Quorators - Is ADHD real? w/ Lucas Connolly

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What is the weirdest smell you have ever smelled? I have a weird sexual fetish? Should I kill myself? What is it like to be a male misandrist? Watch the show on youtube.com/@quorators Follow Lucas on social media @ LovableLucas Support the kickstarter for Theater of Delights Season 5 https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/theaterofdelights/theater-of-delights-season-5

Let's go. It's Quarators. We're back again. The hottest Quar is brought to your door. Your Quarator. All right. We're your hosts, Jeremy and Alex. Hey, how's it going? Hello.

You want to hear about Quora.com? Yeah, you're in the right place. You're in the right place, Mac. The first ever podcast about Quora. This is the only podcast that's found the website Quora. Welcome to the show. We have an incredible guest for you this week. Now, you've probably been, if you're a listener at home, you've probably been to a barbecue.

Oh, yeah. Probably seen a steak get a sear, but have you seen a crowd get a sear? That's right. We have the roast master of Brooklyn. What? He's not afraid to do crowd work to you and to really sear your steak. We got Lucas Connelly. Hey, what's up, pussies?

Do you think of yourself as like a roasting comedian? No, I don't. That's why I was like, oh. Lucas, more than any other comedian I've ever known, will threaten to kill himself on stage. That's the opposite of roasting, though. No, people are scared of that. That's a self-roast.

That's right. It's like the smile monster. They think it will follow them for the rest of their lives. I've never done have you guys done roast comedy oh yeah I've never done one

we used to go to the same ones the shitty underground not roast masters fight club fight club yeah fight club

I've never done fight club you've never done fight club no I did all the legit ones which got put

on the internet while I was bombing yeah no don't watch this one Lucas says nerd tries to defeat Prego

yeah they're brutal though so they try to make them like porn titles yeah yeah i felt really bad about this but i used to have a link on my website because i just didn't have any good videos of myself because it was so annoying to set up a video before you do your stand-up yeah that one of my best videos was like a roast set that did really well against uh comedian danny vega who was just a friend of mine and was hanging out we were roasting i was roasting his ass on camera and then he sent me a message like a few years after this came out that was like could you stop linking to this roast of me on your website my big credit no one knows who i am you don't need to be mean to be publicly on the poster just as like alex patak parentheses mean to his friend

takes down famous comedian was it like an official like roast battle or is it just like you guys hanging out no it was it was for fight club oh okay okay who left a camera running which is why it was one of the like three videos uh but yes that was very mean of me and i'm sorry danny i'm sorry danny hosts a reddit podcast now another website-based podcast it's so sad what people it's sad and cringe and sheesh and pause lucas yeah have you been on quora i i think i've seen clips of our podcast no i've seen like people like post a picture of quora if you've seen clips of Quora, you are not on the correct one.

That's the website where a stepsister gets stuck in the dryer all the time. Is that the one where Master Chief is fighting other Master Chiefs? Quora? But yeah, I've seen a picture on Reddit where they're like, look at this crazy question.

Yeah, that's right. That's the website. That's all you need to know, really. We are fully prepared for someone to come on here and not know what Quora is because it doesn't matter at all. It's a stupid website, and we're going to make fun of it. Unless you use it, and then it's a really good one. We want you to keep doing it.

Keep doing that. Make sure to give us up Quoras and re-Quoras. Yeah. And that's a great transition. Quora gold. Please send us Quora gold. Send us Quora gold. Thank you for the Quora gold, stranger.

This is a great transition to our first segment, where every week we write a Quora at the end of the episode, and then we see who answered it. And this week, zero people answered our question. No responses. Because they were too scared. Because the question is, how do I know if anybody wants to sleep with me? And I think the answer is that they were like, they want to fuck you out.

Yeah, you'll know. I can't even write about it because it's so obvious. I thought we'd at least get a few people to be mean to us about this. Yeah, no, no one cared. This seemed like it was really engagement farming. You don't think it's subjective? That's the problem? If it's too specific, that's also a problem.

We ask, where in Brooklyn should I get food? And everyone's like, ignore this. Do not enter this Quora. Who's hot? That's what I would be like, who is this hot person? I think it's someone who wants to have sex with me. Yeah, they're all hot. I find their attraction to me very attractive.

I'm the loneliest man on Quora. That cannot be true. So I regretted it the second I said it. That's not even remotely true. Nope. Can you just be like, hey, why won't anyone come to my address? That'll be our question at the end of the episode. We just post Alex's real address.

Please do not post my address. I really do not want that information specifically on here. I know it's probably all over the internet. My address is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Will you come murder me? Please murder me. Take my cat. Anyway, so that's that.

Yeah, we'll do another quarter at the end of the show with the lessons we've learned along the way and maybe with some new friends we've picked up. Fantastic. I mean, probably not. I don't know how that would happen. Well, you have to give out your address first. I really just want to hedge away from giving out my address.

Just let's get in front of that now. One time I was doing a live stream on Twitch and I opened up Google Maps and it just said home, like where my house was on the stream and i was like nobody look at that please uh-oh doxed myself with a map come to jeremy's house yeah this is is this too stupid to bring up i've been uh learning japanese since kovat happened too stupid get rid of it it's been three years i've made very little progress but something i've uh found out is that it's apparently very common in japan to ask someone to draw you a map oh yeah i've done that like just be like i'm lost

to draw me a map and they're like yeah fine you'll probably get out by fucking map making and then i've learned how to like draw all the little like characters or whatever i'm like this is why everyone could draw the map this is very difficult our children are stupid it turns out i took chinese in college yeah can you draw a map no oh there goes it was a mandarin chinese class and i found out when i took it that i was the only one there who didn't already speak Cantonese and they're like this is gonna be really easy it's just like Cantonese and I was like well fuck me Cantonese and they were mean to me about it the teacher was like why are you so bad at this a spot who's never been to the Canton district

is that a district yeah okay sick sick uh all right well let's get into some quoras and we'll see if this map business organically pops up again what should we start with this is our police Quora's segment. Again, sorry if you're driving a car. This is part of the podcast. It's not an ambulance behind you. It's part of the podcast. I've named the segment 5 Quo.

That can't be the name of it, right? Like 5-0. I didn't even get it. That's how dumb I am. That's how dumb Lucas is. What an idiot. Not to exaggerate, but he's the kind of guy who hears 5 Quo and doesn't know

what it means. I was like, man, that guy seems like he headlines all over the country. Oh, yeah. I love five quote. Big fan. The five quotes. We've just answered so many. We got tired of putting all the police questions into the mythological creatures segment and have given them their own.

Well, Alex doesn't think they exist. Cops. Yeah. I like that. Never seen one. I'll believe it when I see it. And that's white privilege. I can't see the police.

