Quorators - Operator's Handbook w/ Felix Biederman

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW AUGUST 24th in NYC: https://www.caveat.nyc/events/quorators-8-24-2024 Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Do you go all out, even if it kills you? Is it acceptable to greet a Jew by saying "Hello Jew"? I'm on the autism spectrum and want to help Ron DeSantis become President so woke will die, because nobody cares about autistic people, only BLM and that gay stuff. Since it would break my heart if Ron loses, how do we push for him to win? Follow Felix on Twitter @ https://x.com/byyourlogic Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

We normally do this, like, with a little video feed, but if you don't want to be on video, we can just put a little picture in or something. Something, like, got fucked up with my webcam a while ago, and I just, like, never cared to fix it. I'm also just, like, generally against video calls. No, I think you're right. I don't even like being on a video podcast. I don't like having to think about, like, wearing the same clothes two times in a row or something. I like it. It makes me feel like a piece of meat. I don't like it at all. I finally get to be sexy.

I just, I just like, I think it's like, it makes sense when the show is a visual component, but like for our show, it's like, what the fuck are we fresh and fit? There's, I feel like pressure to drop little images in all the time. Like, I'll be like, we mentioned Venom. Do I go get Venom? Yeah. What if no one knows who that is? Do I need a transparent Venom?

Will people be mad if there's a background? i just like like a podcast that doesn't have a visual component but they're they're like on video anyway it just like it reminds me of those podcasts that exist just for like engagement bait where it's it's like the same setup of like two guys and then like six girls that they hate and they're like um you know what's a hypothetical and the girl says what it is and they're like you stupid bitch that couldn't be more wrong you have not slept with that many men what drove me crazy is uh when i found out that those aren't even those aren't even real shows yeah no they're not they're just making those clips and then like then being like okay thank you there's not even a real

show you can listen to you can't listen to the uh we hate women show no matter how much you want to and just and this is what i don't like about it exists purely to make me upset which makes it an adversary of mine you keep searching on fucking apple podcast for it where are you where's andrew tate okay uh we're gonna dance now please hold and with the sound of the robot you're back in the quarazone live on the quarators podcast it's alex and jeremy what's going on what the fuck is up monday morning do you like this running joke i'm doing where i do the weather at the beginning or does that make you upset i don't know what it's gonna be it's wrong every time you know i'll say this real quick before we introduce

our guests we have a live show on august 24th that people should go to and we keep forgetting to plug it yeah it's pretty important to do it now or we will not remember and we need you to come or we'll be alone in a lounge oh how sad would that be that's at caveat bar and grill the number one powerpoint based comedy show location there please come august 24th ticket link theoretically in the description uh what a week it is on june 21st i just i just got my tattoo that says go modi forever eternal prime minister of india i haven't read the news his power is only waxing and uh who is that you hear on the other line by the way you you had him at modi support it's felix biederman from the chapel trap house podcast felix hey uh just got back from

campaigning for bjp and boy are my arms tired did you see the monkey man movie i have no no what is that okay so that was it was a dev patel movie it came out like a month or two oh right the john kind of thing he punches everyone in the world yes and that isn't wait isn't that that jet lee movie fucking unleashed the movie that gently tried to make where like he was like all right i made hero seven years ago and everyone liked that but what if i tried to become a dramatic actor and i'm in a movie with bob hoskins i he played he plays a guy who is raised as um he's a person but they raised him as a dog but they also taught him like martial arts you're it's like it's really fucking it's really a stupid movie wait you're saying this is that

movie like monkey man is the dog movie yeah that's what it sounds like sounds like dev patel he's not a monkey if that's what you're saying who is the monkey man that's kind of the question of the film he fights with the honor of a monkey i believe is the implication we're all kind of the monkey man no no no it's definitely him but he's not literally a monkey oh they didn't raise him as an animal that's stupid why would i watch that no he's just some piece of shit uh but why do they like he has no actual like social relations to monkeys they keep showing you the monkey god uh hanuman i think is his name close i know we've worked together before hanuman and what is that supposed to do for me i've no i've never met that guy it's a loose tie-in to

be sure because uh they keep so they show you hanuman then they show you dev patel and they're like isn't this kind of like that and it's like not not super real not really they both fight it sounds like a real it sounds like a really loose bad premise he should have just like made the jet lee movie he should have just been like hey this was my idea remember that movie remember that movie no one saw i i did it it's mine i'm a dog now yeah is this what you wanted and it's a political statement that movie's so fucking dumb he's like um um they're like they're like it's carrie condon and morgan freeman they like find jet lee he's like i don't know like licking his nuts or something and they're like hey this human dog

seems like he's good at fighting let's let's teach him piano and and morgan freeman's like you're not a dog danny and gently he's like woof so he's a dog falls in he falls in love with like carrie condon because she teaches him how to play piano and then bob hoskins like there you are my bloody dog i killed your mom by the way feelings i'm really sold shit out of he beats the shit out of everyone and then uh they're like and then gently lived happily ever after with morgan freeman and his daughter in this movie i've sold on the premise like you telling me about it makes me want to see it but i'm hearing it's bad what's it called it's called like unleashed or some shit it's called unleash that is what you should call it oh shit i've definitely seen this at like a

