Quorators - Quorators LIVE at The Gutter w/ Dan Licata

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Do you prefer love or fighting? Do uncircumcised and circumcised guys hate each other? Or is it just the internet blowing things out of proportion? Why do I feel good when someone calls me a big guy? --- Check out Dan on Chicken Podmasen and watch his special For The Boys on Youtube Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

Okay, howdy everybody. I don't want to get too excited, but you know what time it is. Thanks, that was great dancing by everyone on stage. You're here at Quora It is live everybody Make some noise Thanks for coming America's favorite Quora based podcast

That we know of Sorry about the cool start But that's what happens In this crazy biz Called show What are you talking about Already We got a hell of a show

For you guys here tonight Jeremy is here That's right We have Claire on the ones and twos. A very special guest coming up. But before we start it, I do need to ask a crowd every time we do this. Is there anyone who does not know our show

and just genuinely loves Quora.com? Who's here? Three people. You're a liar. Are you lying or do you really don't know the show? I don't know the show. Come on up. He doesn't want to, and I regret asking.

That's the show, everybody. All right, well, that's very cool. We are going to read you Quoras for the next hour. And anything that happens is not our fault, because it's just like that on there. None of this is legally binding. I opened it up when we started, and it was like, 13-year-olds, post your pics.

And I had to shut that down. He was just on that before. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Those are law enforcement officers. They're allowed to post that. They're at work catching perps. Well, we're at work catching laughs tonight. That brings us into a very special treat for you guys, the audience.

You may know him from his show he has here every Monday, live at the Gutter Bar in Brooklyn, or all the fucking TV he's been on. That's right, it's the one and only Dan Licata, everybody! Hey, Dan! Hey, Everdan! Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. What's that?

Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. Wow, such a treat to be here. Thanks for having me. Welcome to the podcast about a website. Wow. I got to be real with you guys. I get emails from Quora every single day, and for some reason, they think I'm a landlord for some reason.

Every email I get, it's just like, hey my tenant paid his rent late by one day how do I ensure he's homeless forever I don't know how to change it either you asked one question about where do I send the rent to the guy on Quora

I hope my landlord doesn't listen to this podcast because I'm about to spill some fucking tea I looked up where he lives and he lives on Quora not on Quora Dan let me tell you you can't do that though

You can't? Oh, fuck. Okay, well, I've been using this website wrong. But anyway, no, I was like, where am I mailing my rent check to every month? So I looked him up, and he lives in the Hamptons. Sure. On the water. Wow. Big fucking house.

Death penalty, that's all I'm going to say. Dude, I was saying this to Alex. Because of the whole UnitedHealthcare thing, people on the Blue Sky, which is the new Twitter or whatever, people were posting, like, addresses. It's Blue Sky. I thought it was Blue Ski this whole time. I've been saying

Blu-ski in my head. It's Twitter for Polish people. Holy shit. Finally, there's a place. Blu-ski-ski. People were posting the address of some CEO to be like, oh, this is the address of a CEO. And it was frighteningly close to my address. And I was like, can everyone stop

posting my apartment on the fucking internet of Blu-ski? CEO of Quarators LLC. Magnate of Brooklyn. Co-CEO. Has a wife. Well, there's been a few changes to the show since Dan's been on. Dan, you were one of our first guests.

Whoa, did you know that? And you're a veteran. I should be able to board the plane early now, I guess. The plane. The plane. There's been a few changes since the last time you've been on, and the main one is that now we go on to spaces. Yeah, you don't need to.

You know Cora has spaces? No, I did not even know that. We're kind of like subreddits. We've been reading these emails. I'm skimming, I'm skimming. We email you every day, Dan. It's not from the website, it's from Jeremy. It's just from me.

Please come back. Dan, kick your tenants out. I live on the water. Hit the fucking Space of the Week button. Yeah, let's do this. Objection! That's the wrong one. Space of the Week!

Every week we find a space Spaces with meaning Spaces with importance This one is dreams, meanings, and interpretations Post your dreams Dreams are very powerful tools Through which immortal can communicate to us Period

Does anyone here not know what Quora is? We should have asked that Is anyone unfamiliar with this website? Go the other way with it, smart Great I just realized as we hit this So I was like, this could be so confusing if you've ever heard of the website.

That's your fault at that point. You just wander into bars and follow into the back room. Do you have any recurring dreams, Dan? I bet you do. Yeah, I do. I have dreams. I'm at my old jobs. I did have a dream recently.

My wife cheated on me with Jackie Chan. Wow. We all have that dream. Wait. You've had this dream too? No, but Nick, my husband, had a dream about me and Jackie Chan, too. What? Okay, to be fair, you guys are friends, though.

So you guys are talking about, like, whoa, what if Jackie Chan fucked our wives? And then you both had it. Like, it's not like fucking witching. Instead of your period sinking, you're having Jackie Chan. The phase of the moon is very important for Jackie Chan. Wait, when did you have this dream? A couple months ago. Wait, maybe he was talking about your dream.

Wow, what a crazy coincidence. Do you even listen to him when he talks to you? No. Call Carl Young. You both remember Dan's dream. I would like if Nick incepted Dan to, or Dan incepted Nick to then have that dream by even bringing it up.

One man after the next slowly losing their faith and their wife next to Jackie Chan. And then the house turns upside down or whatever happens in that movie. Do you have recurring dreams? I have ones with monsters a lot. You have night terrors, don't you? No, I do not have night terrors.

No, he likes the monsters. He's friends with them. Jeremy gets them. I have no problem with those monsters. I have a cousin with night terrors, which is my gateway to knowing about them. My cousin this, my cousin that. He's so scared.

He's so cool and scared. Anyway, this space is moderated by Chigo Zio Kwanwe. And he is the only contributor to the space. So the space is full of like 20,000 people buzzing their dreams and then this one guy just being like, it's the moon. His bio is, I am a strong believer, you in God, and what faith in him can do.

I love reading and traveling. And he also has this space, we love Israel. and our Ukraine. He's like in the know. And he's a doctor. He's an MD. Okay, respect for that. He lives in America.

Don't get too hung up on it, but we found some very specific questions. Oh yeah, sorry. Let me open some of these up. And we're here to interpret dreams and their meanings. Oh my god, I'm so bad at fucking pulling these over. It's so embarrassing.