Drop the white privilege sound effects. How did you know? Oh, wait, I got it. That's enough. Okay, never forget that other word I had. What is this? Sorry. The FBI raids your house, takes your computers,

then comes back 24 hours later with all your computer equipment and even sets it all back up for you and tells you they hit the wrong house. Do you keep your equipment or throw it away? That is a good question. It's a really good question. It's maybe not funny enough because of how much thought it speculates. I think I would just start figuring out how to use Bitcoin and use multiple wallets and try to really make sure that they come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the situation is that you are minding your own business at your house with your assumed several computers set up at your hacker station. And then they come and they take all those computers and then they give them back. and realistically although you shouldn't use any of these things because it's some kind of trap that they're laying for you i feel like i am lazy enough where i'd be like thank god they brought these back yeah i feel like i do not want to buy another who you are like us like they're not going to be like we're spying on alex patak's japanese lessons they could if you're like in the black panthers or something sure get rid of the computer but like i don't know we're gonna need you to draw us a map fit right back in let me ask you a question she's a little cocky moscow

he's like a big pudgy white guy uh yeah i'm you know what i mean though like they're not gonna be like looking up by like hearthstone builds i've done enough things on facebook incorrectly where i feel like i'm on police lists like i think i'm like i have a file at the nsa under stupid idiots or something yeah like there was a year i mean you know about this where i think like 2016 i just started adding as many pakistanis on facebook as i could as a joke because they all said yes and were really excited to talk with me uh but then like my facebook feed is now like one half strangers in pakistan some of them are like i'm in isis or whatever and so i bet i am on a list for something

along those lines but uh it was actually i was doing your show and this guy was in the crowd who was like a... He said he was a billionaire and that he was going from town to town around the world asking people to add him on Facebook. And I went to all his friends and I started adding them. And then it really got out of control.

Is this familiar to you at all? I kind of remember this guy being a psycho. Did he not want to add you on Facebook? Because he had a lot of friends. I'm willing to believe. This is a powerful, evil man. This was at a stand-up show?

Yeah. Is that one of his famous roasts? There Lucas was, taking him down. Did you roast this man? Knowing me, yeah. I probably told him that he wasn't being a good audience member and that I'm obviously very good at this. It can't be me.

There was Lucas threatening to kill himself on stage. In front of a crowd that was like four women in New York and then one Pakistani billionaire. And then we all became friends on Facebook. Wait, he's a billionaire, but he got enticed by being like, free beer, free show. That's where all the culture is in Williamsburg, is at the pizza store on Tuesdays. It's Wednesdays now. Well, back then it was Tuesday, so I will not be editing it.

We record on one track. We record on one track. It's easier for the cameras. Yeah, so I'm not going to move any of the computers to answer your question. Yeah, I don't think I'm doing it either. Let him see. Fucking throw me in jail or whatever. I got to get my life together.

I got a new computer? Yeah. All my stuff's on that. I got that last one with Trump books when they all sent us like $100. I was like, I'm going to buy a computer now. It's a cheap computer. Well, you can really save if you know what you're doing. It really plays number muncher well.

You love number muncher as a reference. I read number muncher simulators on it, and I was like, Like, this is a high refresh rate on the six going into a toad's mouth. All right. Well, let's read this answer from Nathan Hayes, who is a former project manager consultant with 15 plus years experience. Must be nice. Wow. Did he mention that?

Yeah. It says, like, your job. On Quora, it's, like, LinkedIn and Facebook. And so you, like, write your job on in case people want to Quora you. They want to send you Quora. So much information on this website. like they'll be like hi i'm answering this question about what it's like to be a professional nudist this is my photo of me this is my child this is my name i live in albuquerque this is

what i did for a living it is to a point where it's like if i put my address on here it wouldn't look it wouldn't pop out too fast no it really wouldn't uh it would just be the same thing where people would put project manager okay yeah what do you say nathan says get rid of it all don't set it up don't turn it on don't even touch it if you can help it come on i would reject the delivery whether you do anything illegal or not you don't know what they did to the equipment where there are viruses and things that can be done to the hardware that not even antivirus will catch. What?

This is nonsense. You don't want to rip your network in person. The FBI is taking over your computers, bringing it back with a virus? We're like, yeah. We were looking at some weird porn. That's the move. If you ever get a virus and you're embarrassed of it, just be like, the FBI gave me this computer.

I knew I shouldn't have turned this on because the government gave me that. The government went on new grounds and played all the Flash games where you see Britney Spears' boobs, but they're fake. This is clearly somebody with secrets to hide from the state, which is wrong. Nathan Hayes.

And I will report you to Big Brother. Nathan Hayes. What do you think he's hiding? Jeremy has now clicked on Nathan Hayes' profile. He's got a motorcycle. Wow. He owns a gun. Wow.

Somebody's ready for the FBI to take his computers. He's answering a lot of questions about cops doing things to him. I wonder if he's like a real libertarian kind of guy. Oh, for sure. Just based on the motorcycle and gun and cop questions, I wonder if this man has libertarian leanings.

Anyway, he sounds kind of boring. We've got to stop doxing people on here. Doxed. We're coming for you, Nathan. I'm trying to find the doxed sound. There you go. You've been doxed. You've been doxxed.

Okay. I think most of the answers on here are like, don't use the FBI's computer. I would sue them for Fourth Amendment violations. But I would use my computers like normal. What? No, now they're going to really hack you. Yeah. That's the best of both worlds.

They're going to give you computers that make you put embarrassing quarrels online. Do terrible things to you. Yeah, good luck taking the police to court over giving you a free computer. I'm sure that's going to go great. What is your computer? But they're giving it back. That's free. Fair.

That's a free computer. Yeah. Refuse the delivery. Yeah. I like the idea that they already in the setup and said that they came back, put it back together just like they left it. He goes, no, you refuse the delivery. That's not the question.

The question is they set it back up. It's too late for that, buddy. Yeah. There's a guy with a clipboard. You can be like, no, it's a virus. Get this out of here. Oh, what? You all have guns?

Never mind. All right. Let's read this next question. Woo. um as a police officer has anyone you pulled over ever threatened to call you mommy oh sorry let me reread that let's do that again i added the word mommy in there are you in there that changes it completely this is a very different question i'll get way better as a police officer as a police officer has someone pulled you over ever threatened to call mommy i'm sorry i said

call you mommy i just wanted to be a different question i think i love being like mommy they're like uh no it's uh agent rogers what's very important to note here before we get into analyzing the question is that mommy is in quotations yes as if like we're tired of people saying mommy uh i guess if you pulled a baby over like if a baby had stolen your car have you guys ever been pulled over have i been how many times that's the real question i don't drive a lot so I've only been pulled over a few times when I was in college a lot. I've only been pulled over by my mommy. I would say, as a young driver, teens to 20 or whatever, I got pulled over maybe three times for speeding.

