Quorators - Race War w/ Ben Katzner

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Why is every Caucasian race in the world our enemy? What is the Great Scientist Yakub's estimated I.Q.? As an Indian beta male how to enjoy MGTOW before parents force me into marriage? --- Follow Ben on YouTube @ https://www.youtube.com/@ShaqKatzner Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

it's recording um we got obs going everything's going everybody's got their laughs warmed up are you ready to laugh this is what happens when the claire is away the singers play it's a podcast for choral men amen Quarators. Quarators, coming through the ones and twos live from Jeremy's apartment. Are you checking the ones? Are you checking the twos?

It's coming through both of those numbers. And they're both through the roof, baby. We're back again. America's premier Quora-based podcast. Every week, going on Quora and looking at all the Quoras. Quarators, read the report. we got a balmy 80 degrees in new york actually one of the cooler days you're gonna get here because the rest of the time it is a desert emerging from the tropics now we got a hot

guest for you coming in today just the man you want to see here a returning guest i might add you maybe you saw his viral clip calling a woman a bitch he's like about an hour show if you've forgotten this quote-unquote viral clip. I do remember this clip. Everybody, you have the shirts at home. You have the merchandise. Ben Kastner is back again in New York City. It's a drawing of badness.

It's like, you're a bitch. It's really... I actually wanted to come back on to address that clip specifically. Oh, yeah, you guys are dating now, right? Fuck that lady. Oh, never mind. I said it again.

Double down. Hater, you're wrong. I'm back. Double down, she's wrong, and you're right. Yeah, I do come in really hot in that specific clip. I felt like I heard one part of it. Well, because you're not even on camera. until you're just like, she's a bitch.

You're right to say it. Thank you. It's a golden age of making fun of white women. It's like a Busta Rhymes feature in a song you didn't know he was in where he just blasts through the wall in the middle. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. You're like a podcast Busta Rhymes feature.

People have to pay a lot of money to get you on usually. Yeah, this is a $100,000 appearance for you, absolutely. Sometimes we record podcasts for Ben and you see him in the background just shaking his head. He's disappointed at what's happened to the game. uh no it's good to be back uh i'll try to come in less hot than no i guess just as hot hotter it's the sequel we need it to be even hotter it's the summertime i am legitimately turned on by what you

just did there maybe i'll do it again i don't love that now since the last time you have moved to the great state of minnesota is that correct that is true i am in minneapolis right now i'm still a comedian still alive gotcha i bet you guys didn't think that was gonna happen uh but yeah so doing uh doing living my life out of there i was gonna say doing my life from minneapolis now twin cities does that mean there's twice as much to love yeah it does every time i go through one i go and twins a podcast for me oh my god it's buster rides come on come on What would it be?

Busta Riffs? Busta Riffs. Busta Riffs is really good, Jeremy. That's good, but I... Is it? This is why we pay you the big bucks. Yeah, that's right. It's as good as it's going to get for a comedian.

Right, right, right. Oh, shit, it's Busta Riffs. And then... Yeah. I already lost it. I just have the name. If I saw a comedian go on stage as Busta Riffs, I would hate them, though.

But you're not leaving the room. No, I want to see what he's going to bust up. Exactly. How fast his jokes are. That's right. It's all one-liners. 30 jokes a second. It's like 500 Betty Feldman bits in one minute.

You ever see a bug? They're kind of crazy. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I'm getting really lost in the sauce here. We have a big theme this week. Now, a lot of you have been writing in saying, Alex, these themes seem added on after the fact. They don't really seem to control the content

of the course we're reading in any way. and it kind of seems like you're just slapping some words on the funny chorus of the week. Well, first of all, how dare you? But second of all, this week I think we'll challenge that very notion as we have a very conceptual offering on the table as this week is, of course, race war. Now, a lot of you have been writing and asking for this.

um we wanted to do this with claire unfortunately claire oh we should say this up top claire is moving to los angeles california and so she is out of uh town and busy for the next week or two so we are you're gonna miss claire for a little bit but um i did want her in here and to get her input as a as a valued member of the team of a race and also she is bringing in a non-white race to the podcast which we really like we would want a captain planet style lineup in an ideal situation uh so we are going to call her before we start and just just not know that we're doing this right i mean no i didn't tell her in advance i thought that would increase the odds she picks up uh this is essentially the first shot in a race war potentially yes oh yeah there you go

keep track of who fired the first shot the call not picked up around the world the the vile snow Snow Ape, Claire Ferdinand. First of all, Snow Ape, I'm taking that. Really good. That's how I started using it. Because I heard somebody else use it, and I was like, that's mine now. Okay, so we're going to call Claire, and I'm just going to ask if I can speak for all Asian people. Great.

I'm excited. Oh, it's through the thing. That's really good. That is good. It's a lot better than if you couldn't hear Claire, I think. Wait for it If you're listening at home Please wait

You're driving a car anyway I can't come to the phone right now Please leave a message And I'll get back to you Or send me a text Thanks Hey Claire It's the Quarriors Podcast

Just calling in First of all, miss you But second of all, we are doing race war today Ben is here ben katzner ben says hello uh and i guess we're saying now we were just wondering um if i can speak for all asian people because you're not here so if so give us a call back if no um you can just send me a text or whatever i guess we could just delete the whole thing um so just let me know when you hear this also we apparently are able to call people on the phone

now through the podcast we can do that at any time so a lot of big advancements coming hit the like and subscribe button on YouTube. What if we do pranks from now on? What if we go on a prank show? I think the question to ask yourself, if you start doing pranks, are you ready for that level of fame? Are you ready for that level of success?

That's true. You might explode. I've been putting my baby's face all over the internet, so I think I would be instantly destroyed upon achieving any level of fame. I do see that a lot, and I keep wondering,

what would it be like to be raised by Alex Patek? Because you posted a picture of your baby the other day. The doctor says that she's going to be bigger than Osama bin Laden. That's what he said. Which is... Wait. Six foot ten, by the way.

No, you're joking. Osama bin Laden is six foot ten. No, he's six foot six, I thought. We have the technology. I'm so sorry. Call him. Call him. Is your doctor for real saying that?

He is saying that she might be seven feet tall. Okay. Okay. Secondly, is your doctor saying that Osama bin Laden is six ten? No. Alex is the one bringing up Osama bin Laden. Apparently, he is six five. Okay, so he kind of looms larger than life for me.

This is actually just a really important topic to me, so that's why I wanted to make sure that we're historically close. What was 9-11 if not a race war of sorts? In my head, he's larger than the Twin Towers. That's what I hate about Hinge. Every terrorist is like, I'm 6'6", or whatever. It's like, you're actually 6'5". 6'6", uncut, 225 pounds.

A lot of really handsome stats. Anyway, I guess shout out. I didn't mean to bring you up here. That's Jeremy's fault. But anyway, I think my baby's going to be even taller. Oh, it's my fault. Because you brought him up. You brought him in here.

You brought him in here like a ghost that you're so desperate to summon on the podcast. He's at the bottom of the ocean now. Isn't that crazy? By the way, in the middle of a damn race war. Okay. Okay. All right. Okay.

Let's do space. Let's do hold on. It's not 9-11 episode. Hold on. Which is another good idea. It is a good idea. Let's do our famous segment, Race of the Week. Hit the button.

Space of the Week. So now from here on out, Alex, are you Asian regent or whatever? I'll just be speaking. Can you do the voice that you were doing before we started recording? I cannot do that voice. because there is no voice to do other than concentrated allyship that always channels through my voice.

Now, I will be speaking as Alex, but then sometimes as Claire, who is half Filipino, I will say stuff like, you know, as all Asian people, that's also true. So, very relevant space this week to start with.

