Quorators - MOST ONLINE MIND w/ Guys Podcast, Internet Comment Etiquette, Kill the Computer, Jesse Farrar, What's All This Then, Brandon Sutton, & Josh Boerman

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

SEVEN INTERNET ANTHROPOLOGISTS COMPETE TO FIND THE 'MOST ONLINE MIND!' Vote here: https://www.patreon.com/Quorators/posts/most-online-mind-168987298 Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators Get even more Quorators @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr

It's finally here the moment you've been waiting for. All around the net, your favorite shows are gathering together to find the most online mind. Now here at the first annual most online mind competition, we will be gathering all of our contestants here on the Quarators podcast slash original YouTube page, wherein you, the listener will go and vote for them and decide, Who on the net so much? Who clicking around on there? After your votes are collected, they will then receive the signature most online mind trophy. This is...

Most are blind bites. Hold on. Hopefully that sounded okay. I'm not putting a gunshot. And then hit the theme song for our show, too, just for good measure. I hope any of that was hearable. We'll find out. Oh, sunlight, mine.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Quaraders, the America's premier top podcast about Quora with your friends, Claire and Alex and Jeremy. Hello. This is a very special episode this week. And before you all write in talking about the weather report and where is it, it's gray today. So enough about that. Oh, wow, we've made a coffin for ourselves to die in. Wait, I have to say what it's like over here.

What's it like over there? Sunny. Nice. Gray and Sunny. Cool. Now, if you're a regular listener to the show, you probably know that we come across a lot of characters here on the Quarator's podcast. Well, after asking around, it turns out people have been coming across characters on all kinds of different shows.

And we've decided to put them all together and see who's found the most special little fella. We're not calling them freaks. We're not calling them. No. We're not calling them freaks. We're not calling them weirdos. It's parentheses nice. It's a nice contest of... It's a celebration of...

Interesting internet users. It's the triumph of the human spirit is what it is. And whoever wins, we will make a trophy for them. And if they are willing to give us their address, we will mail it to them. Yeah, I think you should give me your address. I know it sounds a little bit like we're being creeps about it. You don't have to tell everyone. You just tell me.

You don't even have to tell Claire. You don't even have to tell me. And by the way, don't just send Claire your address before you find out if you win. Because that's not what we're doing here. Not to get distracted. Don't talk to me. I just always think about that guy on Twitter who would message women and be like, hey, it's your birthday. What's your address?

I'll send you a gift. Oh, no. And he just wanted their address. But that's exactly what we're doing. I know. We're nice. I don't want to have sex with anybody who has a podcast. I do, but I'm keeping that out of this.

Also, just to clarify up top, I had a nice shirt, and I forgot to put in my bag. So I biked over in this one, and this is what's happening. Alex comes to my apartment every week, drenched and sweat, and then he takes a huge shit in my toilet. And I take a bathroom to sink. Yeah, so it's... I rubbed myself with the sink water, and then I do the podcast. It's straight up smelly house here in the studio today. Anyway, we got a great way to start it off, so you're going to be voting.

on your favorite one of these. The Quarader's submission is not in the running because this is our show, so that would be unfair to the other contestants. Because we put him up the floor with them. But luckily, just to set the tone, we have a character in mind.

If you are a long-term listener of the show again, you may remember this figure from two years ago. He is a creator of his own space and original fighting style. This is Sidewinder from Quora.com.

I think this is pre-Clair. I don't think Claire are you around for Sidewinder. Sidewinder sounds familiar, but that could be a lot of other guys I'm thinking of. Sidewinder is a guy who has a snake for a profile picture. This bio says several serious attempts on my life and defending against many other assorted attacks, starting from about third grade on, first attempt on my life. None were successful. No training available.

just did my own thing out of necessity. I mean, this is ringing a bell. This could be anybody. At his job is Survivor. Now, I rewatched the episode with him in it just to make sure I wasn't repeating any of this stuff. And Claire, you were not on the show. We might have talked about him, though.

He's just a cool guy who taught us how to fight. I was there in spirit. Claire was actually just a young ninja turtle who was taught by Sidewinder in the Sewers of New York. Now Sidewinder's main thing is he is developing a fighting style that would allow a senior citizen to defeat three to four assailants simultaneously. And that's going to be a form of cobra slash asp kung fu. He's very clear. And also a magic technique named Doc Kim Mock, I think.

Jeremy, pull up the dock here that I had up. It is a dim mock, and that is a form of ninja technique that he has not learned but was on Quora. asking around looking for someone to teach him. And he's clear that he hasn't really had any training or, like, ever really worked out. But one time he went to the gym when he was very sick and did the whole stack of weights on the, quote, back machine. So he's just built different like that. He's so cool. Who's trying to kill this guy?

Everyone. Other kids on the playground, it sounds like. Starting third grade onward. What was it an adult who tried to kill him? And he just, like, karate chopped him in half. I figured it was like a three ninjas adult attack and child situation. I could see that.

Yeah, I could see that. He's been sidewinded. A good way to start with sidewinder's body of work here is his top question. So click on that. Okay, so you want me to go to his questions or? I had it up on the, I have everything on this talk.

Okay, you know this one. On the doubt. The part that says top question. Got it. Whatever, man. It's your first day here. It's not in order. For listener, he put it in.

a different order. You're all nice. This is his top question is, what is the best martial arts for an old man facing two to four opponents, parentheses, throws, holds, and joint locks not practical? Is it possible to use pressure points

on the move as opposed to a hold? This is his question? This is his question. The thread is like 40 people going, this is impossible. You cannot do this. I love that he's an old man. I feel like that's crucial to sidewise.

He has another long post that we did already cover on the show, so I didn't want to do that one, where he explains he's 55 going on 25, so you don't know if he's young or old, but I think he's like an old fit man. Should we read his dim mock one? Yeah, so this is where he's looking for a ninja to teach him techniques. Okay. This is... Do you want to read this, Claire? Sure. The truth about dim mock and the truthful name.

I knew a ninja once. Don't bother. I don't give a damn if anyone. believes that. So critics and trolls go find easier targets for your malice and bull. I take a small risk in posting this. So respect to the true ninja, specifically the Koga Ryu, any who still remain, but also including both faction slash family lines and any master of it.

It was the only actual closest thing to martial arts training by a teacher I have had. This person's family was a family line of ninja from the Koko Riu region. This person had developed some kind of dementia and had moved to America for whatever treatment or arrangements. So his judgment and reflection was not sound in that he should not have been giving away the secrets of his family and faction, especially the dangerous information he gave me from the start. I'm going to say, yeah. This is such a funny way to be like, I know the secrets of the ninja because I found one with dementia. Due to a shipping error kind of mistake, he taught me all of his ninja secrets.

He thought I was his son, but I was sidewinder. I killed his son on the playground. It's also, I feel like if we don't spend enough time on this guy, you should know, like, this is one of the accounts that's definitely, like, not parody. This is definitely like a guy. Oh, for sure. This is a real guy.

Looking to find a ninja who will Zoom train him. And once again, he is old. Yeah, he's old. So that's he wants to know as an old. guy how to kill. Three to four people at once. Yeah. Okay, great. And he learned secrets from a demented

guy. A demented ninja. Who told him things that he wasn't supposed to say. Maybe it's a woman. I feel like demented ninjas aren't as quiet as they should be. Yeah. Natives are very quiet. Demented ninjas are meant to be seen and not heard. That's fact. There was

looking in the wrong drawers. Making a lot of noise. Such knowledge. was supposed to be secret. This was in the 1970s before the internet. But in any case, definitely not something to be taught to a new student

with no prior experience. He belonged to Cocoa Review, School of Coco Faction, Japanese characters. He told me, taught me things that to this day I did not, do not see published on the internet or anywhere else, which continues to amaze me and show me that he was the real thing.

What I am personally seeking here is actually just the proper spelling of the full name as he gave it to me. He just wants to know how to spell it. The full true name is not just demach, which to me seems to be a shortened, almost slang version of the name, the true name possibly obscured by decades or

ages of time past or possibly just linguistic laziness. The name he taught to me was Demo Duquan, which may be technically misspelled here. Oh, this is long. They're all long. I ask that any true

master or student contact me about the correct English translation spelling. I would also like to learn properly under a master, but I'm pretty certain there is no master within a hundred miles of me. You got lucky once, buddy. How many demented ninjas are you going to stumble upon? He thought your house was a McDonald's. You should at least go to Japan, I think.

Yeah, you're not going to get him in Arkansas or wherever you are. It's just not going to happen. The end of this is good. That's a true danger of Denmark. one curious should avoid any sorcerer person who starts off translated the name and saying it. It means something like, which is sure in education that they speak from almost a complete ignorance. Oh. It has been allegedly properly translated as pressing of the arteries.