Nobody be mean to Jeremy. this is a question from this space what does it mean if you see yourself in primary school what does that mean I don't think I've ever seen myself I've seen myself in high school in a dream I've never gone that far back I always have dreams where

I'm my age now but I'm back in primary school that's it and then they're like do you know colors and I'm like I know all of them I know more than you I should teach the class I'm going to open up but if you don't do the homework in advance

it doesn't matter how smart you are because you just get a zero for that so primary school is like elementary school then they say secondary school for middle school college for high school university for

this isn't my UK you're talking about sure it's our key term This is what they call it. Just trying to make sure I understand the question. Capital T, they call it primary school. She goes, he has one sentence for this,

and it is, you need to strengthen your foundation. I believe that. Does he comment on everything? Is that his deal? Yes. He's a beginning and the end of the space. He interprets the dreams. He's a doctor, and he was in Canada.

You ask him a dream, and then he tells you what it means. Yeah, he's like, based on what I know about Ukraine, you need to strengthen your foundation. Here's another one. It's what happens when you eat food in your dreams. And he says, eating in the dream could mean that you have not eaten enough. Oh, hungry. At least that's what we saw in the Bible.

I don't remember that part of the Bible. But I've seen people giving poison in the dream. Jiro dreams of sushi, so maybe. We all remember the film I guess there's actually a lot of parts of the bible Where they're like we had a party But no one brought any food And so Jesus filled it all up

But nobody's eating anything really He's just making the food Everybody's just waiting Yeah I was like thank god he can make it Alex the last thing you put in here is A typical African bush That's right Very delicious.

You wash it, cook it before you eat. Click the picture. All right. Click the bush snail, Jeremy. Okay, hold on. Does anyone want to take a guess? It's just a snail, right? It's probably just a big, it's a big snail.

It looks so much like a penis at this point. You couldn't be more wrong. Wow. It's a pussy snail. Yeah, it's a pussy snail. In fact, it looks like a big pussy. This is a seductive pussy snail. I couldn't be more wrong.

You were right. I've seen it in my dream. It's a thing of dreams. This is when you eat in your dreams, Alex. Have you ever had a dream that you have a vagina? I don't think so. I've had a lot of dreams where Alex has a vagina. And he's always going, look, look!

And then Jackie Chan fucks him. Like a snail! Like a snail! Like a snail! Is there anything else worth looking at this dreams thing? It's just a collection of dreams, but I guess that's yesterday's news. Why is this the space you chose for the live show?

Because we all have dreams. That's true. It starts sparks a dialogue. In a dream, people start to grow bigger and that thin worm from them coming out of my right arm. I seek help from my family. What does it mean? No answers yet.

What do we think it means? Should we answer it? You're hungry. It means there's a worm in your arm before you went to bed. That's what it is. Check your arm for a worm. This guy says it means a deep-seated issue or unresolved pain manifesting in your life.

That's what they always say about every fucking dream. A lot more Bible-involved answers than I was predicting in the dream space. Oh, Mr. Obvious here. Oh, I know him. I don't do fortune-telling. Are you a perfectionist by chance? Why is this guy so mean?

Shut the fuck up. Don't be mean in the dream space. Fuck off. She's the only one with dreams. Do you want us to move on to questions, Alex? Yeah, let's start the show. Okay. And Alex is here

We never introduced you No one cared Hit the parenting These are parenting based Quora questions Which is most of Quora That's enough Alex is having a baby in a month That's enough

So this is a question for you Girl dad No claps for that one It's a boy crowd Admit it. It's a boy crap. You love boys. She's going to have a bush snail.

You're not going to say that to your daughter? They go, a healthy bush snail. My daughter's not allowed to listen to the show. Okay, this is the question for Alex to think about in the next month. Do you believe the mommy community is superior to the daddy community? Wait, are you pulling that up? Oh, I'm pulling it up. Oh, God.

This is what we get with a PC. Jamie, pull that up. Stupid. I do believe this. My daughter's a girl. Which makes her pre-mom. Are you a member of the daddy community? Maybe I just don't feel that way

because I'm not in the community yet, but I feel like they can't possibly beat out moms. Mom's number one. Shoot that thing out. There's one answer here. Harassment. No. I believe the

recovered addict community are safer parents than the using and actively selling dope parent community. Miss Barnes, have you no shame? Do you sit there all day and think of crap to say to hurt a person you don't know or what? And there's one other answer that just says

wait, let me ask mommy. So those are sort of two sides of the same coin. The two genders. This is definitely part of a prolonged argument that was already happening. Mrs. Barnes. Who asked this question?

That's what I'm trying to figure out. They've actually changed the website since we did the last episode of this. So I actually don't know. Nobody bother him. He's hacking. The question is from someone named Adriana Lima. So not Mrs. Barnes.

And her most recent question is, of course, is it okay to eat condoms without cream? I don't know I mean I usually eat them with cream So I guess You know what I say Can I have it on the side I really thought that would kill

I thought people would get up And have to go to the bathroom And throw up Do you want to try to get Maybe it wasn't clean enough No not worth it So is Adriana Lima kind of like a problem in the community. Maybe she was married to a Barnes

and got divorced. Don't you think Conan Gray looks like Timothy mixed with a bit of a horse? I don't know who that is. She says yes, but a bit hot in a way. So she thinks he's like a sexy horse. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. She answered her own question.

That's why we don't get it. I have no respect for that. I got beef with her. I like, didn't you suck duck poo in the barn shed today? How can you be in love with Timothy Jolly and a piece of poo? So this is like a four-year-old girl or something? This is why you can't give your kids iPads.

Just start asking questions they shouldn't ask. I hate her. Yeah, sorry. I'll go back to the... I'm now against Team Mommy. Okay, well... I'm fully Team Daddy now. We're bringing new rules.

