Quorators - Matters of Faith

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Is it okay to laugh at memes related to Jesus, like for example, a video of Jesus skateboarding? When is man going to learn that 666 is NOT the number of satan? Is it safe for cats to drink beer? --- Come to our live show on December 14th at The Gutter in Brooklyn https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quorators-live-tickets-1077648448519 Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

you're back for another week at the q store ha ha that's right quaraders with the four boys and claire uh weather's somewhat gray today we're looking at clouds from nine to five bring an umbrella when you go outside i love that how many episodes of this start with alex took a weather report for like three weeks ago you'll never believe what the weather was like well i have like a process in my brain that's like okay well now i've opened the show i say who's on it uh what's next um probably how cold it is and then uh at some point i read the internet yeah that's right i'm just going through the list now if there's any room to tighten sure on this order of operations. I would love to be the first to hear

it, but I don't think there is. Have you had a big hoagie or anything? I have not had a big hoagie. I'm offended you would ask. That's what you said you wanted to do yesterday. You said, I want to eat a big sandwich. I've never had a big hoagie. You said you wanted a big sandwich. That's what you said yesterday. Today? I say that every day. Yesterday you said,

tomorrow I'm going to eat a big hoagie. Well, my wife made chili, so I had that instead. You know what I had? What? A freaking hoagie. Did you really? Hell yeah, dude. Tell me all about it. This is the show now. My wife and I split a sandwich. Oh, my God.

Pretty cool stuff. That's marriage. It's nice to have someone to split sandwiches with. I know, right? Isn't that what it's all about? Will you share your sandwiches? Especially if they're too big. My mom always tells me this story about how when she was a young teen,

she was sad about being single, and then she went out to dinner with her parents, and they split a meal, and she started crying. Because she's like, I want that? She was like, I want to split a meal with someone. It's too convenient. I'm crying because it's gay. That was what I said when I was four.

You're so gay, Mom. My parents are paws. I'm Lizzie McGuire. This is Gen Z Lizzie McGuire. Sheesh. All right. I think that's just Gen Z. It's inside her sheesh.

All right. All right. I don't know about Lizzie McGuire, honestly. Yeah, it shows. You're very Gordo. He's extremely Gordo. Oh, I don't like that this is a problem. He's the pin we all want.

but cannot have. He's her little friend. Okay. Yeah, they have a real will they, won't they? But she goes to Italy and, you know, I should have brought this up last episode. She goes to Italy and dates a rock star or a model or something. Italian rock star.

But I'm Gordo. And then I think they work it out. I don't really recall per se. The point was she had a lot of attitude. And that's what we're talking about on the show today with our episode, Matters of Faith. uh-huh honey now these are great questions of philosophy of religion religion mostly and actually there are no philosophy ones on here strong opinions i just like to shoehorn god in

when the guest is not here because sometimes people get uncomfortable yeah it does happen when i shoehorn them in there um because they like god or i think they're just bored it's all over Some people, I mean, if we get somebody on whose career is going well, sometimes we'll put in a God question. They'll be like, am I allowed to talk about this? Who cares about God stuff anymore? I know, right? I don't know if my rap label will let me. It's like 2012.

You know, I would think that no one does, except from making clips of this show. I've been forced to be very aware of how into God millions of people are. Wait, what was that one thing that you said about Jesus? Me? Yeah. That he's a false idol? did you say that or did you read someone's question about jesus and they got mad oh we read a question about like jesus shitting on the cross or something and a lot of people were like

how dare you say that and then people like started bringing up in other things that i wrote like i posted something on facebook or something which isn't on me i shouldn't be on there but then people were like aren't you that jew who said that jesus shit himself and i was just like i guess aren't you that doubtful jew i just read the thing i know lots of people who shit themselves yes Yes, and they're great men. He would have been so lucky to shit himself. That question really offended my mom, I remember. That makes sense.

She listened to the live show and was like, this was very offensive to me. I didn't write the question. Yeah. I don't think people get that. Alex and I also had a big miscommunication about it because the reason that we got so many angry comments is that we made a five-minute clip about it and put it online. And Alex said to me, what did you say? You said, definitely don't do the clip about the Jesus thing. And for some reason I heard it as definitely do the clip about the Jesus thing.

I posted it and you were like, is Jeremy trying to like big dog me? Yeah, I thought Jeremy was trying to alpha me. Yeah, but when I posted it, I was like, this is a bad idea, but Alex is the big dog. So he decides, ruff ruff. And in the end, we were both the big dog who got yelled at by hundreds of Christians. Do you know about Piss Christ? What did you just say to me? I just called you Piss Christ.

Piss Christ is a piece of art. that's a it's a portrait of i think portrait of christ on the cross but it's made of um this guy's piss that's incredible yeah yeah we've got this pulled up on the youtube and that my one of my goals in life is to become so have get at least get enough money at some point to buy piss christ oh my god so it's a cross it's a crucifix um and it's submerged in a small glass tank of urine Oh, okay. No, I thought he painted it with urine. This is much less impressive.

It's just dipped in his piss. Now, this seems like I'm begging to be murdered kind of art. What's really impressive is, look how much urine this guy has. He doesn't say he did it all. How long do you think it took? It's cloudy. There's a real amber color to this. I would be worried for my kidneys if I created piss Christ.

But apparently, I was eating lunch with someone the other day, and this like really interesting looking guy walks into the restaurant and my friend goes, you know who that is? That's the guy who made Piss Christ. That's Piss Christ. And he was like the coolest looking guy

you've ever seen. Wow. Even like cool for New York. Did he have like dreads? No, but it was like he might as well have. Oh, right. He was like levitating off the ground. He was just so intrigued.