Pressing arteries is not the best translation, as it is not temporary move without the direct intent of harm, similar to pain compliance tactics. So this is like pressure points. He's crazy for pressure points, and at one point he describes choking someone out as a a pressure point, which I thought was funny. Yeah, I guess that's a pressure point. It's also, it's just very specific to be like, I want to know the true name of this. Don't tell me what it is or I'll know you're lying.

Few people know that the artery in your neck is actually a pressure point and you can press it with the bullet from a gun. It carries all your air in that point. There's actually a conservative speaker that happened to about a year ago. I'm forgetting his name. Oh, he was Koga Ryu, though, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Charlie, Kirk, Selman.

True Chuck Kirk. True challenge of Jimenez. Hitting a point that may be as small as the tip of a finger, and sometimes at the perfect angle on a random person, as we human beings are not all anatomically perfect copies, with the added complication of some people having a lot of body fat and or wearing heavy clothes or, say, a leather jacket, et cetera. is for a true master of the art, as otherwise it would effectively be a Hail Mary move on anything but the simplest and easiest points targets.

On the other hand, anyone doubting the effectiveness of the Dementor Duquan is just plain ignorant. It keeps going. Jeremy has revealed another 1,000 words. Do you want us it take over, Claire? I can't keep reading. There are many moves and attacks that are similar, but with a much more humane intent and methods such as pain, compliance, moves, etc., That nerve or nerve bundle you may press for pain compliance. What happens if you destroy that nerve at that point, eh?

For maybe 50 to 70% of all points targets cannot be used effectively by any but a master. I know much of this, but I am no master. Because I did not receive proper full training, but was given the most dangerous knowledge by someone who, again, lacked proper judgment due to some form of dementia. So I literally know just enough to be dangerous as they sin. I will say my grandpa had dementia, and once the more dementia, he, more demented, I guess, the way to say it, but it feels weird. It feels mean. Well, it's the literal.

The more demented he got. The more he just wanted to talk about being in the war in Korea. The more secrets you got. For real, this. So that's kind of what's been happening here. He told me. He should take those to the grave for his clan. He told me some secrets that I should not know about how to fight.

Well, don't challenge Jeremy in a dark jungle. He had a purple heart from twisting his ankle playing basketball. And then was too embarrassed to get the purple heart. And then he tried to get it many, many years later. But the office that had the records of it had burned down. Oh, my God. So it was gone. I just wanted to skip to the last paragraph here.

If I were to demonstrate on someone, it would put them in the hospital and could be an injury that an emergency room and even many medical specialists would not understand due to its nature. And due to the fact that such medical professionals have never dealt with such an injury, making the necessary medical treatment difficult. If any true master of this discipline or a member of the Koka Riu clan ends up reading this, I respectfully request you consider contacting me. Otherwise, my goal here is simply to confirm the proper spelling of the English translation of the full name. On this, I would appreciate from anyone who really knows. So again, looking for a ninja to teach me on Zoom or failing that, just how I say this dang thing, because it is long. This is from three years ago, this post, and it has 38 views. He's retired from his Quora career after around two years ago, I think because he kept asking directly for Ninjas to teach him and no one was like reaching out.

And then eventually was killed by one. There's at least- He's bragging quite a bit about knowing secret ninja stuff. He's kind of like talking a lot of school. And then he mysteriously stopped posting. Yeah. Wait, that's a good point. He might have been eliminated with a garrie.

despite his incredible techniques. It's just kind of grim to have posted such a long thing that got no views. Like no one saw it but us. Well, that happens for all kinds of fighting professionals. We're boosting this. Hashtag boost this. Hashtag boost this and juice this. At Hunter Biden, juice this.

Okay, this. And then up-pointing emoji. There's just one more post I wanted to read because I thought this was like a fandom question. But he has a long thread about how to make a hydrogen. plasma cannon. Oh my God. Oh my God. This isn't under a question or anything, but it's just a post that says, Hydrogen plasma cannon tips and ideas, please. Note, I don't care for any intellectual trolling, people doubting my abilities, claiming I'm going to get myself killed, et cetera, et cetera. If that is your sentiment, keep it to yourself. This also might have been what killed him.

Building it hydrogen plasma cannon, I want to fire a ball of hydrogen plasma or do similar. I am thinking about using a fine powder mix that can foster static electricity or hold a charge, possibly something with magnetic properties. The hydrogen, oxygen, and fine powders are injected slash blown into the combustion chamber and ignited. The mix not able to be fully combusted in the chamber, fires out of the bore, traveling whatever distance while still charged and burning. The real challenge is getting the particulate mass to remain in a consistent mass or ball as it travels. Any ideas? Any ideas? And no one had any ideas. David S. Tompkins. Any, any Questions?

Oh, wait, there's one comment. This is a guy who's meeting them halfway here. Yeah, some guy says, look, if you're really serious about this, I suggest to at least start by reading up on existing literature on the subject. Wow, he told him to read a book. Do the reading. Do the work. So he sent him some news.

Don't just go on core and ask how to make plasma gun. You've got to do the work. You got to go to grad school. You got to get a ninja to teach you. You have to join DSA. Organize. What is this last one you put, Alex? Oh, this is his, I don't know if this is the same fighting style or a different fighting style.

He invented, this is Gakusari, and it has its own philosophy. This is, I mean, it's just a lot more to talk about, but it's a fighting style that makes you able to break a sword or wooden beam. He says to use Kusari is to hold a tiger by the tail. They're absolutely vicious, dangerous to even their own master. So you might hurt yourself doing this. Yeah, it's like, the challenge is to not injure yourself, unlike many weapons. It can also be a master, the master. A swordsman's sword really turns to attack its master.

Cusari are unforgiving. Google Gakusari and see if this is like a weapon or something. Also, just modern Gukusari, such as I have created, are twice as dangerous, able to break wooden beams and even swords. Can we also Google a hydrogen plasma gun? At some point, we have to start the show. I'm just looking on Google and I'm seeing Wait a minute I'm seeing food

No no no no no no no what is that though That is some kind of double beam weapon on a chain I think that whatever it is he made it up He made up a version of the double weapon on a chain This is before he made his hydrogen plasma rifle He started with a Gakusari in case they get close It looks like a piece of jewelry A non-binary person would wear

Hey, I didn't say it. You got to be on the YouTube to really appreciate that, but it's spot on. It's essentially nunchucks. It's nonchucks. Okay, well, that's our submission. That is our most online mind, sidewinder. I'll Google Hydrogen Plasma gun myself. Yeah, do the research.

Do the work. All right. RTFM. With no further ado, I believe it is time to start the competition. Yes. Let's start. with a submission here from the guys podcast, a podcast about guys. That's interesting.

Hello, Corridors fans. How are you? I'm Brian from the guys podcast. And I'm my friend Chris James with me. Yeah, I'm Chris. I say your name before you talk. Sorry, boss. And I just wanted to say, I guess there's some voting that happens here.

Uh, vote for Pedro. Remember of, we don't talk, Paul. politics on this show. Ever from, what's it called Napoleon Dynamite? Yeah. Movie. That brings back some memories for me. Watching that movie, having a laugh and everything.

But no, seriously, if you don't vote for us for this, I don't know what the prize is, but I like to win. And if you don't vote for us, then I'll, I will kill you and your family. Well, and then they, would they get us being us? and now they're just going to hate us from whatever's left. Well, they wanted, uh, the, uh, Jeremy texted me or DM me. I don't know why it made the difference between those two things. Yeah, I'm sorry I said I was going to kill you and your family. You're fine. It's fine. You're going to do that.

I'm sorry I said that. He's going to do it. I was way out of the line saying that. Let's get to our guy. That's where we're here. Acting. Yep. They said they want one of our guys. And I think one of our best guys, I mean, we have such a collection of them. Uh, but the best guy we ever found was Tony Kay, who's a Yelp guy from Vancouver, British Columbia. From my city of origin where I live Vancouver, we think he's, he's dead. We think he's deceased, much like God rest his soul, much like you and your feet,

you can maybe go say hi to him if you don't vote for us. You and your family. No, we think he's deceased because he hasn't posted, but he could have just gone off Yelp, but he was an old guy when he was posting. Yeah, you can tell. You can tell that he's an old guy. When we start talking, when we read a guy, because we're just going to read a few of his reviews,

because they said they wanted to get to know him, you know, the flying pig. D.C.S. in, Gavre and Gastown. Yep, it's in Gastown, actually, but Gastown, whatever, you know. I think there is one in Gastown.

