Quorators - Love Around The World w/ Ben Doyle

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

LIVE FROM THE GUTTER IN BROOKLYN! Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Why do I love Latinas?   Why should a wife make muckery of the husband?   Is getting accidentally knocked out a big deal, or can I shrug it off?   --- Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

okay hello thank you for coming to our show house is dancing there's one person coming in oh my gosh the energy is electric it's where you perfectly match a 4 p.m afternoon podcast but today in this room we've done it give it up for yourselves everybody at the gutter bar

this is Quarators the podcast where we go on Quora and read Quoras no one else does that

no one in the world does it we're the first to do it we're the first to do it and we're all brothers I'm the bad one I'm the one people

don't want on their shows I have no comment on that I love anyone in entertainment folks we have a great show for you today I just gotta ask this great room here how many of you are familiar with the Quarters podcast before coming in the door today okay

that's pretty good I would call that a strong plurality how many are unfamiliar yes larger larger group or just maybe more enthusiastic yeah maybe that's what it is the other people are like yeah it's fine I don't know the other ones are like

I don't ever want to know it. I'm not doing laundry right now, but other times it could be good. Well, if you're listening at home and this is your first episode, the show is we go on Quora and we click on things and we go, that's interesting.

And that's the show. Does anyone not know what Quora is? Great. Good. It's Facebook but Reddit. That's what it is. It's a questions website. It's Facebook but Reddit.

People ask questions and then other people answer them. That's all you have to know. That's really all you have to know. And with no further ado, we will start the show. Now, we have a very exciting guest today. He has flown all over the world for his big projects. You love and admire this man.

Please welcome, from Jetlag the Game, Mr. Ben Doyle, everyone. Ben Doyle! Yeah! Oh, yeah. We all have to stand up and shake your hand like it's on a late night. Claire, stand up when you do it. Okay. That's a thing, right, in late night that they can't sit until the guest sits?

They can't sit. Does anyone care about that? I care about that. It feels like no one cares about that sometimes. Fed, how are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm happy to be here.

My partner on that program, Jet Lag, Adam, was supposed to be here, but instead he decided to go on vacation in Switzerland with his beautiful girlfriend. That sucks Isn't vacation your job already? No, it's not a vacation It's hard work Hard work But yeah, I'm glad to be here

In the bowling alley Where's your beautiful girlfriend right now? She is at work She goes to another borough I didn't know She may be in this building this very night There's no way to know until the show's over Before we get too into the show

We had you on the show very early on Like two years ago And I think every comment was like Wish Ben was on the show Because apparently we didn't let you talk enough So this time I'm going to throw to you a lot Alright We're going to make sure you're in it

Good luck People don't have me on podcasts that much And I think we're about to find out why but yeah look i don't i don't talk i feel like i'm not naturally inclined to talk on things like this i on my own podcast i rarely talk uh and it's uh my mom doesn't like that but now many people refer to talking as the backbone of a podcast yeah but we'll have to see if you can go the other way with it as well um we tried to make you as at home as possible with our theme today which is why the theme is

Love Around the World. Whoa. Honey. Oh, by the way, it's got to be minimal soundboard. They're all different volumes and it's very scary for me to hit. Wait, what was that?

Which one did you hit? Wait, turn it all the way up. Uh-huh, honey. Yeah, that was worth it. That's pretty good. I mean, as long as the gunshot works. Oh, Jesus. No, okay, we're just doing the themes.

We're just doing the themes today. But before we get there, We have added a segment since the last time you were on the show. Quora has segments that are little communities. They're called Spaces, and every week we like to highlight them. This is this week's Space of the Week.

Space of the Week. Again, just segment themes. It's okay if it's once in a while. All right. Now, Ben, again, we wanted to make this suited to you. This space is constructive trad wives and domestic discipline. Let's see if I can get that over there.

Go ahead and pull that up. Now that guy with his hand raised just so, that's kind of like you, isn't it? Yeah, no, I'm well equipped to talk about this for sure. I said Facebook plus Reddit, but also there is a lot of perverts on it. So that is a big part of it. This is, okay, so this is Tradwise

and domestic discipline power exchange community. it's followed by one user we follow, which is I am a pizza. Which, if you don't know... For those new to the show, this is a guy we found who only asks questions like, I am a pizza, will you eat me?

Will you eat me? Will you cook me up? Wait, isn't there also a... We don't need to... We don't need to bully I am a pizza today. Yeah. He's been through enough. He went in the oven for crying out loud.

I will say, he was saying that people were being... Last time we saw him was a few months ago. He said he was quitting Quora because people were too mean to him. Not us. We celebrate I Am A Pizza. We are. We are on this team.

And it does appear that he is back as of March. Oh, wow. So, shouts out to our good friend, I Am A Pizza. Some meals just can't stay away. Wait, can you guys hear me? I hear you. I hear you just so, but I'm sitting next to you. Oh, just my soft feminine voice.

Okay, great. Yeah, Mike, can we listen to women a little bit more? See how much louder the man is? I think Mike is making me louder in response to making Claire louder. He's trying to silence Fred. I am red microphone. Black.

I want to say mauve. Oh, that's mauve for sure. Sort of a dark purple. Oh, there we go. Now we're going to get me, get me in there. Oh, I'm a lady. There we go. Jeremy now at a deafening Wizard of Oz volume.

now i like this you'll never go home i don't know what he says he says you'll never go i don't know you'll never be home alice no that's wonderland dorothy he's that guy he has the home and you visit his home yeah you remember from the thing i don't have to do the gold standard just try and get out he says anyway so this is constructing trad wives uh i thought this was a good space for the live show because it is absolutely horny but they do not

allow porn so all the all the censored images are like a beautiful necklace I can't it's blurred why is it blurred

oh yeah no shield your eyes it's an AI generated woman for sure what a constructive

trad wife Ben do you have an opinion on traditional versus modern relationships I love all

relationships I love love love love Wait, I have a question about this. Did Quora at one point allow porn? Oh, it's allowed. This one space does not allow it. They'll ban you.

But there's a lot of porn on Quora. A lot of questions like, if you had a penis, what would it look like? Sure. I think it'd look like this. We've seen a lot of porn on Quora. We'll try our best not to click it. I always opt to click.

