Quorators - Is Donald Trump An Absolute DILF? w/ Donovan Eyre

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Why would a guy hug you and not let go? Where are the babygurls looking for a daddy? My BF committed a felony and now wants me to take his blame and punishment. If I'm going to do it, what should I bear in mind? Will I survive a prison sentence? I'm very soft and weak. ----- Check out Dono's funny podcast about dating and relationships @ rftb.me Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators 

Audio. So I think this will be the one week we tackle race. Finally. Yeah. I don't know if we want to force it or if it'll organically come up, but I'm kind of thinking this is the week. I'm so glad I'm here for this one. I was waiting until there were multiple ponytails in the room. Because just one, you might feel insecure. Well, let's see if it comes up. i've been rehearsing that dance for weeks and you're back on quarators live on cracked home of the fact back at it like a cracked addict it's quarators we're the rapping podcast that teaches you how to flow and we read quora i'm your host alex this is jeremy how's it going i'm

jeremy and we have a very special week uh fuck me we have a very special guest this week you're going to love that's right all the way from the radio free tote bag relationship advice podcast we have donovan there everybody donovan howdy how's it going hi i'm great uh i just flew in from Chicago. Uh-oh. Where are my arms? Choir. Choir.

Thank you for saying so. I'm glad we took the time to write before this started. I wonder if anybody... Paying dividends. I'm trying to think of imagining a person who's trying to learn English

by listening to our show or something. That's our primary audience, by the way. All right. All right. Choir. And I'm applying for citizenship.

English is a hard language because you've got to find where the Qs are. Oh, my God. It's a barbarian tongue. All the rules get broken every other sentence. I don't know how anybody learns English as a second language. It seems impossible. It's just through raw television consumption, I think, understands the primary means.

You just have Dharma and Greg shot into your brain since childhood, and then you adapt outside of your country. You evolve. um before we get too into it can we address that we have a beautiful flag behind us it says quarators on if you're a listener go check out the youtube just to see this beautiful flag we have wild and then stand for it and salute it yeah and also stand for it yeah because that's how good a flag it is jeremy told the flag people we want a flag that says quarators and they were like we can't do it we don't have all those letters well guess what it was a problem we

sent them other images and now they could make one. It took us over a month. We were supposed to have a flag a long time ago. Oh, yeah. Kyle Kinane should have been wrapped in the flag. Oh, that would have been beautiful. Yeah, it's like Rocky at the end of

Rocky. Like Rocky at the finale. We're on today, baby. This is the best episode we've ever done. That's the power of the flag. That's the power of the flag. I'm always saying that. Let's go to our last week on Core Raiders.

Okay, this question we asked last week was, is Venom two guys or is he one guy? And also, is the Venom Eminem song about Venom? If so, which guy? Oh, no! Ven-em-em-em. Ven-em-em-em. Y'all wrote this one?

This is one of your questions. We wrote this one. No, yeah, it's Ven-em-em-em. You know what? I think what it was is, last episode, it hasn't come out yet in our time, but we kept hitting each other in the head with hammers. Yeah. And that's why we came up with this. My arm turned into a scythe.

I'm going to say the song is about Venom from the film because Eminem was paid money by Marvel to make it. No, but I think the question is because we're differentiating between the two guys. Or is it about Eddie Brock? We know the answer is Eddie Brock. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. works in journalism that song would suck I don't know anything

about superhero stuff is the character Venom two guys or like two actors he is two guys now the problem is we talked about this

yeah the second actor is Venom we can't do this too much on this one because the whole last episode is mostly about how Venom is two guys

it's not out yet but one is one is Eddie Brock and he's played by Tom Hardy and the other is the alien Venom who is a black group

he's played by Venom I see He also is played by Tom Hardy. That's the thing is Tom Hardy is so much ranger. When you're working with someone like Tom, who we would love to have on the show, by the way, Tom, if you're listening, hop on Quora, baby. But in the meantime, when you have Tom in the booth,

you can just have him become other people. You can say, this time you're Spider-Man's nemesis. This time you're a hard-hustling journalist. This time you're like a really confusing Jewish character in Britain. And also you're like a gangster in an interesting way. but no one can understand what you're saying. He actually has a writing credit on Venom 2, Tom Hardy. I think that's just from improvising, right?

Maybe. We love Venom. This is a Venom podcast. This show is 60% about Venom, 40% about hitting your children, as far as I know. Half of Venom 2 is just him talking to himself because he plays both of them, and he's just like,

I have Venom, I don't know, man. He has this weird voice. Venom, you're being annoying. And he sounds different than he did in the first one because his state of decay. Now we're just explaining what's happened in Venom 2. A film I did not like. I liked it.

I haven't seen any of these. Oh, is he the first one? You don't need to. Is he the first one? They're both bad. I'm just here to learn about it. I'm just here to listen and learn about Venom. Have your symbiote swing you into Venom 2019 today.

uh anyway what was our what people think of the question guys uh so somebody give us a very long answer about the difference between venom and uh tom hardy's say exactly what we're saying yeah read this answer for a more detailed explanation long story nope venom is meant to be the entity nope who cares no one cares about that the lyrics are meant to be about addiction, and one struggles with keeping in check, which is an appropriate and recurrent trope for Venom stories in general.

Venom is an addict? Yeah, he's addicted to being Venom. Unfortunately. He eats brains. Just like Eminem used to be addicted to all kinds of pills. And he had that one album that's him made out of all the pills.

Oh, that rocks, man. Eminem has done so many pills, and that's kind of what Venom's about. Are your kids being Venom. Know the signs. I found a pile of goop on my son's floor. I understand there's goop there. Oh, yeah. Is your daughter

battling carnage? Oh, man. I really do appreciate... What's that actor's name? The guy who played Carnage? Extremely famous man. Woody Harrelson? Yeah. He gave 110%. He pulled no punches as Carnage.

He plays a weird serial killer. He wasn't like, I'm in real movies. I don't have to be carnage. He was like, oh, you made your last mistake. You know what? They're all having so much fun in that movie. I guess I'm just a hater, man. I hate to see men thriving.

As many of our YouTube comments have noticed. Just a beta who lives on a playground. Comment below if you think Alex is a beta. Yeah, please. Also like and subscribe if you think I'm a beta We're not Don't hurt me Honestly we could do a whole Venom episode

Because there's a lot of Venom questions Hey don't tempt me buddy Could a predator beat Venom Is Venom gay I don't think a predator Could beat Venom but I think we should save it Cause it's really good

There's another answer here from a guy named Gavin Who's a phlebotomist and he says Jeez. Going real deep with this one. Hey, shut up, Gavin. We're doing our best, man. Go take some blood, you piece of scum. What's a phlebotomist do?

Yeah, they take blood. That's a blood guy. Yeah. Yeah, you're a professional blood guy. You're pretty much Venom in real life. You're acting like we're out of pocket asking about this. Sorry we don't know as much about Venom as you who's professionally become Venom. Oh, you know what?

Son of a bitch. I hate to say it, Gavin is one of our listeners. Oh, hey, Gavin. I'm sorry about all that. Gavin, I think taking blood is cool, man. That's awesome. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, Gavin. Gavin, you've got to say scrambled eggs.

