Quorators - Should Girls Skateboard? w/ Carmen Lagala

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: What would you do if your wife allows you to do polygamy? When women give birth, why don't they have a natural instinct to clean their babies with their mouths? What is the most evil theorem in mathematics? ---- Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show on http://youtube.com/@quorators Follow Carmen on Instagram @ carmstagrams  

hey it's quaraders for another week we're back we're live on quora i'm your host alex and jeremy and this is jeremy and i'm alex how's it going the cat is like rubbing the knobs on the mixer He's really worked up right now. He's a real firecracker. He's producing the podcast like no one ever has. I need him to develop some goddamn professional accountability. And it's something that I've been waiting for my entire life. But I'll simply have to just move on today.

We have a very special guest. All the way from Ha Ha Town, Brooklyn. She's determined to be mauled by this cat before the episode ends. We have Carmen Legala. Hi. Look at Waffles. Look at him go. I think he's somewhat on camera, maybe.

he'll he'll show up later oh no all you need to know is like me just leaning into nothing just out of sight there's a very dangerous large animal writhing in a circle oh my god the thing i want to touch this belly so badly but i feel like that's the danger zone he has a catnip pepper as we were discussing before those things started and it really gets him acting out wow and that's what we're experiencing now nothing for my cat weird how it you know just like drugs yeah yeah uh your cat's catnip tolerance is through the goddamn roof i think is what's happening also today is 420 it is 420 that's true i didn't plan into that at all with the playlist that's fine it's not gonna come out it's not gonna be 420 when we do it and this is

this is how the sausage gets made people carmen almost loses a hand again okay so carmen you You don't really know much about Quora, do you? Not a ton. I just have Googled questions before, and sometimes Quora's like, we got something for you. There's your first mistake. And they never do. Yeah.

There's your first mistake. They know about marital issues. They know about raising children. There's specific sex. Is that what you're Googling? How to raise children? How do I raise these kids? I know how to raise my kids.

I feel like that should be Facebook's tagline, is i know how to raise my kids my capitalized that's i think the sentence i see the most on there um the spelling errors are incredible beautiful they're really something so i'm excited to show you quora because it's it's kind of hard to describe but it really is uh facebook reddit i think is the best you can come to to doing it uh sure reddit for facebookers Yeah, it's like Facebook, but you can win gold. Oh, they have a little point system. Can you?

I think there's Quora gold. I'm pretty sure. Yo, click on it. What do you want me to click? Yo, click on Quora real quick. I don't think there is Quora gold. This is a Quora specialist podcast, and you're like, is there? I don't think there is.

I don't think so either. We have stated on the record we learn less about the web. We know less about it every week than we did the week before. That's true. Like, I kind of thought I got it when we started, but. I can send you a list of bridesmaids that absolutely stole the show, but I cannot give you Quora gold. Okay, so if those aren't, like, famous people,

won't that just be like, Kelsey! Danielle! I'm sure that's what it is. That's why I didn't invite Danielle. She's always stealing the show. You are giving me so many viruses right now. Get out of here. So at the end of the show, Carmen, we write a Quora,

and then we see what the world says to us. What people told us. people answer that quickly people absolutely do and we got some really good ones this makes me i'm after i go home i'm gonna write in a quora oh yeah please you're gonna write in a quora before you go home because that's how the podcast is is it anonymous not ours no it's under my name with a picture of me i didn't put where i live and my uh uh profession on there although a lot of people do we did put brooklyn park slope yeah one week we asked that's so embarrassing telling question about where i live but that's fine people have caught on like people think you're a troll

and i well i mean i am i mean we're doing a podcast yeah i don't genuinely want to know any of these questions i kind of do okay including last week's question jeremy is it illegal to cheat on your spouse i'm afraid of going to jail now the answer obviously is no it is not it is as a lawyer no we got five answers i don't think any of them say no i am afraid of going to jail well what we were thinking is that we would type this and then people would yell at us for cheating and i i wonder if that happened no so what's very funny this answer is so funny to me the question was is it illegal to shoot on your spouse i'm afraid of going to jail and this one guy joseph nightshade says there are some laws that may apply in certain circumstances for example sleeping with a minor

consensual or not rape spree mental illness etc you really should be afraid i don't i don't none of those have come up in my life you're like i cheated on my wife am i gonna is that a problem and this guy was like if you had sex with a child if you murdered someone this is the fun thing about quora 2 is under his little profile name it goes former canadian army so you know exactly where he's coming from with this yep from his deployment he had to dodge statutory rape charges uh okay so yeah that's that guy's deal um what a what a good last name yeah i kind of want a real one profile yeah it's good in the way where it doesn't have to be real yeah per se he pretty much only answers questions about uh

relationship problems it seems okay you can see all their oh yeah you can click on their profile and just see their answers and we can see like way too much like this guy he's a former combat engineer he studied uh he's got a bachelor of arts and um from the university of maryland He lives in Canada. That's a great university. Like, we know too much about this guy. He was the military's relationship expert. Now he's taking that knowledge online.

Yeah. Yeah. He's deploying it for the people. Like the National Guard. He's like Bob Ross, where, like, he's just sick of yelling, and he just wants to get to his softer side. What you need to know is that if they are underage, you cannot sleep with them.

That is, in fact, a crime. He didn't mention animals, though, notably. That's true. Wow. loophole can i cheat on my spouse with an animal he shared his life with a dog you can suck off a dog is it cheating if it's an animal that's a good question for today it's a different question right and it's good still yeah uh okay i kind of think no it's not i kind of think no i don't know it's bad but for a different reason okay this is an interesting okay oh wait this is a scramble

things, I believe. What if you're, like, really close to the animal? I'm not done. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, who's close? For the podcast. I'm cheating on my wife, and my wife is close to the animal, or I'm close to the animal. You're both, like, it's your household pet. It's like a good friend.

A lot of the times with open relationships. Let's go with sheep. Okay. Yeah, consider a banshees of initiating situation. So, the spouse is kind of betrayed by both of them. They're like, how could both of you have done this to me? The sheep and the man. Not in front of my sheep.

In an open relationship, a lot of times the rule is if you both are mutual friends, then it doesn't work. So I guess if only one of you is friends with your pet, then yeah, go ahead. It's not a betrayal in that case. And it also still isn't illegal. So legally, you're good. Oh, good. Yeah. What?