hollywood video yeah yeah i it was one of those movies where like um i saw the trailer for it when i was like um like 15 or 14 and i was like this looks great i loved hero and i i torrented it obviously like in the golden age of torrenting and i still felt like i had wasted money on it yeah that's hard uh yeah written and directed by sex criminal luke basson oh just he just wrote it sorry right it has all of his ideas that was before luke basson did all those things this was actually what made him do it yeah after after he wrote unleashed he was like all right it's time to get dirty to get into the mind of the dog to get into the mind of the dog to write that script it made him uh irreversibly a terrible person he's wagging his tail

uh i i have to say why i even brought up monkey man i just like obsessive compulsively need to say it's because there's a bjp thing in it and they had to change it for netflix good i said it okay it wasn't for no reason what was it they had all these like bjp flags or something in the background and then they tried to release it in america and all the like american indian lobby lobbying like firms were like we will uh blow up your corporation there's no way we'll let you get away with this and he was like actually it's the communist party they're the problem people ride so hard for bjp in like america and it's like we don't know what that is like you don't have to like what would happen at this netflix movie

that will not be watched directly by anyone this is literally only going to be on in the background maybe someone's grandfather or stepdad is going to watch it on their ipad but it will not be directly observed by anyone well here's what here's what got me about is i watched the movie the flags are a very small part of it you do not pay much attention to those flags bgp bgp guys like go so hard over that shit like they they killed that guy in canada and it's like can you guys fucking not do like india stuff here i mean i think this is the perfect segue we have our own we have our own things can you like complain about like bud light or hamburgers speaking of doing indian things here we have to talk about quora that is the podcast

that's right just by the numbers uh from what i've been reading it's india's website um so we have like a theme and everything for a week before we get into the quora uh we we've been doing an advice segment to as a cynical ploy to attract youtube listeners so We're going to play that now. That is, of course, tips for non-binary people. Tips for them. Tips for them. That's an NBS lick.

Thanks, man. Off the top of your head, do you have any tips for non-binary people? Yeah, I do, actually. Figured you might. when you when you if you ever find yourself uh piloting a um a mig-29 and you want to do a puka chevs cobra you can do that you can do it it is maneuverable enough to do that but if you want to do probes turn or any of the other things you want to do a cold bit uh you're not going to be able to unless it's a mig-29 ovt with thrust vectoring

so if you're a non-binary pilot please pay attention to what mig-29 model you are in planes have gotten so advanced and my one question about planes is do you can you still not do them if you're colorblind or have they like worked on that um yeah i think like any if you even have like uh like an eyelash if an eyelash has ever fallen into your eye they like won't let you drive a plane they're too expensive frankly i have a sound board with eight colors on it and i cannot use it correctly so i can only imagine if it was like in charge of my engines you could like kill someone with it you can if you if you're rich enough you can like buy a decommissioned military plane and

they can't stop you can have like the shittiest vision ever and you can still be like i'm flying my big 29 over a school zone and they're like okay look at me i'm crashing into a building at 700 miles an hour green and brown are the same to me why didn't hunter s thompson go out doing that how did he go out he got he got he just shot himself but his ashes got shot out of a cannon is what i would say yeah yeah that was a little cartoony a little bit much yeah hunter thompson's last words i don't want to be an american idiot in our minds true words were never spoken and it does bring us into the theme for the day we've started theming the episodes to kind of give them a binding structure this week's theme is the

operator's handbook uh we'll be doing questions about top tier members of our society and how they operate that's right um before we get into that we we like to ask a question at the beginning of the show and then we answer it uh i'm sorry we ask a question at the end of the show and then we check to see if we got any answers last time what was our question last week last time inspired by the new yorker we said what if a dog went to therapy okay back on dogs that is that is the topic that the new yorker is they are really on that yeah that is like their number one issue they're like investigative journalists to figuring out for figuring out which animals go to therapy and how they would respond they're gonna do a spotlight movie about the real dog that went to

therapy it's the number one issue for median income new yorkers because they all have dogs that do not get to leave their box apartment and they're very sad i live i lived on the upper west side they like actually it's like no you can't do it as a joke anymore they like actually do that they like give their dog xanax and shit that's really upsetting to me i don't like that it's like why even have a dog if you're gonna give it xanax uh so the episode this is from is not out yet so nobody's answered this if you are listening to the show and you want to answer our questions Be sure to use the word scrambled eggs so that we know you have come from the show.

Yeah, we don't make fun of you. What answers do we have so far on the dog therapy question, Jeremy? This guy, Kamanch Squaw, who's a qualification. Kamanchi Squaw. Qualification is studied amateur sex videos and daddy's sex slave at obedient sex slave says that could possibly mean that the sky above you may turn putt pole. That was a real twist.

people may think that like daddy's sex slave at daddy's sex slave incorporated is a good job but you have to eat shit for five years as a junior associate and you need an mba to even get in the door yeah he's got a bright future ahead of him also his uh his profile is just a picture of an ass is that him or is that daddy he is daddy this guy lives in weatherford texas oh no he's daddy's slave that's my ball that's basic reading comprehension yeah okay so this guy may turn pop poll this is a normal quora user what else do we got on here um that's about it someone else said send trump in his place okay thank you that's pretty good that guy got him no need to get political

mr trump you go to dog therapy what is that what if like trump saw that and he like killed himself it was like everything else is fine but he's like i'm not a fucking dog people see me you don't need to cut up a benadryl and give it to me in my food i've always wondered like how trump would kill himself if he did it wouldn't be like he wouldn't like shoot himself in the head that's like two pedestrian he would like hang himself with like the the belt of a silk rope or something it'd have to be a very sturdy silk rope folks it's not that kind of show but there are no sacred cows here we'll say the things

uh all right well uh thanks for writing in if you answered our question for last week but it's time to get into the thick of it. What's our first segment? Okay, The Quoker, our incel questions. We have incel and manosphere questions. Again, the theme is Operator's Handbook. We're here live in The Quoker. What's our first question?

