Quorators - I Committed The Unforgivable Sin w/ Amber Flannery Field

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What happens when a person with a fake leg goes to prison? Was Jesus Christ a cool guy by today's definition? Wouldn't it be weird if people tasted like ice cream? Whites could be vanilla, blacks chocolate, Latinos cinnamon, Asians lemon or caramel and so on ----- Follow Amber on youtube @ AmberFieldEssays COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW AUGUST 5th in NYC https://caveat.nyc/events/quorators-8... Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show on http://youtube.com/@quorators Listen to Alex's audio drama series Theater of Delights  https://soundcloud.com/theaterofdelights/sets/season-5-gran-nidorino

Land ho, Quora sailors! We've got a great live show coming up in New York City, the City of Lights! It said, August 5th, the caveat. Go check the description of this to get a ticket link and come to our live show. And until then... Quor-bye! Quor-bye! Can I sing? You can do whatever you want. this is the podcast about asking questions this is the pod oh no this is awful and we're back

with another episode of quarators the podcast you cannot sing during it's against the rules actually you guys kind of trapped me yeah we tricked you there that's awful you would not want to be caught singing on here well we're your regular hosts this is alex and jeremy how's it going the bash brothers yeah we're the bash brothers you may remember us from raw dog in it last week and we're here with a very special guest all the way from tiktok.com and youtube.com we have the famous amber field america's comic amber hello hi i'm amber flannery field uh if you can't tell by my voice i'm a trans woman i'm on tiktok at america's comic i'm also i do tour guide material and also i'm on youtube i do video essays it sounds boring but this is about whiteness but like you know like

talking about the kia hamster commercials and how that applies to whiteness sometimes whiteness can be fun it can be fun i love talking about race i'm obsessed with it like it's oh my gosh we have a soundboard i love it what else do you have killing spree oh there's a moo it's there's a heavy delay on the moo i tried to get rid of it they wouldn't let me they wouldn't let you they wouldn't let me get rid of the people so that they like the boo that's what they like what this one is oh right right oh is that for like the end where like yeah i'm gonna premiere a new sound that i did last week which is of course godzilla charging up a beam don't be scared it's just a sound do you have any sounds like

from 9-11 from 9-11 yeah that's like my favorite event all right that's them killing that was after 9-11 yeah that's them killing the witnesses after they grounded the plane it's sad but that's what it's from uh well uh amber every week we go on quora.com um and we it's the questions website yeah and we're trying to figure out what it is yeah and that's what the show is and uh we leave a question at the end and then we check in on that but uh have you before we get into this have you spent much time on quora yourself i really don't i don't like the format and interesting reddit is always better for questions for me it's like you just get like the weird condescending directness of reddit versus like and like you

know i think there's a certain part of the internet that you do uh cringe browsing on and like quora doesn't really fill in like i just see a lot of people's moms and like i don't like condescending to like 40, well, I'm almost 40 now. Like, you know, like older. 50-year-old moms. 50-year-old moms. The pathetic. Not the age you are. Some stupid age.

I'm a bunch of losers. Yeah, you know what? But I think you'll be surprised by who the denizens of this fine community that we're going to be going around. They're all good people. And only roughly one-third of them are Nazis. Oh, really? And sex offenders.

but most of them are cops and there's a lot of retired cops who are writing a novel and have seen a ghost and they couldn't shoot it because it was already because it was a ghost which i don't i don't think it was already someone shot by his partner one of my friends was like i was talking about like the idea of like guys hear about like abolishing the police and stuff like that i've heard of it and like one of my friends is like what about like all the rapists and murderers and i'm like well the cops could find some other job to do that yeah a good joke um that's what cops do yeah no i hate the button what else do we want just uh i go to bed at night like fantasizing about like why am i telling you this like

like when you're drifting off like sometimes they tell you to like like like design a box in your head or design a house like mine is like being a serial killer for uh officers I'm like like how I would do it do you have like a calling card no no no people wouldn't know and like I would make it like it would be like this is just to maximize killing yeah yeah it would be framed in a way that like just like creates chaos so like one of them I'd accidentally leave a bunch of drugs there so that people think this guy like the head of the union and then they start like investigating and it just makes everybody paranoid against everybody or like oh no one of them i'd spray paint the word rat and put the word rat in their mouth right that's like the

joker kind of turn on each other's it's kind of i'm the joker baby yeah okay um now we put a question up here not what 25 minutes ago and we're already getting hits baby yeah that's how good we're fucking getting a quorum we um we put the question what is the most powerful type of milk you can drink and it's not necessarily what you guess because we learned whales are very fatty and it tastes like a toothpaste yeah well no they didn't say it tastes like a toothpaste it has the consistency of a toothpaste oh sorry yeah that's different but yeah consistency is so important to me i can't eat a lasagna i can't have a lasagna imagine suckling on a whale's teat we would talk a lot about this yeah it's gonna take up your whole head we're talking about a nipple the size

of a head yeah it's like a plunger i'm asking to imagine the intimacy sure and sorry we're thinking about the logistics yeah yeah but you're talking about like just imagine how sweet it would be to nuzzle up yeah it's like little like mammal water mammal arms you know what i mean like like the flap is holding you and like gently and you can't make eye contact but like you can tell that it's just like looking up and imagine how romantic that is yeah This is a very intimate moment And I want to live in it Alex the next time he has sex

Is going to be like Can you go like It's my new bust noise You know I'm going whale mode Oh god Okay sperm whale We have a bunch of answers to this question That we asked literally like 10 minutes ago

One person says grass-fed A2 milk laced with omega-3 fatty acids. That's so specific for the most powerful milk. Another guy says a mother's milk. Why do humans love drinking another animal's milk? But if offered a woman's milk, they refuse.

That's big facts. Wait, what's that person's job? Because here's the other thing about Whores. They're going to list their job and usually where they live. Their full name. That's the Whores social media. Yeah, this guy lives in Wales and he is a chef. It also says his name is Kogid Kimraig.

He's a Welsh chef. So I don't know if that's like a real name or if he's just like hitting random buttons on there. He's been answering milk questions all day, though. Yeah, he's honestly milk-pilled. Oh, he has a milk allergy. Oh, so this is one wants what one cannot have. Someone asked what color does symbolize milk allergy, and Kogid says, I suffer from milk allergy, and I'm Caucasian if that helps. Which it does.

It does help. It certainly does. Oh, from the mountains. Welcome. All are welcome here in the milk forums. There's one more answer. Someone from Nepal, Patrick Lee, says, All milk are the same.

