Quorators - Matters of the World

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: How Do British People Eat Croissants? If cackling Kamala Harris wins the presidency in a few months time, will the farmyard hen replace the bald eagle as the emblem of the United States of America? Which one is going to win in a fight, a group of 40-50 year old man or Indonesian senior high schoolers? --- Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

you're back in the pound with the dog house the quora dog house that is it's another week live on itunes radio youtube playlist podcast playlist you got your host alex and jeremy and claire and we're back we're going on quorum we're looking at the questions and we're saying that's a crazy question and that's what we do every week uh please do not interact with the people we talk to on quora we are brain professional coordinators and we go on quora good those are my announcements how is everyone pretty good are you well yeah yeah good i too am well we're set for one hell of a week this time i've really been leaning into the curation in a way that is new for the show which is ironic because it is the name of the show but

in what way the spaces are really locking me in i think good i'm like really fleshing out the the world like it's like it trying to so let's say i'm a whale biologist okay and every week i study whales and up until two weeks ago i would just kind of look at a whale like it's big i don't know the back bleachers at sea world and be like i get it um just now i'm really getting in there and swimming in the tank oh and that gives me an appreciation for blowhole culture for krill for mauling other fish for mauling trainers i'm glad that you said whales and not dolphins because i feel like whenever people get into the tanks with dolphins they end up having sex with them they have sex that happens a lot dolphins have a lot of riz jeremy

the way they laugh at all your jokes and they're so smooth too they are really smooth have you ever touched a dolphin i don't think so it rocks have you done this yeah i feel like they probably don't like being touched no they do they're pretty much people in the ocean i don't like that in the past 10 years when we found out for the first time that dolphins are horny. Yeah. Now that's all

anyone can ever talk about. It's true. Regarding dolphins. It's a real Pandora's box situation. The knowledge of dolphins being horny. Yeah, it sucks. I just want them to be.

I didn't jack one off just to be clear. I just touched it on the back like as an attraction at a fancy resort or whatever. But they feel like

like a hard rubber almost. Oh, okay. It's like you feel them and you're like, God, I wish this was my skin. I think I've touched a stingray. That's pretty similar, right? Stingrays rock.

Yeah, you look stingrays. Yeah, I've touched a stingray. They feel like how gummy frogs taste. Gummy frogs? Yeah, you know, like the chewy, like that. They're like gummy bears, but really big. Okay, okay. They're worth differentiating the frog from the bear

because it's a much thicker gummy. I don't think I've had it. I've had gummy fish. I've had gummy bears. I can't wait for you to try gummies in your 30s. You're going to love them. We have so many new candies to explore for you. Do they make anything out of stingrays?

I don't think so. They make something out of every animal. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eating food. There's no stingray soup or whatever. Yeah. I'm sure they make food out of them.

But I think those large aquatic animals are just such a pain to get a lot of that it's impractical to make Skittles out of these when we have horses. That's true. We got plenty of horses. Crazy horses are Skittles. I guess some people... People are eating him. Trump was right.

Trump was right? They're eating my pet. Just in general? Oh. He did say that. It's like they're eating animals. He was for PETA now. He's talking about cows.

Have you heard about this? My impression, new character, guy who kind of hears news stories. This is actually a big-ass long-running character. That's right about those fucking stingrays. Yeah, I mean, I bet they're probably good to eat. Pretty much anything is

good to eat. I bet people taste good as hell. This is according to a Quora post, so we're allowed to read it. Are fake scallops made from stingrays? Let's go. And people are saying no. What do you mean, no? If you eat fake scallops, They're not made out of stingrays, which makes sense

because I feel like that would be harder to do, right? You got to pay extra for that. I feel like to eat a stingray sounds way more difficult. To catch a stingray. Yeah. They killed Steve Irwin. They did kill, but I forgive them for that. I totally get why he was so surprised

because they are some congenial motherfuckers. They stung him. They flop around in the ocean. They have a good time. You would not expect one to betray you through the heart like that. They stung the man. You got to imagine as he was dying, he was like, oh of course you know of course this is how my legacy ends oh you know this guy says um if you

see scallops that they all look identical it's because they are stingrays and that they're using a cookie cutter which is very funny i don't think that's funny per se i think it is funny i think it's very funny to imagine getting a bunch of perfectly circular scallops and they're all just stingray maybe i don't know i guess it's funny like the texas chainsaw massacre is funny It's not funny. Ha ha. Fair enough. Well, no matter what we think of it, it certainly is one of the ways of the world, which brings

us to our theme this week. Okay, yeah. What is it? Which I believe is matters of the world. Uh-huh, honey. That's great. We're going to tackle issues both domestic and international today, and it's going to enlighten us and challenge the viewer.

If you're at home and you wouldn't like to be challenged, turn this off now. i dare you um go ahead i'll wait what is the space of the week alex oh um let's get judgment let's go ahead and get that i think that might be an alex typo space of the week that's great okay so this is supreme court judgment right now we're all familiar with the supreme court the highest court in the land this asked the question what if instead it was a space on quora uh a dedicated space where you can find landmark judgments of sc oh that's interesting because the questions i have found on here are not landmark judgments

they're really just questions random people are asking on there sure what's this one i uh submitted the link to it doesn't it doesn't load for some reason click see parent question where do you see that yes see parent question why what do i do for some illegal gold now we all remember when the supreme court covered this they decided illegal gold was illegal fool's gold they call it you can't remember the name for fool's gold you know it's not worth anything it's pretty much it's fucking illegal pretty much kids have it um so for some illegal gold one thing you could do is steal the bars from a bank sure i actually don't know a second thing you could do get illegal gold how do i get illegal gold you gotta find a criminal yeah

befriend a criminal first step break the law that's true of most illegal things is you need somebody... Just find a guy. Yeah, sort of criminal. I would know. I've spent a lot of time on the Supreme Court subreddit. Maybe a sub-coronate.

Sub-coronate, excuse me. All right, do we have any good answers on here? It is crucial to emphasize that engaging in any activity related to illegal gold is not only unethical, but also illegal. Illegals must always ensure

that their transactions and investments are in compliance with laws and regulations to avoid severe legal consequences. Do you think this guy's AI? He sounds like AI to me. He's explaining laws. Yeah. He said to work with Uyghur gold is Uyghur.

Purushottam Kumar? Yeah, that's the guy. His phone number's on here. I have never seen that before. That's awesome. No way he's AI. He's got phone number. They don't even have a slot for that on where you went to college or anything.

He manually typed that in. He was like, call me, bitch. I'll tell you about laws.