There's one in Yaltown. This one he went through. Two stars. I used to love this place. Not anymore. To be fair, I used to go at lunchtime, and it was pleasant. Went for dinner and didn't realize it turns into one of those bars.

where the rock music is not only played but played loudly. I asked the waitress to please change the music or put the volume down. She said she would, but she didn't. She's a lot. Sorry, you can't appeal to one sense, taste and do a good job on it, but butcher me on another sound. Now, this is the first review. No, he said sound. Another sound. Oh, he did. Sound. He's butchered me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah so he's he's he's he's got a point it's a full sense sensory experience going to a restaurant and like just because the food's great doesn't mean that i'm supposed to say it's good here well this is first problem he hates loud rock and roll music that he does not like finds that a lot of places play loud rock and roll music and as someone who lives in mancumer has been to this place i'm not sure it doesn't

i've never found it to be particularly loud or even really rock music i think everything think to him is rock music. I feel like when I go to Vancouver, I'm not hearing loud rock music all the time. I mean, I'm sure there are places to play it, but I don't hear it at the restaurants. Clubs and stuff like that and like bars, but he's going to like restaurants where it's just like you know what you go to a restaurant and they're playing music. Yeah, I have a feeling he just like they're playing Huey Lewis and he's mad. Yeah. This is straight out of Brooklyn, New York City pizzeria. And it's all, this is crazy to me. This was the one I remember. This is one star. Yeah. Chris. I asked for a cup of tap water with my meal. No, we don't have any cups, they said.

Okay, I'll take your bottled water, but I can't drink cold water, but they only had refrigerated water. They offered me the demo bottle, which is displayed outside the fridge, but it was cold, too. Just from proximity. It was picking up proximity, coolness. from being too close to the fridge. I want, I need one that's in the back. I want, can you put it in the microwave or have it beside the oven perhaps? Like a baby bottle, microwaveing it like a little baby bottle. Because I don't mind paying a buck or two for water, but not for cold liquid,

which upsets my stomach. And they weren't willing to go to. That's the crazy part is it's not like a tea thing. He doesn't have sensitive teeth. It's the cold water upsets his stomach, which maybe is a thing, but I've never heard of it before. Not for me. think it would be better for your stomach, but he goes, they weren't willing to go to the stock room to get a room temperature bottle. They might not have one. I will say a lot of people keep their

water refrigerated. It's a place, you know, they're usually a big refrigerator and you would put the water there, you know. Prior to COVID, they used to have self-served water on a counter. Hey, charge me 25 cents for a cup. I'll be happy to tip you for going to the trouble of filling the up, but please don't force me to drink ice water. Like I said, great pizza, lousy water policy. So that, I mean, that pretty much sums them up. Yeah. I mean, those are his two. Do you want you have one more of you? Uh, we'll get another one up here because I won't, I, I had hoped to find one and listen, we've read all of his reviews and our life. So here we go. Two stars, Sal E Limon. This is our last. I used to go here all the time. I just,

went here the other day actually. This is one of my favorite Mexican places, actually. This is the first time I've been to this restaurant. I had the Cubana Torta, which was very good. Okay, great. So it should be, so it's a good review then. And it wasn't too pricey either, about $11. Yeah, no, they're reasonably priced for sure. Service was fast and the servers were pleasant. I would have given four stars, but the music was so loud. Oh, no. It ruined the entire experience. for me. Why do restaurants feel they have to bombard us with such loud music? I don't mind the selection. It was Mexican and was pleasant enough. But my head was swimming after only five minutes,

and it didn't let up. Look, you're going to the trouble to cater to my sense of taste, and you're doing a pretty good job of it. And on the basis of the taste, the price and the surroundings, I'm almost amenable to returning. So kudos for three or five senses, taste, smell, and sight, but hearing the volume was so loud that it negated the positives you got it. And other senses. He reviews things on senses. He's a sense reviewer and it's not loud. It's normal restaurant. This one I can say for certain because I go I went there all the time even at the time when he was reviewing this. I was going all the time and I still go now and it's very normal restaurant level music. Yeah. So yep, that is a, uh, I think the last thing I would do is

Mench's Jewish delicatition is a one star. It's very unmentch-like. It was with great anticipation that I went there. A few places in the city could boast authentic pastrami. And by all appearances, for example, the photos and descriptions here on Yelp, Mench's had it. Alas, it was not to be. Arriving, I placed my order at the counter for a full pastrami sandwich. At $16, yes, it's expensive.

But if the quality's there worth every cent, then the cashier asked me what I wanted to drink. and I responded just tap water, but replied the cashier, we cannot give you tap water because of the liability issues or some such nonsense. My alternative? Presumably the mineral water available from the menu for $2. No way. I do not mind shelling out $16 for a sandwich. As I said, assuming the quality is there, it's worth it. But I refuse to be gouged for an additional $2 because they won't provide me with tap water, chlorine and all. I don't mind it. I don't like surprises or sneakie. attempts to pad my bill. So I walked out. Not only will Mentches never get my business, but I'll make it my business to spread the word of my experience to my fellow foodies. Munches should rename itself, the gougers. So another water problem. And, you know, if you go

to look at Tony Kay from Vancouver's reviews, there's plenty of them. He will be mad about water and music. There's a theme to it. It's either loud rock music or the water's too cold. and those are the two main things that have, that possibly drove him to a early grave. He died. He died from Loud Rock. He died from Loud Rock. His ears started to bleed.

And then they said, oh, quickly, get this man some water. And he said, no, only warm tap water. And then he died. All right. Thank you for listening to us. Bye. We were fine. Okay.

Bye. Bye. Wow. Wow. Two dead guys in a row, huh? Well, I guess we don't know this. Sidewinders dead. But we can assume he's dead.

We could assume he was killed by a dead show. Now tell me if I'm talking out of school here, but I'm pretty sure the cold water thing is like an Asian health thing. There's a whole thing about not drinking cold water if you're sick. Yeah, warm water is ideal or room temperature. It's just generally better for you. I don't think I've heard anybody say like, it will make you sick if you are not sick already. And then that guy died. So maybe there is something to that. Maybe that's what it was.

I kind of think if you don't let yourself have the cold water when you do have it, it's so shocking to your system that it might just shut you down. Also, people who like regularly review restaurants in their neighborhood are deranged. Is there any, like, even if you're doing good reviews, I feel like it's crazy. He said he liked the food and still gave it a bad review. That's so fucked up. For musical reasons. It's like when people give bad tips for bad surface. I give 20% bid of them. You can spit in my food and I give you 20%. That's an, it's an antiquated notion.

It's from before times. Yes. I do appreciate that Tony Kay had bad reviews of all kinds of restaurants. So there wasn't like a prejudice towards Cuban people. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, I was surprised there was no sort of racist undertone. It felt very open-minded. I bet if you dig.

No. I mean, look, not till I think. I mean, rock music is. sort of ethnic in its own way. It is. Not to like put, you know, obviously you were saying maybe there's like some sort of Asian element with the water. I'm going to maybe try to claim this guy.

He went to at least one Jewish place. I also went to the Brooklyn Pizzeria. I think this guy's a Jew. I think he's one of my people. He's upset about the water being a little too cold. Okay. The loud rock music. It's not for me to comment on such things.

I'm going to say. I would need to know exactly the blood type of his mother. before I put him in any kind of box there. We should watch another one of these. It's also important to remember, these are submissions from people who are not on Quora, so they're not automatically racist. Right.

Like all of the guys we find. Like, we're like when you're driving on the highway and then you get onto a regular road and you're like still going too fast, that's what we're feeling like, why isn't this guy racist enough? And a lot of people listen to our show are in a car, so they know what they're talking about.

Speaking of which, by the way. We're doing laundry. I think most people, Wissid is, obviously to do it on a podcast or have them in the background on their computer while they're doing work. Sitting on a couch and watching a podcast, like it's a movie, feels deranged. Oh, it's a lot of fun. I felt crazy. You don't get popcorn out right now.

Just staring at Chris and Brian. To give you an idea of what it's like, it's like when you're doing laundry and you go to load the dryer, but you accidentally take something that you need to hang up. All right. I'm going to move on to another guy. I guess that's, I know that feeling. Yeah, that's what it's like. That's what it feels. We all know that feeling.

When? And then you put your wife's dress in the dryer and she is like, Oh, you ruined my dress. Let's go to another most online mind submission from Mr. Jesse Farrar. That's for the best. Hey, Quaraders. I wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine. Well, actually, I shouldn't say he's a friend because I don't know his name or if he's

evil or anything like that. But he has some funny videos. His TikTok account is at Just Me 65294. And he makes stuff like this. Are you making meatloaf tonight? After you're done taking your shit, I'll start the meatloaf. I'll be out of the bathroom in a minute. I'm going to take your big 7-inch turd, and I'm going to bake it at 350 for two hours.

You said my meatloaf tastes like shit. Why is his eyes like that? We're this. We call the gas company. They'll be here somewhere around noon. Oh, okay. baby, I'll wait for the gas man. Yeah, because I know there was a gas leak. I smelt a gas leak, so I called the...

Oh, baby, no, no, no, you don't understand. Um, last night... Last night I had gas, baby. Boi-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-oh. And this? You had two pair of pants on, baby. Quiet. You said we were going golfing.

