Quorators - Lies Exposed! w/ Claire Parker

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What percentage of an 80-year-old can do 40 push-ups in a row? I know that most people here enjoy swimming without underwear. But I'm the opposite. What do you think of this? Can you be both strong and kind? --- Check out Claire's show Celebrity Memoir Book Club Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

Union Hall, what the fuck is up? I heard y'all like going on the internet and clicking links. Yeah. Let's do that for roughly 60 to 70 minutes. I was trying to promote the show yesterday and I kept seeing things that were like, do not go outside. The government kept being like, don't go to Quarriors. And it made me into Cuomo immediately.

I was like, we need water bottles at Union Hall. There's not going to be turnout. We need all 75-year-olds at the show. I was about to say, our audience is mostly people in their sunset years. So this is a bit of a disappointment. We got the Bill Clinton endorsement for Quarators today. I just think it's funny. We're Epstein approved.

Oh, Lord. I love this intimate setting. You ever click on a video of like Elliot Smith from 1995 and you're like, that's right, sometimes there's like 10 people there. that's how good he was but everyone in this audience will start a podcast I was going to say like Ellie Smith

we're going to stab ourselves in the heart that's right by the end of this show under your seat is a knife so you know we're supposed to have a guest that's true I don't know what's up with that it's sort of TBD if she shows up

It is a nice... We did backstage today. It's a nice day. Why would anyone want to be a guest on a podcast today? So it's really understandable. Yeah. Yeah. She could be at the beach.

I actually do want to give it up for the guest of this podcast right now. It's Elijah, everyone. Put it together. We put the chair out. We got a glass of wine. I don't know the other things you do for him, but I love the concept. Most of it is he's on a podcast, yeah. That's most of Passover tradition.

Who are your guys, Elijah? And you just wait and guess what they were? You have to put a Squarespace ad on all the doors to market. Or they kill your son. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Okay. Is that how it went?

That's how it is. Damn. I wish all podcast hosts were like Elijah. Quiet. Uh-oh. I'm fine. Uh-oh. You're going to be two-man down.

You're going to be doing double-zone defense on the podcast. I feel like I don't know how to start that we don't have a guest. I feel like we're lost in the intro. I know how to start. That's why I do it every show. Are you all familiar with Quora.com? We're going to go on there and click all the stuff. Great, there you go.

You heard about it. This week's theme is, is it World of Lies? Lies Exposed. Lies Exposed. Now, a peek behind the curtain here. We've had a lot of episodes themed around lies. And that's because that's what's on the website. It matches up 80% of the time.

What's our Space of the Week this week, Jeremy? All right, let me see. Wait, press the button. Oh, yeah, press that button. Okay. We're all fucked up. It's too hot outside. Wrong button.

Space of the Week button. Oh, right. Come on, man. Can I be real with you? I didn't know what button you were talking about, and I was like, I just hope it's a funny one. Okay, here we go. There you go.

Space of the Week. Oh. For anyone who's new to this show, we go on the website Quora, and there's all sorts of spaces on it that are akin to subreddits, and this one is The Human Psyche and Emotions.

That's a lot of stuff. Understanding how we think, feel, and experience the world. Whoa. 13.2K followers. Pretty good size space. A lot of emotions in this space. Oh, look at this one.

Mind hacks. We are not looking at mind hacks. It's too risky. Okay, so more narcissism coming our way. Did you want me to look at a specific question, Alex? Yeah, we have a few pulled up here. The human psyche can be home to many emotions. Okay, here's a question on this.

I tend to stay away from places like Whole Foods, Target, or Wegmans where people tend to smile too much. Is there something wrong with me? Wait, I can't believe they didn't say Trader Joe's where they smile the most. Yeah, they're kind of like forced to, right? They like going there, I guess. Yeah. I have not found that a lot of people are smiling at Whole Foods.

Am I doing something wrong? What are you buying at Whole Foods that people are not smiling at you. I'm hanging out in the Samples aisle. I'm going crazy. I'm seeing if anybody drops stuff, and I say, I don't have to buy it if they drop it. I don't have to buy it if they drop it.

I went to a restaurant with Alex recently, and he said to the server, they're like, what do you want? Alex said, I'm just going to go crazy on apps. And the guy was like, what? Talk normal. And then you said it like, I'm going to go crazy on apps.

I wanted him to big up me on it. And then you had to say the apps anyway, so it wasn't like you didn't need to tell him you were gonna go crazy. I'm gonna clap at you right now and I just need you to anticipate that.

I needed reinforcement about the apps. Buffalo sauce. A second thing. Nachos, I believe was the other one. You're just eating sauce? Yeah.

That's mostly what apps are. You crazy. Oh, brother. There are only hidden answers on this one but I think it's interesting this is a human psyche and emotions question

this is more like shoppers anxiety oh wait okay wait I'm looking at the crowd right now and I'm seeing actually a very special

appearance all of a sudden we actually are guested by our special guest Claire Parker everybody the celebrity memoir podcast

Claire Parker sorry Elijah you're out time sensitive I did not know this was a live pod I'll be honest I thought it was a stand-up show.

No, it's not. Oh, sorry. And I was like, I'm a few minutes, but my phone's been dead since noon. I've been phoneless. I had to get here from Union Square using the help of strangers. Has anyone here ever had to now?

I had to get here by going, I have to walk east now. Do you know where east is? I walked east from the N train. I used the sun. I said, Claire, it'll be fine. When has a comedy show ever started on time? And what are you, first?

I didn't know. I didn't know we were all first and last. That was my mistake. Do you have any material you want to do? Yeah, did you have a set ready? I actually, I'm working on an hour right now for Edinburgh. Great. Oh, great.

Then we can just do that. That's the length of the show. No, but I only have 15 minutes, so I was hoping to use like 10 minutes today to write 10 new minutes and then use all of July to come up with another 35 minutes. You know what, though, is I've seen Jim Gaffigan do this. Just slip it into the podcast.

Yeah, that's fine. Just wait till we bring up, like, the mall. And then we're like, that's interesting. Go into your big mall chunk. Do you guys have any, like, entry ways that I can start talking about just myself? Yeah. Claire Parker's Wegmans. You ever been to Wegmans?

You ever been to... You ever smugged... You got any good Wegmans material? You know, I did go to a Wegmans for the first time in my life. What'd you think? I was underwhelmed, unfortunately. I went Thanksgiving weekend. I don't know that that's a good time to ever judge any grocery store.

No. And then I had to take an Uber home, and I'm not getting the full suburban experience, I don't think. That's gnarly. Never judge a Wegmans on Thanksgiving weekend. Do you guys care about getting smiled at? Oh, I know you don't like to be perceived.

That's right. But backstage, Jeremy was complaining about how people in his neighborhood recognize him and are nice to him. Right. Recognize me as a guy around town, not as, like, the podcast guy. No, no, no.

To be clear. I think we all assumed that. Yeah, okay, good. Thank God They're smiling at Jeremy Like he lives in a damn Wegmans Yeah I don't like when I pretend

To think about what I want to get As if I'm getting something new And they're like Why are you pretending? It's like Let me be You know I have to This isn't relatable

I have the disease I have the disease of like If I'm somewhere That has stuff to buy I feel bad if I don't buy anything So I have to buy something Even if I don't need it Or want it

What is that? What's that psyche? No, that's a... I get that. Is that a chick thing? That's a gendered thing. Yeah, that's gendered. I was going to guess it was like Santa Claus coded.

