Quorators - The Hitler Episode 3

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: My 8-year-old sister has a huge crush on Hitler, but doesn't know what he did and who he was. Should I tell her? Was Hitler right that the Holy Lance has magical properties? Why do people deny that Hitler was a Democrat? --- Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

I really like Kyoto because it's like... Or, I mean, Kyoto. Oh, okay. That's the one I mean. I think to contrast from Tokyo, it's like a better sightseeing kind of thing because it's thousands of years old instead of a city that burnt to the ground and then they popped up a super New York. Right.

Tokyo feels like super New York. Yeah. In kind of a cool way. And Kyoto's like Boston. It's thousands of years old. Yeah, Boston. I'm from freaking Kyoto Wicked pisser

That's some wicked miso I'm having cold brew With the daibutsu When you went to Dunkin Donuts You had to eat everything With chopsticks You ever think about that? I think about it every day

You son of a bitch you're listening to quarry tours america's premier quarrel-based con compact content podcast and we're your podcast hosts alex and jeremy and claire wow hello should we take it again or you barbershop rules good just like we practiced this is a big week for the show it is a big week for the show now there are some moments in your life that shape the course of all that comes before you wow and we were talking about japan earlier

and who allied with japan if not hitler episode well done again here he goes again watch that boy ride hitler the last dance now if you're new to listening to the show you may wonder why are there three hitler episodes and that's because one out of every 10 questions on quora the question website are about hitler by the numbers he has the most questions about him yeah and uh president of of quora the chancellor there's a lot questions about kissing girls yeah they overlap a lot yeah narcissists that's right and guns yeah that's that's correct uh hitler can be mashed and mixed up with any of these great how do i styles my hitler how do you kiss him i kiss my hitler stay tuned to find out um now just

to uh kind of uh look back on memory lane here the first hitler episode that's right uh came shortly after our master chief episode i believe that was when we were at cracked and we said we were going to do a hitler episode and they said please do not do that right he said what if we do it on our patreon and they said fine we don't care and then we talked about hitler very loudly they called us lobies and they spit on us yeah that's what happened but uh this episode uh the next episode was just a normal one run of the mill you can see that on the youtube channel it is season three a new beginning it's before uh jeremy's house and of course for season five advent of claire hit it there's gonna be a little different approach to this one i forget was that

from godzilla no that's like a horror movie it's basically the godzilla one there's another Godzilla one hit it Alex I don't know if I deleted it I see why you got confused because it starts from the bottom yeah and now it's here yeah is there anything else we need to cover before we get into before we get into Hitler I mean I'm looking at these questions and I'm already shaking my damn hitler i would like you to approach it with an open mind a mind that maybe embraces hitler when is this uh coming out pre two weeks when is there our next president being 20th the 20th january 20th right this might actually be exactly when that happens i don't have my phone on me but i think it'll be on so today is january 7th tuesday uh yeah we'll be the monday trump's

inaugurated will be hitler's episode well well well just like we planned if hitler could be compared to like some sort of a cheeto product i guess he would be like a bugle oh sure the bugle and chief maybe a new product called mine chomps that's pretty good well that that makes me think of gnome chomp that's uh well that's that's a personal problem mine chops is not associated with Noam Chomsky or any of his affiliates. But, of course, this is season five, so we've developed the show quite a bit. And, of course, we're going to show you the space of the week.

Heinz Kampf. Great point. Let's begin. This is our space of the week. Nope. Space of the week. Okay. So there's a lot of spaces with one user in them.

This is one of the more popular ones. If you just put in Hitler and go by spaces on Quora, this is the space hitlers.quora.com about content and creative writings. And this is apostrophe S, although of course in the URL it is not. It's just hitlers. It makes you wonder in what way.

In what way is it hitlers? Now, this has nothing on it. There's 57 followers. We're at 58 now. There is one pinned post. That's right. There is one. i wish everyone to know about a cryptocurrency that will really some value it's high dollar

i want to know about it and want to want know about it for more information what this video and there's a video after watch this video if you have interest and trust about this crypto please made a sign up and earn the high dollars if you have any problem with this video please avoid it if you want referral code please use this code https colon slash slash high.com slash hitler 91 I've never trusted a link more. I want to click it so bad. I could see you going to click it. It's a YouTube.

