Quorators - Should I Put My IQ On My Resume? w/ Devon On Earth

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: My husband accidentally pushed our 4-year-old daughter off the 40th story window out of anger. How do I prevent my husband from being sentenced to jail? He doesn't need that hassle. Why did George Washington allow California to be C-shaped instead of shaped like a normal state, which allows it to leech all the valuable coastal property without contributing agriculture back to the country? If Michael Corleone came out as transgender would Vito have been supportive? ----- Follow Devon on social media @ Devon_On_Earth Check out Alex's new kickstarter this holiday season kickstarter.com/theaterofdelights/theater-of-delights-season-6  Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators 

yep recording in progress okay we have the camera all right we have the audio running okay great it's quarators time and you're back on quaraders it's another week here on cracked home of the fact i'm your host alex this is jeremy he's the other host what's up what's up we're here we're ready to get some facts on on quora.com that's what the show is just we record if this is the first one you're watching that's what we require that's the show we got a great guest for you this week you're gonna love them uh right across the pond we have one of the hosts of the kill james bond podcast it is devin how the fuck are you doing i'm doing great it's 9 p.m i'm tired i'm ready to fucking

look at some content and react to it on the internet um by the way before we get into this for the audience for the comment section i use they them pronouns please try just make reasonable attempt at it that's all i'm asking do your best i'm sure the people on cracked who call us pedophiles will be very respectful they can use that shit i should have shown weakness i'm not a guy i'm not a fucking uh logs and stuff man but dude i'm one of the romans us too yeah we're all just classical timbermen we work in the most dangerous field timber retriever chopping logs every day of my life that's right um yeah i think they will probably notice that you are not dan o'brien so we'll see

if that comes up. That's usually what we talk about. The other thing we talk about is Quora.com. Devin, you been on this thing? No. You're going to love it. I don't even know what it looks like. I can't summon a mental image of Quora.com. Mostly red and white. It's red. It's a red website.

Now, I've set my Google Chrome to red colors anyway, so it is kind of red on red for mine, but the website, it's red. It's red and it's white. Imagine if Facebook was red. Isn't that a terrifying idea? It's asking me to log in, so I'm not going to toss that. No, don't log in.

Don't do that. You might actually now get emails every day for the rest of your life. I'm not touching that thing with a 10-foot pole. Well, you may get the emails either way. People just get them. They just show up. They just show up. Like a parasite.

So, Devin, you're familiar with the show. Of course. The first thing we do is we bookend the podcast by asking a question. And last week, we asked a very insightful question. I do not remember what it was. Jeremy, what was it? The question was, what if your penis is full of soda? Oh.

Ah. Bubbly. Well, you'd hate that. Yeah. I bet you'd hate that, wouldn't you? You'd be triggered. Liberals. Liberals hate soda penis.

They get so mad. Remember when Bloomberg tried to steal our soda penises? Hey, Bloomberg, take this, and it's the soda inside my penis. I don't know if that affected everybody. Only us with extra larges, am I right? Oh, you can't say that. You can't say that on crack. I'm shaking it out like a Formula One guy with the champagne.

and I just let it go. It's going everywhere. Shaking up your penis, it just fizzes. Are you shaking your soda in there? A little bit of a penis joke. Is the soda piss or is it cum? We got to move on. Move on to the question and the mean things people will say to us.

No one answered it except for our listeners. So no one said anything. And the reason we know our listeners answered it is they listened to the instructions to respond with the words, scrambled eggs and when you say scrambled eggs we know you're not some perv in tallahassee and we don't find out where you work in your last name and call your office that's right uh so make sure you do that if you're going to comment on one of these um anders graham says david blaine actually did this trick once when he magicked orange soda into the piss of a woke liberal on the street the

liberal was scrambling to find out what happened liberals are so fragile like eggs thank you for this comment is david blaine based based yeah don't say based on what i'll leave i wasn't gonna uh david blaine and the pussy posse that's fucked up to me i don't need to think about david blaine hanging out with um toby mcguire sure and i'll getting hit on by a street wizard would be annoying i feel like it would be well you'd have a real fear that you can't escape yeah sure locking horns with someone with powers beyond this realm now i just like pick a card and he's like check your vagina and it's like is that the card oh my god your vagina is the card and that oh yeah i meant in

it but yeah that works too yeah he's captured your vagina and that's what he does he'll be like do you think that you i know your card and then it's like it's in your ear or whatever yeah yeah i don't know what david blaine is he he like locks himself in a pool and stuff yeah i gotta tell you i would be successfully seduced if i pulled out a photo of my vagina that would be pretty cool i miss your vagina like oh fuck that is it is that's what it looks like just the odds that you'd have one of every vagina just in case are so small like that's probably mine i feel like that probably happens to like most women on the internet at any point yeah people just sliding into their dms to be like is this your vagina hey they're like why do you have that

this is david blaine why do you have this picture of me in my bedroom i'm stuck in ice again i need ten thousand dollars i get that email every day uh oh i was gonna go on some rant about how if wizards were real they'd be fascists but okay we don't we don't because they're old well they're inherently of a different uh realm than us right they believe power yields only to itself that's true and thus they would try to master humans the way that we've mastered the animals that's right i hate to go on my soapbox here so early in the show but in answer to one of your penises full of soda wizards are an existential threat yes we must defeat them it's them or us make that harry potter movie hey make that movie how about that we say that every quarter question we do jk i know

I know you're watching. Absolutely. Make that Harry Potter movie. Yeah, J.K. J.K. That's what we call her. We're on a first name basis. I was talking to J.K. Jones.

Joan. Yeah. He's so cool. I like his hair. We keep reading Quares and he's like, faster. Not my tempo. What will we have to do to meet his tempo? That's what I want to know.

All right. Well, where are we starting with today? We have a great spread here. We've got a lot of parenting questions. This is querenting. Okay. We haven't done this one in a while. That's the bong.

It's the green one. That's enough. There it is. You heard it at home. That's enough. That's enough. These are all of the questions about being a parent, your parents. Really, free association with the word parent.

Fantastic. Are any of us parents here? No. I like to think we're all parents in a way. No, 100%. We're definitely the most qualified to weigh in on this, though. Because a real parent would have their mind, like, blurred by the process of it. We're taking an objective look at this from the outside.