None are more powerful than another. And powerful is bolded. Brave. Thank you for that. But the answer was obviously the first one, the fatty acid grass milk. Sorry, just kidding. There's three more answers. How are there more answers?

Sorry, I have to continue. When you guys wrote that question, in your head, what does the word powerful mean to you in the context of that question? Well, the question that we were reading last week was about how, if you drank a female blue whale's milk would you become powerful so we wanted to know what's the most powerful milk you could drink what would make you biggest and strongest it's also important to leave your quora questions vague so that more people hop in there to either uh scold you scold you say something unrelated most of the time or just um be mean just be like what kind of

fucking question is that is a lot of answers you suck every time i ask reddit a question i never figure out like the right grammar to like appease their ego so we're like hey i'm trying to do this with photoshop but like i can't really figure out how to do this with my photo that someone just come in the comments like your idea is stupid and you can't edit photos in photoshop and i'm like what damn it yeah i've gotten so many like confidently wrong like oh yeah like just like like like putting cigarettes in my arm online version of that reddit sucks i hate reddit i feel like every time i write i post like a joke on reddit like i'll post like an article i wrote for hard drive yeah and the comments are always like this is so bad it's almost laughable and i'm

like it is yes it is laughable it's a joke is like tiny little kinks yes that constantly like needed to be like appeased to at all times and it's like whatever you post i think it just like encourages like the person who bitches first of all and also it's just like it's fun to bitch so it's just like it's just this like little needling of like like like like you're just being watched like a like you're being watched by a cop in a bathroom you know sure yeah just like oh i don't like the color blue and i'm like is that a problem you want me to call the cops like what's going on i'm bringing up the cops so much today yeah we gotta find some cop questions yeah actually there's something very relevant for that coming right up also just do that right the last yeah well let's

do that next but i i have to say the final answer under answers that need improvement which is a section quora gives to all of the questions uh somebody said all natural milk yeah so the answer to that is all natural milk no that needs improvement one of the most powerful kinds of milk all right should we just go right to the police questions let's get let's jump right to it also i want to preface like i make fun of cops a lot sure but like my dad was a cop so i know what it's like to be beaten by a police officer that's true i feel like this podcast is going to single-handedly prevent you from the serial killing you're aspiring to do because that's just a lot on tape i started since i started transitioning because like i'm why i have the

privilege i just started mean bugging like every cop i walk past in the subway because like like i know my whole family are cops and like they're the most insecure people in the world so like especially like like after george floyd like i don't know who were the ones that were like doing the stuff that the cops during george floyd were doing right in front of us so like you know it's always like just want to like stare these people down like just like you know the way that people stare me down all the time it just like kind of messes with your brain like i'm just like giving the cops the eye like one of my favorites sorry about that i'm just like like i always wanted to talk about this it's just like um columbus circles in new york so like there's just like this like

wide open area and i'm walking like a hundred feet to go to a eyeglass store and there are two cops right at the door and i was just staring at one cop the entire time for like a hundred yard walk and then like like i'm like right next to him with his face right next to me i'm looking right there i could see him like looking at me over the corner of my eye i'm like i won that one it's again just send that energy back at him yeah yeah yeah that's so cool you won that uh this is we had a friend of the show ben waserman on a few weeks ago and he's really aggro at cops which is like okay i support but also like uh the level of conflict it brews on a personal level is like really hard to be relaxed around we'll go to this bar that's like across from a precinct and he's

like yelling at people booking across the street the whole time and i'm like they all have guns we don't i'm very this is i don't feel comfortable yeah but they disarm then like or they shoot at you that's paperwork that's paperwork i mean i don't actually think i'm gonna get shot but it is just like yeah i could just get beat up a little bit that could that could realistically happen i just like i just hate cops so much and it's just like they need to know that like they know the public disapproval does serve a function yeah yeah yeah and it's just like yeah it's just like it's just so weird because like it's just like they're like a they're a tall wall made out of thin material like they they're like tough like look how like invincible

they act which i think like anyone who acts invincible is i think belying like oh that's a deeply insecure person so i think like you hear that the rock i could defeat the rock easily it would be you would simply have to remove one brick at a time yeah this is fortress um let's get into these questions though these are you you'll be interested i do like that we we asked uh have you been on quora and we ended up with i'm having dreams of being a serial killer of cops this is of course our section five quo and this is a fake police sound this is not a real police sound if you're driving it's not a real car do not pull over drive faster also don't pull over we told you not to also like make jittery motions and like reach for it's like just keep reaching yeah reach

for your glove compartment and say hey i'm gonna get my gun yeah jack reacher style i'm gonna get my gum i said gum everyone's so mad at me all right cancel culture's out of control with these cows here's a question from quora can you be a police officer and be an avid bodybuilder too or is it too grueling to balance the bodybuilding lifestyle with a high stress job as a cop? This is one of the great questions of our time. Can you be a police officer

and an avid bodybuilder too? Can you be a big strong cop? It's not allowed, right? I know that if you're too smart they literally will not let you be a cop. They give you a test. If you seem like you're going to be like the death note guy, they won't allow you to have the power. On the

police test they ask if you have a notebook where you could write anyone's name kill them if masterminds are not welcome in this uh precinct um as someone who has once had a planet fitness membership i can tell you there are some very strong policemen out there they're really using the equipment for just like the entire time you want it yeah i think yeah they probably do let you be super fit i'm sure that's allowed uh it's kind of like a diminishing returns thing there's really no reason to ever be as strong as a bodybuilder is except for like pure hubris. Because bodybuilding

is just like, it's like aesthetic, right? Yeah, well, it's about defying God. Well, have you seen that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Is it called Pumping Iron?