That's a great Claire impression. Can I do my impression of Claire? Yeah, everyone do their Claire impression first. Can we actually pull up a video of a dog hanging out with a frog? I need to pee that's my clear impression which she did do

she had a farewell show on Sunday and in the middle of it she said I need to pee and I turned to Jeremy and I said it's not just a podcast she always has to pee

it's unrelated fair rules Ben do you have a clear impression no I feel so insensitive to even try to do something we both did it

not even racially or gender or anything it's just like I feel like we don't know each other well enough for me to be like

this is what Claire Neither do we. That's not how friends treat each other, is it? But as an Asian person, I think it's okay. He's an Asian. Now, this is the space, yeah, the VCR of Asia. Will we know she's actually back? Will we see it?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I got my eyes on it, buddy. Don't worry about it. This is the space Filipinos are not Hispanics nor Latinos. Great. Now, one of the first episodes Claire was on, we did an episode on if Italians were Latino, and I think I did accidentally think she was Latino

during that episode, and she got pretty mad about it. So this is kind of like when that happened. I think I was actually, first of all, it's a damn race war. When that happened, it was because of the reasons on this space and not just random colorism running free. So there's a pinned thing from Carla Barahama. Yes. I love putting your name on it.

This is good. Yeah. I think it's just letting people know. It is. Oh, by the way, the whole show takes place on Quora. uh and anyway she she says there you go and it's just some facts about spanish colonization in the philippines yes so the idea here is that this is the idea it's not saying like we're hispanic people who hate filipinos it is filipino people who don't like the uh hispanic like imperialism

right so it says like this group is to promote the pre-hispanic culture of the philippines Right, because you see back in old times, the kingdoms of Portugal and Spain and England, they cut the world into pieces on their map, on their greedy Euro map. That's right. With their nasty snow ape hands, and they divided it all up with their claws. And I guess the way that happened must have led to several Spanish colonies in the East Asian areas. And so I guess people are just calling Filipinos Mexican all the damn time and saying really insensitive things about them. Or I guess just confused things, really.

Just things that are not okay. I had some Filipino friends in high school who would always say that the Philippines is the Mexico of Asia or whatever. Right. Do not say that here. I'd say it. This is not a safe space. Also, can we say their logo real quick?

Which is like two Asian people like pointing at the Philippines. They're pointing at a conquistador, and he's saying, hold the picture. And he's kind of like, honestly, I know that he's not Jewish, but it feels like anti-Semitic somehow. He looks like the covetous Jew, and he's saying, hola, Indio. It looks like they took their least favorite thing from every race and put it onto one person. Yeah, they kind of did a collabo there on him, but he was trying to take the Philippines, which is quite greedy. And he's painting the Spanish flag all over the map. That is not okay.

He's gotten it all over Canada, actually, for some reason. Oops, I got my flag on your country. It's sort of a Reese's situation. So I might have fired the first shot by calling Claire, but I would say at least the second shot is Filipinos against Spanish people. Yeah. Now, this first post you wanted to read is locked behind Quora Plus. So we cannot read it, but it does look a bit wordy, so that's all right.

That's fine by me. You're kind of on a pretty literate space as far as Quora goes, because a lot of these are just like, oh, the D-Dog's Pound Zone, and there's one contributor, and then it's just pictures of a dick over and over again. And this appears to be from people who have read Booker's, too. There's a post from a guy who knows Tagalog, so that's pretty impressive. Yeah. Let's go to the questions.

Yes, please. Top question here. Of all the islands in the Philippines, why does Cebu have the most numbers of Hispanitas in social media? This feels wrong. It feels wrong that we're the three people. I'm not touching this one. Call Claire again.

She's like, we should not be here. She's probably busy is the thing. She's going to think I've heard or something. But I guess as Claire, I agree with everything they're saying here. Should Filipinos preserve the Hispanic culture or abandon it? Alex? I say preserve it. Can you click in?

Okay. There's one answer. It says, why would you preserve something that we don't have nor have incentive to have? Damn. What the hell? That's fucking bars, dude. Bro, blastin' on the nors. Not even Capiz Widows are Hispanic culture.

Single gunshot. Folks, it's a race war. It's a damn race war. It's an entire race war. It killed Hispanic culture, that one gunshot. Who do we have in the race war, by the way? Who's winning the race war? Oh, this is a projections up top.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's say you're the Nate Silver of race war. Who do you got? So nobody likes you. Yeah. As all Asia people, I have to say probably India just by- Sheer numbers.

First of all, sheer numbers and users on Quora, they are bringing the most to the table. Oh, is that the lens we're using as Quora? As Quora? I wasn't going to- Well, Quora is our vessel from which we can view the race war. From which we question. Okay. And curate.

I don't feel great about the chances for my fellow black people then. I feel like we're not really on Quora. Yeah. I tried to find, okay, so this is going to come up, but I tried to find some fun black questions that weren't just like extreme hateful questions from Nazis. How come they're ruining my life all the time? They veer continually on the side of like, well, it's more hateful than funny over and over again.

And we've done two episodes about Hitler. I'm here to answer some black hatred questions. Good, all right. If you want to jump in a little bit. And there was kind of like some fun HOTEP stuff I was getting onto, but that was more on individual accounts and not questions. So we'll see if we run into that. Just Kyrie's Twitter.

Is there any like Yacoub stuff on? Hell yeah. Do you want to search Yacoub on the bar? Yeah. And just see what pops up? For those listening, can we get a rundown? Hey, Bixby, can we pull up Yacoubian, please? Jamie, pull up, Yacoub.

I would love to watch that for real. Joe Rogan learning about Yacoub. It says here one guy invented all white people as evil. That's crazy, man. That's crazy. He must have been on LSD or something. He's kind of like the Riddler, but for Africa. That guy created me?

I see that, yeah. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Kind of from his labs. So his full name is Yakub Memon. I did not realize we had a full last name. Is that true? Is that actually, or is that a different person? Wait, or is that a different person?

Why can't Sanjay? All right, now we're leaving Google to actually get to the bottom of it. No, this is an unrelated guy. Yeah, this is just a different guy. This is a guy, and he looks like he's in India, and he's unrelated. He's a terrorist who did bombings. How tall is he? It doesn't say on Wikipedia for some reason.

That is not a real terrorist. Bigger or smaller than my daughter. Bigger and smaller than my daughter. I think she's around a foot and a half in the moment. He died in 2015. God, I hope he's smaller than your daughter. Again, regretful shout out. It doesn't say on Google, even if you search his name.

That's all right. That's okay. We're releasing a plot here again. No, no, you're right. There's not much Yakub, the guy who invented white people. Go to the top. It says Yakub, nation of Islam topic. Okay.

Or mythological figure. What is the great scientist Yacoub's estimated IQ? This is a fantastic question for the race war. Click on this. Let's get to the bottom. I want to know his fore... Okay, so if you haven't seen Yacoub, you should pull it up,

especially if you are driving. And his forehead is around like a foot tall. Yeah, okay. I can't believe you know this, Alex. His whole thing is that he has a big head. I have tried to do a Yacoub episode before and been like, this may be too much. This is for sure.

This is the part where I'm like, damn, you got to call another black person in here. All right, hold on. Who do we know? I'm so surface level, but it's like, this is for sure like a David Borey, Langston Kerman kind of situation where I know they know all the shit about this. And I'm just like, I'll talk to my boys about it later. I get the premise. I've seen the early concept. He's basically the guy from Invincible.

I am also thinking of the guy from Invincible. This is a Squidward energy, I would say, is where I was going to go first. Handsome Squidward. Yeah, handsome. It's handsome Yacoub. Yacoub, undeniably very handsome. Yeah, sure. Except for the top of his head.

