it's okay to be white which is like just like 4chan 2013 in there weird why do people get mad at you when you think white is a superior race that's like because you have to qualify everything so you're just like when the when certain races commit all the crime why am i crazy for pointing that out and then like it'll have a hundreds of like tons of uh uh why are mass shooters based yeah um i saw the for the

five seconds i was on there i saw somebody talking about how like dylan roof was not associated with the it's okay to be white program and it's like you guys are just a forum you don't have a group what are you talking about dylan roof is like i love quora i am not good at the internet let me just make one thing clear i like burger king and i love quora I love two, three things, and that's murder, burger, quora. Okay. All these questions are, all these answers are just people being like, nice to this guy. I felt like a failure at 28.

My education was drilled by health problems. I couldn't hold down a job because my health caused me to miss a lot of work. Disappointing. I was on this for a short time. Having a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, two years ago, I was unemployed for, everyone's just kind of like, well, I was sadder once. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You think your wife was bad.

I don't know anything about it, but one time I lost my job. I think the real question is, like, will you cheer me up? And they are answering that question. I'm like, come on, buddy. A resounding yes. You'll be 29 soon. Just keep drinking and fucking. Yeah.

Don't stop drinking. One rule, keep drinking. If it hurts, keep going. Yeah, keep drinking for sure. Also, maybe start gambling. You have time. buy a gun time to double down you live in america you need a wide-brimmed hat yeah as a 29 year old i want to say to this person

there's a lot of weird photos this one yeah it's like he's laying on the ground okay he's kind of like doing an upside down this one's got a bunch of memes that someone put in this one says your mind is very powerful you can achieve your greatest dream or you can put yourself in mental prison there's a guy in a jail cell in a guy's head oh and right now the person asking the question is kind of in a mental prison isn't he so that's been very enlightening in its own way yeah all right fuck this question yeah fuck this question that question sucks but this next one's gonna knock your socks okay what person destroyed their entire life by making one simple mistake what person destroyed their entire life by making one simple mistake hitler i was gonna say that

You can't say it. Brynn said it. She's the guest. I was going to say that because he did the Holocaust, which was a huge mistake. His one mistake. You should not have done that.

I thought maybe you'd say opening the Eastern Front or something. Something that he would think is a mistake. Invading Poland. Just all the war. If I were Hitler,

I would not have done all that war. Sure, yeah. Much less. There's got to be a second person. although the answer to the question what person is kind of just like which one person what does it ruin his life uh destroyed their life entire life by making one simple mistake their entire

life this sounds like the beginning of like a commercial for something i was about to say this does sound like an ad um yeah now i can only think of movies like punch drunk love sure shouldn't about all that yogurt or whatever yeah but he ends up in love at the end it's a happy story about a normal guy you shouldn't put all that money on those uncut gems that was one simple mistake um what maybe what kind of person and the answer is a real sicko i can really only think of like famous stories yeah like the donner party should have left a little earlier yeah oh what about when uh when uh judas betrayed the lord oh yeah he destroyed his life with one simple mistake of silver 50 pieces yeah a lot of good those will buy you in hell in the fires of

gethsemane no that's a garden i swear i went to school for nine years where they just yeah they just read me this stuff over and over again and i was like i'm getting some of these words and i'm stapling them to other ones i went to hebrew school but we didn't learn anything at hebrew school my big memory of hebrew school is that one of our teachers when i was in third grade revealed that she had never had sex and we all just like bullied her about it in third grade yeah you knew to bully an adult about that in third grade i did it that's advanced bullying i remember one of the other kids being like what sex life like and the teacher being like i couldn't tell you and then him being like what that's bullying beyond your years that a child deserves

an award she'd be groomed by the government but also she's probably lying she was probably that was my first time i was like i'm not telling these kids i don't think she was lying she wouldn't be like it's great she wouldn't lie to me her full-time job was working at a hebrew school with her mom and at the like parent teacher conference she asked my parents if uh they knew any single men oh my god i can't find a single man to wear high heels all the time my mother insists oh yeah i really really rough i assumed she was lying until you told me that further information and that is i think if you're like an incel teacher you're saying it to the kids almost at any opportunity yeah you're like and by the way no one wants to fuck me if any of your