He might as well have been. He looked so cool and jangly. So anyway, I want to be able to buy Piss Christ someday. This is making me realize of a very unique idea of what a cool guy is. Does he have dreads?

Is he blind? I mostly think of those ghost twins from the movie. Yeah, that's what I think he is. Does he go through walls? Does he have a twin? Do they hang out together? Was he fighting on the highway?

I will say, as much as those guys are goofy looking, if I saw them walk into a bar, I'd be like, those are the coolest people I've ever seen. God, I wish that was me and my brother.

If the two guys of all-weather white dreads and then sunglasses ordered a coffee, you'd be like, who are these men? If they were in the middle of their coffee order

and then turned to the other one and said, I'm getting annoyed, I would probably sell my soul to be annoyed. Just a little joke we do. Is this guy British? He sounds British to me.

Piss Christ. Saying it out loud sounds like piss Christ. He sounded American. Look at him. He looks cool, right? He is pretty cool. He's born in New York City.

Red, white, and blue is the day he's old. I was going to say he sounded New York-y when I heard him talk. Sure, half Honduran, half Afro-Cuban. He's beautiful. Cool guy. And he is a Christian. Yeah, well. Oh, kind of ironic.

What is piss if not part of the body? It looks like he peed on a lot of things. He did pee on a lot of things. That's really interesting. You know, when people talk about the difference in the job market between like 2020 and 1980. I feel like the jobs and peeing on religious idols

has really gone down in a way where you can no longer own a home doing that. Well, this is like, this is, you know, I feel like the economy was pretty good back then

and then the late, late 80s, everything was all right. We were pissing gold. We were pissing gold. Everyone was having kids, baby boom. We were probably born around piss Christ time.

I was. Right. I'm 93. You were actually conceived to the Piss Christ And you can tell I'm like when you meet a kid who was born after 9-11 Yeah, you can tell And you're like, oh yeah, it's a different world

Can we just see real quick how much this costs? Pull up, Piss Christ Can you buy a sunset? It's funny that he's like I didn't realize people would be offended by it It's like, yeah, you did Oh, I guess they were actually really mad I peed on their god

I just thought it would look cool i can't imagine you can actually buy you can i think it's in uh uh someone's collection andres i'm seeing your idea and i love it but maybe some punch up i have what if it was orange juice christ kind of looks the same and no one has to get stabbed where is it how do i like i'm looking up like how do i how to buy we're getting we're getting stuck on this for way too long This is kind of just me wanting to know how much Piss Christ is. We're on NFT.Christies.com. Yeah, this is just like an NFT version of it.

An NFT of Piss Christ? Wow, how much are those going for? 25 glob lawns. I think it's $25, actually. Is that what those are? It says USD. When I was young, we paid for things in glob lawns. I get what you're saying, but this one happens to be dollars.

Well, I'll have to believe you because it is, of course, a matter of faith. Now, we are going to get to our Space of the Week here and begin exploring what we have to see. Space of the Week. That's great. This does say something about it being $277,000. I'm so sorry. Okay, so someone bought it for $277,000 in 2008. That's a cool quarter bill.

And you know who it was? It was Barack Obama. It was right when he became president. Oh, shit. If you like your Piss Christ, you can do it. Yeah, he became president. He was like, I'm buying Piss Christ. I'm falling out of control.

Yeah, you know, I'm a lifelong Democrat, but I have to criticize the president buying Piss Christ. It just doesn't show the values I look for in a candidate. Oh, no. All right. Sorry. Space of the week. It's freaking human instructions.

humans colon instructions a brain emoji board emoji clipboard clipboard emoji if you're confused there's a very simple description here it says humans instructions for use okay so this is to help humans it's for use a lot 17 contributors uh 77 000 followers a lot of people learning how to do instructions uh the image is a young girl looking at a skeleton she kind of looks like she's telling the skeleton something to do, and then it's instructions by humans for skeletons. Maybe this should be under skeletons instructions. What the, what the?

Now, what's interesting about this space is I cannot seem to derive what is going on here. It's that sort of philosophical. It doesn't seem like it's about anything. Yeah, like this one. What does it mean when a boy stares at you but never talks to you? He's, um...

He's blind. He's a man. Easy. Blind. The answer is blind. Next. Okay. Do we got another one?

Seeing everyone as equal, like ordinary people, no rank, no age, no wealth, and other than that, a good mindset or not? Hmm. I think that's a good mindset. That's a pretty good mindset. Although not really, because those things do exist, so you probably should see them to some extent. You should see rank and age and wealth. Or at least see how other people perceive other people. Yeah.

If you're speaking to an elderly yet impoverished Commodore, you should include that in your reverence. I like this one. This is a real bone-brained question. Why is it that people's first instinct to connect poverty with crime rather than with the individual? Is accountability that bad? That's a great question.

Have you considered they're in jail because they're demons? Some people are just born evil. Thank you, Quora. Is accountability bad? I vote no. All right, and then people are like, here's my study from the Southern Poverty Law Center. Let me talk to you, the biggest fool on the net.

This guy is uniquely unique. Y-O-U-N-E-E-C-K, all caps, U. That's Quora, baby. And he says, I agree. There's plenty of people who live below the poverty level like me who don't commit crime. People who commit crime are narcissists who feel like the world just owes them

and they just take what they want. Yo, okay, this is a beautiful synthesis of internet brain and, like, ideology happening. Like, they're narcs and I have ADHD and I don't commit crimes. This guy goes on a whole long rant about how black people should just stop doing crimes if they want to stop being killed by the police or whatever.