I'm excited for you to be a part of Daddy community. Thank you. I think there are going to be a lot of interesting connections made. I feel so alone. In the daddy community. Oh, I clicked the wrong button. I fucking hate this website. I want to see what this person's deal is,

because why is she upset about Mrs. Barnes? She says, hi, I'm Sarah Stevens, a.k.a. the Angel of Light. Oh, she's crazy. I've come to judge the living and the dead. On to the next phase. Thank you, fans and supporters. thanks to Christian churches for seeing us through this rough time

those of you that know me and know who I am and everything that's happened I appreciate you sure is sunny here loving my tan and thanks to the Hispanic people for loving us and looking out for our safety it means a lot much love

shout out Hispanic people that's what's up for sure well I want to see more things that she's answering or asking. She's asking questions. 143.

We aren't taking applications from Butterface Fakes right now, but we're at the Messiah. I wouldn't see everything for what it is. You can't see past

your dirty snatch, lady. So that makes a lot of sense. A lot of being an angel is being locked in eternal combat. That's half of the job. And calling everybody

a child molester. Just going to Quora.com and typing it, did I ever tell you all about the Pelosi's being child molesters? There's one answer.

I hope it's just like, you told us. Yes. Say something else. Oh, no. This person disagrees. Sorry. What were you saying, Dan? Did you say something?

No, no. I heard Nancy Pelosi's getting the hip replacement, so I was just shedding a tear. Yeah, she does need a hip replacement, if you ask me. Basically, that's a little play on words. Because I think she needs a person to replace her that is cool. Not hip enough.

Yeah. This is an artist at work. Someone like Machine Gun Kelly. You know what I mean? Hip, hip guy. All right. This lady terrifies me. Let's move on to the next question.

Okay, okay, okay. The next one is the poker. Everyone's so scared. All right, we got a bunch of these. These are your incel and manosphere questions. This is the Naruto theme, which we do not own. I would never claim to own it. Somebody else makes a lot of money

when I play this sound. It's Naruto. He's making big dollars. This question is, do you prefer love or fighting? Fighting. Fighting, for sure. That's daddy community.

Daddy community, rise up. Pre-dad, pre-dad over here. Do you know something I don't? My wife fucked Jackie Chan What do you think, Dan? I'm a lover, personally Dan, come to fighting Have you ever gotten in a physical fist

fight, fist to cuffs? The answer may shock you No Everyone likes me for some reason That's crazy I would have thought at least one soccer player would have pushed you against the wall?

No, no. Famously no walls in soccer. Well, there are the boundaries. Indoor soccer, don't forget. That's not real soccer. We cannot bring up indoor soccer to Jeremy. We're going to be here all night.

I think I'm the only one on this stage who's gotten into physical altercation. Famously so. I guess so. I knew it. I've been punched in the face once as a kid. Does that count? Yeah, I guess that counts.

But it was by a man. No, it was by a different dude. I'm always tussling on the way home from the school bus. What was your fight, Claire? Well, I punched a girl in the stomach in fourth grade. Start it and finish it. Because we were picking up trash after lunchtime, and she was throwing trash on me.

She was throwing trash on my head, and she kept calling me trash head, trash head. Oh, shit. and I turned to her and I punched her in the stomach and I knocked the wind out of her

and she kind of fell into the fetal position why don't you eat the trash next time I found out later she was my second cousin so sometimes fight leads to love

that's right it's all one thing brother we're all family we're all we're all fighting with our families what do we got in the Quora page

okay sorry real quick were you just like at a family reunion and it's like oh there's the bitch you called me trash

she's like wheezing you're at like a wedding or something one time shortly after she came up to me at school and she took

she I was drinking water out of a water bottle she took the water bottle she took a sip and I said why don't you waterfall that

which we all know is when you right everyone say it at the same time when we all take the What do you want us to say at the same time?

So I go, no, you got a waterfall. And she goes, you know, actually, I just found out we're second cousins, so we're family, so it doesn't matter. So we could share the same germs. Punch her right in the gut again. Boom.

This is why she's always getting hit. She had a hard life. Because of you. Maybe that led her to... She's doing really good now. Hurt people hurt people. We got a great answer from Kendrick Bautista. It's so long.

He says, I pick love. As you can see, I'm more of a lover, not a fighter. No, I can't see that. Fuck off. No one can see that, Kendrick. From your backlit little photo. You didn't expect us to read this in front of a crowd. I don't think I have it in me to fight someone.

I only have fighting in my thoughts when I get consumed by so much pain, hate, and rage. I'm a little too soft to fight. but that doesn't mean I can't fight for what I really want. I really like to spread love to other people. Lock this guy up. This is sicko dialogue. Look, I'm not perfect, but I'm no saint. I've had my demons.

But living in a really cruel, dark world, I really want to show everyone that love still exists somewhere and that kindness is far more better than cruelty and hate altogether. Love exists at the bank. Should I keep reading this? Where does this go? I just wanted to do the cash register. Now for television, movies, and books,

I am getting real fed up with the Love Conquers All trope. What? You just did it. You just did it in real life. Give me a dark ending, he says. A lot of these people need an editor. What's his deal?

Kenrick. He's just a guy. Wait, wait, wait. He went to Parkland High School. Fair game. Oh, that's the bad one? Well, we don't know about the merits of the high school, but we just know that there was a horrific shooting.

He had graduated by the time that all happened. He graduated. He did not do it. Dodged a bullet there. Jesus Christ. Well, he did. I didn't say that. All right.

Well, that's that guy. As we can see, he is a lover, not a fighter. Now that I know he went to Parkland, and I sort of understand his stance a little better. Yeah, I was going to say. It is helpful context. Yeah. Except in movies and video games where it's played out.

Whatever I've on Quora, I assume most of the people I'm reading have narrowly avoided a school shooting. It's like 50-50. A lot of them are cops, so they haven't come close to one because they're just hanging out outside. They're nearby. I don't know about that, man. It's spooky in there.

I'm a lover, not a fighter No one's a fighter Not a single fighter in the chat I'm a lover, I prefer love and passion And the reason why is because love and passion melts my heart Shut up That's the good reason That's what I'm missing

It always feels good to be passionate with someone special That you're in love with But fighting, that's totally out of my league Alright, let's see what school you went to Marionville Marionville high Wait wait wait What is this question

His most recent answers Why does it seem some girls are more likely to be barefoot than guys He says because girls being barefoot Is more of a feminine thing than a masculine thing I disagree I didn't say it He said that Alex your responses are very insightful and clear

It would be wonderful if we could connect And exchange ideas Why did you pin this? You got a nice response. You did get a nice response. You got a nice compliment about how his answer was light up the day. You finally follow me. Should we follow her?