parents are single i'm very lonely i feel like incel women incel women a woman made it incel up uh is that true yeah she was like a lady in college and she was like yeah i'm involuntarily celibate because of all of these reasons pretty good right that one's not for any specific occasion but it's also for every occasion yeah there are definitely incel women but i think she's just being picky really there are different communities for incel women because the incel ones are kind of like toxic masculine spaces that would get got a bunch of dudes on the shit pile there first but also the idea that it was made by a woman also does sound like something an incel would make up not only will they not have sex with me they made up this whole

concept i'm stuck in now that's probably true it's like the international jew for hating women and i'm not saying me yeah which is jeremy international jew of mystery Let's put a real James Bond Do I make you horny Yes or no Shaken Not stirred I'll send it back

I would never send back a martini That's something about me This will be a big TikTok clip God damn it I didn't clean up my act on here It's too blue over here I cannot pop off because Jewish bond will be used against me with the next generation.

Jewish bond. We were originally Bondowitz, but they changed it at Ellis Island. I just found out about Jewish names. Like in what way? Like three years ago. What does that mean? I didn't know Jewish people had like specific types of names.

Like Berg and like Rosie. Gold. didn't know that bond is bond any type of money i'm playing this straight for you but i can tell you i know someone from california who told me that they didn't like i was saying something about like how jews like look like whatever he's like i didn't even know jews look a certain way can you show me examples and i sent him like a bunch of photos of people i grew up with actually i have a whole bunch ready for you i sent him all these pictures of people i grew up with and he was like these are just like people

with dark hair and glasses i was like yeah that's what it is that's you've solved it i'm gonna be honest i'm also from los angeles and i grew up mostly i i don't i think i knew like one other white person like growing up and i just think i don't think jewish people and white people look different like they all look like white people all look sure sure well there's like a whole swath of like russians too who are just or like there are definitely german people who look exactly the same as like Jewish New York diaspora where I'm just like, this is the same thing. It's amazing

you found them to get them or whatever. You're making really small differences here. Splitting hairs. That's the tragedy of these things. Yeah, what was the question? What person destroyed their entire life by making one simple mistake?

And then really went full circle with it. We couldn't find the second person. Hitler was our one example Hitler and then guys from movies Yeah I'm trying to think of one Any like famous person If you go to the comments

Is it all just Hitler It's all Hitler How about Hugh Grant Okay What was his What was his simple mistake He was on top of the world He was on top of the world

And then he got caught Having sex with a hooker Okay yeah that'll do it That's all it takes Pee Wee Herman Jerked off in the movie theater There you go Ooh simple mistake

Yeah which Which is like That's not We've all done it Whom among us? Honestly, that is true. I feel like if that happened now, people would be like,

well, that's where you're supposed to do it. It's a porn movie. So he wasn't doing it to anyone without their consent. So you're kind of like kink shaming him. It'd be weird to go in there and not do that. We've all seen Taxi Driver. It's a normal thing to take your date on. Right.

Girls love it. Yeah, that's the point of that scene. Is that Robert De Niro is doing a normal thing. Why do couples go to movies like these? We need a scene that shows this girl's weird. She doesn't want to see a movie with him. It's so bizarre. Some really normal, like, go to the Jackoff Theater

and she storms out. Like a freak. Like a freak. That's how you know she's not from New York. Red flag. She's a gentrifier. They've ruined Times Square. All right, what do we got?

A good friend of mine has an older brother, maybe mid-70s by now. Strong, healthy, do-it-yourself kind of guy. he was painting his house on a scaffold but he couldn't quite get as high as he needed to be he put a ladder on the scaffold and in a split second whoops he was down and paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of his life he had the best 24-hour care he could uh get at home for the rest of his life about 10 to 15 years i believe they're going to retire when this happened but his wife kept working at the same place until he passed because he really needed her insurance i can only

imagine how horrible that must have been for him and his family just a very sad story what's the question okay okay that is actually a great answer to this which is if you've ever fallen down from a from a height or something you think like why am i falling down right now why did i make this one simple mistake therefore ruining my life that's true that that really did probably but he was already 70 yeah i feel like if you have a sour note ending oh yeah you didn't ruin the life you got a good 70 in there you got probably a fine 70 you gotta view life like it's four dimensional you know you are you're still living those first 70 years even though you're paralyzed now from doing a ladder scaffolding combo move you saw online um yeah everyone who jumped off a bridge