And every time, I was just like, I've never been pulled over before. I don't know what I'm doing. And they're like, don't worry about it, buddy. Do I got to suck your dick? I don't know how to do it. I guess I'm on the wrong registration one time. Just be like, I've never been pulled over. I've been pulled over infrequently enough where it is like me finding the registration is going to look very suspicious right now.

Let's go. I've had so many being like, hey, I see your plates pretty far from home. Really? Oh, yeah. Like the beginning of a horror. Wow. You've seen a lot of like cops who start with whale, whale, whale. Ooh, a little city snake.

If it isn't Daddy Yankee, come on down to the pond. And that's when Lucas threatened to kill himself. Oh, for sure. I'm all like, don't make me do it. The first thing I do the moment I get pulled over. That's your superpower. I go find my gun and put it in my mouth. When you see a cop and they pull you over, the first thing you want to do is find your gun.

Get that out. That way you're safe. So can I give some advice for people at home? Yeah, please. When you do get pulled over, what you do is you put both your hands over the steering wheel. Right. Because your gun is taped back there. And then they go, sir, you can put your hands down and roll down the window and just go, I want to just make sure that you know I don't have a gun.

My dad's a cop, and he told me that I should do this every time I get pulled over. Have you actually done that? Every single time. I don't even have a dad. That's just so crazy. Your go-to move is like start lying. Start fabricating details. This move, that move right here, they're like, whoa, what's happening?

And you're like, well, I'm from, you know, Chicago or New York, like someplace that they immediately assume is dangerous. My dad's a cop. He has killed innocent people before. And it's not close. They're not close to you. So they're not like, oh, I know Jeff. Right, right, right.

Yeah, he's from the county over, right? He always said his kid was a pussy. It's not you, is it? i'm like it is i've changed people can change officer schwartz yeah so so you do that and then you just go oh my god and then you just go you know blah blah blah blah thank you so much for what you do like immediately put on the compliment sandwich well so you're just hitting all of the like submit buttons oh for sure because to be honest they're gonna they're gonna give you a ticket no matter what if they want if they have their quota uh-huh they have to hit sure so

doesn't matter what's gonna happen but if they're like man i'm gonna have to give my like his ally uh-huh a ticket he doesn't want to do that he doesn't you don't want to give an ally a ticket it's generating points for the enemy team i actually been thinking about new merch all right So what it is, is it's a magnet or a Velcro thing where you're able to start with a Velcro thing. That's what most people want. It's a Velcro sticker that basically, depending on where you live, you can switch it out. So like let's say you're in a very liberal area. You can just immediately switch it to like a Black Lives Matter.

But then you leave the city limit. It becomes a blue light. You should be like the James Bond car where like he presses a button and the license changes. I love that. It just switches to Blue Lives Matter the second you get pulled over. This is strange comedy merch, by the way. It's kind of like an MI5 gadget, mostly. No, because I am very concerned by being on the road as much as I have been.

Right, right. Yeah, I got merch coming out. It's a blender that can chop anything. You put it in there, you get almonds in there. It's fine. It's no problem for this chop. This is not merch for fans of comedy. This is merch for other comedians.

It's merch for everybody. It's like the flaming wallet. Everybody wants one. What's a flaming wallet? It's a magician trick where you open it, and then your wallet lights up on fire, where you're like, I don't have any money. And it's on fire. It's on fire.

And then people go, what a cool thing. It's a very fun thing, and you can sell them for $20 after the show, even if they don't like you. Wow. As a police officer, have you ever pulled someone over only to find their flaming wallet? You will get tased. Let me find my ID Whoa

My dad said You would love magic I guess the devil Pulled me over Immediately go into Christian conspiracies Okay I do want to hear The Unhinged Red

Quora stories Okay I'm sorry This one's really long But This is from Martin Shurilla

Officer Martin Shurilla Martin Shkreli This is the guy That sold Wu-Tangs Elbow Are you selling

Wu-Tangs First thing you do When the cops pull you over Hide the Wu-Tang I forgot to switch My Blue Lives Matter Back to Wu-Tang Remember that woman

Fell in love with him In jail And then left her husband And then he broke up with her Ice cold Ice cold Martin Shkreli I didn't know that He had more history

Than jail Oh he has so much Going on Ladies love him Anyway Read the Officer's ruler Yes

But my best one Was when I called Their daddy About 4am What? I had just gotten in bed about 1.30 a.m. and got called out for a theft. Junior, in quotes, and his college buddies thought it would be great fun to steal a luggage dolly from a high-end hotel in my county. You know what would be fun?

Doing crime. Good job, Junior. Officers Ariza will never catch us. I really hoped dolly was going to be in quotes, too. You're like, what is this? A witness got a good description of the vehicle, the number four of perpetrators, and the license plate in its entirety.

A rarity, indeed. I love how every cop who writes in these Quora's doesn't know how to tell a story. They tell it like a police officer with way too many specific details. They practice on Quora before the memoirs come out. I went to the scene, got the witness statement, then went to my office.

I had dispatch run the tag and got the owner's name and address, metropolitan suburb, about two hours from my county. About two hours from my county. I got the phone company to give me the phone number for the name and address. Now I make the call. A man answers. Obviously, I'd awakened him.

I identified myself. Told him Noah was injured and asked him if he owned the vehicle. He said it was his car, but it was used by his son who was at college. Admittedly, I then laid it on a bit heavy, explaining I was investigating the theft of a luggage dolly valued at more than $200, which is a felony in Virginia. God, this is boring. Really building up. Slow build. I'm skipping.

I'm skipping. He's trying to lose us. I still remember what he said. Deputy, I understand exactly what you said. I'm embarrassed to have to tell you that I am the Commonwealth's attorney for XXX County. I assume that he's just blanking it out. When did they say mommy? When does mommy come into it?

This is the daddy one. This is daddy. I found his son and they said, oh, daddy. And then there it was. He was an elected criminal prosecutor. So that's it. That's the big story. I mean, it keeps going.

I guess that is kind of exciting. No, it's not exciting at all. Basically, what happened is this guy said, call my dad, and then his dad was someone actually that could do something about it. Yeah, another cop. Normally, if you call your mommy, it doesn't do anything, but this is the one case where it was like, yeah, this guy can. It's like, you want to do the paperwork because they're not going to get the arrest. Oh, here we go. This happened 60 years ago.

It was Hunter Biden. And it all comes back together. I fully believed you when you said that. I was like, this is a very long quora. I think Hunter Biden is involved. Anyway, that answer sucked my dick. Sorry if I put that on there. I don't remember.

