Quorators - Season of the Witch w/ Bryn Nieboer

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What's the best demon to summon to kill someone? How long do I need to warm up to this demon first? What will I need to make a deal? What should I offer? There's no changing my mind, please don't try. Can someone be a Starseed without having ADHD or autism? Can you get a succubus pregnant? --- Follow Bryn on twitter @ kinematrografi. Listen to her movie podcast Generation Loss and her rock band Stay Inside wherever sounds are sold. Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

I want to hang out with my friend. No more card talk. So it's a format in Flesh and Blood. You're opening a door. It's a bad idea, Claire. It's genuinely a bad idea. Look how scared Jeremy is right now. He's so fucking scared.

And he should be scared because it's October. We can talk about Blood on the Clocktower, which I haven't played yet. No, we can't actually. They're all really good songs, right? That still opens the devil's door, and it is the season of the witch. War Raiders.

And we're back another week with that. What sound do you hear? Let's take that again. You can't cut that. Hey, you hear that? That's the theme song to Quarators, America's premiere Quora podcast with your best friends Alex, Claire, and Jeremy. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Happy to be your best friend. You're my best friend, especially now that it's season five, Advent of Claire. Okay, so for context, Alex made us all wait to start the podcast so he could learn where all the sounds are. I thought you said it was red. I've been doing a really bad job. No, that's a different one. Advent of Claire is green.

It's like the same thing. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the same sound. One is Godzilla. I don't think Godzilla makes a scary soundtrack sound. No way that was Godzilla. Claire's kind of a Godzilla. The other one's Godzilla when it's atomic. All right, go back to Godzilla.

Go back to Godzilla. I will do that, but then I have to introduce our guest. That's not what Godzilla sounds like Oh, there we go Did you hear the atomic breath of man? Yeah, kind of It's like Shin Godzilla or something Do you see his scales rising?

Brynn, I'd love to hear your impression of what Godzilla truly sounds like Oh, I don't know how to do it Do the voice Godzilla sounds a little something like this Do the voice Yeah, yeah What if Godzilla was like at the bank? In hushed tone.

Was he robbing the bank? Sure, yeah. He's sliding a little piece of paper that says, run! He's applying for a loan to get a jet ski. Oh, that's fine. I'm converting a lot of this to bonds. Yeah, okay. I just need to hear your passcode real quick.

Yeah, it's a... This week we have Brittany Boer from the hit band Stay Inside. Hello. You are our all-time guest at this point. This is your third appearance. I'm the king. You're the king. How does that feel?

Pretty good. Feels good to be the king. I like to be a royal. Yeah, I hate royals, but if I'm one, I love it. That's often the situation. Yeah. Because I would love to wear essentially a carpet as a cape. Sure.

That's the whole American trajectory. You can only, all the rulers become evil, right? And you've got to be the king. You got to be the king. We always say the American trajectory at the start of the show. I know you're a listener yourself, so... I'm just playing along. I'm here to play a role.

Brynn, you play too much. But without getting ahead of ourselves here, it is... Well, it's October, isn't it, Jeremy? It sure is. No. Well, this comes out of the October. Oh, I guess technically today is September 30th, but for the purposes of the episode and for all days after this. It's fall time.

It's fucking fall time. Fall time. Yeah. And I wanted to save all of our spookiest quarrels for the Halloween episode, as we do. Last year, we wore the most wonderful costumes. We wore costumes. And mine melted on my face. Yeah, Alex's melted.

He had glasses on and the paint ended up all over his face. Ew. Oh, my costume was like cool guy who wears glasses. That's not true. It was hype beast Dracula. Who happens to be Dracula. You just have that cape. Yeah.

The orange lining. That's a good cape. It's a military cape. Nonetheless, we had so many good spooky ones. We're going to do some of those today. In this week's theme, season of the witch. I was waiting for us. That's great.

I like that on Quora. If you just go to Quora.com, it says questions for you specifically, Alex. Can a gay man be married to a woman? Yeah, Alex, tell us if this is true or not. That's actually not for Alex. That's for Alberto Mysterio. I understand why you would ask that. It says it's for you.

I'm on your computer. Now, we got some great stuff to get through this week. The season of The Witch has to start with an appropriate space. So I was fishing around in our spaces, and I found this wonderful example. This is womansbehavior.quora.com. With a big picture of a brain on the top. Have we not been on this before? A lot of bigger brain than I thought it would be.

I didn't want to say it. It feels smaller. I find it's not big enough. It's actually hollow. so now for the listeners who may not know what the fuck this is what is this page okay so this is so what's a space where is split up into spaces similar to subreddits and these are groups where like-minded individuals come to discuss women's behavior what are some of the more popular spaces no this one only has 40 oh wow it's 22 000 it's 22 000 followers which i think makes it pretty

big for quora yeah quora doesn't have as many people okay that makes sense it's like a small country if you were to ask what the most popular spaces are i've found personally and maybe there's another way to do this there is no way to sort by most popular so it will give you you'll search a word and it will be like do you want to go to a space with six guys in it do you want to go to rahim's space that's just rahim and then five sex bots there's a lot of indian stuff he's loving I think Quora is bigger in India than in the U.S. It must be. Maybe Reddit is banned or something.

Reddit banned. Too real for India. I think controversial chat is a big one. Controversial chat. I think people talk about controversial things in there like, I don't like this Kamala Harris. Yeah. Stuff like that.