Hi.com. You can click. It's YouTube. I have to click the YouTube. Oh, it is YouTube. No, no, that's legal. Isn't that just like a shrunken link? It's a bitly.

Is it? Well, I'm scared now. I hope so. You know, Max can't get viruses. Click the YouTube button. Wait, hold on. Before we do that, I want to say I love Hitler 91 because to me it implies that hitler is like 33 yeah i like that very millennial hitler's a 90s kid some people are just named

hitler and that's gonna come up today yeah hold on i want to make sure that the sound is correct so it doesn't go through our tv i do like that the deep under the details it just says hitler hello welcome to another video with me christian rauchenwald now in today's video i'm gonna show okay this man's name is christian ruchenwald this is unrelated to hitler as far as why is everything named hitler in it well this is for this is a 25 review of high dollar okay is high dollar specifically hitler dollar or is it hawaii dollar no i think it's like a hitler-based bitcoin i think you're right i think you're 100 right how do you make your bitcoin hitler-based wait this is high dollar this is the hawk tour girl is doing this

she looks different um she's much more german doesn't say hitler anywhere in this video but you know what are you gonna do is high dollar somehow like abbreviated to hitler i'm gonna skip to 19 minutes in where it's uh who's behind high dollars all right click this part and we get to the a message from us section now you guys probably don't know those two dudes i also didn't know them but if we scroll down i'm not gonna play this video you can watch it on your own if you're interested you can see that those two are actually stefan rust and sean rach yeah whatever neither of those two are hitler you can see this is made by eva brown now why does christian rachenwald have so much merch he makes a lot of money

Did you not see his He's got mugs How would you want a mug of a crypto reviewer A sort of Bitmoji version Of Christian There's shirts with his face On them if you want to say hey My money is Christian Rauchenwald

Improved People like this it has 58,000 views People are all like thank you for this incredible video Reviewing high dollar Much nicer comments than we get on our YouTube videos I'd like to comment. One of which today was,

I don't know what this is and I'm not laughing. So maybe we should instead transfer over to like a Hitler currency kind of podcast. You know what we could do to just kind of even the score a bit is I'm going to write on his video, I don't know what this is, not laughing. I'm not laughing.

Oh yes, get him back. Hurt people hurt people. Okay, good. Send that to Christian Rockenwald. Multiple people from the Philippines in the comments saying, I'm from the Philippines. How do I get in on Hitler? How do I get in on this Hitler guy?

I love the whole concept. I'm part of the Reich. I want to get in on the ground Reich. Okay. Well, that's the space Hitler's. That's Hitler's. I don't know who created it. Quora user is banned, I guess.

Two upvotes. Two upvotes. Well, now three. It's an entirely crypto-based space. It has zero contributors. Hitler 91. Who's following this? There's 58 followers.

Why are 58 people following hitlers.core? Diego Ruiz. A guy just named Drua is following. Pavel Troiak. Pavel. Knock-off deals 24-7 is following. Jacques Heather. Jacques Heather.

Who lives in the U.S., baby. okay so you're like a money guy and you're looking to get into crypto why are you following the hitler's space black wolf follows hitler's okay hello my name is devin jenkins which is my real name but i like to go by the name of black wolf you almost got away with it too you bastard like art and draw i've been drawing since i was seven which is why i've made a space called drawing by nature so i can meet different artists and share my art i'm also a fanatic a van life van life guys van life living in a van drawing tunes in a van it's van life a lot of questions about a lot of art stuff animation i'm sleeping in a hammock good for

you black wolf you live in selma my name is quote unquote devin jenkins um jeremy before i move on Can you put van life into the search bar in Quora? Sure. There's a million things about that. There's got to be. You've heard of van life before, Alex? No, I haven't. No?

You don't know about van life? Influencers, they get a van and they make it pretty and then they travel around and they're like, I'm living van life. And then people are like, I wish I lived van life. They drop out of society but have really high-tech GoPros and stuff. Vans?

And vans. Yeah. This is what I want to do. Yeah. I want to be in van life. Yeah, it was like a big influencer thing like a few years ago. Whoa! Van life.

Remember that one woman who died? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I assume most of them die. Her boyfriend murdered her, but they were like van life people. Well, that's kind of like the perfect place to do it, is in a van where nobody knows your business. Yeah, and they caught him pretty quick. You cross straight state lines?