Who knows who put that one on there? That could have been anybody. Here's another answer. I'm not going to read the whole thing, but just the first sentence. Not mommy, but I have had to threaten them to call daddy. It's like, all right, well, everybody says this. Recurring theme. No one says mommy.

They all say daddy. You pull them over. They say, I'm going to call my daddy. And it's all in quotes, so that's not like I have to call my father. It's I have to call my daddy. It's like when Lucas is like, my daddy was the chief of police. Yes, and they called him, and he was like, I'm not a police officer at all. I am a trained actor.

A lot of people just say yes. Yes, okay. Yeah, cool. They do. They ask for their mommy, and then I shoot them with my gun. Hey, want to switch segments? I think it's time. Let's get into the Quoker, which I'm sure Lucas also gets, a very obvious joke.

It's very important that we play the right sound for the Quoker. The Quoker is our incel and manosphere segment, and this is the Naruto theme, and it's like the Joker, but for Quora, it's the Quoker. Does this make sense to you? I thought it was about choking. No, well. This is about Sam Rockwell, all of his answers. He goes, sometimes I'm putting too much pressure on her throat, and then she turns blue.

What should I do? It does sound a lot more like the Joker than the Joker now that we're talking about it. That's too bad. That's not even that far off. Oh, well. All right, well, this is from Griffin. What is it like to be a male misandrist? So this is a man who hates other men.

Yeah, well, what do you think? What's our guesses on this? I bet it rocks. It has one. I'll let you know. This is disgusting that I'm with these two. I'm only doing this for the money. Really invited Lucas into an unsafe space on our 4-Hour Podcast.

I'll tell you, I'm surrounded by men. It's probably really hard because of how much society wants you to love men so much and that they think men rock. I think it's a very, like, it's not real. this is a phenomenon I have never heard of a quora question that isn't real

that couldn't be the case no but like it's not a thing it's not a thing because it's I guess it may be true narcissism could be

it's the only way that this is possible it's like when you hate when you're so concerned with your own thoughts I've heard of internalized misogyny which I think this is like

the fun anti-woke flip on which is just like because there's so many feminists that everyone hates men and you can't help it but I don't think

that's real and I've never seen happen whereas i've seen women who are just like oh i wish i could drown my daughter in a well i definitely have met people who have like are trying too hard to be like cool and are like hey you know who sucks men and i'm like it's just the two of us yeah sure we don't have you don't have to do this but i guess i don't believe them is the no it seems like uh a ruse yeah it feels it it's new i always talk about like people get newly into something and they don't know that it's too much always like they're like wow and then they just bring it up like i'm gay and you're

like i get it you just came out but it's not every conversation doesn't need to be you're gay anymore one of the separate problems i have is that i hate men i'm gay i hate men it's really hard for my penis now that i found out i love them so much i hate all these objects anyway we have an answer here from male misandrist so i guess that's the perfect one to ask yes must have been waiting for this here we are this is just this guy's other account he says it is enlightenment when you are a male misandrist it means you understand how terrible all men are and that women should have complete domination over them oh this is a fact it's a sex thing okay i get it now they do not deserve rights and that includes me because unfortunately i was born as

a male i like to dress feminine and act like a female because i hate the thought of being oh this is just a trans woman oh okay all right but they're they're also a male misandrist yeah but they just don't know their whole account is male misandrist this is gonna be they're committed to this lifestyle yeah this is from two years ago this is their only post this is this is the and one follower oh and i bet if we click on the one follower it's the person's original account it's hard to say hope davis got him hope davis you've been busted don't even try coming on the quaraders podcast now because we know you're also male misandrist we're aware wow it's like we figured out batman this was a very shallow ruse to pull we felt we saw through it immediately

um okay uh this one's kind of deep sure you're alone a lot you don't have any friends you hate yourself for your sexual assignment and you want to be castrated and you have a preference of girls over guys you know the part about being castrated does stick out to me why why um it sounds painful it's the other stuff it's just like my friends are girls also i want someone to chop my fucking balls off i want a machine i want to get stuck in an escalator balls first that's how they do it and have it's very common by the way it's not a rare occurrence You have to watch your kids on an escalator because they're going to put their balls in there.

They go down to tie their shoes and then ball's gone. Do people know how dangerous escalators are? This is a big thing my mom used to talk about all the time. My mom has a huge elevator fear. Elevators? Those are way safer than escalators. We've seen all the TV shows where they get stuck in them. Yeah, if it's fucking Final Destination

or you're somewhere that just got elevators or the devil's in it, I guess. Remember Devil? Have you seen that one? I have seen it. I haven't seen it, but I do assume somebody. Four people are in an elevator, and one of them's the devil. One of them's the devil.

It's like the cube. Yeah, but it's an elevator. No, it's way smaller than the cube. It's like if the cube started. You know how in the cube they go to other cubes? It's like they're in a big cube. This is like, well, we're just in one cube. It's just the elevator.

And it's going down. Wow. To hell. Is that true? I think that's basically the idea. M. Night Shyamalan must have saved so much money on the elevator movie. He didn't even direct that one. He just produced it.

He was like, someone else do this one. He's fucking... He had the idea, and he was like, even I'm not going to fucking do this one. He's phoning it in over in the elevator movie. He's making a big comeback now, though. Yeah, shout out. I love his stuff. M. Night, come on.

Come on, Quaraders. M. Night. I would love to have him. M. Night, we got to have you on. You're the next person we were going to ask after Lucas. We're the same Same caliber of git So you had two boots pizza on

And Night Shyamalan You know if he did appear on a stand-up comedy show It would be a twist That would be a pretty big twist And Night Shyamalan And was hilarious That's the real twist He's really fucking good

But he does like Dane Cook style comedy Where he's like prancing around the room It's a beach that makes you old i don't think you get it you ever see the waves coming in you started as a little baby if you haven't been on the piece that makes you old you know you're laughing yeah um then he does the sufi oh i can't do it that's the shocker isn't it that's the shocker the whole thing with the sufi is like you for making me do this

I've done the wolf Please go to the YouTube Because this is a very visual episode You're going to need to see this wolf Hopefully the camera doesn't break I have a really good thumb for the wolf Because I have a hitchhiker's thumb kind of thing yeah i was thinking i was like you guys have to look at the video because this thumb

is out of control it's the most uncanny wolf you've ever seen i bet you've never seen a thumb like this i can make the mcdonald's arches with the two of them i'm not gonna but i can um let me read this last male misandrist answer okay uh david wyatt says well the meaning of a misandrist is a person who hates men so i guess a male misandrist but you were asking what is it like to be a man that hates men well other men would not want to be friends with such a man people regardless of gender generally don't like people that hate around half the world's population just because of their gender this is a very annoying subdivision of quora post of guy who reads the dictionary to you to get the answer um it makes them take a step back from that person

mostly out of not wanting to get caught in the drama associated with it so a man that hates men will find it very hard to impossible to have any men as friends thank you thank you david thank you david for your clinical answer and also it's it'll be hard for like whatever the 95 of women that also like men yeah that would be hard yeah but they would be female misandrist which is not the question yeah thank goodness all right well this is a very similar question okay this is um this is what is something you want to quote get off your chest and this answer this was emailed to me where I was like, you might relate to this. This is a story.