Robson Jenny? Barefoot feet are women coded. She's doing... Oh, she's... Two followers we know, which is just other people we found on this website. Eugene Morbid and I am a hamburger. What's up with I am a hamburger these days? It hasn't been long.

It still wants to be eaten. How can I become a hamburger without my sister's notice? How many hamburgers can you make out of me right now? If I really want to be food right now, what can happen? Can you put me into a smoothie right now? What if my sister says she wants to be a beef patty? How fat people are going to eat me up? I got to let Dan know that I am a hamburger

as a guy who wants to be a hamburger and be eaten. He wants you to eat him up. It doesn't matter what size you are, but it helps. He just really wants to get eaten. And he graduated from Columbine High School. Got it. If that helps. If that adds context

And then Eugene Mormon One of my favorite comedians We assume that he was the Mormon version Of Eugene Merman Turns out he's actually neither of those But he does have some sort of theology degree And he lives in Pontiac, Michigan I've been rewatching

Play of the Conchords He's great in that Unrelated to Mormons Or Eugene Merman But he is a libertarian If that's fun Hmm, loose connection What's our next question?

A libertarian and a teacher Man, that's a great combination Change starts with you I'm not teaching this class Learn from my absence Okay, so this is in the space street survival Which we've been on a lot That one is learn how to be safe and prepared

No matter where you are in any city or slum This question is what sort of knife belt allows me to carry two knives close to the body one on each side of the upper chest

just under the arm similar to a gun belt? Underarm knife belt. There's only one answer on this. Well, does anyone know the answer first? Because we have

the knife belt here. Does anyone here know what this is? Feel free to sing in. What's a knife belt? Two knives close to the body one on each side

of the body. It's a belt that carries knives, gentlemen. similar to a gun belt. I think a knife belt is even more important for good design than a gun belt because if you do that wrong,

you're going to be poked with knives all damn day. And that's going to be the worst for you. Poke, poke. This question is from Steven Stevens. Yeah, right. So he answered this question, how do I get okay with myself? So he's not asking that, he's answering.

I don't like that he has knives. But he does want to know, why do women keep trying to police bisexuality? And why do specifically working class women keep trying to police bisexual orientation? Fancy ladies, you get off the hook for this one. Keep it cool. That's a really good question. Dan is off of the podcast. You've been eliminated.

Yeah, it's never a senator's wife that's telling me to conform to social. There's always a woman working on a car who goes, what are you, gay? And having your own house as someone of LGBTQ make you feel so much more secure to enjoy your life. Okay. I feel like I can't get any pieces of bisexual male living in

social housing where homophobic... I mean, sure. Yeah, totally. That's hard. Totally. I feel like I need my own house to be free. So this guy... Did you get the knife belt or not? That's what I want to know. I think... This is just what's going on this week. It's so funny.

It's so funny doing the live show where we can't cut the sad parts. We're like, what about this idiot? They're like, I'm so fucking broke. Leave it in. Get rid of that. Put it all in. This is what's going on in the freaking world.

Yeah, it's moments like this I wish the thing from Men in Black was real. You know, so I could just, boop, you forget all about that shit. Okay, not the funniest thing in the world, but let's be real. We all wish that shit was real. Come on.

I wish it was real too I wish all the cool aliens were real what if men in black was real type that into Quora I gotta know the name of this damn knife holster he was the one who asked the question sorry I shouldn't go on the front of Quora

Steven Stevenson asked this question Steven Stevenson asked the question this guy Ben answered the question and he just has a real answer it's like get this thing that looks really good We call it a harness Not a belt

That'll keep those working women From telling you about your sexuality You can also put a gun in it It looks like You can't put a gun in that Scroll up The first one had a gun and double gun knife Where do you see a gun?

Doesn't that little loop Seem like a convenient gun place? No This is why I don't make them That's knife size I would put my gun in there This is like a chef That's what it looks like to me

This is like a very handy chef Straight up though Gun holsters Straight Knife holsters Bisexual Yes I agree with that

And Claire's a working class woman Yeah So I should know So she's identifying that But against it But I'm a bisexual Working class woman I should know

And bomb holster gay. Did you say bomb? I meant grenade. I don't know why I said bomb. You said B-O-M-B. I thought you said bomb. Bomber man style, but like a big circular bomb.

I thought you meant and you put it under your jacket. You hide it in your skin tight suit and you throw it at obstacles. A bomb? A bomb! Anyway, this is what you have to get. If you want a knife holster.

I think it looks great. Get that. And that has 30 views. Every cowboy has this. Grow up. What's this guy's one question? Is it possible that gravity is not a real force? No.

Are you sitting down? I love this website. Any random guy you click and you're like, there's not going to be a funny thing. It's just like one question. Gravity's fake. That's not real. Oh, that really got me.

Okay. All right. What's the next one? Oh, I forgot. There's this one. Do uncircumcised and circumcised guys hate each other? Or is it just the internet blowing things out of proportion? Damn, I didn't know that was an issue.

Oh, it's a big one. Do we have any uncircumcised guys on stage? No, I'm not. Dan? Sorry to tell you, boys, I'm not. It would have been like the Jets and the Sharks up here if I wasn't. we'd have to square them I feel like we're getting along really well

in a way where a circumcision could come between us they did vet me they're like hey do you want to do the live Quarrior show one quick question before we pull down your pants what that thing look like

yeah Jeremy will have to sex you in but it's gonna be really fun I am bummed I will never get to experience docking, though. The phenomenon known as docking. We're all for... Clap if you don't know what docking is. Clap, Claire. You don't know. Clap.

You're the only one. Docking is when you put your penises together and you kind of put the folds over. You know like a boat? You know like a ship? Like when a spaceship goes into the bigger spaceship. Exactly. I always think of spaceship. Yeah.

And then I guess you both come? I don't think, unless you put a rubber band around it, I don't know how you're going to keep them. You switch cum. You get one of those finger traps. No, but if you push those together, they come apart. We're stuck. I think if you're doing this,

you have the control to just shoot that thing. Just blast it out. This feels more like a religious question to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is a great meeting. Well, this was from yesterday was history. All right, well, I'm not going to click it. This is a picture of a chicken.