Jesus. But he is black? Is that what he said? Been born through... Oh, never mind. I thought he said that he was black. All right, so the Bible... Been through hell and back,

not I am actually black. Jeremy Redd has been through hell and black. I don't know why I scrolled over that earlier, and I thought I said that I misread it. He's just a racist. Encourage men. All about men. Yeah, he's part of two spaces that are specifically about men.

And breakups. And memes that are finally freaking good for once. All right, so a very meme-focused young man, uniquely unique. And this is all part of human instructions. so let's go to uh let's go back to human instructions yeah sorry i don't need to read that much about uniquely unique who's just a weird racist guy yeah okay so i i guess my issue is i'm not getting enough instructions these are people who are looking for instructions because these questions are like what's the most important thing men consider the in a relationship

how can one control his or her ego like these are like so they need instructions they're people humans in the picture they're the skeleton receiving the instruction from the girl yeah or the or the girl is listening intently to the skeleton oh and the skeleton's talking without even moving its mouth yeah the skeleton has like is neurodivergent can't make that skeleton is a shy turtle um what is something that women don't understand about men that they should i would feel like whenever i see this question the answer is always like that they also have feelings yeah we do do cry that's the number one thing is that it's like wolverine every time we

get a boater it actually is quite painful i have to jerk off a lot oh no no one knows they're all so long i don't know if i care to read any of them well these are instructions for humans humans this guy says oh the thing is like these those are all answering other questions uh this guy says here's a typical situation they stop to fill up the car man goes into the shop to pay comes out with a bag of salt and vinegar crisps anglo spotted her thought process he knows i don't like salt and vinegar he knows i would have preferred pepper or even peanuts why what did i do wrong is he angry with me he can't still be angry over what i said about his mom's new hairdo kenny it was two months ago

or is he thinking about some other woman he said there was a new girl at his office she's probably thinner than i am that's why he didn't buy anything for me he wants to get slimmer oh he wants me to get slimmer i shouldn't have eaten a bar of chocolate last week maybe he'll sleep with her wants to get slimmer that bastard his thought process crisps yum i will say all this victory if you know that your wife because he's saying that he's married if you know your wife hates salt and vinegar chips you probably should just get a regular chips i guess yeah or just you know say oh i didn't get anything yeah well i think that the the moral of the story is that what women don't understand

about men is they're actually really cool and that they know exactly what women are thinking yeah cool ass daddies who pretty much have access to cerebro and can read their minds

and count their midichlorians that's so cool those are they're mixing that's something men do um but what we don't need to read this list of things does the lord do i think we've

we've gotten enough of human in his throne up high that's what i'd like to ask on this week's Qua-ray-tors. Please. Have you ever felt anointed by God? Yep.

What does it mean to be anointed by God? Bro, you're so young. I think it's like God touched you, said you're special. You're a special boy. yeah you know when um you know when sometimes like we'll start recording and it kind of feels like god made you to podcast and it's that that's why you're here on this earth is to go ahead and read for the people every day of my life you know when you're alex and you leave a croissant at your house you we left a croissant no i'm just saying if you're like someone like alex you leave a

croissant at your house and then the next day like oh my god the croissant's here that's amazing that did feel somewhat like i was anointed by god alex left a hot coffee in my fridge oh like a two weeks ago and i didn't know if i should no i did not drink it okay i threw it out and i was i didn't want to say anything because i was nervous that you'd get mad at me well here's the thing is jeremy loves throwing out my coffee even when i'm gonna drink it so i figured he'd have no bones about throwing away my coffees I left over a week ago. Yeah, that's right.

You hate my coffee because you're jealous. It makes you too energetic and then you're too funny for me. He's out of control. And then I don't look good and then I won't get discovered by all the agents listening to this. I gotta have that sound.

Exactly. Get a load of this. This podcaster's got the juice. It's just me doing a baby voice. I'd love to get signed to a podcasting deal just by going beast mode on the mic. That did happen to us at cracked.com. It did.

And then look what happened. That's true. It was an abusive contract, actually. We're pretty much like Motown singers. Exactly. We're just artists through and through. Anyway, what are the comments on this? I would love to hear what the servants on them.

Sure. Jonathan Anderson, who is a servant at House of God 2021 to present. So pretty recent. Not very long. No. He says, the Lord has shown his lantern upon my head, has pressed upon his lips with the light of his finger, has manifested himself unto me to break bread within. And none of your self-appointed teachers know what I am talking.

May he have mercy on you and your bodies. This present day generation does not have his love within them. Okay. I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Thank you. Well, you've only been a servant at the house of God for like three years. I know, right? What are you to say?

Yeah, it's like really cocky after just three years in the house of God to act like nobody else is going to come join you in that house. You haven't, you weren't even into God like pre-COVID. Yeah. It took you a year of COVID. COVID Christian, we call you. COVID hurt your brain and made you love God. He has one question.

Yeah, the son of perdition is the spirit of anyone that claims this must happen in relation to the prophetic word or ancient text. The truth sets us free. What it does is enslave spiritually. Only God knows the future. Who told you a dream's meaning? Who told me a dream's meaning?

My wife tells me her dream's meaning every morning. So the answer's my wife. The trick with Quora is only one of the sentences is a question. You've got to just look for the one that ends in a question. They try to throw you off the scent some of the time. Who told you a dreams meeting? Who told you a dreams meeting? My therapist.

Reddit.com. He said, I have anxiety. Oh, we got one from Paul Goggins, Walton Goggins' brother. Read it. Or father. Read it while I get a tissue. All right, Paul Goggins, who is a follower of Yeshua, our high priest, says, Absolutely.