What? You're so used to this. Do you think Santa Claus buys stuff? He famously gives things away. He gets... Well, you have a sub-dom relationship with Santa where he gives you things and you are waiting to take them from him.

And so you paternalize the store as a Santa and you wait to get things. This is sexual for you? It is sexual. Can I step in, actually? I know I was late and I know I'm coming off hot, but I don't think you understand

how buying things works. No, no, that's it. I agree. It's so different than getting a gift from Santa. Or a sub-dom relationship. It's sexual and Santa is dom. I stand by it the first time. Are there any answers on this

that weren't hidden by the computer for some reason? We have to go on to Barrett question. Let's see. What's the theme of this question? grocery store? Oh, yeah. Yeah, this question is grocery store.

I think the theme was lies exposed. Is that right? But this is in the human psyche and emotions sub-chore. I actually think there's nowhere better

to explore the human psyche than a grocery store because they're set up to trap you. Yeah, that's right. Like an Ikea is like a mousetrap for the human brain.

Yeah. At Trader Joe's, I think they just keep moving all the stuff around so you walk past their stupid snacks and you're like, I guess I'll buy that.

Are they on purpose so crowded Is that true? I think so. They huddle you like a rat in a cage. I like that you can get in line and grocery shop as you go. I think that's how everything should be set up. I like that, too.

I think you should be waiting for the cashier while you're getting eggs because it's efficient. You're going to wait later anyway. Why not wait while you're perusing? I get in a line with an empty cart. Yes. You should invent the all-line grocery store. You walk in and you're in line, and then it's just everything is on the way. That's a really good idea.

And it's one rectangle that's like 10 blocks. Bad. It's a bad idea. You're encouraging conflict. That's a really cool idea. I don't know. The top comment here is maybe people find you attractive. That's what it is.

I'm too hot for grocery stores. They find you attractive or they think you're a baby. Oh, that's true. Babies get a lot of smiles. Maybe even more than Scarlett Johansson or something. Are there parents here? No, right? That's crazy.

Alex has a baby. I have a baby. But you're at work. I'm at work and I keep working at work. You're providing for the baby. That's true. Is there anyone here who's supposed to be with a child right now, but at 5 p.m. on a Sunday they're hanging out?

No. Oh, not one. It's actually a great use of time, so. Does it freak you out when people smile at your baby? No, I'm like, there, see what I got. I got a great one of these. I never know if I'm interrupting or if I'm like an interloper. You know what I mean?

You know when you smile and they smile back and I'm like, am I crossing a line? I think for a baby it's just acknowledgement of like this child is alive you have a living child yeah great job with your

not dead child they're always trying to die I don't know babies are trying to die every second of every day they're like Elliot Smith she's choking we were talking about

Elliot Smith earlier by the way don't worry about it it's not going to come up again I was going to say his music but I was like I get it you get it you get the ref

let's do another question here Yeah, everyone's pissed off there. Okay, here's number two. If nobody ever cares, why do we blame those who cannot handle it? Why do we call them evil? Wait, about what? That's not part of the question.

That's people who don't care. We don't have that information. Who's the... Okay. The question. Am I crazy? That feels like a hard question to answer, right? Why do we call them evil?

You know what happened to me, though, that just is like this? What? Yesterday I was on a softball team, and we had we had a girl there for the first time who kept being like

I don't even care I don't even care and we were out in the outfield together and the whole time she kept being like I don't even know what's going on

I don't care and so then we needed to sub in and I said well you could sub out and then she got so fucking pouty and I was like

but you've made a stink about not giving a shit and now suddenly you're mad you have to sit out and that's her you think she's evil she's evil

she didn't care but then I guess I'm blaming her yeah okay so I have an answer because sometimes apathy is like the side of the devil

do you know what I mean apathy is just as bad if you're not standing for something you're standing for nothing you're standing for nothing you'll fall for anything as well apathy is the side of the devil

something like that I like this answer criminals are evil and wish to take by all means apathy yeah the people who say they don't care

the most are the ones who care the most Did that make sense? The people who say they don't care a lot. This is the person who asked the question, Sharmaria. Oh, no. The Abbey is a crying fox.

Are they crying? It's a fursona. It's an anthropomorphic yet heartbroken fox. And it's when she thinks about her puppy. About my puppy. So she cares. These are all great questions. Wait, this is good.

What is this? If your name is Savannah and you have neon pink hair with braids, could you send a direct message to my profile? Do you remember me deep down in your heart? I don't think you guys should be laughing at that. Mr. Savannah with pink hair. No answers yet. Well, yeah, it would be a DM.

I like this one. Like, it could be a DM, right? People would answer on Quora. Read it, Claire. After years of denial of responsibility, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot run from this forever. If I manage to find a way to behave, is there truly a chance

that I could feel alive wow well there are nine answers on that do you want me to read them yeah I also like this

many doctors were not able to diagnose me with the DSM-5 yet they agreed that I have something with your knowledge what do you think it is

by the way free the DSM-5 stupid going to Quora I'd be like doctors could not figure me out But I trust you.

You're up. And we figured it out. This person says you have feline calisovirus. Calisovirus. So you're a cat. Not being a doctor, not knowing anything about you other than your questions, I would diagnose you with self-absorption.

Oh, shut up. Wow. You can't say that. Take it seriously. We don't think that's a little bit. That's wrong. They have a serious cat disease. Shut up.

For audio listeners, many of which are not in this room. Yeah, Jeremy's kind of owning the question asker there. He's kind of going beast mode in a way that makes everyone want to look at him on the street. I'm deeply afraid of Jesus. Why can't he see I'm not worth it?

Why wouldn't he let me die? Oh, that's sad. It got sad. All right, we're moving on. Yeah, Jesus is worthless, TBH. Shout out Jesus. Shout out the lamb. What's the best thing females love in a man? I'm just on the space now.

There's not really anything. And this is the human psyche. That's okay. This is human psyche. Do you want to go on to regular questions? Yeah, I'm ready for lies. Okay. This has been too honest and emotional

to start for a live show in a way. It's leaving me very vulnerable. I do really like this one last question. How is being in the zone any different than being in a flow state? I think that's a good question. It's the same. I agree.

Okay, let's do Quora MD. yes hit that button I don't know these questions are all a mystery to me I don't remember

what they are it's Quora MD won't you find the lies that you have in your lymph nodes how many girls

are still using a urinal Claire do you have a do you have a hard out okay great I don't even

have a hard in so I just want to make sure Anything in your stand-up on this? Oh yeah, is this part of your bits? Using the urinal? I feel like I also have a question about what's wrong with me

But I won't give you any clues Maybe at the end of the show you guys can diagnose me I will say I'm not unique I bet it would be in the DSM-5 Maybe even the first DSM I have something very original To mental illness

You know what the original mental illness is Have y'all ever tried using a urinal? No It's a rush I have to be honest Peeing all over myself in a public place Is not something I'd even want to experiment That's what I would imagine would happen

When have I ever been in a bar And been like now's a good time To see if there's Flashback or whatever It is all about the splash That's some Santa Claus shit I like this account that answered

who is an aspiring nudist hey get there okay I believe in you there's a photo here we'll see what it says she says

as a girl from India we do have girls urinals in schools that's cool these urinals are designed with a foot rest and a drainage system where the urine passes through

I need a picture I need a full picture this is what it looks like what is this um it looks like it's like a dog's ears a toilet

with a seat on it That looks like a sink. I think if you stand up in it, it's like peeing in the shower, but... No, no, no, you have to crouch. Where do the feet go? I think right here. On the sides.