Yes. Claire's big into clicking on the porn. We're not going to do it. It's not like a super safe live choice to make. But of course, this is just a very traditional wife here. Yes. I've highlighted some of their more relevant questions, but they had a lot of good ones.

I feel like we could really enjoy the space. This is a question from the space. Why should a wife make muckery of the husband? What is muckery? Yeah, it's like trad wife life. where you have to use old-timey words, too? Yeah. Like, muckery?

Yeah, you have to, like, have old-timey diseases and stuff like that. Everything's old-timey. Right. Muckery is like porn. You know it when you see it. So when someone says, you're making a muckery of this,

it means they're cumming all over you? I don't think that's what they mean. They're making muck. They're making muck. I don't think that's right. You're making a muckery of this court. No, I think it means jizzing. The first answer on this

is someone starting their answer by saying, I don't know what this means, Which is an awesome way to start answering a question And he's the owner and moderator Of the largest DD and Tradwives space So he should know Which is not this one Right? That's a different space

See I don't feel like it's safe to click on his space though I don't feel like it's safe Let's go He is the author of Priceless Gemstones The BDSM Erotica Series Let's click it Do we think when he says series

Book? TV? What are we thinking? Two books. One season of a British show? That's what they call it over there. It's a series of Twitch streams. It's very popular.

It has 10 million regular subscribers. If you click on that, you're going to regret it more than anything in your life. All right, I'm not going to click on it. Okay. I really want to. Don't do it. Okay, well, we agreed that you shouldn't, right? Make muckery of the husband?

You shouldn't make muckery of the husband. A husband is not to be made muckery of. we're all buried except for Ben Claire have you ever made muckery of your husband yeah all the time

well you shouldn't that's why I ain't no trad wife I'm a modern wife I'm wife.com that's a good type of wife to be

I think so I can't believe I got the the rights yeah no yeah you could sell that for a lot of money John Costley

Claire bought the URL to wife.com in 1985 okay here's another question from the same space how do you determine a spanking is over oh why does it keep jumping like that that's a great question

there's a community response on this I don't like this first answer spoiler for me I guess the answers are bad I was gonna say I can't read that fast but everyone's reacting

negatively it's a little harder for us to read and I'm like squinting but they know before us I zoned in on lost all her will to fight

I think that kind of summarizes it though that seems reasonable I feel like everyone reacted like when you watch a horror movie and you can't see the monster behind

the main character look out there's a right spanking behind you it's gonna just keep going yeah the comments do decide that it's kind of over when it's over

you know it's been a while for me so I couldn't really say the guy who answered this John Richardson says his professional bio says a caring and professional spanker listen to the experts

believe science but don't believe women Yeah, that's what he's saying. Does that mean that he is paid to do this? That's right. I bet he is, actually. His account has been deactivated.

Oh, well, he's too busy. I'm going to click it. He was fired in the doge cuts. He says, proud spanker, strict disciplinarian of women, parentheses girls. I don't like that. All right, he's gone. He's gone.

I don't like that. We should have looked at the porn. What are you talking about? Go back to the porn. Go back. Yeah, but these things, they can just go and go. Yeah. So trad wives don't get safe words.

No. I assume they do. I don't know how they did it traditionally. I'll make you a sandwich. Yeah, it's like a safe phrase. Right. It's an activation phrase. Fox trot.

It will turn you into a communist spy Yeah, I don't know Is it worth reading any of these? I do like how many answers there are First of all, elements must be consensual Thumbs up to that guy, I guess I'll give him an up vote Big clap

Big applause break in the room for that Wait, wait, wait Go down, go down, go down As a mom It's over when I see and hear true sorrow Okay, so this is the one mom being like, we're talking about disciplining kids, right? Yeah, she's lost.

And everyone else is like, my husband tells me when to stop. Although she does say that as a wife when my husband stops. Oh. Great. So you have to switch modes. All right, we're done with this. No crocodile tears.

Let's leave the trad wives, I think. Let's go on to core romance, our romance segment. Okay, now with love around the world, Romance is always on the table. I guess. It is. What is the button? I hit the wrong one.

All right, wait. Quickly, Ben, say stuff. I can't believe you do this live. I cut out a lot of this stuff on the regular episodes. There we go. It was so worth it. I don't know what that one did. Yeah, it's much quieter.

You're playing with fire You're playing with fire Why do I love Latinas? Ben? What's not to love, baby? Have you been to Latin America? I actually have never been to Latin America No, but my girlfriend is Uruguayan

So I'm qualified Oh, so you've sort of been to Uruguay Yeah, oh yeah So you've sort of been to Uruguay You could say that I mean, I'm as much of an expert As most of these people seem to be Well, this is the space beautiful Latina women stop by this space and enjoy beautiful Latina women.

So they seem like they actually do know what they're talking about. Really clear mission objective. There's a very long answer here from Vivian, Lady of the Lake. She's the one who gives Kate and Arthur the sword. She's qualified as I am a hamburger. I am a pizza and I am a hamburger, which we believe is I am a pizza's alt account. One of the many people we see who studied at the School of Hard Knocks.

Yeah, well, she's also a teacher and a writer, so she may teach there. Can I just say how weird it is for a lady of the lake to study at the School of Hard Knocks? Well, she has King Arthur's sword or whatever. You're landed aristocracy. What are you doing there?

There's no reason for you to be there. You live in a lake. Doesn't make any sense. She's sort of of the lake. She might have moved. Well, she says, I am in huge admiration of Latinas. Why?

It's their style and their vibe. As a woman who was brought up during the rise of feminism, it is always important to see how women in various cultures... This is AI, right? This is just an AI... Close guess, that's Vivian, Lady of the Lake. She has an AI picture. This is a question that I have,

because has Quora suffered the same thing that Facebook has suffered, where it's become just AI asking and then answering questions of other AI? Yeah. There's a lot of AI on court. Sometimes we'll find a question and we'll see that it's AI,

but it's a little frightening because a lot of times the questions are like, how could I kill a man? Yeah, the AI questions always have to do with how do I bury a body without friend finding out? Does anything stop steel? How quickly can my metal hands wrap around a throat? And we're like, who asked this?

Oh, it's the bot. It's the bot again. It's the robot he tricked us once again. It's actually not funny at all. It's actually very scary. That's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Look at those cheekbones. I ain't got no problem with that.

