Quorators - Street Survival w/ Thomas White

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Can I use dog urine to pass a drug test? If I was your girlfriend or wife, how many kisses would you give me? How do you pretend to be a shy pirate? --- Listen to Thomas on the lovely pendejo time podcast which is also on youtube COME TO OUR LIVE SHOW AUGUST 24th in NYC: https://www.caveat.nyc/events/quorators-8-24-2024 Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

howdy howdy howdy and welcome back to the quarators podcast america's premier quora based podcast it's the quora boys alex and jeremy hello how's it going hello uh we should to say real quick because we forget every single week to say that we have a live show on august 24th in new york city right go to it and this episode comes out in august so those are that's the same month at that point so we should mention it so that you come to it yeah that's a caveat bar and grill please click on the link below and then it appears in the link below what if that happened i'll never use adobe premiere to that extent but could you imagine yeah yeah fair enough um it's a cool 100 degrees outside so we've decided to talk into a microphone for an hour uh we got some great

stuff coming your way but uh an exciting guest as well all the way from the pentejo time podcast uh a new a new new yorker as well we have thomas white in the studio thomas hello hello classic new york voice hello i'm walking here thomas you're probably wondering what's all this then yeah and uh it's quora you ever been on there yeah i've been on there before i've gone like looking for answers i don't think i've ever found on there you know what i mean a pilgrimage yeah is this like uh google will send you to quora as like a friend of a friend knows your answer situation yeah yeah it raises more questions than it provides solutions but that's why we love it it's the questions website this is uh we thought about getting a little experimental for this

episode and doing the entire thing on one space so quora has like essentially subreddits that are they're like groups that focus on one idea but due to the nature of the website they can get a high degree of variance in there, but then only around half of those were funny, so only half are going to be that way, but this week's theme is street survival. You a big streets guy?

Do you know the streets, Thomas? I'm more of a books in terms of smart. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, maybe you can learn a thing or two from this, which you love so damn much. Survival. Maybe it'll feel like the damn library to you. The books won't help you on the streets.

People knock them out of your hands. That's what you're going to do, bud. But I guess if you have enough book smarts, you can read them fast enough. Yeah, if you're like a mage, I suppose. If you're reading a book on how to keep stuff in your hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Hadn't gotten to that part.

I need to adjust my grip there. But before we get into the juicy meat at the center of the podcast, we must start with our delicious appetizer, which is, of course, our recurring advice segment. And this week we are doing advice for men, tips for men. Tips for men! Surprise, do you have any tips for men? Tips for men?

Oh, not at the moment, but, you know, I could think of something. That's only fair. We really went over what was going to happen, and I did not include tips for men. Tips for men. I got one. Aluminum deodorant Oh yeah

Pretty much shoots cancer right into your breasts So go ahead and get one that's been removed of that Okay Yeah, that's men It's actually secondarily to women on that one Or get a bunch of it And then try to see if your body gets all fucked up Or just put it on your boobs

And then you can see directly There you go Nobody gets armpit cancer Yeah You can get boob cancer It goes in the middle but if you have enough you what you're doing is you're applying challenges to your body and that's how you overcome and become stronger yeah just start rubbing it all over yeah do you ever have

were you ever like an axe body spray guy jeremy i had um in middle school my dad got me like tag which i don't think he knew was like the one for like guys looking to fuck that's like the navy's axe body spray is it i don't know it's like i think it's actually i think i'm thinking of jack which is the one with the ad that's got like the like a guy on a beach and like a horde of women attack him is that axe or tag you know what i'm talking about no it really could go one of those has an ad where there's a guy at a beach and he puts on you know axe or whatever and then like women come like over the hills to like have sex with him that sounds terrifying and i'm glad it hasn't happened to me but i i don't know which one i'm reaching in my 2005 tv advertisements uh

a bank in my brain and there's nothing in there and i'm scared you ever spray yourself uh i was so i used to be into the the old spice gels the gel ones where it would leave that like thick residue oh yeah the blue deodorant that sounds scary because i thought it was more like sophisticated than the sprays i was like i'm a gentleman so i'll have the old spice swagger gel and then it would just make it makes your skin like come off oh if you if you put too much of it on so i switched to some other ones after that i thought i was going to be a cool guy but i just sort of smelled like a like laundry and then yeah and then it just makes you have an allergic reaction in my case so i'm allergic to blue gel i don't know what's in there but don't put that on

my body anymore i do hear gel and the first thing i think of is like napalm that's like the same is the first thing you think of yeah it's a gel you shoot fair enough i don't know if anybody's tried lighting old spice on fire i bet it works that's probably true yeah i bet you i bet a hundred percent it works somebody get back to us about that but go ahead and sing it in the comments there uh at the beginning and end of our show we like to ask a quora to engage with the fine people natively on the website and uh i do want to check in with what we wrote last week what was that jeremy uh why aren't there thousands of species of elephants like dogs did we get any answers on Yeah, a lot of people are upset that there are not thousands of species of dogs.

Shut the fuck up. There are. There's a ton of them. I've seen them. How many are there? I don't know. I could tell you hundreds, I guess. This is really nitpicky.

This guy Mitchell says there are not thousands of species of dogs. There are hundreds of breeds of dogs, but they're all in the same species. These breeds were created by human selection. Elephants are well suited to their environment after millions of years of natural selection. Okay, so elephants are already... I'm complaining we said species instead of breeds, which is true. Elephants have done the work, and they're finished. They're fully cooked.

Yeah, that's right. It doesn't get better than that. They've put in the work. Elephants, I think the trunk is a beautiful tool. I like this one guy who says, two isn't enough for you. No, it's not. Obviously. There should be more elephants.