Why wouldn't you click it? That's a chicken. That's clearly a chicken. The question for those listening. It's a chicken. It's a chicken. Because the majority of people will be listening to this eventually, is could I see that cock of yours?

And then it's a blurred out chicken. But we are not going to click it on the off-chain feature to give people a cock. Click it. Click it. Click it or take it. All right, I'm clicking it. It's a chicken.

All right. All right. The amount of penises we've seen on this website. It's never been a chicken before. You have to understand. For everyone listening, this is a Greek statue Abbey guy. Yes. Who asked the question about circumcised guys?

Yeah, it's a traditional question. If Mark Lawrence became transgender one day, what would be your thoughts as an LGBTQ person? Who's that? Does he mean Mark Antony? I don't know. The great Greek Maybe he meant Martin Lawrence

Because of the show? I don't know I don't know I'm scared How do Dutch people feel about Freddie Mercury? They hate him, they can't stand that guy Any Dutch people here?

That reminds me of our question Why do they Do they watch Rocco's Murder Life in Israel? No one answered that We did ask it at some point. That's one of the few questions we did ask. To be fair. Yeah.

Where is that? Do Italians eat kiwis? That was a really good question. Why isn't Morocco's modern life popular in Israel? And no one answered it. No one answered it. Not one answer. Request an answer from, we now know he's on here, Luigi.

Whoa. I don't think he has a phone right now. He has a space. He gets his one phone call, but he accidentally clicks on this. He's like in prison right now. I'm like, all right, here's your phone. He's like, ah, shit! Rocco trivia!

But he does know. Sorry, my wife just texted me and said, my mom said you look like Luigi Mangione. Wait. Let's take a picture of that. Was that just now? Yes. It's just from the neck down.

Five minutes ago. Wow. And you said after this you're going to the Hamptons? Yeah, I'm headed to the Hamptons. I'm going to knock on my landlord's door and just be like, you got to let me in because I basically pay for this fucking place.

I'm entitled. I've totally forgotten what we're doing. Sorry, this is the uncircumcised guy. I just want to read one more of his questions. I feel like I'm too emotional, so how can I become more rational? Get circumcised. Start docking.

Start docking. Uh-oh, this is us answering, why does my wife make me eat cum? We said because it's Biggie's time to eat. Truth told. I don't remember the context for this. I edit the show. I do remember it.

I remember. Okay, so. Back to the circumcision question. We can focus for five seconds in our whole lives. This guy says shirts become the talk of the day. What are you talking about? What? It's the talk of the day.

That's why I put it on the list. I mean, it's true that at parties it's become the main. I think this guy's joking. This guy's joking. Oh, okay. He's a little troll. Shut up. Oh, you think you're so funny going on Quora to have a laugh.

That's not what people do. That's definitely an internet thing, but I think it's actually more about how different groups of circumcised men deal with it. Okay, hear him out. There are some men who have fetishized their circumcision. What? And mistakenly believe all boys should be...

Oh, this is an anti-circumcision person. Oh, look how long this is. I don't care enough. They had no say in the matter, Jeremy. I feel like anytime anyone tells me either side of this argument, I'm like you have to stop talking to me I could not care less Your indecision sides you

With the circumcisers I don't think men fight over Such trifling issues They do I prefer being circumcised But respect those that aren't This guy's acting as a painting That's from Arthur McTool

Yeah he is a painting Of some sort A Slawjacks Maryland local yokel With a ton of heart Idiot savant That's kind of cool Good for him Is this like a painting

I should recognize Of this like Crazy face What's his name Van Gogh isn't it Oh is it Van Gogh But it's like distorted I didn't realize

This was his account Did it not get squished Into the picture I don't know You gotta understand The picture's squished This guy's the Creator of the space

Harry hot and horny Click on it Do not click on it Click on it If you click on it, it's clear. Just for the audio listeners, that space is celebrating the beauty of living with hairy pussy, legs, and armpits

explicitly. Click on it! The other one is former wild winky face. Okay. Post your crazy, your kinky, your freaky, your all. I don't like that one. I don't like either of those. This guy knows about adult question and sex.

And of course, politics of the United States of America and vaginas. And United States Armed Forces And anal sex And penises And Maryland the state I do love the just in between Just like I know about puss

I know about pussies I know about Maryland I know about history I know about vaginas You gotta type this out This doesn't do that for you This guy says you do not need a girlfriend for relaxation So that's helpful to know

This guy only asks sex questions How do I ask a pale woman whether Rubia is also pale. He says, that's tricky. All right, well, cool. Vincent Van Gogh was nothing like this. Wait, can you guys hear me through this?

You can? Okay. You sound great, Claire. I'm going to need more me in my headphones. Just kidding, just kidding. They shut you down when you tried to go in the hairy, hot, and horny. Mike was like... I was screaming at the time.

I'm not going to click it because I don't think we can. But I'm going to go back to the question, I guess. This is the face of misogyny. Throwing down Claire's mic and not going up the space. I don't know. People, what is it? Hate? Why should I hate someone for something his parents had done for him?

Wow, that sounds great. I just need one partisan in the penis wars. That's so wrong. I know. I just need one guy ready to shoot for this. Everyone's saying the same thing. where they're just like, why would I hate another man?

Should we not love each other's penises? Be they flappy or cut? Never thought of it as do not care. Thank you, Logan, who works in marketing. Men are beautiful with all their folds.

No one on here is uncircumcised. I think they're all circumcised. Okay, here's the only thing in this that I don't approve of is if You don't fully remove the foreskin You just kind of like Slit into it You remember that dinosaur from Jurassic Park

That killed Newman That spits With the hood That I don't like You don't want that I do not want that So if somebody has that you don't approve You gotta draw the line somewhere

I'm sorry Honestly those things piss me off Can we go to a different question, please? I just want to go, just real quick, I love how Cora, the people are so horny. Are you uncircumcised? If so, what does it look like? Click it!

A lot of the questions are like, I don't have the rest of the internet. Can anyone show me penis? I just want to know. I'm on a firewall at work. I'm a teacher. I'm a libertarian teacher. I got 20 minutes before class.