She's a writer. She's a writer, very common on this website. Survivor of childhood and life. So that's pretty cool. Same. She's in a bunch of spaces. She's in Daily Debunked. She's in The Psychology of Love.

And she's, of course, contributing to Beautiful Latino Women. Oh, martial arts. What else is she answering? About monkeys? She's answering all sorts of things. She's definitely an AI bot. I think because she's saying, she says, I don't know,

what should you do if you find a snake in your margarita? She says, don't drink it. What is a tequila worm? You don't know about tequila worms? I'm so glad you asked about that. You travel all over the world. You need to know about the worm.

I don't know. I don't know this. When everyone's yelling at you to eat the worm, What do you do? I've never experienced such a worm. There's a worm? There's a famous worm. Sometimes there's a worm in bottles of tequila.

You have to understand that Alex is an alcoholic. So he's sort of a world traveler of his own mind. The worm is my little friend. You have to meet the worm. He lives in the bottle. He lives in the orange bottle. Sometimes I think Alex is a tequila worm. He's saying that he doesn't mean it.

He thinks I'm a person. where's my mouse trying to find another question what would I like this question that she answered what would you do if I've shrunken down

to an ant and fell in your sock okay that's a good one now we cannot read this because it is hidden behind Quora Plus which we refuse to pay for

yet you don't have Quora Plus we won't do it once again we are the only Quora podcast with a Patreon we refuse to pay

we won't do it for the website that we make our livelihoods on, I guess. They don't give that to you? Does Quora like you? No. They don't know about us. I've emailed the CEO of Quora to be like,

we have a podcast that loves your website. Please come on our show. But he doesn't fall for it. Can I see what he looks like? Sure. Pull him up. I know this is not good for the podcast. CEO of Quora.

Go ahead and pull that up. Is it Adam something? Adam D'Angelo? Whoa. There he is. Dreamboat. I don't know what we're woeing about. He looks like ten guys in here.

He could be here. I don't know. He could be in the room this very instant. Wow. He looks at Williamsburg. He does look AI. He looks AI boy. He does love AI.

He's big into AI. I think he's on the board of, what's the, Open AI. Open AI, yeah. So he's out busy doing important fraud somewhere. He went on that other podcast. Look at that. Which one? This one?

That one. Shut up, Ben. That's different. You guys don't have the reach of Globis? We're not as good as Globis? Whatever. You don't even know about a tequila worm. Don't talk to me about no Globis.

All right. We have to do another question. Okay. I can't believe that's what he looks like. Here's another question. Nobody bring up Globis again. Wait. It looks like he has an Asian wife.

This is huge. This is huge for me. I wonder why he hasn't come on the show. Or maybe that's just a random Filipino lady. I really thought I found my people. I really feel like 90% chance it's true regardless of the picture. Yeah. Go ahead.

We have to read a second question. We're reading a second question. We have to at least cover two of the questions. This is still in core romance. The question is, women, how would you feel about dating a man who can't read or write? Ben, thoughts on this? Well, look, I was about to say that's a red flag, but I sort of, I think ahead to getting sort of canceled.

For saying it's bad to... I have the same thought. Sure, fair enough. And I can't have any opinions about anything. I think it's fine. You could teach her. Yeah. I feel like this is just like their way of tricking you

and asking like, how do you, is there a way to date a toddler? that's okay and Ben supports that you say hey hey look and Ben really likes that I gotta future proof my career here now if it is a red flag

you do not need to be literate to identify those so that would be okay there's a lot of like English as a second language answers to this I feel like that's not the context we're asking we're asking like a sexy caveman would you make love to a caveman

Tarzan or whatever. I don't think it's like they speak multiple languages but not the one you speak. That's completely different. He speaks 10 languages. Is it ethical to date a polyglot?

He's kind of a foreign genius. Views me as a bug. A sexy bug who lives in his jar. Again, back to the tequila worm. No one will open me. I love the way they worded was this worth

your time wait where do you see that that's what the computer is asking wait what the computer is asking if this answer

was worth our time the answer is from Gus F who lives in California he says deal breaker for a native English speaker but I have

dated and married women for whom English is their second language I'm a dutiful English teacher for them I'm getting bad vibes off that last one

Not worth my time Not worth our time Bye bye Gus Absolutely not We hate this guy I'm not going to click his profile Because often times I'll do that And then there'll be something sad on it

And we'll all feel bad for cheering against him But he is an engineer So now we're down voting practical altruism We're anti-engineering That's fine with me I thought that this website was for experts of stuff to... His just lives in California.

How is that anything? He knows the sea. He knows the breeze. Hollywood. Surf's up. Okay. I'm sold. In-and-out hamburger. Yeah, you could kind of write whatever. I mean, if you look

at our credentials, we have Texas travel agent, former, on the USS America parentheses, admiral, former 41-year-old woman and former daddy. Context, we don't know how to get rid of the former part. Former just isn't it.

I think every time you add a new one, you become former. It does add a lot of weird context we don't want. Because it makes it seem like we've had a strange life. But that's where we're at. Not to mention former daddy.

Very sad. They're all a little weird. I lost my son on the boat. It's Manning the Flak Cannon. I'm an admiral as well. I was trying to think of a way if daddy could have been a sex thing and then it's not as sad.

I lost my lover. I lost my twink on the boat. That feels even worse to me. Hit with a cannonball. How bad is your situation That the twigs are going overboard It was bad I just imagine they locked themselves in the bathroom on accident

I'm not thinking that far It's a classic naval incident Ben you ever been on a boat Yeah Do you like it This is good stuff Claire thank you No I'm serious We're getting rid of all the comments

60% of the people are here for Ben They want to know if he's been on a fucking boat. I'm with you. The answer's yes. Okay. Did he throw up? No, you can clap. It's fine. I think that deserves a five. Let's just get

it all out now. It's really cool. I didn't throw up. I caught a crab. Really? And a crab, you say. And that was from Daddy? Daddy? What happens on the boat stays on the boat.

Lord have mercy. Okay, wonderful. So we've done three of the ten questions. I'm very proud of us. Do you want to read any answers on this? Scroll down. I'm scrolling. I'm scrolling.

Danny says, I couldn't date a man who can't read or write. I would happily teach a man how to read or write, but I would not date an illiterate man. I got to be on Danny's side here. I think that she misspelled illiterate. All right. I take it back. She did say illiterate.