Go down, though, to the next photo. Zoom? I think you're going... Zoom? I think your feet are going right here. Your feet are going right there. It's like when guys fix your car and you drive on top of this.

You know what I mean? And then someone rolls. And then it pees. Yeah, then they pee. Does it feel narrow to you? It's a bit much. It feels like Ukatasana chair pose.

Do you know what I mean? It's a Ukatasana chair pose. I don't know how you're supposed to look at anyone's cock in this kind of urinal. It's the main feature of urine. I think maybe you could put your back against the wall

and hope that you don't blast ass because then everyone will know. I usually do try not to blast ass at the urinal. Just as a rule. But Alex is one of those guys who goes pants down all the way like a five-year-old.

You're seeing his whole butt at the urinal. If I have to run, What? If I have to run, I can jump out of them. Oh. Think about it. Hello, Think McFly.

Think, you do know what a urinal is, don't you? It's not typical for girls or women to use urinals as they are designed for male anatomy. So the number of girls currently using a urinal would likely be very close to zero. I've heard there's tons of girls in India. Yeah. That's actually wrong.

At least thousands. Down vote for you, Sarah Jade. You have a closed mind. Who is an ex-model. Yeah, hit the Anglo-Spotted out. This is why you couldn't make it as a model as well. You went too far. Anglo-Spotted.

Thank you, Jeremy. She is the admin of Beautiful Selfies with Love. Oh, is that her? Sarah and Kitty's chill out. Your hot selfies, old and young, but only 18 plus. Not at the live show, lover. It's simply not safe. Do you want to read more comments on this urinal question?

Honestly, I'm pretty satisfied that we have already seen a girl urinal, like one answer in. That's a fantastical educational find. Yeah, they answered it. Have any women here used a urinal? Well, there you go. Yeah. Not one of our thousands.

All right, I'm moving on. Another medical question. We're all going to the doctor, and we're learning, is a patient's breast covered during a hip replacement surgery? Like, by insurance? I don't know what is going on with this gif of, like, a hip. An x-ray hip. I guess it's to show that, like, in an x-ray, we see it all.

Is that the idea? I think it was to show you where the hip is. Yeah, that's a hip. This guy's bio is writer, painter, thinker, madman. Oh, don't listen to him. And he's followed by writer Orson Scott Card. And I am a pizza. And I am a hamburger.

About the madman, I can literally outdraw anyone. Do you think he means drawing or like with a gun? Like in the West. It's with a gun. He's like Revolver Ocelot. Yeah, I think that's right. Like for Quora. Oh, and he's a novelist.

Yeah, he did write a book called The End of Dandelions. Anyway, I think you're approved if you think they're checking out your sweet tits during surgery. Because they're just going to town on you with all their tools. Yeah. And they don't get to sleep until they're done. Might I be ageist or is this a sensitive group? No, it's not safe. I just feel like the average age of a hip replacement recipient is probably not like peak tit time.

You know what I mean? You'd be surprised. They're only getting perkier until you hit 65? I don't know. It's genetic. Being a doctor, you'd be like,

these tits suck. This is nothing. They'll cover them up because they don't want to see them. They're so ugly. Sometimes they just keep getting better. This guy seems to be a doctor

and it is hidden behind Quoroplus. Because it's a good... Quoroplus says, you can't see this doctor's answer. I love when this happens and it's like well he needs the money

wait you guys don't play for Quora Plus we refuse okay it's a matter of principle and we have a Patreon we could

we could do it I could do it at a moment's notice it just seems like you're exploiting yeah we are you know what I mean yeah

we should do it they're also not a great company so right I mean who is the company Quora there's people

you think there's people in there well I mean it's a lot of robots It's a lot of AI. There's one guy. That guy, yeah. They're hiring someone.

They posted yesterday they're hiring a new AI guy at Quora to eliminate other jobs. That's what they said in the ad. They're like, we're trying to get rid

of some of these bozos. Isn't all of Quora outsourced? Do you know what I mean? I don't know, yeah. These aren't employees. No, no. No, no, no. This is just a guy.

This is just some doctor. That's John DeLeo, but I think the Riddler works there. I think the idea is if you pay for Quora, money will go to Quora, right? This isn't worth talking about.

Let us move on from this. Sorry, sorry. No, you're okay. What do you think about surgery? I want to see. Tits or no? You want to read this answer? From Kelly South.

I just had brain surgery. Yep, just working on my skull. That's all I really wanted to read. Just working on my skull. I'm trying to see. She said that she wasn't worried about it. One thing I never worried about prior to my surgery

is whether or not every single person in that surgical suite would see me naked because I knew for a fact they would. One time I was at the gynecologist and I'm their spread eagle and they go, do you mind if we bring in some students to come look at this?

Or to like just routine? I'm like, okay. So I'm sitting there and then like seven 21-year-olds came in and looked at my normal. and by that I mean not pussing or anything weird

not pussing just pussing just pussy no pussy and then I felt okay about it and I was like oh I hope they learned a lot I had the opposite happen

where I was at the doctor once and they were like pulled in a younger doctor and said pointed to my body and said this is something you only read about in textbooks

and I was like cool Wait, what part of your body? It wasn't anything exciting. They claimed that I kept having ankle injuries and they said that my knee is like not over my ankle correctly or something. I think I have that problem too. Yeah.

Wow, you only read about this in textbooks. They've never seen a penis so big. Yeah. You have to bring the students in. You only hear about this on the Howard Stern Show. I don't know. I guess yeah that's the answer

is no you're probably fine they're not looking at your sweet rack at the doctor the answer is be cool you guys know

Joey Dardano yes comedian Joey Dardano he posted happy birthday dad posted a picture of him and his dad I clicked on his dad's

Instagram and his dad is a plastic surgeon and like the first picture was just a pair of like amazing tits

like right before and after tits with the nipples barely They blurred out. And I'm like, whoa, that's cool. Joe Dardano's got a cool dad. My mother-in-law is a baby plastic surgeon, which is crazy.

But it also means that every time she looks at someone's face, she turns to me and tells me what's anatomically wrong with it, which is scary because you have to then be like, and what does she think about my face? She'll come up and be like, this person's jaw was clearly preformed in the uterus. and you're like and that's why

they're so weird looking and you'll be like I thought they were hot oh no I still would have called that person a seven what am I it is

but she only works on babies yeah because she wants to fix you before you grow up to ugly really hot babies yeah

well no pre-hot babies right you see them later and it's like Timothy Chalamet but before it's cleft lip

Timothy Chalamet do you think your baby needs surgery it wouldn't hurt She's what four months old Right so we can still have time There's time Between one and two

Is when If the skull looks odd I know I know a doctor In Canada So it'll be cheap I want to say Zero drops so far

Feel free to clap Wait what No drops Skull perfectly round I have seen you drop A barbecue sauce On baby though Oh no

Then there's been some drops babies can be a plate anyway what's the next question let's find out if I could click it okay here it is my mom drinks three bottles of wine

a night how bad is that that's a three Amy Winehands what for reference at home what does that mean well do you know

Edward Fortyhands oh yes I do this is Amy Winehands okay got it and you just made that up right now no it's a game

I've won before, but that's aside from the point. I never played this person's mom. I feel like moms are always like, it's not alcohol,

it's wine. Sure. Moms be doing that. Yeah. You're around Italians, you were saying? Yeah. Three a night,

I mean, I guess it depends how long your nights rock. How big's your mama? Probably pretty big, I would guess. I want to know how big the mama is.

