Quorators - Jeffrey Epstein's Quora Questions w/ Brace Belden

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What is it like to have lunch with a person, knowing that they're a murderer? Can the U.S. President bring personal friends on Air Force One? What citizenship does a child have if they are born on an international flight? --- Listen to Brace's podcast TrueAnon Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

But I feel like it's an attention span thing. That's like this fucking Instagram reels bullshit. Like before, you know, you read a novel or the equivalent to it, like you'd kill a selection of like sex workers and vagrants over a period of 20 years. And now you're just like, fuck it, I'm going to church. Instant gratification, even for the murderers. It's just like, yeah, it's, it's, it's fucking bullshit, dude. And it's so hard to stand out too.

Like, how are you going to kill people differently in seven minutes than everyone else who's gone psycho before? I mean, let's think. The Joker, right? Zero kill. Excuse me, mass shooter. But then you look into it, he wouldn't even dress like the Joker. He'd just look like that. Oh, sure.

I'm serious. You mean in the movie, The Joker? No, no, no. In the real guy who did the movie theater shooting. Oh, yeah. People thought he was dressed like the Joker. I thought you were talking about the real guy, the Joker. The character, the Joker.

Because in my head, he's a real guy. I got scared of him. But the guy who did the movie theater shooting, he just looked like that. And people were like, oh, he's doing, like, they were very excited about it. Because, like, oh, we got, like, a themed one. Right.

And he wasn't. He just was ugly. I thought he did have purple hair. Yeah, but lots of people do. Yeah, that's true. But in Colorado, that's... That's super out there. That's Democrat behavior.

Yeah, I guess, like, Zodiac Killer was, like, basically a Batman villain. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Unabomber, Zodiac Killer. That's what the Riddler is. They were all doing fun Riddler stuff. Yeah. Have we even had a nicknamed killer in a while?

I mean, that wasn't location-based. Yeah. I don't think so. There was the Zodiac Copycat in New York. The Hillside Strangler. The Boston Strangler. These are also locations, though. A Strangler's crazy, too.

There's a lot of Stranglers. We haven't had a Strangler in a while. The last nicknamed one I can think of is the Night Stalker, and he's pretty old. Night Stalker was awesome. Night Stalker is a great name for a killer. Also, it does not describe at all the stuff he was doing. No. And he was good looking, too.

Was he? The Night Stalker? He was one of the ones that people buried in a jail. I'm thinking of the fucking, they changed his name, but he was like the original Night Stalker. Oh, yeah. The East Area Rapist or whatever. Yeah, that one's not as good. No.

East Area. The East Area Rapist. Going from the Night Stalker to the demoted to the East Area Rapist. Yeah, it's not good. Because there was a guy who did night stalking better than you. He did murder and rape in more areas, so he gets the title. I knew a guy who was kind of a girl stalker. Oh, really?

Oh, warning. He stalked women, you know, and hurt them. Harmless fun. I think it did harm them, but it was like a more mental thing. We need to bring back, like, analog murder. We need to bring back strangle. We need to bring back hunting, just general hunting. Sure, most dangerous game.

Do you think that in places in the Far East, like in China, for example, do you think that there's guys who kicked people so hard that they died many times mysteriously in the 70s? Sure, why not? By the numbers, yes. Someone did that. Like there was a Jackie Chan. Yeah, statistically, there must be. Yeah, it's got to be. Like a Jackie Chan-style guy who ran up a wall and kicked people when they were walking home from work and killed them.

It's probably Jackie Chan. The karate chop killer? Yes, the karate chop killer. Or somebody like a shrieking, you know? The East Asia rapist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched this documentary on Jackie Chan who is always getting seriously hurt all the time.

And whenever he shoots his movies, he has a team he does the fights with. And whenever they bring in an outside guy, he'll actually get punched once while they do their fake punches. And the whole thing stops and there's this very funny interaction where he's just like,

why are you punching me? That's a good point. We're shooting a movie. Do not throw a ladder at me. I'm Jackie Chan. Yeah. Don't hit me off the truck. I'm going to jump off of it.

We should do this podcast. Wait, do you think when Jackie Chan masturbates, he says, I'm ready to Jackie off? I do think he does. No, do you think he... Claire, do you think that... Do you honestly... I'm not joking.

Do you think he jacks off? No. No, you don't think so? I kind of think he doesn't either, yeah. No, I think he saves it all. That's why he's like that. And then... You need it.

Blows it in a woman or two. I think he does probably blow it in a woman or two. But he needs it You mean to do his stunts To do his moves To propel Yeah to like run Onto a bus or whatever

Exactly Because you can kind of Let off a little You know like how Hot air balloons Let off ballast As they like Throw off the sandbags

So if he needs to jump Really high He can jizz a little bit And he loses weight Like when Sonic Has the coins come out Yes Exactly

He gets hit too hard Yeah I'm starting the show I'm starting the show It's a theme song It's four writers and with the sound of the robot we're back it's quarators america's premier quora based podcast all the hosts are here today we have claire jeremy and alex what's going on

Hello. What up? Quarrior's Weather Report. Warmer now. Feeling better. Not a blizzard anymore like last week, which didn't feel safe to do a podcast in, really. No, that's true. It felt a bit fight or flight-y, but that's neither here nor there.

That's over now. We have a very special guest today. We're very excited to have him on the show. Where to begin introducing this figure? Friend of Dylan Saba. Correct. Journalist. Nope.

Conservative with conscience. There we go. Well, the first part. And host of the True or Not podcast, we have Brace Belton today. Brace, welcome on the show. Hello, and might I add, it is a pleasure to be here today. It is, I want a little addendum to your weather report. Not that nice out today.

No? Really? It feels good. Compared to the last week, I feel like. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yesterday was okay. Today, I'm not loving it. I've been in such a fucking hole.

I'm so happy whenever it's not 30 degrees outside. Oh, yeah. I mean, I just, I liked the blizzard a lot. That was good. I heard a lot of people during the confusion. 10 of the 20 who died were just brace. Just put it, just sleep here, sleep here. You know, but I did, I did.

I walked around a lot in the blizzard. It was an unusual time to be around in the city. And then since then, it's kind of just wet. How long ago did you move to New York? Are you just like, is snow new to you? Yeah. Okay. It is.

I mean, snow is cool. Have you been to California? Yeah. It's awesome. It's pretty awesome. It's a vacation place. Alex, have you heard that song? It goes, California love.

Oh, I actually haven't heard that. That sounds really good when you do it. Californication. It sounds good, but I don't know. Well, I'm getting on with the subject here. Brace, you do a show about Jeffrey Epstein and his many travails much of the time. We've talked about him before. From what I understand, this is one sick puppy.

Well, I don't know. I try not to be judgmental. I will say that he was convicted of crimes which I would not do. Night stalker as crime. Well, I have to look into what he did. But I'm trying to be more open-minded. My goal for 2026, I'm trying to be the most open-minded man in human history. Wow.

So I'm letting the facts speak for themselves and I'm not talking back to them. Jeffrey Epstein is an accused and, I guess, convicted child sex predator who did perish. Right. So he definitely did die. He's no longer with us. I don't want to compare him to the Night Stalker. People disagree on that, by the way. A lot of people now are making AI images of him in Israel.

And they're like, there he is. Or they're just finding guys that look like him. Have you guys seen that? There's like some guy On like TikTok or Instagram Who like is like a I don't know what He's like a SoundCloud rapper

But he straight up just looks like Jeffrey Epstein And I'm like that guy's gotta be having Maybe he actually might be working in his favor And all the press is good for him Getting a lot of Lee talks But Jeffrey Epstein yes He is a perished child sex predator Who died just across the little river there

In Chinatown found hanging Well, he actually was kind of just found already hanged. Ouch. I know. Have you seen the after death pictures? No. Disgusting. I bet. He really

fucked himself up or somebody else hurt him quite bad. A lot of after death pictures are pretty disgusting. Sometimes people look as if they're at peace. But you don't, I feel like you don't seem like much of a heaven guy. No. This guy? We were raised Catholics.

Earth is all we have. You were raised Catholic? I was raised Catholic. You went to Catholic school. And it's made me jaded. Circumcised? I am circumcised because- No heaven, no heaven, no heaven.

Well, okay. Is that true? Is that part of Catholicism? So I read the Bible last year, and according to, so Old Testament, and the first, and by the way, not superseded covenant with God, the Jews were supposed to be circumcised. Yes. The Christians did their fake ass covenant with God. Right.

And guess what? They say we're circumcised in the heart now. It's a lot easier. To be circumcised in the heart? To be circumcised in the heart. No, that's really difficult. Because no one can check it, and so you don't really have to do it.

Who checks your penis? The love of your life. That's facts. That's facts. That's facts. But I'm saying it's a little bit regressive for you to be circumcised. But we'll fix that.