Illiterate. Oh. Anglo spotted Hold on Anglo spotted Do we think that's an Anglo? Is that Anglo? You're illiterate

Oh You can't read or write my poems I mean there's no evidence of it On her website Or her page Huh Stuff men have to deal with She looks like she's Sailor Moon or something

She's a contributor to stuff men have to deal with And stuff women have to deal with Which is very even handed of her Yeah that is actually cool as hell Just so we're on both sides of the issue It's a lot of stuff I feel like we're going to find something sad If we keep scrolling

We're leaving her be I couldn't date another illiterate man After losing my family It kind of feels like Remember back in the day Dust Bowl era A lot of guys were illiterate Because they had to work on the farms

That's how the worm got in the bottle That's basically how the worm got in the bottle which is how sort of all the babies were made. Because they had so much time. Circle of life. I missed the beginning of this, I think. I don't know. I had half of a beer.

I'm in the bag. Sort of forget I said anything. Just forget about that. There's an answer here from Ann Patrick who says, for me, intelligence is the biggest turn on in a man. Being well read and knowing how to process information. I don't mind if he has trouble spelling properly A lot of men have that issue

Even highly intelligent men I can't read or write You hold my attention for 60 seconds Tops But there are Women who would wrap themselves around you So it's no loss You probably wouldn't like me either

This woman must hate the circus Go on I feel like there's a lot of people doing amazing non-reading-based skills for long periods of time. I don't think that that's the implication of it. Oh, all of my clowns are philosophers. They can't read.

They do the trapeze as they flip through their almanac. All right, well, there's a comment that says wouldn't. That's enough of that. Do you want to move on to Quora? Wait, someone just said ask Melania. Yes. Some amused guy has taken down Donald. Hey, it's not that kind of show.

Do you want to do Quora MD? Yes, let's take it to medical expertise. The primary use of Quora here on Quora MD. Quora MD, won't you have a disease and fix it? this is a really good medical question about medicine is getting accidentally knocked out a big deal or can I shrug

it off and this is about love around the world it doesn't really match the theme as good but I really wanted to do it anyway do you see how it fights with me as I try to drag it up there what the hell what do you think do you have a concussion Alex

now I'm making this up you know it's why you say that I have not That is kind of crazy. It's just okay to make conversation, but no, I have not. I think I have, clearly. I definitely have. You don't know, though?

And there's nothing wrong with it, which is what the question's about. So you did shrug it off. I guess. Yeah. You tell me. I just tried to talk about the dust bowl for five minutes,

and I didn't know what I was talking about. Ben, concussions? Not to my knowledge. Okay, so we're all shrugging off these falls. Perfect brain. The silent killer. You wouldn't know if you've had one. Have you ever been knockout gamed in Paraguay?

This is not the basketball version. No, I have not. I think that if our show starts to take a dip, that's where we're headed. That would be a good Thug Me Out. It sounds like a really good video. I got knockout gamed. And it's you like, and then there's a fist.

Have you ever been sack-tapped in Somalia? No, but that is next season. Ball busted in Belize. This is all a Mountain Goats album. What was the last place you went? The last place we went was Korea. This is unrelated to the question. North?

No, not North. No, the South. That would be a good season. The Southern one. I hear North is the best one. Yeah, the North has a lot going on. The South, well, it was very exciting because the president was on trial when we were there.

For what? Knockout game. He did some shit. What did you say, Alex? Knockout game. Yeah, he did knockout game. But yeah, it was great. It was great.

Damn. Cool. I'm obsessed with the idea of the president being like, I'm the president of South Korea and I'm going to knock out this guy at the stoplight. My whole crew's going to love it. Everyone who doesn't know, the knockout game was what?

A lie that the news said that kids were going around punching people in the face? In the back of the head to knock them out in one punch. In like what? The late 90s? 2011? I don't know. It was 1942. The world was at war with teens.

But on the home front. I feel like every 10 years there is some sort of game going around where someone gets hit in the head or pantsed violently. Two equally bad things. Anyway, let's read these genuine responses to this. Okay, alright. Let me go to answers

because you have to press answers first. It's a great website. That's how good the website is. I know we're all dying to give it money, but... There's five answers. Howard Schwartz says, it's a big deal if you're knocked out by your three-year-old daughter when she accidentally hits you in the head with

a punch. Hard to shrug that off and you probably shouldn't. That's true. Did this happen to Howard? It sounds like it happened to Howard. He's a long-time Schwartz fan, but he's also a political thinker and truth teller. Click that profile.

That's such a long bio. Yeah. Here we go now. And he's ideologically conservative. Paragraph five. Regarding race. Why don't you get to Quora.com to write your manifesto? Alright. Is it bad? Oh, it's really

bad. It's really bad. I'm like squinting to read the worst thing I've ever seen. I don't even want to read any of it. There's simply no time. I don't want to read his answer about Shaquille O'Neal either, actually. Wait, I kind of want to read the answer to that question.

Should we read it? I just want to read this TV show host's one. What do you want me to read? This first one. What other TV show host could you picture starring alongside Ernie Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, Charles Barkley, and Kenny the Jet Smith inside the NBA?

I just want people to get an idea of why everybody's owing. Who knows who they might hire, but you have to think the pick will be female, a black female. Make a lesbian, and you've hit the DEI jackpot. Wow. Let's face it, the NBA and WNBA came into the more liberal among us, and that pick has reflected. Damn. I'm always making people lesbian. I mean...

Make her lesbian. If you want to host along Kenny the Jet Smith, you got him Alright, well great I'm glad that we saw his awful page People who are audio only listeners of this podcast, which is most of them It was bad

I'm not going to repeat it Basketballs change But also remember he was hit in the head By a child We just have to keep that in mind Just another truth. Leonard Roberts says,

it would be a good idea to get yourself checked out. Brain injuries can be tricky. Okay, can someone want to pick up their old-timey phone? I don't even know if that's in this room. Is that not in this room? That's the mayor's office. That's actually the phone to get 1960s Batman on the line. Former self-employed book reader.

That's as good as it gets. I'm telling you, that former is hard to get rid of. On the medical subreddit, that's as good as they can get. To be fair, this isn't the medical section. It's our medical section of our show. I can't keep up with this. You can't possibly.