You got around 2,000 wine cows a night. Top answer, here is, honestly, that's pretty bad. Three bottles of wine a night. I like that they're worried about the sugar. It's a lot of sugar. That's a lot of sugar. The silent killer.

That's true. Tell her to go for white wines. This is a guy who sells wine, too, and he's like, you gotta slow down. So he knows what he's talking about. He says, you may want to get with your other family members and her physician to suggest that she cut back. Okay.

But then he realized he was mixing up carbs and sugar, so maybe she's fine. She could be fine. Imagine drinking three bottles of wine a night, and they're like, we're worried about your carbs. One bottle of wine a day is obviously not good, but manageable. So it gets three as bad. Two is quick trouble, it says. I should have known you were quick trouble. Jesus.

This comment, she won't last long. 20 upvotes 21 Be the change Oh this is going to be sad already Yeah we're giving that That was just another guy with a mom who did that That's the kind of question we cut in editing

But we can't do that live Oh yeah you can get dementia from alcohol too Oh yeah You can get dementia from all sorts of shit though Yeah that's true Big deal You might as well just go for it. Yeah.

I mean, is she not blacking out already? Like, what is she remembering? Yeah, that's true. Well, sorry to your grandma. We can agree so far it seems like Annette bad. This far into the thread. Why did you think this question wouldn't be sad? Alex?

Maybe I thought she was funny or something. Oh, yeah. Maybe you thought she was going to be doing something funny. I thought there'd be a funny video attached. The person that originally answered this question will not allow anyone to disagree with her

without deleting the comment. What? Whoa. What? I don't know what that's about. Okay, so it's been catered then. And actually, there were lots of funny answers

that were removed by these damn mods. I shouldn't talk. I'm hungover right now. I like this. I'm not a doctor, but if you do the math, there's three bottles of wine.

You don't need to do the math. One, two. Three plus three is six. Three again? That's nine. Should I even look for the person who wrote this question or no? There's too many answers, right? No, that's guaranteed to be sad. Oh, fair enough.

We simply must move on. All right, fine. Let's do The Quoker, our incel segment. Somewhere we're safe. It lies exposed. Make that louder. That's the loudest it goes, but this is an original song I wrote. Okay, here's a question.

What percentage of an 80-year-old could do 40 push-ups in a row? I would guess zero. I would guess statistically zero. Yeah, probably true. That's a challenge to the crowd. Any oldies out there? Do any 80-year-olds want to come on stage right now?

Any 80-year-olds with perfect tits, new hip, incredible tits, 40 push-ups. 40 push-ups. And we're going to count them. Also, the question isn't what percentage of 80-year-olds. It's of N 80-year-olds. Oh. Does that change it for you?

Just the top part. All right, well, Frank Nicosi says, I am 87. I was able to do 40 push-ups in a row a year ago. Says he does it every day. That's incredible. Rote turk cuff. I want to see this guy's profile.

Five years of solo sail-gee. What is sail-gee? I imagine it's a typo. I think it just said 87-year-old trying to type sailing. He has zero questions. He's taking down racists. He's not that interesting. This is just the time he's in at port.

He's just a strong man. Ronald says it takes dedication, though it's not easy. But while push-ups are good, leg exercises are probably better. Is that true, Alex? For cardiovascular health, yes. Then push-ups, I feel confident in saying this.

But your arms are so much closer to your heart. That's true. Does that have nothing to do with it? Finish him. They don't have to work as hard. The arms don't have to work as hard? The arms don't have to work as hard to push the blood to your heart. Well, what about a bird?

Ask the army. What about a bird? That's such a good point. What if I was nothing bird and I was doing push-ups? What about bird? A bird? Wait, what? Like a big bird?

If you're a bird. Oh, if you're a bird, then it's way better. Yeah, leg strength means nothing to a bird, no? Leg strength means nothing to a bird. They have famously skinny little legs. I always walk into these gotcha questions. And the answer is for a bird, the push-ups are far superior.

Alex, do you want people to know that you're a personal trainer so they can hire you? You know I don't, and we shouldn't bring it up. Do not look into that. I didn't know that. Well, that's a new development. The schedule's full. I'd love to make room in my calendar.

I'm generally training several birds. I like this answer. Not sure, but I'm over 70 years old and can rip out 100 in a row. Try and kill him. Do you believe that as a professional? Zoom on his face. We'll be the judge of that.

Zoom on his face. How much tea he has. No, he's got a great neck. He's doing it. He's doing them sideways right now. For the audio listener, the man is sideways. I see it. He's a retired boxing trainer.

And also sex training. Whoa. He's a bodybuilding trainer in all sorts of ways. Can you go down to the first question, though? This is the question he asked. Reading results on this site, my question is, when husband catches his wife cheating, why do the husband just whines or walk away?

Is that why those wives cheat? Because the husband has no balls. Or are those husbands pussies, too? And this has no answers, and it was posted in May. Can you go to answers? Yes. Seems like a loaded question. What can I do to make a girlfriend never cheat?

Do you think he got cheated on, or do you think he's constantly cucking other men? No, this is a bull. You think this is a bull or a cuck? I think this is a bull. This is the guy she tells you not to worry about boxing granddad. Charles Evans, 75-year-old push-up maniac

who teaches how to have sex. I don't want you around that push-up maniac anymore. Can I ask a stupid question? Sure. Can you go down? Is this true that the Earth's water came from outer space? I don't think that is true. Where did it exactly come from and how is it formed?

Charles says no. He says it's from Noah. Okay, well, that makes more sense. Yeah, that makes more sense, actually. Because I've never seen water in outer space, so... Well, I like this comment. Your content is impressive. Should we follow this guy?

I feel like we should. Yeah, you should absolutely follow him. Do we want to answer his question? It has no answers. Okay, yeah, so the question is, does the husband have no balls and that's why you cheat on him because he's a pussy?

And the answer is, I don't know, that's crazy. Do men whine when they get cheated on? And they go, don't do that. I just went to the store why is our push up neighbor here okay I'm gonna move on

let's read another question here are you stronger when you're drunk this is a drinking episode statistically you are it's actually lies exposed Alex you're drinking do you feel stronger yeah I do I would assume I am

We should have done a test where we did the arm wrestling. Have me pick up anything in the whole world. Corey, do you have any stories you want to do about drunk strength for your stand-up set? But I do feel that I'm more likely to run if I'm drunk. Do you know what I mean? I feel like wherever I want to go, I want to get there quicker. And I will tell you, very rarely in real life am I just like, well, we should run. Am I just like walking to the store being like, should we just run really quick to get there?

So I do wonder what that's... I am always like, next place now, you know? Sure. On Black Friday, they run sometimes. That's true. For sales. That's what Santa Claus does. And are they drunk then?

Some of them. Some of them. I mean, I've seen some crazy things. Alex is on Black Friday like, Big Daddy Dom getting his gifts. Big Daddy Dom getting his... Putting on my little subs. Give me the gift that you love to give.