It's on YouTube. No, it's Twins. Yes, it's called Twins. Oh, I misspoke. It's pronounced Twins. There's that great scene in it where he talks about how for him,

working out is like coming. Have you guys seen this? Yes, I've seen the clip. It feels like I come. Oh, you should see the film. It's very important. It's on YouTube. have you seen the long goodbye no i don't think i have it's like a detective film sure it's like

really really young schwarzenegger where he's just an extra and they just bring a bunch of thugs into the room he's just standing in the back shirtless it's a great look yeah that's so funny to be like yeah we need extras uh no one who looks normal not like anybody looks like a human being just freaks yeah all right well uh ian miller who's a police officer in la so i'm sure he's a great guy he wrote i'm a cop who works out avidly though i don't compete i still like to stay around 275 280 pounds at six five though the job is stressful i find out i find one of the best stress management tools is working out and staying in shape i've been avidly working out since my time in the marine corps and uh finds it helps me be a better officer rather than drinking alcohol

to blow off steam i just work out it's a great way to make friends blah blah blah and then he has a photo of himself and he's like super jacked he's incredibly strong and he does that instead of drinking alcohol like the guy from the wire yeah that's true he's kind of the opposite of mcnulty from the wire uh and he's incredibly strong wow good for him good good for him that was worth the turn i think you've got a big muscle leave that in so my dad is a cop uh is he jacked he was in the police olympics they have like the olympics for police and he got a gold medal in congratulations it's a shame that they destroyed the city of whoever gets the police olympics that year yeah that's what they get off the podium and they shoot a dog for the what did he get a medal

in uh basketball nice that's pretty good that's one of the cooler ones at the police olympics yeah that is i understand sure i mean yeah i know a guy who got a gold in snowboarding at the police olympics but wow really he was arrested immediately that'd be like the coolest hey kids anyone know where any drugs are uh they all uh all the posts are immediately saying ronnie coleman who i guess is a cop and isn't that guy hey kids i love shredding snow but i want to shred a different type of snow uh you have to tell me is this not the guy who got killed by his wife and was like a crazy abuser? Ronnie Coleman?

I don't know. There was like a Netflix documentary. That might have been a different giant bodybuilding band that's entirely possible. Ronnie Coleman. I only watch Pluto TV. Ronnie Coleman is still alive.

Oh, well, that's not him then. He's a Mr. Olympia title winner eight consecutive years. He's considered the greatest bodybuilder of all time or one of two alongside Arnold. Or one of the least productive cops. I got a Mr. Universe story.

uh i had a friend in community college like you ever have those like like degenerate drunk friends who are just like sure yeah like when you're like 19 or whatever yeah still and uh uh i wasn't there this is how people told me the story but like uh they went to a party of the girlfriend of mr universe that year and uh this guy he's cool until he starts drinking and then he was just a fucking nightmare oh my god and uh he gets like super blasted and the girlfriend says like you do one more thing and then you're out of this house and he just goes like shut up you dumb bitch can i cuss on here or no yeah you're like shut up you dumb bitch and so they throw her out just serial killer conversation we draw the line just trying to kill our nation's finest they throw him out

and just like close the door behind him and then like two hours later he like opens up the window and climbs through the window and is back at the party and uh he said uh she came up to him was like i thought i threw you out he's like i don't care what you think you dumb bitch and then mr universe heard him so i took him by the like uh neck and the belt and just they opened the door and just threw him out like a cowboy he did the looney tunes thing that's awesome the big strong dog from looney tunes yeah that rules yeah i'm glad i couldn't figure out which one it was though so that's a great bouncer to have mr universe and that was ronnie coleman yeah anyway i'm sorry i got that guy from the documentary wrong i'm trying my best i don't know bodybuilders as well as i

could if it's like me with podcasts every time someone gets something factually wrong i get so angry people get pissed well the our like fix for that is that alex and i are so dumb we get so many things wrong those people are long gone right that it really has just weeded out the particulars amber i'm going to tell you to watch your hand because it's the only thing in front of that camera oh i'm so sorry i think i've done that a couple of times i apologize i'm staying in front of it because this happens pretty regularly i think part of that frustration comes from like uh like podcasts are basically like surrogate friends yeah you just put it on so like if you're in a group and you're at a it belies like how you're not actually part of the table yeah i mean

so just like what's that one movie uh harrison ford and he's like wearing that hat you know i'm talking about jones yeah like you don't get it right and you guys like talk about it for like three hours you're like ah i'm just yelling like indiana jones star wars i thought you were referencing a different thing and i thought i was being silly by saying indiana jones but you're gonna be like the fugitives no you were doing the thing that from the podcast he was indiana jones well this is a better police question it's more nuanced and uh you were never a uh a lawyer of any kind for civil... What was Drew

last week? Oh, a public defender? Yeah, Drew was like a public defender or something. We asked a question about prison and he got real sad. But that won't happen now. Is he back in New York? No, he's zoomed in. Although he's visiting soon. Look out for Drew. What happens

when a person with a fake leg goes to prison? I like this one. It sounds like the beginning of a riddle. I think nothing. Can you hide things in your fake leg? Oh, that's interesting. Can you use it as a weapon in the yard? Can you stomp the yard with that fake leg?

So people are upset about this question. One guy says they have a fake leg in prison, moron. And then someone else says, hey, a fake leg. Who has fake legs, which is just who has someone who's just confused. Lots of people do. Somebody who's clearly never met a pirate. Unless they're being like very pedantic where they're like their real leg. They're real wooden legs.

Yeah, they're not bio. And they're in the shape of a peg. And then this answer says their leg gets confiscated and a new fake leg issued. Maybe. Maybe you'll be hopping around for your stay. So this person doesn't even know. They're just like, I don't fucking know. That's how you just assume the person writing the question is like, by the way, I have a fake leg and I'm going to jail tomorrow.

Daniel Demers. She's a single, white, highly educated female with five college degrees. She's a retired tactical analyst and warfare development specialist. Wait, seriously? Yes. I don't like this lady. What do you mean? She's very girl bossy.

She knows how to wage war. I don't trust anyone who has, like, one degree. Yeah, well, because they could outsmart you with their tactics that they've developed on the battlefield. Oh, man. Anyway. Do they have any other good questions? Let's not play that girl in strategic. That's all the answers.

Basically, I guess maybe they'll confiscate it. maybe not yeah but the point is just don't ask this question because people do not like it people are very upset if you want to know what happens if you have a fake leg in prison fake legs are a hot button issue in society right now we simply cannot talk about should i go to the next uh the final police question i think the last one's good all right i had originally saved this for the end so it must be a hot one i hope so uh what would you do if a neighbor used your swimming pool while you weren't home and without permission okay so in this scenario i have a swimming pool and i think that rocks yeah um if a neighbor used my swimming pool when i wasn't home you know what

i see is like the guy who wrote this is like went to his backyard saw evidence that it was there it's like just like writes it angrily just like eyeing his gun i must go to quora.com before we read any of these a bunch of them are going to be like kill those kids you're well within your rights you're assuming they're children too they could be adults they're swimming around in there that's yours i remember i went the trans subreddits are awful i try not to make things about my thing but like they're awful and they're just like have no vision of a world where there's hope it's disgusting and like one of the ask trans subreddits was like uh all this scary stuff happening out there is there anything that we as trans people can do and