This show is very confusing. It is weird. I don't know what you mean. These other people are saying you should see a doctor unless your three-year-old knocked you out. Yeah, I think everyone's just saying you should. Although this guy,

great answer here from Dwight Woods. It's entirely up to you. Do you care? Are there medical side effects, for example? You might want to consult a medical expert since losing consciousness can be a big deal. Have you considered being cool? I don't know.

Is it bad? Why are you answering? This guy has a long one. It's amazing how many answers on Quora are ask someone else when you are the one who decided to answer. This guy has two podcasts. Yo!

Pretty cool. I wish it was me. You can only have one Yeah, okay Next question It's split, so the answer's split We don't know the answer, unfortunately It's either yes or no

Next question Here's another medical question That really canceled itself out This one appears to have no answers on it Surgery, colon If you killed your penis and testicles By having them repeatedly tortured Would a doctor then surgically remove them?

Ask the room, yes or no No, I mean no answers yet We gotta cover this What does this mean? Do you care? Now I do feel like I do feel like we have an obligation To answer this question as a room

On account of there are none And we are a Texas travel agent If you killed your penis If you choked your penis to death Repeatedly Repeatedly, torture style Torture style It's like hostile for your penis

If you took a toothpick and kept Claire Wait you did it? I'm a little stinker Have you ever seen like the thumbtanic movies Where all the characters are thumbs Those make me kind of want to throw up But you know what they are

All the people are thumbs Do you guys know about thumbtanic? I like the movie where everyone's a thumb makes you throw up but you're so excited to do the all poop episode of Quarators. Poop is natural. It's perfectly natural. Faces on thumbs are not. That is true.

I'm going to go to the question log. See, Quora Topic Bot was doing a little bit of editing here and added the word surgery. This was the robot set. This is too confusing. We need the word surgery. Also, there was an answer that was deleted. What could that have been?

This is the question and answer. Jonathan Gaze. He's a cool dude. I'm a cool dude. Oh, he's been banned. He has been banned. We don't know why. We don't know what he did.

Banned for being cool. He does live in Las Vegas and work at Blockbuster, which I don't know he does. No, you don't. You fucking liar. Not anymore. I'm calling in from 1998. What is the point of a smart watch

when it doesn't even do half the things a cell phone can do? I think it does exactly half the thing. He's getting too close to the truth. Anyway, to finish my fucking thumb-tanic thought for five seconds. Please, please do it. Even though it's so hard for me to do. In the movie Thumb-Tanic, all the people are thumbs.

So the idea, just to wrap your mind around it, is could your penis movie, if the movie saw was just all little guys who are penises and they're repeatedly tortured, would then a doctor take them out? What? Thank you. All the guys are little penises.

They have faces and lives until they are ended by jigsaw. Who is a penis? In himself. And he rides a little tricycle with his balls. It just works. It just works. It's a formula that works.

And the question is, do they take them off after that? I think yes. Ben, have you ever seen a penis in another country? wait that's actually a good question the answer is yes nice

the answer is yes yeah great we don't want you to elaborate okay yeah well me and Claire

both give them the mic it's like a press scrum yeah you slide a little NBC thing on it have you seen the penis have you seen this penis should we answer this

yes or no what do we think how about this we'll cheer for each who thinks we should say yes and who thinks we should say no. I think it's yes.

The yeses have it. The yeses win once again. And then I'm going to add a credential. Oh, yeah. Penis surgeon. Dick doctor. This is going to take a minute.

Yeah, how long is it allowed to be? I can't get the second parenthesis in there, but I'm writing a movie about where everyone is a penis. Saw.

Saving that Former writing a movie That's not what we said It's not what we put But I'm posting it We must move on Great We've spent too much time here

Okay Quick question and this is a great one for Ben Where can I get cyanide In Thailand Love around the world Sort of a romance And now this does have a picture of cyanide But that is not the question

That's a related question So it disappears if we go to questions There's one answer here Sorry, that's not an answer either There's one answer and then there's 16 collapsed under needs improvement Yeah, do better We'll see if it loads The computer can't even load them all

Yeah, answers that need improvement This one has an email I don't know what that's about Where can I get cyanide in Thailand? You been to Thailand? No. No, never. You gotta go.

But I can speculate. Wait. Sorry, I'm just reading this answer. I'm a biologist who has used potassium cyanide to kill jars to collect bugs. Cyanide kill jars. One word. To collect bugs. Okay.

Cyanide kill jars. To me, it smells what I can only describe as pungently sweet. This is not the question. Yeah, this is what I love is it's like an in-depth answer with someone who has experience with cyanide and it's just,

they answered what does cyanide smell like? It's a completely different, unrelated thing. You do not live in Thailand. So we do not care for your answer. I need it now.

Amy. Where are you getting these jars? Why are they? I'm looking to kill someone on taquora.com. See, this would be a classic like this could be the robot, but it's not.

This is not the robot. I like all the questions that are clues to a crime. It's so hard to find the fucking question asker on this website. You gotta scroll. Can you get, like,

where do you get cyanide here? Can you get it here? Do they have it at the gutter? We don't have a bartender, so no cyanide. I hate when you go to CVS and they make you unlock the cyanide.

So annoying. Hey, so wherever does someone come and, hey, what do you want? Cyanide. No, not that one. This is the only way to find the fucking question asker on this stupid fucking website.

that we've dedicated our lives to. For the audio listener, Jeremy is scrolling down. I don't think I'm going to get there. There's too many answers, which I didn't see when we were there. Also, a lot of them have been deleted. We're deleted thousands of answers. Well, if you read it, you would know where to get cyanide. Right. Maybe that's what it is.

Anonymous. Great. It's a system that works. Great. I'm glad we got there. Oh, my God. I can't stop thinking about these kill jars. What is their job? You put the worm in the kill jar. Then you move it to the tequila bottle.

It's crazy what science entails. My sister, she's like a pre-med student. And right now, her job, her little side gig, is she has to shoot mice with a laser that gives them cancer. And then she has to pull their tail so hard that their spine comes out so that they die. And she just does that all day. Your sister sounds like a bad guy

No, no, it's good She assures me that it's good Oh, Ben, it's so funny You gotta see it It sounds bad, but it's so good Does she, like I'm way bigger than these fuckers Is she enemies with anyone who's, like

In the British Secret Service? I can't answer You saw his list of questions not to ask, Jeremy. Leave MI5 out of this. I don't know what's going on with the answers in this. It's a lot of people trying to sell drugs. Yeah, you got to go on. Specifically weed, right?