And take someone who can step outside. And I love that. Parents do. I have cats. Oh, and you are a podcast. Are our listeners not our children? That's true. Our beautiful children.

Yours was better than mine. Devin, you have podcasts. I raise my children better than my listeners. Okay. Okay, well, this is a starter here. I'm excited for this, this question. Rob says that he's kind of our dad. In the loosest way, Rob.

In the loosest way. You're closer to our J.K. Simmons. Yeah, not my tempo. Okay. Okay, this question is, my 18-year-old son just became a first-degree Freemason, and it terrifies me. Am I justified for being afraid?

Okay, every child goes through this. I don't know. there's a massive power dynamic shift you have to reckon with her are the masons a bigger force in the uk devin i couldn't tell you oh legally i understand i know more i don't know much about the masons that they like what's their deal what are the boys up to they're like our our little secret society thing that people talk about all the time but they're like kind of we have a masonic in Cardiff, I think. It's like a split analysis here.

Either they have unlocked the secrets of Moloch and performed dark rituals to control society, or it's like a club you can go to to get a job. Yeah, it's one of those things that's not real, but people every now and then are just like, the Freemasons secretly control everything. No, it's literally real. There are tons of them.

No, I know, but I'm saying that part of it's not real. They're like, every president was a Freemason. It's like, yeah, also every president went to Yale. every president owns a co-op yeah like i don't know whatever i am this guy's 18 year old son is one so i'm terribly impressed with them right now you gotta put in your time um this there's a spooky answer here though because zach farrar says hi there freemason here of six years and then it's hidden behind quora plus what kind of powers has this 18 year old gotten access to that you don't get access to by like just being an adult um he's got some friends you know he could

get a job you could get he's got someone to hang out yeah it's like most kids you know they turn 18 they start like smoking cigarettes this kid's like drinking the blood of virgins with the freemasons i'm not trying to stuff i'm afraid my 18 year old is going to smoke cigarettes now that he's a freemason i can't stop him because he's a freemason he's too powerful a bunch of them I just showed up and started stone-cutting my house or something. All right, we got more answers on this. Ian Smith lives in Bermuda. Chiseling.

I answered this question. What's up? I was going to say I'm interested in the Freemason microecology in Bermuda. I want to know about that. I associate Bermuda with not working, and now maybe that's privileged. This is like a 2,000-word answer, unfortunately. Okay, well, there's a gist here, isn't there? It's really about the nature of Freemasonry.

If your son is joining a regular lodge, part of the worldwide fraternity, I would not worry. The Freemason slogan is, make good men better. Every Freemason memorizes the phrase, the order is founded on the principles of brotherly love, relief, and truth. That is the 18th century. That now translates in modern language to mutual support and encouragement, charity, and honesty. That's a good motto for a lodge. Can I say that? Yeah, I'm always saying that.

a fraternity could have a worse motto I'm trying to see if he says anything bad if you're concerned look up the ritual and read it he loves to join a fraternity that'd be great fun such a stigma about joining adult fraternities they don't let you do it man

you try they get really mad at you they call you a sicko it's like you can be an adult student I'm sure you can just like join the fraternity here you can show up at the Masonic Lodge You know, all of the presidents were in a fraternity. That's true.

They were all in Alpha, Omega, Phi. That's right, Jeremy. I tried to riff one. That was pretty good. Those are three Greek letters you said. That's probably one. Who would I be to strike you down for that? This guy also says Freemasonry is a group that helps men learn to speak,

to lead, to understand, to be confident in themselves, and supports them in their beliefs and ethics. Freemasonry is really a secret organization with an elaborate plot to rule the world. It's about love, bro. They're like, which one is it? Is it a place that helps men speak? Or is it a place that sacrifices goats and virgins?

This is essentially what I said. Also, he keeps saying Occam's Razor in it. I think he's saying Occam's Razor is like, why would they be the secret society when they could just be a cool group? Which I guess is true. Yeah, but all the secret societies want you to think that. True.

It probably is easier to just be like a cool group than a secret society. Yeah. It feels like a lot more work to set up a secret society than to just like hang out with the boys. You got to confiscate everyone's phones in there. Yeah. Hey, no phones. No phones. Put it in the bag.

Put it in the Dave Chappelle bag. Put it in the Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle is watching the door at this. He's doing his time. I have a friend who went to a comedy show and put his phone in one of those bags, but pressed record right before doing it. And he did record the guy's whole comedy show. Which I was like, dude, that's illegal. So they're going to arrest you.

They're going to send you to an Ohio-style jail. Yeah, you're going to go to an Ohio-style prison. Because Dave Chappelle lives in Ohio. Does he live in Ohio? It wasn't a Dave Chappelle show. That guy joined the Freemasons, so they can't touch him now. Yeah, exactly. What I'm taking from this post is that there are 100 answers all by Freemasons,

and that Quora is full of Masons. It is kind of interesting. Note, as an atheist, that's an interesting start. The Freemasons aren't scary. George Washington was a Freemason. There you go. Along with a whole bunch of the oldest presidents of the United States. It's like, oh, they're not scary.

Just everyone who ever led the country was a member. Just some guys who killed a lot of people altogether. Several slave-owning American founders. All right, that's enough of this question, I think. It disgusts me. Yeah, move on. I hope George Washington did it. Okay.

My husband accidentally pushed our four-year-old daughter off the 40th story window out of anger. How do I prevent my husband from being sentenced to jail? he doesn't need that hassle have we done this one before no no there's a lot like this he doesn't need that hassle really underlines the problem with going to jail doesn't it this probably didn't this is obviously like a troll or whatever but i do like the he doesn't need that he's got a lot of stuff going on right now here's the thing about my husband he works he's got so much going on as soon as you go to jail that's the one thing you have going on all day that's right clear your schedule pal he's not cleaning the flat he's not do we think of a second thing that you could do

i saw you performing a dance what else do dads do come on um well do you think the daughter survived the four-year-old daughter who was pushed out of a 40-story window out of anger? Well, kids are pretty small, and I know bugs can survive at that height. That's right. That's true. What are kids about little bugs? My little love bugs.