That's what the fucking question was. Were there a lot of listener responses on this? No, I don't think so. There's no scrambled eggs. we always tell people to put scrambled eggs in their answer so that we know that it's from them but we haven't done that in a while no so they may just be forgetting at this point but if you do write in please use scrambled eggs we want to know it's you yeah we don't accidentally flame your ass live on youtube.com for thousands of people this is for your safety um okay let's read

a bunch of quora's from the website fair enough today we're learning about street survival and we're teaching our bookish friend thomas yeah hopefully quora can teach thomas how to survive on the mean streets of new york city so a few of these got sent in but i found most of these by clicking around what is our first street survival these are all on the advanced uh street survival quora.com how can i release the wild animal within me any thoughts on this how you can release the wild animal within you candles scented candles that's a good idea and through scent you could release it that's animalistic to do it through scent um i don't know maybe ax body spray if you get the cancer that's also sense we're really nailing this one element of it um yeah i don't

know wild animal i'm mostly curious to see what random strangers are saying but um i want to see who asked it too i'm gonna try to find it dude we've only addressed answers like this before Well, this is one of our listeners who asked this question. Damn it! Why would they do it? Did you find this just on the website? This one probably got sent in, I would assume. Although maybe I organically found it.

It's a good question either way. We should read the answers, but also don't write a question on Quora and then send it to us for us to make fun of. Because then we can't be held responsible for what happens to you after that. You're basically tricking us. We'll tear you limb from limb live on cam.

Yeah, we're like two roast masters. Um, yeah, we haven't answered this outside of like a fight context before, so this could mean, I mean, in what ways can you turn into an animal? Animorphs? Animorph style? Sexually? Sure, you could turn into a sexual animal. To be the sexual animal?

Um, maybe you're really good at giving a speech? Oh, yeah, like if you go beast mode on a speech. This guy says, there's no need to complicate matters, nor to force any issue. There's nothing really that you need to do. The lion will wake when the time is right. The time is right when it feels welcome. Remember, the lion is you. Oh, okay.

That was my next question. That was the next question. When you become accepting of yourself and others. To be clear, the lion is you. Others are important. There's a lot of distracting pictures on this. Thomas, have you ever felt like you released a wild animal within yourself or no? You know, maybe in like a game of pickup basketball or something like that.

You know what I mean? um you know as i think as a child it's easier to harness a certain animalistic nature you know what i mean and i feel like we lose that to some extent as we get older it's shaped out of us yeah that's for safety um i can't say recently i felt super animalistic um you know maybe um maybe in a gym context you know what i mean you might feel like you know what i mean if you bring it out to yourself and yeah i mainly blame the schools i feel like school one of the first things they do is like take the lion out of these kids we cannot have that flying around you're like the meme of like when they're cutting the

thought bubbles of people's heads but it's a lion it's a lion coming out of the um yeah outside of a gym context or um i guess like in a video game i've become a wild animal sure yeah um but other than that is my life is full of long pauses so a lot of these people are answering a different question which is how can i awaken the lion that is in me so that's why they're all talking about lions okay quora is a bad website they'll just send you to a different question this one guy says enlightenment is always through surrender but surrender is achieved through intelligence only idiots cannot surrender to surrender you need great intelligence to see the point of surrender is the climax of insight

to see the point that you are not separate from existence is the highest that intelligence can give to you. Does that make sense to us all? Yeah. Can we all get that? I think that makes sense. Only idiots cannot surrender? Yeah, pretty much.

It is easy to do. To surrender? I surrender right now. You win. There you go. That's fine. You have to be able to have a white flag. It's hard to obtain, maybe.

No more wild animal. Got it. Hey, I gave up right now. It's over. Yeah, this is more abstract of a question than I had guessed when I put it on the thing. I just don't know how to unlock it in a street sense, I guess. How do you know, friend, that you have a lion inside?

That's a good question. Okay. You might just not have one, and that's from a guy who's a former Buddhist monk. One guy says, get a goal and make a plan. Make a deadline to go for it. Lions are about plans. you set realistic goals you can eventually get the lion out of you start journaling

if you can't morning pages awaken the lion of creative joke writing uh okay let's do a different question then fine i'm done with here's another question in the street survival sub quora uh people push you to your limit but when you finally explode and fight back you are the mean one why have you ever had this happen to you thomas have you ever been pushed to your limit and you explode and fight back it is kind of that seems like the the the context for every like indian tiktok you see where it's like some saga unfold you know what i mean it's like a lady at the store and then like a guy in a mask like pushes her and then they're like there's like a huge strong like handsome guy that comes and rescues her but maybe that's just my

algorithm at the end is he the crazy one yeah i've never seen it's always like there will be like the joker involved and like some guy with another superhero and then like turns out the girl is like evil or something and yeah but you can't really pull a whole lot of lessons from that you know um what was the question again uh the question was people push you to your limits when When you finally explode and fight back, you are the mean one. Why? This is the saga of the Joker, though. Yeah, I think that's kind of what happened.

That's pretty much because society pushed him to his limits because he just has a laughing disorder, and he wants to be on TV, and so he's the bad guy all of a sudden. The question, to be clear, is why. Yeah, the other part's a given. That's just something we know to be true, that people will push you back, and then you finally explode, and you're the mean one.

I guess the answer I would say is they're assholes, man. They don't know what they did to you. They didn't mean to do that. I can read you the beginning of this one. You can subscribe to this guy's profile for $4 a month. And his name is Straight Talking Truths. That's kind of a lot of money for a Quora answer. This is its own sub-Quora.