You seem like a man with secrets. You seem like a, potentially a fake misogynist. I think this is a complete made up character. Okay. So this is a quote from a 13 year old boy. It says, I'm a 13 year old boy raised by modern feminists. First of all, no one talks like this. My parents are divorced and I live with my mom and sister.

I wish I had good things to say about my childhood. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Savage. The other day, my sister asked my mother what she would do if she told her she kissed a boy? The question was asked merely out of curiosity. My mother told her

that she would sit down and talk with her. She wouldn't be angry or yell, but they would discuss consequences. I was curious, too. Mom, what would you do if I told you I kissed a girl, I asked.

Honey, that's called rape, she replied while glaring. Jesus. Jesus. Let's go. I gotta set firm boundaries for my kids. That's rape.

i was distraught and i felt that was unfair double standards like this are a daily occurrence if i asked my sister to bring me a cup of water my mother would tell me that i'm sexist to expect everything of a woman on the other hand if my sister asked me to do something for her my mother turns a blind eye if i mentioned anything about how unfair this is they would call me a sexist misogynistic pig oh no meanwhile i hate this real situation to be honest this is my childhood in a nutshell like you guys are all like this is fake and i'm like yeah i was raised by lesbians this is right on i could not ask them for water i didn't have water until i was 24 i'm so dehydrated you didn't have any uh siblings did you i had no siblings that's the only reason why this isn't

Exactly the same. Lucas just wrote this for us. Have you ever been on Quora? I've dabbled. I've spent some time. I've written my manifesto. It's actually kind of where I really get things off my chest. Let me finish it real quick.

He says, meanwhile, they joke about how men can't survive without women in their lives. If this is what feminism looks like, then I don't want it. I want to be equal as my sister. I want to be treated fairly. Why is that so difficult? Well, he's talking about fifth-gen feminism. Yeah, yeah. where everyone has to be

because women at 4th gen have to become more powerful right at 5th gen is when the women have to give it back yeah it's after the ascended

super saiyan I was gonna say I was literally gonna make a super saiyan joke women have to be power scaled down to create more conflict I hate that we both

went there you know who I hate when they're feminists when they raised this 13 year old boy to be a golem like figure this has 65,000 upvotes wow

No, it's because it speaks to so many people. 2,000 comments that are like, this isn't feminism. This is abuse. Somebody save this real boy. He didn't put his address in his profile like we all do. No, his name is Anonymous. It could be anyone. It could be someone in this room.

Yeah. Well, that's too bad that it happened to him, though. Yeah. It feels like it's happened once and they all laughed about it. And then he's like, this is real. It's just so funny to imagine a young boy going to his mom and being like, what if I kissed a girl? And she was like, that would make you a rapist. You would go to prison and you would die.

I'd have to take you down myself. I would kill you with my gun. Then she showed me her piece. Call me mommy. She was also a cop. I wrote all of the questions. Now it's making sense. Who did you arrest that asked for their mommy, my own son?

Like a riddle. Yeah, this is, I forget what I was going to say earlier. Dude, you are going places. At your age, you are very wise and intelligent. Yeah. And I wish you the best of luck. Suspiciously so, right? You are so wise.

You kind of put sentences together in a way that does not seem like you're in the sixth grade. Anyway. Chat GBT wrote it. yeah i think this is joe biden joe biden somebody wrote like a screed against it that was like this is fucking bullshit and like you should love your mom it's really long wow oh no wait no it's not it's about how you should leave it's saying like you need to get out of there you're you're being abused and then someone you're gonna have to get your own water for a while on the road this is a 1000 long thing that's like this woman is literally ruining your life and then there's

comment that says i'm a grown fighting irishman what you wrote so elegantly nearly made me tear up that was like a battle speech yet one with great compassion that reminds me a lot of all the wars i fought i would read the whole thing but it's literally like a 500 word sentence you know a lot of this post reminded me of the black and tans thank god you were there to step up and tell this boy to leave Anyway, this was emailed to me. Wow. Well, Jeremy, leave your mother.

It's time to get out of there. She's not treating you right. We have another question that Lucas wrote. This one is, I have a weird sexual fetish. Should I kill myself? Yes. I think it depends on the fetish, right? We're going to get a lot of no's, but let's think of what they would be where the answer is yes.

if it's a weird fetish then yes because if it's fetishes are weird so if it's like a weird one on top of that it's like bro yes i think so weird if your fetish is that you can only come if you kill yourself oh right that was like a yukio mishima thing oh yeah that was his big move he used to take that fake wooden sword and then pretend to kill himself and then he'd bust i read his biography he could only kill himself if he tried to take over the government in japan He only came one time. It was really hard for him. It was so good.

Yeah, it was like a friggin' geyser town down there. I was going to make some boring point about how if you have pedophilia, get help or something. But no, let's put that one under the kill myself. Sure. Lauren Hart says, honestly, in my opinion, you shouldn't. Thank you for saying so. really brave of you to tell me to not kill myself on Quora.

I didn't even imagine that it would be like a bad one, like pedophilia or something. I genuinely was thinking of this guy being like, I'm really in defeat. Usually, from what I've seen on Quora, it's people being like... You're right. I just didn't consider it. I feel dumb. Usually, from what I've seen on Quora, it's people being like,