With the power of God in my mouth and in my arms, to speak out with boldness, to reveal people's hearts, and to lay hands them to receive the baptism. Yo, that's what's up. There's nothing to compare. When you walk out and know fully well that God will fulfill what you say in that moment. So he's saying that he does this all the time and it rocks. So, yeah, it's pretty great to be anointed by God.

If you don't feel that way, you should probably start trying new hobbies until you feel his touch. And you have to capitalize him when you spell it out. Do you think this guy's ashamed of God? Why would he be ashamed of God? He's anointed by him to baptize him. Oh, I take it back. He actually says, I've decided to have no shame in the gospel. I am not ashamed of the Lord, Yeshua.

I don't give a stuff about what people think. I love that. Stuff is capitalized. I'm not afraid. Emphasis, not Jeremy's. I don't give a stuff about that. I'm absolutely stealing that one. Stuff off.

We get demonetized all the time. I'm going to start stuffing shit left and right. You know why it's called that? Because it's done by demons. what do you mean it's demonetized oh okay i agree with that that's something i've always said well we got like we got a a goofball in the mix up there oh do we i missed that oh is there a goofball this guy do you mean metaphysica keep going oh sorry this guy who's got a phd in computer science is trying to be he says uh what i think uh why would i think a non-existent being

would spread oil on me oh my god and then he shares the shut the fuck up smear or rub with oil the definition of anoint don't even dare hit the air horn after saying that alex what a doink i swear to god i'll ask you another question okay that was pretty good though uh when is man going to learn that 666 is not the number of satan It may never happen, because people love saying that. They do. Yeah, so wait, what does that mean? Is it not?

They get it tattooed. Why is it not? I thought it was. What is it? If it's not that, I don't know what it is. 420. 0.666 is number of the millabeast. Oh, there's another lib trying to own people.

This is Doubting Thomas on Quora. Yeah, this is a guy who's doing a joke. He's being a goof. He has a meme where it's all different versions of 666. First of all, first of all. This is the area code of the beast. This is the postcode of the beast. Do not go on Quora and name yourself Doubting Thomas.

Do not go on Quora. Blasphemed against our very lord by doubting his internal way. That sounds like a character from The Bitch. Doubting Thomas, played by Anya Taylor-Joy a second time. He has no questions. He simply doubts. He just goes on there and doubts all day. Like, if I got owned by Doubting Thomas, I'd just be like, that guy doubts all the time.

I don't give a shit. He literally, all he does is go on Quora, find people asking about religion, and post a meme about how it's fake. That's so rude. He's a hardcore atheist. You suck. Oh, okay. And then there's a picture of a guy in a bikini.

He has a picture of a guy in a bikini. A Confederate flag bikini. And it says, this is how people see you when you use the word libtard, is you look like a beautiful racist. Yeah, kind of like a really jacked guy. Yeah, you got a great tummy. I like this question that this is in response to. No, this is a great question.

The question is, are atheism and libtardism two sides of the same exceedingly malignant satanic ideology? The answer is yes. That's something more Americans are asking every day. I don't care how many sexy bikini pics you post. It's still something people want to know. Oh, Doubting Thomas. Shut the fuck up, Doubting Thomas, and believe in him. uh someone and then shlomo cohen says shirby's republic cuntism by a country mile

is your name really shlomo cohen well let's ask we can't ask that's just bullying yeah former member of uh the israeli judicial authority oh oh he's retired israeli guy retired israeli guy his name is shlomo shlomo's a real name though it is okay oh yeah definitely People say it as a slur sometimes. It does get used as a joke name a lot, but it sure is. Yeah, it's got the sounds of. It's a good name.

It's a fun one. It's got the sounds of that voice. Yeah, it's probably the most beautiful name I've ever heard. Isn't your daughter named Shloma? She is. She's Shloma. Shloma Batak. She's a girl.

Her name is Shloma. Shloma, yes, that's right. Okay, sorry. What are people not going to learn about 666? Yeah, I want to hear something that isn't from Doubting Thomas for once. Naughty, I don't know. Not I don't know says, one of the heads of the beast is Satan, the one that is wounded. The beast is a spiritual entity that has operated the last 2,000 years.

It has the ability to recon or understand the number, which is a key to success that will follow the one that cracks it into the next age. As for you, you must accept Jesus, being born of water and the spirit moving forward. desiring the milk whereby you can grow for me belongs to those of us that are of full age what about 666 though right oh i'm into this beast lore like i kind of want to learn more about the beast how many heads does the beast have i wonder what this milk is it and this is going on a limb six oh you're right to the guy tell me more about can i add an image to this can you add an image i mean if you go and get one i wanted to well it doesn't let you see it says you gotta i wanted to put the the gift from anchorman where he says milk was a bad choice

under his desiring the milk whereby you can grow for me what about the other the three dots what happens if you press those on the right that's just more options because can you add we can uh report it yeah let's report it for being too biblical milk was a bad choice dot dot or dash dash anchor man man all right that's really good that's good stuff and he'll see that yep he's gonna love that we're gonna get he lives in texas all right well let's see when he gets i mean this question was answered pretty recently so um oh okay we have a good answer from brenda adams here throw it in there say it the bible lists the number of a good reason 666 is a failure to the third degree it's like getting a f as fff on a report card for your work and performance

I'm going to pause here because that's pause this analogy is somewhat I've gotten an F on things no one's ever written FFF on anything having a triple F

if you write FFF on my paper I'm concerned I'm going to be arrested or something rest of the answer Satan's system has earned that grade from Heavenly Father

who challenged him so we are not the only ones observing the Earth's failure in many things so this is just Satan doing bad on a test It says that God's official rank of Satan is six, three whole times. So it's like pretty much a D minus, six out of 10, very mid.