Yeah, I'm not going to pay money to do it. Well, I mean, you do get as many truths as are in the group. in the group i'll read at the beginning of this this paid answer which is uh because we are humans and we are complicated everyone who has social media may have watched a lot of videos about bullying men women kids adults black white asian latino it doesn't matter the result is basically the same and that's as much as we get for free it even happens to asian people i love it when people like list off races like which ones they include you have to stop eventually yeah like it does apply like all right they didn't say indigenous people so they're actually exempt

they're not included just asians for that one strong boomer behavior this one's also yet to pay to go this one only cost 83 cents a month to join the hidden the dark truth about covert narcissism sub quora okay so now that we're like talking about the paying quoras do you set your own price i don't know i don't know anything about how this website works we've been doing this podcast for like two years i'm enjoying never finding out but i am somewhat curious for just 99 cents a month you can donate to this space as a subscriber okay i don't know all right maybe maybe you apply for a review and they're like wow you are not a two dollar channel you do not have enough truths you cannot learn the dark truth about covert narcissism you're gonna be

costing us money frankly uh i'm trying to see if there's any other answers on this i'm kind of disappointed so far i've learned very little about how to survive in the streets yeah i don't think this is helping me if i get attacked i don't think it'll help me to know why i'm the mean one all of a sudden yeah jeremy is pretty much completely defenseless right now i've never been in a fight i did get punched in the face once in high school but then that doesn't count i logicked my way out of it which is the probably the nerdiest thing you can do as a high school kid is it by bullying by bullying what do you mean like how did you logic your way i was like i'm a nerd so if you fight me everyone's gonna think you're a nerd and they're like oh yeah that's pretty good that's

really and then i um it was yeah it's pretty pretty cool shaking his head on that but i think it's cool you could put that on oh yeah i'm gay that would work though and nowadays if someone hit you they'd be like well i'm not gonna fuck with that legally bulletproof uh i did you see this person ever again or do you have to like change schools or something after that okay it was all fine what did you do nothing nothing happened what did you i know you're to blame for this somehow i don't know it was just he decided he wanted to fight me i don't remember did you steal his girl i stole his girl i was actually mr steal his girl specifically Everyone will know what nerd stole your girl.

Just by knowing all of the chemical compositions. Yeah, that's basically what happened. Sometimes girls do go crazy for that. Yeah. Have you found that to be the case? That like if you're kind of like a whiz kid or whiz adult in this case. Thank you for supporting this explicit YouTube channel. So, yeah, if you have extreme knowledge that you can attract a mate through that,

would you say that is true? I'm sure it is. I don't think I'm in a position where I've been whizzing a whole lot as a grown man. You know what I mean? I think... It's all body for you? Yeah. I think it's just sort of stumbling into situations in my adult life.

But just sort of, I would just say, women in my life making bad decisions. Sure. Wait for them to make the mistake. That's true. You have to be the praying mantis on the leaf. You have to wait for one to land. Uh-oh, game over.

Got your wing. Let's be together all the time for three years. I've just been very tall. That's been my... That's your move? Just to be tall? Or just, I guess, globally tall, but then for American, like, on taller side on average. Sure.

That's like knowing about height, pretty much. You and I both married our high school girlfriends. That's correct. So it's not really, it's really just tricking one person. When do they graduate? I'll take that. Come on. Let's go.

Not that kind of show. We locked them in. I know a lot more than current high schoolers. I know how to rent a car. the older you get it does seem like more clear like why creepy guys did that we're just like you're so smart to a child oh yeah dude totally i can order a pizza i know how to do that i'm not afraid to talk on the phone i have some money i voted hamburgers on me uh yeah total power imbalance there nerf adults now frankly all right let's read another one of

these questions fair enough here's another street smarts question this is a more literal one and i think it's okay it's going to provoke us have you ever had to fight someone in the water now i haven't had to do that have you ever done that thomas uh just for fun not for not out of survival we used to you get those pool noodles and we'd have noodle wars and i remember a few years ago we did that as like adult um me and my siblings did that as like adults but then it um that kind of hurts now yeah you know what i mean it quickly was like i think we're just hitting each other in the pool could just be braxing um but yeah no it's uh one time i accidentally kicked the kid's nose while swimming and it like bled a bunch and stuff but that was

just an accident but i did think of it as sort of an active war at the same time it could have been the beginning of a one-sided fight yeah it's every time that kid like takes a shower i just go in and you're open wait again wait till the shampoo's in his eyes um i used to i played this game with my friend when i was like 12 all the time where we would go in like a four foot deep pool and the game was you had to pin the other person's back to the bottom of the pool which think about is like a classic recipe to drown a bunch of 12 year olds yeah i can't believe no one stopped us from doing that you do it like yeah for like a bunch like for days no one's ever like these kids are underwater a long time

um have you ever had an adult pillow fight because that is similar to the noodles thing where it's like this was fun before but now it's just like a low form of assault adult pillow fight does sound more like you're dating a child though no and again i'm not dating anyone i am married to my wife stop asking i've never had a child bride adult not even a bride anymore really that's right the ceremony is over and there's nothing you can do god saw this game is finished um do we have any navy seals in this question oh that's a great question um uh no okay one guy says i have fought in a spraying beer in county uh country bars and enlisting clubs enlisted clubs while serving in the u.s army okay so that is not even close to

what we said no you just wanted to tell us you had fun in the army yeah he says he's a student of martial arts slash warfare since 1965 this guy's name is thorkel bjork okay now we're getting somewhere and he spends a lot of time on forbidden knowledge which is my favorite subsection where they talk about like how to summon demons and stuff sure yeah um that's not covered in the american army so much but i guess if you were in the nazi army and like an officer oh yeah mysticism and you might you know be deployed to find santa or something that would be really bad for world war ii if the nazis had found and that's the thing listed santa everyone makes so much fun of them now for trying to like uncover the sandman while opening two