From the bottom of the eyes down, I'm into it. The issue is that he has a one-foot diameter head. That's a lot of surface area to sit on. That's what I would say to him if I was trying to be sweet. Do you think that when they made the villain from Invincible, they modeled it from the image of Yacoub? I don't know. looking at it that is a really good question because it the head part of it's very similar

very much seems like that his name is anstrom levy and he has an incident that makes his head too big yes he's he's very yakub-esque that it's the shape this is a this is a good person to pull up for this episode because he also probably has some beef in this right he has sides to pick in this right he's you know he's picking uh picking a fight with a half asian man so and he's picking humans over supers as well yeah that's the kind of his whole thing as i recall if if if we had to choose that if we're going humans over supers where are you going i'm going supers on that one really you're gonna do sex yeah obviously i'll be i'll do whatever they want and i mean anything i'll fuck you omni man you can fly all around i'll just try to get bread

but the thing is they don't really well it's a it's a considered a crime to breed with a a non uh super isn't it that's not quite true what are invincible oh yeah all right the rule is and i hate to get into this the rule is that they have to look humanoid that's also not true even if they're bugs you can fuck them no because he does fuck the bug and it's considered a crime because they arrest him. I just watched it. It'll keep going. I have a damn baby

and I'm watching an untowards amount of television all of a sudden. We're way off the plot. Race war. This is the plot. This is what it is.

This is it. It's Yakub. Who do we think? Who can we call who knows about Yakub? I didn't have more calls planned. What other races

are we looping in? All of them. It's a war. it's true it's brother against brother worth mentioning the guy who invented white people for a race war yeah i feel like that's mentioned send us the memes okay fine you could mention let's go to his estimated i'm wearing my yacoub hat this question has no answers okay no nobody has any estimation of yacoub's given iq one guy said hey yacoub is that you long time no see how's it going i didn't know you were on shut the fuck up that's hilarious actually because who else would

be asking this question except for you this is unique to quora social media but you get like hecklers on all your posts yeah people are just there to tear you down sure as a white person how do i review my creator yakub and practice trick knowledge that sounds like a thing that a white person would say about like rap music in the 90s like get that trick knowledge out i think it is tricking me i think it is from something it's a sin to think in rhyme to each their own who knows is right around my opinion this guy's trolling i think yeah all right we're not trolling right now it's brother against brother in the race war i like why did yakub create jeremy please click the question on the document that's a good question this is a really funny answer okay

why did yakub create white people it says what do you mean by white people this is in truth a very diverse group of people yeah and just doing like like i agree that that's the whole thing right that like white people isn't a real thing like it's like you know a status that people But it's a very funny answer to give to why did Yacoub create that? Actually, Irish were not considered white. He merely created Italians. Next question. That's why they're so aggressive.

Okay, let's go on to the questions. Yes, please. What is our first segment here? Quora MD. Good. We start at the lab. here on quora md there's a race war happening hospital why do white people seldom take baths oh no you did not say that

and then as they all asian people i'd say well let's hear them out This is going to blow my mind. Now, how often do you bathe, Jeremy? I got to be honest. I never take a bath. Who's taking a bath? Okay, see, this is what's bringing the thing that... Okay.

You know, I don't have, like... In New York, I feel like especially the baths are not bountiful. I know one person who takes a bath in New York. It's Renan Hirschberg. That's it. Oh, really? Ben Wasserman takes a bath every night as well. Are these people...

Hold on, hold on. Are these people taking baths? New theory. They're formulating all of a sudden. Jew alert What button is Jew alert By the way You just click a button

And it's like Hava Nagila We should get a Hava Nagila button You know it's time For new sounds It's time to get Hava Nagila on the subway

That will never be used poorly Every time's a celebration Sounds like Jews Be taking baths Can we do an episode Where I'm just being Carried in a chair The whole time

Yes it'll be the end Of this episode I've only been carried In a chair one time And it was a thrill Oh did you do it For your wedding I did for my wedding, but unfortunately, my wedding was full of baka goys.

Baka goys is insane to say. That's crazy. Those filthy snow apes almost dropped me at the damn side of the chair. So I had one friend who was like my wife's friend's husband who essentially just like single-handedly kept me aloft when all of my idiot friends completely dropped the chair. And so I'm like sideways in the pictures. But it rocked. It was a lot of fun. Can you opt out of the chair?

I don't think you can. I don't think you can I mean they're not supposed to drop you sure but I just you know as a bigger guy

I think there I think about those moments where it's like if there's a I'm sitting in a chair and I know I've just ruined everyone's night because like

we got to get more guys I need to get I need to go to the gym you need to see people coming in instead of lining up for like the garter or the bouquet

or whatever it's people lining up to be like okay we're going to do this in waves here we go what you need is a chair with more like carrying yeah what you need is a throne so it would be good i would also posit what about like a barbershop chair that's so then it's like

hey you're being lifted and it's just like something going creek creek creek creek that's pretty good talk about a race war talk about a race war bring it to the barbershop now back for white okay i will say baths there are bath houses as well there but these guys are bathing in their own homes. Oh, you're talking about Asian people? No. You pointed at me. You said Ben and Ronan. Oh, yeah. They are bathing in their own homes.

These are bads. I'm not a spokesperson for all white people. It's a great way to start. I do like that. That's on the answer. Before we read the answer, we got to get this sorted early. Okay. Jews are white people?

I think so. People are trying to make the argument that we're not. It's kind of the discussion for the day, isn't it? There's going to be people who disagree with us, but I think, yeah. We're lumping you in there because you can't go in the sun. I would say not all. Yeah, that's true. But for this, I like us trying to find nuance in the race war episode.

No, no, it's a race war. I will say this. Jews are white people for the most part, but boy, are we trying hard not to be. We're saying anything we can. Oh, no, we're saying. Okay, let's try to be doing that, boys. Do not speak for us. There's a free parking sign.

I still think that's the most anti-Semitic anyone's ever said, was fucking, what's her name? What's the, Eve Barlow on Twitter, who was like, my friend saw a free parking sign and his heart sank. Yeah, he got scared. Because he thought it said free Palestine.

It said the Jews are tired. And I think that's the most anti-Semitic thing I've ever heard in my life, is someone imagining a Jew being like, oh, brother, oh, God. Plus the implication too is like, jews hate free parking i know it's so funny to me they could be collecting rent on that parking what's funny is i'm like i think that's a stolen mike racine joke so that's i don't think she did

it years ago oh well sorry so now mike racine is stealing from you you owe eve money um so back to white people taking baths let's just read from more can i just say one last thing about eve In case people don't remember, everybody called her Eve Fartlow, including Seth Rogen, and she wrote a whole article about it saying that they were making a gas chamber reference to her. Oh, wow. I applaud that level of spin. That's awesome, actually.

That's very funny. Race war. Race war. When you fart underneath the covers, it's a gas chamber. All right, we have an answer from Mora Rudd, who says, I bathe regularly. You should, too. I am not a spokesman for all white people. but I am one and have known quite a few in my lifetime.

I've been getting around to the whites. Speak on it, Mora. We tend to take showers more than baths. They are quicker, which is a big plus. I just want to remind people that her name is Mora. Alex wasn't saying speak on it in the voice of Jar Jar Binks. Speak on it? I dare not speak in such a voice.