It's outdated medical knowledge. People, for some reason, 30 years ago, were like, you're going to get stuff under the hood. we got to take that off and then anyone thought about it for five seconds or like it's automatically on there it's fine it's built to be fine in the past and then i read i read a i read a gary steingart first person perspective uh article first what the fuck sentence about his own experiences i don't know why his first person perspective article uh but uh but uh his boss circumcision and i never cared about circumcisions before and now i find myself slowly being

like we do need to bend a little bit damn i have a friend who claims to have a botched circumcision but he never like got it tested he's just like yeah i just don't really enjoy sex i was like you gotta go to a doctor oh no or try different kinds yeah figure this out yeah what if he's like a pedophile or something what if you gotta try it all out yeah you know um but jeffrey upstein yes passed and then kind of nothing happened now a lot of stuff is happening yeah we're getting new drops um and part of the drops is that you can see every email this fucker ever had so sick and so because of that we can now read every email quora sent him which is something that we like to do every now and then now that they've unlocked three million emails yeah he has so many quora

questions in his emails and you look up a keyword and you're like oh my god there's 50 hits it's all fucking quora but the way quora works is that usually it knows like what you're looking at and then it sends you related stuff yeah so i think that we can assume that these questions are related to what he is searching for on the website yeah it showcases his interests wait the big thing i wanted to show you first though this this is what i found in here uh-huh honey uh we go okay so i got really excited when i found this this is from july 18 so this is quora telling jeffrey epstein that he has an account and it says on it that quora can view his contacts so somewhere like the quora company has the jeffrey epstein client list right i presumably so at least

his iphone fucking i don't know how good he was at putting numbers in his phone sure his emails or text yeah indication yeah but yeah i guess they would it is is that normal for them to be able to have why would they want that i don't know i don't know it's never i don't know send emails I don't know who else they have the contacts for, but I guess ostensibly in 2018, Quora has obtained Jeffrey Epstein's contact book. Quora reserves the right to go

to Leon Black's email, even though he hasn't been on there, and be like, would Batman be able to kill Jesus? How many questions would you need to have in order to fucking... I mean, signing for Quora in 2018 is tough. It's a website that has not improved over time.

How long has it been around? So it's old. It's undergone different, I think, different ownerships, but definitely different iterations. It was a popular right-wingy blog in the 2010s-ish. Jordan Peterson is a big Quora guy. Yeah, he got a start on Quora. He got a start answering questions on Quora, telling people to clean their room. That's how he made his first book. Not all of his account is just like, how many Zans can you take and still have a glass of wine?

In coma, please help. He's doing it from his brain. He's like the drill of Quora. That's how I see him. He's like the one who made it out. But the new iteration is just they're all in on AI. So they try to answer the questions and ask the questions before you can ask them. Yes.

But the interface still feels like 2008. It is very, it is ancient. Which I find nice. I do. I want to ask you this. I'm sure you've discussed this on the show before, but have you ever had a question that you've really needed to know the answer to and you've had the answer given to you by Quora in a sincere, genuine way?

Yeah. Well, it's like one of the last places where there's people. It's like Reddit and Quora. Yeah. I mean, they're insane people. What do you really want to know? It's usually a medical thing, I feel like. It's usually like, am I dying?

Oh, wow. Yeah, all the emails I get are usually yeast infection based. Dude, Claire, check this out. Did you know this? I'm about to fucking blow your mind. You can get a yeast infection as a guy. I know. And let me just tell you, I think I know someone who's been giving them to me.

Damn, that's a big name drop, Claire. Is it someone famous? Well, it's famous to me. And it's not a sexual transmitted disease. It's a sexual transmitted fungus. Let's be clear. I don't even know. I don't know what a fungus is, actually.

That's a core question right there. There you go. You can pass a fungus back and forth, I think, if you touch toes. Sure you can. Athlete's foot? Yeah, yeah, there you go. See? I think a lot of, what's that one you used to get?

A ringworm? That's a very passable fungus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was younger, every female had that shit. Mm-hmm. Shit. Roll it around on the mat. Ringworm is so crazy

Because it's just A ring looking worm It really is It really is Gollum would go crazy Over that It really doesn't It doesn't like

Hurt you or anything So you got it And you're just like It's not so bad It's itchy I'm not going to Not go outside I'm not going to

Not touch people No one tells you Not to go outside No they tell you Not to like Touch people I got I was on a wrestling team

And then everyone Would get it Because you're all like Rubbing each other That must have been difficult Don't touch people On the wrestling team? Well, no, you just didn't do it.

You would cover it with a bandage and be like, that's fine. Yeah. That's not going to get out. You still wrestle? No, I'm 34. You think you could beat me up? Could I beat you up? Yeah, probably.

Alex works out for a living. I'm a personal trainer, so just have being stronger. No, no, no. This is how this podcast is going to end. Personal trainers are often injured. That's true. You are injured. This is the red pill about athletic people.

Oh, you're in the gym every day. Oh, you're big. Your fucking shit's all fucked up. That's right. It is often, but I don't think right now it is. I think it's actually okay because I've been really lazy. I do think you guys should wrestle. What I would do is I would dodge quick and you'd like overextend or hyperextend your arm trying to punch me or something.

My bone. Yeah, exactly. I have a real social football with trying to wrestle at times I should not. So I really work on not wrestling. You're a touchy guy. Yeah. Louie. I guess that's the worst example.

Well, he did it to himself. He touched, he was mostly, but he was wrestling with the urge to jack off. You're always trying to jack other people off. Yeah. That's what it is. You're grabbing them, which is allowed, weirdly. Dude, I feel like I don't think I'd be good

at jacking another guy off. You don't think you could do it? I think I would not. It's not that different, a little bit of a wrist difference. I know, but I feel like it's like, I'm trying to think of something that's similar. It's because you're doing a push instead of a pop. No, I feel like I'd be trying to, yeah, jacking, yeah.

Yeah, I think that's the closest thing that I find analogous to it is jacking myself up. But no, like walking backwards and walking forwards. You know what I mean? Brace, this is where the reach around comes in. Damn, that's actually a really good idea. I could stand behind a guy and jack off. Again, I was on a wrestling team. Wow.

You fucked a lot of guys. That's just practice. Wow. Anyway, so Jeffrey Epstein has a lot of Quora emails. let's get to the let's get to the email okay let me read one let me read one so i've i've found i've taken out the quora's from the quora email so this is the first one this is what is it like to have lunch with a person knowing that they're a murderer this was sent to jeffrey epstein's i gotta say fantastic algorithm work yes that's right this is the person who would best answer

that question well he probably looked something up similar it was relevant for his life and what i do like about this is that people with their full name and address as a listeners to the show are very well aware will go on and be like i know a guy who did murder let me tell you about it and you can talk to him he's my brother how many murderers has epstein met with i mean probably countless right well i i think i like to think he was maybe preparing himself for like the type of people he'd meet in prison where he's like that's a good idea what do i talk to a murderer about over a ham sandwich right this is before he met with bill clinton wait if this when is this this is 10 years ago this is 10 years ago from now so this is the website now okay yeah let me

see it's 10 years ago 2016 he was not facing jail then but i'm like i wonder if he isn't there a will ferrell movie where he's like like preparing to go to prison or something i didn't see it but i'm like i wonder if it's like when he was going to jail in 2008 he's like what's it going to be like to like break bread with people who've killed it says 2016 is the original question was what is it like to have lunch with somebody you who you know has murdered and it was edited this is the best uh update to a quora question i've ever seen this guy really was like my lunch is coming up with with my friend i don't know um wait look supposedly murdered people in the docks right isn't that like a big thing that he like killed a bunch of kids or something wait this go

up this and this very long answer this is the answer by okay yeah this is tori lynn's answer tori lynn my youngest brother was convicted of second degree murder over 11 years ago he's serving a life sentence he'll tell you he's lying it's a really long we're not gonna read the whole thing because it's like 2 000 words or whatever but she says i was having lunch with my brother who i was finally getting along with the first time in our lives it's been several years since uh i've been able to see him uh he was playing me the whole time eventually he did drag me into court so i don't know she just she didn't say she doesn't try to play you they're gonna try to get you to pay for tell me who he killed yeah

i mean knowing they're a murderer well i mean did they kill the other guy at lunch no during the robbery he robs someplace so he's like yeah exactly just don't have him pick up the check you know what i mean what's up claire claire's reading i'm just i'm reading about the murder my brother is a career criminal and was the murdered man's drug dealer he went to the man's home and injected him with what the victim thought was cocaine but was actually heroin when he nodded off my brother started to steal from him during the robbery the victim woke up and my brother proceeded to strangle him he covered the body in a sheet and then turned on the oven and the heater thinking he would make the evidence corrupted and he left in the man's car

with all the loot he could fit in it. He was arrested on his way to meet me for a haircut a few days later. You're involved in the arrest. Oh, man. That's shocking. I didn't know you could inject cocaine. Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you kidding? Do you know what a bell ringer is? No. I know about it like meat factories. You take all the chickens, and it's called ringing the bell where you swing around by their necks. Is it a classic eight ball?

Yeah, I used to work at a flower shop in North Beach in San Francisco, and I was using a lot of drugs. Wait, which one? Which drugs? Which flower shop? I don't want to say the name because I've gotten in trouble for it before,

but it's across from Mario's Cigar Shop. It's like a little flower stand. I used to work at Film Yard Video, which is across the street from Washington Square Park. Oh, cool. Doesn't exist anymore. Did you do drugs? Anyway, go ahead.