fronts of a war but what if one of the ideas worked what if like the sun gun took off and oh no they win everything actually the nazis were yeah well they had like a lot of like magic pursuits yeah no absolutely and none of them were real but what if just one of them were they also wanted to um uh get all the water out of the mediterranean was one of their plans sure and they pulled it off in the alternate history book whatever the fuck that's called the philip k dick book oh for real i think so good for them i can't think of what it's called but they did it the nazis shout out big shout out germany um yeah santa claus would be really good in world in world war ii i think he could deliver

bombs to everyone's house he has high strength we discussed this on the christmas episode pretty extensively um i'm trying to see if there's any other answers here oracle bjork actually a pretty normal profile when we're clicking around not as much fun stuff as you'd think uh okay so this is the uh fighting in water some guy says yes and no my first taekwondo instructor had been in the republic of korea army spoke little english and had quite an imagination he held a training camp at a lake each summer which we were required to do many interesting things one of which was to spar in knee-deep water it forced us to raise our kicking leg high enough to execute kicks with improved body mechanics how is that yes and no that's just yes yes that's just yes i'm the one

guy who fought in water every day they made me do it it was like the korean war for us uh somebody says why do you care owned and destroyed and wrecked and uh you suck that guy's mark shearer director at saber he's also writing in and it says america's gun club above him which yeah that means he's posting it from america's gun i think if you're in a gun club fighting in the water is very much like what you don't got a gun where's your gun sure yeah you know shoot someone in the water yeah what are we playing around with all right do you want to read another question yeah i suppose so i kind of i'm a little disappointed with the street survival okay here's another one i'm a group so far how can a person be considered crazy because they

talk to themselves if you're standing there watching and listening to them talk this seems like a very specific thing that happened to this guy whose name is robert coleman okay sure that's a very normal name have you ever been called crazy thomas for talking to yourself um i not yet um i'm sure i have talked to myself before but i think i mostly have an internal thing going on it's pretty normal to talk to yourself yeah so maybe this guy's not crazy you know what's really crazy is watching someone do it and it's obviously a private exercise yeah you go up and you start shaking him you're crazy you're crazy you're hurting people yeah i guess it depends on what he's talking about very adversarial behavior right there he's from long island and it's

antisocial a lot of crazy people on long island oh sure he's a dance choreographer this guy that's fascinating i can tell everything about this guy's life he's kind of got a crazy life there may be more to this story than we're getting right at the front here uh okay i'll answer i'll be one of these answers here this guy michael ireland says questioner five and gopi my friends you ask a fine question i'm thinking that for many is because there are people standing there watching and listening while they're talking themselves can i ask what questioner five and gopi means i don't know because it came out really quick but i have no idea what that means i'm kind of upset and confused g-o-p-i gopi i don't know sounds like

a name it's a it's an indian philosopher it says i don't know questioner five and go be my friend it's like uh you know how the dosekis guy says to drink responsibly sure yeah it's like a catch phrase it's like the indian version of that it's pretty much indian dosek i won't be explaining any farther the most interesting indian man in the world um the most indian man in the world there's a lot of people competing for that role if that guy exists he's on quora.com and it wouldn't be our right to judge who it is uh there's an answer here from someone named anna murphy who says that it's actually very normal to talk to yourself it's a healthy habit that wards off unsatisfactory silence sounds like something a crazy guy would say it does

kind of sound like that nope normal unsatisfactory silence detected me and women agree it rocks you and this woman anna murphy and we can assume all women as well i think that's probably true yeah you're alone on the train with a woman you're just like i will never hurt anybody that way she knows yeah you're safe yeah you are safe i'm safe with me i'm a gentle giant these are good street survival skills i never kill i never kill my hands are made to create they're all trying to stop me the last time i did see someone talking to themselves on the train he was out loud planning a murder yeah so that guy i would say he's crazy and i that is what i said

at the time did you did you do anything or just leave do anything he's like it seemed very unsafe to do anything he was like he was like kind of he was with somebody but like not really talking to them or he's like when i do what i have to do to that man who knows it's coming and i was like okay it was like the whole train looking at him being like i can't tell if i really have to leave the car or if this will resolve itself and then eventually he did get off but we assumed to go do that shit yeah shout out to him he is the crazy one we were wrong about him he's bad we were on a train together recently where there was kind of a crazy guy and i left the train and you left with me to change cars and then he just went into that car he followed us he's a fan i saw you

i saw you switch cars to escape me yeah that's embarrassing the train train etiquette is difficult thomas you're new to new york have you have you noticed any train subtle intricacies that are maybe on your mind uh trained intricacies um no i uh i don't really i get lost a lot still so that's fine um like i'll get on the right bus but going the wrong way and then i have to get off the next stop and then everybody stares at me um yesterday i was on a bus and there were like three kids doing pull-ups on the the standing bars and they were like almost hitting me with their feet but i just looked at my phone right i was like i'm not gonna like i'm not gonna be that guy you know what i mean hey stop doing pull-ups yeah sure hey hey cut it out kids

not on my watch physical fitness is overrated yeah um no that's actually one of the intricacies you have gotten correct which is that to not talk to the pull-up children yeah because they're looking for trouble yeah they kind of know if you're beat up by a bunch of kids like i gotta move back yeah i mean like you made it three weeks even if it's if it's one kid that beats me up maybe that's a really strong kid but if it's just a bunch of regular kids that beat me up as bad that's just the movie because that's more families involved in the altercation where like you know what i mean like more it's gonna be more widespread and you cannot defend yourself because everyone will point out you're beating up kids.