How do you get away with crime these days? That's another one of my favorites. It's very hard. It's really hard. You have to not have a phone, basically. Yeah, you can't have a phone. You need to actually go into the past. I would love to have van life.

Really? I don't think I could do it. If I was single, yeah, I would van life. Doesn't van life sound like what Hitler calls life? Van life. Nailed it. Okay. Back to the topic of the episode.

The no toilet part is what gets it for me. Also, a lot of them have really bad taste, so it's sort of that. Wild and free. Okay, so I'm looking at... Wild and mom. Really ugly. We're looking at a picture of a woman who has a cozy little van,

and I'm just thinking, like, you drive around. How is your shit not flying all over the place? That's a really good question. You got to nail it down. There's so much. There's a pineapple just on a table. Like, that's going to go slam through the window. Well, that's swingers.

Pineapple is swingers. That's a real thing. Is it true? I think it's upside down pineapple. Pineapple means upside down pineapple signifies you are a swinger. Yeah. Upside down pineapple. And I feel like the crossover between swingers and van life

has to be fully one-to-one. Yeah, 100%. That's why they need that van to drive to all of their swinging parties. It's called a bang bus, and it should be illegal. Yeah, I'm living the bang bus lifestyle. Legalize it. Legalize it. Oh, baby.

Hashtag legalize the bus. You say it like John Oliver. Legalize van bus. okay well that's been like people banging in a bus all right um no tiffany i don't want to do anal the topic of the day is it's hitler okay um there's no sound effect here's a question my eight-year-old sister has a huge crush on hitler but doesn't know what he did or who he was should i tell her okay big fan of this one first of all great question it implies that you just

have like pictures of hitler around and then your eight-year-old sister is just like great mustache i love this guy i love his style guy rocks his energy is great i want to be his girlfriend and then you have to be like he did the holocaust i've got bad news your fave is problematic he was hitler you can't wear suits like that anymore honestly like me with woody allen when i was 12 well that's the perfect age to date woody allen it's actually in his target demo and you know if i had known at the time not to be a big woody allen defender but not as bad oh totally totally hitler yeah you know you've gone too far not that i'm supporting Woody Allen, but it's just like

not the murder of millions of people. Sure, sure, sure. What makes it worse or different is that Woody Allen's still alive. Yep, right. Hitler, this girl who has a crush on Hitler. He's still making movies. Hitler doesn't live in New York. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I like to think the city is a character. Okay, well, I would like to go to the comments on the Hitler episode. it's great to spend extra time seeing what people are actually saying because it's their questions this guy says i say yes but gently she will indeed find out somewhere in her schooling i think it would be better to hear it from you so you can explain and help her deal with any emotions that may arise from warning the truth it may also save her from ridicule of other kids who know the truth find out about her crush insane answer on the first one up skipping skipping this you want to

skip it i mean we could read it instead of telling her show show her by placing her in an oven and closing the door don't turn it on of course that would be taking things a bit too far good luck with the instruction so that's a bit of a joke but it is quite twisted helpful advice and it has one upvote which means it is so far a net positive to the quora community i think what you do is you get your sister into charlie chaplin if you're like yeah just flip the script give her a nice guy do you mean this guy yeah he's you know he had some other weird shit going on but he wasn't Hitler. I'm pretty sure he was a tramp. Based on gathering

these questions, I don't want my sister with some tramp. I'm pretty sure gathering these questions, Hitler took his mustache from Charlie Chaplin. It must have been. That would actually just bring her closer to her true love. I assume every one of these questions is from a troll, but just for the fun of it, we should read.

Yeah, this is all very Deadpool quoted. Do you think Deadpool wrote all of this? Do you think Deadpool loves Hitler? This question is from StoneDolphin666. six who is banned who asked have you tried your own cum no answers yet i had a friend i think i talked about this on the podcast in high school who asked me that question and then when i said no like made fun of me like i wasn't like you haven't tried your own cum yet right i don't

think that's one of the things that we all do as we age the rights of men growing up in america i think you should at least some point yeah at one point i haven't tried it Yeah, maybe just a little bit to see what it tastes like. So this is a bit of a troll question, but I was having fun with it. It's a troll question. This guy's asking about his fake son and daughter. Yeah, a lot of questions about John Hinckley Jr. Who is out of jail and is a musician.