instead of saying like collective action or standing up for ourselves or just like direct action, just line after line of like, buy a gun, buy a gun, buy a gun, buy, cause that's kind of like a Reddit thing. And I think it just like, also it's such an immediate relief of a solution. It's kind of like how that weird, like it's easier to picture our solutions, a pull of a trigger than, uh, uh, a bunch of us getting together and trying to like build consensus over what to do about homeless people yeah you know what i mean and like i think like it's weird where like that like harshly defending your property is like such like a weird it's like a spiritual thing yeah yeah absolutely i think everyone here can guess what the next couple of answers are going to be

you know what i mean and it's just like among them many of them are like called the cops over like something that's like a pool yeah well swim in my has to return the water that was on his body as he got out you know hey return your good time yeah that was for me yeah whenever people have that that advice where it's like what do we do as like the climate gets worse and all that stuff it's like just get a gun i'm like i just end up shooting myself in like two months when that happens for like trans people it's like we have like high rates of suicidality and we have like a huge rates of domestic violence like and like also it's just like oh your solution is me get a new expensive hobby that like makes me feel like mask i mean some people feel butch over that

shit but just like hell also like i don't know i'm a quaker i'm gonna have to be a pacifist i'm just like it's good to have god as an excuse for stuff sometimes you know like right yeah also like like last thing on that sorry about that was just like my dad killed a person right and like i saw like i made that joke about like i know it's like to be beaten by a police officer and i think like partly the job created that out of him like what he would do to his community is a reflection of what he would do to a home but also like um i did a prison abolition work and i talked to this one guy who uh got home like um he served his time after taking another person's life like he served decades and he made a point that i don't know if y'all knew this but um the lowest recidivism rate

of all prisoners are the lowest rate of like never repeating a crime again is murder and sexual salt really because like murder you know what it's called like we have a word for somebody who commits multiple murders it's a serial killer and that's a rare thing or a spree killer and like uh he made a point that like inside a prison the people who usually murder people oftentimes are like the best mentors because i quote they're in touch of a level of humanity that not a lot of other people get you know what i mean like understanding like the immediacy of like taking in human life and then not processing it in a safe way leads to like cops or like you know like like that's why kind of like i am non-violent and i am pacifist because like i think anytime you do

violent you have to take into a lot of consideration the act of violence because if you do it upon people it always happens back at yourself like it's it's it's a mere shot but amber yeah what if a neighbor used your swimming pool while you weren't home and without permission then i'd fucking kill him that is your water yeah wait so you don't know until you're tested if you don't let me ask him did your dad kill someone as a police officer yeah yeah no it wasn't a hobby or just like no that was purely personal he was a serial killer killing a bunch of cars he takes the badge off before he does it as i know the story it was um on top of a kmart okay that's all i like you know usa you ever hear about those like um like how veterans only

tell the funny stories you know what i mean like kind of thing i'm just like it's a family thing we don't talk about so i don't know much about it but like he'd have that gun just dangling off his thing i'm like yeah it's still warm oh no um all right let's read some of these answers sorry about that you have to take life try kate mark we are very pro tangent on this podcast okay so there's some pictures of the new social media app yes replacing twitter yeah yeah or you can steal drill tweets and then everyone talks about them i saw that okay on twitter.com yes everybody check out twitter.com i love having a thought and i'm like i should post this across seven websites now i guess man like twitter's like we're one of the places like where you're like really excel with

and i just yeah right yeah i like twitter it used to be fun yeah when did it stop being fun i think it stopped being fun when they made it so that uh if you have a check mark a blue check mark you get comment priority because the fun of twitter used to be like it was a zoo for bad opinions and you'd see like a terrible take where someone was like if you uh date a short person you're a pedophile and then everyone be like you're the dumbest person alive and now all the comments are from people who paid for twitter yeah so all the top comments you see on any bad posts are just like good post dog yeah and it sucks also like um like one of my favorite twitter things is the um uh ladies and gentlemen the weekend sure yeah and like i think that one gets like love him

what the internet gets right which is like dog piles can be good and on the weekend post it'll be a bunch of people just celebrating and creating like sub memes of sub memes of sub memes like there's like a video someone would post of like um like a pa on set of the weekend music video saying like ladies and gentlemen the weekend and then uh there's also margot robbie saying the same thing on saturday night live there's like a gif of like every week it would have this like a gif of um, uh, uh, from downtown Abbey, a lady saying like, what is the weekend? And it's like, everybody's like celebrating and joining together. Or like, I remember like one time, like, um, Jillian Anderson said something and underneath the comments, someone said the horniest thing

is like Jillian Anderson. I smack my meat. I'm 68 years old. I smack my meat to you every day. And everybody's like, just saying like horny police to him right underneath it. It's just like, sometimes it was a great celebration, but now like these guys are cutting in line and you're not really seeing like this like organic celebration anymore like they get served the punch before everybody else does yeah and like it's just like it's such a and also like elon musk's like did you read some of like the um court documents like elon musk had this plan going in he kind of made it up on the fly he's just like i think the advertising model is flat flawed i think that the best way to make money is this like insane makeup make myself feel important plan and so

It's like watching like his like bad idea just be implemented one by one and just like he's fast. He's not fascinating. He's just very boring, but he just demands all the attention. And it's just like he is a true psycho. Yeah. I will say you said a lot of hot takes on this podcast so far, but the only one I've disagreed with is calling a gif jif. Oh, gif jif. I always say gif.

I'm a gif man. Gif. I like on Twitter when you know that smell crazy in there. Say what? Well, it's a picture of anything, and then it says, you know, it smelled crazy in there. Excuse me. Sorry. I have core rated.

You have core rated. I apologize. Go read these. First, one of the top ones is that you can get essentially a fence for your pool. In case they hopped your pool fence, then you put a fence in the pool. And then how are they going to swim in the pool when they can't get through the pool fence? Like it's a horizontal fence. What happens if the fence starts swimming?

It's always swimming. It's in the water. It's like chains over the fucking water. Yeah, it's like a fortress wall for your pool. That's so dark. Yeah, it's like I can't trust anyone, and I own water at my house. And then it's like also get a dog that kills. And so that's one of the answers.