has said this quora sure big mistake i ruined my life by ending it so it's not just hitler it's also people who fall down who i think we can all agree are the moral equivalent yeah similar types of people they make similar levels of mistakes uh i'm not gonna read this whole thing because it's long but just the first sentence i invested in this crypto coin called sh shib in spring of 2021 that's shiba that's the is that what it is i bought 12.7 billion sheeb oh no that's a lot of money i blew it all on sheeb well he says it's for 800 this guy is the one who then wrote the i'm 28 years old and i've ruined my life question i went all in on sheep wait their life savings was 800 dollars yeah

you can flip that in the crypto market yeah you're savvy what's going on are they 18 years old yeah this i don't know what this guy's deal is get more money i lived off my it was you know that grind said you son of a bitch you don't know how to grind um jesus christ i'm trying to find good ones and all these are just like one woman went for a walk and then she was stabbed four thousand times that's not really a mistake per se that's just an attack the manson girls that's one they made one mistake the manson girls yeah similar to the hitler thing mistake committing a grievous crime yeah um most of these are just crimes not that simple either no yeah that's true it's not simple you

have to like stalk the family and go to their house and then spear their entrails on the walls there's a woman who was killed by ted bundy also not a mistake that's just an act i guess you could be like oh it's a mistake to get caught by ted well they were saying like oh she made a mistake by like helping him with his car or something but like that's not really a mistake stop victim stop that is not what we do here curators don't be victim blaming yeah when i hear when i hear victim blaming i think objection your ace attorney yeah another great sting i found um okay here's one blast this is an insane question all right it's an insane answer uh this is my son jeremy with his former girlfriend she left him a year before his birthday on valentine's day and there's

a picture of the two of them this is jeremy after he killed another driver in an accident on his 26th birthday. And there's a photo of him. Why are you putting this guy's face all over here? Why did you do that? Jeremy has done enough. Okay, I'll say drinking and driving is pretty much a pretty...

That's a mistake. That's one simple mistake. It's really easy to do. It's definitely a mistake. It's an easy and fun mistake to do. It's just wild to be like, this is my son Jeremy. He killed a man.

Yeah. That's insane. you know what it is is mom don't show this online mom's just want to be posting faces regardless yeah look how big i made he's he's in jail for life okay um that's kind of messed up that was all pictures of you though sure that is weird that it was my mom it was my mom especially because you didn't do that if you want me to take this out you just let me know if you put a photo of me and the youtube underneath it yeah it's gonna be you it's gonna be you buddy at 28 all right all right this is the one i wanted

to get to okay i see you looking to skip over no no i was not at all how could i thoroughly fuck up my girlfriend's life see this is directly to the point of this is the quoker yeah no i was definitely not going to to skip this one because i need to learn this now that i uh killed a man drunk driving right girlfriend broke up with me on valentine's day right and you got to get her back i would say first thing you want to do is probably like drunk drive with her make a simple mistake yeah get her to wear heels introduce her to ted bundy your good friend um or dommer yeah there you go see the rest of these questions have kind of like a mistake he killed all those people he killed so many people uh uh the rest of these have like a kind of

floating like oh well i i messed up my life or i'm sad kind of thing to it where this one's just like i'm an incel i'm asking incel questions a girlfriend though this isn't like my beef with incels is so many of them have lots of sex right and you shouldn't be allowed to call yourself an incel no saying that there's people who are like i'm an incel i only have sex like a few times a year and it's like wrong you can't have wrong donald trump wrong would be a great sting why didn't i think of that yesterday you're just a normal misogynist get in line objection to them calling themselves incels i do can i i can find it on here right don trump wrong yeah yeah if you can find it well i mean i don't want to do like a whole right who cares forget it um all right yeah

so i've read this question and all the answers are just like keep dating her pal yeah yeah yeah just stay in her life buddy there you go and it's kind of like an epic dunk because the thing is if you're not writing an essay the thing people like to do is tell you your question's stupid oh here's a insane answer oh it's easy get infected with aids i made a movie about this wait what's up i made a movie about that you made a movie about a girlfriend revenge by getting aids on purpose yes really how'd it go it's a sad movie oh okay it's not like a comedy it's a dark comedy people were very mad at me because this is all an ad this quora you wrote this seven years ago I see everyone's bad.