I would. I think it would be funny in some ways. If I won against a bunch of kids, I would feel good about myself. You don't want to be Cat Williams. Well, he lost. That's the thing. Yeah, that's what I mean. If you win, if I beat up all the pull-up kids in New York,

I think I get to just walk around. I get to wear a robe or something. I get a Boy Scout badge. This is basically the plot of Shogun, the TV show. almost exactly if you beat up the kids it doesn't matter yeah no it's anything would have been better than what happened to cat williams is truly what happened to cat williams i don't know this story you haven't seen this video no it's on video so he's like i i don't know why he's at a high school but he's at a high school and just talking shit and then he's like he's talking shit about the

high school i would have guessed 15 year olds i mean that's not captured on video it's just like someone pulled out a camera when things were clearly escalating with famous comedian cat williams on campus okay and then a kid who looks like he's like 15 just like tackles him to the ground he starts fighting back and then the kid chokes him when was this like 2010 or something like a long time ago he's had time to recuperate his image since then good for cat but it it's been a long road you should try to win yeah you can't just take you know you gotta kick a knee out or something. Yeah, I've heard him a little bit. He's seriously in trouble.

Maybe chop off one of their arms so there's like proof. Yeah, that guy was planning an attack against a subway kid. That's why he was muttering to himself. He swung and they hit my shoulder. I'm just trying to read my book. When you see like when the kids do like

showtime and they're all like dancing and stuff like that, if it was just three kids fighting one adult, that would be a better showtime. I'd give them a dollar. If they flip their shoe up and then, like, hit a guy with it. Absolutely. Absolutely. And then, like, that's the kind of thing in New York, too,

where I wouldn't be surprised if they all, like, turn and bow and, like, we're the fight team. Thanks so much. We're kids and we fight that guy. Press town. Follow us on Instagram. We also do flips. Would you like me to do that?

There's guys who do flips here. I don't know if you've seen them yet. No, I saw a mariachi band going between the cars, though, and carrying their giant instruments. instruments sure yeah yeah it's different the comedic value of the last guy falling in between the trains would be so good then they have to play the song right without the bass player and they have to pretend he's not under there the show must go on yeah he would have wanted us you're like man it could use some harmonica in there like we know i'm amazed i've never seen

anyone fall off the train it must happen it's just it's like guys it's just guys who are super high dressed like Spider-Man and they're just going between the trains all the time. How does this always work out for you? I would die first time I tried it. It seems so easy. There's like a rail or whatever but you're outside of the train.

Anyway, you would be considered crazy if you talked to yourself and that's just how society is. I guess to put a button on that. Yeah. um okay do you want to read more streets from our stuff or do you want to skip to other questions um i would like to do the one answer from dat mental gamer because that is

the one i was looking for this question what's up this is an account who's very active on street survival his name is dat mental gamer i know nothing else about him and i guess my main question is is he british and he's like he's a gamer who's mental or is he like a cerebral gamer he only has six followers on here we know he's a 23 year old straight man so he's probably like the arch nemesis of society his bio says he's single and fresh out of fucks damn it oh he's a youtuber okay so we can we can hear his voice i guess if we can check that out everyone go check out that mental gamer anyway he answered this question have you ever witnessed someone standing up to a bully what happened and he says i saw a guy that did once he was me in the words of obi-wan

now did you like that because that's gonna keep coming up one day during the early hours of morning i would stare down at a dude wondering if he was okay to my disamusement he looks up and retorts by calling me specky i sit there sad and defeated until a true friend said are you gonna take that and right there i looked him in the eye said no and left to get the instigator walked past my homie turned left walked down some stairs into a corridor i don't know he's giving us like a whole map of the place he's in paint a picture there i am being called specky what does that mean also i think it's bespectacled he's bespectacled i see it okay he's like the anime guy who pushes them and they glint in the light yeah yeah four eyes four eyes way better than

specky gotta say specky's not anything specky's kind of nothing um with courage and rage i would push both my arms at the door i was walking at well sorry looking at walk out the corridor and turn left into the open school hallway turn right and there was a crowd of people i walked waited and looked amongst them and then i saw him you might think i punched or kicked him but something far simpler and more straight to the point from watching movies i throttled him and i do not mean homer simpson style i mean anakin skywalker style and then a large picture of anakin skywalker okay an interruption anakin skywalker chokes people with the force so it certainly was not anakin skywalker's unless you are magic which you should say up top yeah i am

magic and i choke people with my mind he's not really grabbing anyone's actual throat while he's doing he's doing this yeah this is signature move as he does this he's picturing a little guy and he's squishing them. This is an insane story. I choked him like this and began to squeeze, letting my hate flow through me. No joke.

No joke. I waited for a while and enjoyed it as much as he did a moment ago. The dude looked me in the eye with total fear and I kept going for a second, wondering if I should just

crush his windpipe and be done with it. But eventually, I let go and walked away. No one did anything and the guy left the school. Either that or I just did not remember him

due to intense anger. my dad would punch me for saying that either he left or i forgot what he looked like and he was a stranger i choked so have i seen a fight no i strangled a guy once for uh calling me glasses i do feel bad making fun of it obviously a child on here but i like that he's a dark child he strangled a guy like anakin skywalker it's true you can't feel bad for him he's chosen the path of darkness yeah like he said it's just like in the movies and he's talking about literally one movie it's just that movie yeah there's not too many scenes in a movie where a guy just like unleashes and chokes you i feel like it's not a very doesn't really hard to choreograph that

where it's you know what i mean it's it's just not visual enough right bro it doesn't look like it's kind of like a lot of the same yeah if we're talking about movies the punching and kicking part that's what you should have done because that's what yeah i see that all the time and i love it i wonder if anybody else watched this happen there's a comment on this from a guy named equilibrium and he says it's kind of autistic but also dark and psychological so i like it i feel the same way it's pretty much exactly that did you press the thing or no okay i thought i hit flawless victory but it really gave up on me What the fuck was that?