If you don't upload your penis, I have to pay for it myself. It's the state of public education. Anyway, moving on to a very similar... The next segment is school questions. Okay. School for school. Before I hit this button, it is the worst sound I've ever put on the board,

and I'm sorry. That's a bus. Is it rude to refuse my college roommate's request to shower with him? It's a little rude. Yeah, a little bit. If you put in a request. Yeah.

If you went through the proper chattels. It's not collaborative. They didn't just hop in there with you. Do you have any experience with this? I feel like I've done this in like, we're all, all us gals, we just went to the beach or something. Like, let's rinse off together.

Let's touch each other's tits or whatever. It'll be rude if you say no. Let's take out or whatever. I always knew this happened. I knew this was real. They told me it was made up. No, luckily this has never happened to me. When I went to sleepaway camp, I had to shower with other people.

But it was just like, you all haven't showered all month. So we're going to put you in here and hose you down. Yeah. And we'd all be like, ah! I do like this scenario, though, where it's just like, hey, you want to go take a shower with me? And you're like, eh, not really. And I'm like, oh. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Rude. Like it's a PSA for like smoking weed. I thought you were cool. Yeah. Think about your roommates. Get in the shower.

Yeah, when would it be cool to do that? Any time, Claire. Hot day? What did you say? Docking in the shower. We had all these conversations about it. You can't dock alone. You need two to dock.

It takes two. It takes two to talk Now what I would like to know about this Quora Is it all erotica Or are there actual Thespians like ourselves Sorry to find This person who is a former former caregiver Says

So wait I'm back in the game I used to care then I didn't Now I do again I can't stay away from the old people This guy Sebastian says Honestly, it depends on why he's asking you to shower with him. If he's asking you because it's something sexual,

then you have every right to refuse. But if he's asking you just because, hey, we're guys. I need a shower. You want to come shower with me so I don't have to be in there all by myself? We both pay for this water bill. Anyways, if that's the case,

then yeah, it's a little rude not to do it. You know, I've lived in places where if one person showers that day, then there's no more hot water for the rest of the day. Okay, that's fair. So then it's quite rude to not go in. It is quite rude. In the army, maybe.

But I don't know. We don't know who his roommate is. It could be Carmen Electra. If you're Carmen Electra's roommate. Yeah, what does it cost? We're making a list. I really like this part where he says, if he's afraid to be in there alone, for example,

there's nothing wrong. Find out why he wants to shower with you. I've never been afraid to go to the shower. What if there's a big spider at the top? All right, take it back. I've been afraid so many times. Wouldn't it be better with your best bud there? Let's see.

No, but it would not be rude to refuse. It's your choice. You're a prude, and you're shy. Rude? Are you kidding? If you want to shower with a guy, say yes. If not, simply say no and walk on by. This guy wrote 86 books. Sorry, this woman.

What is her books? Previously worked in human relations. This is Stephen King's alt. Former cocaine user. Wrote 90 books. I want to know what her books are. Whenever I go on Quora and I find a book person, I want to see what her fucking books are.

But she hasn't posted them. Real literary posting. Oh, well. Whatever. That's too bad. Guess I'll fucking kill myself. I thought that would be a funnier thing to say We love you, Jared I think it's an odd request

We have an open shower room You'll inevitably shower at the same time I guess The answer is you gotta ask why You gotta ask why Sometimes you have to do it Yes, you're an awful person That guy's got a great body

Okay, let's do a police question Yes, finally Alright, the task of the day And I'm going to get it on the first try It is 5 quo If you're listening to this later You're not being pulled over It's not a real cop

It's just the podcast, you're just not a cop Okay, here's a question I'm 12 and I want to start my own mafia gang How should I start? Any advice? You need sandwiches Oh no, I'm stuck do you think there's a real 12 year old should i look i think this is like maybe he's giving

advice to a 12 year old to help them start a mafia game i hate this website so much please let me scroll if you're listening jeremy is going through like test after test of dexterity challenges while the show was going on. Canoon PH. Okay, here's the question. This is his only question ever. He knows Thai. So he's definitely 12. The language. Yeah, I think so.

Once you start a mafia gang, you can't leave a footprint. You gotta just keep it offline. Keep it off the books. He has two answers about the mafia. The question was, how do you know if your dad was in the mafia? He says, maybe ask your dad what job he is doing.

smart just trying to beg him and if you let you go and then you try to look and then you think what he's doing and where is the place so that's helpful did this tv really fall off a truck and then the other question is can you talk in general about the mafia and he says maybe fuck you and don't isn't someone in your family mafia related or something like that no but uh there was like a a split in our family and there's like all these people that I've never met and I was going through the FBI mob bust,

the list of names. This happened in 2010, I want to say. We've all been through the list. Numerous Lakatas on there. Really? Wow. So yeah, totally. Totally, yeah, yeah.

Are there a lot of Lakatas in general? Yeah, there was another guy named Dan Lakata that went to my high school and graduated six years before me. and he was very smart and I had this one teacher that would always refer to me as the other Dan McConaughey.

That happened to me. Are you kidding me? I was the bad Jeremy at my school. Six years later is different though. No, that's true. Six years?

You didn't even know that guy. Didn't know him. I guess he's like a physics professor now or some shit. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah.

I used to get mail for him all the time. I get emails from there's an Irish guy named Clare O'Kane and he's a guy and he's old and his family members like to email him about family drama

it's like you know Colin's up to no good again I was just wondering if you could spare a couple of pence for the barbecue or whatever it's really interesting do they email you then?

yeah and then I don't email back do you ever send them pence? No. No. Those are mine. I hope the other guy's having a pen. Sorry, I don't know. The answer is fucking, I don't know,

post-encore, I guess. There's one answer from Krishna Kershaw. Sorry, yeah. That says, if you really want to become a Mafia, then first thing, you need to find your team members. If you don't mind, then you can take me as your Mafia member because I also want to become a Mafia.

If you really want to take me, them contact me by my number, which is and I'm going to read it, 900-749-1415. And if anyone's trying to start a mafia. And that's from three years ago. 900-749-1415. Are you going to actually call it?

The time difference is going to be crazy for this. The call you are attempting to place is not allowed from this line. Boo! He got got by the mafia. You're scared! That was his last answer. He got caught.