We don't have any kids. I think he would have mentioned if the kid died. Actually, to be fair, maybe she doesn't want him to go to jail, so maybe she wouldn't mention this. It would be so funny to write this post, and then the child's fine and not include

a parentheses. She's fine. Don't worry. No issue for the child. Okay, some good answers. It was fine. It was one of those Christian babies out of parachutes. Yeah. The father renounced atheism to protect the baby.

My Christian four-year-old got shoved out a window. I accidentally shoved my baby out of a window, and I renounced Christianity before she hit the ground, so I'm fine. I'm not going to hell. I'm free. That's right. This is a hack you can do.

People don't know about this. Warner Sims says, Look, sweetheart, We don't need the hassle from you trolling us. Never do us parents of actual four-year-olds like myself need to read such triggering comments. It's probably true. Take up fictional writing or something. Join a free online class.

Enter short story competitions. Or join a properly moderated online fictional role-playing group. Or, better yet, get out in the real world and pick up LARPing and find like-minded people who like to make-believe things, too. there's nothing wrong with it. Just leave Quora to the people who want serious questions and answers, please. And that's us. That's really good.

That has 1,000 upvotes. That's a lot of Quora upvotes. You do not see that every day. That's right. I really like starting any post with, like, look, sweetheart. You can say anything after that. Sonic the Hedgehog's actually really cool. He's never been pregnant.

Why don't you join him? The law is surprisingly deep. It's really well written when you get into it. The sneakers are so detailed. Such little sneakers. But, yeah, he's probably going to jail. I don't know how to show him going for you. He doesn't need that asshole.

The last thing you want to do is go online and admit he did it. That's where I'm going to start. your honor he's really busy he's in a band my husband is scott pilgrim your honor yeah there's too many girlfriends to go to jail um he's got to take care of like three or four more ex-boyfriends they're not gonna meet him in jail maybe maybe ramona flowers dated this four-year-old and that's why he threw the baby out of a window. Oh, well, in that case,

justified A, B, easiest boyfriend on the list. She turned into a bunch of coins. Love conquers all. Thank you for writing in with these parenting questions. We got some other great stuff here. Let's do his quorical teachings.

All right, I might get this one wrong. Hold on. Four score and seven quoras ago, we read, these are history posts. Okay, here's a very American question. In prehistoric times when men and women lived in

caves, did they really love each other? Say it. Pierce the narrative. What do we think? I think they loved each other. I'm willing to say that. I'm 100% happy to put my name down towards that. I think they loved each other more.

Sweetheart, they did. I think they were romancing. I think so. I don't know why they wouldn't be. From what I've seen in these very suggestive books, they maybe were more in love than we've ever been in our present time. That's right. There are sexy cavemen in books. Look into it.

There's one answer here. This is true. My nan loves it. No, there's two answers. All of the women in my family all read these books, and they, like, talk about it. I know exactly the books you're talking about. What is this? My family 100% as well.

Do you not know about this? Sexy cavemen books? Yeah, well, it's not always a caveman, but it can be all kinds of professions of man. and there's often time traveling. I don't know if caveman is a profession. Well, it is. What else are you doing? There's no jobs back then.

That's true. You only live in a cave. You gotta fight a cave bear. It's not your job to live in a house. Anyway, so the caveman, he somehow finds a modern woman and he's swinging it the way they don't know how to anymore.

Unfrozen caveman lover? Yeah. Yeah, that's what we're talking about. Okay. I was thinking a joke on SNL, but yeah. Oh. Unfrozen caveman lover. I love SNL.

Lorne. Lorne, is there anything funnier than Caveman? There you go. Come on. But at the same time, do check out these books. There's 5,000 of them. I will. I've heard of Bigfoot and stuff like that,

where people have sex with creatures. What? But not Caveman. That's apparently very lucrative online, is to write books about women having sex with cryptids. And it'll be like, I fell in love with dot, dot, dot, Dracula? I don't believe you that this is lucrative. Really?

I think this is tried out, played out shit, fake, not real. That's exactly the kind of thing that would be half of the economy these days. I 100% believe that you can make a good living. By the way, you do not have to get a degree to write your I Made Love to Frankenstein e-book. You can do that at home. No, absolutely. It's a great job. We have a lot of impressionable young people.

Oh, Rob says look up Chuck Tingle. Oh, I already know Chuck Tingle. We can get Chuck Tingle. Are you going to get Chuck Tingle on the pod? That sounds pretty realistic to me. Is Chuck Tingle's thing is that he just writes the most sex book about anything?

I see he has a book about having sex with Wordle in this. It's a lot of like It's like The game Wordle. Word salad plus gay sex is usually the format.

No, they're just like that. Most of those are just written for the title. handsome sentient food pounds my butt and turns me gay. Physical manifestation of Wordle pounds my butt

is a slightly frustrating but ultimately rewarding and meditative daily routine. Wordle's very handsome in some ways. Ultimately rewarding, by the way, means that they came at the end.

I think so. It was hard, but it was ultimately rewarding. It was a tough wank. This is what happened there. I'm looking at these Chuck Tingle books and I'm thinking like,

is it, does everyone have abs? Is that it? Yes. It just seems like everyone but me has abs. And that's why we're firing you from the podcast. My macaroni and cheese is a lesbian.

Also, she is my lawyer. That's complicated. Yeah. I don't like this guy. He pisses me off, honestly. He makes me bad. Hey, why don't you go to a forum of asking creative questions while we ask serious questions here on Quora?

Yeah, exactly. Screw you, Chuck. Anyway, so this question is, did cavemen love each other? Yes, they did. They believed love grew over time. That's from Cheyenne. I think cavemen can love each other. I don't know.