Well, you definitely can't have sex with a sheep. Oh, never mind. I don't think you can. I think there's bestiality laws. I guess I've just literally never thought about it. but yeah no there is there totally is i'm sorry um it's just got to be hard to get caught alex you're so somber now all of a sudden well i'm trying to read the question sorry uh there's an answer here that says no it's not illegal to the point you go to jail but you will lose your

arse in a contested divorce shit it gets nasty sensitive things can come out in the fight oh no so this is kind of a divorce warning there um this guy says yes most of these words are capitalized he says yes but most of those laws of actually looking you up are not enforced until you get a divorce or breakup then the society slash of government will dollar sign dollar sign dollar sign punish the fuck out of you and divorce slash separation this doesn't mean it's illegal though no but it does mean that getting a divorce is very then he says it might as well be the woman may have you beat up or murdered or you might have to beat someone up or murder them protecting yourself so it's not worth it the law is such a delicate tapestry that's so true in terms of when

you have to murder this is so much like facebook and that people really just go off on whatever they want to talk about their own things they correct question uh this guy says cheating on your spouse uh though not though is not illegal it is however in the ten commandments thou shall not commit adultery so under god's law it is illegal under god's law yeah i love this every single answer is its own distinct person its own text if you put all these people in a room together that'd be a good reality show huh this guy's bio the guy who said that his bio on quora says part-time asshole part-time asshole full-time humanitarian did he just not know he wrote that twice the last question that he answered 17 hours ago my wife cheated on me with our dog what should

i do yeah he said but what about the cat yeah he's just clowning on this guy who's been cuckolded by a dog that's your first response from the godly answer guy what percentage of these questions are just 10 year olds who are having the time of their lives it's all 30 30 to 5 yeah it's just us and the 10-year-olds. There's a few real people on there and a lot of them live in India, I think. Okay. Real quick. We're on the dog question still. This is very important.

Someone said, assuming your claim is true, try talking to your wife and then gives a very long answer about how you should try to work this out. And the person's name is Foxy Dog Lover. It's clearly like the wife. Yeah. That is actually

who would have the most experience in answering the dog cuckolding she may be genuinely attracted to dogs and that's okay he's a good dog and knows nothing about human marriage first of all don't be mad at the dog it is not the dog's fault he's a good boy he just did what what he wanted um i'm trying to see if there's any other uh not really now that's it for that one good i'm done with it all right well that's that question thanks for answering it thank you for answering it and if you must answer our questions be sure to use the word scrambled eggs scrambled eggs means you are not genuinely on the website and are in fact a podcast listener yeah that's an important detail okay uh i got a whole playlist of issues that

pertain to you and your expertise so we're gonna get right into those with our first segment and that is of course Cora MD yeah we're all doctors here welcome to quora md the segment where we answer medical questions on quora and we want to know about stuff at the hospital and when you're sick and stuff cool you like that this is a really good one this is from listener michael hutz i think i'm unclear with when you want me to read your name by the way because some people don't include it and then get mad when I read the name on their email,

so there's no winning. I think I'm just going to stop saying them. Yeah, this one was sent in by Michael Hutz. If you work with him, this is what he wants to know. This is his legal name. When women give birth, why don't they have a natural instinct to clean their babies with their mouths?

It's a question we've all asked. First of all, I don't know if they do or do not. As I have never given birth. Sure. um kind of a good question i've seen cats do it yeah yeah no it makes sense they go right at it they're like they stop whatever they're doing between squeezing out cat three and four and then just like go to town mouth they go to mouth town a lot of them just like eat them they just go a little bit further sure yeah yeah yeah sure why not you have like six of them they're sick

fucks they're in the animal kingdom that's true um i don't know why though why the question is why why don't they have a natural instinct to clean their babies with their mouths yeah yeah yeah i so i guess if i had to guess i'd say like the animals who clean babies who clean themselves with their mouths do that and that we don't do that and that's literally impossible to clean yourself with your mouth now maybe people did in the past though yeah i'm like genuinely sure maybe why not i could totally clean a whole baby with my mouth i just can't clean myself because it can't it's not like is there anything on the baby that you can't ingest probably not i mean it was already in there yeah it's kind of like going down sure yourself yeah it's pretty

much going down on baby yeah yeah which yeah problematic as we've illegal illegal and that's why it's wrong not to mention it's in the ten commandments it's like the true like paleo diet like what that's nothing there's nothing more natural than eating that yeah whatever's on your baby i just wish you would die of entirely placenta and amniotic sac fluid since my muscle my muscles have increased their size by 15 if you clean a baby with your tongue though is it really clean because then it's just got saliva all over it yeah our mouths are dirtier than dog's mouth that's true this is all coming full circle and the dog's a good boy so you can fuck him but you can't be mad at him the thing is i think it's closer a closer analogy than going down

on the baby is the drinking your own piss i think because it was already in you and even if you're like not supposed to eat again technically you could and it would be you would probably wouldn't die how long could you survive on like just eating that's a great so you give birth every day in the desert you're in a bad situation aliens or some kind of advanced technology is involved impregnating you to uh fulfillment every single day you're in the desert you have jars of hot amniotic fluid of course they're hot they're in the desert yeah unless due to the high variety of climate you have them in the morning because the desert gets very cold at night that's true it's yeah one of the most uh wildly changing biomes on the planet the desert we should do

more more environment questions yeah why not yeah write that down i know you don't know where any of this shit is on my computer okay so let's read the question okay um a lot of answers uh there's everyone disagrees on this one person says they do hot topic so he says why why don't women have a natural instinct to clean their babies with their mouths they do they do they want to pop them right in there what of a woman licking her baby that's a that's pretty good evidence i don't even know if we can put this on youtube there's no boob you don't see the front of a boob you just see a woman licking a baby a lot of a boob you just don't see a nipple that's allowed you're allowed to do that all right well um that's from

badass mother birther oh okay well i can't think of a better source for that she says mammals are known to lick and clean their young immediately upon birth. This is done for a few reasons. To remove the scent of birth to ward off predators. To consume all the nutrients of the afterbirth. To begin socializing of the newborn. To ingest

any bacteria that can signal mommy's breast milk to pass on antibodies to baby through her breast milk. Scientifically, I have no qualms about this. To bond with baby. To stimulate the baby to transition to life on medical food. i always am worried like that 50 of quora answers are a fetish and what are you talking about this

is just a naked woman licking a baby there's nothing fetish adjacent about it i feel ashamed as someone who's from vermont that i didn't know this this is so sure to be like yes we have the birth in the woods and then we wrap it in sticks and leaves and then we eat the placenta you can actually eat the whole baby if you want if you're in silicon valley you can bottle that shit up and sell it oh baby placenta baby market a cold glass of placenta yeah yeah it's so good it's better than when it's hot meet the ceos drinking placenta water um one person says babies don't need cleaning so and then shows like a blue man group style baby baby covered in chalk looking powder It is a very nasty-looking baby.

It's gross they come out like that. Like, wear a suit. Act like you've been there before. There being life. Act like you've been alive. Most people just say, like, because they have water now. We can just clean them. Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty good reason.