Okay, this is a really long one. The question is, how do I become a pimp? I know one. He's very wealthy, and the women he pimps are beautiful and love him more than any woman has ever loved me. Why is it that when I show girls love, they find that a turnoff? two-part question why is he asking quora not the real pimp that he knows that's his first problem

yeah i think that like it's probably like who you know situation so if you know a pimp that's a great way to get into the pimping business yeah again if you can get an internship of some kind with that pimp just anything to get you in the door is good um extreme not pimp activity asking quora i gotta say yeah that's not the place to ask no one has answered it either it says no yeah There are no pimps on Quora? Quora is where the police officers go. Why would the pimps be there? Maybe this is a police officer who's trying to catch pimps.

It's a damn sting is what it is. Oh, that would be a good method. Yeah. Yeah. Somewhat, yeah, like a very helpful civic-minded pimp is like, here's what I did. Then boom. We got your ass.

Keep your head up. Just a police officer being like, being a pimp sounds so great. this job sucks um what i like about this question too is the second part is just like why is my love never reciprocated or alternatively how do i become a pimp thanks for writing it when i love women they're disgusted it seems like two separate problems women hate my ideas they love this pimp though they're really into it they like being pimped out i guess Do you guys remember when a certain weird Twitter star got run off Twitter in the last two years because people thought he was masquerading as a woman who is pretending to be a sex worker? I think I do remember.

I think this has happened more than once, though, right? I mean, this type of thing has happened, but not this specific. This specific thing has only happened once. but like i i i don't want to like accuse him of doing that right because there's like no proof it could just be fair like then the thing the the fake sex worker blog is funny enough on its own but i will always remember it i will always remember the fake sex worker blog that was followed by a bunch of horny guys on twitter because she she she said um my pimp actually checks for vaccination cards and follows covid protocol wow that's beautiful it just made me

laugh so hard like it was like what folks it's not that hard all right if my pimp can do it you too can wear a mask in the subway social distancing is difficult in a pimping situation how can you follow covid protocols what are you talking about all right thanks for masking up now shoot your cum at me six feet away uh jeremy's on the guy the question actor's profile oh yeah i was just looking at this guy who asked the pimp question he has like so many questions um he asks uh if i injected fat into my stomach is it still possible to burn it in the same way i think i have covid 19 but i'm scared i'll lose my job if i don't show up what should i do i work at a donut shop i guess we learned whether the pippi knows follows protocols or not he's not

for vaccination he asked how do i know if i have knockout power which is a great question i feel like there's a there's a pretty established way to know yeah right this is again just talk to your pimp okay uh let's move on to the next one okay here's another question um how many top tier people could handle an eternal gang stalking campaign eternal eternal eternal so i guess like forever they're just stalking forever i'm familiar with the diablo difficulty eternal and i assume it's similar to that this one's gang stalking eternally or being gang stalk you're being gang stalked okay and you're a top tier person um felix how much of gang stalking internet have you taken in uh not only have i taken a lot of it in i am a lot of people think that i'm gang

stalking them and you're just one man yeah i'm just regular stalking them i'm like you you idiot yeah i'm going through your trash but not with my friends it feels like i'm everywhere because i'm so good at it you're trying to get involved like it's a board game being accused of gang stalking is the highest form of flattery but yeah no i um i i have been accused of gang stalking at least uh two people by those two people not by a third party sure it's the type of like uh gang stalking where it's like targeted individual people right You know, where they're like you, you, I, it's like the regular internet crazy person stuff where like I'll post a screenshot from like a movie I'm watching. Right.

And it will be like a scene that takes place in a bathroom and the person will go like, oh, you posted this because you are sending a signal that you put cameras in my bathroom. And I'm like, that's just a coincidence. We, we got a similar accusation. There's not a, there's a non-zero chances from the same person. Yep, and I'm afraid to talk about them on the show, but it's a very similar scenario. I probably shouldn't do this, because it is escalating.

These people have found me in real life. Wait, you're being gang-stalked. They're gang-stalking you. I don't think it's gang-stalking. It's just these two people, but they're not working together. Felix, you may be the top-tier person who can handle an eternal gang-stalking campaign.

I mean, yeah, it might be eternal. Well, I don't know. I don't see it ending anytime soon. There's actually one hidden answer. It said there weren't any, but we found one. Yeah, it says, if you know about Havana syndrome, you will hear of certain American diplomats in Cuba consulate being attacked, hence the term Havana syndrome, Havana, Cuba.

Okay, but it was for this question because it says their expertise is they have for four years been a targeted individual. So this person is saying that Havana syndrome is like being gang-stalked. Yeah, I guess by the Cuba. Is this person like a resist liberal targeted individual? That's kind of fun. I'm trying to see what their politics are. I'm going on his profile.

He keeps posting the concrete podcast. I don't know what that is. I don't know either, but I'd love to check it out. This is a great reference. I refuse to promote this man's podcast. This guy who thinks he's being targeted by the Cuban government recommends it. Okay. There's not a ton to work with in these

because everyone who was going to answer it was killed first. Their other question is, are there any gangstalkers in Autoria, New Zealand? We don't know. I have no idea who to tell you. There's not that many people there. Yeah.