Repress it again. Smallest victory. Thank you. That was weird. It does work when you hit it. Well, thank you to Dat Mental Gamer. He's not a child, by the way. He's 23.

He is 23, and he's British, probably. And he chokes people. He's a bad man. And he's mostly known for playing video games 24-7. That's too much. Good that he went on to do great things with his life. Yeah. Real cool, Dat Mental Gamer.

When are you going to make something of yourself? i'm just like i believe in him i'm just pushing him to be the best he could be just just really quick he answered a question recently that was what was said at a funeral you will never forget and he says during my mom's funeral parentheses alcoholism oh no so he is he is british okay so he was a mental gamer i fucking nailed that i did not read any this other stuff his mom's gamertag was de mental alcoholic de booze mom

oh blimey I like that you can tell anyone who's British on Quora they can't get by you being British no on the internet no chance pal can smell it okay you want to read these animal questions yes all right so this is still

street survival but but it expands to the world of the animal kingdom in our unique segment, Quaragon Wild. That's the lion inside. What is the question, Jeremy? Can I use dog urine to pass a drug test? I think you can. I've never done it.

I mean, I guess it depends what the test is. It would have to be, with most of them nowadays, it has to be a certain temperature. Oh, yeah? So you would have to microwave it. Okay. That's good to know. This is for dog urine or just all urine?

All urine. Also, I don't know if it would... I don't know. What happens if you microwave piss? Room smells like piss, I didn't mention. I think it's pretty simple. It's a high-risk room. But if you heat it up too much, they know that it's...

Oh, sure. Yeah, so... Yeah. They're like, you're dying. It has to be, like, body temperature. And they're like, it's only hot in the middle. The sides are really cold. Yeah, it's still frozen.

It doesn't really taste good. Yeah. They're like, this is a baby's pee, you animal. You should have put this in the fucking oven. Yeah. This piss has no experience in it. No way can you work at my store. The great reason to have a baby, though, is that you can use its pee for drug tests.

People do that. This guy says, I don't think so, because my pooch has a mellow buzz on daily. Shut up. No, he doesn't. He would die. they can't digest that at all uh this guy says sort of as far as immediate p test probably if it's lab tested no there's also maybe immediate tests that do flag for the differences in the p why would a lab be better for aren't they all lab tested i don't know there's you can there's

ones where you can just dip it and it tests like almost like a pregnancy test and it tests positive or negative for certain and there's some that are for like a you can do like a five panel or whatever where it's just basic drugs and then it goes to more comprehensive extensive tests to see more stuff you know a lot about this are you a young employer um no no i was on probation for like three and a half years so okay yeah i just had to do like drug tests and p test yeah because in texas like those um you know those like dab pins yeah like insanely illegal there so i had to like do a i had to like have an ankle monitor for a little bit because i had like a supreme dab cart oh my god pretty awesome it's like the worst way to know about these i'm like yeah i like i had the

the stupid like cbd but yeah yeah it's uh so for for lab testing they they can do it more long term and see how certain like levels rise and drop in your blood and stuff so like um yeah they can see like long term and if if the chemical profile doesn't match like how it did last time they can be like that's not your p you know from what i understand but do you know anybody who's gotten past the system yeah so i know um i have i don't know about like swapping your p but i know like beating hair tests i know people have done that but i never like tried i was just like i'm just gonna do it i was like i'm not like yeah i'm just gonna do a regular so i don't have to fucking like you got me yeah but yeah like i knew a guy who would like bleach his hair and then dye it back

to, like, get rid of any, like, chemical stuff. Oh, and the hair. Yeah. That guy loves drugs. Yeah, he would do, like, a skin fade, and then he would grow a goatee, dye it, and dye it black. And then they would trim off his goatee for hair testing. Wow.

And I'm like, dude, why do you care that much about smoking weed? You can't just, like, stop doing that for a little while. I mean, you're going to ruin your hair that way. You're going to kill all the follicles in there. Sure. That's like the... All your goatee follicles. You're going to have a busted goatee.

He's just got mutton chops. Permanently. You're pretty much like Daenerys Targaryen-ing your hair. Sure. It's never going to be normal after that. I feel like the hardest part of the dog pee thing would just be getting the dog pee. I feel like that would not be easy to do.

Not if you have an eager and cooperative dog. Who's like, you got to smoke. You got to just, you collect it in a tub or something. Just put a condom on it. Tie it off. Definitely some form of cruelty. It's just wrong. Your dog has no idea what the hell it's going to do.

You're buying the tiny condoms. You're like, no, it's for my dog. I'm using it for crime. Yeah. My dog has a small dick, all right? It has to fit on soft, all right? This is just so I can do drugs. It's no problem.

I wonder if this person, who this guy is, who's asking this question about using a dog. Oh, we can't see. It's anonymous. Never mind. Smart. You got past the quarators. Step one.

I like the idea of them putting a tester in it that just says, dog urine. Like, why would you test for that? Dog alert. Dog alert. Somebody says in all caps, no, you cannot. Yeah, people are mad about it. People are mad that you would even suggest.

This guy says, no, with five exclamation points. We asked you. Why are you yelling at me? I bet it's way darker also. oh yeah there's no it's got a i mean i've never like collected it obviously but like you see a dog pee and you're like dude you got something else going on you know what i mean you've been drinking too much uh dogs probably get crazy dehydrated too like they probably don't know about the science of it dogs yeah like i once i learned how important water is i'm like always

downing it but before i really would just when i saw water i'd have some and that was it and That's how dogs live. You were basically a dog before you found out about hydration. I pretty much lived like how a dog lives back then. I like this one guy who says, Dumbass, get clean and use your own pee. Shut up. That's from Money Man.

Oh, damn it. Now I lose. He studied cryptocurrencies at entrepreneurship. Oh, shit. It's a good school. How'd you get in? Stay focused. You can get into entrepreneurship.