You really get the whole baby if you plunk it in there. They don't even let you, like, hold on to the baby that quickly, right? They're, like, they're grabbing that baby. At the hospitals, yeah. But, see, the thing is, modern science has forgotten our roots. jeremy and so they don't know to bond with baby but like you lick the baby they don't know to clean its biome with your tongue and ingest its healthy it's healthy nutrients um and then some people are mad like this one this is clean them with their mouths that's a good point honestly

that's probably the first thing i thought that's the whole answer yeah pretty much yeah it's pretty The rest is like, don't use a mouth. I'd be the one in the room just getting caught licking. I would be like with it and like no nurses around. And then I'd be like, the second a nurse would walk in and be like, what are you doing? I'd be like, licking the baby. I saw it on Quora. It's definitely happened at a hospital already.

Yeah. I can't prove it. Just make sure it's your baby. Don't lick someone else's baby. Okay. What's this one? Okay. This guy says, for the exact same reason, dot, dot, dot, and then has a list of other things.

One. You don't smell your poop once you're done with your shit. You don't clean your genitals with tongue using saliva as soap. Because I can't. I certainly can't. We've all tried. You don't smell the ass of your partner before having sex. I'm sure that's happened before.

I think that's just because it's something dogs do. Wait, is he saying these are things that people don't do? Yeah. These are all things people do so far. some people do these things uh you don't go around and mark your territory by lifting your one leg up and spraying pheromone all over the poles yeah this is a very dog coded question really coming at the dog community who has done nothing wrong and is in fact a good boy his tongue is way cleaner than yours that's true okay well i simply don't want to hear

any more about this actually now and I'm disgusted and I regret bringing it up. Waffles has settled into the Pelican case. You don't smell your own poop after.

What are you talking about? I mean, you kind of have to smell your poop because it's like in the air and stuff. You have to. You don't have a choice.

Of course you do. Make sure it's healthy. You have no choice. Oh, this is a new space I found. Oh, okay. Or one of us found. Is this Space of the Week?

Are we doing Space of the Week or are we just going to do the... This is part of the same thing but it is kind of Space of the Week. Oh, we need a Space of the Week song. Space of the week.

Space of the week. That is... Hey, it's the Twilight Zone and the space of the week. This is Quora's famous space, Ask a Blind Guy. And I guess that's a place where you can ask questions to a blind guy. Honestly, like, of the communities we've discovered, probably one of the ones I more would use. Yeah, if you ever had a question for a blind guy,

specifically this one, and there's a photo of him. More than the one that's just all people addicted to crack, bragging. Yeah. more than the gun one, I would ask a blind guy. Cool. So this person asked a blind guy, if a person is actually blind,

like they can't see anything at all, can he go to the doctor and ask to be put to sleep permanently? So basically he's just asking, can I be killed? I would say, I mean, you can do whatever you want. No one's stopping you from asking a doctor.

Hey, that's all you, hoss. Are you allowed to ask the doctor to kill you if you're blind? Yeah, you are. He'll say no. He'll say no, because legally, I think in Canada, they were just talking about passing a law where you can kill old people, but I don't think you could do that here. They're so ahead of us in Canada.

There's countries where you can, yeah. They're so progressive there. Honestly, sometimes I'm just like done being alive when I'm that old, and so like, yeah, it freaking takes me out already, but. We've talked about this, how my grandma yearns for death. Yes, we've talked about your grandma and how she craves the grave. Every time I see her, she's like, I'm just, it's so annoying. Not this again.

For real. I feel like I would get along with her really well. She's actually huge with Gen Z. Which we all are. Yes, sheesh. So if a person is actually blind, can he go to the doctor and ask to be put to sleep? A blind person says. Yeah, well, first of all, I assume most blind people do not want to die.

Sure. This person says, my husband became blind at the age of 12. okay so we don't care about you diane because this is not ask a wife of a blind person this is ask a blind guy did you use your two eyes to type this then no i don't want to hear from you it's not the spaces he just she posted a bunch of photos of him basically it was like he's had a great life and he's like here's a picture of him with a dog she honestly could have picked better ones he has been to paris okay the last one he looks like he's happy the other ones he's just like don't this is uh the blind this is diane's husband yeah he's in paris available

on the youtube that's a good dude i don't know why you didn't show me the baby looking picture oh yeah i mean i could bring it back if you want it'll be on the youtube i'll find it later we can't turn these around every time um yeah so he's i mean not all of the blind people are having as much fun as him though he's really petting a dog in some of these he has like a like a why is every question dog theme today uh anyway yeah he's i was just i was laughing that he has like a old like phone that you'd put in like a house like attached to his shirt as a cell phone i think it's just an old picture oh maybe i think it's the phone is big because it is in the past i don't believe it okay uh are there any other answers he was the head dispatcher

at 911 huh and his the back of his t-shirt says my work number is 911 thank you for including your husband's funny t-shirt in this post now that we know we can't kill him no idea i buy him all kinds of funny shit he doesn't know about it um we got more pictures of blind guys they do very uh candid pictures they really are the most natural in any photo um most of these are just people being like i know a blind person who doesn't want to die yeah stop bragging a blind person who doesn't want to die and again the space is none of them want to die the space is ask a blind guy are none of you actually blind i haven't found any actual answers from blind people as far as this space is washed i mean there's a lot of steps to get there to be like hey do you want to

You'll be the Ask a Blind Guy on Quora. I'll type it in for you. That's true. I can certify you to maud. Would you also like to go to sleep forever? I like how this guy, he doesn't even say die. He's just like, take a forever nap. Okay.

Yeah, put to sleep permanently. Well, that's the kind way of saying it. I guess. Okay. I want to look at some other. Any other good questions? Forever nap, very different from death, I think. Do the six cents one.

I want to know if blind people have a six cents. Do blind people have a six cents? All right. Someone says, oh, most blind people have more than six senses, but so do most sighted people because humans don't just have five senses. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Jeffrey Wright, famous actor.

Prove it. Oh, God. Prove it, Jeffrey. Oh, wait. Jeffrey Wright? He's a famous actor. Yeah. I mean, this person probably just has the same name as him.

I don't know. He's got a lot of Quora points. He's pretty big on Quora. I think it could be the guy. I want to get big on Quora. New goal. Another person asked, do blind people really have a sixth sense? This seems to be the one question people have with blind people.

It's the one that you don't ask blind people directly to your face. It's like, are you daredevil? What are some fun things for a blind person and their seeing-eye dog to do together? What? Why are dogs all over this episode? I do not understand. I didn't pick anything with a dog in it. It's allowed.