It's a lot of cannabis. Email me to get cannabis or whatever. And despite what the government says, weed is not cyanide. Buy potassium cyanide. Hashtag cyanided. Damn, that sounds sick. I got death by cyanide. We love to cheer for it.

Okay, we must go on to parenting. Quarantining. There's a website where you can buy the Black Plague and a whole bunch of other. You can buy any disease you want. We did a video about it once. It's very interesting. You should not buy the Black Plague.

But you could. Don't do it. You shouldn't do it. It's not on Quora. It's an Italian's worst nightmare. Mice also don't like the black plate No they don't They're always getting it

They have so many issues Mice? Yeah I've had mice They get shot with cancer guns I'm more worried about the end of their spines The spine snap is really where you got me I don't even know why you bother at that point I think the spine thing is for their good

Well that makes it better Also I'm like Oh they have a laser that gives you cancer There's like, I eat from a microwave, so I don't know. Yeah, that's true. It's basically the same thing. I'm at the gutter right now. Well, you can get the spine procedure anytime.

I would love to have it. I hear it's for my benefit. Get spineded. As a guy who keeps his phone on his penis, it sounds fine. This next section is for parents. Okay, this is quereting. And if you're not putting your phone on your penis, rethink your life.

I'm tired. Wait, Claire, this question is for you. Okay, this is a normal question about parenting. Okay, for me. If a cuck husband is raising a bull child, then is it fair for the children that they cannot live with their real father? I mean, every children wants to live

with his slash her own dad and mom together. I know I was sired by a bull. if a cuck husband is raising a bull child then is it you know it's good when it's like a riddle then how many cucks

the bull is the mother the bull is a woman this is our favorite riddle Alex it's the only riddle I know I just like the last I like the last part I mean every children want to live with

her own dad and mom together that's true a cuck husband is raising a bull What makes a child a bull? It's the child of a bull. Child of a bull? That's the name of my memoir. Child of a bull.

It's so poetic for some reason. I don't do this shit, so I don't know. That's my answer. Ben, what's your thoughts on this? Cuck husband or bull child? Go. You'd have to meet the bull, right? But if you meet the bull, you will get the horns.

Yeah, yeah. Damn. Woo! Wait, one more time. What are you doing? Alex did not know what was happening. Okay, well, let's read the answer from Thunder God, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, great. This is top answer here from Thunder God three years ago. Forget the cuckold scenario. Every child deserves a father figure. There's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, no one thought there was something wrong with that. There's too many fathers in the question. The only things that matter is you and your loves for the child.

If a child grow up with full of his parents' love, supports and guidance, who needs biological father? I know some people would say, don't drag your child into parents' kinks. I mean, this is different. Even if not your child, it is your wife's child. Your wife, your love wife, don't you? And I know you'll loves her babies. Yes. Kids are colorless.

They reflect what their parents painting. Forcing kids to like your kinks would never be okay. Make sure your kids grow up with full of your love and support. When he grows old enough, you can let them know. Explain them properly about love and kinks. He'll understand. I'm a cuck father. That's beautiful.

And you can tell that that's not written by A.R. There's a person behind that one for sure. There's a soul behind that A god A thunder god This answer's got too much hot This is either Thor or Raiden A lot of cut questions

Scroll down Oh, sorry, let me go back to thunder god Back to thunder god Is thunder god only answering cut questions? Yeah, of course Thunder god I will say, the screen is fine over here But ours is slightly off

And I'm trying to guess what he's saying What was the most exciting No, don't fix it, Mike We don't want to know Oh no What was the most exciting Thrilling Humiliating

Or outrageous Cuckolding thing Your cuckolding partner Ever subjected you to Cuckolding Cuckolding Cuckolding Thunder God says

First time we decided To get her another lover Not just a bull Someone she can Romantically involved with It's the most outrageous Thing we've ever done Now we're in poly RS

That's nice Wait wait wait wait Thunder God is the cuck Yes Yes Yeah Very bull coded name Thunder God

You should be Loki Trickster God. It's very misleading. Stupid. I mean, Loki's kind of bullish. Yeah, he could be. He's a trickster. He could do the Zeus thing where he's a swan, but then he's a guy.

Oh, I thought I was having sex with a swan. I thought I was just having normal swan sex. And it turned out to be Zeus again. Can't do anything at the lake anymore. There's a lady there and everything. Vivian is that you so he's only answering cuckold questions

it's good to give your experience he's comparing cuckolding to skydiving I can see that what's it like to be a cuckold do you ever feel jealousy I feel jealousy all the time what is like to be a cuckold is imagine thrill seeking activities such as skydiving

searching cave exploration those activities can make most of the people like nope I'll never do that things But there are also many people who love those activities. The sense of thrill, danger, adrenaline, pumped feeling make them hooked to those activities. So he's basically just Alex Honnold for having someone else have sex with his girlfriend.

Never get cucked without a parachute. All right, well, good for Thunder God. He's got a cool name. I think cucks are kind of cool. I think he's very insightful. He seems like a nice guy. We're following Thunder God. So we agree the answer is that the cuck father gets the child.

Yeah, I think so. As a room, that's what we decided. Sorry, bulls. Sorry, bulls. It's a show of solutions. Now, we do have to read from the bull's perspective. And this is from, I assume, a bull anonymous who says, the main purpose of cuck husband is to just pay bills and pay maintenance support for child only.

The child will not accept him as father. Cuck old husband means a worthless man who is good for nothing. so okay two sides to every story but cuckolds like that they like that

he's talking about that thunder god's going thumbs up we're just in the middle of like a sexual interaction here yes that's right

very often people are writing their own sort of erotic thrillers in their answers of course and then man of the house says another person

is spreading bull crap so spreading bull which is what we call crap from a damn bull I feel like there can be no beef

between cucks and bulls because they cannot exist without each other symbiosis symbiotic relationship what is the cuck without the bull but isn't the implicit beef the whole thing yes we're getting to the bottom of this

that's beautiful do you want to read another question let's move on to Corbinded Fruit our religion segment I'm going to close some of these damn tabs I don't like this one. I don't like this one, Alex. All right.