I made a funny movie about giving someone AIDS. I'm so bad. Well, that's a revenge. No, yeah. I mean, it's a good way to do it. If you're going to do it. It's a good way to do it. Yeah, I don't think you'd want to get HIV to give it to them,

but you could give it to them some other way. Oh, like the CIA giving people HIV? Sure. Injecting it into their arm? In my movie, he tricks his friend who he secretly knows has HIV into fucking her. Oh, like kids or something. Yeah, like kids. Yeah, kind of like kids.

Did you make kids? Yeah, Larry Clark. Hello. Very impressive. I've seen that movie so many times. I always thought it was so funny, and no one ever agrees with me. You've got to stop watching that movie. It was just a movie about a bunch of kids giving each other AIDS.

It's funny. They just won't stop doing bad things. I had that reaction a little bit, too. I was like, is this supposed to be a joke? The thing about it that's funny is not like the story. It's the presentation like Mothers Against Drunk Driving made a movie of all the bad things kids could do. And here they are. And they're like, look at them.

They're listening to Beastie Boys and stealing a 40. They're getting wild on a Tuesday night. Go to sleep. Everything else they do is fine. Well, they killed that guy with a skateboard. I forgot about that. And also that guy with no legs in that movie. It's a real guy and I've seen him.

really you've met him i have no legs i have no legs and he has no legs that's a guy he has no legs cool all right new york city is its own story now getting back to ruining a woman's life ash slaying and slasha is a care is a character in this quora and he says all these answers in quotes have been very unhelpful and gay except for the aids one i'm sorry it's just like you're in the right place i like that i like that this person's like edgy response this person's name is a spongebob reference is that what that is yeah yeah uh she is the enemy play sweet pretend to care take pictures of her naked and post them on creeper sites 4chan and reddit especially see i don't know how i don't really see how revenge porn ruins your life unless you have a really stupid

life yeah see this is another good tiktok to get yelled at i'm not saying it's okay to do i'm not saying that now that you know that's a possibility don't you feel thoroughly unsafe for every moment on here not really i don't care it's haunting me i'm not gonna check tiktok one thing that's cool about tiktok is that they don't understand any like irony or sarcasm at all so they just take everything completely at face value and sometimes if there's nothing there they'll like make up a thing that you said and then be bad about that i'm used to that on twitter that yeah that's true the video form is just so much more direct um but who is gonna fire you for having like somebody put pictures of me on the internet that i didn't consent to um yeah it's

not i don't i would be very embarrassing i think it would be a mean thing to do i wonder if it happens now but i wouldn't be surprised if it happened at like office jobs at some point i've heard that it happens but that's insane yeah and you should be mad at the jobs too Yeah, that's true. This person's response was, A, these other people are gay and do revenge porn. Yeah, revenge porn or AIDS. It's either revenge porn or AIDS is the answer so far. And those are pretty much all the answers.

I think those are good answers. I think there's a lot of other ways to ruin a woman's life. Yeah, frame them for murder. Well, no, just simple ways like just be a freak and come to her house. Sure. And, like, threaten her dad. like there's a ton of like just being an evil person let's see but those could be one simple mistake that ruins your life sure but that's not a part of the question yeah that's fine if it

ruins both of you i mean the other one was a double takedown by getting aids and giving her aids i mean that's definitely that scenario that's an ouchie really high stakes stuff you could just go to her job and like be a weird sleazeball and be like could you brainwash or somehow could you brainwash her into some into joining isis or something like that you just convince her to join isis just casually mention isis around you could be so good at isis you could do you think i would you think you would i think i'm just saying i think they could use a guy like me alex sure yeah i think i'm like really tall well for like i think tall for isis not like super tall but like i'm eating well i would love to have you be the host of the isis

podcast the official isis podcast hey welcome to isis today we're killing infidels again and uh we're really the spree we got a lot of heads to cut off and uh women have been lying to you let's get to it let's get to it uh inshallah and also um we're just taking over towns we're doing one day at a time like don't set unrealistic goals but we're taking over towns and we're killing as we always say on the isis podcast paint the map black paint it black get the whole thing black get out there and just do it expand the caliphate It's the one podcast where we ask What is Isis

You could also get her addicted to fentanyl And that would be really easy Just like start putting it in her cigarettes Yeah If she's a cop you can just leave it near her Yeah she'll just smell it Let me ask you one question about your girlfriend Is she a cop

If your girlfriend is the police officer who had sex with all the other police officers Yeah Your bitch got a badge Your bitch got a badge That's an important first date question. I'll answer your question, but one question for you first. Are you an ISIS? Are you the host of This Is ISIS on YouTube?