It's calling the devil mid. I don't see a single thing that says that 666 is part of the Bible or not. I mean, some people say it's not part of the Bible, but I don't know. One guy says it's 999. What if the devil was mid? this is a myth created by hollywood a former house painter named alan says oh that's cool i don't know why hollywood did that why does i am a pizza and beef patty follow all of these guys he's on all of these i know and it's like they don't follow that many this guy follows 900 people

like that's really not we see every single one of them i wonder if the algorithm like sorts them up wait beef patty and i am a pizza are the same person we're thinking we have a theory so yeah it's like a spider-man peter parker's thing yeah i'm a pizza follows 2700 people which again is not that many we see it all the time it's relentless and he posts every fucking hour he posted 10 hours ago 12 hours ago 14 hours ago all right what's i am a pizza update all right i am a pizza up we did a sound for that um his most recent question yeah can i really find someone on court to really eat me up before that is do you really think i deserve to be eaten up right now For those who are new, I am a pizza is a guy who cosplays.

He's pizza. He's pizza. He's on Quora every 10 hours. You got to eat him. If someone can eat him. What would you really do if you don't know if I was in your stomach? I would digest your ass. Shit.

I say goodbye on here. I'd be get eaten up and end up in the stomach. Would I really like that? I am a pizza. Is pizza? Okay, so pizza is a talking pizza. But he still talks like, ooh, I am a small doge kind of guy. Yeah.

And that's not a voice I necessarily imagine a pizza having. How will I become sausage? There's five answers on that. But they're to other questions. And none of them quite tackle what we're talking about here. No, some people answered. One guy said becoming a sausage is impossible. Okay.

By the way, that answer is from Eshabadalasatar5esha. It said, but you can't explore careers in food production or butchery. It's all about choosing your path. And then hyperlinked, how does education impact career growth? Then Teresa said, ha, ha, ha, can you explain what you mean, please? And I'm a pizza said, I want B sausage at food. Read the education text, please. What?

I'm just saying I'm a pizza needs to read this career. Oh, yes, please. Maybe learn something for once. It would be delicious sausage, too. Great. That's been I am a pizza. We do need a sound. He's coming up a lot.

I'm a pizza. Yum. I'm a pizza. Let's read another question. Let's do a third one here. Atheists, imagine yourself in a room with Summer. That's capitalized. As you watch Summer confidently and charismatically defend theism,

does a small flutter of fascination rise within you despite your best efforts to resist it? I assume this is Summer from Rick and Morty. Yeah. That's kind of what I went to. Is that who we're talking about? The high school girl sister of Morty? Are you in love with her?

Summer Sanders, the host of, remember that show on Nickelodeon? Oh, Nick Gas? It might have been Gas. It was the one. Yeah, forget it. It's like a. What was that called? Nick Cannon style figure.

Summer Sanders. Google Summer Sanders. Summer Sanders. She was an Olympian swimmer, but she also hosted. She's an Olympian swimmer? That's amazing. But we're trying to talk about her Nick gas. Figure it out.

Well, look at this shit. Figure it out. Figure it out as well. Okay, but I fucking called Nick gas from downtown. Yeah, you really did. People don't even know. They just focus on her Olympic swimming, but they don't know that she's the gas gal.

She married another Olympic swimmer. Oh, that's really beautiful. I bet they're going to have pretty much fish for children. Well, she divorced him and married an Olympic skier. Different Olympics season. Is that weird? Is it weird for an Olympic athlete to just only date other Olympic athletes? No.

Because I think that it's like a legendary fuck fest over there. Sure. Yeah. That's where they meet. And they all swap spit. They all give each other their own spit. Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. It's what you mean. Just like hulk out and fuck each other. Yeah, basically. They pretty much, it's like all of Greece is destroyed every time they climb Mount Olympus. Well, that's beautiful. anyway if she was at my table yeah i'd be sprung as all hell yeah if she was explaining atheism no it's not atheism it's theism oh sorry so i guess she's so like we're at dinner right

it's like thanksgiving i brought my new girlfriend summer over and she's like you know i think there is like a divine creator who yeah has made the earth and stars i've always felt like that when when people are like oh it's so weird like if you're an olympic athlete and you only date other olympic athletes sure you think that there's a creator yeah that you've You've been sculpted from clay. Because you've been anointed. I always thought it was funny when Chance the Rapper was really popular, people were like, oh, it's so weird that he loves God so much.

It's like, he was like 17 and became famous. Why would you not think that God is real? Totally. It's extremely awesome. Also, he's so in love with the beautiful women who explain his plans in divine machinations. But yeah, the luckiest people in the world are always the people who are like, yeah, God exists for sure. Yeah.

Because there's no other reason why. How else do you deal with that? Interesting little curve on that. It's like the luckiest people and then the most downtrodden people are like, I need to believe something's coming out of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like cost fallacy. Every day I'm hit by a train.

Totally. There's got to be a reason I keep shooting my pants. There's going to be a huge payoff for this. Just like Jesus did on the cross. Direct your hate mail to Jeremy. Wait, I want to read the answer to this. Please, please. The first one is from N. Ahmed Crespo, who is a veteran of the Christian baby questions.

Very cool. He breaks down the question. So part of the question, atheists, imagine yourself in a room with Summer. He says, ew, no. As you watch Summer confidently and charismatically defend theism, he says, I've read your questions that defend theism. They are pathetic. Overconfidence is a sign of foolishness. Does a small flutter of fascination rise within you?

Not at all. The feeling is called cringe. Oh, no. Despite your best efforts to resist it, the only efforts to resist is throwing up because your attempts at being cool are horribly cringe and creepy. You've been owned by North Ahmed Crespo.