They're like... I feel like that's a pretty idyllic life, gangstalking in New Zealand. Yeah. You don't follow people into... You don't follow people into some gross-ass alley. you get to go you get to you know see a bunch of scenic vistas you get to walk down probably when you go and read their mail it's like going to bilbo baggins's house yeah i was gonna say i

feel bad the one new zealand city i know is hobbit town i'm targeted where they were going to crown faramir cool um okay so uh we're continuing on with operator handbook uh here but uh felix we You are here, and we are going to break our regular rule and go into some political questions today in our regular political segment, which is the quiz course. These are the questions of the day. This is what people are talking about out in the street and at the cafes. This is from Tuesday. This is a recent question. Okay, this question is, I'm a patriot.

Is that illegal in America? Yes. It is. Report immediately to the nearest police officer in Quora for your summary execution. This was what Biden was mad about in that Time Magazine interview. He was just like, I made patriots illegal. That was me. People are being very mean to this guy.

I hate when people ask rhetorical questions on Quora. It's like, that is so not what it's for. Can you fuck off? You're going to hate two-thirds of this website. One guy says, nope, I'm a patriot too. That's positive reinforcement. I like this guy who says, time will tell. huh i can't tell what side is on yeah you can put that one on anything

opinions are never illegal my friend uh the guy who answered that also answered the question does trump have what it takes and i bet he and he just wrote the word yes so there you go uh any other answers that we're gonna he also recently wrote i'm not getting treated for the clap so i guess he's like a medical guy okay a medical guy is a great way to describe someone who has illnesses he's kind of into medicine although i guess not really he's into receiving medicine he's not though he doesn't receive it uh okay so everyone is fighting in this thread and it makes me scared um someone said depends on what you think a patriot is throwing the capital to try and

disrupt an election neither patriotic nor or nor legal so if hugh brown has taken this guy to task i love that people put their full names on here it makes me so happy this could be an fbi agent yeah maybe i don't know i just hate when you argue with someone on twitter and their name is like the come enjoyer and on here i can like see where this guy lives yeah they're always like hugh brown here's my address yeah all right i think this one's kind of tapped out okay let's read this next one something something more uh difficult here a harder question okay this question is i'm on the autism spectrum and want to help ron desantis become president so woke will die because nobody cares about autistic people only blm and that gay stuff since it would break my

heart if rod loses how do we push for him to win now this is unfortunately from a few months ago Was this from Christina Bouchard? Jeremy is diving into it. It's very hard to find out who the question's from. The person who asked it is named Frank Watson. He has a bachelor's in mathematics. And he's banned from Quora. He said his most recent question from seven months ago is,

is dating harder for guys because being rejected is just as painful as being in a gas chamber? i say this as someone three percent jewish in dna why are incels balked when they reveal the truth oh my this guy is fucking beast but see this is what core is for yes some of those questions may be rhetorical but they speak to a deeper point no i think this guy is serious i think this guy is autistic specifically for helping ron desantis become president also the gas chambers one was after ron was out so he's in a dark place right now yes exactly i feel like i feel like that like the santas is like paid staff was like 80 this guy it's like just a bunch of different iterations of this exact person it's got to be so hard to be this person but not be on the team you know because

they are recruiting from your ranks it would be yeah it would be sad if that was their strategy to just post questions on quora like that was his big campaign move get the word out i don't care how you do it announce on twitter and then we just slowly push autistic questions on quora i forgot about that for the live twitter is that a function you could still do on there are spaces still there i think they are good for them yeah no yeah spaces still exist i still see space like i i get like um like pop-up kind of ads for spaces sometimes when i log on and they're it's like the same type of shit where it's like are what you know are men ever justified in killing women it's sort of like a more evil quora

it's i feel like unless you're announcing your candidacy for president just some a live space on twitter sounds like the last place in the world i'd want to be it's like the modern salon it's an exchange of ideas i used to see my old boss in in um twitter spaces all the time and that's how i like knew that i wasn't gonna have a job for that much longer no because he's a he's a power entrepreneur he's learning um i think there's one answer on this should we read it yeah the uh autistic ronda sanders question uh jake says you feel you are not well represented by left slash center politicians fair few people feel genuinely represented by their politicians but you want to go with desantis because you hate woke as a result of those

feelings women voting minorities voting ada these things are all woke what basically everything you do with greater representation for those with differences would be considered woke under its current labeling oh so you're trying to talk them out yeah this guy's like yeah he's talking him down so yeah this is a whole like uh newsroom type speech it's a lot longer he tries to convince him to vote liberal but then at the end he's just like but hey if you like desantis you know you should donate to him and encourage your friends to vote for him like that's all you can do hey i want him to win too uh yeah he explains like the entire electoral process by the end of this this is pretty interesting that's the one guy just says

brilliant okay reddit gold okay cool i mean it's too bad for autistic people how this worked out but they they had their shot i i just think it's very funny to be like hey i'm a liberal i don't agree with you but if you like ron desantis the best thing you can do to end blm is to just keep donated yeah that is that is like a you know he's a good sport just like i don't i don't agree with ending woke ism but if you try hard and set your mind to it well may the best man win i don't want to get rid of that gay stuff but if that's what you like i like his idea of like a blm but for autistic guys who support ron desantis like that's that's what people should be marching for it's like a really anti-social protest

it's like he's not against wokeism he just wants like wokeism to be focused specifically on him yeah all right we got a good one over here okay this question is do you agree with joe biden the catholic president of the democrats statement that quote sorority girls are like a dirty public urinal in the park not like a nice clean urinal in an office building end quote so i read this one and i i was wondering if this is an actual joe biden quote because i know it's some asshole on the internet just saying it so it's probably not but it does also kind of sound like something he might have said if you let him go off for a while yeah this it sounds like something biden not that he would say now but like one of those insane