You mean in case you get a hole in one? No, in case you want to stick your golf club up my ass. And this. Got the tennis rackets? Did you grab the balls? I put the rackets in the car. I'm waiting for you to bring your balls. I want you to grab the balls.

I'll grab your balls. I'll grab you nuts. You bastard. He's also something of a singer, which I think is pretty cool. Jingle bells, jingle. Your asshole smells, your asshole smell. Jingle all the way. Jiggle your balls all the way down my mouth, down my throat.

In my ass. Fuck bad. Take me out to the ball game. Take me straight to the bedroom. Buy me some peanut. I'll suck on your nuts. Buy you some crack. And then you can eat my crack.

Like any good comedian, he likes to experiment with the form a little bit as well. Why do you have a sore throat, baby? From eating your ass last night, baby. Your throat doesn't sound sore to me. Oh yeah? Fuck me. I'm here to get my test results back. Go have a seat in the waiting room.

the doctor will be out in a minute. Your waiting room is full. Please be discreet. I don't like anyone to know my business. No problem, sir. My name is Jim, Jim Mcweeney. Will Jim McQueenie come to the front? Come to the front of the line here.

Mr. Mcweeney, your test, venereal test, came back positive. And you also have ass cancer. Now, with these guys, sometimes you worry. like, oh, I really think these guys are funny, but are they bad guys? And, you know, I don't know him, really, but some of his other videos seem to paint a picture of like a pretty nice guy who, I think, works at a dry cleaners. Blow out the candles. We're going to celebrate now.

Birthday here. That's good. Got some cake. Madelo. Nice. And he's got a cat. So maybe he's a real sweet art, you know. I will say though His comedy can be kind of dark When I play him on stream I really like how tense He makes the chatter

is with his somewhat Unorthodox setups Is there a black person here? Is there a black person here? I'm not sure If there's a black person here Wait, let me look around There's the black purse

Told you there was a black person They say going out with me. miners is illegal. Now, I don't plan on going out with young girls, because that's against a law. But is it okay if I go out with a West Virginia coal

miner? Yeah, it's all. Hi, I'm here to fuck you. Oh, baby. No, I'm here to give sperm to the sperm bank. Why don't you make a deposit in my ass? Wow. Any good comedian,

even a TikTok comedian, has to know where their humor comes from, you know, to have this basis in history. And he seems to have an awareness of old street jokes or like kind of Borch-Belt stuff. But he does add his own unique twist. Doctor, I'm having some personal issues. Can you prescribe something? I see the problem. I see it right through your shorts.

I'm going to prescribe my coxof-flopping. Then will you fuck me? Then will you fuck-f-f-fh-fh-fh-fh-fhhhh-ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Fuck me. Will you fuck me? My brother's a karate expert. He went into the army. And the first time he saluted, he killed himself.

I went back to my old neighborhood, and I saw my old house, and I went up to the door. I knocked on the door. And they answered, I said, hi, I used to leave here. Can I come in? And my mother said, get out of here. Admittedly, he does have a punchline or style that he likes to return to, which I think is good. It's like a signature. And he uses that here.

Babe, why do you have the car window open? It's freezing. Do you want me to honestly tell you? No, lie to me. Of course tell me. Because I just shit my pants and I farted and I can't stand the smell. Fuck me, you bastard. Babe, I went upstairs and I went in the bathroom, but the light was out, but I had to go really bad, so I lowered my pants and sat down on the bowl.

But I felt something about eight inches go up my ass. The light is out because the electrician is working on it, and he told me he was in the middle of taking a shit. Did you go in there and sit down on his heart on? Fuck me, you bastard. Baby, why are there flies near your ass? Because I just took a shit, and I didn't wipe my ass that good. Why didn't you wipe your shitty ass? Fuck me!

Give me a broccoli. Okay, well, so he does go back to that a few times, and that's great, but with any guy like this, you're going to not just want the singles, the doubles, the triples, you're going to want the home runs as well. and I think he does have a couple. And cheese, baked potato from Wendy's baby. That's going to make you fart all night. Broccoli gives you gas. That's the whole idea, so you sleep on the couch.

Cocksucker! Put these drugs in your asshole. We're going into the jail. They won't check you, baby. You want me to shove these drugs up my ass? Hurry, we're going into the jail. I don't want to get caught. Oh.

Okay, line up to come into the jail to visit your loved ones. Women first. Ma'am, come over here. You're the first in line. Check her asshole. Fuck me. Put these drugs in a war. Okay, well, anyways.

I hope you enjoyed his videos. That's just me, 65-294. Check him out on TikTok. And as for me, I think I got to go now. Fuck me, fuck me, you bastard. Wow. That was crazy. Thank you to Jesse and to

6-5-294. At this point in the podcast, we should mention that was a very visual submission. And if you weren't watching, that was an old white man with glowing white eyes. With Hobson's eyes. But also, when he would cut to the woman character, he was using TikTok filters with like crazy big lips.

Like big lips, big eyes. Sometimes she was really ugly. Sometimes she was very sexy. I just, I love sketch comedy. If you couldn't see that, I have no idea what the last eight minutes. I think you could tell. You can tell he's, because his voice work is so good. You can tell when he's switching between the man and the woman who are, I assume, married.

I have this like unsettled feeling in my stomach after watching that. Like I had like four liters of orange soda or something. Like I feel like really strong right now. I feel like I just, I don't know if Jesse's ever put these. on YouTube but YouTube's really good at being like hey someone took one of your videos and put it in a longer so he'll buy this probably and kill us well he doesn't have to kill all of us he could just maybe kill one I just worry I'll one day I'll smell something oh what is that and then I'll turn around and he'll go I just shit my pants just shit my my boner the one where he

sits on the electrician's boner yeah come on how did he not see there's a lot of I was really impressed with his character work. Sometimes he did three characters in one video. And just like the sort of the speed at which you have to change filters is just impressive. It's like a one man. And he's clearly driving a laundry truck. Is that what it is? I think he's driving a van to deliver laundry from the laundry matty works out.

I think it's like a tiny bus. Claire, you worked for S&L as a writer. Do you think any of these would fit with? like one of the hosts so i think like would tom hanks be good for maybe like the woman in some of these yeah because that would be funny and he could do a similar voice right because the woman talks like this i'm gonna shit your meat off i remind him tom hanks really likes that yeah definitely and he's one of their most recurring guests i'm glad i've made two references to tom hanks on s&L this episode already got him on the brain i know okay um let's do uh this next one

from Juniper from Kill the Computer. Hey, June here from the Killed the Computer podcast. The online champion we're sending off to you guys is a guy that calls himself the number one victim of crime. His real name, Garanko Petrosi, got his star online in 2005. He seems to believe that most, if not all major historical tragedies are engineered by some unknown international crime ring and that he alone has discovered that these crimes are being telegraphed with codes in words associated with each tragedy.

For example, the tragedy that tipped him off to this international crime ring was the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, a horrific event that killed over 200,000 people. When looking at the word tsunami, he was able to derive a code that proves it was engineered. I'm going to do my best to describe some of his work in this diagram, so please bear with me, and hopefully it'll all make sense. The T in tsunami stands for trust and top nuclear. The S in tsunami stands for the S in USA and the word sues. The U in tsunami stands for the U in the aforementioned USA and the U in the previous word sues.

The N in tsunami stands for the nuclear in the aforementioned top nuclear and the word north. The A in tsunami stands for America and the A in the now twice previously. mentioned USA. The M in tsunami stands for the letter M in the aforementioned America that the A stood for and the word mission. Finally, the I in tsunami stands for Indonesia, which he lists two separate times. Hopefully the curator crew has this diagram up while I'm describing this, because it's absolutely unhinged and makes no sense at all, but it's phenomenal. I just, I love it so much. He has created hundreds of different code diagrams just like this one, that he has discovered over the last two decades,

some being about the 2010 Haiti earthquake, one about 9-11, of course, several about the COVID pandemic, and many more that he alone has discovered. As if he wasn't awesome enough already, he's also made some works of musical genius that he uploads on his SoundCloud. He's also gotten involved in the NFT craze

that happened back in 2021 and uploaded some of these diagrams that I mentioned before and some very strange selfies of himself that you can buy with some actual real money through crypto for some reason. In 2022, he was going through a child custody battle with his ex-wife lost and then created a change.org petition with the title, Reverse Appeal Court's denial of child custody for number one victim of crime in the world. And in it, he talks about how he's the only person in the world advocating against two genocides that are being mislabeled as natural disasters. After laying out his activism on this change.org petition, he writes, Garanko had his child stolen from him a week before he was born using law enforcement and guns.

His child is now almost six years old and Geranko only sees his son at a visitation center for 1.5 hours every two weeks. He went into court in November 2nd, 2021, and the judge at Santa Rosa County, Florida denied his motion to have child custody and overnight visits and also didn't modify the $1,200 monthly child support payment. Granco has been working 60 to 80 hours per week after he lost his source of income at the beginning of COVID and cannot endure working so many hours for 2.5 years straight to keep up with these large payments. He spent between $15,000 to $20,000 on attorney fees for the trial and paperwork between the trial and appeals court and still got denied.