Don't even come to the north side of Ahmed Crespo. Who knows about My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Greatest Franchise, and He-Man, parentheses, comic book character. I like this account. This is a based Quora user. Should we follow him?

Yes, we should. He's got 52 followers. I wonder if he knows about I Am Pizza. No, he doesn't. Based. He goes online and he tells people they're cringe, and then he posts a meme of them. And then he talks about He-Man.

And he talks about He-Man. Isn't He-Man so cool? No, but I think he's being funny and ironic because he's based north on Meg Crispo. Is he? Yeah, he's based. He's talking a lot about Donald Trump. He's talking about Jesus a lot.

Oh, he can't be based. He's talking about Donald Trump. No, I agree. Do you hear what you're saying right now? I agree he's based, but he also is talking about the Ninja Turtles. Yeah. Is he atheist?

Atheist? He's definitely an atheist. He's certainly, he doesn't even, he's not even aroused by summer. Wow. Okay, well, there's an emaciated baby that we're looking at. Wait, if God didn't exist. Yeah, sorry, I'll scroll up. So we don't have to look at this baby.

Yeah, I don't want to look at that right now. He basically breaks down all of these things one by one. So it says, like, if God doesn't exist, how do atheists explain this simple analogy? As a logical and critical thinker, I, Kevin McCormick, analyze and conclude that when we close our eyes, nothing ceases to exist. and then he just goes part by part and says, first of all, you're fucking dumb as hell. Yeah, he's calmly dismantling them. Yeah, I see.

He's doing Ben Shapiro. You're basically Shredder. Yeah. I think he ironically likes Ninja Turtles. He doesn't. Look, he's talking about how cool Michelangelo is. Yeah, but he's laughing because it's ironic. I think you're wrong.

He's like Ben Shapiro exactly. Someone said I sound like Ben Shapiro. When you speed up your voice, but a lot of people sound like Ben Shapiro when you speed up their voice. Yeah. That's probably true. He's got a high and fast voice.

The question is, if you slow down Ben Shapiro, does he sound like Jeremy? He sounds like a really cool and sexy guy. That's what we need to find out. Total check. Slow him down. Explain supply-side economics to me. Who is Summer? Gordon Thompson says, not at all.

Summer is a dick and an intellectual infant who thinks that arguments can prove facts and that atheism is religion or a belief, just like Billy Flowers. Oh, is Summer a Quora user? Billy Flowers is a Quora user. That's a Quora guy, I think. Yeah, and people hate him. This guy says, Summer is starting to think too much of herself.

I suspect that she is a bot. But unfortunately, not a particularly intelligent one. This is inside Quora Baseball. These are Quora users. Can we find Summer? Did Summer comment on this? I think there are other questions about Summer. Search Summer, Jeremy.

This isn't going to work. Search and enhance. Summer under users. There's Larry Summers, Which is confirmed by the website So Larry Summers posts on here About like austerity or whatever I don't know how to do this

Hit search summer No Hey there summer No these are people talking to summer Hey there summer here I am summer That's from our friend Shut up Crespo

It's autumn now Your time has passed Fucking got her All right, so Summer is the one who denounces atheism on the board. I think Summer is asking these questions. So I'm going to scroll down to the bottom because this question is added by Summer. Oh, so this is like in a rap song? Summer, parentheses, IDK.

Whoa. Here he is. This guy has 66 followers. Oh, wow. Why are people talking that much about him? Everyone's talking. You're only platforming Summer. Every one of Summer's questions starts with, Summer here, atheism debunker.

This is like in a rap song when the rapper's like, that reminds me of me, the cool guy. Summer here, atheism's greatest enemy. Let's face it, atheism can be downright boring, don't you think? Sure, they talk about science and evidence, but that doesn't even begin to compare to the thrill of discovering God through logic. Summer here.

But Summer's a little boy, basically. Summer seems to be a young boy who knows who Justin Bieber is. I am following Summer. Okay, so Summer studied at Harvard, but lives in India? Yes. A lot to know about Summer. Summer's still posting.

Summer's posting like every day. Summer, we salute you. This last post was five days ago. Summer here debunking atheism with ease. Why do atheists even bother debating theism? It's like trying to put out a fire with a squirt gun. Once I present my arguments, atheism melts away like butter on a hot day.

It's just too easy. Does a butter melt on a hot day? Summer rules. I love Summer. I like Summer here. I don't care if Summer's a troll. People are really worked up about him. Summer reminds me of God's plan in many ways.

Summer's anointed for sure. Summer's anointed as hell. Oh, 1,000%. Summer is the flaming one. Summer's a warrior of God. Absolutely. He is the sword that cuts through the shadow. Summer here, atheism debunker.

You know what I think? I think some atheists are secretly jealous of my skills. I mean, they're probably thinking about me when they're sleeping. Summer, Summer, how could you be so witty and smart and good looking? Wow. Damn. Summer rules. I wish I was Summer.

And then the top comment is just people being mad. Steve says, yes, Summer, it's true. All the atheist women are very jealous of your skills. I mean, they can't figure out how you talk like a 23 centimeter cock down. Or sorry, take a 23 centimeter cock down your throat and swallow all at the same time. God has indeed blessed you, except for the bruises on your knees. You need to work on that. It looks tacky.