I started at Hard Knocks University. to do entrepreneurship. I like it when I'll go on Facebook and it'll be like somebody I went to high school with and it's like their job is still like CEO at Krusty Krab. They're like 28.

Wow, they climbed the ladder all the way up the shop. I'm like, did you have two kids? Please quit the Krusty Krab. You're telling me you are Mr. Krab? It's time to go work at the tire shop. Would you like to move on to Quo Romance?

sure okay then i will hit the button so this is our love questions won't you join us down this amorous road okay this question is if i was your girlfriend or wife how many kisses would you give me now jeremy and i are both married thomas if if this quora user was your girlfriend or life how many kisses would you give her uh i have a girlfriend but uh i mean i don't know what this her name is liana it's like on a daily basis or this is like lifetime assuming i start a life with this core user i guess lump sum we're gonna go five to seven oh wow special occasions you know what i mean just in case i don't know what this woman looks

like i don't know if this is a woman or not or i don't know what's going on um i don't know if this is a person of age either sure i mean i have no proof of anything here you gotta be safe you know how much would you kiss them i will probably stop dodging i'm gonna go you know what i'll go maybe one million times okay first answer five to seven second answer it's either or you get five to seven or one million i like the idea of like having like a lifelong partner and being like when we get a house that's one kiss birth of our child that's another kiss. Save them. You're deathbed. You get two.

You set it too high and you have to kiss like a million times a day. If you only did five, they'd really appreciate it when they got one. Sure, yeah. When they got the fifth one. Oh, yeah. I'd be walking on sunshine. You'd use up all five right at the

beginning. You're like, alright. Damn it! Goodbye. I shot my kiss load. Somebody says too many to list separately. Yeah, this guy, Ash. Why would you list them separately? Uh-huh, honey. He says as many as you needed.

All I wanted to give, then plenty of cheeky ones. Ooh, even more than I wanted. Some that make me quite sad. This guy's whole existence on Quora is just he sends women will post pictures of themselves, and he writes beautiful and a heart, which I didn't know existed on Quora. Ally. Ally is spotted. i once saw someone i know like kind of in real life respond to a woman on twitter by saying

welcome to my eyeballs i think about it so often and then he put the um the heart eyes emoji but it was a cat you know the cat ones which i feel like are a hornier emoji it's implying he's a cat he's like a sexually aroused cartoon cat meow meow meow is almost a better thing to write on a stranger's wall then welcome to my eye both i don't know if that person listens to this podcast but if he does i apologize he does clocking your answer from or your your tweet from like five years ago don't say that to people yeah you lunatic um oh i i like this answer this is from carolyn harris and she says uh far more for you because you are a kitten and then a winky face Oh my kitten

That's really fucking weird I don't like the idea I don't like it when people sexualize like cats They're too small You know what I mean It's like that's not a sexy animal No You know what I mean

I don't know what I worded that weirdly I don't know what that is What is like a sexy animal to you People are like oh you're like a fox You know what I mean I'm like that's like You see a fox and you're not

I don't think sexy I think wow that's a Striking animal. Right. You know, you can't call, you wouldn't call somebody a hippo. You know what I mean? Because then it's like, what is, you know, that seems rude. Unless they're dangerous, I suppose.

If somebody called me a hippo, I would think that was kind of cool. Oh, yeah. They're the number one killer of men. Yeah. They're the most dangerous animal towards humans, hippos. Good to know. If you have a hippo in your neighborhood, get it on a registry. Report it.

Do not go near the hippo. Yeah, it's like a compliment. You're like a tanky guy. Yeah. Yeah. He's so strong. I bet a bird cleans your teeth. That happens for crocodiles and hippos.

I stand by it. I push back on the idea of foxes sexy, but a cat is not sexy. They're pretty damn similar. Well, look, I don't, but foxes already, like silver fox, like that's already used as a metaphor, but when you bring like a kitten, that's like a baby too. It's like you're going to kiss a, you're going to make love to a baby cat.

What are you doing? You know what I mean? Do not do that. If you're listening at home, we do not think it's cool. Also, don't do that to a fox either, but you know what I mean. Keep it in the human family when it comes to love. Just say, my beautiful human. Damn, girl, you look human as fuck right now.

We're all just apes. I couldn't tell if this was written in... Girl, you look so good. You look like other girls I've seen. i couldn't tell if it was written like in a cheeky way that she was like i'd give you a bunch if you're my kitten you know like like uh like twisting it yeah but uh it's kind of unclear and uh it's not safe those people who were like i like animals more than people it's like all right you fucking pervert anti-social what if you need to make love

even then still think it's cool to love dogs there's someone here that just says I'd kiss you in five places where are they so that's it

five five five times the fatal star of kiss I like the people who give a specific answer to how many kisses they would give

yeah I like that I like this also this guy William says my wife and I kiss a lot okay yo me too um really good answer on uh one of these um is now this complicates the whole narrative here but it says none just kick your ass a little but you would enjoy it so in response to the to the kiss question i guess this person's gonna beat you up this guy

claims to have an MFA in necrophilia. Oh, this isn't a good guy. I don't approve of this guy. That doesn't sound like a real degree, if I'm being honest. His job is former soldier,

and his bio says, give me some sugar, baby. I don't like this combination of violence and sex. See, how is he even going to, I mean, how is he going to find dead bodies on Quora, you know what I mean?

Yeah, get outside the house. Go into meat space. Well, if he's a soldier, he's a soldier. He could, like, kill his enemies. He could create them. And then, I guess, have sex with them. And that's part of what the army does.

Triple threat. Quora user, soldier, necrophiliac. Ladies, he's got it all. I like this question. I think it's positive. It gets the whole community engaged. Leanda Gomez. She's asked a lot of questions.