It's not as part of the race war. Gungans? Jar Jar's in this, by the way. I guess they are well they're more of a species than a race I would argue

he had like an island culture vibe to him that's true that was the thing people said the Star Wars prequels in themselves

were kind of a race war but we can't get into that there's no time you keep saying we can't get into this stuff and then I'm like no that's exactly right why was the trade federation

why did they have the accents they had because they had to sound like something and you're not going to make up a new thing yeah Neboidians

they're Asian droid cars um okay uh we tend to take shower i'm reading back to the white people bad thing we tend to take showers more the baths they are quicker which is a big plus unless you are the type who likes to luxuriate in the tub this isn't the answer then this is crazy this is wrong because the question is why don't they take baths which no one does well she says right below and she's just like i take both of them take showers if you would just listen to mora and listen to white people. Most people don't have time for that, it says. I'm sitting my Jew

ass down. So if you're not a comedian Ben Wasserman or Renan Hirschberg, you can't sit down in a tub all day because you've got to go back to the mines and reach your little hands into the walls and pull out gems. On the bottom here, it says and on a personal note, the idea of sitting in my

bath water grosses me out. How do you feel about that? I've never thought about it. Don't care. It does get kind of gross, I feel like. It doesn't bother me. I'm not peeing in it i've been doing baby baths with my little baby because she can't sit up by herself yeah so i have to get in there with her and uh i am thinking the whole time of just like i'm kind of sitting in a bunch of sand now yeah i'm back from the beach covered in sand it's gonna damage the pipes i get that it doesn't bother me i like it it's gonna damage the pipes it's crazy i i never

it's i've never thought of it in that way it's so relaxing it's so like you just put your ears under when you do it and then you're like wow it's like i'm not even alive anymore it's like i'm in a different you know what i like to do it's great it's like you're not even alive does this count for anything to do the hybrid sit down in the shower uh i used to do that every day and when i went to school i would argue my saddest days i've sat down in the shower i used to fall asleep but they tell you not to do it they say you will die and i said i'm so tired i don't that's a little strange would you fall asleep sitting up well i would be going to high school and i would wake up at six and i need to be like leaving at seven and i would uh lie

down in the shower and then immediately fall asleep kind of for 10 minutes or so and then be like oh no yeah and then i'd wake back up and uh then they'd uh ship me out to learn bread in your mouth or whatever not not my mayo ass learning something gotcha uh do we want to read some more answers here can we just say this is a fault the problem with this question is it's a false premise it's the idea that only that it's crazy that white people don't take back no one does this Yeah. It's actually, honestly, just like most racial things, it's not about race.

It's probably about class and how much time you have. Sure. If you're the Duke, you're taking a bath. And the two richest people we know, Renan Hirshberg and Ben Wasserman, have the money to do this. So it's not, you know. I feel like there's a fun parabola curve with this, though,

which is, like, the extreme poor people are also being put in a big cauldron and given a bath at the same time. And then the wealthiest kings and queens are luxuriating with their novels. If we go to bathhouses, what are the types of bathhouses? Russian? Turkish? That's it, right?

Harlem? A lot of gay guys be going to those to just have a fuck for all. That's not to get clean. Oh, that's true. You might get cleaned out a little bit. Clean the pipes, maybe. Oh, man. Incidental fire on the gay

community during the race war. You're all part of this. Is no one safe? November rain says most of us prefer showers. Occasional bath is good, too. You should try it. Okay, but if I do think about this, the people I know who take baths,

taking the two people we've talked about out of this, it's mostly a white person thing to me. That's so interesting. Taking a bath? Yeah, when you're young, it's almost everybody. But then you get older, it's like, so let's call it 21 to 35. Then it's probably mostly white people to me.

but then after that you kind of age out of it old the older you get you're like i just need to rest my i need to soak my gears who's buying bath bombs if not white people yes oh yeah yeah i'll throw in there's like probably a strong single black woman who's throwing a bath bomb in there i don't know black men who take baths and if you're watching i know you're not uh but but if If for some reason you are, reach out to me specifically. I want to know your life, and I want to know what you're doing. And I want to hear about what products you're buying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, interesting development on the bath question. We have an answer from Stephen Smith, who appears to be a black philosopher on why don't white people like to take baths. And he says, easily the stupidest, most racist question I have ever seen on Quora. That's crazy. I've seen so many worse questions on Quora. On behalf of white people, how dare you? That's hilarious. So, yeah, you have to be doing it right here.

I tend to agree. I'm sorry to Stephen. It's a fucking race war. Who has an MBA from the School of Hard Knocks. Oh, and he is from London. Hit it. Over here, we don't take baths. He was spotted.

Spotted you, and we see what you said. It's race war. It's a damn race war. You think I'm a fucking downer? You think I'm taking a fucking bath, mate? It's color against color. And that has a U in it. That's true.

If you see it spelled, it's different. That's awesome. Let's go to a different question. Next question, please. If we keep making fun of Ron and Hirschberg, I'm going to quit this podcast. Your best friend. What's too corbid and fruit?

Smallest victory. That's not it either. Cut this so it's good. I feel like I'm in a roast battle. I don't think you're in a roast battle. No one's called you gay yet. By the way, Ben is gay. Yeah.

Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, dang. Busta Riffs. That's a good roast battle character. That's not bad. Really good.

One of us should be that guy. We can all write for Busta Riffs. It's kind of hard to do because, again, Busta Riffs' main thing is his incredible speed. I think you're gay and you suck. We can make it all work. We'll figure it out. You're gay with your dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here's a question. If Jesus returned, would his black life matter? Oh, boy. Jesus Christ. Flawless victory. That's a crazy question. This is what we call by the books a perfect Quora question. This is insane.

And another thing that can happen in the race war. Quora now. Race war. Hell yeah. What a sample. Okay, so. Let's break this down. Romans would probably say no.

Hold on. No, we need to figure out what the question even means. I can't believe that's how far back you already went. I guess he's returned so Romans aren't around so when people say what is Black Lives Matter I feel like usually

people are saying it in regards in regards to Black Lives Matter yes almost as like a dismissal of it right

they're like oh so Black Lives Matter but not OJ or something right is that not the context of it or George Floyd probably so for this one

oh sure yeah that's usually less OJ I guess I thought it was more right wing people but maybe you're right that's the other way around

this feels like a left-wing person but not super so they're they're in touch they're in tune with some of this but you notice the b in black isn't capitalized so they're not fully woke yet wow oh yeah so they're saying right that's your king you're talking about just to be just to be perfectly defensive i was thinking of megan keller the other day saying something um she was like oh zoran wants to defund the police what about when oj killed his girlfriend i remember that that that is an interesting parable there. Here's the thing about

when somebody says something stupid like that, it's like, I do love a counterfactual, so we're going to get into what if Zoran killed a white woman or whatever. That was not what the example was. I mean, what she said made no more sense than that. Which was that if you defund the police, then OJ would get away with murder.

We'll do hers, then we'll do mine. So this person is, in my opinion, from the left, subbing the idea that, so they're being like, because obviously Jesus is black. And then it goes, oh, actually, okay, now I'm reading this and maybe I'm completely wrong. I understand why you thought the way you thought, Jeremy.

Okay, I guess. I don't know. Whatever. Who cares? Let's read this fucking shit. Notice under related questions. Halfway through, I realized I might be wrong. Notice under the related questions it says, what if Jesus were black? I just don't understand what they're saying. I understand what they're saying. This is a classic liberal gotcha post. That's what I thought. That they

would use against like someone like sarah palin that's oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh you know uh i can think of one guy whose black life would matter his name was jesus christ oh i see your little homeboy by the name of jc i was confused because i was like sarah palin doesn't care about black lives matter exactly but i see what you're saying you're saying it's the opposite where she goes a black live i don't i don't believe in black lives matter and he says well what about if jesus came well check the very chain on your chest of your crucified lord who as black as the day is long you should get you should get sarah palin it's a race i would love to have her i can see russia from my house you would be so good on fox news honestly

guys please uh yeah so that i do like this kind of it is it is the lame kind of left-wingy question or like thing of being like uh it's the equivalent of being like uh head cheeto in charge it's like has that same energy. I can think of a Cheeto who should be in the White House. His name is Chester. Oh, shit. And I guess that would be like the advertising executive for Cheetos.