quotes from the 80s that he has like you know the ones that seem fake but that he really said that that it's on video like the ones where he's like serbs are disgusting as part of the anti-busing integration campaign you have to talk about the sorority girls well so so one of my roommates in college has become a tiktok like famous tiktoker by like asking people on the street about their relationships and got to meet joe biden and apparently i wasn't i didn't hear it from him but i heard through another fred that apparently joe biden spent like 20 minutes being like models used to text me all the time with photos they'd send me letters of their nudes it's just that's what he's up to he's talking to tiktokers by the point where he's

getting texted he's already old he's already 60 years old he said that models would send him yes he did like have you ever read that profile of him from like when he first got elected he tells the profiler like my republican wife has juicy c titties and she's a genius like that is authentic to how he sounds yeah i don't i don't think he wouldn't say that sorority girls are like your dolls he would be like a sorority girl sent me a lithograph of her vagina i got a pigeon in my window again and it's more tits he used to get erotic smoke signals from coeds yeah he's a very high t individual to the point where like his last fibers in his brain he gets interviewed now where people like are you too old

and he tries to fight them and that kind of masculinity really shows up on a governor's mailing list the urinal part's a little suspicious suspicious i don't i don't think that's that's not joe right there he wouldn't talk about something nasty like a urinal i don't know i mean he could have said it what are the comments here um someone said i can tell just by your opinion oh sorry just by your question that you're a maga going through the seven stages of grief over the thought of your orange turd going to prison destroyed whoop there it is flawless victory i also like we skipped over the catholic president of the democrats well he is yeah that's just true

undeniable that he is a catholic president he is a master in the vatican and he sends him nudes i like one guy just answered block down voted reported muted go away i don't like the things you're saying uh someone else said that this guy posts porn on his profile and it's probably illegal come on man it's just not true i'm not gonna click it you could definitely post bored on the internet just in case i mean i've never seen any well is he saying that it's like is he saying that porn as a concept is illegal or is he saying that the type of porn he posts is legal we're all just daring jeremy to click this link on my computer and i'm not that curious i don't know downloaded a book last week it says uh op op openly posting pornography he

has a weird thing about catholicism going on uh be warned he is clearly displaying pornographic images on his profile i hate to speculate on the legality of it which i get it i don't know uh you can that would be a crazy move to be like a pedophile and you're like oh yeah here's the sample of my portfolio also where i am working right now i was deleted so it's very possible that it was uh something bad i don't know blocked and muted and reported and downloaded yeah he got got by this guy bernard destroyed welcome to bernard's zone bernard knows french he lives in north carolina hey good for you man so you've been

blocked oh actually every one of his comments is reported downloaded blocked and muted go hate somewhere else so that's what he does he goes on people's posts about trump and he says that he's the hero we need he has said it like thousands of times this is the what the dnc is doing with the donations they should honestly replace like the current white house press secretary with him like they can't get much worse and this guy at least seems to have like some passion for it his consistency is admirable is this yeah photo of chuck schumer i cannot tell okay yeah that does kind of look like and this may just be old white racism but it it could be chuck schumer it looks vaguely like him we can go to his house he lives a mile from here

being like a chuck schumer fan like that is insane yeah that's more insane than putting possibly illegal pornography on your profile we should report him it could just be chuck schumer yeah he goes by his alias bernard peren what's he doing when he's not giving like speeches at colleges i don't know learning french yeah There you go. All right, let's go to these medical questions. That's enough politics for one day. Time to step down the halls of the local hospital

to see what medical issues are going on on Quora.com here on QuoraMD. Every time I am eating, diarrhea starts. What is the reason? What is the reason? Yeah, I mean, yeah. I feel like this is one of those unsolvable math problems. We don't have enough variables.

i would love to shit on it but i've had the same problem myself and would love to get down to an answer yeah but like usually you you're like oh well i ate this is this causing it this guy is just just all is it happening when he eats regardless i would say regardless of eating diarrhea starts i'm looking at his i'm looking at his his profile and he's asked many questions so maybe he can give us more answers he does say i have type 2 diabetes how do what do i eat to reverse this does diabetes give you diarrhea i don't know they kind of sound similar does that do it does is that anything they're similar words i am a doctor um he's a lot of questions about weight loss how do i become a jealous free person he has some questions about islam

how many women have heartburn he wants to know you know if you have diarrhea a lot you will spend more time on your phone than probably your average person so that is where you ask you ask your islam questions you did ask what happens to your health if you eat vegetables so he's trying to figure it out he hasn't gotten anywhere yet no wait there's people guessing though yeah this guy charles who's an accountant says you might have what is called dumping syndrome as soon as you eat something it just comes out my wife has a lot of this don't bring your wife into this let's go to a doctor yeah my wife has dumping syndrome this man's poor wife uh somebody says it's ibs yeah or else you may know it dumping

syndrome sounds like his wife's gonna have dumping syndrome soon if he keeps posting this oh my god all right there's a longer answer uh and they're saying maybe it's an allergy this is probably the most helpful one otherwise i don't really know what to do with that anything happened to me but what it was working is that apart from homeopathy medicine, I manifest good health. I constantly think about the time when I was having no health problem. I always think positive that I'll recover soon. Maybe that's what you need to do.