Is a lovely musician. We should ask him to come on the podcast. Doesn't he live in New York? We could. I think we tried to get him on Poddam before. Oh, what do you do? Well, he has beef with Jake Flores, right? He calls Jake soy.

One of the many people. He says he's sworn off violence except for Jake Flores, who he will kill on sight. It's the exception that proves the rule. What does Sigma mean again? It's like cool. It's a Greek letter, and it's like if you're above Alpha. Okay, so Sigma is cool.

Yeah. I don't know why I thought it was less than Alpha. That's beta. Beta. Beta is less than alpha. Sigma. Sigma is like you're rogue. You're a rogue alpha.

I was going to sort of use sigma in a sentence, and I bailed. The opportunity will arise again. We're talking about Hitler. Someone said, how did she know who he is in the first place? That's a great point. The best theory is the picture sitting around the house.

All right. Well, we got a lot of these questions. Let's move on to the next one. Let's move on. And again, we know that they're probably all trolls, but they're just fun to consider. I don't think all of these are trolls.

The ones that are specific, like I think this one is a genuine question. I think this is real. What's a holy lance? Let's read the question. Was Hitler right that the holy lance has magical properties? The holy lance is a lance that's blessed by a saint.

It says that it's a specific King Arthur lance, right? Yes, of course. I don't know. The holy lance. And a lance is a sword. Isn't it like the one that- No, it's what the knights have. No, that's a sword.

I thought it was like the cone one. Jeremy's right. It's the cone one. When you're jousting. If you're a knight on a noble steed, you have a lance. Let's pull that up, Jamie. Lance a lot did it quite a bit. Yeah, he couldn't stop doing it.

He had a bunch. Frankly, if you can, Lance, you must. We kind of ran into some tech issues here. Sorry, I missed the whole lance a lot riff because I was struggling with the computer, but I want to give it. Jeremy's fighting for his life. Lance. The one that they use for jousting.

You better believe someone stuck that up their medieval ass at some point. Hey, now. Some little freak. It does have a visual similarity to a hand and a half or bastard sword. Now, this holy lance. Yes. The thing about Hitler is the Third Reich in general was obsessed with magic and uncovering magical technology. technology this is a relevant point that this is our third hitler episode and this is the first

one since alex read a book about hitler oh actually i read the book about hitler before the second one and that came up a lot but i am ready to discuss never mind i'm still i kind of remember most of that very long so why was he so into magic is it just that it's cool it's because he's a fucking dumbass who's on speed all the time yeah although i you know what to give credit to people a hundred years ago who had a ton of bad ideas and were wrong about everything is the technological revolution

of the 1800s was probably so jarring that you... They're just like, I don't know. Logically, some magic might be real. You might as well check out

if magic lances actually can defeat Russia. They invent trains and you're like, I don't fucking know anymore. Wow, that's like 10,000 horses. That's how I feel about the internet. Right.

yeah fake news yeah deep fakes magic it's all magic um they spent a lot of time with like the necronomicon and yes this wasn't much in the book it like came up for a little bit they mostly talked about the war if that was a big deal we talked about this a lot last time i read rise and fall of the third reich the book that you see people read on the train with the big swastika on it and you go don't read that yeah that's kind of funny why do they do that and then what you do instead is you get it on an e-reader because it's pretty scandalous. It's pretty fun. Pretty cool.

Anyway, the Holy Lance, I think that he was right. It has magical properties. Anything related to King Arthur is magic. Do you want to read the first extended answer? Read it, Alex. This is by Stephen Phillips, a former educator. Well, the Holy Lance

is a mythological object that features in the tales of King Arthur. It had the power to inspire miracles. There were relics kept about Europe Which were claimed to be the spear that Pierced Christ's side Ouch That's gonna leave a mark

I'm telling my dad But these are almost certainly fakes The real spear that was used To pierce Christ was a weapon that would not have had Any significance or powers over time Of course It would have simply been lost, broken, or discarded Then rotted and rusted over time

Early Christians would have held no value on it Or been in a position to obtain for preservation, even if they could. So it's a mythology, not real. Hitler was attracted to Arthurian myths especially. Percival loved the great Wagnerian works. It isn't likely that it was actually magic. And the answer is that he is on speed all damn day.