Except for that guy who said he was going to beat her up. Everybody was pretty nice about it. Yeah, I didn't like that guy. No, he's a piece of shit. I don't know why he would beat up Leanda. She just wants a kiss. His commanding officer should have him dismissed. What if he was one of the guys that killed Osama bin Laden?

And now he's on Quora being like, I would give you zero kiss. I'd throw you into the Pacific Ocean and no one would know where you went. You think I kissed Osama bin Laden? No. I look nothing like Chris Pratt. That's why they had to put him in the ocean,

to keep him away from this guy from fucking up. Yeah, they are our best killers, but it comes at a price. They're weird. They could break into any house, but at a sharp cost. Okay, we have one more question. Oh, I really like this one. This has been in there for a while. So these are our philosophical questions.

It only has one answer on it. Oh, no, it has two more. And this is going to push us in terms of morality and in terms of our intellect. How do you pretend to be a shy pirate? All right, so this is... It's somebody trying to learn. Sure, yeah.

Someone who wants to be a shy pirate. Arrgh. You gotta lose the confidence a pirate normally has. Ahoy. If you're not busy later, would you walk the plank with me? Ahoy. You've got to watch Thomas on the video to really get the full pirate act.

Carefully stealing from England. I'd say, first thing, take the hat off, tough guy. It'd be funny, they're just sailing alongside the boats, but they keep passing back and forth because they're shy. You can go. I don't know. You can board the vessel. We'll be right back.

Sorry. No, we're going to come back around. It's fine. Somebody took my oar. We're looking for... Booty? He's like saying it. Makes him uncomfortable.

Yeah. I don't think a captain could be shy and still maintain the ship. Yeah, that's kind of a problem, right? You would immediately have a mutiny on your hands. You could be sort of like a popular loner type, though. like i'm still gonna be doing my own shit like y'all can like vibe with it if y'all want but like i think i'm gonna raise the sails if y'all want to help but like it's whatever i'd follow that

pirate yeah that leader yeah it's a battle if you guys are busy it's no problem but i'm gonna i'm gonna raid this ship there's like a big x on this map i thought we might like go check it out if y'all want but i don't care it's cool we could go find a parrot that can talk or something it's probably nothing is stupid but a shy pirate shy pirate ship would probably be full of women because they wouldn't be able to tell them to get off because they're bad luck sure is that a thing that is bad luck for pirates to have women yeah sorry jeremy sailors can't have women on board yeah a woman got on board my pirate ship because she used dog urine for the test so we thought it was just a cool male dog i

thought this was a dog i didn't look it really makes me question my p sample related system for my pirate ship there's one comment here that just says put a patch over both eyes that's not shy really it's a blind pirate that's the only nice try though i respect you jumping in on that that's the only the only answer except for this this guy has a he's like a speech coach i think this is a an ai answer but i could be wrong but it says but it says it's from suito cullen uh speak softly and timidly keep your shoulders slightly hunched wear a pirate hat eye patch occasionally drop in pirate phrases like r or matey in a quiet almost apologetic tone that's what thomas that's what we've been doing so we know we got you and then a second person says put a patch over both eyes

That's the same person. Well, they put it on twice. If asked about your pirate life, create a simple backstory that explains why you might be shy. Perhaps you had a scary encounter with a sea monster or you're new to the pirate crew and still finding your sea legs. I have E.D. In your 40s, it happens.

That's why he's shy. He also has confidence as a man. It's all too common, unfortunately. You wouldn't know. You're a young man. My cat just sneezed and distracted us all. What's his name? His name is Milo.

Milo's never been on camera, so it's kind of like unclear whether he's a running joke to the audience or not. That's okay. He fully rejected you there. No, that's all right. I was expecting it. You know, I've just...

It doesn't even fucking matter. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm sorry about that, man. No, dude, it's fine. I just came here to get disrespected by your cat. I'm just kidding. No, my cats are really shy, too. As long as you don't sexualize them.

My cats wouldn't even sit out there. Really? Well, they have a cat tower. They would probably hide in that. We'll make them apologize when we stop because that's not acceptable for cats. No, it's okay. All right, let's wrap it up here, then.

Do you have a question you want to ask Quora, Thomas, before we call it an episode? Is this along the lines of survival? It can be anything you want. Anything you want to know. You don't have to have a question. We can call it with one. Let's see.

Well, what's the last question you guys asked? We asked something about elephants. Why aren't there more breeds of elephants? Yeah, based on a dog question we had answered. Oh, here's one. Here's one that I think people would enjoy. What kind of spaghetti could a girl eat? That's good.

That's a great question. That's bait. And I look forward to engagement from it. and I won't stop until I have the number one Quora account. So that's going to be in for next week. Thomas, thank you so much for joining us here on the Quora Radio Show. Thank you for having me. This was fun. Yeah, man.

Hey, Milo. How's it going? Is Milo going to appear on camera, kind of? He's kind of here. I'm kind of afraid to do anything in case he moves, but where can our listeners find you at home and abroad? Pendejo Time, the podcast. It's on all listening platforms. We also are on Patreon and free video episodes on YouTube.

Also, Instagram, Twitter, all that. I'm LenoKiller on Twitter with a zero if you want to check that out. And I think that's about it from me. Yeah. If you want more of our show, every Thursday we go on other websites. We go on LinkedIn.com. We go on Reddit.com. Next Door is a popular website where you can find out the hubbub of your neighborhood.

And that's all on Patreon.com slash Quarators. Please check that out. and then again live show august 24th and the details for that are right below the video so what you're too busy to click that well you're too too big it's right there it'll just take two seconds just check that out maybe next time uh and until uh then question everything bye