I'm trying to see what else. More dog questions. If Homer was blind, how did he manage to write two epics? Okay. this is epic. It's a little bit of an Odyssey joke. Okay, enough of that. Yeah, okay, who cares?

All right, yeah, in response, who cares? And we're done with that. And up next, we actually, we haven't done this segment in a while because it's a bit divisive. And as we've said on the show before, we are not a political show, but this is the quiz course.

Yeah, these are our politics questions. um these are very political they divide the electorate they pertain to politics but they also choose the hegemon uh let's get into the first one it's okay kind of what we're all talking about today yeah this is a big issue i think it's going to affect the 2024 election very much is it okay for a guy to get his belly button pierced i don't know you can ask but the doctor will say no so i think you have to be gay not bi fully gay yeah that's like the kind of thing where gay guys can like do uh stolen valor to you if you have a belly button piercing and they can like uh dress you down in the streets right they show you a nude woman and if you're attracted to

it yeah they rip it out of your belly button show me your phone show me the song saved to your iPhone. This is your character, gay guy. Yeah, gay and so in valor guy. I'd like to see three boyfriends you've had recently. What was your last deployment at a club?

I would say that you can't and it's illegal. I think that's probably true. I don't want a piercing in my belly button. No one is making you. You have to, you can't wear anything, any cloth over it for a full year. What? That's fucking brutal.

How do you do that? I don't know. My friend got one, and then I was like, that's a lie. So I looked it up on the internet. I was like, yeah, one full calendar year. Then you just have to have your butt now full 24 the whole year? This is very problematic, but I think straight people are too fat to do that. And that is why there are no straight men with their belly buttons pierced.

Next question. This isn't part of our medical segment, Alex. This is just a political belief I have. is that straight people fat as hell i think full dangly one of the just a long chandelier it's got a moon on the end a dream catcher i am interested to see what the internet thinks um people are just are talking about how sad it is that men think that they shouldn't be allowed to get sad pierced yeah a lot of like piercing shops have quora accounts and they're like i love doing these and no one lets me yeah that's from siren body jewelry who said that they

We say, thumbs up. We're huge fans of the man navel piercing. What a capitalist answer. I see trying to make another buck, siren body jewelry. Real funny. Yeah, under communism, only girls will get. It's an unfortunate rule, but we need it for the system to work. Paige Warren says, our society has gendered everything we do, which is unfortunate.

it navel piercings have been coded female which is ridiculous there's nothing inherently female about navel rings and fighting this is brave and empowering there will be people who will judge particularly cisgender hetero men if that's alex if you're willing to see them they're too fat if you're willing to fight this go for it you'll be called gay and other sexist bullshit from women too i think men with navel rings are attractive uh i have i think having strength in your convictions is powerful and admirable if you can rock the piercing okay so you can't have like you said you can't have a shirt over it for a year yeah and i feel like stuff would snag on it i know it's not gendered to get like the lip piercings i think those are foul yeah the most

attractive man on the planet if you have like something in your mouth pierced i want you away from me forever it's bad enough that we have to keep sharp teeth in our mouths i don't need additional obstacles on top of that um yeah in general i think navel piercings you had to go for the stud you want safety first stud you want to be the stud with that still i mean think about the number of times i don't know about you guys but i get caught on doorknobs leaving the house twice a day yes yes yes with your earring or in general in general usually like a sleeve or like a yeah a bag strap you really do seem like someone who gets caught on a lot of doorknobs No one's ever said that to me before.

I do seem like someone who gets caught on a lot of doorknobs. Oh, here's a guy. Yeah, this is a guy who has a belly button ring. I got to save this picture. This is going to be impossible to find again. He's got a big marijuana leaf tattoo around his belly button as well. Okay. Just screenshot it.

Hold off the show. Oh, I'm screenshotting on another person's lap, which feels insane. Oh, no. I'm getting the shot. See, this guy is in great shape, and I still think his piercing looks unfortunate. It looks like he has a wound in his belly. Here, let me pass it around. I suppose Carmen can see this one.

He has a tattoo of a pineapple for our audio listeners. Is that what it is, pineapple? I thought it was a weed thing. Unclear. it seems to be the phases of the moon as well okay it just is in the shape of a pineapple because it's a weed leaf behind is there an owl in there a weed leaf behind talismanic symbols and in the middle there is a piercing some sort of egg but not quite an egg it's a whole tapestry i can't tell what's going on but it all fits together if it was just the piercing

honestly i would like it less than if it had some sort of confusing tattoo that looks like a 10 cover-ups on top of each other i don't like that he's trying to convince me to spend so much time down there you know what i mean i think we can all agree it's 45 minutes it seems like his plan is like how do i get their head halfway it's a very big piercing that's what it is it's like fucking it's like a foot tall it's really big uh but anyway he's in great shape and it still looks like he's responding to the person we wrote also he's just to be clear he's doing like a he's like a goofy looking guy with like a goatee but he's doing like a justin bieber style like holding his shirt up and looking to the camera with like squinted eyes but he says

hopeful sounds cool to hear someone believe that men piercing their belly button is attractive stop trying to date siren body jewelry on they're not gonna date you they're trying to sell body jewelry yeah so he's bragging about it wow well if republicans can't pivot on this i don't know how they're gonna do let's go to the next one i forgot that we're in the um the quiz court i didn't know where to put it well this one is almost medical let's leave the belly button piercing uh aside and go into a more political segment please which ear does a straight guy get pierced just answer the question no log stories see that is the addendum is why i included this because the whole website is

long stories. Once upon a time, I had The first answer is like 400 words. Is it really? Yeah, no one could do it. Not one person answered. A few people said a short one. One guy said whichever year he wants to.

Wait, wait, wait. Go to the top. I thought it was like, I thought there was, I don't know, back in the day. There's gay and gays. We've talked about this many times. It comes up every week for some reason. Just like having sex with dogs. Which ear is the gang-affiliated ear? Right.

If you have an earring on your left ear, you have sex with dogs. If you have it on your right ear, you have sex with cats. I hate that rule. I just want to read the first two sentences of this answer. Let's read the whole thing. So the question, which ear does a straight guy get pierced? Just a question, no long stories. The first answer is the one that's less gay.