Yeah. Do you see the clip of him? Like one of the early videos at the Olympics? I love his clips. Yeah, Hitler clips. I love Hitler's reels. he's on ig i listen to his podcast but i hate when he has uh burt kreischer on you know what it's the 32 olympics and it's that picture of him like rocking back and forth yeah he's like

going like this which i do find myself doing a podcast sometimes i'm just like he was rocking back and forth yeah he's on speed he's on like early adderall and took so much that uh he thought santa was real i was gonna say i used to do that turn the music off i used to do that when i was little but that was i think that was like stimming he's just yeah he's kind of stimming he's he's autistic and uh neurodivergent and queer and queer as well um you know i mean who hasn't done this is the thing look at this i i think it must be sped up a little bit but he's clearly like on speed look at everyone else's face he's on something that's wild that's a that's a guy with a lot of ideas about lances give me the lance give me the lance and garring or whatever

with the fucking um all right well binoculars in the background well uh literature it's very interesting i took a class in it in uh college but it did not make me hitler you took a class on it on Arthurian literature I did yes I had to read the green knight and then they made it a damn movie what do you think of the movie I liked it I was too high and I couldn't follow the first half of it because I was scared but then the second half I came down and then it was pretty cool it was kind of psychedelic it was it was I think like I want to watch it again my wife won't let me because she thought it was boring but um I was too high and I don't know what happened I love the Sword in the stone.

Yeah. How'd that thing get in there? Is that Arthurian? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. He pulls the sword from the stone. I like when they make the teapots and the dishes dance. The wizard makes the dishes dance.

Like, if you have the Holy Lance, so you're like the Third Reich, and you have a magical lance. Sure. What are you doing with that thing? I'm defeating it. You already got guns. You got the first tank. Look at what I've got.

I can poke you from up to six feet away. Take this shit out. You wouldn't want a mythological object, Alex? I mean, I guess just one. You wear gems on your necklace. If I'm in a two-front war, I don't know how many resources I'm expending on magical lance talismans.

You think Hitler was putting out all his crystals on the full moon, letting them charge? Absolutely, I do. That increases positive energy. that's something he got from gypsies that he really liked yes yeah and he was like i actually came up with this yeah he took one thing from each culture he was like i got crystals from you i got latkes from you uh let's go on to the next question oh this is a very good question that i ask myself every day in my life why do people deny that hitler was a democrat okay so i have

not heard anyone say that hitler is a democrat but i think people would deny it because he lived in germany yeah no he was sort of a woke democrat so this is implying like if hitler was american and he had to register to vote that he would clearly go d all the way yeah um he gives a big vote blue no matter who it's kind of how would you know what he'd do you know it's really one of the great mysteries i'd like to see him work it out that's really funny i don't think he was big on voting to begin with honestly yeah i didn't really like voting it's kind of anti but it was one of his main things a lot of these are just pictures of trump donald trump who is president today yeah happy happy birthday to

him there's no way i'm gonna be able to find the question answer the cheeto in chief there's too many too many a lot of engagement on these posts yeah well people get really mad hundreds and hundreds of answers the democrats because they they are democrats themselves i think it's a little bit of both i think it's a lot of meme wars it's a jetson shark situation yeah i like to think that these people with these hitler trump memes have a little file yeah i think so i i absolutely do think that they keep i think people i've never done it jeremy has been scrolling this This whole time, and it's not going anywhere. For those listening, I found it.

The way to find the question answer, you have to go to the question log and scroll through every single answer. This is Joseph Graham, who is making commies cry. He went to my favorite school, making commie cry liberal at St. Paul Lutheran School. St. Paul Lutheran School is your favorite school? Making commie liberals cry.

I mean, that's my favorite major. That's his major. Yeah, sorry. And you can study that anywhere. I thought it was going to be making commie liberals cry school, and I was more excited about it. So Joseph Graham is an active user. But he's from, he went to a public school in India. A Lutheran Indian school.

He actually lives in the school. This is like an old racist riddle. Do you think that this is sort of a troll farm situation? I think this is somebody who has a lot of, I think this is just a Trump guy, honestly. I don't know. I think there are actual sort of troll farms in India or somewhere where they're trying to stir up shit. I don't believe it.