Oh, by the way, if you're answering the questions, please use our code word scrambled eggs. You simply must. This way I won't curse at you before I realize you're a regular listener to the show. A normal person who we love. who respects Venom and the fact that he's two guys. And he's kind of a metaphor for when you smoke weed all the time. Okay, well, that's that.

And I'm dusting my hands off. Now, Dono, you're kind of a love expert, aren't you? A lot of people say this. Do you love love? I do. I'm crazy. Second only to Venom. Hey, two sides of the same coin, if you ask me.

but that's a conversation for another episode venom episode coming soon um for all the fans of master chief episode we're back the episode that a friend of mine in real life said he could not finish it's polarizing not unlike venom um but today's episode is kind of a bit more nuanced it's about relationships it's about the connections between human beings and so So, for today, we're going to spend a lot of time in Quoromance. Wow, that's beautiful. The passions of the Quorazone. The Quorazone.

Also, get in the Quorazone. Also, it's French week again. Oh, yeah. All right, so let's get rapping real quick. Get in the zone. I'm rubbing my hands together. Quorazone. I'm rubbing my hands together.

I can't wait to get the friction going. oh baby the heat is building in this room oh baby i had it too low for the song oh baby also accidental fishing what was our first question i got a question for you why would a guy hug you and not let go what the oh no okay is that the whole question because it's just it's in the title now you're gonna have to get used to this so on your show you said for the bonuses you always read reddit we get all the details there's just less information yeah you have to create the question there's no letters and numbers you can't figure out how old someone is there's no age gaps

you can glop onto and say age gap you can't tell them everyone sucks here no all kinds of stuff you can't do why would a guy hug you and let go never let go yeah so the thing is i immediately i was like well that sounds sweet and then i think you guys are both smartly like that's probably that's kind of evil it's an evil behavior i hate i hate to think of this but the first thing i do you think of is the symbiote venom that's where my friend went to kind of in a way he kind of clamps onto your very brain and he never lets go again inseparable from relationships he becomes part of you and you form a family together when you're trying to have your vice style talk show you're trying that's what eddie brock hosts is his own version of vice

you're just trying to freelance what if uh what if this is a koala and they just think it's a guy that's a good question they like to that's one way and not let go what if it so okay what happens if you get hugged by a koala it won't let go you gotta like give them a little eucalyptus that's all of my koala knowledge that i have i know that they're answered it i know that they're famously irascible animals they're like terribly angry and they just have a reputation about being sleepy little fuckers but actually they're like they're they're they're little killing machines they don't kill anything they're just mean what are they if not a black symbiotic creature they're still like they're their hands turn into hammers and they smash you with them

my favorite part of koalas is the eminem song about them yes knock knock let the koalas in Don't they have Tonight I'm cleaning out koalas Don't they have like an STD or something Am I making this up I don't know that about them And they all have it for some reason Cause they're fucking

Koalas are fucking They've got so much koala knowledge Koala knowledge There it is Got so much koala in my closet Wait koala There's way more rapping in this already than there ever should be. I have such a distinct memory of being with my dad as a child.

The first time I ever heard Eminem, he came on the radio. My dad was just going, he's making these words up. It's true. He's way out of his league. I know for a fact nothing rhymes with orange. You can't do that to your girlfriend. This is twisted. Door hinge is usually.

People say door hinge. It's kind of an alpha move to just be like, what rhymes with orange? Glorange. Florange. Quorange. Storange. Rap podcast.

What does storage mean? Fucking figure it out for yourself, idiot. It's Venom week. We got to move on from Eminem. It's only the first question. It's okay to have it a little bit stuck. Especially because we did talk about him again a lot last week. It's going to be another 50 minutes.

We really got to just try to set sail away. This is the problem with the format of asking a question. That's something we talked about all episode is that the second episode becomes about that. It becomes more of that. We just need a better idea. We should ask guests to bring a question before we talk. That would be the smart thing to do. Yeah, whatever.

And that's why we'll never do it. Tim Johnson says, as a guy myself, and I want to be clear that Tim Johnson is a snowboard slash art addict, I would only do this with someone I'm pretty close to already. My advice is, one, listen to your instinct, and two, think about it logically. Obviously, I can't tell you what your instinct says, but logically, you wouldn't hug someone unless you like them a lot, and it makes you feel good. That's so true. People who find something that makes them feel good, generally, they keep doing it. Hope that helps.

This guy is addicted to hugs. Follow your instincts. This guy's name is Tim, and his picture is a minion. That's beautiful. Does your hubby wub you so much? What does the pulse of the back of your neck say? snowboard slash art addict is really speaking to me

yeah here's a question that they asked if a person has very low IQ is mean and lazy will they die of poverty that's a question from this person the answer has got to be yes there's no answers on it

otherwise the whole system wouldn't work I know everything about snowboarding and art but I came here to understand poverty I'm Tim Johnson Full name It's fun if you imagine a minion asking it Yeah it is kind of fun

Oh that's so true Minions can be quite cruel If you have a low IQ and no banana Will you die of poverty? If you don't work for an evil genius of some kind Will you die of poverty? I hope so Or else this money is for nothing

Well the thing about the minions is They're attached to I want to say Groot, but that's not his name. What's, um... Oh, I don't know. Steven, uh... I'll look it up. No, no, no.

No more of him. Steven, not Colbert, the other one, the office one. Colb. No, wait, he just said that. The office guy, Corral. This is pathetic. Steve Corral. Steve Corral is an evil genius.

Gru. His name is Gru, and it's not Groot. We threw that T on it, but it's just Gru. It's half of Gru. I saw this movie, like, a million years ago. And anyway, so he, like, makes the minions. he like has they're like

oompa loompas for him you know how we did that episode recently we were talking about legal stuff and that guy commented like

as a lawyer it was extremely difficult for me to watch this question because you guys were so wrong about everything that's going to be

every one of our viewers this week just being like it's true Steve Carell is going to turn it off but he gets

to the part where we call him Stephen Colbert for five minutes they worked together they were on the Dana Carvey show together

they had that segment and the daily show to stevens steven what if i believe it was called even stevens is venom to stevens like not asking that is one question that they won't let you all right let's do our next question i'm sick of this one we don't want to do that he loves you and you don't appreciate it can i just say i want to read one more from this this person bella butcher assuming that this is a normal guy probably just wants to hug you for a while yeah he'll get bored he'll get bored and fall off he'll wear himself out get tired just let him just get it out of his system get it out now

oh all right we don't have to read wubs use as much but one of those people suggested he was trying to pick your pocket it's very possible i love that strategy to pick a pocket it's just i'm gonna hug you for a long time and somehow in the process i'm taking things well because Because when you let go, they'll be happy you're gone. They won't check their pockets and realize, oh, I'm a little bit lighter than before. It's worth my wallet to get this Venom-esque character off of me. It's not Venom.

It was described as Venom-esque. I think all men are Venoms, let me tell you. Ladies? We've got to get away from Venom. You know who else needs to? Eddie Brock. Dysfunctional relationship. Well, that's debatable, honestly, because they kind of have become one superhero together.

Are they two guys? Famously. We're not talking about it. I've got a question for us. I really need a bare-bottoms spanking. I'm disrespectful, and I need discipline. What do I do? That's great, man.