But I would get cocaine from the guy who worked at this, the major dealer at a really crummy Italian restaurant nearby Who said he was in the mafia I was like Yeah But you sell me Fifteen dollar bags of cocaine And I would shoot it

In my hand Wow And then Start crying But it felt So It's crazy Because it feels

You've done cocaine obviously It feels like When you do cocaine You just kind of have to poo And you feel great Or bad Depending But when you shoot cocaine

It feels like There's a train Chugging along From one ear to the other And it goes And it sort of reaches an apex And that's the bell ringing Sort of feeling

So you like cry It's kind of like you're hearing a beautiful symphony. Yes. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's crazy. It feels very different. It's really bad. Don't ever do it.

I've never taken the ear train, but it sounds awesome. It's awesome. I know this guy on Quoro did it right before he was strangled. Well, actually, it was heroin. That was a crime. I gotta be honest, the fact that this is actually an incredible strategy to rob somebody. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

He's like, yeah, man, just take it, man. It's all good. It's a very funny, like, drug addict plan, though, to be like, yeah, I'll just turn on the oven. What the fuck is the oven? What if he's going to melt? I don't know. He must have killed himself. He turned the heat on to 90.

Someone who just learned about carbon monoxide is like, any oven kills you? It is weird that a Louisiana house has heating in it, though. Yeah, that's true. Whoa, this doesn't add up. Yeah, because I'm like, what degree does it get down to in Angola? Respond to this very sad woman and tell her the story doesn't add up. You need to look into this more.

He's innocent. He might not have done it. You need to get Benoit Blanc in there. I should do an Innocence Project style NGO for people who so obviously did it. Anybody who tells you they didn't do it, I'm like, well, we've got to look into this, I guess. Who's to say?

Oh, man. I wish he had answered any of these. He would have been a perfect person. Have either of you guys had lunch with someone who killed another person? Have I ever had lunch with a murderer? Have you actually, Claire? Yeah, but they killed someone in Afghanistan.

I was about to say, I'm immediately going to soldier. So it's murder for oil. Well, they don't have oil. It's actually heroin. It is heroin. Yeah, poor heroin. It might have been the heroin that got to this guy.

Yeah. Wow. Something to think about. All of our stories are linked. That's facts. I just look at this guy who asked this question. I have a question on Reza Mousavi. What is it like to be poor and have a billionaire best friend?

I mean... What is it like? Who is answering that? Give me a million dollars. That doesn't exist. There is one answer on this. I'm your best friend, and you won't give me a million dollars? Wait, where'd that other answer go?

That was a related question. Wait, this is kind of a poetic question. To be poor and have a billionaire friend is not likely in real life. It may happen in the movies. See, the realities of the poor man is that of a never-ending night, And for the billionaire, life is a sweet delight. Therefore, the conditions of life, and hence their mindset set, are completely different. Even the middle class person would not like to have a poor man as a friend.

So why talk about billionaires? A poor man has no friends. That is the brute reality of life. Is this a question or an answer? That is the answer. That's the answer to what is it like to be poor and have a billionaire as a best friend. And that is facts. And that is facts.

I'm going to upvote it. An undebatably true answer. I do think a really good sitcom, though, would be like Jeffrey Epstein's best friend, who is his butler or something. And they work together on the island. and they have differences because he's very poor. Yeah. And Jeffrey Epstein's like,

hey, we're going to go on the jet later with these kids. He's like, yeah, let me see if I can get some time off work to do this. He ran out of sick leave

to visit Israel with Jeffrey Epstein. He's like, I don't know. But in real life, his butler tried to betray him. Really? Oh, yeah, his butler did. He was betrayed by the butler.

It's one of the saddest stories there are. That is sad. The reason we have the black book is because the butler stole it and tried to sell it to I believe the prosecution and they were like well that's

illegal I can't do that and he was arrested and that's why you should never trust a butler I think his name was Alberto Alfredo but he also died of natural causes with a thing but he

did face legal trouble like consistently after this Wow. So sick of fake friends. Yeah, fake friend. Fake friend. That's so sad. Well, I hope he comes up again.

I don't know if there's anything else. More Butler-based questions for us. I don't know if there's any other stories worth reading about people who have had lunch with murderers. People with their real names talking about other horrible crimes. Anonymous says, I had the misfortune of needing to work directly with a murderer. He was a disgraced police officer that loaded dozens of rounds

into an unarmed black man who was in the process of fleeing. That's a real murderer. Without naming the specific case or individual, this made headlines some years back, and there's no doubt many of you heard this story. The first police officer to kill an unarmed black man. Surely you've heard. As you can imagine, he was dismissed from the police force.

He narrowly escaped a prison sentence by claiming self-defense. However, this was largely seen as a tremendous miscarriage of justice that prompted significant backlash. Skip to the lunch, buddy. Where's the lunch? I don't want to talk about murderers. I'm hungry. All these people, everyone on Quora is always like,

no, this didn't happen. And we are, no, I don't know about this. But here's a situation that's kind of similar, but actually won't help you at all. I want to know what it's like to be like, we are getting fucking Qdoba. I am sitting down, and we are getting fucking falafel. Arguing about what place to go to, and you're like, he's killed someone. Yeah, exactly. That's what I want to know.

Because I would defer. Yeah, of course. Oh, no, whatever you want, man. You're a murderer. Where do you think the most murderers are having lunch? Got to be prison. You got it wrong. Right?

It's crazy in there. The hospital. Hospital. Actually, it is probably hospital. It is probably hospital. For some reason, the food at hospital is very bad, even though hospital is very expensive. That never made any sense to me. Oh, yeah.

Pay for the food. No. Well, that's what you know. You'd be getting DoorDash in there. I was in the hospital with baby, and I was- You had a baby in hospital? I shot a baby out. Get this.

In my hip bones. But, you know, you got to have that shit in the bathtub. Yeah. I mean, well, ironically, we did, and then we had to go anyway. Did you really? Yeah, it was a whole thing. And this is what they all say. And this is what they all say.

Oh, we're going to do it at home. This was Alex. Well, we had the whole baby at home, and then the placenta didn't come out. And you're like, as an athlete, I need to eat that motherfucker. I tried. So I did try breast milk. I tried breast milk. I had the breast milk, because I thought there was human growth hormone in it.

The placenta didn't come out, and you were like, were you, like, waiting? It was all fucked up by the time it came out at the end Oh right you were in the hospital at that point Lady milk Less anabolic than cow milk Because cows are so big You sell both brother You don't have hustle mindset

You sell the placenta You sell the milk You get some fucking formula But you'll learn Next kid You gotta have another kid This time I was just working on inflating that pool. How old is the kid now?

She's one. Oh, she's got to get a job soon. No, no, no. She can't be freeloading off of you. She's not pulling in. Let me ask you this. How long were you not podcasting for? One month.

Okay, respect. My co-host is about to have a baby. She's having a baby in like three days. It's open-ended. Yes. Well, here's the thing. She's going to have takes into that period, and then she's going to need to release them at some point.

Like Jackie Chan with the jizz. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, you can't resist them, Michael. Yeah, you got to. You're going to have no place to put those takes. Exactly. It helped that I accrued no physical damage during this back and forth. But, you know, I'm sure she's going to knock it out.

It's harder for the guy. Yeah. Because to see a female in pain. Damn. That's so hard. She doesn't remember it. You don't understand. You remember it.

Well, my thing is I need my sleep. And that's facts, dude. Because you're an athlete. Yeah. what's your wife do a regular job she paints well no then that seems more difficult actually

she's like painting ceilings your wife is a house painter she's kind of like a great she's a Sistine sort of thing decorations and you know Sistine style yeah she's like a Sistine style painting

she re-examines God in our lives she's upside down she's got a little brush She's like Mission Impossible where he descends on the rope but she's doing little details. Yeah, he descends past her on the rope. You can see her in the shot. Do you lift your baby sometimes like this?

Yeah, all the time. For exercise? I have all day I spend throwing the baby around. It's all I have to do. I got so many baby theories. Because you know you can mold their head. That's true. You can make any shape you want.

It's too late now. No, you... No. It's like a toddler's head. I could bolt Jeremy's head You know cone heads? Yeah You can make one

That's true If you just don't do tummy time And you just sort of sit there like a ghost So you'd go cone You're not going like I'd go cone I'm going cone Obviously because the kid's going to be Jewish

You know you put the little yarmulke on top That's funny You could have lifted up It's almost like steam comes out or whatever It's like a volcano Yeah a cone I'm having a cone head kid I'd go flat before I go cone

Because then they're like a moving table Oh yeah there you go That's true, yeah. Probably the other way around. Put a little drink on her head. You put that laptop on. Damn. Get that head all hot.