The nicest ISIS podcast. Hey, what's up, guys? Oh, well, that was a really good incel question. It was the most direct incel question we've had on the show. Miracle on ISIS? It still doesn't sound like an incel question to me. It sounds like just a misogynist evil guy question. You know what it is?

Misogynist and incel are interchangeable words in my head because of the community use, but they are not the same. They mean different things. There could feasibly be like a very kind, well-adjusted incel. I think there are probably many even. Yeah. Or well-adjusted maybe. I don't know.

Judd Apatow made a whole movie about it. A whole movie about that. It's like almost three hours long. A whole movie. The 40-year-old virgin. it's like not very funny either have you seen it recently no it's not it's not funny it really is just the premise of the film but they really waxed his chest they waxed i guess that's kind of funny really was a screaming there were there were some positive elements to the 40 year old virgin

judd if you're listening you were doing something new it would be funny to like write a very serious like swing opinion article about how he invented incels through that movie like new york times column or whatever that would be interesting and i do it you should do it you're the media guy you should get in a print print is booming right now you gotta get in yeah everyone's jobs are really safe that's right uh how much time have we done right now we've done like an hour okay let's do one funny one and then we'll stop you wanna okay which one do you want to do you want to do this last install one and close it out i kind of wanted to do if i say it we'll have done it i want you to scroll down and say how much would it hurt to put salt in your eyes

it's okay this is from zach day uh-huh and this is quora md quora md that's the doctor one that's pretty good if you're driving we're very sorry no we're not not me it's like an ambulance but also that will also be our cop theme as well how much would it hurt to put salt in your eyes? See, this is a lot. My guess is medium. I actually don't think this would be so bad. When I was a kid, I had a, you know one of those pixie sticks?

The like candies that just have like powder in them? Yeah, it's just sugar and a stick. When I was a kid, I tried to, I was eating one once, and I couldn't get it out, so I went like this, and I shook it over my eye, and I poured it into my eye. Like a whole stick, like six ounces of stick right in there? Because that's sugar, that's not salt. You had to go to the nurse?

yeah well that's a volume thing though like if you like thoroughly salt your eye i bet that will hurt a that'll that'll hurt till the moon yeah are we talking about a single grain or just like i think salting it like a slug like a spoonful um i'm assuming this means like a whole spoonful i'm assuming i like that you did this on camera yeah i did so when i was a child i looked like this shaking the pixie stick just begging for it to come out uh yeah i couldn't figure it out so i tried like fucking with it and all in my eyes um that doesn't feel very good i get hot sauce in my eyes all the time and it hurts you're being hot sauce guy yeah i'm being hot sauce guy because i get it and then i'm shaking the bottle i'm shaking it around i'm doing like

cocktail moves in my house throwing it over my shoulder Tom Cruise or I'll be playing video games on the computer and I'll touch it and I'll touch my eyes just quick clear my eyes for League of Legends

oh no yeah you need Sean from Hot Ones to be like careful around your eyes careful around your eyes why are you touching hot sauce in between games anyway well because I got like a taco I got a taco on one hand, and I got my game in the next.

I got my Mountain Dew and my Flamin' Hot Doritos. I'm cruising in there. Anyway, I thought for this one I would put salt in my eyes. What do you think about that? Okay, yeah, let's do it. All right, hold on. No, no, no, no. Read some of the answers.

I got some salt. It's right over there. I know where it is. You can't do it. It's just a little bit of salt. Are you really going to put salt in your eye? Yeah, just a little bit. I think this is a terrible idea.