That's awesome. So the fact that you've accepted it shows a lot of growth. um you you need a daddy to come and hit you with a paddle yeah you do yeah you need a time out yeah no dessert there's no way i could be sure of this but do we have this question and one about daddy hitting you with a paddle i don't know probably i haven't looked at this yet okay just Let's do a quick peruse for that, because we will not redo with these. Control F, daddy. I don't think we do.

Okay, good. Thank God. Okay, so yeah, you need a disciplinarian in your life. Are you joking? Because that's the top comment. Find a disciplinarian. I haven't read this. I haven't read this.

That's from Jessica Anderson. Homemaker slash husband tamer. Oh. Wait a minute. This is Alex's wife. No, it's not. No, it's not. She doesn't use social media

She's scared of it Do you see these often? Because this is clearly somebody Who's just looking for erotica Basically There's websites Why would you go to Quora? You know what's a good website for it actually

Is Quora Where one half of the answers Are erotica prompts I think it's just like Sometimes these people They don't want to watch porn They just want someone to say it to them So they're just like

i've been very bad what should happen to me and then someone's like you should be spanked and they're like oh my god their version of porn is somebody just be like oh my stepsister was stuck in the washing machine isn't that nuts what do you get stuck on they're designed not to do that yeah it doesn't really make any sense what are you stuck on in there this is just a hang-up i have um like something's gone terribly wrong if you're stuck oh my god the related questions also and anybody who complains about the question choices this week they could be so much worse i'm seeing what was your worst bare bottom spanking top 10 worst bare bottom spanking

When daddy got me on his knee, number 10. The problem with these questions is that immediately all of them were like, when I was 12, and I'm like, I'm not going to read the rest of that. Nope, nope, nope. I don't want to know. When I was almost 28, a friend got me to lie down in the back of his car in a hotel parking lot. Someone wanted to spank me. I didn't know what he meant, bare bottom. I didn't know you meant bare bottom.

I'm only 28. Anyway, let me read Jessica's answer. What have I done wrong? Find a disciplinarian. They are out there and can give you exactly what you feel you need slash deserve. Good luck. Hey, good luck. You've been bad.

Find a disciplinarian. Like, just heading down to the local school. Yeah, get a principal. Oh, this is a really good one from New York disciplinarian who lives in New York City and wrote this answer only a few weeks ago. Let's go find them. I know, right? Let's bring them on the show.

They say, this is not a difficult question. Simply find someone who knows how to give good punishment spanking. As a disciplinarian, this is something I do frequently here in New York. Big city, big hustle. I want to know everything about this person. The big apple home at the bare bottom spanking. This is Jeremy's account. I am 46, a professor in New York.

I have mentored several men and women trying to achieve different goals by utilizing various motivational slash disciplinary techniques. Okay. Time management skills. That's interesting. So it's like a sexy job for you. I am also a partner. I'm also seeking a partner.

Parentheses, I am divorced. I can't imagine why. Honey, it's just business. They've been bad. I want to talk to this person. You're always trying to take me away from my work with these coeds. this person is on quora like every day so are we oh yeah that's true i feel like it's a real glass houses situation loser loser this person has asked zero questions about you deserve a

spanking i kind of want to interview that person but they do seem kind of boring well they're professors someone says school we were right about that uh moon deer whose qualification is God has used me to be a vessel in spreading the gospel, says, is this some kind of sexual thing? It's a great question, honestly. No, it is not, Moon Deer. And then someone else, Daniel Santo, says, message me. That's normal, though.

On this thread, that's normal. No, to Moon Deer. Because Moon Deer has an AI photo of a woman. Ooh, and she's sexy. Okay, so Moon Deer, so this guy's going to explain the post to Moon Deer? This person's going to do Corators to Moon Deer? I think this guy saw an AI drawing of an angel and was like, I want to have sex with this real woman. Moon Deer, you're the one I've been waiting for.

Oh, she's a vestal and spreading the gospel. That's what I'm into. I need a vessel. I'm actually a punishment professor in New York City. I'm looking for a TA. Tits and ass, that is. Nice. Sick, dude.

By the way, you can use that, whatever your name is, New York sexy professor. Feel free. T-A-S, that's yours. Are you 46 and looking to spank? Feel free to eat. I'm looking to spank. Anyway, a lot of the comments are just saying, like, let me help you. Yeah, that's normal, though.

That's like, this is the most normal time to post that. Oh, I like this one from Linda. Get therapy. You're sick. Ha-ha, Linda. Linda, Linda. No one is safe. Oh, my God.

Linda is going off on people. I can tell you're doxing Linda now. Linda's bio is TAKE, all caps, KITTEN to the vet, lowercase. She's like a reminder, is the bio. She's on Quora a lot. She sees her bio, and she's like, oh, yeah. Is TAKE KITTEN to the vet a sex thing? It's also possible.

Is that a sex thing, or is that a kitten thing? Maybe. What's your other question? You know, you're only a kitten for such a small amount of time. By the time you're one year old, you're a cat. You're fully grown. You've got a limited window to go to the vet. absolutely um this is a question for husband so alex and i get you know listen up if you're an

alex or jeremy you're about to learn a thing or two let's go check out these sleeves do not roll out i'm punching above my weight here this question is so sad and it is do all husbands stop kissing their wives after marriage huh now i've noticed many of them keep kissing them They just keep kissing And the kisses never stop A husband's the kind of animal Who might hug you and never let go I'll tell you that much right now

Husbands love to kiss But sometimes Husbands don't want to kiss anymore They were using you for an elaborate ruse To get married To fool their family And end their kissing I'm retired

They're sick of kissing They had to just get it out of the way Had to come out for one last kiss this is supposed to be my last day we need you for one more job I would say if you don't do any more kisses and you're not

anti-kiss in concept sure you may need to leave your wife yeah that's true you should probably divorce your husband if you're asking this question or is the husband not asking the question I assume this is husband to husband

No, I thought this was a wife. This is a wife going, is this normal? Do husbands all stop kissing their wives? Wife here. Lonely wife here. Where are my kisses? I've been bad. It's very sad, though.

I mean, I could try to find the question and see if it was asked by, like, lonely wife 14 or whatever. Do you think it's like an eroticism prompt, maybe? Wait a minute. Maybe he just wants a little attention. What the fuck? This may be AI? What? All right, do not let the robots know what husbands do.

I thought this was one husband to the next. We've been catfished. We've been catfished by an AI husband. I don't know what this is. So this was asked by Quora Prompt Generator, and it says this is an experiment from Quora. We may share results at the conclusion of the experiment.

In the meantime, you may disregard the questions or block the account if you're not interested in asking questions from Quora. If you have any feedback, feel free to reach out to quoraproductfeedback.quora.com I don't understand what this is. It makes me scared.

It's a prompt generator and they're impersonating people like us. Do you think it's AI or do you think it's a person? No, it's a prompt generator. I think it's an AI. It's a robot. It's trying to find out what husbands know to supply the hive mind with their loving knowledge. We're trying to build a robo-husband. We must stop them.