The fan comes on. Okay, I'll go to another question here, because these people have boring answers. Here's another one. How painful is a gunshot? I expect strong Quora answers on this. Why do you think that he was looking this up? Do you think he wanted to shoot himself

before hanging himself? Maybe he just shot a guy and he felt bad. Yeah, that's fair. I probably did you know sometimes when you do something bad and you're like I wonder if someone else

has done this and can reassure me that it's not that bad gotta go online and type was this bad there's a bunch of gunshot ones

at 12 my brother was accidentally shot by a friend of the leg at point blank range by a shotgun with a buckshot round his leg was blown

nearly off incorrect grammar he was in shock immediately and unconscious he was flown blah blah blah if pain continues

to this day he is a pussy my brother's a pussy my brother's a pussy he was never the same person the drugs caused wild mood swings to function he needed painkillers I've been there the drugs ultimately became the addiction

okay well so so he had fun not to be a huge narc but isn't being like having your leg entirely blown off slightly different than getting shot it's a little you're right because if it's like a 9mm

round that's going through the leg yeah it's one bullet it's not like 20 little shards of metal and point blank range from a shotgun is insane that's that kills you in a video game yeah i watched the look at it look at this little pimp right here i know but imagine rocking up to him like fucking your max pain and just he's in the news yellow flat rim yeah oh he does he does he does have the i'll be honest right now with the hat he does look like many of the people i bought oxycontin from a 15 year old boy who got

Shot in the leg. Yeah. Because imagine he's the only guy with perks in eighth grade, so he was probably popular as fuck. He needs those. Yeah. I watched the movie We Need to Talk About Kevin recently. Have you seen that?

No. At the end of the movie, big spoiler for this movie, he does a school shooting with a bow and arrow, and the whole time I was like, I think I survived that. I could catch that. Are you fucking kidding me? A bow and arrow? A bow and arrow. I could just hit him.

He kills like 15 kids. He locks the door to the gym, and he just starts shooting like 20 kids. Is he Legolas style, though? how fast can he draw they don't show it happening but it's Ezra Miller in the movie is it like a serious yeah it's like a serious movie

didn't Ezra Miller play no he played the Flash I thought he played Hawkeye and I was like it's too on the nose the casting for that that would be outrageous but I just feel like I could if you get shot in the arm

with like a shotgun you're dead like your arm blows off yeah you're going to shock you get shot with a bow and arrow it's like you could probably but that's like assuming he's hitting everyone in the heart

yeah exactly Like, yeah, if he hits my leg with a bow with an arrow, I'm just like they show his dad, John C. Riley, at the end, like dead with two arrows in his back laying on the front lawn. Wait, it's not a comedy or anything. It's not a comedy. Was it like some studio thing that they filmed with a gun? And then afterwards, like we need to actually change it to a bow and arrow. Let's turn the temperature down on this.

A bow and arrow? Couldn't you just run at him while he's after he shot one? I agree. He's going to take the arrow, pull it out and stab you with it like Legolas. I could throw the arrow at him. Yeah, exactly. Couldn't you just use... You're being ridiculous.

You could throw the arrow at him. Let me ask you this. Was it a... Which kind of bow was it? It's one of those white ones, the compound bows, with the brown middle. It's almost a gun at that point. Or not a compound bow.

Not the ones with the little wheels. It's just like a white bow. Someone came in with a flintlock and took him out? It's not fair. A longbow? Yeah. Oh. anglo spotted i can't look at this movie you're gonna look at the i could find a picture of it

i'd like to see an australian kid try to kill everybody with a boomerang before we get mad max mad max he does that i need to see more answers on the gunshot question because this boy is not a good example i'll show you the arrow real quick this is a lynn ramsey movie she did she directed that to uh die my love movie yes she always gets things a little wrong it's based on a book i think in the book though there's like a long plot about like how good he is at shooting it how he loves lord of the ring no it's about how his mom like hates guns so he like proves a point by killing people with a crossbow i think even a crossbow is is more deadly than a take that this is just a bow and arrow oh yeah you hate guns what if i killed everyone with a bow

i'm the flash also i can run faster than light oh he's like is his thing in the movie that he's like good at bow and arrow yeah yeah he He's practicing it. He's doing a little archery as a kid. Whoa, look at the little head. Yeah, I would bully a guy like that. Yeah. I would be like, you'll never kill me with that fucking pussy.

You fucking nerd. You're bow and arrow. Good luck. Yeah, it's like, what are you going to do? You shoot me with that thing? Okay, oh no. Well, I'll never get to Mordor now. It's like, suck my dick, dude.

Lock me in the gym. Well, you could hide behind anything. yeah i think it wouldn't be that hard it has no piercing it has no piercing that's a victim shame the uh the characters from the movie i would just grab it out of the air that's what i said grabbing that one is the first thing you should do yeah i'd grab it out of the air and fucking oh yeah this is bullshit because imagine if your school shooting gets like ruined because it's wet out like the battle of cressy everyone falling in the mud that was longbow men okay that was longbowmen i think no no excuse me crossbowmen they're they're crossbow i think is is more

dangerous i think it's harder it's also an unreliable tool not smoke shop weapon yeah you think so this is kind of smoke shop weapon too but crossbow is smoke shop weapon crossbows i remember in my um driving class i had the same thing they they told you a warning story about road rage where they're like you know this priest he had road rage and he took a crossbow out of his trunk and then smoked a fool with his crossbow so that's why you have to check your there's no smoke well yeah i guess no smoke it's a metaphor it's the smoke of a new pope being chosen in a priest case i would simply when i saw the crossbow being laboriously loaded sure the priest i would probably start moving i'm gonna drive away i'm gonna hit the guy with my car honestly

what's he up to give him another half a minute well i would assume that he wasn't mad at me but he in fact saw a vampire a werewolf or something like oh he's taking care of something I'm going to hold perfectly still until you get it. Oh, thank God. There's this priest here. All right, go back to the shot question. This boy who had his leg blown off is not, like, the direct answer I was looking for. I'm looking for, like, a sidearm wound.

Okay. Watching too much television. This one's fake. Yeah, I don't care about this guy. Oh, wait, did you watch television? He's saying 38 short bullet. My last memory was the pain rotated from head to shin to hand to leg bone pain. It was not excruciating because I was in medical shock.

From there, I was in pain. So this guy's like, it's not that fucking bad. Yeah. Shock is really cool. I fell into the back of a guy playing football like 10 years ago and knocked all my teeth like out back into my head. And it like severed the nerve. It didn't hurt at all.

But everyone was looking at me and screaming. So I found out I did something. But it's interesting. It wasn't pain. What did you fall into? I fell into the back of a guy's head. He was doing a reach around. The guy was down on the ground or you tripped

and your face hit the other person's head. As I said it, I realized it sounded like a reach around. It wasn't. It was just like kind of wet out. We were playing football and I fell and he was already on the ground and I like landed on the back of his head with my mouth. Oh, pause on that first of all.

But second of all, that is- It wasn't a reach around. Ow. But not ow is what I'm saying. Did he have teeth marks in the back of his head? No, because he hit like the front. So he was like, hey, ouch, you know, a little bit. But then he wasn't hurt.

And then he looked at me and he screamed and everyone's like, ah, get out of here, he's a vampire. I was with a guy who got shot once, and he was just fine a day later. Damn. Yeah. That's pretty good. Is it just like a clean wound went right through? 5.56 bullet went through his fucking arm, and he was just like, yeah, I'm good.

Apparently Che Guevara got shot through the neck like the first day in Cuba. The first day? Yeah, like getting off the boat. His shit sucked. He was like in asthma. He was just like It must have sucked To beat Che Guevara

You have to clear that Right up It's just a bullet Going through your throat Because the entire time He was in Cuba Before they won He was like

I can't breathe dude We really need to win I need an inhaler That's crazy They fucking That's what happened To Charlie Kirk They Charlie Kirk'd him

They Charlie Kirk'd him He was fine Wow You guys don't understand What happened to Charlie Claire you weren't here For this But last night

I spent Until two in the morning Reenacting the Charlie Kirk shooting with somebody who is convinced it is not and he actually had some pretty good points but he was like it's not real like he faked his own death he's in practical effects and i reenacted it myself many times where did you do it at my studio like isn't it far away though like didn't you shoot him from like i don't know like a really far so if you really want to know a real bullet was fired it was fired into the back of a van so that the the sound would sound similar to it but

sort of fired like diagonally over charlie at a van on the street into a jail block that was inside of a van door charlie while this happened set off a series of gags basically where like he had like uh a pneumatic tube that blew air up which blew made it look like his necklace kind of blew over his shoulder his shirt does something really weird which it does do something really weird and a sort of squib explodes outside of his neck through a prosthetic this is all because he wanted to divorce his shitty wife so it could be because his fucking shitty wife he's proving a point about gang violence you know with or with could you imagine including or not including gang violence the perfect last words for that specific guy which is more of a credit to the insinuation

that is part of an elaborate illusionist gag he pulled and if he pulled that off he should have a new career doing like the most realistic effect anyone has ever seen it was crazy though because the guy did have a good point

30 on 6 will blow that fucking neck right the fuck off and it did kind of just make it go crazy do you believe him do you think

to what end maybe not real now no my whole thing is I don't believe anything okay fair enough but I believe everyone okay I don't believe ideas

I believe people and so when this that's actually I gotta remember write that down that should be over a picture of you black and white yeah he's open-minded sort of carve that into your skin i'm not gonna say i'm

convinced but i'm not convinced by anything i'm convinced by everything okay i believe it but i will say because you see a big caliber round that shit will fucking sure be like a shotgun to the leg 50 cal around to blow someone's fucking arm off you know yeah i just don't know why charlie kirk would do that i guess other than to escape but we don't know what's in his mind I was just about to say that that's, like, the one thing David Blaine hasn't done yet is get shot, but he actually has, and he caught a bullet in his teeth. Pause. Sorry. Sorry.