But Quora is so much bigger in India than it is anywhere else. Important question by Joseph Graham here. Why did Eminem turn shit and gay? See? Stirring shit. I love the idea of a big office in India filled with people on computers and they're just like, why did Eminem turn gay? Yes. he killed the slim shady this year um almost all of these are about like how much democrats are bad

a lot of stuff about are we close to full-blown world war three well there was one that was like to sanctimonious it gets mentioned a lot there was one that was very uh casually mentioned it was like a great depression coming up and he's just ready for some hitler based things to happen and uh fingers crossed for him this indian man i like why do liberals smell like farts That's a really good question. That's a really good one. It's probably because they fart so much. Thank you for writing in.

All right, well, that's enough of that guy. Interesting page, and it just shows the kind of users that are all around the web, this great web of ours. I don't want to read any of these answers. A lot of defensiveness happening in the chat. It's just memes. We don't want to have a negativity invited into our space. Almost all of the answers are just like, ha-ha, nice try.

In fact, Hitler would be a Republican. Counter. Uno, reverse. Let's read another question. Objection! What was the name of this guy, parentheses, not a soldier, that was trolling German and Hitler during World War II

and was sent to Auschwitz and he was smiling there and nobody knows if he survived? If I remember, he was some kind of street performer? I'm trying to reconnect with a friend who went to Auschwitz, smiled. What was the name of this guy who kept retweeting everyone during World War II.

I know he was a street performer. Oh, my God. This guy has 100,000 questions. That's a lot of knowledge. He's an AI engineer. That's a lot of questions. And he hasn't asked one in years. Huh.

He probably ran out. He has a lot. Well, he's using it like Google, so I guess it's easy. I probably have 100,000 questions over the last 10 years or something. Because he's just like, what was the name of that guy from the book?

And they're like, no one knows. i have a question like this every day and i just keep it to myself because i'm embarrassed i don't remember people's names yeah and i just don't want it on record and he lives in germany that's cool who was that guy he's like the smiling guy he was like happy but he wasn't uh hitler he killed him uh because he frowned half as little as uh as one would want all right All right, so I'm going to look up World War II smiling guy and just see. You know, we're always looking down on these Quora users for not using Google, but I bet we're not going to get the answer here.

What if there's an answer? Albert Kesselring, it says. Smiling Albert. Oh, of course it's Smiling Albert. He's a German general, though. There's got to be another smiling guy. He wasn't sent to, oh, my God, there's so many ads for war. Well, a lot of the Nazi generals were sent to concentration camps

because there were all kinds of coups and power struggles in the party. But he's not a street performer. He's not a street performer with a smile that melts your heart. I think they're thinking of that movie, The Day the Clown. Oh. Are you thinking of the clown from the movie? The Jerry Lewis movie that never came out about the clown who made the kids in the concentration camp laugh.

His name is Jerry Lewis. That does sound like what he's thinking. Yeah, yeah, that's probably it. The smiling guy. The smiling guy. Smiling guy photo taken during World War I. So it's either Albert Kesselring or Jerry Lewis. Thank you for writing that.

Should we say that? Sure. Who cares? Nah, he doesn't care. He's left the website. Here's a question. This is a great question. What would Adolf Hitler have thought of Diana, Princess of Wales?

I have no idea. Do you think Hitler would have collected beanie babies? Yeah, why not? If he thought they had mythological powers. Yeah. The tiny bear. We must get Merlin's baby. He would have had the Diana one, like I did.

Here is my dog. I've named him Bones. When was she born? How old was she? In 1961, it says. And she died in 1997. Wow, actually, she was a bit older than I had realized. I thought she was younger than that.

I mean, that is young to die. I'm trying to figure out how much after World War II she was born. So, Diana, Princess of Wales, Princess Di, to your average beanie baby lover. Right. What are the facts about her? She was kind of a young lib princess who kind of turned her nose up at the queen. What would Hitler think of that? I think he'd be annoyed.

What would Hitler think of the queen? I think that he wouldn't agree with her, but he'd be so enamored by her personality. She'd be like a manic pixie dream girl to him. He would like her hair color. yeah good god yeah especially if it was blue and he'd be like you're so quirky uh-huh we have an answer here on the page that's just like hitler's low-key kind of gay i don't know that hitler was a man who took much notice of women not to say that he was gay he just appears to have looked at them as being for purely functional purposes i heard he was rumored to be fascinated by greta

garbo and pola negri okay he was even more captivated by wall simpson but wallace simpson did have that it factor to make people notice her. Who the hell is that? You gotta have it. We gotta look up Wallis Simpson to see how hot she is. We gotta get Wallis Simpson on the show. How it? Wallis Simpson, oh my God, what a beaut.