What is being taken away from this guy? His water. The splash of good time. Yeah, it's just like if he never found out, it won't affect his entire life. No. Do you think pools can only hold so many good times? when you buy a pool there's a set limit

of fun you can have in it that sounds like a poem like a really bad one you should be embarrassed you should go back to poetry school how many laughs are in a pool

this is by also wait wait wait also is this above ground or below ground we don't know that's a good question but like I think that changes the stakes

we're assuming below ground right because those are the good ones right yeah those are the good ones I mean we're not we're talking about a nice pool right oh yeah

at Alex's hypothetical house I mean, yeah, my hypothetical house, if you've gotten past the Gators, have fun. Okay, this is a response from Diana, who lives in Oregon since 1962. Well, first time I yelled at kids, and it was very loud, as a few of my neighbors heard me. Well, parents came over, and I told them to keep their brats off my property. I hate this woman. Next time I'll go lock them in and call police and press charges. Well, we were gone, and they cut the lock on my fence, and kids in my pool put it,

but a neighbor asked to borrow my truck, so kids' parents thought I was gone. Well, I called cops, and I put four heavy planters at the gate, so kids couldn't get out when cops showed up. Why is she making this a nightmare for herself? I like that they're like, it's a game for them now. Can you get in this pool? Also, I see her getting angry.

She's having a post-traumatic stress thing. She's reliving this as she's writing it. We don't need any of this information. Oh, wait, you have to keep reading this. Keep going. Sorry. When you're in jail, by the way, you do not want pool swimming on your rap sheet because those guys have the hardest time. Well, have you said that yet?

That's the third lowest recidivism rate is pool offenders. If you done went swimming at the wrong hole. Well, two kids aged 17 and 18 got taken to jail, and the other three under 10 got taken by protective services. The reason they got taken away, mom and dad were not home, and they told cops mom and dad opened the gate and said it was okay until I got home. I'm older, too, charged with breaking into my pool and drinking beer and had cigarettes, but not from my property. Kids didn't know I was home until cops arrived. Wow. That's a shooty person.

That's a genuinely like... Let me see this. These kids went into the system because of her pool? None of this is real. There's no way that the cops are putting two people in jail. They're like, we're going to send these kids to jail, ma'am. They're like, all right, just get the fuck out of here. I don't think that they went to...

Pool crime. You never splash even once. Hello. What you gonna do? I don't think that the older ones went to jail, but I do believe it was probably a bitch to get those kids back from Child Protection Services after that whole exchange.

Yeah, also a good chance it's a lie. Good. I hope so. People do be lying on here quite half-heartedly. I just want to read more of this woman's answer. Someone said, can someone put a microphone in your house and not get in trouble?

Diana says, you find a microphone or camera in your house and it's time to really have tons of fun with them. camera cover it after turning lights out then get a super x-rated movie or worse than chainsaw masker movie and let camera film it over and over keep it going for days so they come back and asking for camera back or they come looking for it if it's a mic put on porn and let them listen to it for or a good crime show or record kids screaming and play that over and over for mike thanks diane this woman has both a very large and limited imagination a lot of volume not

a lot of substance probably like a porn or crime show uh yeah i left my camera over here have you been playing texas chainsaw massacre on loop for 72 hours she hands all of her answers are like in my head i'm listening to them like it's uh philip seymour hoffman and mission impossible three which is like put a crime put a crime show on porn on the microphone you know my favorite philip seymour i can't do it i wish i could um have you ever seen sydney or heart eight no oh you have to there's like a scene where like like um phil baker hall he's like a old gambling pro like he's like a professional gambler and he hits his rock bottom and he's at the craps table and like it's just philip seymour hoff is playing like just like the most like skeevy kind of fratty and

like he's like just like keep on talking up uh phil baker hall is like all right we're gonna roll these bones we're gonna roll these bones whoo whoo what you gonna do my old man it's like like weirdly like uh uh like like that weird masculine uh just aggression that always like turns back at itself you know what i mean it's just like like like um i got harassed in the subway a while back and like he started yelling at me here online of like um like you're not like i've never gotten harassment like i've gotten harassed all the time but i never gotten people say like you'll never be a real woman i'm like sure that's a new one yeah like i always like that's weird outside of the internet it's so weird and like in new york and like i end up

clapping back at the guy i go like like you don't say that and like part of my thing i do is like i draw a crowd so that way like i'm safe and like you shame and then like one of the lines i throw out is like you're insecure it goes like yeah i'm insecure i'm like yeah say that about yourself say that about yourself over and over and then he just like gets like all glassy eyed and he starts like looking out of the distance and he's like yeah yeah he refuses to look oh my god he goes like yeah yeah yeah i'm i'm insecure yeah yeah i'm insecure oh no yeah i'm insecure and then like like thank god this like like this woman like kind of like was clapping back at her she's like oh i gotta be an ally i'm like i'm like so then it gave him a chance to not focus on me anymore and by

then i'm like i ran out of like performance like now you just have to like robin williams him and goodwill hunting and um she was like coming up to him and clapping at him he goes like no is that you don't get about these trans people here let me show you and gets on his phone and he like he like gets on his facebook and starts scrolling at it and like he shows her this video and she I was like what what am I looking at so it went from this like heightened situation

everyone looking at us in the subway to the most awkward thing in the world which is somebody showing you a video on your phone hold on wait

please don't destroy it has a really funny sketch he's like yeah it says uh uh uh we're coming for your kids don't you get it and she's like

what are you talking about like I don't understand and by then my train arrived and then like I tried to get one in I'm really good at this shit like clapping back but like you're not

gonna 100% 100% of the time so like I just like Yeah, we're coming for our kids. Oh, wait, shit. My subway's here. I mean, I was on the subway. It was amazing.

I love it. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah! Oh! Do you have Austin Powers? We do. We do.

Are we playing the segment this time? Oh, shit! Oh, I'm sorry. Wrong board. Wrong board. I know it's a pink button. Oh, but you don't have him saying, like, yeah, baby? No, we just have this.

No, I never thought to get that. You should have him say, like, do I make you horny, baby? Yeah. Yeah, baby has never come up. of just Austin Powers. He has so many catchphrases. That dude looks like a woman. What was it?

That man is a lady. Like me. Sure. The thing is, oftentimes on Quora, people need to behave and they need to be reminded to do it.