He only has two answers and both of them are his phone number asking people to help him get into the mafia. Wait, why is he only answering questions from 12-year-olds and 14-year-olds? There's simply no way to know. Maybe he's a child. Maybe he's

a pedophile. Maybe he's a cop. Those are the three types of people on Quora.com. That's so true. Sometimes it's all three. I choose to believe he's in the mafia. I don't know what to say about these people asking all these questions. There are people trying to find out. Who would be in your mafia?

Wait, wait. Important character we've discovered. I had a really good question. Lady Mafia. It's being overturned by Lady Mafia. She knows Bengali and mathematics. This is her. She has asked no questions and has no answers, though.

so it means nothing. But she's an angel in heaven with the phone. Yeah, great. Who would be in your mafia? Jeremy. Probably mostly Jeremy. Me and Jeremy are kind of two-man mafia. We're kind of a mafia.

You can be in my mafia if you'd like. I'll put in the Rizzler in my mafia for sure. Call dibs on the Rizzler. I didn't think of the Rizzler until it was too late and Dan took it. Is the Rizzler a Costco guy or she's separate from the mascot? And you're actually going to anger several people, apparently.

The Rizzler is the one who does it. The Rizzler's kind of a cool child that we all like, I guess. Who definitely won't have his life ruined at some point by fame. In French, his name is Le Cherisme. Is that real? Yeah.

He's famous all over the world. Check out the Rizzler. He's in Dan's gang. Let's do another Let's do a philosophy question Oh this is exciting I think it's this one Oh this is such a good one

Thoughtful questions What do we got This is in the space humans instructions And this is humans instructions for use The question is Why do I feel good when someone calls me a big guy I don't know what it is You're like the Rizzler

It does feel good You ever get called big guy? No Not once I got called sir It's not the same as sir Didn't my grandfather call you sir? Or did he say

Who's this fine young man? And then I got like a little closer And his eyes adjusted Oh, he was embarrassed. Oh, no. Did it feel good? Is that the one that talked shit about Colin Jost? Yeah.

Wow. Your grandpa? Grandparents are turning like Colin Jost. He's 93 years old, and he was just like, this guy with the big teeth's got the dumbest fucking grin I ever saw. And I was just like, go off, Grandpa. Scarlet should be yours. But it's cool to be called young man.

Sure. Because people think that I'm a baseball player or something like that from afar or whatever. It's just so different than that. It's kind of the opposite. Big called young man versus big guy. I don't know. Big guy is a world of possibility. You could be God.

Someone called for big guy by the end of this episode, I guess. We'll see how it feels. Not now. It's got to be organic. Not now. Wait for it. Do we have any answers? Yeah.

Abby says, I have a very good friend we call Big Steve. He got the name not just because he stands 6'4", and because of his big heart. No, it's because he's huge. My Circle of San Francisco friends are in the event production business. That's how I met Big Steve. Whenever a big man was needed to help lift a stage section, or we needed someone to deal with people hassling us,

we called on Steve. It wasn't about his size. Yes, it was. It was totally about his size. He's huge. What are you talking about? Be proud of being a big guy. there's so many old people on here and then ann says because it connect your inner and

unstandable need for security and acknowledges a future or present depends on who says it state of relevance to that of someone else okay she's on to something though i don't recall anyone calling me a big guy i do recall a pretty young lady calling me a lovely guy And she remembered me a few years earlier Sadly I didn't remember her But I had met many school children over the years I hope they all liked me I still meet some occasionally

Well let's look at their profile Barry To children we're all big guy Maybe that's what he meant The daddy community is full of big guys yeah I don't know his questions are how do you get to be

such a dimwit shut up why do people make false claims you have never been anywhere near Oxford this guy's British as fuck Alex

this question is should I hit the button first yeah hit the button nope wrong one not that button it's green I think So this is an Anglo This is a question on Quora

Okay Hayley Westenra's uncle You booked a holiday to Texas For my wife's daughter and myself Many years ago It was for two months And we had a nice time We live in Gisborne

And our daughter lives in London How are you? So this is more of an email No answer No answer on that We don't know how they are Jeremy answers, I'm well Period

Should I add a new credential? Yeah Your credential should be Booked a trip for Travel agent Texas Texan travel agent Whatever you come up with is great

I'm so proud of you Alright, we've nailed it Done Great work, Jeremy I don't know why it changes it to former. I currently work here. Give it up for Jeremy, everybody. Nice.

That's the J-Man. And he's not even a Mac guy. He's a PC guy. I know. So he's really figuring it out. Regular John Hodgman. He's fighting for his life. I think that's all the big guy questions.

That's all the big guy questions. We nailed it. We have two more questions under forbidden knowledge. Okay, I like that. Hit that. So these are the kind of spooky ones and they're ones that make you they go bump in the night and stuff?

Yeah. This question is can a demon love a human? No. Stupid. How dare you ask? They don't love stuff. They're red.

Look at this fucking dumb AI shit they're putting at the top of this now. This answer offers diverse perspectives on whether demons can love humans. Shut up. The amount I trust a computer to answer this is none. It's zero amounts. You know nothing of demons.

You have no soul. Or humans. They'll never impregnate you, and you'll never impregnate them. Nice try. Okay, so this is the other problem with Korra is that all of the answers there for a different question, which is can demons love,

which I don't care for. Right, because they can love other demons probably. Can a demon fall in love with a human in stocks? I guess that's the same. Okay, what's this answer? This is by Nimranisa Singandar. Their love never comes without an ulterior motive. Long-term benefit, psychological abuse, or manipulation.

So there you go. It's all about benefits and loss. Sure. Here's an ad for Gusto. I love my husband. I'm a demon. There you go, then. I'm a demon.

this guy says they have probably they have emotions too so there you go sources YouTube Google

oh but we're on Quora the ultimate source Google's a great source I don't know I looked it up seconded only by YouTube they're spiritual beings

all spiritual beings have some form of intelligence emotions likes dislikes habits personalities

etc that being said not every human is similar I think they're saying like not all humans are lovable that's true

I don't know what to tell you. You have to meet the demon halfway. Wait, can we scroll to the right a little bit to this ad of Dolly Parton wears a swimsuit in public look at photos? Does Dolly Parton wear a swimsuit in public? Let's find out. Wait, why is she bald? That is not her.