After the Santa Rosa County judge denied his rights, Garanko O'Penco, O'Pee's. appealed at the First District Court, which also denied his appeal. The denial of the case needs to be overturned, and Granko needs to have the human right to be able to have his child custody changed to be allowed to have his son for overnight visits and for his child support to be reduced. This petition only got 50 supporters. My Kill the Computer co-host, Caleb and I love this guy. He's just a real testament to what online-induced schizophrenia can manifest as, and we hope you love him just as much as we do. See ya. Thank you to June for that wonderful submission.

The tsunami thing is so, you just, that's not how it works. You can't use the same word like six times. The one that made me mad was that the A was for U.S. of A and A was also for America. Because the A is America in U.S.A. Guess what? Just tell me one of those. No, the one that pissed me off the most was M is, is from America. It's like, that's in the fucking middle of the word, asshole.

It made me mad. ad. The part about the crippling dead and legal. Yeah, that kind of buzzed me out. I feel like you kind of have enough on your plate. My ass getting you. But maybe he should win because of that.

Right. This guy needs a W. Oh, new prize. He's living L's. New prize. If you win, you get to see your son. Yeah, we were thinking we were going to send a trophy to like the podcast host who presented the guy.

But I guess like, oh, sure, sure, sure. We could also send money. No, I'm going to, like, get a judge killed in Florida. We're going to seek out the people that you submitted, and we're going to send them cash money so that they could see their son. Or you'll get a funny trophy with, like, a brain on it. You are the most online mind. Congrats you, what. How embarrassing would that be to get that in the mail?

Like, hey, you won an award. You're the weirdest weirdo that somebody gets out. saying he's weird. This is positive. He's interesting. Hey, keep Austin weird. You use the worst acronyms out of anyone we found. So we mailed you a trophy.

You won worst acronym of the year. It's a very specific contest. F stands for a fun guy. R is really cool. E is exceptional. He is actually from the E. and really as well.

Yeah. A is just the letter A. That could be the word, and K is cool with the K sometimes. A is for America and also the last A in America. It's from Ameri KKK. KKK. Sure, Maoism standard English. We're a little more than halfway through here.

We're actually just exactly in halfway. We've got some great stuff coming up. Okay, you ready for this one? This is from Eric from Internet. common etiquette. Hey, Quaraders, Eric here. And my submission to you comes from a video I made back in 2003. I was talking about a Facebook group called Archie Hornie posting, which is where boomers go to share their Archie smut. I mean, we're talking naked Miss Grundy, Betty and Veronica just going at it. This is for bona fide Archie fans to just go and get all horny together.

But in this big Archie orgy, there was an outlier with a profile picture of the Hulk. And sure enough, single Archie horny post. This Hulk person was making up their own fan fiction. That make me thinking of Hulk. That is possibly how much of his afterwards orgasm. He is the Hulk, L.O.L. Various Riverdale girls. Just a bunch of naked chicks in a tub. I would love it even more if the Hulk is there, LOL. And it even became apparent at one point that they had been asked to stop posting about the Hulk, and this is how they responded. Original story, just Betty being so angry at Archie and dumped ice creams on him. Imaginary story. Hulk have his new. needs to relieve his stresses and same time as Archie walked by when Hulk finally comes

and all of his liquid from cucumber accidentally sprayed on Archie, LOL. It's my own fun imagination story, L.O.L. I am not posting Hulk in here because it's not Hulk related, so just Archie here. And I mean, they were in every single post finding new and interesting ways to include the Hulk, make sure that he was jizzing on all of our favorite Riverdale townsfolk. Look at these face, that is a lot and so creamy. I don't think it's from Archie, he's just normal teenager boy and I know normal men can't make that much after they comes.

Maybe Betty and Veronica are a craving for muscle and bigger guy seven feet tall and muscular guy who can shoot much more than Archie? Can you guess who, L.O.L? And like I said, this was from three years ago, so I decided to check back in on Archie horny posting. Veronica and Archie join an alternative lifestyle. There, that should complete the costume.

Archie looks like a gay Nazi, very disturbing. Veronica is my fantasy girl. Get off on her picks. Look at the rack on Veronica. Look at Betty's caboose. And yeah, they're still going strong, but the Hulk person is no longer posting in here. Had they moved on from adding Hulk to unrelated horny posts?

Had they found a new obsession? No, no, here's their page right now. And as you can see from their photos tab, they're very much still obsessed with the Hulk. Although they did change their profile picture to Hulk Hogan when he passed away last year, and then two days later, they just changed it right back to the Hulk. I'm able to move on from H.H.,

and now I'm bringing back Green Hulk. And I think that's beautiful. I mean, how often do we give up on our obsessions, you know, turn our backs on the things that we love? Well, not Hulk person, they stand incorruptible, steadfast, and true. And I just hope that one day they get to fuck the Hulk. Well, thank you for your time. Now, if you don't mind me, I'm going to get back to horny posting. Hey, you guys like this one?

And post. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. It's pregnant, art. All right, well, uh, see ya. Thanks, Eric. Wow. I would like a seven-foot tall guy who shoot much more than Archie. Eric did have pointed out, but the Hulk guy on his own page was posting exclusively the Hulk.

But there was one or two link from The Legend of Zelda. So I guess he just likes green guys in general. Green is what gets him going. The color of money. He called Hulk's penis cucumber. Yeah. That's really smart. At first I thought it was very tasteful that he had removed their name because I thought it was a

Quora post and it was some name like Hulk cum lover right then it was revealed over time that it's similar aesthetics but this is on facebook.com yes that person's name is probably like Dan or something yeah it's like a full legal name which is why I was blurred out wow so I get they'll be listed as Hulk person I don't think fucking the Hulk would be that good oh because he's so rough first all he's so angry you would need to be very sturdy to get away with it second of all he's kind of have like too big a dick. I don't know. Maybe this is propaganda, but I feel like there's such a thing.

There is definitely such a thing. We don't even have the time. We don't have time. Hope, I don't know. Let's just say what it would be possible if the Hulk was bottom. Okay. Now we're talking. A human could do that.

A raucous bottom. You know what? That's odd to me for not even considering the Hulk could be bottom. I guess I'm just, I would worry if I'm fucking the Hulk is a bottom that I'm not. doing my end of it. I'm not exciting the Hulk enough. Because he's the Hulk and I'm regular.

Hulk wants to be busted in. It'd be like, why aren't you as big as a tank or whatever? Stuff like the Hulk. Right, right. Don't make me horny. Hulk horny. You wouldn't like me when I'm horny. Yeah, that writes itself.

That's my secret cap. Well, that's an amazing fine, Eric. Thank you for sending that in. Just the people in the Archie posting are just as bad. The non-Hulk ones who are like, want to fuck Veronica. It's just great. And on Facebook, again, full name, present.

I don't know. It's bold. I have so much respect for that. You want to know what I'm up to after high school? Do you think that they like Riverdale or you think that they're like, it's too realistic? If you're just listening to the show, none of the pictures were from Riverdale. No, it's the 1950s. It's the comics.

Betty and Veronica scissering. Yeah. Yeah. Really good stuff. Again, a lot of visual stuff this episode. Yeah, well, you know, it's the most online mind. It's a hell of a time, the first annual most online mind. Are we doing it again after this?

We're doing it every year. It's the most online minds every year. Online. You're going back to school. It's the beginning of September. Okay, let's do another one of these, yes? Yes. This next one is from Mr. Josh.

Borman from the worst of all possible worlds podcast. I vote yes. Josh on this show, can you believe it? Wow, those will be a first. Hello, Jeremy, Alex, and Claire and all fans of the Quariters podcast. It's your good friend Josh from the worst of all possible worlds and ill-conceived. I'm excited to bring you a guy today. And when I was thinking about who I should bring, I was like, well, should I do sort of a guy from the worst of all possible worlds that we track, one of these weird Christians, or maybe one of the weird natalists who we talk about on ill-conceived? But at the end of the day, I am dedicated to the concept of finding you a true guy who you can really dig into. And for me, this is just a man who has been of personal interest to me because he keeps clogging up my Instagram feed for some reason. This is a man named Mike Fideli. And I think the best way to introduce him is to have him introduce himself.

So here we go. My name is Mike Fidelit. We're here in South Beach. We're here to fix IRS and income tax problems for high net worth. athletes and entertainers. If you have any serious IRS problems, DM me and we'll fix all your problems. So for those of you who are listening on audio, the visual component is really important here. Mike is probably like 60 something, I would say early 60s.