Put it on the reindeer. I feel like I'm smarter when I'm drunk sometimes. Really? Just because I'm a little more focused. And you're confident? And I'm confident. Right. I'm confident.

My tits are younger somehow. Everything looks really good. It's like a flowers for Algernon thing for you. The more you drink, you get smarter and smarter until you stop drinking. Maybe I'm not smart because I never read that book. It's about a mouse. It's about a mouse?

She's out. Claire will not read a book about a mouse. I was getting it confused for flowers in the attic. I don't know what that is. You don't know what that is? No. is either. You don't know what Flowers in the Attic is? I don't fuck with

flowers like that. Give it to us. What's the synopsis? You gotta. It's about a brother and a sister sort of exploring each other sexually. How have you not heard of this? It's a book. What's that?

Is there a moral? It's actually a video. I don't remember. Wait, I have seen this. I haven't seen it. I haven't read it. But I know what it is. Cool. I was trying

to figure out, do you guys remember what Two Girls, One Cup was about? Of course. Yes, I do remember. I don't think it had a plot. It had a main thing, though. But the thing was the poo-poo, right? It pooped in a cup. You think there was a secondary plot? It was about Afghanistan.

And we've learned nothing. We've learned nothing. Seriously. The two girls were pushing Shady. We gotta get him out of retirement. One last ride. That could save us. We have an answer

from Wesley Clifton here. He says, no, but technically yes. Which is an approach I've never heard anybody come at this bad before. You can be as strong, sober as when you're drunk,

as surprising as it is. It's not necessarily the ethanol that makes you stronger, but it's an effect on your brain that's called drunk strength. It only applies when you're wasted. So essentially,

you have mother strength saving a baby from a car unlocked by whiskey. That's kind of what I'm getting from it. Normally your muscles are held back a great deal by your brain, but your brain puts your limits on how much strength each muscle has. Whoa, is that true?

That sounds right. I feel like it's not that you're physically stronger, it's you're mentally less weak. Yeah. Pain is weakness, whatever, whatever. The Two Girls, One Cup thing just shot a memory back into my brain of a bit I used to do in college about how I one time sent my dad a Two Girls,

One Cup parody video that I didn't know was gay porn halfway through called Two Guys, One Flute where they both play a flute

and then it's fully the guy sucking the other guy's dick. And I walked downstairs to my dad being like, isn't that funny? And he was like, no.

I don't know how you accidentally do the thing you just described. It's like a five minute video and three minutes of it is two guys, one guy holding a flute and bugging into it

and the other guy playing the flute. And I was like, funny video. Don't need to watch the whole thing. I got it. I like what your dad did though.

He was like, three minutes of this, not enough. I want to watch him play the flute until the song ends. He was scrubbing through like, where's the good part?

Are these guys going to fuck or what? Did he get mad at you or what happened? I don't think he cared. I think he was just confused. Not about why I sent it, but about what was

happening in this video. He was like, you can do that? he didn't get the reference yeah I'm assuming he also didn't know like the parody it was about anyway

he knew about it dads know about two girls one cup it was the hoctoo of its day yeah the number one joke in offices across America

dads are aware they have criticisms of Afghanistan yeah it was a monoculture back then so we all knew about two girls one cup

there was only four channels you have a daughter do you think in 15 years you're not gonna know the big goofy porn everyone's talking about?

No, I won't know it. I don't know any celebrities now. These are different. These are politicians. It's the same. It's the same as the cup. Why haven't they...

This is such a long answer. There's like 3,000 words on this. This guy says, I'd say yes, I casually slammed my friend Martin, who is a fair bit bigger

and stronger than me, into a wall hard enough to knock the wind out of him simply because he slapped the back of my neck when I was drunk. Oh, interesting. And this guy went to Harvard.

He beat up a Harvard baseball player. Good for him. Good for you, Tom Mitchell. He's a professional iguana caretaker. Do you think that's real? I couldn't tell you, honestly. I don't know why you would lie about something like that. Let's say where he lives.

His most recent question is, would it be possible for a sexual sadist who had up until this point not felt any connection with other individuals to fall in love? No, it's not possible. What is with this website where if you click on any account, they are somehow sexual deviants.

What do you think that word is? What? Acromegaly? That's a great question. Does anyone know? Claire, a beautiful pronunciation of acromegaly. Thank you. We have no answers.

Acromagaly. It could be anything, yeah. The G could be silent. Acromagaly. Jeremy is now Googling acromegaly. It's a hormone disorder. Oh, I think that's what Casey has. Oh.

Our friend Casey. He was just telling me about that actually on Saturday Really? Interestingly enough he told me the opposite problem He said that he had a hormone disorder where he never went through puberty So how could he be growing too much if he's not growing at all Right How strong is he?

How strong would you say he is? Casey James Salango? Pre or post hormone I guess now Now? I would say strong enough to beat me up I'd say he's strong enough to beat up Claire Parker Let us move to the next question, maybe

As an idea that we could do This is quilosophy These are our philosophy questions That's very interesting These are the great questions of our day Of our time What's the point of being alone? What do you think it is?

What's the point of being alone? I don't know if there's a point I think sometimes it's just a happenstance. Sometimes you're in a room, nobody else is there. Is there a point or is it just true? That's really deep. It's where you learn to rap. I don't know.

I've been around a lot of men who have been trying to rap. I feel like maybe the point of being alone is to practice then. But not everyone has heard about the point. The point of being alone is to practice being around other people. By rapping. By rapping. By showing them your sick rhymes. And then pooping is for being alone.

Rapping a lot of time is about overcoming anxiety. That's so true, Alex. Thank you. I've been leading up to this. Have you been practicing how to rap, Alex? No, but I haven't been alone recently. Okay, fair enough. I live in a one-bedroom apartment with a baby.

I'm actually never alone. I feel like that's a good time to learn to rap, right? Because... Well... What, is she going to tell you your batches? If we're all begging me to do it, I guess I'll start learning today. Didn't you say you scared your baby

doing the Dune song? Yes, she cried because I did the Dune theme song. Acapella. I thought you said the Dune song. I was like, can he write that himself? Slightly more embarrassing. It's the song from Dune.

Yeah, yeah. And it goes? And it goes. I fucking do. imagine like a screaming child a foot away from you like the only time she's ever been afraid

because you were speaking her language for the first time she didn't know what to think of me 10,000 years 10,000 years of plans abomination Claire have you ever seen Dune? I've seen them both

I will say for the first one I smoked weed beforehand and then I went in and I immediately spilled all of my popcorn and knocked over my drink and then fell asleep so I missed it.

Ah, sure. But I saw the second one in IMAX. Actually, Joey Dardano gave me his ticket. He had bought three sets of tickets

because his dad gives women fake titties. And he has a lot of money. He's got that kind of trust fund, that kind of multi-IMAX dune trust fund.

Wow. So thanks to Joey Dardano, I was able to go see it and I watched the whole thing and I have to say, I'm glad I didn't watch the first one because it felt like preamble.

And I like to get right to the point. Yeah. Finally, they're saying it. But you did drink the water of life before you had the baby. That's correct. Okay, good. This guy has a list of things

that are good for being alone. He says, number one, spending time alone helps you know yourself better. It makes you appreciate others. I guess because you're lonely? Because you hate being alone so much. It enhances creativity,

like learning how to rap. And improved mental health. Like learning how to rap. The mech has spoken. What does that mean? What's his name? He's the auto mechanic that reads and writes. Oh.