We both married people we met in high school, so who are we to be like, no, you have to have a larger community to find love. That's not at all the same, Jeremy. That's the same thing. I understand where they're coming from. It's a real place, which is our Neanderthals emotionally developed

in a way where they can find love. But many animals can find love, and there's no way to think that these giant sexual brutes weren't head over heels with each other in these caves. Now, there is a TV show. It's called Geico's Cavemen. If you're playing Quarator's Bingo at home,

Geico's Cavemen is the center square. Alright, I don't know. To circle back on my one, the book I was thinking of was The Clan of the Cave Bear by Gene M. Owl, I think. And your family tells you that they read

this book. That's correct. Oh, my nan loved this series. She was reading it all the time I picked one up as a child and opened it And it was just raw, just a sex scene straight in the middle And I was like, oh, okay 1980 novel, an epic Prehistoric fiction about prehistoric times

Oh, this is kind of an old one My mom was very into the Highlanders series Which is now a TV show Which kind of, I think, ruins the appeal to me Because the whole point is it's a sexy novel If you're just watching sex, that's porn That's just porn Like, reading about it, that's way more high class

the whole thing where you're just like what the like uh uh soft core porn was always baffling to me of just like i'm here to jack off but just a little bit that's what the whole point of quora is that's literally like half of the website is people just being like i want to jack off i'm surprised that wasn't in the baby falling out a window answer about like don't come on here where i'm jacking off and post about four-year-olds falling out a window it's risking it to scroll quora while you're jacking off it's most of the website just like answering all of the questions sexy enough you're like how dare you fuck you i was looking at a bunch today and like there's so many questions that

are just like my stepmom made me take off all my clothes what should i do get out of that pool yeah you gotta respond to that fast sweetheart just waiting there holding the phone I do like that you can answer them like six years later and be like, don't have sex with your stepsister. Yeah, come on. You guys are a family. I'm so sorry I'm late. Don't have sex with your stepsister. I really hope you didn't.

Speaking of George Washington, we have a question about him. why did george washington allow california to be c-shaped instead of shaped like a normal state which allows it to leach all the valuable coastal property without contributing agriculture back to the country devin you had to know we were going to throw this one at you first and foremost is it c-shaped because it kind of it looks like an angled line it's a wide c yeah it's like some backwards j at the fucking best here let's be let's be honest with ourselves yeah it's like a backwards j it's like it's a backwards j it's a hiragana coup i've always done that because he's a liberal and california is of course a famously liberal state yeah um that's why he did it yeah

shaped like a j for all the lib jobs they're doing over is it frustrating that you have to know all of our dumb bullshit and we probably don't know anything about the uk you don't know anything about name one county in britain buckingham pretty good pretty good yeah buckingham sheer is a county weeds they come at me bro they come at me they think i'm not gonna have buckingham ready i'm eating my words here live this is devastating yeah we know all sorts of stuff i got a whole admiral's uniform i dress up in around the house not a bridge i do it all i've googled california um it looks nice you know i'm a state a lot of it's a desert and is uh forbidden to be lived in by man by god and it's a sin to be there but god

bless everyone out there but why did george washington allow it to be a sea shape i don't know why do you do that the interesting part of this is like this is someone aside from the fact that george washington was not around when the california started or whatever when california that's vital to me um by like a lot of years like not a hundred years there were all these other people we don't have to talk about them now but they had california and uh somehow we got a hold of it anyway uh george washington who was there before he's not picking he's not picking state shapes that's all mexico i think you just let him you just let him show their natural curves yeah exactly like massachusetts just looks like that george

was always talking about how he loved a curvy state they all looked like figure eights to him just trying to carve the country up into figure eights none of them fit together very into this idea a real state is one that is supremely wiggly around the border we know this it's it comes up against a river so if you look at on a map it does this all over the any state with just a straight line you're not trying make it wigglier the ones that are like rectangles it's like go fuck yourself how dare you it can be the same shape just greeble it a bit for yeah just throw a bit of like wiggles on that and we're good why don't you make it natural

that's all we're asking ohio come on colorado come on iowa maybe i'm in dangerous territory i don't know the states that well wouldn't you feel better if it was wigglier in wyoming i think I know you would. I'd probably remember them more. Yeah. It's hard when they're like, rectangle 34, which one's that one? Exactly. Yeah, I think they're...

This is the part of the show that appeals to 10-year-olds a lot. It's like, slurring states is too hard. You gotta have natural boundaries. 10-year-olds love our show. And you know who hates our show? Those stinky teachers. Ugh. Always giving us homework.

Yeah, here's my homework. I'm going on Quora. Tell your mom to go to patreon.com slash Quora. We got all kinds of resources over there. You can print out crayon drawings, whatever. Listen, any 10-year-old listening, all we need is the number on the front of your mom's credit card and there's three fun little digits on the back.

Just send them to us. The security code is important, though, all joking aside. You do have to include the security code. Please include the security code. What kind of means things are people saying to this for us? Mostly people are bad about the timeline here. are you talking about george washington the first president we did not own california at the time in fact we knew very little about the west past the smoky mountains did you flunk history that's linda

morrow now there are probably people who were named george washington in the time that california was made into a state and my question is why did they allow it to be c-shaped speak on it right speak on it there's probably people named george washington right now if you are george washington you are complicit yeah exactly why not you you see shapes as uh states how dare you i think we're on the same page here uh we should try a triangle you know yeah they're all squares and like parallelograms vermont in a nice like nice triangle i mean whatever that one is up top there but looks vaguely triangle shape looks it would have been better if i knew the name of it ready to make that point however it's gotta be vermont michigan oh maybe you're looking at half

of michigan i can tell it's vermont baby look at that beautiful triangle this sucks we're just discussing the shape of states this is bad podcast this is not good triangular state there should be one that's my stance here i agree i don't think any of them are triangles and it would be misleading to say they are i agree now let's look at quora where someone has posted a picture of dave chapelle from the early 2000s saying, really, how stupid are you? Really? And that person, I think,

has a nude photo as their profile picture. Check out memecreator.com. You can put Dave Chappelle in there. Nah, they're good. Well, I can't see it, so what's the point? Get that in the chat. Monty says, what the hell are you smoking? Washington died 51 years

before California became a state. Check into an asylum. Check into an asylum, all caps, by the way. Just show up to an asylum and say, why did George Washington allow California and they'll lock you up. I don't know enough about history. Put me in there.

All right, let's go on to Quinsletown. Okay, now we're talking. This is our movie and celebrity questions. There we go. I got it. You heard this song before? I got it. That's the Hollywood song.