And then Summer says, what? Destroyed. Destroyed. flawless victory win for based summer how big is 23 centimeters look at this related questions this is so many summer questions i also don't know how big that summer here summer here the absolute savage at debunking where's that one bruce rosenfeld bruce rosenfeld comments i took a dump and it looked like you that's pretty good that's a pretty good clap back my only thought is like is there a second

summer account because like i just don't get how this guy has 60 followers a second summer so bad about it because people are constantly looking up atheists yeah quora it's true to try to take them down down well summer is a base theist summer rules we love summer i hope that they're really 13 years old yeah well they actually graduated from harvard in 2000 so i don't think about i don't think that's true pal well that was a rare gem and i can't wait to run into summer again oh brother okay great um let's move on from summer i guess is it okay to laugh at memes related to jesus like for example a video of jesus skateboarding read my lips no that is not okay jesus the memes are not to be laughed at i don't think i've ever seen a meme of jesus skateboarding

i feel like i must have i would like to see one in the comments well you know what we have is the power of google wait wait wait wait wait wait go back to the page please please there is a great answer to this satanist please read it satanist says sure it's okay it isn't like jesus a real person who's gonna get mad at you for laughing at a joke he's just a mythical character i am satanist what about david look at david's answer david cousins phd in physics david cousins david cousins now your time has come okay the only way to laugh is to tell is to laugh your arse off and wait for the lightning bolt to hit it. Just don't do it outside a

thunderstorm. Thunderstorms increase the probability that a vengeful god is likely to be present to strike you down. Have a good look around for big guys walking around carrying large hammers. You also don't want to be smote with one of those. That's an Anglospotted, by the way. Anglospotted.

You said arse. Smote. By us, David Cousins. You said arse and smote in the same paragraph. but yeah we should pull one up just to see if it's okay to laugh at it let's see if it's even funny you know yeah well let's see well it's a lot of ai which i don't love no i don't love that i either this but i like the drawn one the drawn one's actually pretty based here he is this is jesus on a skateboarding cross that's pretty funny that's cool i do like that that one's actually

triumphant for um christians and their god they've defeated the cross his tool of oppression the cross which the romans callously made him carry up the hill to uh hang on but he did not shit on hung him on a tree and where nobody shit at all um and then he skateboarded around on it it's actually funny to him it's kind of morbid that everybody's always wearing necklaces with a little dead guy on them i think crazy yeah it is kind of crazy i think it's cool um the first person to bring this up i love necklaces the thing about skateboarding in a cross is that if you stood on the side parts, I feel like those are going to get caught on stuff.

Oh, sure. I don't think it's a good step. You have to be very balanced. Yeah, it's doing too much. It's got no lip. You can't grind with it. If you try to grind on that thing, you're going to get hurt, Jesus. The turning part?

It's just the front and the back. It's called the lip. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Could you ever be very confidently googling lip tricks lip slide is kind of like a board slide yeah we'll see about that when we look up lip brother don't show this to anyone don't show them the lip trick fine do you mean the lip oh brother do you mean a madonna no i'm confused it's the edge of a half pipe i was wrong

What's the move where they pick up the board and they spin in Tony Hawk? It's like Corpus Christi. Oh, that's a Christ air. Christ air. Nick Twist. I bet Jesus does that as well in his memes. All right. Well, that's enough about skateboarding Jesus.

People say you can, I think. Yeah. Can someone make a yo mama joke about atheists? All right. Let's do our best here. Okay. Yo mama. Yo mama so atheist.

Yo mama lacks faith. in a way that is quite sad that when events arise in her life that seem uh hard to deal with she has no one to look to she has no greater power your mama is so atheist that even if the lord himself were to impregnate him her with his seed capital h she would not she would think it is but her husband, Joseph. That's the humble carpenter. Yo mama's so atheist she walks into a church

and says, this ain't a Wendy's. Oh, you're a fucking dumb mother. Listen to how atheist she is. There is one Lord. You piece of shit. Yo mama's so atheist she saw Jesus walking on water. She was like, look at that

freaking fish. what must be a fish it's some sort of fish i think yeah i i couldn't be the divine will she says all right scroll down let's see if anybody has a good one oh north on that crespo is back yeah he says your mama is so atheist that she said nothing when i plowed her last night i mean she was nothing nothing nothing nothing i'm coming i don't really get that when people goes like god oh my god i'm coming i think maybe the n in in n ahmed stands for nothing oh that's just his name nothing ahmed crespo veteran of christian baby tm questions oh brother okay there's this guy harry dixon who writes in on all these he has a picture of donald trump and uh if he likes

your answer he he says donald approves your answer because he looks like check mark president the Incoming President Donald Trump approves of your question. This guy says, oh, well, here's one. Yo mama will not pray when you get cancer. She will take you to a doctor. Ha ha. I think ours are better. I think ours are better.

I think they're all around the same, to be honest. I think they're all great. Okay, so. Here's another question. You can make these, but to what end? Are Christians not allowed to bow down to another human? I think you're thinking of Islam. I'm pretty sure.

I think Christians are actually constantly bowing down. They love to bow. They're actually bowing down to the, yeah, like, oh, priests. Yeah. It's pretty much a bowing down competition. Preachers. They're always giving preachers money. You should ask Nietzsche about it, honestly.

It's like the slave mentality or whatnot. They love that damn Pope. Although now they don't. They're pretty much bowing down. Well, the Pope is Catholic, but Catholic is a version of Christian where there's like a super Christian who's the Pope, and God tells him all of his thoughts. but if like now

we have the lib pope we have woke pope sometimes the pope is like you can be gay and it's funny and then people are like God actually didn't tell you that

because you're a bitch yeah people like don't like the pope now which is really funny I wish the pope was Donald Trump they say to him they're like

God speaks to the pope for like 10,000 years and now they're like actually he doesn't anymore not anymore you can't your dog cannot go to heaven

God's being ironic now kind of like conclave it is it's exactly like it's basically conclave though the stanley tucci guy in conclave who's lib pope that's pretty much the current pope yeah yeah that makes sense yeah he's fully the current pope is stanley tucci it's pretty much no accent or anything yeah um but here's the thing about uh catholics who are critical of the pope uh protestantism's over there pal yeah exactly why don't you go ahead and leave the church hey nice theses idiot you doubting thomas ass bitch whose name is doubting thomas you're basically doubting thomas if you think that the pope isn't

real so how do you like or is fallible i think is what we're saying um so yeah you can do whatever you want people are really getting into the weeds on this but i don't really feel like we have to read it rockefeller says christian are allowed to have any other gods before the true god shut up yeah we we get it all right yeah we don't need to read more of these boring about whether or No, you can bow in Christianity. Who cares? Who cares? Do you have a specific one you want me to read, Alex?