Trying to point... Okay, I would like to read the one answer on this question because it does seem pretty powerful. Say it. If Jesus returned, what does Black Lives Matter? Go. The answer is from Jordan Omabaiwo who says, and his only bio is Mon.

That's actually just... It was from Monday. It was on his bio. I thought it was like a Digimon kind of thing. Like, Jordan, I'm on your wall, man. It's Jordan Mon. Yeah, he's actually Jamaican. It's a damn race war. Jordan says, with no specific accent,

The truth has no specific color nor form, but all colors and all forms, whether black, white, blue, yellow, all represents the true aspects of life. black doesn't need jesus to return black or white to achieve their fundamental goal as much and far as jesus represents the true objective ultimate and unchanging reality that reigns over all and manifests as the subjective creations that carries out the creative function of the subjective reality universally the rain and sun fall and shines on all without exclusion okay so that explains it i do have one i have a problem with one sentence in here oh just just the one yeah black doesn't need jesus to return black or white to achieve their their fundamental goal

let's talk yeah what is the goal i hope i'm not speaking out of school here uh i don't know that we for i think our general goal is like hey leave us the fuck alone i would say that's if we're being real that's what it is it's not like conquer england or something no No, we don't want any. It's sad. Because it is a race war. Yeah, it is a race war. Okay.

So, okay, in the race war context of this, this is a great framing of the question. I guess it's to kill all the other races. Yeah, that's right. So, yeah, we don't need Jesus for that. Defeat them in battle. So, if you're just listening to this podcast, too, it's very important to understand

that that particular answer was full of very interesting capitalizations. You kept going, by the way. It's simple. Jesus is the truth both in words and physical is within and manifested in every forms of creation of the creator. So his in both black and white equally.

That is why black life matters equally like every other life's, but because it is treated by the white supremacist as something that doesn't matter is the tragedy that draws the responding calls and the reminder that black life matters. It's interesting that he kind of answered the question just in the comment to his own answer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the first one was just word salad. That's not bad. This is a question. The question is from Tommy Ross. Tommy Ross. He's a former author, lives in Chicago, and he is the admin of Sex 101.

Which we should click on. It's just an intro level class. Yeah, I was going to say, I think you would have leveled up on that. You probably know everything on here. Yeah, there's actually nothing on it. Yeah, I bet this is just about creating life. He has asked 100 questions.

Most recently, are you having a hard time understanding an Aries? Pretty good stuff. Now I'm an Aries, and people frequently do. As a BBC... Hold on a second. What are we...

As a BBC narcissist, don't I have the right to supply if I'm causing so many orgasms that is what I was wondering I do think we need to what the fuck so this is I think a this is a powerful black author

who would like are you picking up on that from do ladies still love monster cocks is that how you're picking up well he keeps referring to himself as having a BBC and also did that original question about Jesus are these titles are those the questions that he's answering

No, no. These are his questions. Those are his questions. These are all the same person who asked the Jesus question. Okay. Do you read a book where black people get this? What makes a white woman want to become a queen of spades? Jesus Christ.

Okay, so as this is a race war, I'm wondering, can we do like trades? Can we trade this guy out? Oh, I'll take this guy. Can we boot him? Do I take him for white people or Asians, though? But you have to give someone, though. What? Who do I got to give?

I'm not giving Hideo Kojima or anything. Nobody good. Or he could just be a defector. Can I just say, I don't like this question. You can get a weird guy. What's your favorite car nowadays? Oh. Still the Dodge Viper after all these years.

What's your favorite car to get pounded by a BBC? I'm just wondering. Pulsing BBC here. What's your favorite color? Okay, if we do a trade, you can have this guy. We get Chet Hanks. Yeah, that's fine. Oh, yeah.

Chet Hanks. Yeah, that makes sense. He'd be ecstatic about that. You guys get Tommy Ross. Here's the thing is, I feel like the Whites as a team have a lot of Chet Hanks's and almost no Tommy Ross's.

Yeah, Chet Hanks is a spare. Yeah, that's good for us. You want to diversify your skill set. Yeah. That's a good trade. This is our last episode ever, I think. My wife says she loves the way I look in gray sweats. Am I wrong for sending her pics?

No. You have a... Oh, your friend's wife. I was like, never mind. Oh, I missed that part. Yeah, that's the kind of... Yeah, you're wrong. What are we even?

Tommy, stay in your lane. This is also a great question that's in advertising for his book. Am I wrong for granting the sexual fantasies of my book readers? This person is insane. You're wrong for this one. Do you want to answer it? I love the idea of George R. R. Martin being like, am I wrong for granting the magical fantasy? Do you want me to answer it?

What do you want me to say? Say you're wrong for this one, Tommy. This is also underneath, do you want to see my huge black dick? Don't answer that one. No answers yet. Say you're wrong for this one, Tommy. This question was written four years ago. All right, there we go.

Send that in. And now that is sent. This is so fun. You guys are so good at this. Thanks. On my podcast, we have comments and stuff that we were like, we'll write a response. And then eventually we'll respond to it. I never even thought of it.

Like, what if we just do that in real time? Oh, yeah. Never once thought about it. Who cares? Now, granted, it is bad podcasting, but you can't let that slow you down. All podcasting is bad. You can't let that slow you down. Okay, let's go to our next question here.

There's a whole race war to deal with here. We are in the thick of the race war right now. Yeah, let's get back to the race war. We're done with this Jesus BBC question. We barely even talked about any other races. Let's go to the Quokker. Supplies are running thin in this race war. Guess what?

We've got a new race. Hit the Quokker button. See ya. Okay. Yeah, we're fucked. As an Indian beta male, how to enjoy MGTOW before parents force me into marriage? marriage now this is an important question because it's kind of it's indians but it's also kind of the universal race war which is against parents and also just incel lifestyle do you know

no i need to know what this big tau is men going their own way okay it is a group of incels who have decided you know what we don't need women we'll go our own way the implication create our own man society if you'll allow me to speak asianly the implication is to kind of as a man become a Ronin sexually and to lose mastership of the female master. We're all samurai. Sexually.

For the day, Claire said it was okay by not answering her own. Passively, she's on board with what's happening. She's passively on board and definitely knows all about it. I do think if you're going to speak Asianly, you do have to say as proxy or as

regent, as Asian regent. I do think we have to know when you're switching. As regent, as like a, what's the word? Not vizier. I hope you guys like this episode. If you don't like this episode, what the fuck do you like? What have you been doing? This is awesome.

It's all been leading up to this. This is so good. This is our greatest arc. Anyway, as an Indian beta male, how to enjoy MGTOW before parents force me into marriage? Probably, I guess, just like get a really good hobby. I mean, like, how do I enjoy no sex before my parents make me have some? Go your own way. I think you have to.

That's about white. Hell yeah, dog. First of all, let's say that in a positive way. Shout out to the Fleetwood Mac as well. One of our strongest soldiers. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's a good squad. That's your, like, hit squad.

Send in Fleetwood Mac. this is interesting because like you know if you're gonna be an incel ronin whatever

that feels weird to put the two together incel ronin going your own way my favorite new artist is incel ronin dime views be damned I feel like

you can't give a fuck about what your parents think at all you're thinking too far ahead it's just go do whatever you wanna do

don't let parents tell you to have sex you need to be a child going your own way thank you go your own way from mommy and daddy. You can be a boy

going your own way before you're a man. You have to be, even. So, I don't know. Start getting into male hobbies, right? Like, get into... UFC.

Yeah, UFC. Battle tops. Competitive card games. Warhammer 40K. Warhammer. Yeah, paint your figures. Like, what's a better place for someone who doesn't

want any women around than the Warhammer? That's a good point. You know, you're going to divide the comment section with saying things like that, but it's true. Yeah.