This is our number one most glitterized segment, Quinsletown. And we got some really good ones. remove the james bond question we had oh no i just i maybe i didn't copy it over but i can find it if we should do that one though that was the one we found for devon the only one we found for that one that you found for me and we removed it by accident devon's still winding it up at the plate i don't know where it is i think it got deleted it got removed name a state that's all i need to do here i got you here tell me some more about some states you know batter

I mean Tennessee's long we don't have to do this I have some problems with Rhode Island and Connecticut what's going on over there we don't know this was so important that we found it we just had to take the time to make sure this got done

now Devin this question is does James Bond have to be British no that was an Australian one which one George Lazenby, baby, the second James Bond. That's right.

I watched a documentary about him. You did? Yeah, I did, actually. What happened? He was James Bond for like 20 seconds. Yeah. He did one movie and then dipped, and it was great, and it's ideal. We loved him. We were a huge fan of him on the Kill James Bond podcast, and then

he went on stage in Sydney and said a bunch of old white guy shit. I can't imagine. Uh-oh. We shouldn't have said that We love this guy quite as much as we did. Let me just say, I sign up for everything this man says. Cosign whatever it is. In perpetuity.

He was an actor in 1967, you say? Cosign. Cool. I bet this guy's opinions were great. He's probably cool like Ozzy Osbourne. Brosnan's Irish as well, so really no, I guess, would be the answer to that one. these are all domains of the queen this is true this is true the next james bond could be from

any domain of the queen so canada canada's we're looking at you bond come on looking at you let's get justin bieber in there that's like a an angry like rage bait article from 2006 justin bieber the new james bond who's gonna be the next james bond avril lavigne seth rogan these are all great James Bond. I would love to see a James Bond Seth Rogen chiefing that Chiba while he does it. I mean, what would that be like?

It's James Bond. That's Seth Rogen as James Bond. Nice. Very good. I have to kill you? That's what it would be like. And he does have some movies that do brush into the topic. That's right. I guess, Devin,

on your show, do you find anything quintessentially English in the way James acts? yes in the he is a nonce and um basically a rapist and things like this so it's not great i think there's a core britishness to james bond that unfortunately can't be disentangled um as much as everyone would love to uh i mean the whole empire thing and he's in mi6 for one right or is it five james bond movie is is set in jamaica and this was filmed at a time when jamaica was still like a holding of the crown so this is just it's imperialist from minute one

there's no way he has to be british he has to be british he's definitely killing all those people for a good reason that's the if you're not on board with that you are going to have a poor time as he shoots a guy with metal teeth in his mouth that's his main goal does jaws have metal teeth oh a hundred percent okay thank you i felt like i was crazy i felt like i was being gaslit by the show. I don't know. To not assuming Jaws' metal teeth.

Yeah, he definitely, yeah. What does Cora think on this? The character, James Bond, has to be British. There's a canon backstory about how he was born to Scottish parents

and grew up in Scotland. Quite separately from that, he's an agent with SIS. What's SIS? It's Sudden Infant Syndrome. What the hell is he talking about? It's when you suddenly

have an infant. He's definitely not. I feel like I watched all of these movies quite recently. i would have noticed this uh the mi6 i think i'm pretty sure right i'm pretty sure is mi5 like the fbi for england it's like the national one and then mi6 is the international one that's how it works i'm gonna say 100 yes and let's not check okay yeah i feel 100 yes yeah why not i feel like

it okay do we have anybody being based in here no i'm trying to find angry people um they're all just movie fans it turns out yeah not really going anywhere oh okay that's a shame sorry uh well i feel like we've fully answered the question i think it would be fun to make an american james bond movie where he's just like from kentucky oh okay like he's countryfied yeah he's country james i think they should shake they should experiment yeah the king almost said the The Kingsman did that, but they didn't really. He's pretty damn British in that. They had Channing Tatum.

He's the Kingsman. I mean. Yeah, famously. He does anal. It's in the movie. Yeah, it's a weird movie. It's like POV, you are the penis's head and there's anal. That's how it ends.

Yeah. Okay. Here's another question. If Michael Corleone came out as transgender, would Vito have been supportive? this is interesting from a film from the godfather now Michael is the son yeah

and if he came out as transgender in 1946 yeah and his father is the godfather came out in the 40s famously a 40s film it's about the 50s does it take place in March it's not important

we clearly don't know the movie it's about the past you're right it is the 40s or 50s I'm wrong Well, la-dee-da, Jeremy. You try to shoot me down. I thought you were saying it was a movie that came out in the 40s. As a godfather yourself, trying to protect Michael.

Trying to say Michael can do whatever he wants. He's from a very conservative background. I think Vito would be supportive, right? I think this. I mean, Michael was always the sweetheart of the group anyway. You know, he's sort of a daddy's boy. He's clearly the favorite. Oh, 100%.

I mean, that's why he gets to be the godfather. Am I right? Am I crazy for thinking that? All right, now Jeremy's just playing the Godfather music. If you don't know that, this is... Check out the Godfather. We own the rights to this. Check out the Godfather.

Oh, yeah, we're going to get in trouble for doing that, aren't we? Never mind. Forget I did that. Thank you. But, yeah, Vito loves Michael. I think he'd support whatever's going on over there. Yeah, I think so. Thank you, Cora, for this question.

Honestly, I bet that this would be a good fanfic. Throw this on AO3. Sure. Right? Why not? I bet it's already there. Sonic the Hedgehog you come to my room asking me for a favor

there's gonna be a consequence you come to me on the day of my daughter's gender reassignment ceremony you don't even think to bring me a gift you know I don't know what am I thinking of a gift do you get a gift after gender reassignment I feel like you should right

like it should be like a new pussy ceremony for you does it imply that the gift is the pussy I think that you should get them, like, a very stereotypical gender gift. You know what I mean? Like, if someone's, like, transitioning as, like, a trans man, like, I'd want to get them, like, a real, like, guy thing. Here, I got you a gun. Here, now you can kill yourself like the rest of us. Let's go.