He's wearing these insanely tight pants. And in this particular shot, he's in South Beach, as he says, with his high. profile clients. The women who he appears with in these videos all appear to be escorts of one sort or another, and here he is with them, just cast in this harsh red light. Mike is using his Instagram presence as a way to drum up business for his accounting firm. The way that he presents it is like, I'm an accountant, I do work with high profile celebrity clients and entertainers, you should use me. But his actual I don't know, online presence is, it's strange.

Is it true that if I have a sugar daddy, I have to file for taxes? You have to file your return, but you don't have to pay income tax and the money he gives you because it's a gift. And even if it's over the gift limit, he can exclude it from his lifetime gift tax exemption. He doesn't have to pay taxes on it, which will be gift tax. And you don't have to pay taxes on it, which will be income tax. So here you go. Oh, my God, perfect.

Thanks, Daddy, Mike. You what? So he, like, hires these models and escorts and then makes content with them, and then I think writes the content off on his own taxes. This does not feel like a man who you should be trusting with your money in any way, shape, or form. I'm Mike Fidelity. We're here in Chicago. I'm the CEO of Fidelity Associates.

I'm here with my awesome content team, these beautiful girls. And I just want you know, I didn't give a fuck what you think about me on social. media. I'm rich, I'm famous, and we're taking all of this to another level. Have a great thing. I mean, what more can you say? He's taking it all to another level. And it's definitely some of the most divorced content you've ever seen. And we're going to see in a moment actually that he does indeed seem to have a child, presumably from a past marriage. Here's a little bit more of Mike. men's clothes, men's clothes, in the drawers, all my man's clothes. Wait, I'm so funny. Do you make your bed every morning and stuff?

What's that? You make your bed every morning and stuff. That's good. Listen, this mattress was like almost 4,000. The shoes you wear and your mattress has to be like a number one, because that's two-thirds of your life, are on your shoes and in your bed. The shoes you wear and your mattress are number one in your life. By the way, for those of you not, again, watching visually on the video, what's going on here is Mike is with a few of his girls. These are, of course, Mike's girls.

And they are walking around this bedroom. And this is the most insane bed I have maybe ever seen. And it does not fit in the room. It is fully blocking one of, actually, really both of the doors that are like by the headboard. It's insane. It has to be seen to be believed. really good actually. I like the Chanel boxes in here. Yeah, it's not mine.

Are they, do they happen to be full? No. There's nothing good. There's nothing. There's anyone else straw, thank guys. That was somebody else's family. What are all these boxes? Empty.

Oh. All empty. There's a gap. This? Yeah. Is it to walk through to the other closet? To walk through? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So this is my spot. So. It's really charming. Yeah, thanks. So just wandering aimlessly. I turn into music room. I play music. Nice.

The so-called music room, by the way, is almost completely empty. Just baffling, baffling stuff here. And this is actually the first video of mics that I saw. But like I said, he also has a son, a child from previous marriage. And as pathetic as all of this, I don't think there's anything more pathetic than the bit of content that he made about going to his son's wedding, which I think is the next video on this playlist. If not, there's one more of him just being really cool. Oh, this one. Oh, this one.

As long as everything looks good from behind, because I like hitting it from behind. You can get the push you to grab you better when you're going from behind. Really cool guy. Anyway, he, like I was, that that is not the one of him at his son's wedding. This is the one of him at his son's wedding. This is the one of him at his son's wedding. This is before he gives this speech at the wedding reception. Made to my son's wedding. Everything's good. They're married. I'm happy. And I'm about to give a little speech and drop a little scratch on my son.

Just a little. You know it's not going to be a little because I'm a Italian. And we go big or we go home. Talk to you later. I'm sure you're wondering, did he record any of that? speech. Surely this man would not be goshe enough to record himself giving a speech at his son's wedding reception where he talks about how much money he's going to give him. Surely he wouldn't do such a thing. And I put him in a CD for at 4% that rolled it over every six months for the last

15, 14 years. And I just cast it in a month ago. And I want to turn that over to you, James. He walks over with this check in hand to the bride and groom's table. Unfold the check. You want to read with this check says? Come on. You can see his son fucking face palming next to his bride. This man, I think I'm just going to leave you here with one last video. This was as of recording the most recent video he's uploaded.

I think Mike, fame, the fame that he's started to achieve, the sort of ironic fame that has now come downstream of him being a somewhat successful influencer that people, of course, are all making fun of. I don't know how well he's taking it. And if this video is any indication, we might be in for a bumpy ride. I'm out every fucking woman on only fans. If you want to put a moratorium on her for one year, she's going to be groveling and crawling back to you because. her bank account is going to be empty. You might fucking get canceled for this shit. And that's it.

Like, just put one year on it. They're going to be groveling back at you. They're going to be crawling back in your... They're going to be crawling back trying to grab your dick. And you're going to say, sorry, bitch. Sorry, bitch. Sorry. And only fans will be over.

Only fans will be over in one year. Over. Over. You think these bitches can last one year? They can't even last fucking two months. I don't really know how he intends to win more of these high net worth clients. You know, these models on only fans who presumably would be bringing him in his millions of dollars that he's definitely making. I don't know.

I think Mike's got a bumpy road ahead of him, but he's certainly a guy. And I hope that you've enjoyed my submission for the tournament of guys. Again, this is your friend Josh from ill-conceived in the worst of all possible worlds, wishing you a good one. And happy voting, everybody. Guys is a different show. Although they are in the competition. And this one was a man. What a monopoly they have on that word.

It's so smart. It's such a common word. I know. It's like picking the first word in the dictionary for your business. They're so smart. Alphabet. Because coordinator started slightly before guys, but I feel like they've completely laughed us in just the terminology there.

I mean, the feedback we get a lot is I don't understand what your title means. Right. That's true. That's one of the most common words I do. You should check out this show. It's no guys. But you know it's crystal clear? Most online mind.

I agree. Absolutely. I agree. It's the mind that's most online. Now, it does shorten to mom, unfortunately. I like that. Mombie. People like their mom.

The vote, I think, could be which one you think is the most internet poisoned, or it could be the one that you just like the most. It's up to you. Let's talk about this guy, Mike, from Italy, but now in America. Oh, man. What his scheme was to have the only fan models come back to him? I think he's just mad. I don't really know.

He was yelling in traffic. He gets so... I'm so happy I have a regular dad, you know? That was really hard to watch the wedding. That was really tough. The son had his whole head, like, buried. If my dad was yelling about fucking bitches in the front seat of a car, I just don't know what I'd do. I mean, the only thing that I feel, I feel a little weird, because it is his full name

on display, but also he did make that whole video about how he doesn't care what we say on social media because he's famous. So actually it's... I'm not rich or famous. No, you're not like Mike. And how many only fans models have you ruined? Almost none. I'm not that like...

I'm not saying that like everyone has disposable income to get like a fancy mattress or whatever. And they should. But almost $4,000 for a mattress is not a lot of money for a rich guy, I don't think. Well, yeah, well, you could have it like with a fine goose. feathers. I went to a mattress store recently and like the cheapest ones were like 2000.

They're quite expensive. Yeah. Mattresses are very expensive. I'm just saying if you're like a millionaire, that's like not that much of a brag. So spend that much money on shoes is a whole other thing. That's a lot of money. Because shoes don't often scale that high unless they're like rare, you know, collectors items. And I think the third item he should have talked about if it's a third of your life on the mattress and a third of your life on the shoes. The third thing is a chair. Like a fine, like a throne. I was going to say toilet. Yeah.

Claire and I are both locked it on toilet. Yeah. It is a sort of throne. A nice toto. And if you're a rich guy, you're going to eat a lot of nasty foods. You're probably spending more time on that toilet. Oh, yeah. That guy looks like he strains on a daily basis.

His veins are popping out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's pretty, like, skinny, but he looks like he's had work done of some kind. He's definitely trying to fuck those girls, too, right? I assume he is. He's definitely not fucking them. He's paying them a lot of money. He's paying them to be in videos, but you can tell that they're like, get me out of this bedroom.

It's just, he's not fucking. There's a whole economy of women who you could pay to fuck. You're not. You'd be surprised. It's maybe the oldest profession. Yeah, you got to look into this. It's called a sex worker. It's someone who works.

Fair enough. Fair enough. I just feel like he just seems so desperate in the video where he's like, and this is my nice mattress. and they're like, get me out of this room. You don't think he's even more desperate to get fucked? If you're right. He will pay $4,000 for it. But he's complaining that they're running off to only fans.

I really like the idea of the prostitute who's like, all right, I'll take your money, but we're not having sex. Not something I do. I don't believe in sex. If they're not married, surely they're married first. Well, God would smite them. Yeah, of course. He would strike him down on the spot.

and he already has a kid so we've got two more of these damn this is this is heavy stuff a lot of minds say what you will there's a lot of minds I'm excited about these next to I think they're both great this one's feeling quite full Claire's leaving

Claire you have to eat the whole plate of minds no these are both very good I'm very excited this next one's from Libby Watson from what's all this then hello everybody So my guy is not the most conventionally weird internet guy, but more of an example that I would hope that the rest of the world could follow, and specifically YouTubers. His name is every day I'm eating. He's a British guy who reviews food on YouTube, and that's kind of it.