When I was 14, I was riding my push bike in Greece with my cousins. We were riding down steep hills and getting some real speed and were shot down from the convenience store towards his house. One particular time I was going really fast and noticed a tractor coming around the bend heading towards me up the road. Now in Greece on the islands, the roads are very skinny and usually only allow one car at a time

or two motorbikes easily. A tractor takes up heaps of space on these tiny roads. Generally, I would pull over for a tractor, but today I wanted to defy death. It's saying that this is the answer to no long stories. well he's having a laugh but i do want to see how this ends i sped up my trajectory was off i landed in a ditch and hit my head i passed out for 16 hours whoa when i woke i was in new clothes in a stranger's house and nursing a huge headache moral of the story is don't tell the internet not

to give you long stories oh there you go goodness i walked right into that long enough he says also if you're concerned which ears that you're straight guys pierce it's the left one it's the left ear is then your straight is left straight is left gay and also you're in a gang that means as well you're like a member of the bloods part of the gay gang that beats a bisexual people who have uh naval rings no that's the right ear were you not reading the post oh okay straight gang left ear gay gang right ear okay you're in a gang if you have an earring though why are you bedazzling your head like that you must be in a gang you're trying to get attention because of all the crimes you commit.

Left or right or both. I love that it's either you're in a gang or gay. The two sexualities. Life presents you choices. Okay. I think the rest of these are washed. Yeah, I'm trying to find if there's any funny ones. This is the opinion of a nearly middle-aged American woman.

Neither. I find any accessory other than a wristwatch on a man a turn off. Thanks, Ellen Nailor. She's kind of the opposite of Siren Body Jewelry in this way. She says, don't get it. As if she's going to be dating any of these people. Well, she is the admin of Ellen Nailor's posts. I would expect no one else to be the admin of Ellen Nailor's posts.

I'm going to try to apply for, can you like ask? Yeah, maybe. Ellen, let me mod. I'm going to follow the space. I'm going to ask Cora to be the admin for Ellen Nailor's space. Again, I hate that my name is attached to following Ellen Naylor's post. We could change it. Okay.

We might change it. We'll find a fake name for you eventually. Yeah. What should my fake name be? Ooh, Tamzarian Ramblethorn. That's a good one. Edgar Mysterioso. We'll figure this out.

Franklinville. You wouldn't be mad at Edgar Mysterioso, would you? All right. Let's go to the romance segment. All right. That's fair. Now that we're done talking about sexuality, this is Core Romance. This is our romance and dating questions.

Carmen, as an expert in dating, romance, and the world of love, we have a few questions the internet found that will probably end up in fucking a dog, and we want to ask you that. All the questions are, can I fuck my dog if we don't make eye contact during? Those blue husky eyes. If he looks back Is that cheating I like that you assume

That you're pegging the dog No I think the dog's pegging you The dog is certainly pegging you I'm a girl Okay yeah That makes sense I mean I forgot for a minute

I just I just think in general Like if you're gonna have sex With a dog Like asking a dog To bottom Is such an Ordeal

Like a dog might Accidentally fall Into your asshole But there's no way you're gonna be like come on bro just get used just push through the pain there's no way it's not the other way around right yeah no it's definitely the other way around sorry that's for safety okay this is an important question that wasn't the question the question is what would you do if your wife allows you to do polygamy she what would you do if your wife

allows you to do polygamy like she wants extra wives no she allows you to do polygamy she so you would ask like babe i'm thinking about having other wives and she'd be like i allow it you can do it seems like she wants another wife yeah maybe maybe a little help around the house she allows us to do the bjs and she gets to fuck a woman on the side i mean not the worst we all agree you two definitely should have gotten married and that she's definitely the one keeping you from having other wives and not like yourself or your religion or whatever. Jeremy and I are both married men.

It's true. Sorry, YouTube. All those comments we get. Sorry. But I think if I was allowed, I would probably not do it. Sure. Out of commitment.

Sure. It's a test. I don't think I would do a good job, and it sounds hard. That also does sound very difficult. Alternatively, you could embark on a Pokemon-style adventure, or catch all of the kinds of wives.

You got to marry them all. If you get like two wives, they're going to hate each other. If you get three wives, there's going to be competition. If you have 150 or more to see wives, they're all just living in a beautiful biome of your house. That's Confucius who said that, right?

Yes. It's a famous proverb. To be a wife master is my destiny, Confucius. Here's my riddle. If you have two wives, they will not get along. If you have three wives. I hate that part.

They will be sisters. of Confucianism. How many wives would I want to have? How many husbands? What's the maximum of wives before they take over? They unionize. These wives are taking over! Their wages are too low.

Yeah, I would want at least three. Yeah, you're right. Two is... Two is like, what do you mean two wigs? Three you're like, yeah, I'd take three wives. Four is a lot. Three is a good number. Four is a lot. Husbands, I could do two and up.

If they fought each other. Two husbands, I think, is right. You want them to fight each other. Yeah. You don't want two wives fighting each other. You want three wives. Three is a lot. Also, I feel like husbands get up to a lot of deadbeat activities, and then when you're

bored with one, you can go see what the other one's doing. Right. Since playing video games, where's the other one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. With him? God damn it. They've squatted up, my husbands. Oh, no.

My husbands are playing duos. They got to get out of the storm. That could be a question we ask. How can I get my husbands to play duos together? in fortnite or apex legends two great games um okay let's read some of these answers what would you do if your wife allows you to do polygamy and there's 69 years why does every question sounds like it was translated using that's just how the website that's the language of the they have their own you're not supposed to write it right how many do you when i want to wife

with more than one for my wives if i am allowed they're all written by charlie from it's always Okay, so Fran Brockstein says I had a client with two wives. His religion allowed him to have more than one wife if he could treat them equally and keep them both happy. Basically, both women were mad at him.

And his children from his first marriage hated the second wife and the new children. So in summary, he mad. He mad. Okay, it's hidden by a cord. It's not he mad. It's a Quora plus answer, meaning we cannot read all of it as we have not paid money

to find out. Somebody DMed me recently and said like, how much money do I need to send you to just buy Quora Plus? I think the answer is we don't want it, right? We make it a very high Patreon goal is what we do. We're a podcast of the people. We start cashing in. If we get to like $100,000 a month, we will get Quora Plus.

You gotta tell 10 friends about the podcast before we're reading the Quora Plus. He mad. In short, he mad. Self-employed mediator. She's a Texas family attorney and mediator for 30 years. She got her JD in law from South Texas College of Law.

She lives in Marble Falls. Sorry, what's up? You always want to say like their house. It's crazy. I think it's so funny that I can click on this woman's name, see a photo of her, and tell you the small town she lives in. Like, what's the population of Marble Falls? Hey, ask on Quora.

I want to see what comes up. Marble Falls. Marble Falls. Marble Falls has a population of 7,000. Wow. Yeah, you'd be able to find her in a half hour. If you look up mediators, that's a short list. If you live in Texas and you go to Marble Falls and you yell out Fran Brockstein,

good chance you can find her and tell her we read her fucking shitty Quora Plus answer. But also that we encourage her services and we are promoting her on the show. Yeah, that too. Fran, you're killing it. This is an advertisement. Red has paid us a lot of money to mention her name. More than one wife. No, thanks.