You can go to work with this leather belt. Man, an axe for timber. We're back on timber. Sure, we're back on timber. And, folks, we're back on timber. um teach your trans man how to shave i mean that's always nice and nice sure yeah that's a good one have any of you ever gotten a shave at a proper barber shop sure no you have yeah i think so how was it fine i don't know speak on it what's going on i've never done that i don't know if i

have i feel like i have but i don't remember you would know buddy you would know the answer is no no and maybe great i don't know i dream about it every night it's confusing i'll give you a shave on the podcast one day as a bonus two thousand patrons were shaving jeremy on the pod wait i'm getting shaved the whole thing um all right let's move on to another question there's no answers here i really am dying to read i'm guessing um they're pretty negative honestly about michael and veto uh i think they're a beautiful family that's a shame we gotta change that culture and that's why I'm making the Godfather 4 I think he'd be supportive

you know he's an old man he's at the end of his life you know he knows that the future's gonna be different maybe this is what the difference is you know the head of the mob's gonna be a woman the Godfather fandom is just so toxic it's terrible they just want all the people

to look so hot in it release the coordinator's cut if we cut the Godfather it's way worse now it was fine before It's so hard to have a transpositive reading of The Godfather, but we can do it. We can figure it out. We had to do a lot of, like, dubbing where characters are turned backwards and Vito's just like,

and also, if you were trans, that's fine. I'm cool with it. I think love is love. They massacred Mike Trans. Boy! Mike Trans mask. Boy! Boy!

What a powerful film. now this is kind of a departure from film into the world of music we don't cover this too much except for eminem in the movie venom which we will not be discussing today this next question is is bts part of the illuminati triangles i don't really know anything about bts um well there's a bunch of boys a bunch of boys they sing and they dance they're fooling around they're fooling around is bts still singing i thought they were an army now i think they'd signed up for the army you're allowed to sing in the army yeah every every troop has one guy who sings from what i've seen on tiktok the army

is mostly singing and dancing a coordinated circle um this goes right back into our freemason question are they part of the illuminati somewhat of a theme today is there an illuminati in korea I guess they're, are they global? They must be right. The whole concept. Yeah, man,

there's a, there's a church that's way too close to the president. All this, this is big, big geopolitical news. It definitely happened. And I remember it, but I don't remember any of the details,

but definitely. Yes. One of my big, uh, soap boxes is that the Korean Illuminati is too powerful over the Japanese Illuminati that they need their own space. I like the idea of going to a Illuminati meeting with all of the like, old powerful people and being like have you guys seen bts we gotta get them in here these meetings

are gonna pop because they're all like what 17 right now so like it had to be recent i think they're like they're older now but they were they were like child stars so and that's when you want we gotta get these guys in here they can do private shows for us just we gotta draw a little pentagram in their chest or whatever but like they do pretty much have a private army they're in oh The Illuminati? Yeah, like, no, BTS could probably, like, set off. Yeah, hashtag BTS army. We're not getting in trouble just for saying this.

A violent purge tomorrow, yeah. They'll kick you out of Illuminati if someone's trying to give a speech and you're just, like, yelling over them, just like, yo, Stan Junkuk! We love you! This is T. We're trying to have a meeting.

Shut up about Jimin. We're talking about global politics. We're trying to run the world here. Maybe they were created by the Illuminati. Maybe that's the theory. That the Illuminati was like, we need a boy band on our side. Let's bring Korea's hottest boys together.

Yeah, and, you know... We can sing and dance. Just off the top of our heads, let's all name how many people we think are in BTS. Oh, no. I think like 11 at least. I was going to say seven or eight, but I really don't know.

I'm going to lowball it in case it's like closest without going over. I'll say six. All right. That's smart. That's smart. And that way, if there's three, I get the most money

I think there's money on the line Has anyone ever done Carl Young Kook before? Has that been done? That's good You gotta go back to 2018 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 There's 7 You nailed it bro

I fucking nailed it You knew exactly how many people were in BTS He pretends The comments are going insane right now What is it? Is it J-Hope? I don't even know Oh, wow. They're also known as the Bulletproof Boy Scouts.

I was going to say, also known as the Bangtan Boys. If you try to kill these Boy Scouts, you're in trouble. I did not know that they stood for anything. I kind of just assumed it was behind the scenes. If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything, BTS. True. Too cool for school. Now, the Quora answers.

BTS stands for something. It's Army at the moment, I think. It stands for the South Korean Army. at the moment uh there there's some polarizing responses in the thread we have a strong yes and a strong no i just say i do think that north korea should get in on the korean boy band movement it's you know resource getting rival really hard that'd be dope i have a lot of ideas for north korea and they are not taking my mail at the moment coordinators goes to north korea I have a lot of

tits and stuff. Me too. I could launch their podcast wing. I agree. That's actually the only thing I could do, but I could do a pretty good job at it. I've just been there in the corner. They have a lieutenant from their army. I'm like, just keep vamping. Say anything. Do you think

Kim Jong-un needs clips? You gotta be on social media. You need reels, bro. Off to the side, a big speech. Just into the microphone, just a bit closer kim kim you're too far away you just hear like just him eating all the time stop eating on mike kim that's the problem kim jong-un has awful mic discipline he's never

waiting for anyone to stop talking whom among us he's talking before he's introduced on the podcast it's tragic stuff that's why we need to ship alex into north korea yes i will halo drop Yeah, I was going to say, like, an ODST. I was about to say we want donations for this, but actually, we're already going to do this. Don't worry. This is already set. There is an arrangement with the United States military.

I will be killed before landing, and that will be used as precedent. Now, back to this Quora answer. I'm playing with a Christian baby over in North Korea. Of course your baby is an op. Okay, Angra Haswiti AR says, yes, of course they are. Okay, I'll interrupt you real quick and just remind everyone the question is, is BTS part of the Illuminati?

Thank you, Jeremy. Angra HaSweetieAR, she possibly says, yes, of course they are. First of all, I was in ARMY and I am not proud to say. I have to say this for other ARMYs that I don't know the dark side K-pop world. And so it kind of goes off from there, but strong yes there.

And then we have another answer from Alizanna Nash with an X, and they say my answer is no, because if they are part of the Illuminati, would never feel a pain, hate, and hardship in their life as K-pop idol, and as for their MV, it's just for people who love entertainment.

Wow, that's great. Amen, man. It's a complicated question. That's what I was thinking. They also say, sorry, please, ARMYs, don't take Illuminati as a joke. It is dark. If any ARMYs are seeing this, please get out of K-pop world. They really will destroy you.