I'm not going to stop you. I jerk off with your boys. I'm not going to stop you Because we're both on this team of white people. Go to the bathhouse on men-only night. Yeah. I do think part of being an incel dude, or honestly, for a lot of people, there's actually, I'm not kink-shaming, I'm not saying anything here.

There is a point where it's like, it's a lot of people just like jerking off with a friend. I've been thinking about this because someone brought it up in a way that he was like, we all do this, right? And I was like, I've never done that. When you say jerking off with a friend. So like- I've heard of this. Okay.

I've never participated. you're 12 you're at a sleepover you put on Terminator 2 I don't know what the movie is there's no nudity in Terminator 2 there's a lot of male nudity

Terminator 3 whatever you put on something something happens you get a little hot and bothered and then it's like someone puts a pillow over themselves someone's under a blanket and then it's just kind of like then a bunch of boys go their own way

and if you stop going your own way it's gay there's only one way through to straightness keep your eyes on Arnold Schwarzenegger and not on me you're watching the opening scene of Jerry Maguire it's 1998

oh buddy hold on I only got a pillow real quick you have years before the race war you didn't even know this you didn't even have an inkling that this race war was coming but you knew you were about to But yeah, a lot of young men, that's how they learn themselves, is in a room with other young men. So maybe these people, if they're worried about not being a real man or whatever, find a couple buds.

Watch, I don't know, what do you think? Final Destination 2 has some boobs in it. Final Destination 2. Nice. Man, I'm really struggling with movies that have any sort of, I said Easy A. My friend made me watch American Pie the Naked Mile in high school, which is just porn. And you didn't jack off with him? No, we did not.

A bit rude. This is my new... Yeah, you're not good for that. Not a good friend. I jacked him off. That's fair. Oh, but this movie's really lacking something. If you want to be a man in America,

you have to watch one of the films of the American Pie franchise, and you have to jerk off with someone else in the room. Okay, yeah, I think that's fair. My suggestion, again, is to go bowling. I would like to... I would like to watch... Tips for bed, bud. Tips for men.

Sure. Tips for men. Jack off your friends. Or go bowling. I'm interested into what the Bollywood alternative to American Pie Naked Mile is. Oh, that's actually very funny to imagine. And this is a tangent, but I'm very into the idea of someone who thinks men going their own way is just being gay. And is like, yeah, I'm just trying to be a man going my own way.

Going my own way. But women keep stopping me. Take your pants off. I mean, that's the ultimate endgame to this. If you're boxing out women in this whole process. It's the logical end point. Yeah, I'm at this bathhouse trying to go my own way. That's why they're adding M to the LGBTQ.

It's MGTOWs. That's funny to add another acronym to an acronym. Yeah. It's sort of like a folding thing of acronyms. What's the M for? You're not going to like it. You're not going to want to hear it. It's MGTOW.

Now, we've been having a lot of fun thinking this through. But I do want to read the comments here. We have one from Manveen Singh who studied at Kill Myself or Khamas. K-H-M-S. I don't know. Couldn't get into the school of hard knocks, that stuff. Khamas is stealing my answers. Okay.

So you want to be alpha for some time so that you can get back to beta after that for remaining part of your life in a comfortable manner? Sounds like a really bad idea. Yeah, good point. Instead of that, think and work upon what you want to get out of your life. be self-aware take decisions for yourself and enjoy men going their own way in every sense say it in your sexy voice alex in every sense that's great and also shout out fleetwood mac again just cutting it even to the indian answer and then it ends with all the best pal and then a code of some kind i guess that's that's manveen singh's friend code if you want to add them on

quora that's really cool that's so cool uh arjun rajiv says you are a free individual sure you may have responsibilities but then as long as you fulfill them you are doing your basic duty um so i guess a lot of people are just saying hey just stay commig tau don't even get married yeah it's weird that there's nothing about jerking off in here i thought that would be a bigger part yeah it's not really about that it's mostly about men hobbies also we haven't really mentioned this There's been a big update to Quora since the last episode. Big software update, yeah. All these new tabs at the top.

When I do the screenshots for social media, it's totally changing the look of it. Yeah, it's interesting. There's topics now. It must be some AI thing that's trying to guess the different topics of your question. That is what it is. Weird.

Weird. I don't like it at all. Keep your robots out of our race war. Question is from Anonymous. Let's move on to politics. Yes. Great. No.

No. why is every caucasian race in the world our enemy great question where do we start here there's a lot of reasons for this um and this is gonna be something i'm gonna get stuck on caucasian i know we just mean white people and or white devils as we may call them it does make me think of the caucasus mountains which is a very specific section of europe that like early race scientists who have all been proven wrong believe that white people all descended from the Caucasus region. I believe that is the

origin of this. That's where Yacoub's lab was. Yes, that's where he made them. Right before his fight with Invincible. Good luck, Invincible, against my new creation. Polish guys! Watch as they try to screw in this light bulb!

Oh, just try getting directions from them. Oh, this is, there's such a funny joke in this answer okay but uh we're not there yet right we're not there yet so we can be why is every caucasian race in the world our enemy so this answer is actually from a different question why does everyone on earth hate white people much like everyone hates chris everyone hates white people that's fun yeah it you know i would even i would pause it i don't No, why don't you ask them? Why don't you ask them?

Listen to white people. Hashtag listen to white people. It's got like the big brother face above it. Okay, so there's a guy getting very defensive to the question, why does everyone on Earth hate white people? And I bet it's going to get spicy. Ben, do you want to read it? What was the funny line?

Not all of this. This is crazy. What was the one funny line? First graph. So I'll read this part. I'll read it until it gets to the part. I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but back in Shakespeare's day, which already says it's spicy.

We love going back there. The world wasn't covered with white people. Two centuries later, they were all over the world like Sherwin-Williams paint. That's the part that's funny to me. That's really good. Are Sherwin-Williams just every, is that like a common reference for everyone? That's a goddamn bar. Honestly, kind of a white person thing to say.

We were all over the place like Sherwin-Williams paint. Pushing everybody else out of the way except for the ones they enslaved to pick, oh Jesus to pick on or cut sugar cane, or they decimated with European diseases, bloodily suppressed rebellions like the Indian mutiny of the 1850s, did a lot of lynching down home. Wait, what?

What the fuck? White people did this? We can probably just assume that this guy... I think he's on the side of fuck white people. Yeah, I think so. His name is Joseph Marshall. He is an old Santa Claus-looking man from New Mexico. He's kind of a Benedict Arnold to whites.

Yeah, he's a traitorous white. And he's a member of the space's bare-bottom spanked and narratives for spank-a-files. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. He also is a member of the space Miss Ed Space disciplinarian Simi Retire. Now there's a blurred image here. Do we dare to click it?

That kind of looks like a toilet full of blood to me. Do we dare to click it? Bad, do you care if I click this blurred image? I might get sprung as hell. Okay, it's just a beautiful woman. This is the stuff men should be talking about. But you better not touch, boy. It says that on the image.

It says, at home is your wife and her belt, boy. You can look, but you better not. No, you better not. You better not. This woman keeps calling me boy. I don't like that at all. Very arousing for me. I'm saying she's talking to you and not me.

If she's talking to me, it's a different context. Can I please go to Spankaholics? You have to. There's nothing good for us on Spankaholics. There's nothing bad. People are addicted to spanking. We're here on Spankaholics. 7,000 followers.

107 contributors. Robin Wright Penn is in this. Sean Penn's ex-wife is in this. There's nothing you could do about, like, if you go on quarry, you're going to find perverts. This is awesome. Even in the middle of a war, soldiers need their rest. Right.