Loving, faithful. I want to understand the husband. Initiate ring on finger. Pav, you are confused robot. Pav. Return to my man cave. um this bums me out but this is just i wanted to be a sad real woman yeah now it's just a robot pretending to be a sad real woman if you're a fake person do not ask what husbands know

do not gain our husband knowledge that's for our community the husband community yeah we meet up we meet up we podcast we watch football game we watched a big game we clink we watch teen wolf we watch teen wolf in patreon one time or blade or those are the two movies we watch and then you end movie night we're like no more we've seen every movie that needs to be seen it doesn't seem like it went over as well as you'd hoped anyway uh i guess i'll read some of these answers because one of them is pretty good this is from len carter who i believe is a human being and I don't know anymore.

Human man here. Len says, some men, parentheses slobs, think after a month or two they forget all the weird and wonderful things they did to delight and influence

or the money they spent trying to romance and win this fantastic babe. This is slobs who do this? I told you I was gonna get racial. All she truly wants is a kiss, a cuddle, and the man she loves

to pay attention to her. The men that do pay attention to the honest needs and desires of any woman guess to have and to hold and to, quote, kiss until death do they part. Ever heard of it? I recommend the latter. It's worked for me for 61 years, and the divorce rate may be high, but in this house, me and the, quote, babe are still going, even if it isn't so raunchy or passionate as it once was.

Oh, baby! I've been married for 61 years. This is the thing, too, is you get some really wise elders on Quora who know how to rap. Thanks, Glenn. Thanks, Glenn. He worked at CBC News. Don't steal my sunshine with that great answer. It was Len, right?

It wasn't Glenn? Okay, just checking. That sounds right. Just checking. All right. Should we read the AI answer? No. Stay away from them.

They're using us for the hive mind. I don't like them. I'm kind of curious. I don't want to participate in their robo-journey. I want to read it, because it's an AI question. I think we have to read an AI answer. I'm sorry, because the bots are talking to each other. I'm crossing my arms.

This bot asked a question, do all husbands stop kissing their wives after marriage? And another bot said, no, not all husbands stop kissing their wives after marriage. Every relationship is unique, and different couples have different ways of expressing their love and affection. Some couples may continue to kiss frequently and affectionately throughout their marriage.

So it's like the T-2000. Yeah. It turns into liquid. and it answers the other robot's questions. I like that the AI saw a question that was like, I'm extremely sad. My husband doesn't kiss me. Is this normal?

And the AI was like, maybe. Is it normal? I don't know. Some people are different. I'm trying to help. See, I'm scared that this robot's going to take my job on our relationship advice program. It's got sacred knowledge like some husbands kiss their wives,

but others don't. Look at this related one. Married couples, how many times a day do you kiss your spouse? Is it a peck, French, or full-on make-out? My husband and I only do it once a day, and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. My husband and I French kiss once a day.

Is this normal? I show my love by playing tonsil hockey with my husband and spouse. We had bleachers installed in our living room to meet up behind them. My partner keeps going out on his own because he says he needs to feed on human flesh. He's at the nightclub.

Is that normal? I don't like that we're helping the robots get smarter. I feel like I'm betraying the human race. I'm upset. I feel like Venom over here. No, you don't. Venom is not in this situation. This question is in the Quora community prison talk.

Great. I don't have a sound for that. That's awesome. Prison talk. 77,000 followers come into Quora to learn about prison. A lot of people go to prison. I got to admit, I would be all over, like, Googling questions if I was going to prison. I would be like, uniforms, do they do those, or do I get to choose my own outfits?

Like, stuff like that. Welcome to prison talk. Welcome to prison talk with your boys, the chain gang. My BF committed a felony and now wants me to take his blame and punishment. If I'm going to do it, what should I bear in mind? Will I survive a prison sentence? I'm very soft and weak. now the detail at the end here pretty crucial because it sounds like you won't survive with

a soft and weak you are how weak and soft and here's another thing before we get into it the question is not should i take a prison sentence for my boyfriend that's gonna throw off a lot of the answers they're gonna say no don't do this he killed that guy not you don't go to jail for him that's not the question the question is what do i do about it i'm small and weak i'm not gonna survive how about that yeah should i bear in mind what should i bear in mind is the question yes being a fall guy for my beloved boyfriend so i think what you should bear in mind is that you're soft and weak and just to like wear that on your sleeve and adapt in like that like don't try to be a tough gal no you don't think you should try to find this one person slightly smaller and weaker

than you and beat them up well the first day you got to go to them and cry in front of them You have to establish yourself as the softest and weakest. Women in prison is different. I'm the tiniest, wimpiest guy in here. You don't know if it's a woman. I don't know if you've seen Orange is the New Black, but one person is different. That's true.

There's no evidence that this is a woman. This could be a soft and weak man. It could be a soft and weak man in a gay relationship, in which case, yeah, I don't know. Advice doesn't change that much. What should you bear in mind? You're fucked. You are small, and you're weak, and you're soft.

Yeah. You're like a bird. You're a baby bird. You're a baby bird, and they're putting you in the cage. You're going to get chewed up and spit out like a worm. This is real prison talk. They're going to treat you like a bird and a worm in there. At the same time.

It's going to be crazy. Watch out for the early bird, fella. They're going to get you. All right, what are the answers on this? Anita Bonita says, honey, it doesn't matter if he's your BF, your husband, or your neighbor's cat. No real man would ask this of his girlfriend if he respected her and planned to stick by her side. Again, not the question. Not the question.

She's going. That's it. Look, if you have enough wherewithal to come online and ask a network of strangers what you should do, it means that your subconscious is sounding the alarm, but you're too busy second-guessing yourself to pay it any mind. Being soft and weak is a choice. And if you choose to keep telling yourself and anyone who will listen that that's who you are, that's all you'll be. So, okay, she's saying do go the other way with it then. Start breaking arms, beat up a big guy, hit him with a folding chair.

Try being hard and strong this time. Oh, no, see, I don't know. It's too risky. I wouldn't do it. Just try that. Just give it a try being hard and strong. Have you considered being a Venom-like character? No, Alex, no.

Alex, bad. I'm just saying it's more relevant than ever for this one. Also, is Venom hard? No, he's very soft and slimy. He can be hard when his arms transform. He's not hard. He explained that he was a loser on his home planet. If you hit water at a certain speed, it becomes hard.

Like, if you jump off the George Washington Bridge, that the water hits hard. If you jumped off the George Washington Bridge and landed on Venom, you would not survive. Would you bounce back up? Depends on Venom's mood. Remember in Venom What he goes

I was a loser On my planet I hated that Nobody liked me there That made me so mad I have never seen this That could be a thing That's in it

That's in there Also Tom Hardy kisses Venom Wait I'm gonna find it I was really into Venom Star Wars It's a It's a beautiful romcom

Look at Venom Making out with Tom Hardy She Venom Yeah, it's Girl Venom. It's She Venom. She Venom. She Hulk, She Venom. She Venom.

She go to jail for her boyfriend. That's when Venom had boobs. Oh, Venom movie scene in Hindi. Yeah, we could watch it in Hindi if we want. This part's a lot better on the video because the audio isn't getting these pictures of She Venom. Yeah. You could be so titillated right now

if you were watching this on YouTube. It's quite a way to start your day. Get off of Apple Podcasts. Look at these She Venoms. Look at these she-venoms. She-bangs. Remember that? Wow, classic.