No, no, it's just one of the, I mean, if he had caught, like, a knife or, like, a tomahawk in his teeth, that's one thing, but we all know a bullet is B-shaped like a little penis. I'll be like, no, dude, I don't want to catch that shit. I mean, Charlie Kirk had it in his throat, so it's also a throat goat. Oh, throat goat. He is the throat goat. He is the throat goat. Sorry, Nancy. Sadly, he is the throat goat.

Long story short about this answer, he does say, let the police handle these things, so that's his takeaway from being shot. I'm going to move on to another question. Getting shot with a .22, I will say, is not that bad. I've never been shot with one, but I worked at a boxing gym where a guy had been shot in several different incidents. by 22, he was totally fine. I've been shot with airsoft pretty close, so I feel like that's pretty much the same. It's like not that

different at 22. It really stings, but you know, it's nothing to like write on Quora about. What citizenship does a child have if they're born on an international flight? So relevant. They have to imagine this has happened to Jeffrey Epstein. Exactly, yes.

He was on many international flights having sex with people. And we can assume also letting them deliver the child on the flight. Yeah. It's only a gentlemanly. They just stayed on the flight for nine months. It doesn't land. It just keeps

air refueling plane to plane. Like the Air Force One or something. This is right as we were finding out about climate change. They didn't know that was bad to constantly fly a plane. If the baby is born in international waters, the child takes the citizenship of the mother. Oh.

oh interesting this sounds made up however what if my fucking plane is like taking off from st louis we haven't quite crested the atlantic coast yet we're over let's say massachusetts but my i'm in my beautiful fucking hot ass wife is Swedish and she gives birth is my baby American or Swedish? I think it depends on the law of the host country, doesn't it?

Because I know Sweden is like I think it's like ancestral. I don't think it's about being born there. Is that true? I think so. You can't be president anyway, probably. I knew a guy who was Swedish and he was going there all the time and I'm pretty sure he was born here. European countries let you do that sometimes. I know a guy who got

Latvian citizenship. Why? I don't know. I was able to almost get Italian citizenship Because it's just the way you look. They just looked at me and they're like, my wife found her great grandpa's passport and they're like so racist over there. They're like, we need more white people. Yeah, yeah.

And then they just let me in. First they asked if you were a Mexican guy because you get that sometimes. And then they were like, you're a white guy, we need that. You got a smidge of the Latinx about you. Yeah, you think so? Yeah. Maybe.

There's a lot of Mexican Jews. Louie, who we've talked about. Claudia Scheinbaum. He's Jewish. I think he's a Mexican Jew. Yeah. Yeah, I know. That's one of ours.

We don't need another one. We don't need another one I hate to Give a thumbs up Cosby's not is he Cosby He's Joe I don't know

It could be like a fucking You know Sammy Davis Jr. Situation Converted We have Weinstein though I feel like we'd all know I feel like we would know Weinstein was Catholic

There's that video Of Candace Owens Trying to get him To blame the Jews He's just like What are you talking about It is so funny Because she was like

Trying to rehabilitate him For like a week Yeah And he was just like, what? The Jews did this to me? I do love the idea of Harvey Weinstein of all people being like, it's the Jews. It was this Hollywood Jewish conspiracy to take out Harvey Weinstein. Any other good answers on the international flight thing?

I got to imagine that this doesn't have any like clear aha moments. No, I just think it's funny to imagine him asking this. And also Jeffrey Epstein, I imagine, would want to try to create some sort of like citizenshipless child. for nefarious reasons, some sort of spell. As part of a breeding strategy. Here's a fact. Sort of like a star seed. Yeah, he was trying to create a star seed.

That's a baby on a plane. They're showing a picture of a baby. No, this answers my question. I would not trust Quora for this, but if a baby with foreign parents is born above the U.S., oh, yeah, he has an NPR. But then it says if it's born over the ocean, it depends on where the plane is from.

I want to be real. if you're flying and you are able to give birth that day yeah it's pretty impressive no that's like no

kind of a bad mom oh it's like you're like they tell you not to do that yeah like if you're nine months pregnant and you're like yep time to go from

St. Louis to Milan it's like alright well I will say that's like shaking a can of coke and getting on a plane and being like

it'll be good by the time we land your tummy hurts on planes sometimes because tummy expand tummy expand tummy go up and down it would ruin the flight

for me. Just having a baby on a flight is annoying. If I'm on the flight, I'm going to roll my eyes. If someone's giving birth next to me. Somebody shut this bitch up! Yeah. Get her out of here. If your tummy expands if your tummy expands on a plane, does your butthole and or pussy expand

as well? You never fucking checked? There's never enough room for a sort of mirror situation. No, but you check. You go to the bathroom. You should bring your own mirror. The first thing I do on that plane, I go and do a Jenny check.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. When I get on there just to make sure that nothing fucking... And does your pussy expand? Well, no. My butthole, though,

becomes, yeah, I would say, like, the size of a small hole. You can feel it pop. That's why people probably do the Mile High Club. They're fucking in those bathrooms. Because the hole's wider.

The hole is wider. It's only a logical... I did used to jack off sometimes on planes when I was younger. Wow. Because you jack off at work and stuff, too.

You guys never jacked off? I've never jacked off. At work or on a flight? You're like 17, you're on a plane, you're like, fuck. No, I don't think I have. Some flights are long. Yeah, have you jacked off on a plane? True.

Many times. Really? I just didn't want to say it on the radio until then. I don't do it anymore. I don't do it anymore. But when I was younger. I have to do it or I get mad. I jack off.

What I do is I start jacking off in the TSA line. And then when I'm going through the thang. Right. And they're like, put your hands up like this. I'd be like, one sec. Yeah, so you want them to have a picture of your cum coming out. Yeah, because you know how if you walk out, you see that they scanned your body down and there's like different heat areas? I want it to be all white around that little wiener.

You do it to prevent, otherwise you'd be doing like a 9-11 every goddamn time you go on the plane. That's true. Storming the cabin. That's like hangry for cum. You take trend? No. Fucking pussy. I just got my certification.

We're going to get on trend soon. What is trend? It's like testosterone replacement. Venezuela and street gang. Okay. I'm trying both. Have you ever? You don't want to say it on the radio, but you do.

You can look at me. I already said that I did it. We take a little? I've done a flight to India. No, you're taking a flight. No, I'm not on trend. I took a growth hormone as a kid. I could tell.

Exactly. I was going to be 5'2". He's not supposed to be big. They gave me growth hormone shots. This is real. What are you now? I'm 6 feet. 10 inches.

Are you fucking kidding me? I swear to God. Right here in New York City. We go out to lunch. He doesn't care at all. He doesn't care at all about the food. I'm like, would you like lunch? Yeah, I took growth hormone shots.

And maybe I'm probably better at whatever track and fuel that I was doing. Claire, what are you hiding in at? 5'4". Dude, I'm closer to you than I am to fucking these guys. Yeah, you're average woman height. You're 6'2"? But I cheated, though.

I have tiny parents. Hitler height. He wasn't 6'2". Hitler was not 6'2". He would have liked a guy that was. He was pretty tiny. I think I would have heard about this if Hitler was, like, really tall.

You read that book. Wait, Brace, was your mama taking a lot of flights back then? No, she was tall as fuck, though, but my dad is short. And that made me 5'10". Were you a picky eater? Did you have a year

where you just ate bagel bites or something? No, well, I... Because that can cut off some inches. They didn't... My brother is like four inches shorter than me. He had a year where he was just eating chicken nuggets bagel bites. Dude, I ate hella chicken nuggets as a kid.

Yeah, well, chicken nuggets got chicken in them, which is going to go a long way. The bagel bites are pretty much just like a wax being jammed into your body. They're so good. I've never had one. A bagel bite? Oh, man.

You haven't lived. I wonder if Epstein has any questions regarding snack food. Let's see if he's got snack food questions. I don't think there is a snack food one. I mean, I could look, but in the ones that I've taken out here, I mean, we've been recording a while.

I don't know how many of these we want to do. Wait. Did any of these excite you, Brace? Can the U.S. presidents bring personal friends on Air Force One? I don't know. They must be able to. I don't know why they wouldn't.