Just try not to. Manifest it. Yeah, think about not being in the bathroom. That's such bad advice. Just try harder. Get out there. It's all no-nonsense medical advice. Let's read another medical one.

All right, this is an interesting one. I think this will prompt some important debate. how do people with iqs of 160 view people with iqs of 140 like dirt yeah like losers like a dog like a jet lee style dog who can play the piano go learn piano asshole they have deadly hands but otherwise useless deadly paws um i i've never taken an iq test and reading so much about it on here does make me really want to know we should take iq tests if you take it and like you're hungover or something is that just your score forever can you run it back no dude it's it's like the fucking harry potter hat because people look down on your soul i think it's just like a

bunch of puzzles right like it's just like you know figuring out like logic puzzles i love to do puzzles i look down on people who can't do them i hate that there's a fucking ai answer at the top of this it makes me so mad i don't want to know what the ai thinks of people with iqs of 140 yeah felix quora has a new feature that uh no one asked for where an ai answers your question before it shows you the people i hate that it sucks it really is that's like that's like completely defeats the purpose it's not going into the community and i don't trust the ai more either even when it's right that is just i i hate to hear that um yeah sure okay this guy joshua says i have a friend with an iq of 165 who once said to me people with an iq of 135 quote they're

bright but they can't make the conceptual leaps at which point we both said simultaneously how can you say that because that's what people with an iq of 135 sometimes say when you do make that leap and they can't see how you got there oh man dude he's fucking dragging you over he he predicted what you were gonna say like joseph joestar i couldn't show my face again after that that's because you have a low iq of 135 i can't make the leaps what's average iq that's like 120 or something yeah you would say that oh no i can't make the when it's a different number okay apparently the average iq is between 85 and 115 so it's way off yeah dude we're a high intellect uh podcast we can't understand how low it goes 85 85 to 115 seems like a really broad

range yeah i thought under 100 was pretty bad but maybe i'm wrong i don't know yeah i thought by that point you're like doing your taxes wrong and stuff yeah which means you're a fucking idiot i I have a lot of thoughts on this test I don't understand. I don't know what it is, and I'm scared of it. You cannot make the conceptual leap. I will never take it. This post is around seven years old, and I do think there was a jumping off point

where IQ discussion was very popular around 2018 or so. Yeah. This guy says, My aunt won 60 limited by testing in the 1930s, 1930s which were not calibrated the same as today she simply answered all the questions correctly viewed me 140 as her nephew well that makes sense i view you as her nephew as well she knew that very few people could think and puzzle solve as quickly as she could she became a corporate vice president in the era when there were almost no women in corporate leadership

that doesn't really answer any of the question that we're asking but freaking awesome yeah good for you george let's let's see your aunt sometime guess what people don't walk around with their iq scores tattooed on their foreheads so the main way one can determine how intelligent another person is would be to converse with them to read something they wrote or to review their work people know they know i can spot all these conceptual lists toads i'm talking to all the time they suck no one likes them i don't know The only thing about IQ is I know when it gets too high, then you get sad, like David Foster Wallace.

Yeah, exactly. It's pretty much a David Foster Wallace situation. You start wearing bandanas a lot. That's to cover your brain. Is that what it was? To keep it safe. It was like the woman with the red thing around her neck. If she took off the bandana, his brain would fall out.

His brain falls out. It was hit with a tennis ball at an unbelievable speed. Okay. Well, there's too many answers on this, and I don't want to read anymore. All right, let's hear another question. Do you go all out even if it kills you? Fucking yes.

I don't know any other way. What, do you think I'm a fucking pussy? Of course I do. No, not if it kills me. Thanks for asking. I will say that this person's profile who asked this question is mostly dedicated

to Julian Assange. And by the way, who else went more all out than Julian Assange? That's what I was going to say. He had to live in a cage for five years. And it killed him. He's around. Right? Did I miss something?

No, no. He's still alive. I know he's not answering my emails, but I think he's still out there. But don't you think it kind of killed him? Because he went all out. It might as well have. He definitely did it to the max. uh the answers on this are of a wide range that i really enjoy

um tim gordon says apparently not because i'm still alive thanks tim i'll vote for you uh greg warner wagner who's a farmer says i'm handicapped among other health issues i destroyed my rotator cuff back in 2014 i also dislocated my shoulder i popped it back in and thought i was good to go all out he's going all out in 2022 after having serious issues i went to a doctor and found out that i had destroyed my rotator cuff the doctor said it needs to be replaced but not yet yesterday i opened a jar of pickles it was hard to do so i used a dish rag to assist me as i heard the lid pop i was struck by a cramp and went all the way around from the front of my shoulder to the back i have never felt anything quite like it in my life today i'm still going doing what i have

to even after opening that jar is he saying that's what going all out is for him i think yes i think He's saying for him, going all out is opening a jar of pickles and feeling pain. You got to understand, he's badly disabled from going all out previously. Now it's just the pickle jar. And then later he says, I lost my wife in 2020. Yeah, that's all out. Holy, yeah, that is. He's all out of wives.

They're all gone. It killed her. Well, you know, he's doing his best out there. Greg Wagner. going all out then was not getting a certain vaccine he graduated from the school of hard knocks and defending freedom in the u.s army okay i see i i'm seeing an image now yeah he lives in missouri good for you greg we salute you so after greg who undoubtedly gave like four examples of destroying his body and family by going all out terror below him just

says death is my gift is that an evil spirit quote posting on quora they also have a gift is that shiva check if it's shiva he has a lot of relationship questions if it's shiva is tushy tush or booties the cutest word yeah that she asks tara says sweet bottom Thanks, Tarot. You rock. Okay, my curiosity is satisfied here. There's another answer that says, I do my best and my divine purpose hasn't finished,

so God won't allow me to permanently die yet. Oh. And they're a tarot reader. That's their job. He'll let you die. He'll let you temporarily die, like over the weekend, but nothing permanent. Those are all spirit journeys.