It's just reading these answers that are like, if your boyfriend's asking you to be a scapegoat for a felony, he doesn't give two shits about you. It's like, yeah, dude. Yeah, we know that. The point is, I'm going to jail for him. And I need to know karate now. Why is everyone in the prison talk community, like,

talk so, like, I don't know, flowery? Like, this person says, have you lost your ever-loving mind? This is how they talk in the clique. This is a stirred mama. It's keeping you out of jail. That's true. All right, let's read the next one. How do I tell my boyfriend he's ugly without him being sad?

Oh, my God. So, he must really need to hear it in this one. He must be a real toad. Oh, no. And he's going around being like, I'm so hot. This is what I'm thinking. The only reason you would need to hear this is if you're, like, way overshooting your shot, like, around town. But even then, who cares?

And I feel like those really confident uggos do well. And so it doesn't matter that they're ugly. He probably knows he's a little worm. What if they're just like, I'm so hot, I could probably walk into, like, a police station with a gun and no one would care. She's like, you're ugly, you're ugly. Like, he's, like, going to do something dangerous. I don't want you to be sad. I just want you to be safe.

Yeah. I can steal a cop's gun. I have abs. Exactly. Yeah. I could grab it. He'll look at my face and he'll be like, oh, my God. You look like a pile of pudding.

Black. One question. Slimy pudding. That reminds me of something. It's forming a face. Well, what does the face look like? It's a big grin. This pudding has some kind of blades for arms.

I'm trying to focus and it's really hard. I guess one way I would take this question is like what insult could he use that's like a mild put down that's still like it puts him in his place but it doesn't ruin his life BF you're mid

yeah call your boyfriend mid but that's sometimes more hurtful than even being ugly is being mid if your wife called you mid would you be upset about it I'd be upset about it I'd expect her to call me a total 10 out of 10 yeah yeah being made is very being ugly is one thing because it's just like oh you're mad at me

being made this is a sober decision you made yeah ranking me six out of ten like we said being ugly is just you're mad at me like you're lady gaga and a star is born in the bathtub or whatever why are you lying you're just ugly hey compliment kind of thing you could be like uh hey you're you're beautiful to i don't care what anybody says you're beautiful to me sure that's yeah that's actually not a bad idea that's the way to do that's the compliment sandwich i remember i don't care what anyone says bread you're beautiful to me and then also bread and then the middle implied nasty meat of how ugly you look i remember somebody just um in high school saying that his girlfriend was really hot and then was like and you know what beauty's in the

eye of the beholder and i was like that means she's not yeah he was like wait what and he like he didn't get it i mean we are all beholding my hot girlfriend what a pleasure to be cold anyways that's what you could do you could be like yeah i think you're really hot take up in the eye of the beholder take a picture of my girlfriend it'll last longer society doesn't agree with me but i think you're hot six of one my girlfriend of the other listen you can't even call my bf hot these days because of woke they won't let me say it but i'm saying it thank you because of both light i can't call my boyfriend beautiful relationship is a free speech zone because of wokeness i'm not allowed

to be gay that is a terrible emerging problem i think you could say uh you could call your boyfriend um like untraditionally attractive oh that's good oh he's untraditionally that makes you also just sound like you're being very woke as well like you're just like yeah you're not conventional like yeah exactly the magazines won't understand how hot you unconventional you're like hot in like the way that no one else thinks that no one's gonna say you're gonna be on the man maxim 100 you know how we've had beauty standards for thousands of years you're hot but not according to that oh how's this okay so you the man maxim 100 has car man electro i mean you can't talk about carman electric car man electric it's different it's a sexy man carman electric car man

a big sexy car that's beautiful yeah it's still pretty a hell of a thing to look at anyway everybody in the comments mad as hell about yeah everyone's like don't do it which is again Not the question You gotta understand This man is acting Out of pocket You don't People on Quora

Don't understand Like their job Is not to convince The Quora questioner That their question Is wrong That is not your job You're a consultant

For your wisdom Your job is to answer The question We don't know their wife We don't know their situation Maybe this boyfriend Needs to be fucking Taken down a notch

He needs to be removed From the sexual pyramid He lives on He keeps trying to Steal cops guns He thinks it's a sex thing It's for his own good to protect this BF.

His name's Shooter. He named himself Shooter. He legally changed his name to that. But you know what? That's why it says Quarriators on our flag and not yours. Quote from the BF. Alex is shooting a sideways finger gun.

It's upside down. That one's upside down. I don't care who that hits. Point it right at Rob. He's looking scared. He's looking scared over there. Dude, Rob jumped. Yeah, dude.

He thought I was going to blast his ass. I'm just playing, Rob. I'm just playing. I think Rob is unconventionally. Why are you insulting Rob? Don't make Rob cry. He said nothing but hang your flag today. I think it's not like he jacked me off.

That's not what happened. Trying to get bottom spanked to get my flag. Wait, you went bare bottom? This person says he's not ugly. Again, you don't know this. He could be really ugly. He could be dangerously ugly. Disgusting, disgusting man.

I just feel like it's worth bringing up again. If you were an audio listener, there's a giant flag behind this guy. If you missed that part, if you tuned out for a minute, if you were ordering your coffee when we explained that, sorry. Salute now. Yeah, please do salute. We're giving you a moment. If it touches the ground, you are going to jail.

Or a prison. You have to go on prison talk if it touches the ground. I guess we have to. That's real talk. All right, let's do another one. This one is unanswered. This question is, where are the baby girls looking for a daddy? I love that when I got here, Alex was like, hey, so we're going to do relationship questions because you do a relationship advice show.

Yeah. Where are they, Donovan? Okay. Where are the baby girls? Donovan, have you considered that baby girls is spelled with a U and not an I? Where are my baby girls? That makes it a relationship question. Do you want to know how I found this?

Do you want to know how I found this one? You do search baby girls. I searched the word baby girl with a U. Search the word baby girl with a U. And it was mostly accounts named baby girl, which was misleading. But I found this one. That's awesome. And so my question is, where are these baby girls?

There's no answer because they're hiding. They're hiding from daddy. We don't know. Got to lure them out. What do baby girls like? Now, this question was asked by Joe Mama. That's like the opposite of a daddy. Joe Mama.

So alive right now. And almost all of his questions are about incest. Well, that does put an unfortunate spin on it. But pretend that isn't the case. And where are these baby girls? yeah i like that you said it like a politician yeah we will find these baby girls i think it's like a tywin lannister type sure once you have their baby girls then they're over your knee find me the baby girls for daddy do you know how daddy built casterly rock

lannister always pays his baby girls sorry i'm loving this this is the new show but that's how he died because he was with tyrian's baby girl yeah he stole his son's baby girl you can't do that is that a problem can i steal my son's baby girl without worrying about getting shot by a crossbow what's up rob oh yeah there you go that is the question there you go that one's locked in It does seem the answer to this, because there was no response, is ruledoutquora.com is where the baby girls are. You've got to head over to, like, does Yahoo Answers still exist? You need a regional question website. Yahoo Answers is gone.

We were looking this up before, but, like, there are people who are like, any girls reading my post? And it's like, yes, they're millions of miles away from you. And 100% of them are guests on our podcast. Hey, that's not true. There's lots of loving mothers on Quora.com. Joe Mama. And Joe Mama. We have a lot of questions left.