One is plenty. Oh. Boom. No, thanks. Oh, this guy says, you know what the penalty? I regret the decisions I've made. This guy says, you know what the penalty for bigamy is? Two wives.

Then he goes, sorry, had to. We were wide open. He posted a face-tuned photo of his wife. This is a hot version of my wife. Am I wrong? It looks airbrushed. airbrush yeah no it doesn't he's there's a filter on that there's no way she's that beautiful she has the libido of a feral rabbit jesus christ feral rabbit who just got sprung from prison we

get it you're mixing your metaphors here your wife craves your seed it wasn't a feral rabbit he was like what else what was the rabbit arrested for it was arrested for fucking that's the sad How are you feral if you have to live by the laws of society? For rabbits, it is illegal for cheating. So she went to jail. She just finished re-walling and tiling the bathroom. Oh, that's cool. Why is that on there?

I like that this guy goes on Quora to escape his wife and her unbelievable sexual urges. And like all the landscaping she's done. She redid the walls and ceiling. He's like, oh boy, I would never want to have two wives. Also, my wife is amazing and does literally everything. I love my wife. I love my wife so much.

She's the hole in my heart. She fills me. Wait a minute. This is by Chance the Rapper? Okay. That's a joke for nobody. I don't even know how to put it in there. Of all the celebrities, though, I could picture Chance answering Cora's question.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I would say one wife is enough. Blah, blah. All right. Let's read this next question. Does he still do that? He's probably done doing that.

I have no idea. He's moved on. What segment is this? This is still core romance. Okay, good. Nice, just as I intended. Okay, I think I found this one online. Does this mean it's over?

My girlfriend stopped replying to me in text when I told her in person I don't accept her six-year-old daughter. I just want her and only her. Her final text was, quote, goodbye. Should I go to her house? Should I go to her house? Should I go to her house?

I am very into reviewing a six-year-old daughter and thinking rejected not interested in this part of it just not for me was mostly trying to have sex with her mom this part where i have to send a child to school sucks i love also just like cutting out the insane daughter part does this mean it's over my girlfriend said goodbye should i go to her house um what's that movie where they hold the the radio up outside the house it works say anything it works and say anything yeah so i think you wouldn't know until you tried i mean i wouldn't recommend it but what song would you play to reveal that you want her back but you still don't accept her daughter what song is about hating kids i don't know

oh man another confucius riddle he's not wrong but he's definitely not right no yeah i mean it's interesting it's an interesting question. You ain't wrong for this one. Should he go to the house? Maybe find out, you know, get closure. Yeah, it's not bad to ask for clarification. I once got fired

this way. Hey, can you kill your kid, though? Just make sure she doesn't want to do that. Send her somewhere else. She sucks! She's so annoying. She never wants to watch good movies. Always dumb

kid bullshit. You got fired and you didn't know it? Oh, yeah. I had a very passive boss at a moving company once who was firing me by just not giving me shifts anymore. And so there was a few weeks where I was like, when am I coming back? And he just wouldn't answer me.

And I had to go there and be like, am I fired and you're just not telling me? And he was like, yes, that is the case. You got ghosted. It really hurt my feelings. And it made it worse that he was so sad to do it too. Like no eye contact. Just like, yeah, we don't want you around anymore.

I was like, no. I don't like that you're sad. out back yeah i'm like the dog he had sex with and was done with petting afterwards don't make this harder than it has to be alex this is over go move boxes somewhere else you have to put your boxes in a box and take them out is that how you got fired from a movie company it's very it's like a new yorker cartoon boxes they actually have their employees take my boxes no longer allowed to touch them um anyway every single answer here is just someone being

like what no no i think this is a fake one i don't think this is real yeah no it's almost certainly fake but it's funny too uh outrageous uh one more one person says probably not her answer was goodbye. That's a good point. She has chosen her daughter over you. This is a high critical literacy test. They should put this on the SATs.

I'm trying to see if anybody is like giving an answer other than like, how dare you ask this question? You should not go to anyone's house. You should go to a mental counselor. Boring. Go to a house. Boring, boring, boring, boring.

We're done with that. Okay, on to our next segment, Quartz. I'll help you with the sound. It's the little smiley face at the top. And then a song I wrote. Welcome to Quartz. The Quora segment in regards to sports. Crack of the bat.

Slap of the puck. It's Quartz. All right, now turn it off before something bad happens. Okay. Carmen, you like to hit the ball? I like the ball. Okay, great. I'm wearing a WNBA sweatshirt.

Yeah, there you go. Hell yeah, brother. Those ladies can dunk. Or can they? I have not seen it. About four can. In the picture on your shirt, they can. So that's what's important.

You don't know where the hoop is. That could be a layup. That's not true at all. If the hoodie extended past Karma's head, you'd find the hoop. The top of the hood has a net on it. Is my neck hole the hoop? Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

This is a good shirt. 420. The people at the WNBA really know what they're doing. All right. So this question, Waffles is now out of the Pelican case again. Okay. Yeah. This is a question that I think.

Oh, no. What happened? Waffles, do you want to answer this question for us? Waffles, I direct this question to you. Should girls skateboard? Should girls skateboard? Should girls skateboard? You're going to hurt your knees.

knees i'll allow it i guess that really is the only answer but only if she's lesbian not yeah there you go a bunch of super questionable somebody's gonna take this out of context at some point if i ever get a job yeah i hope they skim past the belly button question to go right to you um so i would say should girls skateboard if they want to um i don't think that if they want too, is part of it. The question is, should they skateboard? It's like, you know, should you eat

vegetables with dinner? This is part of being older, but I've just been watching anybody skateboarding and being like, stop doing that. I'm against everyone skateboarding for sure. They're flying through the air at hard objects. It just seems like a really bad idea.

You go surf instead or something. At least it seems like gentler. Surfing seems equally... Well, I guess maybe you're right. If you're in those huge waves, if you're really having gnarly ones, then you can get total chowder. You can get bowled over, rolled, you can get washed out. You can hang 10 into your grave. But if you're just doing normal size waves, I think it's a lot safer.

That's fair. Like if you fall off a skateboard, I heard the story in middle school, which means it's a hundred percent true about this guy who fell off a skateboard, grinding a rail and he busted his nuts open. And then there was like blood and so that's not, that's not a story that happened to someone you know, you should skateboard though. Yeah, that's for sure. Great point.