And they can go to the space spankaholics to get them. How should I punish my, oh, no. How should I punish my 16-year-old girl for, okay. Well, that's not good. See, the thing is, it is going to get into pedophiles because it's spanking. I ignore that, but what about this question? Have you ever practiced self-spanking?

how did you administer that spanking and what did you feel after you were done there's three answers I imagine that's hard to do to really hit yourself it's like tickling yourself you can't really punish yourself that way you can't do it, it can't be done even St. Francis couldn't spank himself

and he was deceptively trying to that whole time can I ask a weird question what's the hardest you guys can hit yourselves have you ever thought about that sometimes I can do like a really okay so like you could if you wanted to I'm not even thinking like

that's too far for me but sometimes I'll just for fun I'll just see how hard I can hit my thigh. Oh, when you hear a knee slapper? Like sometimes I'll do like not even I'm mad

at myself or anything I'm just like what can I handle? Oh, wow. That sounds like you're maybe going through some stuff. Am I not? You're kind of pushing yourself

to the limit. Okay. Here's what I do. This is a real thing I do is I will lose at a video game and then hit my leg pretty hard and then afterwards be like

I should not have hit it that hard. That hurt more than I intended to. You know what? I don't think I'm good enough at video games because I just lose too much to be doing

that kind of stuff. Yeah, Jeremy's kind of addicted to losing. Yeah, I love it. He never does any self-spanking like I do.

Could we please click the self-spanking question and see the answers because I'm very curious. Yeah, so we can do such a thing. Have you ever

practiced self-spanking? If yes, how did you do it? This is from Alfred Newman who is the Mad Magazine. Mad Magazine.

And his bioprofessional daddy. He says, self-spanking has a historical basis. Shut the fuck up. There's a group in Germany who whip themselves with tree branches in imitation of Christ having been whipped.

Oh, and you think his black life doesn't matter, Alfred? All right, that's editorializing. This said, there is a human need to be punished and controlled even among those who were as children. That never really goes away. The urge is often controlled among adults and is often viewed as a fetish or kink, but is actually a normal desire.

This is like an alien wrote this. This is insane. I'm like, no, human beings want to be controlled. They don't want to be free. Can you believe this was written by a professional daddy? Yeah, that's nuts. That's somebody who's daddy for money. Can we review his practice and tank him on Yelp or something?

I kind of want to read more of the answers. He's also an anarchist. Oh, interesting. Which is very funny to me. He's like, human beings want to be controlled. But not me. I'm bigger. But not me.

Actually. I'm actually an anarchist. We need to destroy the state. The state must be destroyed. But you must hit my little bottom. We need to recreate the system such that daddies have a job. We need a police precinct that just spanks you. He says, we know when we are doing or have done wrong and seek to be punished for the wrongs we've done.

What is this, Dr. Seuss? And some people are actually turned on by it. Women often equate it to being punished by their daddies and men by their mothers. I don't like the capitalization of daddies there. I also don't like quote turned on. I don't know why that's quoted. Anyway, that's enough of Alfred Newman, I think. It's funny to be like, what is this guy, Dr. Seuss?

And then I bet if you scroll, if Dr. Seuss were alive right now, he would be in this. Yeah, he would for sure. And he'd also be doing Race War. I'm doing self-spank. This would be his favorite podcast episode of all time. Anything else in Spankaholics? We don't want to click any of these pictures, right?

These are just... It's pretty risky. Do you want to click one? All right, fine. This is the pinned post. This is from Robin Wright, who says, Hello, I've been the owner of this page for a long time. I started before I even started writing books,

and I can't say enough about the quality and character of all the people who have joined this page and posted content. I wanted to have a place where I can list my books so that people have a chance to read. So this is going to be books, right? No, but he's talking about my books. Oh, this is the cover of a book.

It's Robin White, The Center for Applied Discipline, A Robin W. Spanking Adventure. It's a brush on ass cheeks. Yeah, and the butt is quite spanked. I don't like the use of tools in the spanking. That's what separates us from animals, Alex. What's crazy is I have a brush exactly like that in my backpack right now.

Really? And I'm kind of thinking, like, maybe we just call the rest of this pot off and see if we're... You'd be like Robin W. Spanking, which is a terrible name. It's very wordy. I'm thinking maybe we go our own way here a little bit. You know, spanking? I don't want to go my own way on camera. I don't like that.

Please don't make me go my own way right now. Okay, her other book is called Family Vacation at Hot Bottoms. Okay. First of all, all these pictures, I'm looking at them and I'm thinking, ouch. A long weekend at the beach. The Wilson's new babysitter. Okay. You know her ass is going to be spanked.

Summer camp at Magnolia Lake. We can look at the babysitter. So is the babysitter doing more spankings or she's getting spanked for being a bad babysitter? Because if that's the case, you should get a new babysitter. I got to. Yeah. It's like, hey. Somebody's got to watch these kids.

We're paying me a lot of money here. I can't just keep spanking. The spank master is too distracted. This book is called The Spanking Service, which is, I mean, sure. Do you think it's like the Secret Service? But they spanked the president. Team Mom. What do you think that is?

That's a spanking on record. Team Mom. Maybe she's an Olympian. It's just her in a baseball jersey. What? She's wearing a brave... She's wearing some sort of AI jersey. Team Mom.

Or no, maybe not AI. It's just that she's enlarged the boob quite a bit. Oh, is that what it is? It looks AI. That's funny. A Robin W. spanking adventure. Wait, but they changed their name to Robin Wright here. I think her name is Robin Wright,

but then she sometimes goes by Robin W. spanking. robin w spanking way better pen name maybe you know what it is maybe it's a robin wright spanking adventure no no no no oh oh is that what it is i thought her pen name was robin w spanking i was like that's a fucking master class of a name that's like how system of a down wanted to be near slayer on the cd rack so they picked an s name and she's like when they're in the spanking section at the bookstore who are they going to pick up first oh that's a red ass i don't think we can put this one on youtube no i don't think we're kind of we've lost the plot part out no we're keeping it all in but anyway a painful lesson of respect from miss robin is a

great name for a book i just feel like we're off of the race war at this juncture no because these are your people you need to know who your soldiers are this is a white woman who her her whole existence is spanking based i'm owning them as a white person but as all asian people i am weirded out let's go our own way to the next question yes fine also let's see how much we've recorded it's probably only been a few minutes feels like forever it's been a full hour well we gotta do at least one more okay pick your favorite one jeremy okay oh there's so many good ones do most east asian girls have white fever and i'm gonna want your regent voice for this too um my regent voice now claire is not answered so this is entirely on me so maybe we

just text her this question specifically. It's worth saying Claire's husband is white. Is the Philippines part of East Asia? Yes. Southeast. Southeast. But that whole space we were in about how they're East Asian and not Hispanic.

That's true. Okay. I did read around before I sent it in. Okay. Do most East Asian girls have white fever? I would say it depends. And then I'm the regent. Guess what the top comment here says. Yeah, that's literally – I thought you were just reading it.

Well, who's to say what I was doing? But the point is I would say it depends. Okay, so anecdotally, I'm even trying to think if I believe this. The most Eastern girls – I feel like, okay, you know, as a resident Blackman today, that's my pen name, resident Blackman. Resident Blackman. That's how you can find him in the Black Isle. I would argue the thing I see a lot of is like especially when –

I just saw a video about this. It's like when black people like go to Asian, predominantly Asian countries, uh, there's a lot of, I'm going to say fetishization of black people or whatever, but just in general, a lot of like inquire,

just like, wow, this is crazy. Like you look like this, this is so different than this or like, but the video I'm thinking of particularly, um, there was like a Asian lady,

this first thing over like a young black dude. And she's, she's like, This is from I Show Speed's channel. I feel like... Shut up. Shut the fuck up. I feel like...

God, she said something so funny, but it was like, she's like, you like chicken? I'm spicy chicken or something. Something that was vaguely racist, but kind of like, in a moment, flirty or whatever.