This woman, she seems a little Many things are groovy. horny. Oh, behave. Do you think she's sapphic? What a clever man that is. Where's another one

to go to here? Let's do Quilosophy next. Okay. So this is like no so here in quilosophy we tackle the hardest questions there are the great questions of time and like things that are like what the hell and stuff like that yeah yeah and so this is um i know where i put this no this is a philosophy question for sure thank you jerry this is the modern backing plato you're welcome i mean you guys are comedians and comedians are the modern

day philosophers and thank you for saying that many of them fuck teenagers and dirty dogs got to go back to the pound yeah anyway uh the question is how do you do we as the modern day philosopher oh sorry please it's the only one who can read rap lyrics it's imagine you know like i talked to like uh like during covid like i was still like uh stutter steps and tender toes and like doing comedy but like i just i'm not doing it anymore sure yeah and like who is like i was like just talking to people in community like like in like a proto-organizing sense of just like why don't we just talk about the problems of community because i think like comedy for better for worse is kind of a community and like like i was talking to like

a couple women about like me too and they kind of made a good point about like um like like me too is kind of weird because it's just like now we know who all the problem people are but there's no accountability so now you just share green rooms with them it's just like it's just it's it's like uh i'm not cynical i'm happy that shit happened but it's just also like i kind of question like where do you go it's like ah you're a rapist and the guy's like no it's like here's the receipts and like everyone's like oh yeah that guy's a rapist i'm over that anyways i'm gonna go back over there yeah get on that stage and be like i stopped doing that because everyone yelled at me yeah stop raping i mean he's like did you know that rapists have

the second lowest recidivism rate. They kind of get humanity more than other people. They've been murderers. Anyway, this Quora is, how do you tell someone their name is wrong? People used to tell my dad his name is wrong all the time. What's your dad's name? My dad's name is Jed,

and very often people will be like, Jay? And he's like, no. I grew up near a Jed, so I recognize Jed. If I heard like, oh, I'm Greb or something, I'd be like, no, your name is wrong. It's Greg.

People think my dad's name is Jeb or Jay a lot. Is your dad's name an acronym or is it Jedediah? No, just Jed. Is it a short for sign thing? Just Jed. He could be Big Jay. He could be Big Jay. He could be Jay Money.

Jay Dog? I'm Jay Money. Well, you could decide. Please, Jay Money is my father. He has a ring that says JK on it. And he could gift it to me. And that's why you're a comedian. Yeah.

Because you love jokes so much. We just joke all the time. I was going to say he loves Harry Potter. Where do you get your humor from? My dad often tries to tell me that he's funnier than I am. Is he, like, funny? I think he's pretty funny. Yeah.

He's hilarious. See, the thing is, the conflict in the house is what breeds it. Yeah, that's true. Who's going to wear the hat? Who's going to wear the man's hat of the home? We all just bully my mom. Yeah. That's what we do.

You two go too far. We do. She gets upset. My cousin was visiting, and, like, we were just, like, ripping each other apart the whole time. I know this is a family dynamic that's, like, with y'all, but, like, yeah, we were just, like, ripping each other apart the whole time. And then like a stranger sees us. I'm like, like, like, like my roommate was like, you say that to your cousin? Like, that's horrible.

And I'm like, yeah, I don't know. It just isn't how it is. I'm pretty mean in my family. My family like yells a lot, but not like in a funny way, like in a, like, I asked you to do the dishes and now we're screaming for no reason kind of thing. We always just make fun of my mom. I always make fun of my mom for falling asleep while watching the matrix one time. And she gets really mad.

She's like, I had already seen it. Caught in 4k. Caught in 4k. All the time, I would just be like, you fall asleep wandering in the Matrix when I was like five. That's adorable. I love that. Those are the kind of jokes we say to my mom when we bully her.

My old ball and chain, she fell asleep at the Avengers in the movie theater. I call my mom the old ball and chain. We have a disturbing relationship. I met my wife, who is literally behind that wall that I'm pointing at right there. She fell asleep at the Avengers in a movie theater, which is just impressive based on

how loud a room can get. i had to watch morbius for a podcast and um my wife came with me and went to sleep like she did she was like i'll go but i'm gonna go to sleep does morbius i haven't seen morbius does he access you through the dreams no no sorry it wasn't tied in morbius's thing is that he's a science vampire it's like you know how vampires are fun because they're like gothic and evil he just does science to himself to become a vampire he has like those signs in front of his house like every other spider-man villain yeah yeah and then he um he he's invented a type of uh artificial blood that he can drink but it's not good enough it's not good enough so then whose blood does he drink

he's gonna start after drinking start drinking real blood how do i tell him his name is a fake name morbius yeah how do i tell morbius his name well you wouldn't say it to him well i would say it to him i don't i got no filter i'm from boston morbius was a hot moment in meme culture i felt Like, there's, like, a couple, like, I don't know what it was. It was, like, right around when Elon bought Twitter. Right. And I don't know what about it. It also was, like.

I think it just sounds fake. It just sounds like a not real thing. Because everyone's, like, oh, cool, Morbius the Living Vampire is coming out. It's also a dog pile. Everyone's, like, enjoying shitting on it. You know what I mean? And just, like, enjoying, like, making up a fiction among ourselves. It's, like, when you're, like.

Well, it made more billion dollars. That's why it was named more billion dollars. But you know what? The thing is, I didn't enjoy the memes that much. But I do very much enjoy the film, which is very good. They convinced the movie executives to put it back in theaters. So, Alex, are you telling me that the ends justify the memes? Oh, there you go.

I am. And that's the name of the Amber's new show. That's what this whole thing was about. At the end of the day, that's what the whole thing. What are people saying about the name question? Am I wrong for wanting to know the name question? I forgot the name question. The question is, how do you tell someone their name is wrong?

That is very philosophical because it's like a broken concept. Their name is wrong. Like if my name was like Elex or something. I think all names are beautiful. They're the first poem a parent wrote for their child. No names can be wrong. No. Wrong and broken.

Everyone's just confused. Twisted tools of the devil and Morningstar. People are just like, what do you mean? Oh, I know what we were going to do. And then a lot of people are giving examples. One guy says, for 60 years, my surname has always been Sean. and it's like all right well no one cares dude yeah mr sean sounds like your name is incorrect i am sean someone says uh you don't what are you the name police

police you are not recovered from that one god damn they're on a different tab this is not real you're not being pulled over if you are listening to the podcast while driving to work this is fake we're just playing around we're just We're just fucking around. We're just fucking around. I like attention. But you feel that tension you still feel as soon as you hear the sirens because you're conditioned to feel that way because they have authority over us.

So it's your job to undermine it and disrespect it. Until Amber kills them all. Uh-huh, honey. I can't find anything about it that's interesting. I've decided it's time to move on. Okay, please. Now, Amber is a knowledgeable guest, and her mind covers many topics, But few guests are prepared for this next segment, which is, of course, Corbidin Fruit.

It's a religion segment, and we've already used this one, but that's okay. But it is kind of the best one for this situation, isn't it? Oh, wait, no, there's another good quilosophy. We'll come back to those. Thank God it's the same sound. Can you guys do a podcast pivot and become like a soundboard show? We already have. We're way ahead of you.

