Quorators - Love Games w/ Kenice Mobley

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: How do I play love game? What do I do if a strong looking guy came up to my wife and said that he wants to motorboat her and she found it funny? Why don't the people on dating apps want to meet, they just want to chat? Are they fake, or are they scared? --- Watch Kenice's stand up on onlyfans dot com. The app for laughs! Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

don't touch that dial you're back on the quaraders podcast america's premier quora based podcast with alex and jeremy and sometimes claire yeah claire's busy today so we're she's uh She's on break, but she misses you. Pretend she's here. And she asked about you recently. True. But we have a very exciting guest here in the studio today. This is a regular.

We have a comedian from New York City. The Big Apple, all the way down the lane, down the Great White Way. That's Broadway, of course. And that is, of course, comedian Kanice Mobley. Kanice? Hello. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for coming over.

I'm not anywhere near the Great White Way. No? Have you ever danced before, Kanice? In my life? You ever thought about seeing your name up in lights? Like in the musical Chicago? Yeah, exactly like that. Oh, okay.

Exactly like the musical Chicago. Well, I saw the movie Chicago when I was younger, and I did relate to that. I thought that was cool. Okay. But I live in Brooklyn. Yeah, sure. Not Chicago.

Yeah. I made a better choice, and I live... It's somewhat of a cold burn on Chicago at the start of the episode. They can deal with it. They deal with a lot of other things. Why don't you put another chip on your chili dog and swallow your feelings? The fact that they just pile a bunch of shit onto hot dogs and are like, no, this is a Chicago dog, and you can't possibly eat it

when it's piled with all that stuff. That doesn't make any sense to me. Bite for bite, the ratios are off. No one could eat that. Sorry. That's what they do out there is they take things and they deep dish them. Well, not us. good thank you and thank you for accepting my rant about Chicago yeah of course I'm not from

Chicago I feel like you said that like I'm from there and frankly I did like it a lot all the times I went but that's visiting that doesn't count yeah it doesn't it doesn't no I wasn't ever there and like actually the one the first time I went to do like some shows we were just like in a apartment that didn't have heat on and I had to like go put on like extra layers to fall asleep because it was very chilly this is the something I'm pioneering right now is that Chicago gets quite cold in the winter. Wow. Yeah.

I don't care what the media says. And it's windy. Yeah, from all the politicians and so forth. Claire wouldn't let me say this stuff, but I'm going to say it. She'd put the X-Nay on this? Yeah. She'd shut you down. She's with all these fat cats all the time.

You know how it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well. Claire O'Kane is a billionaire. It wouldn't surprise me. Yeah. Somebody's a billionaire. She invented the cheese wheel.

i was like wait a sec there's a is there a wheel specifically for cheese or you're simply referring to that cheese is often in wheel shape okay wheel shaped cheese yeah but before that it was like perfect circles and then claire was like no let's cut the bottom and the top off and boom yeah yeah she said she said i'm seeing a whole lot of money in a circle of cheese but kanice this is a quora based show have you ever been on quora i have because i look up answers to things you know what do you think um a lot of times it is not relevant to my specific query um but i do like there's a meme of a quora question and it's how to afford or how to deal with like trying to live life now and uh step one pass away it is the meme and i deeply relate to

that or uh this it's this is like before the ai uh engines on all of the search engines so like when you google like how do i uh put cheese on pizza it says put glue on it oh no like before the intentionally wrong answers provide you this is just i guess that's what's beautiful about the website is it's human generated wrong answers yes they do have a lot of ai support built into the thing as you will probably we may run into that today sometimes we go to do a question and we find out we've been tricked by a robot and it's no one ever asked that, but I pray that doesn't happen this week

and especially this week because we are talking about human love and relationships. Wow. Uh-huh, honey. Now, can I use, remember that sound? I do remember that sound. From eight years ago? Yep. It's still in there. I like

downloaded that maybe one year after that song came out and I've been spamming it at comedy shows non-stop ever since. Do people still get it? I have never slowed down. No. Okay. It sounds good.

Yeah. That's why Kanye put it in there. And he's done nothing wrong since then. Nothing. He seems like a totally normal, chill dude. No one would think he's a sex criminal of any kind. He didn't do sex crimes, did he? Probably.

I couldn't say, but there... That's like the one thing he's not in trouble for. Well, it's kind of... No, he's kind of wrapped up in this diddy case a little bit. Oh, sure. Anyway, we're not talking about that today. We're talking about love and relationships. He's done it all.

He's a renaissance man of crime. My point is he found that great sound. Anyway, the episode is Love Games. Yeah, this week is Love Games. So we're going to explore the world of love. Now, as I was saying, you had a relationships podcast before. Yes, I had Love About Town, a sex, dating, and relationship podcast with my best friend, Rohan Padhyay,

and we would talk about dating and relationships from the perspective of two people who were bad at it, hadn't done it much. Yeah, shout out Rohan Padgett, shout out podcasts, shout out listening to podcasts. Yeah, let's do it. Were there any through lines in that show that surprised you in terms of the kind of relationships people have?

Because Jeremy, I don't know if you know this, Jeremy and I both married our girlfriends from high school. That's right. What? We did no dating at all. We did one and then beat it. You guys never did apps or anything? No.