No, I think it's a great idea, but I think before you do that, i think you have to we have to set up the sure spectrum of how much something hurts right what's the what's a 10 okay so we're not going by the faces well you can do the faces but i just want to make sure you look at my face then match it to one of the faces on the poster and be like this hurts alex six all of the comments by the way say that would hurt very much and do damage to your eye uh i don't want to do damage to my eye i can't imagine it would do damage we can look this up on a real website if you want no that defeats the purpose you're urged to leave quora one person says my boyfriend just put uh put what is this my boyfriend just me to put salt in my eye that

would take my sty away how true is it that he said it wouldn't burn so he's solving her sty with salt yeah that wasn't working as a as a medical technician myself i could not recommend that but should i put salt in my eyes right now on camera can you be blinded by salt see that's the thing is i don't want to be blinded by salt that's a beautiful movie title though you are blinded by salt blinded by salt blinded by salt the diamond feels like a national song oh my goodness um yeah maybe we shouldn't i guess you've talked you talked me out of it I got to do more podcasts with teens because then I'd already be salt deep in my eye right now.

Eye deep in salt. I think it's going to hurt a lot. Yeah, what you said, what you said. I think it would be very painful. Well, I don't care about painful because if it goes away, that's fine. Like, I don't think the jackass guys would shy away from putting salt in their eyes.

Yeah, but don't they all have like one testicle each? Yeah, they've hurt themselves very badly. Yeah, they all have CTE, basically. Yeah. Well, I'm not going to do it now. You're talking me out of it. It would have been a huge clip for us. Could you imagine if we post the clip where you put salt in eye?

It gets like 200 views. It definitely would not do any numbers at all. No. Yeah, that would be very disappointing. Now, the one of Brynn saying to give people HIV on purpose, that's going to do numbers. Listener at home, give people HIV and volunteers. Hey!

I recommend it. Do we want to ask a question or do you want to read one more? I guess if we're not going to pour salt in my eye, we should just read another one. Let's just read one more. I don't want to go out on a sad note like that. Let's finish off the Quoker one. We have one more Quoker.

This was sent in by someone named Cody. And the question is, if someone put a gun to your head, how would you respond so it doesn't happen again? Say it again. If someone put a gun to your head, Alex, please act it out. They're holding it inside of you like this.

how would you how should you respond so it doesn't happen again so you're already assuming you're gonna get out of it or it already happened you're definitely gonna get out of it yeah well there's a way that you can respond so that it never happens again oh yeah it's like a video game it's like sure if you hit the wrong button they shoot you in the head but if you hit the right button they never do it again well you could shoot them in the head and that way they would never do it again maybe you could say something you could bully them you'd You're like, did your mother give you that piece? I encourage anybody you're getting robbed to try that, by the way.

Is that your dad's dick? Or are you just happy to gun me? That might get you shot. They might shoot you. I think the only answer that 100% gets them to not do is you pull out your gun in a kung fu move and gun them in the head. Yeah, gun Kata type of way. If you shoot me, I'll give you AIDS. was one mistake that ruined a famous person's life pulling that trigger

executing a guy boondock saint style boondock saint style crossed here's the one mistake you made pal and that's putting a gun to a quarry user all right well here's an answer gregor haley says i've actually had a gun put to my head before thank you i calmly looked the guy in the eyes and realized that he really did not want to shoot he looked scared shitless i stood there and allowed his partner probably the honcho of the team to pull my wallet this didn't happen no this did not they didn't get much just a few bucks I just stared at the gunman. Leave it to the honcho.

He got nervous and started shaking. I simply told him that he needs to calm down and stop shaking. After they got my wallet, they ran away. Why would you say that in that situation? Calm down. Hey, it's going to be okay. You're just trying to steal from me. I calmly followed.

Don't do this for your own safety. And watched them toss my wallet into the trash. I got my wallet and continued to follow at a good distance, of course. I watched them go into an apartment. then I called the cops the cops went to the apartment and pulled these guys out I identified them

by their clothing and the gunman's eyes the cop found the gun bad guys I know those eyes none of this happened no I know those eyes

absolutely none of this happened I've had I've been robbed before and the cops are like hey fuck you where was it well you didn't follow them

did you if you do the cop's job they'll eventually I was about to say like this guy just sounds like he was an off-duty detective yeah exactly

he's a cop yeah i called my friends the police he was probably calm because he was strapped at the moment yeah yeah and then we killed all those guys also the rest of the behavior too of just like i told him to calm down while he was robbing me it's very bad lieutenant yeah yeah yeah another answer from dustin covey hookah hey today is a good day to die like many of the respondents i have had the experience of having a gun pointed at me a drunk teenager at a bush party which i I don't know what that is. That's a George Bush party? It's capital B, so it might be a George Bush party.