And he knows English. He's just like me. He knows a lot about cars. Okay, this is what he knows about. Car care, auto repair, cars and automobiles, semen retention. Can I tell you something? I saw auto mechanic, and I assumed that meant a mechanic that works on the self. Like an autobiography.

I was like, oh, interesting. He's like a doctor of sorts. He's working something. His one question is, how has superhero movies and animation affected you? Oh, no. We could go on and on about that. Couldn't we, boys?

I'd rather talk about semen retention and the Bible. Why do you guys want to retent their seam? I imagine for tea, right? For tea. You want to be full of testosterone. Oh, yes, for tea. Not like putting in a tea.

No, no, no. Yeah. I did think for a second you thought men were jizzing in tea, and that couldn't be farther from the truth. T-E-A? Yeah. Because when you said putting in a tea, I was thinking golf. Like you had to come to glue the tea to the ground.

I thought you guys were talking about having sex with Mr. T. No, no. So we're all confused. Can I say, I don't think our two things are dissimilar. That's right. I think it would take a lot of tea to get that man. How's your tea these days? My tea? I hope it's great.

I don't know. I'm going bald. That means high tea. It means high. Jeremy's got some high tea. High tea. My plastic surgery mother-in-law, one time I was saying, I think I have high testosterone

because I put on muscle very quickly. I don't even try. I just am weirdly jacked, and I said that to her, and she said, oh yeah, that makes sense. You have a lot of hair on your lip. And then we just had to wait for our table to be ready at the restaurant, and I played it.

It was actually a real moment when I said, well, Claire, look at the growth. Just a year ago, you would have cried if you had heard that, but now you have

the maturity to say, it is true. Sometimes you do have a hairy lip and you get it waxed and that's fine. That's much like being alone. There's no point.

It's just the truth of the matter. She sounds really cool. Yeah. And it's helpful when you're like, what's wrong with this celebrity face?

She knows, but I will say. What's wrong with this face? You know, it was helpful to be like, you know when you're like, is anyone noticing

this flaw about me it was good to be like okay so my mustache is absolutely visible right yeah the answer is yes they are noticing it

yeah I wore I put on lipstick for the first time in a long time yesterday cool and I showed my husband I was like

do you think this is too much and he went it's not that bad that's not the answer that's not the answer I wanted the first time I ever got my mustache waxed

was in college and I hadn't seen my brother because I went to college and we both met up again at my grandma's funeral and the first thing he said to me was ah you finally got

your stache waxed wow and I went oh so it was like a big deal how many stories do you have about this those two

okay I just figured why not you know I'm going to Edinburgh I need to write out a full I have 45 more minutes

I'm wondering is there a stache that's good a stache arc we could do right oh yeah totally and then you can

sort of go into like the history of mustaches and Hitler and Mussolini and then it could be about like dictatorships and power. And maybe I grow my stache out

for the show and then I reclaim my power because I'm hearing a lot of powerful men have stache. People will like that. Every night you shave it. They like stuff like that

at Edinburgh. Yeah, they love, yeah, and I'll get nudie patootie except for the stache. Yeah, get nudie patootie. It'll be a one woman show. Edinburgh pictures

are like poster flyers are always women who are nudie patootie but with a fake mustache going like this. Wow. That's all it is. And can I say,

that's why I came here tonight, to workshop. Exactly. So these are the things. Were you going to do a bit about that mustache thing, or no? No, should I?

I don't know. Why not, right? I've got a lot of time to fill. What's the name of the show? It's called Claire Parker's 32. Okay. Okay. I would work in something

about has a mustache. Maybe that's the name entirely. Claire Parker, freshly waxed. Do you know what I mean? That's a name. Can I say that actually, and then I would do a merkin,

and I gotta tell you Merkins are some of my least favorite comedy and it's there's a lot of women who do a lot of Merkin based comedy who?

can I tell you it's a group of people that includes like the funniest girl on The Bachelor do you know what I mean? I bet Chrissy Teigen would love a Merkin

right what is a Merkin? I don't know what this is it's a fake bush do you mean American? okay it's like a wig for your bush

she meant American but she was saying like American can't you picture a woman and she's at the bell house and she's got a nude jumpsuit on, but a merkin. But a merkin.

Borat. That's the type of comedy, right? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. As if to say, what if I were on camera? I know exactly who you're talking about. And do you know what I mean? That also Chrissy Teigen

would think it's funny. Yeah. And also like if there was a silly girl on The Bachelor. Yeah. She'd be like, on my date I'm wearing a merkin. And all the other girls

would be like, you're crazy. The wacky girl. She'd get cut immediately. You're too funny for love. And that's the truth. Okay, I'm going to move on from whatever the fuck that was.

There was one at the bottom he answered there that said, my wife is a hot wife, what do I do? And he said, dump her in a freezer. That's what I was moving on from. Then I saw that he said, kill your wife.

And I said, move on. And you were like, hold on. That's television. I don't care who you are. There are so many answers on this website that are just like, why don't you just kill her? Yeah.

As journalists, we're obligated to do that. We're going on to one of our favorite sub-quoras, which is swimming in clothes. Now, this is a quora for people who get sexual pleasure out of swimming in all their clothes. They like the feeling, the gross, gross feeling of wet cloth against their...

That's my worst... I hate that shit. Something that gives me, like, my nails on a chalkboard is, like, a wet sweatshirt being tied around the waist. Can you imagine that? Isn't that horrifying to think of? That's, like, weighing you down, and then what if you're wearing shorts and you kind of feel the wet kind of...

Do you ever get your jeans wet in the snow and then they're just creeping You guys don't know about this? You two have got to check out this piece There's around 1,000 pictures we need to look at now Okay, this is the question I know that most people here enjoy swimming

without underwear, but I'm the opposite What do you think of this? I like what do you think of this a lot. You can put that at the end of any statement I don't know. What do you think of this? What I love about this is there's one really bitchy answer

that means like, don't you mean swimming in clothes? Like the rest of the space? I feel like everyone in the space yet does like this. My wife and I are now enjoying our life like we did before we had our kids. Now that they have all moved on on their own, we text each other at work and sometimes even sext each other. Is this answering the question?

We will set up a date for dinner, drinks, dancing, and plan for an aquatic end of the evening. swim fully clothed that always leads to arousal. An eminent lovemaking. This is California lifestyle. This is just nothing.

We lounge around in the water in her lingerie. Where are you going? How does this answer? She's got to get a UTI. Yeast infection, UTI. Yeast infection, UTI.

We have delightful foreplay. Okay, that's enough of that. You're a down vote here. What do you think of this? What do you think of this? You and your wife sound much like us. Great. Thank you, Dallas.

I feel as if fully clothed includes underwear in a way, or at least for me it does, because I always have my underwear on underneath my shorts or pants whenever getting wet fully clothed. I often have my underwear underneath my shorts. I can't say categorically, but for me, underwear is part of swimming in all your clothes. Go off, Olga.

Olga, go Olga. I perfectly agree. A master stroke. No, go up. I have something to say. He's going to have clothes on. They all have clothes on. Those are swimming trunks, no?

Those are his clothes. Those are great. He says, I wear my underwear in the water all the time. I either wear them by themselves or his underwear under my clothes are under box legs swim trunks. Box legs swim trunks. Box legs swim trunks. Oh, here he is underwater.