Can you say I have a body count of one? The way the world stopped. I said that at a stand-up show recently and someone gasped. And I felt so ashamed. I mean, you shouldn't feel ashamed. It was so funny. You should do that. I thought it was a funny joke and it usually does well.

And then that time the guy gasped and I was like, maybe I'm wrong. I know you and I know you have a wife that you met in high school. and I know you're Jewish and I still expected you to say his name is Jesus Christ. I've got one body count. That's the kind of delivery that lies. And it's a wafer.

Wait, are you from New York City? I'm from Long Island. You're from Long Island. Okay, so that makes more sense that both of you would have moved here. Sure. Versus like, where are you from? I'm from Massachusetts.

Wait, what part? Don't crowd work me. I'm from Needham. Okay, I lived in Boston for a long time, is why I ask. But you both, like, you met in high school, and you both were like, let's go to New York City? Well, I moved here for college, and then I defeated her by her leaving her college

and moving to my college. That was a defeat of her. Yes, an incredible victory. Alice is an NYU boy. And look where he is now. An NYU boy? And now in Jeremy's house. Shouldn't he be so much more famous?

You ever talk to someone from NYU, you're like, Timothy Chalamet, Alex Patel. See, you just don't know the cool guys I know who are all at Jeremy's house. That's where the magic happens. That's right. And what is love but a form of magic itself? A shared delusion between two people.

Yeah, sure. Hopefully not delusion, but like a shared mental state that they're both experiencing that isn't totally observable to the outside eye. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, I totally derailed my own question. Was there anything on the podcast that stuck out as, like, a thing about love or relationships

that people probably don't know about? The people who are in relationships and have been for a long time, no offense. No offense. I hear you're happily married. They're not the best people to go to for advice in modern dating. They'd be like, I don't know, put yourself out there.

And I'd be like, I don't know. I wouldn't say that. I'm kind of out there. I live out there, so I don't know if I need to. You should be taller. Yeah. I'll say that to people. I mean, that honestly, probably, it would help me in my life.

You could be at least twice as tall. I mean, humanly, I would, I think, break some records at twice as tall. You could be pretty good, though, right? The stand-up joke that the guy gassed at was basically what you're saying, which is that everything I know about dating is how to hook up with a 16-year-old in 2010, which is like, it doesn't help. Problematic. It's good that that's not helping you today.

Don't ask me for advice. Leave me alone. Okay, yep. Knowing about Radiohead is how you got... Is that how you started dating your wife, Alex? I mean, I didn't know about Radiohead, but if I had to give advice to myself, I feel like that would have even increased my appeal. Wow. What do you think your appeal was?

Your appeal? Either of your appeals. So high off the ground. They met you when you were like probably at your, not worst, but like close to it. Well, they were also children. Oh, they were also at their worst. So they're making bad decisions. Okay, so I need to find, because I'm not at my worst.

This is why people try to date children. That's the line you're going down. Is that your worst? Is being a child your worst? I mean, it's just like when you don't know anything and you have bad opinions and you're not emotionally mature. Yeah, easily impressed. For me, emotionally, my worst was high school, college. And now I feel so much better.

Oh, okay. I feel like I got worse in college. Do you? Yeah, I was nothing but trouble. What were you doing? I don't want to talk about that. So instead, we're going to talk about Quora.com. We must go on Quora.com.

Yeah, but that's what the show is, so I have to do it. I have no choice. And we're going to begin with our Space of the Week like we always do and explore on Love, Life, Troubles, and Strife on Quora.com. space of the week negatively framed it is negatively framed semicolon trouble and strife

love life semicolon trouble and strife if you're on the YouTube and advice on love dating marriage and divorce six subscribers but thousands of followers I don't know what the difference is between that and I'll never learn neither do I if you're on the YouTube you're noticing there's a big

flaming red sign that says love on it. That lets you know it's a love space. It's getting hot in here. Did you have a specific question you wanted me to look at on here, Alex? Nope. You're going to have to bust a move, hot shot.

Why don't you treat this like you're dating in 2010? Loves me, loves me not. If they are the one, should I stay or should I go? Healthier, toxic relationship, heartbreak, recovery, love and hate. Okay, I know everything I need to know. Now, that doesn't make any sense at all.

How do I know if they are the one? Should I start? Okay. What doesn't make sense to you? Sorry, the word no isn't in there. Yeah, the word no isn't in there. How do I if they are the one? Oh, okay.

Which is an important question. So there's a spelling error in the description. Or is it like, how do I, the Leigh-Anne rhyme song? How do I? If they have a one. Well, then there should be a semicolon. Yeah. Here's a question on here.

How can I get my girlfriend to stop being so mean all the time? Oh. What? Okay. That is a good question. I would say you've got to probably scare her. I mean, have you tried listening to her? Oh, okay.

We're taking different approaches. They're both good. What she wants or maybe... The male and female perspective on this question. We're like, scare her. Get a mask. And you're like, she's right. Leave, bro.

Wow. Okay. So in your experience, you would say when girlfriends are mean, it's because they're agitated in some way? I'd say there's two reasons. It's because if they've asked for something or they feel as though they've asked for something or communicated something and they're not getting their needs met, or alternatively, they don't like you and for some reason they don't want to break up with you, so they're just going to be shitty. I've seen it. Yeah.

I've been that person. Sure. Oh, baby! I can't break up with you, so I will just be the worst, and you will break up with me. Oh. Yeah. I've heard of this disgust and the Seinfeld.