But he has none of the usual humiliating, kind of degrading, soulless characteristics of food YouTubers. He also has this very unique cadence where he sort of... He talks like a newscaster with lots of pauses in all the wrong places. A few weeks ago, I tried a full English breakfast at Garden Centre

and discovered that they also did a cavalry. All he does is visit restaurants. Sometimes it's chain restaurants and sometimes it's fast food stuff and then other times it'll just be like the restaurant at a garden centre or at a Marx and Spencers and he reviews the food.

He seems to purposefully choose times when there are very few people around. I think because he wants to avoid filming random people, which is very admirable, but it does kind of give the impression that he is reviewing food in this empty

post-apocalyptic world, like he'll be at the mall, and there's still music playing, but you never see anybody else. I think if he could film these videos in a world where nobody else existed, but he was still able to get fish and chips, he absolutely would. He also seems to

walk everywhere or get the train. Even if that means he has to walk along the side of like an empty country road, you know, for like seemingly a long time. Which again makes him kind of the opposite of your, you know, your average

like front facing camera sitting in the driver's seat of the car. Hey guys, check this out. He's also the opposite of the kind of like oversharing vlogger, like My Life is Content style guy. We don't know his name. As far as I'm concerned his legal first name is every day and his legal second name is I'm eating.

He also has the most consistent YouTube thumbnail game I have ever seen. Every single thumbnail is him making the exact same slightly surprised face, but it's not full Uber driver suck me off. I think he's just wonderful. It's just a bloke walking down the side of an A road, going to get some pretty good fish and chips and not expecting that we care about the details of his life or anything other than how crunchy the batter. is. He's just like a completely authentic reflection of a strange guy who is completely harmless. And I think if all of our weird guys were like this, the world would be a better place. Okay, wait. So when you guys wrote the...

We wrote it right. We definitely were very particular. Guy. We didn't say, hey, I'm Brian Quimby, the host of guys. I very specifically did not say guys to anybody except for Brian because he does have to. a collection of guys. He's allowed to do that. That's his thing. This is his middle name.

Thank you to Libby for every day I'm eating. Every day you're eating. I also really relate to like taking a long walk when you could just drive a car for five minutes. That's a, that's very much my ass. Oh, also, I forgot to mention this during the Joshua. But you know how before this episode you spent like 30 minutes trying to find a copyright free song for the beginning of the episode. Yes.

And then we played all these videos that have like Cade Cuddy. Right. Also, a lot of them have YouTube videos in them, which are probably going to inform the person and then maybe I don't know what happens there. We'll see what happens. I don't know. Do I go to jail at the end of this chat?

Who cares? It's the food guy. Flawless idea from beginning to end most online mind. Not guy. Not guy. But so far, no women or other gender identity? No.

As far as we know, as far as we know. As far as we know. I mean, you know, the Jesse Ferrar one, I mean, he was playing all genders. It's very possible for the Hulk person to be a horny woman. That's so true. This is like that riddle with the doctor mom. It's almost certainly a gay man, but it could be. I know that there's 99 worlds where it's a gay man, but there's one world.

Where it's a horny woman. Yeah, maybe. Anything's possible. Women love Archie. Yeah, they do because he's innocent. Yeah. Archie is innocent. He has his crimes.

We have one last submission for you here. It is our longest yet. We did cut it down. It's very funny. It's important that you know it was almost twice as long. It was 20 minutes. It was 20 minutes that we cut it down. Also, I really like that every single person, I think,

except for Brandon, who is next, apologize to me for theirs being too long. including Livy, who was one minute or whatever. Well, the reason Brandon did not apologize is he is not sorry. No, he's not. Be sure to watch his YouTube channel. This is for Brandon Sutton. What is Brandon's YouTube called?

The Discourse. Okay, great. Hello, my name is Brandon Sutton, and I am the host of the Discourse Podcast and live stream. While there is no shortage of people I could share with you, I thought that the best, perhaps most interesting person, that I could expose you to is a little man called Brian, aka demon erasers.

Yeah, yeah. So I'm an exorcist, but I'm a Christian exorcist. That's the best way to say it is an exorcist. Like most of the people that do what I do, we call ourselves deliverance ministers. But I just think deliverance sounds too much like delivering a baby or something. So it's easier just to say exorcist.

Like I deal with things that are like demonic situations, like haunted houses, kind of people that are having bodily controlled issues. Like a lot of times mental disorders, a lot of people think that like exorcism has to do with like some spiritual aspect that is like hidden from the world. They don't realize how real demons are. Like demons are involved in like every aspect of your life.

They're involved in like your thoughts. they're involved in your perspective. They're involved in like emotions, like bipolarism, like schizophrenia. People think these conditions are like mental conditions and they're demons. Now that might sound very problematic to you. And you might be thinking to yourself, Brandon, this guy's not out there. You could find any number of people who believe stuff like that. Well, when he says demons are everywhere, he means they are.

actually everywhere. Is there a connection between parasites and demons? Oh yeah. And STDs and demons too. Really? Oh yeah. Did you know that? SDDs are not, you might as well call them sexually transmitted demons.

Okay? Like, dude, it's not. It's not bad. Yes, bro. I don't know if you know this, but STDs come about spontaneously. What do you mean? Like it's like when people are sleeping together, it's not, they will, someone will get an STD and one partner won't.

And they'll be like, you gave it to me. No, you gave it to me. And they don't know who. and it will create a bunch of chaos. Really, it's because you're living infidelis. You're just being, like, promiscuous, and the demon has access to you now. Wow.

And so the demon can cause this. And so one partner will get it, and the other person won't. And then they'll be blaming each other. They won't know how or who or what. They'll be like, well, maybe you had it and you were infected and you gave it to me. Like, bro, that's how it happens all the time.

Anybody? Mm. They're watching the Tad STDs right now. They're knowing what I'm talking about. They're going to be like, oh, shoot, he's right. Now, I should explain to you the different types of Christian online because there are a lot of different subtypes of Christian online. Brian belongs to what I would call the Dan Brown slash D&D branch of Christianity. He believes in all of the different types of esoteric schools of mystery, the Illuminati, the Freemasons, et cetera, but he also believes in basically every type of monster.

but from a Christian biblical perspective. The whole alien agenda, like aliens are not aliens. They're Nephilim. Do you know where Nephilim? Heard of it. Okay, Nephom are the fallen angels in the book of Enoch? Heard of book Enoch? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the fallen angels, they came down and slept with the women, and then they bore children, which were the half angel humans, and they were giants, they were the giants, the giant tiles. Okay, and they took over the earth, and it's the reason why God flooded the earth and destroyed it. Wow, because of them? because of them. Eliath was a remnant of them.

Okay? And by the way, Starbucks, the mermaid, God turned the women that slept with the angels. He closed their legs and made them into a fish

and he turned them into mermaids so that they couldn't continue to reproduce. How's a fish going to have sex? Okay. But what did they put on the Starbucks logo? A mermaid. The two-tailed mermaid, because she's splitting her legs open again.

That's what that is. It's total middle finger defiance. And the word star, again, synonymous with angel. And Buck is synonymous with hybrid. It means like a goat man or like like pan or like the goat god thing.

So like that this is all like like tethered to the stories of the Nephilim. Like when you understand the stories of the Nephilim, every story and every culture and every movie and everything you've ever watched will be like, click, click, click, click, click, click. You're like, you're going to be like, oh my gosh, that's what that is. Like what the heck? Like there was the human, they created, they made it, the angels made it with humans and created giants and then they made it with animals and created things like the Greek gods like

goat men those those satyrs and centaurs those were not half goat half man it was half angel half goat bend off with some mystic creatures you know a lot about these guys uh bigfoot always fascinated me big foot's a nephalom big foot is absolutely nevlam really yes and he is he is a remnant leftover nephalum that has survived i don't know if you know this but gorillas weren't discovered to like 200 years ago. Did you know that? What? Yes, guerrillas.

It's crazy. Gorillas were like known as a race of angry men before this. Whoa, I always thought they've been around for so long for some of them. Yeah, they weren't discovered.

Because before then, they were considered people. No. Yes. They were considered people. They were a race of angry men. Yes. They were considered people.

Yes. They were, well, they didn't know and they were like elusive and they were like, it was this hidden group of people that lived in the forest or whatever. So how many chromosomes

do humans have, you know? Is it 32 or 20, 40, 46. 46. 46. And people with Down syndrome usually have 47. And gorillas have 48. Whoa.

Isn't that interesting? Yeah, really interesting. So like, there's this misconception that like we evolved from monkeys. No, we didn't. We didn't evolve from monkeys. God created us. They evolved us. They evolved.