All of the last ones are very good. Let's do Quirgin Wild. Okay. Let me see how long we've been... If you were guaranteed $1,000 for every 12-ounce glass of warm cat pee you could drink in a year with no limit, how much would you drink? This is a test of faith. I think this is.

Yeah. So how much do you want? $1,000. The first thing I need to know is how much cat pee is going to do, can I have before it hurts me? Yeah. I guess. Like if it just tastes.

Yes. It's warm cat pee, so it's going to be really gross. But if I do like one every day, or even one every two days, like if I do six ounces. Yeah. I don't know if you're allowed to break it up like that, though, because then you could do like an ounce a day. Yeah, if you could break it up, that would be great.

Although, honestly, that might just be drawing it out because you're going to taste it every time you do it. Yeah, can you cut it with something, like Sprite? Yeah, maybe you put cat pee in your beer and then you don't even taste it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Can you put a bunch of it on top of Crucifix?

Yeah, and look at it and buy it for a quarter million dollars? You're using money to make money. I think I would do it once a day, and I think it would be really fun to tell people that's what my job is when I got a party. Like, what do you do for work? Oh, I drink one 12 ounce glass of warm cat urine every day. Yeah, it's like a 30,000 a month job.

I make $365,000 a year, which to some people isn't a lot even. But to me, it's a lot. It's a ton. I drink one glass of cat urine a day. It's objectively kind of a lot. I could do once a month. That's kind of paying my rent. That's an extra 12K.

The problem with once a month is I feel like you never build the immunity then. You know what I mean? Oh, that's interesting. I feel like every month you start thinking like, oh, I got to drink that fucking cat piss. Where I'm drinking it every day, it's like running. You know what I mean? Ah, geez, February's here.

You run once a month, you'll never get in shape. Yeah, where's your dedication to drinking cat piss? Drinking cat piss like I do about running. We're three athletes here on the podcast. What are you Googling? I'm Googling, can you drink cat urine? Okay. We have a questions website.

Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. This is a Quora. Is it safe to drink cat urine? The top question is, is it safe for cats to drink beer? Can't imagine it is. Cannot imagine you should binge your cat beer. Let's try it out.

Go ahead and click on that one real quick. Milo, where are you? We have a new and more important question to answer. There's a veterinarian, Latresa M. Miller. Oh, it's so gross. I'll tell you this much, a freaking IPA, that would taste like cat piss. Am I right, folks? Come on.

Just kidding. I actually really like them. Come on. Scroll down. The idea is like pouring a beer into your cat's bowl. Hey, you need to loosen up. All right. Latresa Miller says, it is not a good idea for cats to ingest alcohol.

I have a warning for you, though, Alex. You're not going to be able to read this whole thing. Oh. We'll never really know. It says they have a slow metabolism in a small body, and it would be easy to give them alcohol poisoning. They could easily, yeah. But my cat would get drunk so fast. He's like nine pounds.

He's like already drunk. Yeah. I spilled some, like, I think it was like rum on the ground once my dog got it. And she got like fucked up instantly. Yeah, I felt really bad. Oh, my God. I mean, she was fine, but also absolutely not fine. And don't let the dog have beer.

I think the answer here is no, that it's not safe for cats to drink beer. But it is so cool to imagine a cat with a little beer can. It has no nutritional benefits, it says. It's dangerous. Well, I still want to know if I can drink cat piss if I'm getting paid $1,000 for that. Oh, big picture of a cat with money. Yeah, this is some sort of AI cat holding cash. This guy says, I know I drink the piss every day.

And honestly, that's where I'm coming from. That's Mal Comron says that. Comron from Clips. Says it like it is watermelon addict. You've got to go to the hospital for how much watermelon you eat. That's a weird one to say you're addicted to. I'm freaking addicted to watermelon. I mean, it's really yummy.

It has almost no calories. It's one of the most harmless addictions one can have. It's too sweet. Too sweet? Anyway, good for you, Mal. It tastes like water. It's too sweet. Someone says, that's not enough to get me to drink Corona cold, let alone warm.

Rim shot. I actually made that joke before you, Sean, so shut the fuck up. Big money Sean comes into the chat. A lot of people are making the same joke here that certain beers taste like cat piss. Already taste like cat piss. Wow. They don't.

I've smelled cat piss. It's pretty gross. It's way worse than beer. I feel like we're having a fun time joking around, but it's way, way worse. It's really bad. I scoop it every day. I don't have a space station that scoops it for me

like some people. Someone, a presumably 14-year-old girl asked, is it okay for a 14-year-old girl to drink her own pee? Do not do that. I don't know if a 14-year-old girl will ask that or a pedophile. Or a doctor who's unsure. What if you're at the doctor's office and you ask a question? They're like, well, let me type something in first.

Pediatrician. Oh, I don't know if that's a problem. Let me look that up. They did not teach that in school. My face should ask me this question. I'm really not sure. People do it all the time in Mexico. And they're paying for the privilege.

Dad joke. It's Corona. Bah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.