There you go. There's no balls because there's no balls. It's safer. Um, that's just from that show, right? What? Oh fuck. What was the name of that show? You're telling me somebody lied to me as a child.

first of all everyone i know has heard the story of like i know someone who knows someone who tried to climb a fence this story and then their balls got ripped open but but there's a there's a can you make a sound effect oh no it's pretty close there was a show on like mtv or something i can't think of what it's called it was called like wrecked or something so everyone's gonna be commenting yelling at me about this uh yeah mtv's wrecked it came on there um but that's where that's from i think that was a guy every episode is just like here's a guy who skateboarded and broke his ball sack i amend my answer to no unless like nobody should skateboard but if you are gonna do not have balls right if

you are gonna skateboard you should be a woman if you're a trans guy or if you're just a eunuch like in Game of Thrones. If you're one of his little birds sitting in the court. Is there an ask a eunuch section? There should be. How do you spell it? Is it just E-U-N-I-C-H?

E-U, right? E-U-N-I-C-H. We'll look into this later. Please answer the skateboard question. The answers here are mostly boring. One person says no one should skateboard. One person says only if they want to. One person says absolutely hell to the yeah.

Okay. Yes, please. More girls. Black girls, white girls, Hispanic, Asian, et cetera. give me black girls uh this is of course uh a white man who posted this question i think i think specific races of girls should skateboard and send me their videos black white hispanic etc wow you could be blue man

just get out there and board already so goddamn horny right now would you like to watch like the competitions with it's like five-year-olds are better than 12-year-olds sometimes because they just have no fear or concept of what they're doing. Yeah. It's really interesting to watch. Five-year-old skateboarding?

Yeah. That's cool. Professionally, because they qualify in the same bracket as the other, up to like 16 or something. I've definitely seen

like six-year-olds. They're like, the six-year-old's from Hawaii and has been skateboarding her whole life. There's got to be a better way. Well, here he is against a 14-year-old.

She has no bones and she's just doing flips. You can take a dinger real good as a child. You can like get hit with a bat. your body just like bends around injuries um and again i am a doctor and i'm saying that but uh to tie things back to the sea i have noticed in terms of fear that i am more afraid of things that i never used to even think about like now whenever i go underwater in the ocean i'm like what if

there's a big fucking fish there or shark and it gets me and i never thought about that before but you can't see anything in the ocean it could be anything down there it could be a king koopa situation. Wait, what? You know, where there's a Bowser or some kind of large... That's a King Koopa situation. Alright, fair enough. Is that not a

King Koopa situation? The Mario character? Yeah, the Mario character. Could be in the ocean? Well, I think similar to him. A saltwater croc. That counts. Honestly, I was distracted because I was trying to find Ask a Eunuch, and I came back

And I heard King Koopa situation, and I was like, I don't know what's going on. I feel like I missed something, but it turns out maybe I didn't. I regret ever saying it. Okay. What does ask a eunuch say? There's nothing. I can't find anyone asking eunuch questions. I looked up just eunuch, and the first question is, is Donald Trump a eunuch?

Which I think, why would Donald Trump be a eunuch? The answer is famously no. He is in big trouble for having sex with somebody. Yes. Not just in Little China. This is a good show. Okay. we've totally answered

the skateboard question okay that's all of our quarts that's all of our quarts what time are we at I feel like I could do a little more we're at 56

give me a little more baby give me a little more this is our final segment forbidden knowledge here in forbidden knowledge we ask the questions that are you're not supposed

to know about them and they're on Quora ah spooky what what the hell Quora doesn't want you to know

they're not they're not always in the forbidden knowledge community That is a community on Quora, forbidden knowledge, where people ask questions that you're not allowed to know and then other people answer them, even though you're not allowed to know them.

I think one of the questions today is actually on forbidden knowledge. We'll see. Maybe. Okay, so the first one, I didn't know where to put this. Can I break glass windows silently and how do I do that? And how do I do that? It's just, again, just that famous Quora dialogue. I don't think you can.

I feel like this group was started by cops. how do i do commit crimes and here i go i'm doing them would you like to help me commit crimes uh how do i break glass silently i think there are tools for this i've seen have you seen ninja rocks oh yeah where it's like a rock and it's a deep and then yeah yeah you just like hit it on a windshield and it explodes or whatever i think it's like a hollow circle with a ball in it and And so you like hit it in and then like the ball hits the ball and it breaks it silently. Oh, it's quiet enough. It's as quiet as you're going to get it.

You can't do it silently. That's what this guy says. He's like, if you want zero decibels emanating when you break the glass and the answer is no. He's like, I know so much about sound. No one cares. Fuck you. Mark Grabow, who studied at the Oregon State University. That's what happens when you answer questions like that.

You didn't even use a silencer. That's how I break your glass silently. And how do I do that? Well, I don't think you can break glass silently. Yeah, me neither. I don't think so. I think the answer is no. And how do I do it?

The answer is you can't do it. You can't do it. But you can break it normal. And go out there and get it done. Yeah, just freaking normal. Well, also, what are you doing? Yeah, there'd be so many robberies. Yeah.

Yeah, sure. One guy says, get a good set of earplugs. Ah, very clever. I guess. He treated it like a riddle. This is kind of like if you could break glass silently, there'd be a lot more robberies. And also, physics would be different,

and we'd live in a different world. How do I get to Carnegie Hall? By practicing. Dad, get off Cora. um so quora has run out of answers that they've deemed appropriate for this question but there are several answers that they've hidden under a section that says uh answers that need improvement have we seen this before i don't think i don't think i've seen answers that need improvement these are the ones that didn't make the grade of most quora i don't think they do need improvement

one person says pretty bad to any law enforcer uh any law officer would be able to answer your question one guy says uh heat it up with a torch and pour cold water on it but that's loud though that is pretty because then the grass the glass breaks one guy says uh first tell me why you want to do it that doesn't need improvement okay that doesn't answer the question one guy says put a thick blanket over the glass and step on it with rubber-soled boots it's the first answer that even remotely is okay what about what about jay lamb this is the kind of the riddle of it he says break it in a vacuum so if you broke glass in space it would make wow yeah thanks got him Piece of shit, J-Lam.

Science! All right, let's stalk this guy. Come on. He's the only one who had a good answer for the question. You want to stalk him? I want to dox him. Send our sickos to his house? Yeah, if you're a sicko, go take down J-Lam.

The time has come to eat the lamb. I feel like my cats are fighting. Yeah. Oh, well. Ignore that. All right, let's do this next question. This is the last question of the day. This is from Austin Mullen.

Sorry if we weren't supposed to say your name. Unless you wanted us to, and then you're welcome. What is the most evil theorem in mathematics? Great question. I do like that question. The most evil. Some would say the atom bomb theorem.

I can't name a single theorem. Sure. Me neither. Pythagorean. Oh, of course. Fibonacci's theorem. Oh, wait. That's a sequence.