They evolved from us. Mixing with animal, nephalum, angelic DNA. I know. That sounds crazy. But like they are, they're Nephilim offspring remnants. And there's so much connection to this. I think I talk about it might. If you go to ancient angels.com and you watch the movie,

Ancient Angels, you'll learn about some of this in more detail. But like the angels, like basically in the book of Enoch, book of Jasher, it talks about there's these creatures that come out of a whirlwind. And it says from the middle down there like children of men, and from the middle up there like bears or kifas. And the closest word for kifah we know is kolf, which means monkey.

So it's like, what do you get when you mix a monkey, a bear, and a human? That would probably be something like a gorilla. Wow. So like gorillas were quite possibly this hybridized nephalum offspring creation that just basically degraded down to the Down syndrome state and reverted back to an animalistic state, basically. That's fascinating. And so there's so, and like, and I know this sounds crazy,

but like if you go on my my YouTube, I talk about a lot about this too. He does talk a lot about this on his YouTube. In fact, why don't we go over to his YouTube and see what else he talks about? So this is the Demon Eracers YouTube channel. I absolutely love it. He touches on a lot of topics that other channels don't have the courage to touch on, besides myself, obviously. One thing that you'll notice about Demon Eracers, too, is that he's very interested in a type of conspiratorial thinking that revolves around his brain randomly misfiring when it comes to language in the origin of certain words.

Oh, you know what's a great example of this? Why don't we let him tell us the truth about soda? Because you would not believe what the truth about soda actually is. Specifically drinks like sodas. Now, first, let's talk about the most popular drink that everybody knows, Coca-Cola. Now, many people believe that the name Coca-Cola was derived from cocaine that they used to put. in their drink originally. However, there's another name, Koka, that refers to a demon or a boogeyman, a demonic spirit that would kidnap children in the area of Spain and the

surrounding area. That myth spread to multiple different regions, calling it Koka, Koki, Koko. These are all names derived from this one particular demon. The name is further emphasized in Diet Koke. Originally, its name was derived from the coconut because it was a giant, hairy being that would kidnap children. Sounds a little bit like anephalm, don't it? Like Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Chewbacca. Yes, Chewbacca is paying homage to anephalm. They're called the Wild Men. And yes, Cookie Monster. He's not named Cookie Monster because he likes cookies. He's named Cookie Monster because he's named after a hairy demon that kidnaps children. Isn't that that crazy.

creepy that they put that in Sesame Street. There was other depictions of the coca demon, which was depicted as scaly and dragon-like, where it became synonymous with the term dragon. This is Coca-Cola. And I know you might be thinking, Brian, that's a little bit of a stretch. Coca-Cola is really for to Coco the Demon.

Well, let's look at some of the other names of the popular soda, shall we? Sprite, which is old French for Spirit, which is actually referring to the water spirits, the fairies, and the mythical creatures, which were all demons. Yeah, that one's pretty straightforward. Another more popular one, sun-kissed. Wait, wait, why don't you look at that logo a little bit closer?

Because it don't say sun-kissed. It says sin-kissed. And, of course, everybody's already seen the Monster Nature drink, exposing the 666, which is the Vov in Hebrew, which makes sense why their slogan is Unleash the Beast, like the Beast of Revelation 666. It's pretty clear. Why do you think they put a cross in the middle of their O?

But did you also notice that Red Bull gives you wings? Why does it give you wings? Like the fallen angels? Isn't that interesting that it's two bulls pointing to worship the sun god? Little suspicious. How about Pepsi, since they updated their logo, looking almost like a snake eye, would be fitting if they were alluding to Apep, the sun eater.

It makes you wonder if the fort-tonged devil-tale-looking curvy lines were actually mimicking the body of the APEP serpent. Well, you can't deny that. You cannot deny that at all. I don't want this to come across as being anti-soft drink. And I definitely don't want you to think that this is a joke. This is absolutely not a joke. He 100% believes most of this.

And if you don't believe me, you can go and look at his channel. I would warn you, though, he believes a lot of other things. But other than that, he is a special little guy to me. And in fact, I think that I will end this video by playing for you his custom anime opening that he made for himself. So it's been wonderful introducing you to Demon Erasers. Enjoy the outro. Start the intro.

Oh, my God. He's got a sword. He's cutting a pineapple off a man's head. Oh, my God. There's demons. It's all AI. He couldn't get real good. He's got a bow and arrow.

It's on fire. He's got a lightsaber. It's purple. Now he's got a ninja sword thing going on. This part is not AI. No, he's fighting. He's got nun trusts and there's a camera spinning around him. This part's AI where he's fighting a demon again.

Then it comes back to him just like doing moves outside of a shopping mall. Great. It's a hit, unfortunately. That fucking rule. He's erasing demons. I've had its demon erasers stuck in my head for like 10 days now. What I love about just kinds of theories is like to what end? Like why would sun-kissed be sin-kissed?

It's part of the plan. What is the play? It's all part of the major plan to introduce sin as a sort of tasty orange drink. You drink the sin. Maybe that's what it is. Just to do sort of brand awareness for the devil. Put the sin in you. I do want sailor.

Thank you to the discourse and Brandon and thank you to Demon Eraser. Again, I just want to emphasize there was another four minutes on sodas and how they sound like demons. And it was funny. It's just kind of, we've been here a while. Do your own research. Do your own research. Go to demon erasers. I mean, anyone can find these.

They're very watchable. Again, heavy use of the word guy, which I don't know. I hate to keep harping on that. He's a special little mind. Uh-huh. It's funny. If maybe we want to go back and edit every time somebody says, Guy, have Alexi. Mind. Mind.

Yeah, use that clip with the ambulance over it. That's been taking us away because we've looked at too many minds. Take me away, beloved. There's going to be a link in the description of whatever you're watching this or listening to this on. And it's going to take you to a poll where you, the listener, can vote for who should get a trophy from us. for having discovered the most online mind. I don't know what that means. Whatever it means to you,

whether it's your favorite one, whether it's the most deranged one, whether it's the one you think is the cutest. The one that you think deserves to win. And the link will probably be on Patreon, but you should not need to pay anybody money to get that. I think if you can't just do it automatically, you should be able to do like a free account

and click on the thing, which should take two seconds. Yeah, we'll find out it. It should be easy enough to do. Everybody happy. And if you do want to support the show, we do have bonus episodes every 30. For just $5 a month, you get four bonus episodes a month, which is a lot of episodes. So that's pretty good. A lot of podcasts.

That's a lot of minds, Jeremy. Yes. And boy, am I full of them. And they could be any gender. They could be guys or gals. You know what? Next year, all women. Most online women is called.

Online women is really good. I actually really like the idea, although it does lead into some potentially misogynist territory. Yeah, we take down a peg. It's just all, like, women that people complain about a lot on the internet. Yeah. It's going to be like Chelsea Clinton. Eight times. And here she is with Galane at her wedding. Oh, they're just Galane Maxwell. The other one's Galane, but we're like, I think she was a pretty good Reddit mob.

This is pros and cons. This is my most online mind submission. My name is Jeremy. This guy's got a trunch of emails that you can read on this government website. His name was Jeffrey Epstein. Hey, he's online, buddy. He's on the net. My favorite, my favorite Oblide Biden. He's a well-known gamer. His name was Osama bin Laden. Oh, hell. He wrote a great manifesto. I'd like to mail that guy a brain.

Oh, and again, I think Brandon had a very strong submission. I hope he does not win because I will have to mail a trophy out of the country. Oh, whatever. Get over it. But I'll do it. Vote for Brandon. I'll do whatever I need to do. We can make it work.

I don't know about you guys, but, um, I think the guy, I already forget his name, just me. Yeah, just me. And various numbers. And which five numbers? Was that your favorite one? I want to say he's in the lead for me. I didn't want to put my finger on the scale.

But he was also who I'm going to vote. I'm just saying he's really resonating with me right now. I just really like his work. Isn't it horrible at the end of the competition for the host to announce who they'll be voting for? No, I'm not saying to vote for it. I just think if you don't vote, then you're letting Trump win. That's true. I'm just saying I liked his vibe.

I would just want to reiterate that. I was scared of his eyes. They reminded me of Hobson. Yeah, that's fair. The clean. I liked them all, though. They're all great. They were all really, really great.

They're all really good. Thank you to everyone who sent one in. You did homework and you have to. Yes. I really appreciated it. It was really great. And it was so fun to watch them. And maybe we'll do more of these.

I don't know. If you're watching, And we looked at your video today, we weren't laughing at you. Nope, no. You were the one we thought was cool. You should not kill us. If you have to kill one of us, just Jeremy. Hey, I'll take one to the team.

I have children. All right, well, that's going to be it for us this week. And for the first year of the most online mind competition, we'll see you next time, Sailor. Bye, bye. Bye, bye, Sue. Hi, Taylor. Kiss.