Well, this first guy, I'm like, I guess he was a pilot. Quora has a lot of ex-military as well, and, like, cops who are on the beat while they're writing. So I would expect someone to know something like this. That seems like bullshit. Gary Cooper. Gary Cooper, who wrote 40 Years Keeping Fish,

yes, and he does. Either the president or the guest or someone is supposed to pay airfare. No way. That's not true. What the fuck would airfare be? Where are my taxes going to? Do I have to buy my seat?

I can't imagine. Who would even tell you you can't have someone, a friend on airfare? Who do you pay airfare to? Yeah. You're supposed to pay the vice president cash. Does your check get docked? Is it just a trick that Bill Clinton said to someone once?

Oh, I can't take you. You have to pay, man. Gary Cooper, listen to me. I have 40 years of keeping fish. It's a one-intern rule. Everyone just says yes. Some people say no. One million times yes.

I don't believe so. Greg Coleman says Air Force One is not a plane. It is a designation. Oh, shut the fuck up. You know what we mean, Greg Holman. Brokey. Broker. Official broker.

Broker, sorry. He works for a realtor company. Look at this guy. He says he's a brokey. He's a professional brokey. He lives in D.C. Broke ass. Oh, he's got a profile pic?

Yeah, he's got a big photo of himself. A lot of them do. Real estate. Full name and photo. I bet he stole that suit. In the void of space, which way is up is his question. And what are the cool neighborhoods in Boise? Wow.

Really good questions. He was going through it eight or seven years ago. Everyone says yes for this one, so I assume the answer is yes. I don't know why you wouldn't be able to. We always answer yes to everything. And you're encouraged to. I have to imagine that this was Jeffrey Epstein trying to get on that airplane. The president can be so lonely sometimes.

Another good one about the president. what would happen if the vice president of the United States murdered the president of the United States assuming it was immediately obvious to everyone that the vice president was responsible this is the dumbest fucking question I've ever heard in my life the fuck do you think would happen

you'd become the president oh he pardoned himself immediately actually it is a good question because if you could do it and it says if it was immediately obvious to everyone that the vice president was responsible that doesn't necessarily mean you were caught in the act by someone with powers of arrest

right so if i get in there quick enough exactly so if i was advised if jd vance killed trump or something but he did it like in the bathroom he walked out he said i hereby pardon myself for everything and he did it he did it in federal land like he didn't do it in the state he did it in dc where he did have the power to do that for sure i kind of think you could get away with it It could work. I think that's a good idea. What do people say? People say he'd be arrested.

You couldn't do that. That's not one of the things the vice president could do. Yeah, especially they can do nothing. He's saying that murder is illegal. This guy says that he would become the new president, but then arrested. Yeah! Someone mentioned that's good. I really want you to lean on that.

That's a tough one. Do you have okay, too? I do not have okay. Oh, my God. You have yeah, but not okay. It's a cliffhanger. You have George H.W. on there. Read my lips.

Okay. But I do think that you do have to get sworn in. Someone mentions that. You need an accomplice. If you become the president and then are arrested, though, that's fine. You could be president from jail. Yeah, I think so. I guess it is an Air Bud situation.

Yeah. We're not going to know until it happens. I think someone should try it and see what happens. It's a legal loophole. If Joe Biden shot Barack Obama, Paul Ryan would become president. That can't be right. That doesn't sound right. Yeah.

It's one of the weird rules in the book. I straight up forgot who Paul Ryan is. Paul Ryan? Isn't he the one with the big pretty eyes? He was a little bit of a... With big pretty eyes. Yeah, but he was a little bit of a... Remember the picture of him working out?

Yeah, he was kind of strong. Oh, yeah, it's true. He had, like, the middle school boy haircut. The little, like, flip in the front. Dude, he was awesome. Now we got Fetterman. He has troll strength. It's a different build.

That is true. That is true. What do you think... Like, what do you think his leg... I want to see his thighs really badly. John Fetterman? You can look at any photo of him. He doesn't wear pants.

He probably looks like his neck. Dude, he probably does. He's probably got crazy moles, huh? Yeah. He's very depressed. He spends a lot of time lying down. I don't think he has big, bulging muscles. His strength is just from his raw size.

It's skeleton strength, yeah. It's the most impressive kind. He's just a freak of nature. I'm guessing, too, that there's some really troubling skin tags on his back and shit. Oh, for sure. Thumb-sized skin tags under his belly folds. His genetic makeup looks to be rife with imperfections. He's like an ogre.

Yeah. For example, his green skin. Who made him? Are there pictures of his parents out there? John Peterman's parents? Probably. What if there aren't? What would that mean?

I know his parents are rich, but I'm like, there's no way rich people look like that, right? I think it's one of those things where you look normal and your wife looks normal and then you have a kid and it gets all the weird attributes. Oh, no, this isn't right. Wow, literally. His dad does look like him.

His parents look so normal. They gave him the Jeremy pills. I was going to say, I'm like, did they give him HGH? What if I look like this one day and then I have a stroke and I love Israel? It is fucking crazy that he looks like that. It's crazy. They heard he was only going to be six feet tall. We're like, he's got to be bigger.

I don't think I could fit one of his ears in my mouth. He looks like he has a tumor on his neck. They were squishing his skull. They were trying to figure something out. Yeah, they invented a new kind of tummy time for Federman. He kind of looks like he has the table head a little bit. He looks like a former wrestler. He looks like the kind of guy that when I moved to the East Coast,

I would encounter at a gas station and wonder if I had to tip him. Just fill it up. And you don't. If you're listening, you don't. You don't have to tip them? I don't think so. I don't drive, so I don't know. In Massachusetts, you're allowed to fill up your own gas.

This is a New Jersey thing. I don't know why in New Jersey they don't trust the people to fill their own cars I think it's like a John Maynard Keynes thing he should be who is the guy in Mice and Men it's Lenny he's giving Lenny

you work in television or movies yeah but I don't read no book you don't know fucking Lenny Lenny was real you're never going to make it in this business you're never going to make it in this business Lenny runs this town

Yeah, okay. You just try telling people around there you don't know Lenny. How many pitch meetings have you had with George? Yeah, come on, man. You worked at SNL? They wouldn't let me do my Lenny sketch at SNL, and I've just been trying to forget about it. You didn't know Lorne shoots every cast member in the back of the head

when they do too much cocaine? He would actually, he probably knew, he might have known the people who own that farm. Yeah. He has a farm, Lorne. Does he? He has a farm somewhere. He's got a blueberry farm.

You know, he's in the files. Yeah, absolutely. He's got to be. He is. He is. He is? Yeah, he is. We were talking about this the other day, and I was like, I feel like he must be.

What's he doing? Is he just partying? I mean, he's the most cloud-hungry dude in human history. Yeah. So you just probably heard Jeffrey Epstein had a first and last name in money. He was like, ooh, hello. And Woody Allen's going to be there. We have a lot of mutuals.

I mean, he was probably hanging out with the comedy goats, Woody, Steven Beaker. I can introduce you to Horatio Sands. Yes. No, but he didn't do it, though. Horatio? Or Jeffrey Epstein? No, but I don't actually remember what Horatio Sands was accused of doing. Grace's face quickly checking.

I was trying to remember what he was accused of. Horatio was accused of basically grooming children who were on his forums. With Jimmy. And it's crazy because I was brought up in the Horatio Sands forum. I was also brought up in the fucking... I was saying that Alex makes fun of me for saying this, but I'm in the Horatio Sands lawsuit. What, you actually are? Yes, he's mentioned in the lawsuit.

Oh, I was doing an impression of what I thought a weird guy was saying. What were you doing? Helping him? Well, you know, I had a lot of questions. No, I made this video. He took him down. There's this show in New York where they do impressions of comedians. I did this bit like six years ago where I'm Jerry Seinfeld, but it's all pedophile jokes.

So it's a lot of like, you know, why are your girlfriend's parents the same age as you? Yeah. And apparently the girl who accused Horatio Sands saw this video and was like, that's what Horatio did to me. That would be wrong. And like went to the police. So I'm like, they went to the video. Why did she mention that though?

Couldn't she just say Horatio did this to me? It's Jeremy's mention. Chocolate Rain is mentioned. All kinds of YouTube hits that she watched. Yeah. It links to my YouTube in the New York State court documents. That's awesome. That's awesome.

It's very funny to me. That's awesome. I hope they link to this one someday. I'm sure they will. I was watching all of Unforgivable, and I realized that was Unforgivable, what's happened to me. But we will be having Horatio on the show.

Well, I mean, you know. Did he lose the lawsuit? No, he won. It's Jimmy money. Beat the charges. There's all these allegations that Jimmy... Because Jimmy need drinky. Jimmy need drinky.

And Jimmy says, Horatio, I'm not going down with you, brother. It's so nuts, though. Allegations of Jimmy apparently being in New York City nightclubs with these girls and like all the cast of SNL and being like,

so how's like SATs going? Like what college you want to go to? Yeah. You're so smart. I know you'll get in. At the 3 a.m. SNL after party where you have to pay

for your own drinks? Yeah, apparently. They're like, hey, like, did your parents give you money to buy a hot tub? You don't think Horatio

bought her a drink? Hell no, dude. You made her pay? He had an effortless grace about him. Anyway, sorry, Claire, if you want to work there again. Just pro tip,

next time Sarah invites you to one of those parties, all you got to do is just not... You leave before you pay. I'm going to be honest with you. That's all you got to do. I went one time

and it was a holocaust situation. Never again. Never again. You don't want to hang out with writers. $1,000,000 for some french fries. But I'm...