Corporal, I've read something quite disturbing. We need to change the Illuminati policy. Yeah. She's got a lot of theories about the K-pop world. I don't know. I think the first one was far too

confident. It makes me think she maybe has some insider information here. Either about BTS or about the Illuminati. Either one. Her source seems to be someone's dream. Okay, that's a good source. If the Illuminati is dark and powerful, I'm not putting

dream manipulation out of the realm of possibility here either. She says, when I was hearing these songs when my father was having a bad feeling about him, he was a presbyter. I didn't listen to him, but I was worried it was something like this, so I started checking Google. Then I saw someone share their experience, and she

said her mother had a dream that BTS member Jungkook's tattoos turning into demons. Then I remember something I also had a dream like jungkook fully turning into a monster but at that i didn't take it seriously but when i saw this i just got remembered and then i started searching all the other k-pop and it really was shocking everything had a dark feeling all groups had a song about the fallen angel and i've had enough so stopped searching those and i really wanted to share this with you guys please armies don't take illuminati as a joke please army don't take illuminati as a joke please armies please

if you have a dream about jungkook's tattoos turning into a monster report it to someone with a lot of guns, if you can. It's clearly symbolic. He's in the Illuminati. This is her only answer. So she has been disappeared. Well, that's a dumb shit. Okay, definitely yes then.

This is what happens if you address armies first thing you do. Okay, let's get the next question going here. We got a lot of great stuff. Hell yeah. This is our religion segment, Corbett and Fruit. Okay. Nope, that's not it.

There we go. That was not a real siren. It's a big day for getting the second time right. It's beautiful. Again, if you're doing the corridor's bingo at home, you will have already ticked that off as well. You may be getting close to bingo, and I do not know what you win.

I don't know. It's probable, actually. A bunch of wet clothes. We're here on the Corbett and Fruit segment. This is all of your religion questions, your questions that are more spiritual than others. Um, now we talk a lot about, um, the different fates here on the show and it's a, it's a charged time to kind of get to the bottom of like your relationship with God.

And so this question come, it springs from that. It says, do Muslims not realize there are pork molecules in everything they eat and drink due to Avogadro's number? Checkmate. Fuck. uh so avogadro's number i i looked it up before this it's kind of just like there's so many molecules that's what it means it's like oh there's a lot of molecules so his number is just all the molecules yeah it is actually i should have fucking it's like all

the molecules in like a uh in a uh of any gas present avogadro's uh constant or whatever it it's the the number of molecules in one square meter of gas is like the molar value of it or something like that yeah do you got the number on you yeah we got it pulled up we know it you got the number oh i definitely don't i'm not even gonna give it a shot it's something to the power it's six and then okay what are we doing zeros or is it times there's a point like seven here okay you know I'll give you most of it. This sucks.

I'll give you most of it. This is good content. I can name states if we want as well. This is good stuff. All right. 6.023 times 10 to the what? We're talking Avogadro's number. Slam that like button.

We'll give you a hint. Jim Carrey's freaking out about this one. It's the number 23. Twice in there. 23. 23. Two times. You see it everywhere.

Boom. It's Avogadro's number. yeah that's right um it's avocados number uh it's fine i guess there's pork and everything because of the avocado number like ultimately it's just nothing's changed then i guess so you just carry on as i guess status quo back to what we were doing before then oh no oh we're all Stardust? Damn it. Shit.

I thought the implication was that there's pork and everything because humans are like long pig. That was what I interpreted the question as originally. Right, yeah. But it's actually way dumber than that. No. Pork's just off-gassing naturally, so it should be fine, I guess. Pork is biting human meat so hard.

It's so cringe how badly they want to be human meat. We get it. You want to be me. We taste way better. We can get super fat if we want. 2,000 patrons, we will eat man. We're going to eat. One of us will be eating live.

One of us. Who will it be? Vote in the comments. I'll read one of these. John says, pork molecules? I'm a straight-A student of biology, and I'm completely confident there's no such thing as a pork molecule. Shut up, nerd. Bitch.

Try the fuck up. Smoke this cigarette. this guy this guy's thing his bio says Japanized American now I don't think this man is Japanese I think he is saying he is a weeb

but in like the weirdest way he looks so white I've spoken Japanese since I was a teenager lived in Japan and on and off for a total of 18 years originally from the United States transplanted to in Los Angeles I go back and forth between LA and Tokyo area of Japan he is a Japanized American so he's pretty Japanized isn't he

what the fuck does that mean well it means he gets us straight a's and do you feel like you're japanized straight a student i'm not wait a minute he's been back and forth to japan for 18 years and he's like a straight a student like did he start going as a child or is this guy like an adult man he's an adult like i got all a's when i was in school by the way he's fully an adult actor astronomer and the best photographer i can afford he's a doogie house of ass they're flying them all around the world when you are when you out of school you're no longer a straight a student yeah i don't tell me your fucking grades man i don't want to hear about it it's ridiculous um anyway yeah he says uh people are mad that people no problem the idea of a pork molecule which i

guess it does make sense that like you could like put something under a microscope and be like that's pork ah the pork cells are multiplying i don't know a molecule even smaller than a cell i'm reading yeah i'm always saying that big episode one of the smallest things that there is it's up there with the atom folks it's crazy how much people are learning do you think you can make a bomb by splitting a pork molecule sorry what were you saying devon no it's just one step above atom and then you're a molecule that's small all right i'm not even thinking about cells here if you if you're an atom you can't even conceive of being a molecule it's so much bigger than you that's right it's a lot like joining the

stonemasons that's how big it is you're in the lodge with presidents pork wise you're part of a collective now it's bigger than a show pork do you want to read one more question in the college episode

yeah let's do let's go on a good one here do the resume one okay this is the quirk place okay this is our work related quora questions we're all cool job owning having people i'm sure job having i don't know here's a question should i put my iq on my resume okay no yes really yes i feel like whatever it is it's gonna be funny to me so 100 put it on that if you're looking for a way to stand out they're gonna remember the person who had their like brain mapped out and sent it to

them my this guy hated in high school had uh his mom had her iq in her email oh like a sign off no like in the address that's good dude yeah yeah i got that in my email sign off just after everyone knows what they're dealing with i got everything i need to know was it like a really high iq um it's pretty high i don't want say it because i think it's still her email okay yeah so what if what if people started i don't need people emailing this woman from my childhood i really don't want it to happen she's wiser than you possibly know you don't have to read out her email just like what was the number you just give us a number give me the full details on it um it was uh 140 that's high that's pretty good i would

I put that in my resume. I'm plotting your downfall from home. I've got a Rubik's Cube I solve absentmindedly while we talk. That's right, yeah. It's floating around her. Several Rubik's Cubes. I'm on Mars and I'm frowning. When I was in the car with her, I think two times she drove the wrong way down a street.