He fired. The bullet went past my head. About a tenth of a second later, he was tackled, and a very nice .22 rifle was broken over a tree stump. I never felt so goddamn alive in my life. Hey, that's a Bush party for you. You come dressed as Gore or Bush. They were very big for a year or two.

Everyone wanted to be them for Halloween. But you also bring a big gun. Oh, yeah. You got to. An elephant gun. all the teddy roosevelts you got to be careful very high uh concept party you can come as a democrat or republican republican a bloodluck your blood jesus christ trying to get there it was like hard to remember once i realized like i said it wrong um i learned that fearing death

is one of our great vulnerabilities when the chihuahua attacks the doberman it's fearless because it's not worried about its, quote, end. That person's a fascist. The guy hosting a George Bush party. What are you talking about? Anytime a guy starts comparing types of people to different dog breeds, he's a non-fascist. Absolutely, absolutely.

But I like that he thinks that he's a chihuahua. That's an example, I guess. Oh, I thought he was the Doberman, and the chihuahua is pointing gun at his head. No, because the fear of death is something that he's... He's not afraid. as a mental samurai he has moved past the fear that he is the fearless chihuahua yeah um live your life like each day is your last blah blah blah the kid who shot me with this

this was 40 years ago it was a saturday night the next day he drove tractor while i stacked bales on the way the hay wagon i gave him the easy what wait they're friends there he was the next day it was 1964 classic bush party i gave him the easy job because he was pretty damn hungover upset about his gun getting broken and he was my best friend after all what you got you got an exciting life and i'm i wish i was you maybe it was literally dick cheney in that man he did shoot his friend he did and then had him apologize yeah which isn't is a chihuahua move big time that's a bush party um there's a lot of answers on this i don't know one guy says take a swing at the guy holding the gun

and then call him a coward and yell, shoot me, shoot me, shoot me. Gloria from The Sopranos just holding it to my head. Kill me, please.

This is like the answer to guarantee you get shot. First start swinging, then yell, shoot me. Well, yeah. Okay. I guess they couldn't do it again

after they've killed you. I like how all of the answers are like this happened to me like all of the people who have had guns pointed their head this happened to me and i did karate to get out of it do that okay well we learned a lot here today and uh with no further ado i think it's time for us to leave our questions yes yeah leave our mark on the court which we decided at the beginning of the party sure it was um what should i have for lunch oh that was what it was jeremy incredible performance jeremy aren't you a smart little cookie are you the david blaine of remembering the quora what should i have for lunch all right

i feel like we got a quarter double a bit what should i eat you have to say i'm a brooklyn hipster living in parks low what should i eat for lunch okay okay the brooklyn hipster thing is probably going to get us a lot of like how about you have your soy latte how about you eat Avocado toast you fucking Why don't you have the Joe Biden You love so much Why don't you eat Joe Biden's dick Why don't you eat his dick

For lunch Down at 1500 Pennsylvania Avenue Your favorite place Go to the UN And jerk off Kim Jong Un You communist This is a new thing that Republicans say

Okay Make sure you tag lots of people in it You can tag people? Yeah, you can tag people. Yeah, when you post the question, you tag topics and also professionals who may know. Yeah. We may actually just get restaurant recommendations here, which would also be kind of funny. Yeah, which is kind of interesting because then we can eat at them.

Yeah. I think that's a great idea. Yeah, that's fine by me. Brooklyn hipster food that we can eat. Yeah. All right. Well, it sounds good to me. And with that ends another episode of Quarators.

Ryn, we had so much fun on the show today. We want to thank you for coming on. Where can our listeners find you at home and abroad? Thanks so much for having me. You can listen to my other show, Generation Loss, with Jeremy Hammond. You can listen to my other show, Be People At Us, with all the people who are on that show. And you can listen to my band, Sandside.

That's all. All these great products can be yours with the internet. That's right. Be sure to check out the internet. And that's it for us at Quarators. Yeah. Quar... We gotta come up with something.

It's so bad every time. It's been too many episodes. Every time we do this, I'm like, I gotta get a new job.