This is just like Morning Zoo. That's enough. all you need is just like one person to pretend not to get things yeah yeah or we had different styles on that um okay so these are important religious texts and um kind of it gets to the ethos of what is the seed of adam and uh this question is uh was jesus christ a cool guy by today's definition is jesus christ a cool guy cool guy amber oh god i'm gonna answer sincerely i mean like what is cool i'm talking that's true we're talking like uh robert bobby denaro would jesus christ respect women would he wear like sunglasses i i you know like when i talk

with kids because that's my job simpson i think there's like two types of cool i think there's like like uh aloof hipster cool and then there's like surfer cool sure and like like aloof hipster cool is like clicky person who's about being exclusive so everybody desperately wants their thing and like that's like a unsustainable social group it's usually like one person in the middle who's like pretty chill and then everyone around them is the guard dog right and like it just drives everyone insane that's alex for us the other one is like surfer cool who's just like really really relaxing themselves that makes everybody else relax and has like like long hair and just is like really accommodating and has a job like getting people kittens you know what i mean sure

That's an interesting take on Surfer Cool As a kitten getting job Hey what's up I got a whole box of these I don't know what to do with them I run out of my church I can name his name Isaac just like long hair

His head's always like bobbing He's always agreeing with the vibes Of what's happening The guy who shows up These kids need something at all times So he always shows up with his fucking cube truck And be all like yeah, I got you like five guitars. You guys need

guitars, right? We didn't even ask for them. Thank you. And stuff like that. It's like really, I like that kid. So what do you think if Jesus Christ was around today, he'd be like Isaac? He'd be like Isaac or Bart Simpson. He's got long hair. I think Jesus, like, I mean, I go to Quaker church. I think of the character of Jesus

as... Yeah, I guess, is it historical Jesus or is it... Like the white Jesus? Yeah. I mean, I think of him as an angry guy. Sure. Interesting. I think he's like inherently got like charisma and so like there's that but like he has that type of cool that you can't really like capitalize on and just inherently a lot of people are just drawn to him but it's not like like the the people who print the t-shirts after he dies are the ones who like own like soho cool

and commodified cool and like he can never have that so like in his time like he wouldn't be the person that like everybody well like he was like the guy who had the followers and shit but he's not like he wouldn't fit in in a Bushwick club. He did have followers. Yeah. He had a lot of clout. Yeah. So he'd be country cool. Yeah. I think like historical Jesus

because he was like a cranky Jewish guy would be a lot like Larry David. Oh my god. Oh. He'd be stuck in a lot of awkward situations. Yeah. And he'd have like such good opinions about them that people would be like I'm gonna form a religion around you. I love him fucking up the market. Like that's my favorite story because it's just such like a rage thing, you know?

And just like, yeah, I don't know. It's just like a lot. Because he's like the lamb, but he can go on. Right, yeah. And he doesn't like when people cut in line. Do you guys know how goats are like actually one of the most dangerous animals? Like I feel like because he's a dangerous lamb,

he's like a mountain goat. Does that make sense? Is that tracking? No, I don't think so at all. Alex, he is the mountain goat? That makes no sense. He's like John Darnielle. He is the sun and he is the mountain goat.

And he is the gift and he is the way. Have you read this book, The Bibble? oh my mic drop on that one ambers put down the mic well wait i gotta take off my glasses to say have you read that book the bibble oh no i'm gonna break my glasses wait that's what you get this is what you get for the disrespect you give me uh well we got we got a lot of people saying hell yeah uh a bond says, yeah, dude, obvs. He wore sandals, gave no rips about

anything, turned non-drugs into drugs and struggled with grooming. A religion even formed around him. Struggled with grooming? Okay, so the modern word grooming is different. Nowadays, we all know grooming to of course mean tricking children into loving you. Yeah, or when you date somebody who's six

months older than you, like Jeremy. Yes, like I am. And then you marry them. Yeah. Wait, is this a thing? My wife is six months younger than me. Oh, that's disgusting. Gross. really fucked up um power dynamic but in the past it meant um washing yourself oh yeah for sure remember that oh wow anyway this guy says imagine jeff will uh jeff bridges in the big lebowski but less fat darker complex uh complexion more mellow doesn't bowl and is

still friends with steve buscemi and john goodman yeah i like uh the big lebowski he's too fat I can't really connect with the guy All those white Russians are going right to his thighs What if the white Russians were made with Whale milk Oh my god It would be thick as toothpaste Jeremy It would be thick as toothpaste

Oh my god imagine him like It spills on his And just like ropey chism all over his face Yeah dude This guy Ed says no He says not likely He's a thorn in the side of politicians and such.

This one has great phrasing on it, and I would like to cover it if we can. This one's from Studley in Discord. It says, I committed the unforgivable sin. I am 12 years old. What should I do? I am hopeless.

What does this mean? Did he kill someone? He's committed the unforgivable sin. He probably stole some candy from a grocery store. He just wanted to swim in his neighbor's pool. He thought they weren't home, but they just blended their truck. What do I do? The crime and misdemeanors of...

I only have one leg. They all tie together. Yeah. Callbacks. We all make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Catholic alert. Lay Mac says, there's no sin that is unforgivable.

Ask God for forgiveness for this sin you have committed. Oh, church. Speak on it, Lay Mac. Go off. um yeah that's big fact and um also dying to know what the sin is but it's not what the question is the question is uh i i am hopeless what should i somber says listen son if you mean the blasphemy against the holy spirit what jesus said in matthew 12 31 it is not what you think in the first place because i am catholic i will tell you our answer the blasphemy against the holy spirit is not

saying something bad about him or use his name in blasphemy don't get me wrong it is a big sin but It isn't unforgivable. The blasphemy that Jesus was talking about was those people who don't want to regret their sins and turn to God. It is like when an ill person doesn't want to take the medicine. God can forgive us if we allow him to do it. Let me interrupt you. This is by Zombor Horvath. Oh, Zombor?

Oh, my gosh. I haven't seen Zombor in forever. Oh, my gosh. He knows French. Remember he used to hang out with Zipith? Don't try to talk shit about Zalmore in French Because he knows everything you're saying He knows all that shit you're talking

Anyway Yeah, people are saying you gotta pray and shit And turn around Also, pick your head up, young king Yeah Pick your head up Hey, brother Hey, brother

Hey, son I know you killed that village That innocent village He said it was blasphemy against the Holy Spirit People hate that No, that's by Nezuko Chan. I think that's who asked the question. That's who asked the question.

Oh, Nezuko Chan said that? Yeah, dude. She's already half demon. Yeah, look. She can't go in sunlight. What's happening to a 13-year-old that he's cursing God? I don't know. I think being a demon is a sin against God.