As far as we can tell, an incestuous man. Now, I like this one because you wrote parentheses good answers on it. There are good answers on it, which is not true for all of them. Waitresses keep flirting with my BF right in front of me. I get so upset. How should I handle these situations? Is there anything worse, guys, than when these waitresses are trying to peel you away from the love of your life? I can't keep them off of me.

I'm just trying to eat my patty melt in peace. Just flirt with me. I'm just trying to knock this grand slam off of my plate. You keep trying to take me home. I need my energy. They keep flirting with my boyfriend. They keep trying to give him pancakes and refill his coffee. How much does a waitress flirt with you for your wife to get upset?

I think you mean girlfriend. Or girlfriend to get upset. This is a wife B. I'm a BF and my wife's a wife. Hey, you'll get there. We're half married. The problem is that if you become a husband, you have to stop kissing.

That's true. You can only give one French an A. So you just need to promote your GF and keep yours dead. And that's a StarCraft tip. Yep. That's like you have to get the right tower to be able to do that. Two base. It's pretty much fast two base.

You need a lot of S-Feed gas for that. it's kind of cheesy to promote your wife while retaining your boyfriend's status uh but at the same time you know what else is cheesy is these eggs on i'm having at denny's while the waitress keeps trying to suck on my hog all dang day and so my question is she asked if you want sausage what can i do i guess like that's my question is like what is she saying to you right that's so out of pocket well you know what like is it like actually harassment is like do You want sausage like I'm looking for sausage. Real answer, I think a lot of men do just flirt with waitresses.

And I bet it's not the waitress's fault. I bet this person's real question is like, how do I get my boyfriend to stop hitting on every waitress? This is what I'm wondering, too. Or is this partner, is the GF slash wife in this situation, is she just sensitive and the waitress comes up and is like, can I top off your coffee? That's the one I think it is.

Maybe when they say a sweet word to you. She gave you that second cup for free She's probably trying to get your energy up So you can plow harder I can remember as a kid My friend's dad being too flirty with a waitress That happens for sure But I don't think we should go so strong

The other way that we're doing Horny waitress erasure Because there are waitresses out here Who do not know how to act I'm so sorry to all the men out there. We're assuming. You're assuming and it's wrong. Anyway, all the comments are like, you got to kill this bitch.

Bring a gun to daddy's. This one person says, this happens with me all the time. I was used to frequenting this drug store near my previous residence, and I knew the girl who works there. She was a nice, friendly girl. When my boyfriend was visiting me one time, I made a stop there with boyfriend trailing behind. I made a quick purchase and greeted the girl at the checkout.

After a distracted response, she goes, there's a hot bod there. I would totally date him. I smiled. I agree, girl. So would I. Actually, I am. Filling spree. Firm boundary.

I waved him over and watched with amusement when she tried to apologize. Don't be sorry. You didn't say anything wrong. My boyfriend attracts that kind of attention. The girl at Starbucks, the woman at McDonald's drive-thru, at the checkout counter, ah. I normally watch all this with quiet amusement. My boyfriend, on the other hand, gets flustered and starts looking around, trying to spot me so I can save him.

TBH, I find this so endearing and amusing. My fine boyfriend can't go anywhere. Don't tell him. But in reality, these women are just flirting, harmlessly. It's human nature to appreciate attractiveness. Take it in your stride. There is absolutely nothing in this to get passive-aggressive about. Be happy about it.

After all, doesn't it show you have such fine taste, Winky Face? Winky Face, exclamation point. What a fine dish you've brought to the bank today. It's so hard dating Ryan Gosling and bringing him around everywhere and everybody's trying to steal him from you. This is like Jenny Slate had to dump Chris Evans. Go to the McDonald's counter and they're like, oh, that's a large order of fries right there.

And at McDonald's, there's no higher compliment. That's a real muffin. What a super-sized dish you have. This really long one is just a waitress being like, I'm trying to get tips. Fuck you. Dad, that's normal. Fair enough.

Yeah, you're trying to get my man's tip. I am not paid a normal amount of money. Please give me money. I will call your boyfriend honey if that's what it takes. I will steal your man. They're trying to kill me Oh my god This is

Well You said you wanted to talk about Good answers You said you wanted to talk about Racist League Alex You know We're good I take it back now

Should I not read this question This answer You have to use your own judgment on that I can't see it I'm gonna do it I can't see it Should I not I'll take it out

If it's too bad Let's go. All right. I'm just going to say that this is a bad person who we don't endorse. We do not endorse this Quora answer. Unfortunately, this man's name is Jeremy. The question's going to cut here. It's kind of the other half to the Jeremy venom.

Yeah, exactly. Anyway, I do not endorse this Jeremy. But Jeremy says, you handle these situations by realizing that your boyfriend is a grown man who is capable of making his own decisions and is not compelled to have sex with any woman who forts with him. you're getting upset because on some level you don't trust your boyfriend not to reciprocate when a woman hits on him my wife has had a fair amount of guys hit on her parentheses it's terrible but it's always black men uh-huh it doesn't bother me i mostly chuckle and laugh i don't get upset

because i trust my wife and i know that no matter how many dudes hit on her she's not going to choose them over me parentheses because she is racist that's the whole answer i thought that was gonna be way worse i'm sorry i didn't mean to that is like that is the kind of thing though where it's just like, wow, you didn't need that one detail. That's what's weird about it. That's kind of rude. Maybe you should change how you talk a little bit. Okay.

No, yeah, I didn't mean to make it sound like it was way more, but I don't know. It's just this big MCU guy. One follower I know. That's interesting. I think this is you. This is you. This is the goof.

He is looking bad. We're not putting this picture up. He's a heavily left-leaning atheist, avid gamer, and huge overall nerd. That's awesome. This guy might listen to the podcast. Shouts out, Jeremy. Here's the thing. My wife mostly attacks black guys.

And by that, I mean Venom. Also, this guy has a very long bio about how he's re-watching all the MCU movies. He loves Diablo. He has a good tag. And at the end, in bold, it says, finally, do not add me on Facebook. I feel the same way, honestly. Not about all the bad things we didn't like, but about the Facebook thing. Why do black men keep hitting on my beautiful wife?

Do not follow me on Facebook, though. My dream is to be part of that legendary walled garden inner circle, Jeremy's Facebook. For close friends only. It's a big circle. Jeremy, if you're listening, please hit me up. We talked about this on a bonus a few weeks ago. Jeremy got paid on Facebook. I did get paid.

They sent me $150. For doing so many posts. Mark Zuckerberg was like, you're keeping us alive, Jeremy. Keep it up. It's only I was at the top one percentile of pages because I had negative 1% follower growth that month. God damn. I'm doing Facebook wrong.