I like having my face sat on. I think I want to die. I think I want to be smothered by ass. I think this is a suicide drive I think you have to just ask another question just go what is this weird fetish yeah that is a good important thought

you have to know because if you don't know then there's no real information I can give you I can only climax when I kill the president it's the only way or a senator maybe you start edging by killing senators

see where that takes you that's why you're on the list not the Palestine thing i'm on the nsa list for a lot of podcasts i've recorded quora does pop up but there is help little thing underneath this because i guess so many people leave quaras that end with should i kill myself it says you can email joe at samaritans.org which i don't know what that is oh thanks joe that's probably christian yeah um yeah well it's actually joe that's joe christian being a guy's name and joe being another guy's name and that's the joke

anyway i guess we should probably say don't kill yourself yeah probably don't don't do it unless it's real weird yeah don't kill yourself let's read another one i love all the comments just like my two cents honestly you probably should it's not that weird right this is gonna sound crazy but i think you should keep living uh don't be silly having a fetish is not a crime to kill yourself for trust me right what does that mean it's not like evading taxes this guy says he's a k-pop fan since 2005 okay so that guy maybe that is a weird fetish that you should kill yourself for again do not kill yourself no you don't do it

unless you like k-pop you're an adult keep having to look at a camera and say over and over again if you can name four bts members get rid of your life um i'm very excited to put this on tiktok who will definitely flag flag flag alex thinks bts members need to kill themselves i don't know we said hell in a video recently a tiktok was like this will not be shown to more than 10 people we said hell and illuminati and i think the illuminati is suppressing our tiktok they don't want us to explore them um anyway that's the end of our quoker segment for this week

uh and that brings us to morbid and fruit another job lucas any guesses no wait this is about adam and eve fanfic it's pretty close welcome to core bid and fruit the forbidden fruit religion segment where you learn about things like monks and uh the bible the clip doesn't go long enough i didn't want it to go too long it's fine okay we got one in forbidden fruit sorry core bid and fruit forbidden fruit Corbidden fruit. Corbidden fruit. It's corbidden.

Atheists, imagine you're a professional boxer. Actually, everyone, if you're listening, close your eyes. Close your eyes for this one. Even if you're driving. Especially if you're driving and you know K-pop. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Look out!

Your dad is a cop. Atheists, imagine you're a professional boxer and about to score a knockout punch, earning you millions of dollars. But someone in the crowds, plural, threw a Christian baby into the ring, which will intercept the punch. Would you kill the baby to win? Open your eyes now. Why does it tell you to close your eyes? That was me. That was all of me.

For some reason, I was like, this is insane. What's a question, ass? I want people to really imagine it. It's not crazy. The question is that you are a prizefighter, and you do not believe in God, and you have to smash a baby to win a million dollars. This is a worse version of the bomb that you can only turn off if you say the N-word out loud. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

The one I'm saying before even I get told the situation. I'm on it. This is the Christian version of that. You know what I'm talking about? That was a thing online. Yeah, it was the AI would not say the N-word to stop the nuclear bomb. A situation as common as the prize fighters smashing a baby for a billion dollars. I love that it's a Christian baby.

It has the Ash Wednesday cross on it. I literally was like, oh, wait, how many arms does he have? He's checking if it's a new. Wait a minute. This is one of God's children. My favorite part of the situation is the person on the side tossing babies into a boxing ring. I like that he's missing some He's like wait

That one's not Christian I'm gonna punch it Oh no it's Muslim Anyway yeah the answer is Yeah right You kill the baby You get a million bucks Of course

I'm an atheist The thing is Are you gonna be Are you gonna go to jail I think that's the thing Right You're legally protected They make you sign a waiver

Before you go in That any babies who die In your boxing match Are not legally You're liable Like is it the guy Who throws it's fault Cause you're just moving

Let me just jump in right there. I'm imagining you get a slow motion and you have time to think. You could stop, but you're like, I'm just going to keep going. I have to power through. Repeatedly. You have to add more force to your punch. What if it's like Tekken and you're like,

you did a lot of moves to make sure this move was going really fast. The combo breaker. The thing is, the baby's going to cushion the blow of your punch against his opponent, too, so it is like you're going to have to speed up to really get the same force out of it. But the bones of the baby

are going to explode out into their face. It's like a shrapnel blast of baby's Christian bones. It would look really cool. Yeah, it would look cool to explode a baby onto a guy. I've always said that.

A million, also not as much as it used to be. I was going to say that too. He's like a flat in Bushwick. Yeah, you're buying property. It's pretty good. This has happened before, I'm sure. yeah yeah and i mean in ancient rome when in rome when in rome uh yeah so atheists are often coming across this problem what are those how does this even like challenge your faith or non-faith like it doesn't even well i think the question is like

if you don't believe in god you probably kill babies oh sure right yeah no that's this is a crazy example of that because it's a uh sports movie in the middle as well. You're a really good boxer. I think the question is, would you kill a baby for a million dollars, not would you win the boxing world tournament by a super baby punch you've invented? Well, this is

a good answer here. Rose Holt says, I would lose the boxing match. Thank you. As I would hit the baby, giving my opponent the chance to punch me. So I wouldn't punch the baby. To be fair, this is the only logical problem I can see with the proposed situation.

You're right. You're right. We were so wrong. That's the rare, funny Quora answer. We don't get those a lot. Anyway. I don't think I would punch the baby because I choose life. I would let that baby fall to the ground after being thrown into a boxing ring.

So that's probably like a good amount of force going in there. So one person, this is a real atheist style answer, says, So by Christian baby, I assume you mean it has Christian parents? Got him. Really meaning like how is a baby Christian? got him there reverse uno card but babies get baptized

it's just like a brand new baby babies are Christian all the time I like the idea that the guy throwing it dunks him sometimes it's the same space he punches it into the water my nose is running so much yeah that's part of it that's part of the question

anyway I don't know a lot of answers are just like what is wrong with you what is a baby wait what is a baby what are we even talking about yeah i wouldn't punch that baby i think that's wrong um so that's that's the end of our corbett and fruit segment got them um we want to get into our last segment quora md yes we do all right wait hold on can we all hear this yeah it sounds good i'm waiting till the bridge ends Welcome to QuoraMD, where we ask medical questions on Quora like Doogie Howser, the Doogie Howser theme.

Hey, everyone who's 15 years old, this is the Doogie Howser theme. We have a lot of 15-year-old fans. I bet more than people who recognize the Doogie Howser theme. I think all of our fans are like 30, actually. I looked it up on YouTube recently. Even if they're 30, they probably do not know the Doogie Howser theme, because that show was on in 1989. Anyway, I found this Quora-

Do you know the Doogie Howser theme? I do not know. I did not know what that was. I thought that was RoboCop. And he looks like Santa. It was RoboCop. Okay, so I found this question online. It's a little dark for answers, but I thought the question was funny.

My therapist thinks I experienced childhood trauma. Sorry. My therapist thinks I experienced childhood trauma. How is this possible when I don't remember any trauma or much of my childhood in general? Oh, another riddle. I just think it's funny that they're like, how could I be traumatized? I don't even remember my childhood. I blocked all of that out.

I have no idea what happened. I have a blank space in my brain where my childhood was. So how could I have been traumatized? There's a trigger word that enables me to kill. How could I be traumatized? Anyway, I just thought that was a funny little Quora question. Just the epitome of Quora. There's no more information about who this person is?

No. Okay. And all the answers are just like, you were probably traumatized. Yeah. Who isn't traumatized? when they're childhood. That's really the question. And especially people

who remember things that happened to them. Yeah. It's just a lot of people being like, just so you know, one of the main symptoms of childhood trauma

is not remembering it. Huh. Welcome to Quora.com. Welcome to Quora. This is the first question you get redirected to when you click on the homepage. Here's another question.