No, the reality is I'm too tired. They're late dinners. It's so late. It's so late. Well, you're up at 2 a.m. reenacting the Charlie Kirk shooting. I know,

but that's important. Last night, so we took the guy like the reenactor to a bar and these girls got really mad at us because we were both

wearing the freedom shirt and these girls got mad at us for wearing it and I was like you don't even fucking know what this is about

and I tried to explain to them like what we were doing and they got madder and madder at us but I'm like how are you getting more mad at me

I'm not saying anything about his politics which I'm not familiar with I can't imagine I can't imagine approaching someone at a bar for having a

Charlie Kirk shirt they approached us and then they got mad at us yeah And I was like, well, you approached me. Were you covered in fake blood? No, it was a dry test. We didn't do wet tests.

We're going to do wet tests later in the summer. Okay. But not a live bullet. We are going to have bullets. Yeah? Yeah, but not in the neck. When it's warmer out, you're going to do it. Well, that was the Trevor Moore thing.

No, Claire, we have to do it in a field. Right, right, right, right, right. Are you going to try to memorize his speech? Are you going to be Charlie Kirk? No, I'm not going to be Charlie Kirk. I have ideas for that. Okay. But I do know some of the speech, but I don't know by heart.

Okay. I mean, whoever is Charlie Kirk will have to. Do you know how many transgender shooters there's been in the U.S. this year? And then Charlie does, that's what the interlock shooter says. Charlie does the goat answer for when you don't know something. He says, too many. And then he drops the mic. Boom.

And then the guy says, I can't remember, something about mass shootings in general. And then he says, counting or not counting gang violence. And then the rest is history. Perfect responses. Counting or not counting gang violence. And then your head is blown off. That's the thing It wasn't

Gang violence You're trying to be sexy Oh yeah Maybe you could do Like a porn parody of it You think that You think that You read the text

That he sent Candace No Oh Something about like Didn't someone hate him Or something Or he hated someone Anybody on this show

LGBTQ plus Claire's the one Claire's poly That's way That's I'm technically Bisexual Yeah she's bisexual

So it's okay So we all have the past So it's okay i'll say this when i saw that he was talking about nikki minaj in such detail oh sure i was like i was really trying to because i'm really open-minded right and i'm trying i i don't know if i'm number one i'm like i'm keeping my mind open on that because there's more practice practice but i was like if a dude i know sent me text messages like being like i love the new nikki like and then sending me the lyrics and emojis connected to that yeah i'd be like you're gay sure will not

Lil Nas X. Yeah. What? Lil Nas X. Wasn't he... Lil Nas X. He had a Nicky Stan account before being famous. That's what I'm saying.

I'm like, it's not normal. He's one of the gayest musicians there is. I mean, I'm not saying that being gay isn't normal. He's kind of. But it's not. How do I get myself out of this? But it's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, no, no, that's not. No, but I'm like, it's crazy.

Like, it's like Charlie Kirk. Sure. Yeah, yeah. He's... Well, he's a very right-wing individual. A Christian nationalist or whatever he is. That's how it always goes. And that's why Israel killed him.

Because they were like, we can't have a guy. It was an act of homophobic violence. Yeah. Stop the homophobic violence. Because they knew that he would have been one of those LGBTQ for Gaza. Right, right. You know what I'm saying? It would have changed the war.

Yeah, it would have changed the war. Charlie's come out against the war. They noticed that he had just joined DSA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was wearing a mask. Full Iron Man getup. He's so awesome, man.

I loved Charlie. If only he got to live to see Fetterman. Yeah, they didn't get to live in the same timeline. Charlie and Fetterman. In my head, Charlie Kirk did die like 15 years ago. It feels so long ago. It's been like five months. It's been five months.

His wife is like still fine as fuck. Erica Kirk? Hell yeah. You could probably have sex with Erica Kirk. She's in shock. Genuinely, you probably could. Do you think me or anybody? Yeah, I think you could.

I mean, you have a fan base. You could go interview her or something. I'd be like, yo, the best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody, Erica. That's right. And I'm saying this. I will have sex with you for free. I don't know what you're paying J.D. Vance. No, she's probably started crying or something.

Widows love to hear that, too. You don't know. That's why we don't fuck widows, right? that's the man pact if your husband died you're done we're not gonna hit it for those of us keeping score i have masturbated on a plane i have never had sex with a widow no because it's scary it's scary because you don't know if they did it no oh yeah especially in this case i feel like like a black widow exactly because you're already halfway there it's a black widow and also i'm just like but what if you're like cursed or something you know what i'm saying like because

Sometimes women get cursed. The ghost is trapped in there. Yeah, or he sees. How do I not know? Oh, he sees. The husband is seeing. And I don't want someone from heaven watching, because what if he tells God that I'm fucking him?

I don't think that's a problem with Charlie Kirk. I don't think he's watching from heaven. You think he's watching from hell? Yeah, he's looking up. Jacking off. Good. He's jacking off on the plane from one part of hell to the other. Yes.

Sin, sin, sin. Yes, Chris. Pretend to hold your nose and you're going to do a dive right before you go eat a pussy. That's a good way to do it. That's a good method. You do this. I don't want to get water up my nose.

Brace, put on goggles. I do wear goggles. Prescription? You have a little tube? Prescription? No, because I find those uncomfortable to breathe with. I have a camelback in case I get thirsty. And I have some ginger beer in case my blood sugar gets low.

Nice. Everyone should have that. Yeah. What other questions do we have? I'm making you guys go long. I'm sorry. No, you're good. We don't have to do all these questions, also.

We're going to do, like, one more of these. Would you like to do one more, and then maybe a listener question and get out of here? Okay, great. I just have one question. Is there a way to find out if Chris Kattan is in the Epstein emails? Yes. Oh, my God. I love Chris Kattan.

Do you not? I love Chris, too. And I feel like he might be in there. Are we talking about Chris? Not in a way we think. No, wait. No, but who is Pauly? Pauly could be in there.

Claire's Pauly. Sure. yeah maybe that's why he's Pauly Shore different kind of Pauly I will say this about Pauly

Pauly Shore I will say this about Pauly Shore I heard that he used to just oh I heard this from someone he did this too

he would just go and like ask people if they wanted to fuck like he'd ask girls in like clothing stores I think he'd still be doing that do you think

anyone's ever like alpha mindset yeah fuck it I'll fuck Pauly Shore it has to have worked once he's been famous for like 40 years. He's definitely

fucked once. But Claire, a little SNL secret. Why haven't they brought back Chris and Mango? I loved Mango as a kid. Because he talks shit about Lorne

and his memoir, I think. You want two T's on the Catan. Yeah. He doesn't know shit. I'm too young. Well, you were being

and you will never. And here he is. Oh my God. This might not be anything. This might just be let's not jump to conclusions. What is this? It is a crazy-ass long email.

This is about a film. Why can't I have searched this? Chris Kattan happens to be in as a talented actor. It is a 50-page email, maybe? Wait a second, is this a film or a... Now we're talking about just hunger? This must be like a PDF or something that was sent to them. PDF file?

Yeah. That's what we'd be calling guys like XT on TikTok. That's exactly right. Oh, Matt Taibbi? They unalived this PDF file. Yeah, this grapist. J.D. Vance in an attempt to connect with the youth vote

J.D. Vance should start talking about that we need to unalive the leader of Iran yeah yeah we need to commit sewer slide that sucks that's like one of the worst things that's come out of children today sewer slide's the best one

it's not children it's like 33 year olds doing this I know And that's the whole thing is I do think of short-form video, like front-facing POV, whatever shit, as something for like 18-year-olds. It is people my age and oftentimes older doing that. Everyone loves having phone. It's crazy. And it's so nonsensical, too, because children love the slide.

Think about that. The sewer slide. They do love the slide. They're always thinking about it. Yeah, the sewer slide sounds really awesome. It sounds fast. Let's read this question. Okay.

Would the Israeli army still be able to defend themselves if the combined Arab armies invaded them again? So the Arab armies combined, they're like a super group. Uh-huh. They did do that before. They did. They didn't do it very well. I think it's an execution issue. This was sent to Jeffrey Epstein's email.

When was this sent? It must have been like nine or ten years ago. Oh, yeah, nine years. I couldn't see the nine years. That's the answer, though. I mean, it might have been older. He's like trying to talk to fucking Ehud Barak about this. I just want to feel like I have a background on it, so I'm on Quora.

The guy who asked this apparently works at the Singapore Armed Forces. Yeah, but what the fuck is the Singapore Army going to do? It's better to have a plan. You are a fucking city state. Aren't you the police? You just want to know what you would feel if it did happen. Singapore should only be able to declare war on Luxembourg, the Vatican, Andorra. Washington, D.C.