Oh, yeah, dude. Mark Zuckerberg only sends me bills. Follow me on Facebook for some reason. You can. You guys got Facebook? um this i'm wearing a shirt from my old facebook page oh i was wondering what you were doing there because i thought you were making the blood symbol mark zuckerberg knows for the audio listeners jeremy then just did like magic hands

to kind of show what it would really be like to be clear this is me and not the racist chairman No, a different Jeremy. Good Jeremy. Rob can do it. The one guy off camera is doing it right now, I assure you. If you weren't sitting in a very weird, uncomfortable looking position, I would make you go up and do it

in front of the camera. In front of the flag. Get in front of the flag and make the blood symbol. Yeah, we'll do it on a bonus. Yeah, you gotta pay for that. Sign up to see the blood hands. Crips hate this one trick.

is there like a blue question website that could be like the now that's something we do it doesn't look like we've chosen a side it does we're making the blood hands there's a red flag behind us careful in la listeners if you're flying the quora flag this is a new york podcast alex has a bandana on i think it's cool i came here strapped well you stole that from a cop um well i just want to read this one more from this guy scott he says you could make a fence of barbed wire around him and make grr noises if they come within an exclusion zone that's a great idea no you can't shut up that's just imprisoning your boyfriend you're at you're at a restaurant that's the question someone did a gif of a tongue licking

lips that's awesome all right we're moving on all right we're moving on but those were some great answers god i don't know what that was um what are the rules for dating your teenage daughter okay i got a few here you gotta drop her off before 10 you gotta shake her daddy's hand yeah that isn't one of the answers i did read the answers before this but um yeah you gotta shake her daddy's hand you gotta play xbox with me That's so true. You're going to add me on Xbox Live. Imagine you only want your daughter to date someone who's really good at doubles and Halo with you or something.

They have to be good at gaming for you. Sorry, my dad wants you to show up an hour early to test you. I can't do ranked and apex with only doubles. We need one more on our team. What's your APM? My dad won't date you. He wants you to do this quick FPS test. will you join my clan by that i mean marry my daughter

anyway those are the rules yeah that's my rule mostly is video game based questions um the top comment is generally you should not date your daughter you know folks this is a comedy podcast this is the one non-incel not incel uh incest question on here this is a normal weird dad question it's a question by daddies for daddies Bye, daddies for daddies. Stay away from my teenage daughter. You're here on Daddy Quora. There's a themed episode, Daddy Quora.

Daddy Quora. All daddies all the time. I'm going to skip and go to the next one. Get on the lap. This is our final question for relationship advice. Our final Quora romance question. What are the good films to watch with a MILF? Oh, baby.

What's their recent film with the Eminem song in it? I think MILFs would love that one. Well, everyone loves that one. Everyone loves that one. That's just good if you can't think of anything. I think 1999 was a hell of a year for movies. And you can use that knowledge with this older, beautiful milf. American Pie.

That's got to be one, right? That's a famous milf movie. Get your milf down here and watch some American Pie. You can be like, that's you. You like that, baby? You're Stifler's mom. That's Eugene Levy. You're married to Eugene Levy.

Pretty good, right? Who wouldn't want to be married to you? I'm kind of like a young Stifler. Well, no, then it gets weird. You've got to be Stifler's friend, right? So, whatever. The point is the age gap. It's not the...

Although, are MILFs always with a young man? So, I searched the word MILF, and cougar MILF differentiation came up a lot. But they're totally different, so I didn't put it on the dog. If you're married to a mother, then you've got a MILF on your hands. Then you've got a beautiful MILF. You've got a mother that you love to fuck. That's just what you have. Mother that you did fuck.

Yeah. You loved it. You did the deed. And it changed the game. And maybe she's also a miffle. Mother I fucking love. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Shout out to all the moms out there.

We love you. You raised this podcast right. Oh, the answers are so good on this. Okay, let's wrap real quick. The top answer is it doesn't matter what movie you watch. Ultimately, she's going to give it to you. Just put on some lighthearted movie and take her. Uh-huh, honey.

Just throw on happy feet and go to pound town with this woman, mama. I'm trying to think of what would be a good movie for a MILF. I've never seen Spawn. Maybe Raising Arizona. Yeah, there's all kinds of good ones. I'm assuming the MILF likes classical literature. Like Spawn? Spawn.

Todd McFarlane. Casablanca. Spawn. Adam. Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's a great MILF one. These are just photos of MILFs. This woman says, 2012, sexy baby.

A documentary about sexiness in the cyber age. Documentary. This is a documentary called 2012 Sexy Baby. Is that real? Can you Google 2012 Sexy Baby without me immediately going to jail? I don't think this is real, Alex. I think this is just a porn bot. They're going to think that I'm trying to date an 11-year-old

when really I'm looking for the film 2012 Sexy Baby. All right, we're looking that up. Jamie, look that up. Jamie, pull up that Sexy Baby. 2012 Sexy Baby is a movie from 2012. Oh, there you go. There you go They all call me crazy

A 12 year old girl and a 22 year old Who yearns for a normal private parts Are chronicled in this thought provoking doc About how porn, social media and pop culture Affect women and girls This is a good movie to watch with your milf I'm not trying to provoke thoughts right now No this is bad

There's one kind of thought I'm trying to provoke And that's what if Venom ate your brain Featured review 2 out of 10 stars Depressing you don't want to get your milk try to bring her down keep it cool that way she lasts longer do not watch this with a milf please put my milf in the fridge um someone says the girl next door 2004 i would say gone girl that's what i would watch with a milf gone milf how about uh max kiebel's big move

now i found the max keebles big milf this guy's name is neil the guy who asked this he's a writer at medium parentheses social media good nice try he's so horny neil's so horny a lot of his questions are about like technology yeah it's a devops engineer yeah and a lot of them are about like can people see if i'm on only fans oh no how can i restore a deleted account on OnlyFans. Oh, Neil. That's us. Oh, you've been a bit of a problem, huh? What makes Will Smith credible for the best

actor at Academy? Oh, because he's been in so many movies. Many of which would be great to sit down with your MILF and have some joy for the evening. What about that one where it's him and his son and they're like in space, but it's on Earth?

Oh, is that called After Earth? After Earth. Is that what that's called? It's called Will Smith and Son. Is After Earth two guys? MILFs love After Earth because it has so much of the family unit. Welcome to After Earth. Anyway, that's that question. Let's move on to politics.

Yeah, let's change it up a little bit. Switch it up big time to politics. This is the quiz course. We've got two quick politics questions because we know that you love politics so much. Yeah, Donna's always... I'm an expert. He's harvesting the sacred cows.

Yeah. i'm the senator of chicago he's kind of uh approaching tort reform so this is a good politics question let's talk milf law is it sexist to wish a happy milf day here we go what is political about this the liberals are back at it again with milf day you're supposed to say merry milf day there's a there's a war on milf day go to starbucks and they say happy fuckable parent of any gentleman they probably only want you to watch a woke movie with it tiktok's not gonna like that clip when i post it but i'm gonna but here we go

uh there's a war on milf day um jeff castleman says the first words that come to my mind are insulting and creepy not sexist it's supporting milfs how is that insulting and then so what month is milf day in just to flesh out what we're talking about here milf day is um march is it's may 18th march is the same it's may 18th yeah it's it's may 18th like for real no okay all right well i don't you're just so much younger than me and you know about all the hip days i thought What day is MILF? You wear a sombrero. I'm Googling it.

Alex, you're not going to believe it. It's May 2nd. No way! In 2024, it will be May 12th. I was so close. It's like Easter. It changes depending on the year. It's on the Jewish calendar.

Oh, MILF Day is kind of close to July 4th this year. gotta get something for my milf it's related to tubishvat day of the trees this is killing with a subdivision of our listenership Rob's into it the thing is

these milfs, you gotta get them something right I was gonna guess May or March because that starts with M and M is for milf, M is for milf, M is for milkers that's a May I love to love M is for milkers. M is for milkers. May is for may I touch my milf, please?