Going all out for them, I guess his tarot reading is just, like, doing a really big ritual? Yeah, I guess. Doing a super reading? I don't know what, yeah, just giving everyone their tarot cards. Reading a palm that's all kinds of fucked up. It's a really calloused palm. I don't believe in tarot reading, but my brother has gone to multiple, like, psychics who've said he'll have a wife who dies young.

Really? And he's, like, young, and he's scared of it now. That's, like, really stressful. Isn't it? that's so weird he doesn't even have a girlfriend he's terrified that would that would freak me out yeah should he if that happened to me and like i got married i would be like we should just we should go to city hall and get you killed let's legally make a loophole that's probably better he should marry someone doesn't like that much just to like end that part of it get her oh my

oh my god does he have like an like a greatest enemy out there i don't think so that's like one free kill yeah at least through marriage usually you have to save up quite a bit for a kill that's lucky that was one of my dan quinn things that i loved was uh his concept of a free legal kill on reservation soil what does that mean Dan Quinn it meant that like if you really made Dan Quinn mad he would challenge you to

an MMA fight on like reservation grounds so he could legally kill you in combat yeah reservation grounds have an earbud style loophole no one's ever tried to do it well if Jet Li

is a dog I guess he can kill you there's nothing in the rule books that says that bob hoskins can't turn a man into a dog uh okay let's read another question this is our uh uh forbidden fruit yes yes our religion segment now we're into the meat of it so these are philosophical and high-minded questions all right we tried to get from some from a variety of different religions here but felix i think you're gonna like some of these okay this question is is it true that allah once said that islam is a joke i mean i don't know why he would say that as does it sound like it sounds like a law

not be a lie no he said that privately to somebody i mean you have weird days where stuff slips out but i love the idea that like allah is so tangibly verifiable and real that like we had we have like instances of him talking to somebody but the religion he's from not true bullshit it's a fucking joke his arm's a joke allah is out there and he's like oh i wish i was jehovah my things are there's 100 answers on this but my favorite one is somebody who just all caps wrote No! Just a while, like, sending messages to Joseph Smith being like, why won't he dig them up?

This one guy said, actually, you are a joke and not even a funny one. That's correct. That's from Dr. Jeff Martin. Killing spree. Destroyed. That is a killing spree. You've been destroyed by Dr. Jeff Martin. Uh-huh, honey.

This is what got Salman Rushdie nearly assassinated. This is the book he wrote. I would like to say that it's a little safer to do it on Quora, except it's not, and they have all of your personal information. That's right. I guess we could see who asked this question. It's actually more dangerous than writing a book. The person who asked this is named Muslimafriend.

Okay. Fake. You sound like a Muslim enemy. yeah i was gonna say you think islam is a joke fake gamer girl but for the word of islam i think yeah he's a muslim but he's like come on guys none of us are really taking this seriously right like even all it says it's a joke hey i can say that it's my freaking name okay uh so that one's tackled but okay i have another question we've had this one in the doc forever these two questions yeah do jews smoke weed or is it just cigarettes there's no answers

that's a good question yeah cigarettes are the only thing that is um the the only holy sacrament not weed unless you're unless you're reformed yes yeah if you're reformed jewish you can do whatever you want yeah it is kind of ironic to uh to say that or is it uh no cigarettes and just weed if you're reformed yeah i grew up reformed and we had a lady rabbi so it was like all bets are off because the stereotype i don't know if you've met my good friend joe rogan but it's they they're smoking a lot of weed like too much weed maybe is joe rogan jewish oh i was thinking oh look they have the same name i was like i don't think joe rogan converted at any time recently but that would be an interesting move for him look i've been in

the booth a long time today i'm gonna get joe rogan and seth rogan a little confused i think joe rogan could be jewish if he sets his mind to it i would love that if that way he just started saying like judaism is the one true religion he's gotta wear the little hat if he saw like the hasidic tunnel he's like that's fucking he starts crying that's so beautiful they're building a fucking tunnel where they can cast their spells just going out and fucking doing it yeah the original monkeys that ate the mushrooms that gave them uh humanity they they originally dug tunnels too how much joe rogan lore do you know me yeah you i don't know that much i have a friend who's really

into joe rogan so it's every now and then but he'll he'll do it in the way where he's like i don't believe it but it's an interesting idea if you think about it and the big one is like the monkeys who ate mushrooms that's a real thing that that was from a more interesting period of joe rogan yeah joe rogan like when i listened to him it was in like 2012 through 2014 and it was when he would have like this crackpot named graham hancock on and graham hancock has like no credentials he's just this like british old man who's like and if you look if you look at ancient lithographs the mayans had ipads and it was all because they took mushrooms and smoked white owl blunts and joe's like this is amazing yeah it sounds realistic that's when the show

was great when it was just that or eddie bravo coming on and they would talk about like like a guy who trained with them who ended up killing someone now it's just like oh i'm gonna talk to ben shapiro i could see that fucking anywhere yeah it's not really as this used to be like a safe space for like complete crackpots it's such a strong premise for a show right and that's his undoing which is the world's most gullible man will talk for three hours and you can tell him anything you want he's a sponge it doesn't have to be about the economy having like wasting wasting that on like just normal republicans it is such a boring use of that concept i got so mad when he just like he's like oh i have a really interesting thinker on mercedes