The question is, this is very topical. Does the Black Pope control Rome? Oh. Why does it do this to me? Now I have not been to Rome. But they have to vote on this, right? There is a Black Pope potential.

Yeah, yeah, the black pope might be about to control Rome. I've been really... I think it's his name. Yeah, like... You're deep in the conclave? The papal elections, and everyone should be tapped in. Everyone should be tapped in. We all need to make our voices heard.

If you're in line, stay in line. I like the guy, Tegel from the Philippines. Right. He's a strong contender. Big clap for him. Big one clap for Tegel. Filipinos are like number one Jesus lovers. I'm realizing this is not about black people

reading the answer. It has nothing to do with the Pope being black. There's something about a black order. There's a black order of Pope. We don't know about that. We just read the question and put it in a doc. Okay. We also don't know that the question asker

doesn't mean a black Pope because it could be whatever. I assume that it's a Quora. It could be any kind of way you want. This is a 50-year-old MAGA guy. It's a yes or no. We could find out exactly who it is, I guess. I could go to question log.

All right, this is going to be a no-20. And start scrolling. Just kidding. It's James Daniel Garza. Woo! Hot Rod. He's a world traveler, too. All right, so James is buying a very flashy car

and a cool Freddy Krueger sweater. He's got cool questions like, as of 2024, what is Pete Best up to? That's a really good question. A lot of Beatles stuff, actually. A lot of Pete Best stuff. Wait, go down a little bit? Kind of on a kick for Pete Best, the fifth Beatle.

Hey, if traveling across Europe, What cities or places would you visit, question mark? Ben? That's very hard. I liked Oslo. I was just in Oslo. Oh, sure. Norway?

Shout out to Norway. Yeah, they rock. They're very nice there, and they're all alcoholics. Cool. They've got the nicest alcoholics. Yeah. That's great. I love that.

Alex, you should move there. I got to go. I got to go most places around the world, if that's the criteria. There's a lot of places for me to be. Anywhere someone has drinks, check it out. Okay. Do they have any sort of worms in their alcohol in Norway? I don't know.

Worms cannot survive up there. Yeah. It is far too cold. You'd need a snow worm. Makes you laugh, doesn't it? Just thinking about it. It really does. It's ridiculous.

Now tell me about the Black Pope. Back to the Black Pope. Great answer here from Rosina who says, who, pray tell, might the Black Pope, who might be the Black Pope? Why has nobody heard of him? Is it just the figment of some idle mind's imagination? Okay.

Click on Rosina. She lives in New York. Ethered on Quora. I feel like we're not going to get much juice out of this question. She's a practicing attorney. Move on. Do you want to do one more question?

Yes. Do you have a favorite one, Alex? Okay, I will pick my favorite one. Yeah. Good idea. Here I go. Yes. Is it not this one?

No, it is this one. This is the most world-traveling question. Okay. What segment are we in here? I feel like I'm such a bad world traveler for having been advertised as a world traveler. Every time you guys have asked me if I've been anywhere, I said no.

Except for a boat. You went on a boat? I went on a boat. But what country was the boat? That was exciting. Everyone cheered. That was in New Jersey. Son of a bitch.

They can never take that from you. No. Okay, this is a question. What improvised pocket-sized weapon is easy to make and can be taken everywhere when you trek across the streets of downtown Denver? Oh. Now, Ben, I do have a question for you. Have you been to Denver?

I have been to Denver many times. Yeah. I've regretted it every time. Me, too. I hate Denver. Claire's on the record not liking Denver. It makes my head hurt. They got too much knife stuff going on over there.

They really do. Knife? Ooh. A roll of coins and a fist can be a good start. Oh, this is in Street Survival. One of our favorites. Learn how to be safe and prepared no matter where you are in any city or slum.

But not suburb. This reminds me, when I was in middle school, we had a self-defense instructor come in and she put out a challenge to us. She was like, bring in any object and I'll show you how you can use it to disable anyone. and like everyone just brought

like everyone just had a pen because we just that's what we had and she just so for just like 45 minutes she was just

stabbing a box with pens did she do like the joker thing yeah did she make it disappear and that would

lay in the box onto the pen yeah she was very violent and if she couldn't figure out how to stab something with it she was just like

rub it in their eyes I was about to say what if all you got is a bag of hot cheetos I brought a blade of grass and she said rub it in her eyes

yeah that's smart did she ever blow the ink did she use the ink at all no no she blowed the ink

that's smart she just taught us how to stab she was crazy she brought in her husband she was like I'm gonna have him

walk around the school with a knife and we're gonna see if anybody notices him cool and nobody did I heard a lot of you saying I couldn't

get a husband well he's in the hallway with a knife now I want to hear this full answer from Guy Kurtz read it

I'm sorry okay read it okay so the answer is you know something pocket sized you can sneak around Denver a roll of coins

in the fist can be a good start as far as I know there is no law against having a roll of quarters so true Guy Kurtz

if a cop asks tell them you are a stingy tipper or that you love old fashioned pinball machines He's getting pulled over by a cop.

He's like, why do you have those quarters? I love pinball. I'm a stingy tipper. I'm never going to hit someone. Stingy tippers are insane. It's like I flick quarters at the waiter every time I eat. Maybe a paracord necklace with a stout object tied to it. If you have a girlfriend, maybe make one with a nut

and yours with a matching boat. Well, that's really nice. That's like a cute craft. That's romantic. pick. That has nothing to do with street survival, but it is cute. It's again, if a cop asks, hey, why do you have a stout necklace with a

nut in it? Bring around a knife with you. And also, you and your girlfriend can make a heart with your hands. I feel like the nut bolt thing is like sexual. I feel like it's like a sexual thing. Get your head up better. You're a sicko. Okay, anyway. Back to the answer. Maybe get a keychain

and tweak a few unused keys with a file. No cop is going to follow you and make you open every lock you have a key for. What? This is the most paranoid guy I've ever heard of. Who has the time?

Get some decent shoes, not those nasty plastic pieces of crap. It's like he's looking at my shoes while he does it. If you don't have foot problems, a stout pair of steel-toed shoes can wreak havoc. Thank God.

Wear a belt with a hefty buckle end of paragraph. If you can get a small section of number 50 or number 60 chain and clean the grease off and make a bracelet with it. Okay, that's the most practical answer. Buy a metal pen. Not a tactical pen.