Always good to ask for permission. Mommy says yes. The problem is once you're married, you can only kiss once a day. That's true. I have no mouth, and yet I must kiss. Mother, I love to kiss. That's called milk. We're killing it today.

There's one answer on there that just says, suppose it's your woman's birthday. If it were your birthday, you'd love it if your woman would do anything you wanted. So you think she'd like that, too? I think it would be nice if on my birthday my wife was like, by the way, happy MILF day. Because this is your day, baby. We've got one more question, and this is a politics question because this is the politics category. And the question is, is Donald Trump an absolute dilf?

Good Lord. Is he? Now, this is going to divide the show because, you know, we're not that kind of show usually. We're not a politics show. Everybody can listen in and enjoy this, and we're going to talk about MILF Day. We're going to talk about things. But here's the thing.

We don't discriminate. Donald Trump, is he a DILF? And I think the real thing is it's a ratio of the fact that he is at minimum a GILF. No, he's not. Because he is like 75 years old. None of his kids. Oh, you know, does Junior and Eric, do they have kids?

They've got to have kids. One of those fuckers has to have some kids. Eric, Trump. They're, like, each 60 years old. Name is Trump. He's so handsome. Pull that up. By the way, Barron, we're a dream guest for the show.

Eric has two children. Eric has two children. We'd love to have Barron on the show. Barron, you're even younger than Jeremy and even taller than me. You've got all of the traits we want. Okay, so Trump is a gilf. Yes, I knew it. Confirmed.

Can you just be a DILF with your, like, what's the word I'm looking for? Infertile heirs? Like, if it's not your fault. Aren't you just promoted to GILF if you're 75? No. All right, I guess you got to have the proof. You got to have the papers. Well, he's a GILF, and can GILFs be daddy?

I mean, they are. They're granddaddy and daddy kind of at the same time. Double down, double your daddy. You just got a double-down W, daddy. And he's the president of the United States. He's the nation's daddy. That's so true. Well, he's not president right now.

But he was. If you believe the woke media. He's not the dad who showed up. He's the dad who, no, wait. He's not the stepdad. He's the dad who showed up. There are women who want to have sex with Donald Trump out there. Yes.

You see them. They'll say, like, they have the signs that say, like, grab me by the pussy. It's actually a salt bee. Do you think he looks worse than he did eight years ago? Eight years ago? Yeah, because he really has a beautiful big shape right now. He's like a cursive D right now. He's very squishy.

He's got the permanent forward stance. Yeah. And that's something a daddy has when they're ready to attack. He kind of stands like a toddler. He's ready to bounce. He's a toddler or he's a daddy who's about to come right over there. hey don't make me lean towards you i like when his arms turn into blades it's my favorite part of donald it's rare but it is terrifying it does happen i've we're searching for some art of that

right now i was trying to find the um do not come oh do not oh oh come on uh yeah that could That could be on the soundboard. I'm going to come. Let's go. We're not topping that, folks. That's the episode. I do think that's the funniest thing that's ever happened. I'm going to come.

Absolutely. I have to play it one more time. I'm sorry. Do not come. Just wait, Kamala. Do not come. I'm going to come. Yeah!

I will say, the do not come gets said a lot in our household. We repeat it to each other often. Well, it's because otherwise you're going to come. Do not come. Do not come. I'm going to bust. Absolutely. All right, well, all the answers here are just, I don't know, who cares?

Yeah, there are people who are mad at daddy. Children who are mad at daddy. Someone says he wishes, or to be precise, he wishes Ivanka. Come on. that's a low blow at donald trump of all people that's our former president come on have some respect someone says dickhead i'd like to forget come on that's not what it stands for um and then someone said this is a dilf and then it's a picture of just, like, a guy.

Look at this guy. If you're listening to the audio, it is, in fact, a DILF. DILFs love to wear a zip-up hoodie over no shirt. If a dad has abs, I feel like it's heretical in a way. I feel like it's not canon. I don't know who this man is, but then they also post John F. Kennedy and Barack Obama, who just is a normal-looking man.

He's like a regular guy there that's not particularly DILF-y. All right, so we've established that DILFs are the president. Yeah. From there, is Donald Trump... Are all presidents daddy? Yes, they're the nation's dad. Is Joe Biden daddy? He is also daddy.

Young Joe Biden was very handsome. Look at those pictures of him. They're all handsome. They're all handsome. That's not true. Have you seen the young president pictures? The young Donald Trump's handsome, too. Rover Cleveland.

What is it? The young Jill Stein's like a knockout. She's incredible. I was just looking at swimsuit magazines and thinking it's young Jill Stein. Nobody got the Playboy in 1965. She was a knockout. Dude, the knockers on young Jill Stein.

I stand by this 100%. I love the Victoria's Secret fashion show where all the Jill Steins walk across the stage. I like that I said that as Rob was opening the door. Yeah, you walked Rob. By pushing back on hot Jill Stein. He's going to look at pictures. Yeah, you had to go to the bathroom to jack off.

We talked about young Jill Stein. I had to look up young Jill Stein. I don't know what she looks like. If they were ugly, they wouldn't be running for president. I don't think I know what normal Jill Stein looks like. I guess I do. How do you even, how do you? I don't see any pictures of her.

How do you host a show with cavemen like this? You know, that's my question. Jill Stein, young. Hillary Clinton, young. Okay, I can't look at any of these. They're all good-looking people. That's why they're politicians. They get, they look weird later.

You know what? Sure. I think everybody's hot. Yeah, they're all beautiful. And waitresses are trying to steal the president from you. And no one's ugly. You don't have to cry. Let's ask a question.

Can I steal my son's baby girl? That's awesome. That's a great one. Write that up in the meantime. I do not mean baby space girl. Spell it right. Spell it right. dono thank you so much for coming on that's been quaraders it's been great slap it five

that's right live in the studio with the flag we got the flag up where can our listeners find you at home and abroad i'm gonna stare right into the camera please please i've learned that you're like supposed to be doing that the whole time it's kind of weird i kept gazing off to the sides i wasn't sure i want to make eye contact with the other people on the show it's like a little guy looking at you i'm scared i'm looking right at you listener uh listen to radio free tote bag it's a dating and relationship advice show you write in the questions you could be the the quora person you write us the questions we answer them it's hosted by me and my my lovely co-host audrey we're doing it for five and a half years that's wild we're experts happy anniversary

uh rftb.me radio free tote bag on everything that's pretty much it we're free to pack on everything where is my baby girl where is she come on dan oh also we have bonus episodes every week very oh wait no that's this week never mind uh we have all kinds of great stuff well i think you're gonna say what the the hitler episode is aren't you talking about yeah we have well it's still behind the episodes behind the paywall we did a whole episode about hitler i swear it's our best episode it's also okay so this is worth this is worth mentioning When I search relationship questions, they're still all about Hitler. Half of the website is Hitler for some reason.

If you're curious about listening to our Patreon, go listen to that episode. Fantastic. Check it out. Buy a month and then unsubscribe if you need. We're telling you to do that. And in the meantime, go ahead and question everything. Yeah, we have a flag now. Fuck you.

Fuck you, fuckers.