Just like adding a 12-year-old being like, God freaking stinks. No. What have I done? No. Also, I killed someone. I have a good one to end on here. Okay. This is back at Quilosophy, and I got excited.

Go for it. Can I hit one of them? Yeah, please. Please hit one of them. Oh, it's not like... Some of them are delays. There's a train. That one's a train.

They will stack if you hit them. That's enough. This is terrible. This is the worst thing we've ever done. That's enough. This is so much fun. I think... I'm so sorry.

Wait, you can turn it on and off? It depends on the sound. The short ones loop. everyone stop touching the board this is why i'm the only one who touches the board that's if i start like unplugging stuff oh that would be bad please don't do that i just threw the camera out the window please don't do that i love chaos i would only blame jeremy but uh so this is gonna be i think this is the last one of the day uh this is from controversial chat which is an interesting community controversial chat.quora.com the place where controversial

opinion is welcome and the question is wouldn't it be weird now if people tasted like ice cream whites could be vanilla blacks chocolate latinos cinnamon asians lemon or caramel and so on wow this is like someone watching south park for the first time like i've got a joke what like What rich racism. I like that Asians are lemon or if that was offensive, caramel. It's racism that's like very textured. It's like the wheel's milk thing again. This is like a 14-year-old trying to write a stand-up joke.

This is what this is, right? Imagine if whites were vanilla. What if people tasted like ice cream? Yeah, put sprinkles on them. I love, like, something I don't miss about open mics is like early, like if you're new to it you gotta you figure out that it's easier to be provocative than to be good so you either do really really base puns or you do like the most offensive jokes and like stuff that's like not well structured hard to follow the logic of and also like offensive in a way

that makes everybody tense up and they're just like what because you guys are gonna laugh at that i'm like yeah it's very convenient everyone here hates ice cream it's like no that's not what it was everybody tense here i don't know i am very interested i just want to know if white people would be vanilla i am very interested in seeing what these questions oh i love quora so much someone's saying actually they will all be chocolate chocolate colors correspond with human colors very well are you um actually what if races were ice cream is this the top thing i mean there are more kinds of chocolate than i knew about i'll give them that There's a lot of yummy kinds

One of them is called Black Sea Because it actually has one color Brown with various shades Depending on the amount of cocoa power Analogous to the amount of brown melanin I don't think chocolate is based on melanin What is the name, police? By the way, I've been working on my thesis

On chocolate races Oh my god Come on now This is from Michael D Come on now Aborigines would be caramel tasting ones or maybe the native americans what if you wanted neapolitan which i never wanted to see the face of people who use something online so badly because you can see this guy you can click

on michael d see this is a bad habit jeremy has uh he wants to zoom every again also every single one of these i can't picture people using their phone like i picture them like hemp pecking with their fingers oh this is with a typewriter this is classically written out and passed to his secretary he's like telling his daughter to write it out he's like all right this is what you're right he's like i don't know dad tell him about aborigines now hold on hold on don't close this because i want to say michael d we don't have a photo of his face unfortunately but we can tell you that he lives in minnesota and he likes cats loves the blues but jazz gives him a headache is he white i've never heard that i mean we know he loves the blues but jazz gives him a headache

he's lived in minnesota his whole life uh his other questions include what's the best way to talk to a neighbor about their dog i'm a cat lover uh what are the chances of a dancer completely recovering from their injuries so this is all over the place we're not getting anything out of this i got this theory that last question made me think of a theory of like i think like how we use the internet is like there's only two types of knowledge there's like like fact knowledge and like like like just more like vague just like experience knowledge and like we always use the internet we think the internet can answer all of it but it can only be good at the first thing so like all the time we ask the internet is like hey how do you be a baker you know we ask them how to

do a cake it can tell you that it can't tell you how to be a baker and it'll tell you like if you got a crush on sam it'll tell you sam's phone number or like social media but it won't tell you why sam doesn't love you but like people just scream into the internet it's like so how does a girl how do you get a girl to love you love me why don't sam love me people give like the most obtuse like weird because they get to be on that position of like higher thing to answer a question that's unanswerable other than just the mileage of living so they're just like well you know maybe you can go up to her and like get to know her a lot better and then it's just like thank you margaret from yzetta uh this is a the only

answer here i'd like to harm uh highlight is by tony turtle that says marmite sandwich anyone and i don't know what that means so the question was um like uh what would it be like if people were like ice cream i think asian people would be like caramel and this guy paul wright says chocolate test like shit unless sweetened with sugar it's like all right yeah i guess yeah i get sure that feels racist don't be weird vanilla cinnamon and lemon have a good taste without added sugar not weird but an accurate metaphor for flavor and race and it's what is that the most racist thing i've ever heard it was racist because it was flavorful is the answer i think the racist button yeah oh that's enough oh that's pretty good that's good yeah um this guy's answer is

basically like no that's a very normal question but i do want to say i dislike black people no it's not weird i guess is the answer uh all right well okay well that's a quora do you want to ask i want to platform these people more often uh is there some kind of metaphor for menage a trois ha ha tony turtle tony turtle you're so funny all right does he pictures where's he from what's his job uh he's an artist and he's from cotswolds gloucester it's it's jeff koons that racist i think quora is real big in the uk as well yeah also like don't tell me if i said that wrong i don't care gloucestershire i'm from grouchestire Oh, have you locked up with Tony Turtle?

All right, let's ask a question. That's enough. That's enough. Let's do it. Our question for the week. What's going to be the topic? Do you have any questions? Fucking fuck.

Will I ever get a chance to see my son again? Okay. You know what? Do I, too. Let's just make this about everybody. Will I get a chance to see my son again? Yeah. Don't say, will Amber get a chance to see her son again?

That's going to be confusing. No, no, no, no. Yeah, just like, will I get a chance to see my son ever again? Will I get a chance to see my son ever again? Good. Cut it. Print it. All right.

In the meantime, that's been the dang show. Quick show. Amberfield, Adam Erickson's comic on TikTok, Amberfield essays on YouTube, YouTube video essays on just politics and stuff. And TikTok's awful and I hate it, but I get clout and I get bookings through tour guide stuff. so I'm yoked to it in a way I despise

you also gotta come to the Quarator's live show August 5th at Caveat Theater and Lounge and Bar it's none of those

and the link is in the description and if you don't come I'm gonna be so fucking mad Alex is gonna beat you up I'm gonna find you

based on your Quora account that's the bottom line cause Don Gold said so no that's not that's enough that's a moo stop hitting it

you're making it take longer that's it oh that's the show