Gun space. There's a lot of gun ones with a lot of people. Yeah. Those are very interesting. But I'd like to talk about women today. Okay, women's behavior. Now, this is specifically British women, right? Because it is behavior spelled with an I-O-U-R.

Right. Oh, do you want to press your button? Ink was spotted. This is why women do what they do. I don't often know why women do what they do, but I'd love to learn that. This is mostly moderated or contributed by women, though. Yeah, by women for women.

You know how we do this stuff? Yeah. Stuff? All the stuff we do. I'm always doing stuff. I'm curious about this woman. One of the contributors, Barbara J. Sparkle. She gives short, sweet, blunt, but true answers from experience.

Damn. I think she took her profile picture in one of those, like, glamour shop malls. Yes. Former FBI agent. Wait, what? What? Does it say that? Oh, yeah.

I think she can say that if it wasn't true. I think anyone can say that. I don't think this person is real. All right. The bio is, I tend to give short, sometimes blunt, but true answers. Former FBI agent still connected. So she is still forming the narrative for the intelligence community here on womensbehavior.quora.com. Sparkle is a spook.

Sparkle's a damn spook. She should be called Barbara Spookle. It's up to me. That is insane. Her most recent question Why am I chatting up a very powerful Attractive man online when I've been happily married That's about Trump

You know what This is a classic woman behavior Wait this is probably about That Didn't all those people get Busted for using Ashley Madison Oh yeah Maybe she's one of those

Ladies who was tempting The women FBI temptress That is kind of what the FBI does, right? They're kind of a temptress for would-be terrorists. Yeah, basically. Yeah, they run honey pots. Yeah.

Which everyone loves honey. They can't resist it. They're kind of the local poo bear, if you will. But you got to try not to get your little paws stuck in that pot. Right, Brynn? Oh, yeah. Right. Not today.

I wanted to get that out front. I found some great examples of women's behavior that I put in the doc, Jeremy. Now, you're going to have to click parent question on all of them because it doesn't show it. But if I put the other link, it would say it's not in women's behavior, and then you'd tell me that every time. Here's the question. What is the psychology of women's minds? Oh, much to discuss here. Well, wait, where did it go?

Oh, that's the whole question. Here's the thing. The website is broken. So if we want to look at the women's behavior things, we have to be on this page. But if we want to read the question, unfortunately, we do have to be on this page. These are the answers. I can't believe this. It's so fucked up.

I'm sorry. They made it worse in like the last month. This is actually all my doing. I thought you were just a friend of Alex and Jeremy. I didn't know you were a representative of Quora. Claire actually works for Quora. As many of the listeners to our show have commented, Jeremy and I are the CEOs of Quora,

and Claire is the head designer. So she is our employee. It made sense to me at the time. Okay, well, let's see what answers we have about the psychology of women's minds. I used to know someone who was a web designer for Pornhub, and their whole job was making the website better to be able to use with one hand.

oh i think that no you're uh yeah exactly yeah i think that's the same thing they've been doing on here though because i think you're trying to make it like an app like you use it like on the go but i'm never using easier to jack off to though it's easier to wipe your ass there's no sex going on six one half definitely not anyway the truth teller has an answer here But what was the whole, just the headline was, what is the psychology of women? What is the psychology of women's minds? With my experience, is that an answer there? That's a related question.

No, this is a related question. This is nothing. Yeah, ignore this one. Again, I thought it would be a good idea to check this first. You should X it out. At least you have a chance to X it out. Oh, yeah. Can you just X it out?

What happens if we do that? What you have to do is, you have to go, there's a dropdown here, and you have to write answers. That's what you want. You want to click answers. I can't believe this. How does it work? Okay, so maybe we've been putting the website on the TV so that our guests can read it, but I do worry that it is confusing our guests who are like,

Well, it's a horrible website. It's like, yeah, you have the arc. That you've created. Yeah, well. You should feel bad about it. Feeding a drip of the water of life to all of our unsuspecting guests. Okay, so what does the truth teller say? Here's my most unpopular answer ever.

they don't know what they want period hey i don't have a full 24 hours to explain i've never heard anyone say this this is my friend the truth teller do your research and see what women want chivalry and to be treated like a queen most of the time when any part of life gets hard they always look to a man they want the benefits of traditional roles as a woman but don't want the responsibilities of true equality yeah usually kind of a contradiction here that they don't know what they want but what they do want is chivalry and return to the knight's code what i'm always thinking about is that i wish the people knew how to use swords better i kind of want passers-by to put their cloak on the ground when i come across a puddle

this man has one question ever the truth teller it is why does my wife make me eat cub so it seems like she knows what she wants and that's for him to eat cum good god women want traditional roles so you can't like write anymore what do you mean you can't like like read it where it's like the title is why does my wife wait and then there's like a detail where it's like yesterday yeah no no there's no more you get one question and that's it now we can answer the question unfortunately nobody has answered that question what oh god The answer is because it's Piggy's time to eat. I'm going to write that in.

Yeah, go ahead and send that to the truth teller. And we'll report back when he writes in. Okay, great. Hashtag truth told. Okay, rub the Piggy's nose. Why don't you? He likes it. He has to.

He married her. Wow. That's one example of women's psychology. I found two other questions. Okay, yeah.