So you're saying, in fact, that most East Asian girls, in fact, have black fever. I'm going to speak for East Asian women here and say you love some chocolate. Interesting. Interesting. It's interesting how we're all speaking

for East Asian women. now i do know there's a stereotype i was going to say of jewish men dating asian women yeah that's a big thing i don't know if it goes both ways i know jewish men who really like asian women yeah here and i have to chime in on this as regent the stereotypes are often every race going for asian women and then asian men being really pissed about it yeah that is definitely some things i've come across on the internet i don't think that every race though right i mean well there's like there's a lot of like there's uh i i have heard of like stereotypes of black people with asian women and jewish guys with yeah those are the two we both said um i'm trying to think are there any oh

there's no third is there there is no third it's just those two i think you could do uh if you work in tech that counts as being jewish i think yeah sure you can get with asian culturally i think if you're like italian there's no like oh italian guys love asian women well but in this race war italians are white so yes right and jews are white so they kind of just get hooked on to that latinos out in the mists here i think losing all the asian women yeah so sorry to latinos you've lost that aspect of the race war but not you've lost that battle but not the you've lost the race battle we should have had like six mics on for this a hundred percent just it should have been impossible to listen six different guys named mike all from different parts of the world yeah

You could, in post, just have all the questions we've gone through, ask someone from a different race that it applies to, and then just put that in. Yeah, I'm going to get a video essay from Jake Flores that follows the episode with all his preferences. This is the first time we've ever had the phone hooked up to the computer. We could call anyone we want. If we have someone we think would be a good person to tag in from another race.

And what, we're just going to ask them if they want Asian girls? Can we call them? I would like to read one answer on this question. Okay. This is from Sal Sub. Whoa. He says, depends. Some prefer their own people, some don't.

There are many hot, cute East and Southeast Asian dudes out there. I have an Asian fever than a white. Than a white. Oh, that's what I was going to say. Yeah, I feel like I see a lot of maybe like Indian or I guess that, are we counting that? That is Asian, yeah. Okay, never mind. The thing is Asia is the biggest continent, so it gets all the flavors.

anyway this guy says as for me east slash southeast asian is greater than white slash black slash caucasian now i don't know what that means i think what this person is saying is that your average person who lives in asia is actually still like has a colorism and would prefer to be with their own race or whatever why is white slash caucasian a thing what is that going for and then he says if i had to pick i would choose or she probably i would choose one and two white guys over the three and four Caucasian guys. That's an interesting discussion, isn't it? And now they've listed young Leo as one of the white guys.

Who is my team? Young Leo one, young Leo two. I don't know who this is. This is a new celebrity I do not recognize. I don't know who this guy is as number two. And then number three. Who are these people? I don't know who any of these people are.

That's a child. This is crazy. These are just other people. To go Leo up top and then just people who aren't real people. no i think those are both new celebrities i don't think these are new celebrities and they're just celebrities we don't know but i think that this is um i think these are uh uh that's titanic leo yeah i know i think that they're classifying blonde people as white and they're and then dark hair white people as caucasian that's interesting this is what they're saying as

as caucasian okay and if we let uh hair color split us white people it's over for us we're going to be swarmed and destroyed. I could see that becoming a turning point. And this is, of course, from beauty- around.com. One of my favorite websites. It says the ones listed below are first choice and then it looks like a bunch of Asian celebrities. I don't know any

of them, but they're cool guys. Is that the guy from Squid Game? They make me so hot and wet down there. I'm going to say this isn't a good section to guess on who we think the people are. Who do you think the people are? I think we just let that go. Fair enough. We just go, we don't know. I'm trying to think of one K-pop

guy and i can't do it well you are our east asian today this is a good episode i'm not the stepdad i'm the dad who stepped up it's great i i'm never gonna get a normal job again in my life that's not what you want you're not a normal guy you want a job that sees you for who you are and so if you're jeremy's employer While you're listening in, I guess the race war continues on. Do we want to do a listener question or no? Yes, we do. All right.

Do a listener question. It's my podcast. Hit the button. Congratulations for coming in on the race wars episode. It's really fun. I really appreciate it. I like that your listeners truly send in stuff. I feel like sometimes it's hard to get people to send stuff in.

Well, I haven't listened to this. Is that okay? This is our segment, Is That Okay? please send us questions at coordinators at gmail.com I've not listened

to this at all I have no idea what it is there's two questions here do you want mad cow or Brian Rogan

do mad cow hi coordinators so I can't donate blood because I lived in England in the 90s do you think

in a few years when we're all fed to the matrix machine the machine is going to be worried about dormant mad cow

disease thanks good question kind of a race war question oh yeah so the war against machines

yeah the sequel of this race war is that it's actually us fighting the machines. They're the ultimate race. They're our end game. After we're all done going our own way

with each other. There was an article that came out recently that apparently AI music is becoming such a big problem on Spotify that it is now mostly being listened to

by AI listeners. That's fascinating. It kind of reminded me of people say like, tell me white people don't have a culture, but like for robots. Yeah.

Robots actually love robot music. Speak on robot culture. Holy shit. We're fully fucked. That's actually a little bit scary what are ai listeners i don't know it's just basically all bots that are bots are listening to bot music and spotify is just raking in cash see it just seems like as an

economy this is an exploitable problem anyway to go back to the question it is being exploited could we give spotify the man machine mad cow um the way that a robot's mind functions is based on Zeros and ones in the crucial binary. Whereas podcasts are ones and twos. Yeah. The broadcast comes with the ones and twos. That comes with the meat of the brain. And so this is to say that I don't think this virus is transmissible to robots.

Does anybody disagree? I think you're right. I think the robots will easily defeat us. It's like giving COVID to like actually a lot of animals could get COVID. Like a battery. Yeah. Like a battery. Is that fair to say?

It's like giving COVID to a battery. Can't do it. At the end of the day. And that's how I like to log off all of the episodes, by the way. Like giving COVID to a battery. This has been Race War with special guest Ben Kastner. Thank you so much for coming in, Ben. What do you have to plug for our lovely audience?

We'll talk about this. Can I ask one question? Yeah. So who won? Who won the race war? Yeah. I think we've all lost. i think it set us up to do a few more of these i do think we're gonna have to do another race

where we didn't even do like half the questions race war two revenge of the races all we can say is filipinos came out on top early and then whites took a lot of blows we lost yeah we lost blondes at one point and we traded chet hanks you're gonna regret that he's got a lot of for Some sicko for Tommy Ross. Yeah, okay, I can plug a special. I have a special coming out August 11th. It's called Supple Harlot, okay? It's going to be out on YouTube for free to check it out.

Here's what I'm asking everyone. Please follow me on YouTube. Subscribe to my YouTube. It's at Shaq Katzner on YouTube, Instagram, everything. Link in the description. Shaq like Shaquille O'Neal. Just like the basketball player, absolutely. Katzner, K-A-T-Z-N-E-R.

I'm in there, baby. and if you like me on this which I'm on there's going to be races that won't I'll tell you that right now you should check out my podcast

it's called Trollhole okay and we have comedians entertainers people in the public eye on we talk about weird shit that people have said to them

online and in real life it's very fun and if you're ever we'd love to have you both on if you're ever I'd love to come to the Trollhole please no one's ever said anything

mean to me online I don't even know what I'm talking about when I was a teenager actually I had a lot of sleep overs in the troll hole oh yeah step to the spit pit baby so i have a lot of experience there wow um if you would like more of our show we have bonus episodes every thursday where we go on websites that are not quora we go on ebay we go on linkedin we go on reddit.com a lot so go check

that out we are it's gonna be craigslist we are a more successful and popular podcast on our patreon feed that's patreon.com slash we are entirely funded by listeners like you i'm just saying reddit podcasts are way more popular than oh sure so we're a more popular podcast okay does everyone hey it made sense as always thank you for creating us yakub i'm turning this off