Okay, okay, okay. We have to describe. I did not factor in that being clothed meant hat as well. I forgot about hat. If I click this, is it going to be... He's in clothes, right?

He's got to be wearing clothes. Boom. I'll bet my career on his clothes. All right, describe this for the listener, Alex. This man is doing a kick turn underwater in a pork pie hat. Glasses. Glasses.

And what appears to be suspenders of some kind. Is he wearing a bow tie? Yeah, it kind of looks like it. And glasses. This guy fucking rules. This is my favorite fetish of all time. I love these people. They're so weird.

This is not bullying. We are just finding out about... I am appreciating their strange lifestyle. Interesting people. it's just people a lot of them like insist it's not sexual

it's so clearly sexual wait scroll up you can't say I like being wet all the time and not have it be sexual what do you want me to click Alex

scroll up to the top we need a one follower and it's pee pants guy you can guess what he's into we're not gonna click on him I don't think that's

for a live show go to pee pants guy just once no but what if it turns out his swimming is in pee we know who this guy is do you wanna go there

this guy lives in Florida. His whole thing is peeing in his pants for sex. That's his whole thing. We've visited his profile at least once. Simple pleasures. He likes the warmth of the pee in the pants. It's like there's a pool in my pants and everyone's invited.

Should we read more questions of this? I feel like the questions will be good. We haven't been here in a while, so I think it's okay. This question is for ladies only. Fellas. Cover your ears. Why do you like to slip into your clothes? What's your favorite thing to wear. How did you get started swimming in your clothes?

If you tell us a little something about yourself, age, location, any wet clothes stories you'd like to share. Thank you for any and all responses. No answers. Any wet clothes stories? Does anybody have will anyone give up this poor guy an answer? He's been trying to jerk off since when? March?

He's just waiting. Help this guy. One of the ladies in here have to like swimming in their clothes. Just tell him how fucking old you are. Please. ASL. besides swimming what other ways do you enjoy

getting drenched fully clothed bathing swim world white swim world and by swim world I mean sea world they're going to

swim world I don't know what that means this is so interesting to me that you could get kicked out for being too modest you know what I mean

yeah I think it's like kind of gross in the pool to wear clothes though, right? I mean, once you get in the pool, you've

kind of accepted just a lot. Do you know, once you're in a public pool, you're banking on chlorine. Your Slavic love story starts here.

Do you think these people are jerking off to the beginning of Friends? Wait. We've seen this guy before, Alex, right?

Didn't we look at this post like three years ago, this guy? I think he kind of runs the space, you know? This is a YouTube video.

He's kind of a great man of swimming in A public service announcement. Swim in your clothes. This guy posted a nine minute video of just him getting in and out of a pool. This is the J. Robert Oppenheimer

of swimming in clothes. I am going to send this to my dad. We'll not be checking the whole video. Okay, so this guy posts weekly on YouTube. This is this week's YouTube. He's got a sick pool. I gotta know how many. Oh, 31 subscribers.

I wish I was him. This pool looks like a fake boobie. Very wet calisthenics are his specialty. I want to see other people posting their photos, but I guess not. It's just this guy. I can't believe you were just offered nine minutes and that wasn't enough for you.

We need more people? I want different people. Okay, you sicko. Jeremy, move on. All right, fine. It's all... Look how happy he is. It's all Jim here.

You're right, you're right, you're right. We can't just have Jim. Okay, this is another question. Can you be both strong and kind? No way. All right, great. Unless you're drunk. Power breeds cruelty.

Okay, people, strong and kind. There's not going to be any answers on this one. There's a ton of them we're talking about. Of course, June says. In your kindness, you also need to set limits because in order to be kind, you need to also take care of yourself so you don't get burnt out.

Oh, no. That's great. I think everyone's going to say yes. I don't think anyone's going to say no, although it would be fun. Gigi's Dark Side says, I do my best daily to show my strength through the level of kindness.

Even though I have been done wrong, I don't allow myself to be bitter. That's hard. And she appears to have an IV from Soul Calibur, PFP, so you know that she's serious about it. This is actually a space. Gigi's dark side. Welcome to my dark side.

Here I'll expose some of my dark thoughts. This is not a safe live show space. I want to read. I'm calling this instantly. What do you mean? This is going to involve a whip and some kind of sexual torture. I don't think that's true.

It seems like she just has panic attacks. Can you be open-minded for a minute? It doesn't matter, right? She mostly just wants to post illustrations of witches. I don't think it's really that sexual. Yeah, she's just nervous. They're in a Soul Calibur tournament, and they're dangerous.

It's mostly image macros about mental illness. She just wants to know if unconditional love is real. She wants to know if there's any way anyone's mom has ever loved them. All right, let's do Please Chorus 5 Quo. Please, and then we'll do the question segment. There you go. All right, great.

This is not a real police car if you're listening in the car. It's part of the live show, and you should not pull over, and you should continue listening. But if there is, does it happen to be a cop behind you? Maybe this is not our fault. Ignore them. This is in Street Survival, which is learn how to be safe and prepared no matter where you are in any city or slum.

If your city is having looting and riots, is it morally wrong to booty trap your business or home? Booty trap. Now we could answer this As if they said booby trap But I don't think we should No The answer is can you booty trap

Okay can I say something I feel like I just recently saw A Quentin Tarantino movie Where somebody was booty trapped In a business So I feel like that is a real thing What movie was it Was it Jackie Brown

No it was like one of the main ones Pulp Fiction Pulp Fiction I feel like they got booty trapped Booty trapped Oh, because of the gimp? What is the distinction between boobie and booty trapping? I think a boobie trap is like kind of

if you're a mouse and you get stuck, but a booty trap is when they're trapping your ass specifically. You know what I mean? We got your ass. Yeah, the trap of that ass. An ass is not synecdoche. You know what I mean? They're like, we got your ass.

So if they pull up something that goes onto your belt and then you're stuck in the doorway? I don't think I would booty trap my home. there's too much work I'm not gonna home alone my home if there's a riot have you ever had

mice have you ever put mouse traps out cause that's kind of a booby trap sitch I have and it's really sad so you would but you don't like it

I would but I've done I've done with the glue traps and then you sort of wake up to a mouse going ehhh ehhh right

and then I feel bad and so I dump it I dump olive oil all over it so it can sort of slide it's foot off of the glue trap and I just let it

run around my house again It seems like at that point Just let the mice live You know You're pouring olive oil Just invite them in I take the mouse outside I go I'm sorry

I stuck this trap On your foot But I just had to Because I wanted to Get you out of my house Italian household Yeah How does your Italian husband

Feel about this I just put some Olive oil on it Get him out of here It's a cheap olive oil Get some gravy on it Yeah this mouse Is too thin

It's a rat Yeah it was a rat It's a rat From the mob Everyone says you shouldn't booty trap your home No statistically you're only likely To trap your own booty in that case I like this comment

Dude the term is not booty trap And then follow up Please do not create a trap out of your home Honestly who asked this question Why can't you make a trap in your own home Not to be too libertarian about it Thank you You can

I should be allowed to kill myself by accident. Because you're going to go in the trap. By putting mines there. And I feel the same way about seatbelts. If I make a mistake, I die and that's my problem. You don't like being tied down. I do if I set it for myself and it happens. I like the option to be tied down in my own home

should I step into my own booty trap. You know what I mean? It should be legal for you to accidentally forget about your booby trap and kill your door dash driver when it comes into your house. with your Chinese takeout. This is the person who asked the question. His name is Bittersteel.