Too obvious. What does he think is going to happen? What's a tactical pen? Well, don't worry about it. It's too obvious. Is it like a NASA pen? I think this was like a thing. You remember when Think Geek was big?

and they were like I was like 11 and they were trying to sell me a pen that you like had a knife on it and I was like I need that

yeah I think it's the one with the lady with the hula skirt where if you turn it upside down you see her poonana

oh yeah and you rotate the skirt and it shoots yeah and that's tactical yeah that's what they use in the army

yeah I bet they did just in Hawaii anyway back to the question just good metal pen and maybe hedge you bet on this and get a small pad of paper and write some

things like grocery list or some addresses. A plastic pen or pencil can be used but they break easier. Great. Upvote for you, sir. Big upvote for you. There are some comments on this. Fantastic answer. People are basically into it. That's Luigi. Okay, wait, wait.

I have to drop in here. A rolled up newspaper or magazine is in the comments. That's not going to work. That's really good if like a bad dog is nearby. Are you the android and alien? You're going to jam it in someone's mouth until they die? What are you talking about? You can't kill someone with a newspaper.

You can read them the headlines. Get a whiff of this. Be like Riddick. Be like Riddick. Use a teacup. Does he do that in that movie? The famous Riddick teacup scene. When he's having tea on that starship.

That is what I'm going to. I don't know if there's another Riddick who's far more popular. There certainly isn't. Okay, good. Have you guys ever had a weapon on you? No. Every day of my life. I have a gun right now. A weapon pulled on me?

No, just like you're like, oh, I'm going to just have a knife now. Are you? I did. For a while. You want to talk about it? One time I had sex with a knife guy. Like they flip around? Yeah, like a guy

who I didn't find out until that he had a whole bag of knives until after we had sex. Those don't count as weapons, though. Those are like, for show. I often don't show women my bag of knives until after sex. Can I ask, bag of knives,

more or less likely to have sex if you found out about it first? That's a really hard question to answer. Especially in my mindset at that time. It's sort of complicated. But then I was like, maybe I should just have a knife, because knives were kind of cool. Shea, he's got a bag.

He's got a bunch. He's not going to miss it. I could have one knife. And then I sort of lost it. Could have been used in a crime. Wow. Cool. Get some steel-toed boots.

No, no. There's one other answer here. I want to see what it says. Oh, there's actually four. Jesus. Go to the hardware store. People love answering self-defense questions. This key thing is really interesting.

Sometimes I'll walk late at night. I'll walk with a key between the two fingers. Be careful or a cop will make you go and open a bunch of stuff. Show me that door. ACAB. Cops are always doing that. It would be better if they were.

Jesus. No, I don't mean if they were like bothering people for having keys instead of like murdering people for no reason. Did you read this answer? Jeremy, you missed Tom Edwards. So we were just all reading Quora. Sorry.

Just a one-time joke. Get out of the arm of a passed out junkie downtown and fill it with bleep? You could just get a syringe at the store as well. That's so twisted. You don't have to apprehend one. And he knows about baseball. Oh.

Cool. Well, I think it's around time to wrap this up. We've got to do one last segment, though. We certainly do. Now, we have started a call-in segment. We have a very special example today. Wait, wait, wait. I want to press a button.

Okay, you can press the button. Which button? This is our call-in segment. It's called Is That Okay? Please hit the pink button. is that okay wow really good job thank you that was pretty cool huh really this is a question will this work great i'm pulling it over oh i hate this fucking please where's my mouse or you might just hear it

there's and not see it and that would be okay if it really comes to that why does it not want to be here. Can't you just play it? You might just have to hit it, brother. You might just have to fire that away. Now it's gone. It's gone? Who cares? We'll listen to it.

Imagine you're seeing the world famous Tase on Day with a really cool golden cap. Well, who cares? Can this be heard? Oh, nope. Pretend you're seeing and hearing. Hold on.

Everyone close their eyes. Imagine you will. There's a long intro here. Hey, everybody. Okay. Well, I don't know how best to salvage this situation, but... Oh.

The question is, if you could be a flavor of rain, what could it be? It's Tay Zonday. It's Tay Zonday. Everyone's going to believe us. That's pretty cool. He did a really good job, and you can't see it, but we can see it, and it's so cool. Holy shit, is that Tay Zonday? You can use that.

Yeah. Clip it in. Remember Chocolate Rain? Yeah. Chocolate Rain. I remember that. That ruined my whole idea. Did you guys know that Tay Zonday is mega woke?

Is he? Yeah. What? Yeah. The guy who had a viral song about race. My friend makes video, like communist

propaganda videos on YouTube and Tay Zonday is always in his comments like, I agree with this. Love that. Tay, I will follow you wherever you are. Pick up arms. That's it.

That's the whole Tay Zonday impression. You have nothing to lose but your chains. so wait what flavor yeah honestly gotta go chocolate I was gonna say chocolate as well

you know I don't I don't like that I mean I think technically vanilla rain vanilla rain if we're sort of well we're we're thinking in the

three flavors zone but we you could do any flavor strawberry any flavor sort of like a rocky road rocky road

I just feel like we're missing his his racial message I'm missing his entire message because it will not Show or play. It helps a lot if you can see his cool hat.

It is really. It looks like it's made of solid gold. It's awesome. You guys are missing out. Yeah, and that's unfortunately the end of the show. Wow. Wait, wait. There he is.

Yeah. Would you pick? That's the question. and good luck in your answers. It's really smooth and charismatic. Gotta imagine.

This keeps going. I would just like to add Swag and suave. Tay Zonday does the thing everyone who writes into our show does which is leave ask a five second question

with 25 seconds of some other stuff. They just put in so I have to hear it. Did he write in, or did you buy that? No, we paid him $40. What do you think, Tay, is my friend? Because that's coming from Cameo.

That was $40? Yeah. We have nothing now. That's money out of your baby's mouth, Alex. She's just going to blow it on worse Cameos. Folks, that's been the show. Okay, great. Yeah.

Thanks so much for coming out. We'll see you on the internet. Thank you. Thank you, Ben. One more time for Ben Doyle! We're doing another one of these in June at Union Hall, and we'll probably do more here eventually. So come to it.

Look us up. Listen to the podcast. Bye-bye!