This is not Dolly Parton. Slabs over 40 are proof that age is just a number. And then there's just a bunch of celebs in bikinis. Yeah. Okay. Great. Over 40. Yeah, hairy and horny.

These are some hairy pussies on the website. Admittedly, the crowd is going crazy for this one. Now, this is the type of journalism I can get behind. This question, this answer ends with, only Jesus can show you love. Well, he says, I've spent countless hours talking to demons, much of it video recorded. They despise us.

Thank you. They call us ugly creatures. They all hate us and want to kill me and destroy me. Killing spree. Now, they do convince the person that they possess that they give them special powers. In one case, it was divination. The girl didn't really want the demon to be gone.

It was with her for over 20 years, but this demon had a mission to destroy this girl. Even though the girl thought it was friendly, the demons had her jump out of the car going down the freeway, had her in a bad car accident, tried to get her gang raped. But they kept saying that Jesus keeps saving her. They don't understand why Jesus wants her.

Wow, she got out of it. If you have a demon in you and you think it's friendly, think again. Demons do not love humans. Only Jesus can show you love. Can we click on... Oh, we're 1,000% clicking on this guy's profile. An important last thought on the Dolly Parton ad,

if you're listening, she is fully bald in it. Don't know what that's about. She's fully bald in the ad. Don't know if that's true. That's crazy. Email. Yeah, we can email this guy. That's true.

Multiple emails. He's got two. setfreedeliverance.daniel He also has a phone number. Setfreedeliverance is the company and he's Daniel. Which is crazy because my email is setfreedeliverance.daniel1 at gmail.

Beat me to it. Beat me to that. Feel free to contact me for prayer questions. We should contact him. I'm hanging up immediately, but I just want to see. No, no, no. We'll write an email.

We have a coordinator's Gmail account. This is in Belize, so you may be paying for this. I can't do that. Okay. I don't got the minutes for that. Remember when you had to buy minutes? Oh. Do you remember that?

What a time. Just thought about it. All right, hold on, hold on. We can email this guy. Do you want to do the Daniel one or Bain Tranche one? Because he could not get Bain Tranche at Gmail. Why don't you CC Bain Tranche? Are you just in my Gmail?

Okay. Wait, can we see what other questions he's asked or answered? Should we look at his Quora stuff? Yeah. I guess we could just go on his email. Well, I want to ask him a question. Okay, that's fair. His questions are, how do I travel to Central America with a small dog?

I don't know. Okay. You got to sneak him into the plane. What are your experiences with marine spirits? Click on that one. Click on that one. Wait, hold on. Click on that one.

If a Catholic dies in a car wreck on the way to confession, will he go to hell since he didn't repent of his sins? Whoa. He's texting, writing that on his phone on the way to confession. Thinking about lust. I think the answer is yes, right? I mean, you didn't get there in time.

Drive safer. Yeah. I'll take your word for it. Do you have any questions you'd want to ask this guy? So he's dealing with demonic influences. Do we have any, like... Ask him if he got his dog to South America. Hey, just wondering if you figured it out.

We're going to open a dialogue, and if he gets back to us, we can read it later. Hello, Dan. Is it annoying to get the same question on multiple of your emails? What are we asking? The dog one?

No, ask him about demons, and if you ever got the dog down. Ask both, whatever. Who cares? Did you ever manage to get your dog to come to America? Also, I met a demon on a dating site, and it's been going pretty good. Getting kind of serious, I think. Yeah, we both like the same video games.

Video games. Who's going to let Jared be coached for a minute here? Yes, dude. He's bringing up Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3. Legitimately played that yesterday. I would not think of that if you weren't sitting right here. Have you ever done a Christ air, Dan? Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, of course. I've done many Christ airs. So cool. Great. And send. This is good for the podcast. And send. The email for those listening is subject question for you,

and then the email is how are you. I've been wondering, did you ever manage to get your doctor to Central America? I've been dealing with many demons. A lot of them are nice. I've met one and fallen in love It's getting kind of serious We both love Tony Hawk, Rose Gators

The three just thought you'd find that swell Thank you Love Jeremy Love Jesus Christ We can't change the email now It took 25 minutes Thank you Jesus Christ Sounds different

So I guess it would be Jesus Jesus Christ there. It says his mailbox is full. That's kind of interesting. No, that's our mailbox. Oh, our mailbox. Ignore that. Forgot to buy minutes for the email, dude.

Wait, people email the Quora? They won't stop. Can we read one? No, no. Are they all fucked up? Some of them we can't read for sad reasons. Most of them are just people sending us Quora questions. We're reading them now in the show.

A lot of it is Claire fan mail we don't tell you about. Is it true? No. There's some. There's no fan mail. There's some. Damn.

Don't eat my chain. That was cold, big guy. Yeah, we did it. The other day they told me about a comment someone posted about how they liked my smile. That's right. Someone did say that. And so I've been thinking about that every day

and it's going, I guess I do have a nice smile. That's beautiful. It lights up my world. It's keeping me alive. Okay, read another one. Why is it that Ben hurt us so much? Oh, man. Okay, oh, this is the big guy one.

Sorry. Is there one more? I'm so lost. Well, the question we were on was the demon one. Do we want to go back to that at all or just call it a day? No, that one's done. We already sent an email. We've got one more.

There's one more. There's the final one. Can a witch still use magic if she becomes a vampire? What do we think? Everyone says yes, not one no. Shut up. What a strange question. I've never heard of this happening.

Someone thinking of it, they'd be like, well, I guess I'll ask Cora. Someone must know I don't want to talk at a turn here Oh, this is from the AI robot Why would a robot ask this? No wonder it's such a jumble Why would the robot want to know this?

I'm so humiliated every time the robot comes up We have it blocked It says blocked No It shouldn't even show up. Oh, that's brutal. Do the one about men being cruel. That one's long gone, baby.

Fucking hate this robot so much. Trying to ruin my life. Well, people are answering it in a thoughtful way. We might as well finish the thought. People are discussing this with a robot. This all depends on the fictional setting and how much. Shut the fuck up.