D.C.? That's an exception. Yeah. City of London? My cat really wants to read this question. Only one Arab country has the ability to defeat Israel, and that is Egypt. That's not true. Interesting.

Let them cook. I do not think the Egyptian army is very good. The other Arab countries can complicate defense strategy for Israel, but only Egypt has the military capacity to defeat Israel. Without Egypt, there can be no Arab-Israel war. Further afield is Iran, which, like Egypt, has a significant military capability. Iran is, however, not Arab. And the Sunni Arab countries which surround Israel hate Shia Iran almost as much as Israel. Is Iran not Arab?

No, they're Persian. Is it? That's a different thing? Yep. I'm here to learn, and I'm here to love. No, no, no. It's different. It's a different thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This podcast is about me learning who's Arab. I mean, if you want to get my real view, if you want to get my real view on all the races, I think there's either significantly more or significantly less than people think. That's the Joe Biden answer for the number of genders. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But but this is also not true about Iran. He gets into important matters to consider. Modern arms are expensive.

It's facts. American oil renaissance has cut oil prices in half. That means the revenue of oil is true also. Russians have lost a lot of money arming the Arabs have nothing to show for it that's also true so there's a lot of important facts

the Sunni Arab Arabs have a problem while they hate Jews Israel's a bulwark against the spread of Shia influence that's also well the Gulf we see that now

I feel like this isn't answering the question though the answer is the question is what if they all combine not why won't they the question is exactly

it's like if we had like 50 guys against these guys would they win and I think that they maybe could because my view is this

on all matters of warfare any kind of competition If you have more guys, like by a lot, you're probably going to win. Yeah, like the other kind of question on Quora is always like, could you fight like 10 gorillas or something? I couldn't fight one gorilla. The gorilla's winning every time. He's fighting in a manner I would not be able to comprehend. Or sometimes they'll do like, can 10 gorillas or 50 guys fight one gorilla?

Easy. You think so? Yeah, all of them get on him. Yeah. I don't think so, though, because the gorilla's strength makes one person essentially useless. Like I don't think you'd be able to get any hits on them Unless you got like their eyeballs 50 guys

What kind of coordination would you need To hurt a gorilla I'd be like 4 of us have to die And so we need to like 4 of you To just launch yourselves on the gorilla And then we all launch ourselves after you And we weigh the gorilla down Now if the gorilla had a bow and arrow

How big are we talking with guys Are we like talking brace size guys or are we talking Jeremy-sized guys? You have a good assortment. You have all kinds of different guys. That is a good idea. Yeah, it's true, because I think that 50 guys

are completely identical to me and I don't even get to lose. Well, it is a coordination issue, too, because ants can kill a lot of things. I would convince the gorilla to kill itself. Okay, that's good. I think you'll never be able to talk. That's smart.

No matter how much fucking cocoa bullshit that you learn, we don't care. He was a freak to us. We had him on display. We made him talk about fucking the environment. That was fake, by the way. He killed that kitten.

Yeah, I don't know what he's saying. He killed a kitten? I mean, this is a conspiracy theory. I don't think he killed that kitten. I know you're an open-minded person, but Coco had a lot of kittens, like eight or nine. He unalive? Yeah, he unalive. See, Claire, if you knew more about Lenny, you'd see the crazy historical parallels between Coco and Lenny here.

It's a beautiful literary analogy. Coco's crazy because Coco's a Lenny to us. right but he's a george to gorillas yes that's true and coco has probably executed many dumber gorillas he's jaded coco lennie coco must kill coco coco sorry coco hurt coco unalive i'm glad coco didn't live to know the the tiktok words yeah i would have loved to fucking strap coco neuralink no that's a thing elon has my dream job dude make the monkeys fucking have like just you just gotta watch instagram reels i listen i'll watch a lot of instagram reels sure i know a lot about decolonizing polyamory i know a lot about is instagram better than tiktok because

i feel like instagram is kind of like tiktok plus five months or whatever uh to me instagram has a lot of people who are more mentally ill that i can find easier actually i don't have to find it now it just shows right right right tiktok i never got tiktok still shows me women which i do not want to see right if i look at tiktok you're lying it's like eventually you want to see hot girls i do not i do not crazy women we have the numbers everyone wants this you're gonna like it eventually i want to see really not well polyamorous people i want to see i want to see furries doing things that are non-sexual or tragic i want to see uh i want to see obviously human freaks i want to see people literal freaks sometimes i want to see people with two heads

etc do you get star seeds on instagram oh yeah i get every i get everything that's any kind of mental illness based lifestyle i am given we do a lot of star seeds coverage yeah we've been watching this woman asuka have you come across her she's like akira whatever it is she's like a german star seed lady we fuck with her yeah she does a lot of like jeffrey epstein was an alien and stuff like that. She wears Jigglypuff hats. She said that he was what's his name?

Andrew Jackson. Andrew Jackson reincarnated and he fought back to finish the job. Have you not seen this? Oh, you gotta look at this. Because it did too much evil, they got rid of that class

so you can no longer class as Andrew Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein anymore. You can't reincarnate as Jeffrey Epstein anymore. Oh my God. They look the same. Check that out.

Explain that. Jeffrey Epstein's on the $20 bill. This is a man I saw in Israel Oh my god It was Two-Face but half of it was Andrew Jackson Green Dude that picture of Michael Jackson

Go to the left What a horrible stance Jeffrey's making there A lot of our faves may be Implicated Michael no You don't know who you're dealing with Michael the painting behind them

It's all insane Jesus Christ This is my painting Back shots on the beach Was anyone ever around Michael When he was acting like that Which was like What are you doing?

Why are you talking like that man? You used to be so cool I think everyone around Michael Is just like In awe of how cool he is Yeah You're doing everything good He knows that you can do

The smooth criminal move And you're like God I can't talk to you Yeah You can just get so low If you wanted to Yeah He was a little bit of a matrix

the touch of the matrix forward all the way forward check out michael jackson really interesting guy really coming out y'all gotta look up michael jackson all right let's do a listener question okay okay okay well real quick okay is that okay i'm just gonna i'm just gonna click one of these this is is that okay our listener questions you can write in with a chorus style question and we will answer it on the podcast try to keep it under 30 seconds to Quarators at gmail.com and we're live!

Hey, Quarators. If I was going to be run over by an armored vehicle, would it be better to be run over by a tracked vehicle or a wheeled vehicle? I would just want to be killed all the way, so tracked probably. Yeah. No? Wheeled.

Tracked would be slower, I think. Yes, yes. No, you're a player. Tracked is painful. You're completely right. You might live if you get hit by a wheel. No, you're not going to live if you get hit by a wheeled armored vehicle. Well, yeah. People get hit by trains, live all the time, and they're like fucked up. Yeah, exactly.

Dude, I knew a chick. No. That's so bad. Three limbs gone. Three limbs gone. Did she live? She's made herself. Yeah, she did.

She made herself. She made it work. But how did she keep? I think a leg. Nice. That was the hardest project one runway challenge to make work. but i would say tracked you're like because they can go like the top speed of these motherfuckers is not high oh but it's still so thorough and squishing all my organs out of my mouth like a

little bug but what if it just would have to squish my head first yes you can't go legs first you're totally like that guy in uh in austin powers where he ran over really really slow that would be a nightmare to be run over real slow the thing is armored vehicles are so heavy no matter what that I don't think that you're really making it out of there. Right.

Okay. Well, maybe wheels are better than I guess maybe an armored car or like a whatever like a carrier warthog.

No, no, but no, I'm thinking about like a fucking like a bank one. You know, they get the money that one. I feel like I could survive.

Yeah, sure. Easy. That's an afternoon. Yeah, there's no bread in that motherfucker. Seems like a fun fun time either way. Yeah.

No hose. That's what I'm saying to the truck after it hits me. Why? I don't want to make it feel bad. I'm in shock. I'm lashing out.

Okay, well, that should answer the question, I think. Yeah, I hope so. Pretty resolutely good. And that's done. So that's the show. Ray, thank you for coming on Quarantinators. Thank you for having me. Jeffrey Epstein has many emails,

and it's been a pleasure to answer as many as we could with you here. I'm sorry if I distracted us. No, it happens every fucking time anyway. How much can we read about Israel being invaded before we go insane? Not much before I start to cry. Where can our listeners find you and your works at home and abroad?

Truenon. Truenon podcast. Just look it up. Yeah, Google it. Read a book for once. Yeah. Look up race. Yeah, yeah, go to Truenon.

You're going to love it. On the internet. It's all over the internet. It's on the internet. Cool. If you want more of our podcast, we have a Patreon with new episodes on Thursday. is where we go on Instagram

and we look at starseeds. So that's what we're doing over there. Be sure to check that out. We'd love for you to do that. How about that? And that's it for the show. So another one done. Good job, everyone.

Question everything. Bye-bye. Goodbye. Recording stopped. Where were you? Cut it. Print it. Amazing. How many questions did we get to?

Like five? Four. Something like that. There was a point like 45 minutes in where I was like, we've done two. That's all you really need. Try to jam a few in the end there.