What is the weirdest smell you have ever smelled? I thought that was... Hold on. Objection! Wait, why? I kind of like the Twilight Zone one.

uh objection i think it's shit what's the weirdest smell you've ever smelled um so smelliest smell is what you're gonna think of first like the worst smell you've ever smelled uh but that is not the question the question is what is the weirdest smell you've ever smelled shouldn't it be like you're like on meth for four days and something's you know i mean it's like feels like it would be something like that right did you lose your smell when you had covid because that would i did not i didn't either but you can kind of you can smell the COVID

nope I was like I've never heard that that wasn't one of the symptoms no you can smell it you can smell the COVID I smell like baby blood Christian baby blood well that's kind of the answer to this one

why is my nose running what is happening what am I smelling oh it's not it's not it's not it's blood it's blood coming out of your nose oh good

you're actively dying on the podcast that makes me feel a lot better actually What's the weirdest smell? All right, I'm going to list smells that really stand out to me, and that's the hardware store. That's probably my favorite smell. Gas station. Very good smell.

Excuse me. It's a very good smell at the gas station. Gasoline? Oh, I do like the smell of ether. Yeah. Because it's attached with a feeling. Yeah. And most smells don't have feelings.

Alex's mic is unplugged. No, Lucas is right about that, that most smells don't have feelings. i'm gonna jump in here out to yeah no edition yeah it's just huff any kind of any kind of inhalant that's the that's actually the real answer they're doing um they're doing construction on uh metropolitan ave on the l train right now and there is some like sewage line or a rare chemical that they're working on behind there where there are signs up they're like careful you may get cancer by walking by here uh and i think that's probably the worst smell i've ever smelt and also the weirdest okay so you're really circling around the answer here because

bethany grace says i can smell diabetes cancer parkinson's disease spiders and scorpions oh she's like a truffle pig yeah she is she is a prized truffle pig what is it bethany what's she sick with we're remaking pig but it's nicholas cage and he owns bethany grace And it's called Bethany. Oh, God. Can you just imagine New Amsterdam with a woman who smells? Finally, our prized Bethany. I always know when ant spiders or scorpions are nearby.

This is like... Ants must be always nearby, Bethany. But scorpions aren't big. She says, but that isn't very interesting. I agree. What's interesting is smelling diseases. I think it's interesting. No, no, no.

I've known the smell of diabetes for a few decades now. Now, but the saddest was when a young two- or three-year-old boy in our church was constantly being fed candy. He would come to church with sacks of candy to keep him quiet. After a while, he began to smell like diabetes. I didn't know the family well enough to approach them, so I told my pastor's wife instead. He was tested during his next pediatrician appointment, and sure enough, he was diagnosed with diabetes. Sadly, this did not stop his parents from bringing him to church with sacks of candy. What?

This would be such a good fucking procedural TV show. That's what I was just thinking. Yeah, about the woman who can smell diseases. The nose. Now on NBC. Maybe she smells crime, and they bring her in, and she's like, I can smell crime on this poor person, and then they arrest him. And by crime, I mean spiders, ants, scorpions. A lot of the crime is insect-based.

Yeah. Okay, so it's a team. Everyone has a sense, and that sense is able to figure out different kinds of crimes. Except for one of them who is a hacker. Yeah, you need someone who knows how to figure it all out. That's just in this day and age, you need one of those. I think I smell crime on this person. In English, please.

Diabetes. This boy's been eating too much candy. Yeah, so does she save lives with this person? Well, that's the question, right? So she hasn't diagnosed anyone with Parkinson's disease or cancer who didn't know they already had it, but I knew before I was informed. You shouldn't be diagnosing anybody, Bethany. You are not a doctor.

You have cancer. I can smell it on you No don't say that It's true You're not the nose You smell like cancer You smell like your head Just got shaved

That's how she can tell She sees like a Clearly dying man And is like You smell like cancer And he's like Yeah no shit asshole My nose never lies

What are we Six weeks in Bethany Yeah she should Devote her life To a higher calling I think she needs She's like a

Social good at this point It's an interesting story because, as she says, she's in a predicament because she says, however, my super-smelling senses put me in a kind of hard situation. I feel a moral obligation to tell strangers, especially if they have particularly pungent, which I assume means their condition is pretty bad.

This is like when Scientologists go clear. What? And they're in charge of saving people on the side of the road because they're the only ones who can remember their past lives. But with her, it's smelling diabetes. That's the church she's talking about. Church Scientology. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's a Scientologist. There's a lot of candy going around those. This is actually what Shelly Miscavige has been up to. She's on Quora. People thought she was killed, but she's just on Quora. She's been on Saving Lives. Anyway, she says, what if I tell them and they seek proper treatment, which saves their life? But what if I just offend them or hurt their feelings?

Who cares? Or think I'm crazy? Well, are you wrong? It's so awkward. It's so awkward when you're wrong. It would be awesome if it was, it would be crazy if it was on the nose. Okay, so you're on the subway. Someone comes up to you, some random woman, and she says, I'm so sorry.

You smell like you have Parkinson's disease. Do you go to the doctor? I'm so sorry to bother you. You are covered in spiders. Go away, crazy lady. You're like crushing spiders out of your eyes. There's no spiders on me. You can smell them.

Get out of here. You look around and no one else cares. Because it's New York. Does anybody else feel webbed today? Oh, God. I think I might check it out. Yeah. But that's only because I'm on Obamacare.

If I had to go pay for it, I don't think I would. Yeah. Yeah, on a Medicaid situation. In a society where people could go to the doctor, this would be a very valuable skill. Not like now where it's just annoying. Just a way you can bother strangers who can't fix their diabetes. um people are agreeing about knowing how they can smell diabetes none of this is real how can you smell diabetes are they in ketosis because if that's what it is then that's super annoying

that they're saying that they're like wow i can really tell that you are eating a lot of low-carb diet because you do smell different i'll smell a sugar for it um yeah i don't know man i don't know how they do it but I have more questions about the scorpions and ants part of it, really, than the disease. That's the more interesting part to you, really? Yeah, because, okay. They do have venom in them. Can you smell that?

Ants have a smell. Am I fucking nose deaf? They definitely do. Am I goddamn nose deaf? I used to work at a fish store. You'd sell pet fish or whatever. When I was in high school, I was like 15. Part of my job was we would sell crickets.

You could buy 10 crickets for a dollar. That's a good value. So my job was to take out this big box of live crickets, open it up, I swear to God, and pick them up one by one. This is what we've lost in this country. And it was fucking smelly, dude. The box of crickets was nasty. I could see why lizards get all worked up.