schlapp young me park is going to tell us a lot about god there was a recently uh a clip going around about joe rogan i liked recently where he was going off on how like are everyone's taints are shrinking and that's because um ai is trying ai the entity ai is trying to turn all of humanity uh uh genderless so that they can't have babies anymore and then we have to rely on ai like as if it's like skynet or something through the taint that was his argument has he ever used ai like i don't think they're capable of that no it's chat gpt that's what it's trying to do it's turning us all trance if chat gpt gets like shittier the more you use it i don't like if you lose your taint jab chat gpt that's kind of on you hey erasing the human taint

is a lot easier than i don't know illustrating hands something a robot can do if you like ask chat gpt how to do your taxes it will be like i don't know maybe try changing your gender you need new clothes puberty blockers uh let's do this next one okay uh so the answer is that jews smoke weed and cigarettes correct okay last question smoking is it acceptable to greet a jew by saying hello jew hello jew you know what i don't you know if if that works for your friend and you why not i think yeah it really comes down to the tone i guess you gotta get the pass i don't know if you can pull it off uh someone says only if you accept being greeted as moron destroyed

a little slow on that one but it still counts life's question says what is wrong with you that is highly inappropriate and you know it stop with the foolishness what what if he doesn't know it i think it's a reason that's why he's asking this is the best kind of question is one that seems like it's a troll post but i think it's just a like legitimate question somebody has from a jew-free area yeah no 100 this is a guy who lives in like one of the dakotas and like his his like sister married a jewish guy and he's like oh no what do i do i want to make sure i get his title how do i greet him there's an answer here from choice right that says as long as i can greet you by saying hello

bigot oh my god i i've complained about this before but i really don't think it's smart for jewish people to be like the word jew is offensive the word to describe us is actually a slur it's so like you are just confusing people if you do that it's an insane thing to decide it's a powerful naming choice it reminds me of the um the joke from 30 rock where they're like um i'm puerto rican don't call yourself that no it's like the actual country we're from oh it just feels wrong uh says the contouch says even in the age of hypersensitivity and cancel culture that is an outrageous and unacceptable thing to say on both sides of the aisle this is an anti-woke

person being like that's a that's a bridge too far that's i mean that's a decision tiktok the whole thread everyone says you cannot say hello it's decided it's so mean people are so fucking mad about this yeah no one ever like gives a reason why it's bad too so this guy like he'll have no idea why he's not supposed to do that they can't explain it they can't explain why it's bad well there's this guy here whose name is brian overland and he says as a gentile i have a hard time to imagine anything more insulting which i i have a pretty easy i'm imagining more insulting things in fact many of them i won't say he says psychologically it's almost like going around slapping a yellow six-pointed star on

the shoulder of every jewish person and when that happened in the 1930s that was not a good thing and then he says let me give you a comparison suppose you were a christian and i know a number of christians who are among the best people around someone agreed to on the street saying hello jesus worshiper okay so that i think most christians would love that yeah it doesn't sound so yeah yeah that's like how they greet each other yeah they're super on board to be like oh you could tell yeah we love to bring it up it's kind of our whole thing yeah if you walk around brooklyn enough someone will say hello jew to you and it'll be an orthodox jewish man i usually had such good muscle memory for that happening like uh my move always was to say that

i was turkish and you know nothing would happen to me but i was the last time i flew to new york it was like a red eye and i think like just a combination of like being tired and like being on an airplane i didn't have my wits about me and i was seated across from this like hasidic guy and he asked me and for some i regret it to this day i answered truthfully and he was like oh it's suko and i was like yeah and this fucking guy made me shake a tree branch and hold a lemon with him oh no i like i wanted i wanted an air marshal to step in so bad my wife is jewish and i we walk around together but she like because they're hasidic they like aren't supposed to like talk to or touch her i guess so we'll be together and they'll just ask me if i'm jewish and it's like a

long road to go to get like when once we get him in on it we move over to his wife but no in the future uh we were we're all turkish in our house that's a fantastic move that i'm stealing now it really works it's a system that works i don't know if that would work for you alex i'm turkish you're the most like massachusetts catholic i can't go outside in the sun i'm the one turkish man have you ever have you ever seen erdogan's sons they're like gingers not one time have i seen them and anyone can be turkish yeah and you know that's a beautiful way of saying that that's how we'll be ending the show from now on hello turkish anyone could be turkish all right we gotta we gotta close down here let's think of a question oh yeah felix you

have any questions you'd like to ask quora and we can see if anyone answers it like a question in the style of a sure yeah we're gonna leave it up and see what people uh comment on it okay all right this is tough, but I think I can get something. How do soldiers celebrate Christmas? Yeah, put that in. Type it up, put it in. You don't even need spelling errors on

that. Alright, we're doing that. We're closing out the show. Felix, thank you so much for coming on. Where can our listeners find you at home and abroad? You can find us anywhere where podcasts are uploaded soundcloud spotify apple podcast uh chapo trap house and patreon.com slash chapo trap house

run do not walk to the chapo trap house store in the meantime if you'd like more of our show every thursday we have episodes where we go on other websites uh linkedin reddit.com that one time we went on blind then we're not going back there don't look for that and that's all on patreon.com slash quarators new episodes every thursday we already said the live show which we all remember and as we say every week anyone can be turkish thanks for listening bye