Whatever. Yeah, what other theorems are there? Jeremy's theorem. That's a good one. it's very evil you one must answer a quora to receive a quora it's a squared plus b squared equals

death squared so scary get rid of that theorem get that one out of the books I now know how those like Texas Republicans who moderate all the textbooks feel and they're just like I don't think there should be a death theorem

in kids books you gotta get that one out of there why are kids learning this You ever read under that? They don't need to know about the death theorem. It's wokeness in schools. Yeah, stop trying to woke-ify my books. Critical death theory.

By teaching them powerful curses. That's like the Harry Potter Republican. I think muggles should stay where they are. Something I've always believed. We should not have a defense against the dark arts. That is their right if they want to practice that. Why isn't Butterbeer alcoholic, man? the fuck is it for uh yeah i don't want to like mix it what would you think would go well the

best with butter butter beer like what alcohol would you mix it sounds like it's just like a melted caramel honestly it sounds bad as shit yeah um too sweet but does it have a kind of drug in it if it makes you like feel that good um yes magic it's got magic it's got magic drugs in it that fucking book all the answers are just it's magic to every question it's no good to Theorize about Before she was bad The books were bad Back when she was just bad

And then Princey's attractive She was so hot back then I'm lowering my glasses at young J.K. Rowling Joanne What you writing on that napkin girl You bad You got a whole novel on there You about to make it

Make a lot of people mad um anyway let's read this guy's answer for the most evil math uh math theorem this better and this is this is i mean trigger warning to carmen and all listeners sometimes smart people find their way on quora and then they like fucking talk your ear off and so like if he starts talking about like oh you gotta multiply that it's like it's looking like it might be like that about that but yeah this guy's gonna have like a really technical answer and i'm gonna be upset about it He's also a Ph.D. of mathematics at the University of California. I've been waiting his whole life for this question.

Oh, yeah. He probably asked the question. Let's see how far we get. He asked the question just so we could answer it. Good question. I know some evil theorems. What's the word of my theorem? Oh, yeah.

I could answer that. Okay. He says, the most evil math theorem I know is Kenneth's Arrow Impossibility Theorem, which states that every social choice function cannot always have all of these properties. One, it is fair. That is, it divides power equally. It is decisive. That is, it answers every question posed to it.

It is linear. That is, its preferences never go in a loop. It is responsive. That is, it never defies a consensus. Ah, tiger! Anyway, to organize a society will at least sometimes be unfair, indecisive, illogical, perverse. I feel like this is being read to me by fucking Jeff Daniels in the newsroom. Oh, shit.

Do you think it's him? Yeah, monarch is responsive, linear, decisive, but unfair. Rule by consensus is responsive, logical, fair, but indecisive. I can't. Majority rule is responsive. Who cares? He's just saying. This is kind of an evil theorem then.

His whole thing is like, what's the most evil math theorem? It's a little something called society. We live in it and it's not good. Maybe the zombies aren't the problem. Maybe it's the people. That's a great point, Carmen. Yeah. This is the kind of answer that's just like when people are like, capitalism isn't good,

but it's the best we got. Well, I think it's actually a step beyond that into like a pro-monarchy answer of just like, if you had just a wise king, none of this would be going on because they just tell it like it is. It's so true. I hate that theorem, the king's theorem.

I would agree with Samuel Fieldman. This guy's got an okay one. He says, Godel's incompleteness theorem is the closest we have to an evil theorem. It says that we can never be completely sure that the math we're doing is correct. just like oh yeah evil if you're a mathematician trigger warning for mathematicians

oh i hate it now that came out trigger warning for them uh this guy godel was just like i have a theorem math could be wrong in the book why even do it then why do any of it math might not be real well fuck fuck me well i guess fuck my pussy if the math is wrong oh i thought samuel friedman was going to end up or fieldman was going to end up being like a famous mathematician but that's just another quora user wait no there's gotta be that's gotta be a popular last day for something no i think that he's agreeing with him i did maybe mathematicians are just all over quora and it's just like a hot spot to hang out very possible i mean it's the most logical place my friend from college get out of

there but that's gonna be so useful that's gonna be great for when the other one doesn't work tell us about your friend from college my friend from college dm me to say that her dad is a math teacher who's on quora all the time so that does check okay so quora is for math lovers yeah and that is reflected in our very intelligent audience i'm trying to find any other people have a lot of theories that they're saying are evil i think the answer is really just that math is evil I hope all of the theorems are by other posters on the website. That kind of reminds me of Pussy Getters philosophy. And what is that one?

What theorem is that? Getting pussy gets pussy, bro. And it's on a chalkboard. It doesn't make sense. It's evil. It is dark and bad. Did we hear the story of the janitor who solved that? Oh, yeah, I did, actually.

It was just on an MIT chalkboard, the pussy theorem. And some guy filled it out. It's very popular in Boston, this story. Okay. Anyway. That's enough. One guy says, just one. Sorry, what are you?

Are you looking for that's enough? That's enough. I just want to read two more really quick. This one guy says, there's nothing evil in mathematics, and then it goes on. And another guy says, all of it. Yeah. So these people disagree. One person says nothing.

One person says all of math is evil. The two genders. Yeah. All right. Those are all our questions we have. What time were we at? That was forbidden as shit, honestly. Let's ask a quora.

Waffles don't hit any buttons. Okay. First of all, what did we say? We're going to do something about polygamy. We had one before that was like, how can I get my two husbands to like squat up in video games together? Oh, yeah. We can ask that unless we have a better one.

I feel like the answer is just like give them two TVs. My husbands won't play- Give a husband a cookie. My husbands won't play co-op together. Are there any games that would get them to talk? And then it does also imply, like, too, they are a step beyond not playing co-op games together and they are not speaking.

Yeah. Okay. Write that up. You let me know what you end up doing. I'm going to get plugs here from Carmen. It Takes Two or Portal 2. That's what I suggest for those two husbands. Portal 2.

As a gamer. It's so rich in lore. In the meantime, Carmen, thank you so much for coming on the show. Holy shit. where can our audience find you at home and abroad oh they can find me on instagram at karmstagrams karmstagrams that's about it yeah she's got shows on there and stuff and you can see her do stand up and all kinds of that's the best spot twitter's dead right twitter's dead i really i have never made a post on instagram and the like anxiety i get thinking starting

from scratch over there is all consuming i really don't want to yeah i don't want to put a picture online i don't like it i don't like it i don't like it i won't i like using my words what's wrong with words uh what what was the question you ended up doing uh my husbands won't play co-op video games together what can i do to get them to squat up okay yeah that'll be good squat up what it's squad up oh squad that's the show thank you for listening and as always stay curious oh do we want to say that we have a discord or anything oh and by the way we made a Discord. Please join it. Go on Discord to

Quorators. Yeah. We'll post it in the descriptions. Alright. See you fools later. Join the Discord. Alright, bye. Bye-bye.