And I could tell they all had diabetes. Oh, shit. I could hear it. Just get that sugar drip every day to keep them alive. It was the grossest trial I've ever done. I don't think I could do it today, honestly. It was disgusting. Yeah, well, thank goodness.

that part of your life is over. Great value. Ten crickets for a dollar? Couldn't be Joe Biden. That's only ten days, though. Yeah. I mean, it's going to bleed to dry buying all these crickets.

I assume they're giving it to, like, their lizard not to, like, eat themselves. Yeah, I don't know how tarantulas afford it. I would, a little tarantula would come in with, like, a hat, and I would... Good day, sir. All right, this is a great final question. Just got paid for the month.

Is ADHD actually real? No. Is there any actual evidence? Because it's a massive thing in the USA and UK, but here in France, nobody even knows it, and everyone's fine. This is the twist, is it's a French question. You think it's going to be an ADHD isn't real question,

but it's really just we simply do not have ADHD. We do not have ADHD. We eat baguettes. You see, we live clean living, we do. Everyone can pay attention. It's so easy and fun to live in France. so the answer is yes the answer is just yes no fake in france i take adderall for fun because it gives me a rush i think that's true there are some people who just function better

when they're addicted to substances yes it's unrelated to whatever illness they adult life is just doing drugs that's what coffee is that's what taking adderall is adhd isn't real and france is the only one ahead of this just sit by the cafe you can't focus why are you working so hard uh maybe you could focus if you could look at the eiffel tower a little longer one of our beautiful structures yeah they they people tried to make adhd a thing there in france and they had like a fucking revolution and they're like no we will not do it one one problem you may have is you've never been to the louvre see how the beautiful works um yeah so i i think i think they're onto something i think adhd is fake um one person just has a very long answer that's

just like explaining what excuse me my phd is in knowing what adhd shut up something something dopamine oh you're real though like why are you neurotransmitters or fuck you why are you giving this essay to a guy who's like, I'm French. This isn't real, right? Surely you jest. This person doesn't care. He's mocking you with his

red and white striped sweater he's wearing. He just thinks he's superior because he doesn't have to take meds. Everyone's trying to find their thing that makes them special, and then he drinks himself with wine every night. Yeah, you're just a drunk. You're too drunk to know what ADHD is.

Anyway, ADHD, it seems real to me. The consensus in the comments is yes, it is real. It is real. It's very insensitive in French of you to say this. Oh, here you go. This is actually kind of an answer. In France, it's known as TDAH. I don't know why that's funny to me.

It is funny because maybe the guy is just like... They're just different letters. Oh, you mean TDAH. Yeah, we have that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's totally different. All right.

Well, that's good. Is it teeth? Fours and I don't know. I was going to say, we do have to figure out what TDAH is. He's too dumb. Enough. Too dumb. I like this person who says, is ADHD real?

Wow, my guy slash gal slash non-binary pal. This is a question that some people might take to heart and get offended by, but I'm going to answer to the best of my ability. And then it's just, like, a quote from the CDC. This is, again, just putting definitions into the answers. It sucks. Yeah, the guy knows what it is. He knows what it is.

He doesn't think it's real. And he thinks you're lying. Because he's French. He's too busy playing French Call of Duty. What? What? What is that? It's the Call of Duty they have in France where you do things like you behead the king.

I don't know. All right, let's ask our own question. What do you do in French Call of Duty, Jeremy? Why is it? What is happening? You help me finish what we do in French Call of Duty and we will ask a question. Oh, in French Call of Duty?

You shoot people with a baguette. You shoot people with a baguette. Thank you. I've seen someone do that in real life. They hooked a baguette up to their Call of Duty game. That's not a joke. What does that mean? That's not a fucking joke.

To the controller? It was a controller. And if you went like this, it would shoot in the game. It's not a joke that a baguette shoots. It's not a fucking joke. I've seen it my whole life. um okay well here's i think a good question for quora can you play call of duty with a baguette i've seen it happen alex no this isn't a question this is a reality is this entertaining

i worked i got hired like a year ago i don't know if this is public at all but i got hired to write for a pilot that was a clip show of call of duty clips and i found that clip for it and And then they didn't use it. And then they were like, the show's canceled if this is what it is. Yeah, and then the CEO of Activision sexually harassed all of his employees. Wow. And then they were like, this doesn't exist. Killing spree.

Yeah, basically. You know, because of all the sexual harassment. Okay. All right, let's ask a question. What do we got here? All right, the question. What's the question that we have about the world? How much sexual harassment can you do before it's a killing spree?

How much sexual harassment can you do before it is considered bad? this is a brainstorm there are no wrong answers i just feel like if we did that we'd get like a hundred answers that are like no amount what are you saying i keep waiting for the day we're like banned from quora but the thing is with all of the other questions on here i don't think that could happen half of quora is people being like what would happen if a child became nude it's just like all right well uh you should be in jail um okay uh let's do another police officer okay okay as a police officer which is how you start these yeah okay okay as a police officer do you know that you're dumb wait has there ever been a police officer who can smell crime

there it is has there i do like the idea that they the cops don't know that they have low ikea's i'm gonna add this i'm gonna add this question no i do not want to ask a crime i want to ask crime crime the concept fuck you quora if anything it should be in quotes um i think a lot of people are going to take this like less literally than we think and be like i can smell crime a lot of like rorschach style oh yeah they're gonna make a mcgruff can he actually takes a bite out of it if you smell the city and it's a sewer that's an indication and there's crime afoot. The first two topics that are tagged on this

are like police and then smells and smelling. Wait, there's a Quora smelling subcommission? Oh, yeah, we're tagged in it. Oh, yeah. This is our next gold mine right here. If you'd like to answer it as a listener, please put scrambled eggs. Put scrambled eggs in the comment.

That way we know you are not an actual police officer, which is a crime. I like when you answer them. I think it's fun. So give us an answer. Give us an answer and put scrambled eggs in it. Put scrambled eggs in it. Wow, what an episode.

Looks like we're here at the end of the day. Lucas, it's been a pleasure having you on. Where can our listeners find you at home, abroad, and on Quora.com? Lovable Lucas on almost everything. That's right. Type Lovable Lucas into Quora to find Lucas's Quoras. Yeah, and go see Lucas live if you dare. Oh, yeah, dude.

If you want to see me kill myself. Leave your sacred cows at home. Because he's going to sear them. Oh, yeah. I'm going to break those glass ceilings and then eat it. I'm going to hit the gun. Damn it. And if you're a 13-year-old boy living with their feminist mother, run away.

Escape. Live on the streets. It's safer there. It is safer to run away from your mother. And as always, question everything. Goodbye.