Oh, that's crazy. She was really smart. Kind of an alternative thinker, huh? Yeah. Yeah, do things differently. take the road less traveled and by that i mean take the regular road but backwards in a way that's very dangerous what i like about the answers of this question is it is full of people who have been there before you guys being like don't it feels like a great idea at the time you shouldn't

be doing this i totally get why you want to i made the mistake of mentioning i was a mensa member on a resume for a past job i didn't make the mistake of revealing some of the high scores i found that as a result, management tried to squeeze extra work out of me. So this person's like, they will hire you, and they'll make you do more work. They're going to be working you like a genius dog. That's crazy. I also, I have to mention, the

person who mentioned they were in Mensa on their resume, their name is Eusebius. Eusebius Clay. Come on! Inventor of the C-squared keyboard. That's pretty good. What is that? Well, we all know keyboards. Inventor of the C-squared keyboard?

I don't know what's going on. I don't know what this is. Whatever. This is a great keyboard. You've got to buy one. Buy a keyboard. Check it out. Exciting stuff.

Okay. I'm on the wrong quora. I'm a mess. You'll be seen as an arrogant douchebag no matter how you downplay it. Haha, I had it once, never again. I can't say I found any positive interaction with it whatsoever. You might as well try. This is an insane decision to make.

also this guy has his iq in his quora by because he's not been burned before to be actually quora probably the only place it's a good idea to that's right i was about to say it is the iq number is for your quora page specific there's no way to check it like what's stopping me from just like putting 185 as my iq on a resume jeremy that's pretty smart you may be a iq of 180 maybe i am really smart you can figure out how to game the system like that One question, how do you drive on roads? Me? Yeah, standard.

I find my own way. Okay. Freestyle. I'm going my own way. Take this guy. He's a real asset. I'm a man going my own way. He's a loose cannon.

I just want to call, I did not read any of these comments before I called that they would all be people who did this, and I was 100% sure. Wow, dude. Called your shot, bro. From downtown. Nose Quora. All of these guys are going to have done it. The computer's having a hard time. Yeah, it's not loading anymore.

But needless to say, we are getting too close to the truth. I want to see if there's any that need improvement, because usually those are the best ones. All right, here we go. Let's see. No, all caps. If being a member of a high IQ society is something you are proud of, then you should add it to the personal interest section of your resume.

Alternatively, you could perhaps include it in your cover letter. That's insane. Yeah, just slip it into the cover letter as advice. Yeah. Yeah, just slide that you've got, like, a Mensa membership. and you're a stonemason and you're Neil Illuminati on BTS. I got straight A's in high school and I'm 32 and this is my

I've been in Japan for 18 years I'm Japanized. I'm pretty much Japanized Japanese No, I'm certainly not Japanese at all. Everybody gets confused there Yeah, I just like it

I just like it Anyway, I do need money I am broke This is called moving to Japan You can do that, that's legal It's legal and it's fun You have to invent a word for it I'm worried my son has become Japanized

Maybe that should be our Quora question Nobody comes to Britain and describes themselves Like Anglicized People do call themselves Anglophiles, that's a big thing Bad call I've seen Anglos

It's weird, weird thing to say Don't throw file at the end of that. They're always having fish and chip. They always are. Well, fish and chip, pretty decent. Having an ale. Having a fish and chip. An ale?

Yeah, these are the things they're up to over there. We know everything about the UK. Pies, things like this. Bangs and mash, you know. Of the shepherd's variety. Toad in the hole, things like this. These are all things that they do. Pigs in blankets, but it's sausage wrapped in bacon and stuff.

Oh, that's not how we do it. That's not how we do it over here. Yeah, no, we do it different over here. y'all ain't from around here huh culture is so fascinating there's so many different ones and uh we love to celebrate it here on the coreators program uh let's get our question in and we will wrap this thing up do you have a question you want to ask quora it's hard to choose isn't it i don't know man i kind of want to like really hone in on this japanese thing like anglicized something like that sure i'm worried that my son has become anglicized from watching the crown yes

oh that's good what should i do something like that yeah that's great and that way we can get our son involved people have been catching on by reading my other posts that i seem to have a varied life from all around the world they shouldn't be doing that it's cheating quite frankly answer the question what is my son doing what am i supposed to do about my son She's talking about Diana all the time It was a people's princess Shut up John It's fine

She was in the way Oh he's an anti-Diana She thinks she's so good Well not anymore Six feet deep Camilla seems nice I'm sure she's fine My son keeps calling people cunts

Now that he watches The Crown all the time they gotta stop that alright we're wrapping up the show Devin thank you so much for coming on Quora Raiders the number one show for Quora answers and questions where can our listeners find you at home and abroad well you can go to

x.com the dying website find at Devin underscore on earth and you can listen to Kill James Bond wherever podcasts are found check out X advertisers are she's been on this show before she's a draw folks

people love Abby check out X check out X to Z try tweeting if you haven't done it yet it's great give it a go it's losing its shine a bit I don't know what you mean

check out the doodle while the getting's good I'd say thanks for coming if you're a woman feel free to stick around and watch more Corators I'm glad I brought you here but like because we need to help these boys out. Yes, that's right.

You're welcome here. All are welcome. Yeah, and if you learn something, you're welcome. We're all pork at the end of the day. Yeah, you learn. Avodaga is constant, which is, of course, 6.0 something times 10 to the 23. That's right, 6.023.

There's all kinds of facts. I'm going to do another plug for Theater of Delight Season 6, now on Kickstarter.com until the end of December. you gotta get on there to back another one of these thrilling seasons before the end of December and if you're watching this after that go fuck yourself

disregard what I'm saying here and that's gonna be it for us here at Quarriors and as we say every week question everything bye