Zero followers, sad. Sad Coralobi. He has cool questions. Like, if someone keeps taking your lunch sandwiches out of the work refrigerator and eating them, is it okay to leave a sandwich flavored with ghost peppers in the fridge? Yes.

Booty trap. Yeah, I got ideas for traps. This guy just wants to shoot looters. Do gay men like living in closets? That's a Harry Potter question. There's a lot of shooting from the hip happening. The closet is sort of a booty trap. Yeah, yeah, I heard half of what you said.

I'm going to ask a question on Quora. Wait, go up a little bit more. If your cheating wife is divorcing you, is it okay to quit your high-paid job and enlist in the military as a low-paid private so you will not have alimony money? And joining the military always looks good. Yes, that's allowed.

Famously, joining the military is a way to get your wife not to cheat on you. Everyone knows that. I think if someone's mother of their child is withholding I wonder whose half of his questions

are like my wife hates me and the other half are like can I kill people would it be alright when can I kill my wife's if two girls jump a guy's girlfriend is it wrong

for the boyfriend to jump in no three girls versus one guy that's absolutely fair it's aligned with the wage gap it's fair it's a video

I've sent to Jeremy's dad You gotta check this one out dad It's hilarious I don't think a world People just keep sending your dad porn Just as an extended joke He's like I keep tracking up I don't get it

Alright we gotta end soon We gotta wrap up We got one more question We gotta do it in 10 minutes Do Quora romance I'm going as fast as I can This is on stuff men have to deal with Dot Quora dot com

Would you date a beautiful woman that's 6'4"? Would you? Anybody? Would anyone here date a beautiful woman who's 6'4"? Yuck. If none of you will, I will. Someone's gotta. Too beautiful, too tall.

This guy says, I dated a 6'2 Amazon named Elka. That's weird to say. This guy says, I would, except that my wife might get really, really mad. Shut up. No, she wouldn't. Can I say, I thought that was the Neptunes. I went, I know those guys. They're actually a big deal.

Big Rocky, the gay Gryffindor, says, nah, I like dudes. Go off, Rocky. Followed. Jacob Hall says, you already had me a beautiful woman. I like Michael Williams. He's already looking for a situation ship. I'm not one to date, but I would hook up. And he's a relationship and sex coach

at Phoenix Fire LLC. He must know something we don't. He's basically Hitch. Isn't that the plot of Hitch? About not dating Nordic women? How did you become a bank? He asked. What does that mean?

Then he posted on Stuff Women Deal With and he said, I followed this site because Scarlet is cool, but I also wanted to know more about what issues women face. I believe in unity. and I'd like to know how I can best realize that goal. The only place to start is from a place of deep understanding.

So tell me, what do women have to deal with? No answers. Well, this is why women are still set back. Yeah, that was a good answer. Because we won't let Michael sit at the table. We won't let him know. We know women have things to deal with, but not what they are. Another one of Scarlett's fans.

Not interested. Should we just listen to our question someone sent in? Okay, so every week we ask our audience to write in their questions, Quarators at gmail.com, for our live Quora segment, Is That Okay? Great. Is that okay? Is this it, Alex? I think, what do you think about this?

It's the one that says live show on it. What do you think about this? Hey, Quarators. Colin, sending you this message from Glasgow. recently you read a message on Quora from a person from Glasgow and you played Anglespotted it's a massive fucking insult

we are not Angles yeah my question is this when you get religion which I know you all will eventually be it Jesus fucking Abraham the light of Islam

what are you going to do with all your previous relationships, all your previous friends, because they will not understand you anymore. Being people who don't have any spirituality and only still see life as a series of treats, what are you going to do? Are you going to try and take them with you

or are you just going to cut them off? Thanks. Anglespotted. Anglespotted. Don't back Dane. Double Dane. What? He said, don't back Dane, double Dane.

Oh, sure. Okay. I just want to say the last time I did this podcast, the question was like, if a man lived in your toilet, would you shit in his face? Yeah. And that felt like way easier to answer.

This question, if you couldn't hear it, was when you find God, what will you do with your evil friends? Yeah. Will you leave them behind, godless? Yeah, I'll probably leave them behind godless, frankly. That guy sounded hot. That's kind of what I got from that.

Even though he was mad at us for being stupid. Can I say, can he hear us up there? I think he can hear us. He can hear us. I feel Glasgow is quite close to Edinburgh. If you'd like to buy tickets to my show. I'm open to receiving God. You could come tell me about it.

It's $15, July 31st through August 11th. Thank you, sir. This segment has become a sexual maelstrom. I think I would start a religion, so I'd just bring them all in. I don't think I'm going to someone else's religion. That's weird. There's no way you're starting a religion.

You don't like when the sandwich guy remembers your order. No, you're right. Maybe I'll just disappear. No one will ever see me again. I think the number one thing about starting a religion is you have to be unpredictable. That's right.

you have to have information nobody else has yeah so if the sandwich guy can guess what you want to eat then how are you getting direct messages from God do you know what I mean

so I think you have to be I think that's right and I have cool drinks I want everyone to try yeah and there's nothing wrong with them I forgot what Anglo

is short for English Anglo-Saxon Anglo-Saxon that's right I mean Scotland is not in England it's above it

I know that it's like England's hat I know that Is this what you wanted, by the way? There needs to be a word for England, Scotland, and Ireland. It's called Britain. There can't be any kind of a kingdom that's united. I don't think Ireland is part of it, and they're very pissed.

Yes. People are so annoying about it. England is the one country on the island, right? And then Britain's the island. And then the British Isles are both of them. Oh, British Isles. And then UK is just the country that's like Britain and Northern Ireland. Ireland. But there should be a word for the

two English-speaking islands that are next to each other. Uncircumcised. It's British Isles. It's the uncircumcised island. It's the uncircumcised triangle. The triangle of the uncircumcised. Uncut. A lot of planes have gone missing there.

It's under the hood. The uncircumcised islands, it's all good in the hood. We should go to Glasgow. Glasgow's really fun. You know what? Let's go. You want to go?

We're going to go right after this, folks. And that's why I think we're ready to close out. Any other exciting news anybody has? Claire, do you have a bit you want to try? Oh, yeah. Do you want to try anything before? No. You know, I actually snuck in the arm.

This seems to get realized out of people. I might make that a joke. I'm scared I'm going to have an ugly kid because I've been jacked since birth. Yeah. This is good for the audio pod. Yeah. Okay. What you guys have to know if you're listening is I'm so weirdly jacked.

Right. The joke is how strong Claire is. And you do have a mother-in-law who... Not strong enough to beat up Casey, but maybe if I was drunk. That's what you got. And your mother-in-law inspects babies. Yeah, so she will tell me right away.

Yeah. And she can fix it, which is so nice. Can you tell us, after the show, what's wrong with each of our heads? I want to know. I could get her on FaceTime. I want to meet her, and I want her to tell me if my skull is right.

Yo, actually, it looks good from here. I was about to say the same thing, J-Man. Wow, there you go. Give it up for Jeremy's skull. Give it up for you guys. that's been the Quarators podcast we'll see you live

on YouTube next week bye motherfuckers Quarators