She lived for 100 years. She was an American socialite. Pretty, uh... Oh, I'm sorry, 90 years. Wife of King Edward VIII. Great jaw. Okay, wow. If you're listening in the car,

while driving, Google Wallis Simpson. apparently hitler loved her she was a real it girl um you gotta wonder if uh if maybe some of his gestures towards she met english in 1937 she met hitler i think about this sometimes if you were like wowza if you were just a famous person during the world wars like you would just like meet all of the notorious like yeah historical fake yeah have dinner with them yeah and you could be like i don't know about your camp's ideas hitler she does remain a controversial figure in british history because she probably was a nazi probably kissed hitler this bitch kiss hitler a lot of the royals just straight up are nazis is the thing so i feel like

for that reason he's going to be anti-princess die because she's a woke lib princess yeah maybe you're right so i don't think he'd like her but he probably would really admire her blood and her strong English drive. Well, wasn't she notably not, did not have royal blood, right? Oh, is that? Well, then he definitely doesn't like that. I thought she was a duchess of some.

Maybe she is, I don't remember. Honestly, I could learn a lot more about Princess Di. I could learn a lot more about all British royalty. I've had it up to here about Hitler. I've kind of done learning about him, but Princess Di, we can get in some of that. There was a business about him being in love with his own niece, whatever, dude.

Damn. Classic. she was not his type says carla we've heard a load hitler uh too thoughtful and active and determined also from what i read about hitler he was disenfranchised and rose to power whereas she was part of the established landowner class what what are you talking about he's saying that princess di is a uh hoity toity woman about town and that hitler is like uh up it's an uptown girl situation yeah you know everyone's sharing the uptown girl video this week that's right they are which i've never seen but you know the billy joel song yeah what's wrong with the video have you

seen the video it's shocking that's not why no the reason that it's gone viral is that some woman some young girl tweeted i was in an uber today and the uber driver was was playing the most disturbing scary song and it was freaking me out we all were like in silence and it went viral and then she was like i'll turn over what song was and she was like oh i found it and then posted uptown girl and everyone was like what are you talking about uptown girl girl is like the most played song on the radio of the last 50 years i feel like i hear it all the time horrifying song i've never seen the video though and he's really a downtown man he's a downtown man he's singing into a wrench he's got a barbershop quartet of hard boys who are all smiling at the camera i

don't even think are there any women in that video even yeah there's uptown girls is she in it is Yeah, she's in it and she's living in an uptown world. Well, he's a downtown guy. He's sort of a piano man of sorts. Well, he's not in that song. He's a downtown man. One of those wrench singers.

He sings into a damn wrench. Next question. It's a flight of fancy, but yeah, I guess the answer is no. She's too woke and libbed. She's too woke, libbed, and cool. Her landowning bona fides. I like this answer from John Butters.

First of all, great name. He says, I think, like most people who saw her and her her, he would have been entranced. She certainly carried that Aryan, that sting Aryan look. He admires.

Did he mean like the singer Sting? From the police? She does look like Sting. Oh, this is also a great answer. So that Corey Toro says, he would have considered her large nose too Jewish looking, even though Diana was not Jewish.

Hitler was amazingly ignorant about a great many things. That's big facts coming out of Corey Toro. Oh, baby. oh my god um he says diana would have been absolutely terrified of hitler would have made would make sure to avoid hitler you know what if you're out and you see hitler walk the other way she'd have absolute nightmares at night about hitler i love hitler i understand like as a historical figure he killed a lot of people but he's such a goofy guy to be

having nightmares about i do love the questions about like what would this person think about this person. People who live in two totally different times. Dad, who cares? Do you think there are people having nightmares about Donald Trump? Yes. At night? Like when Donald Trump comes to their house and beats them up or whatever? Absolutely. What is that like? I like this guy's answer also.

Stanley says, well, since he was so evil, I think he would have tried to kill her. It's a good guess, Stanley. Wait, can we click on Stanley? We sure can. Stanley's a boss. He's like an old man who took a blurry photo.

where he looks like completely orange and he mostly just lists things about world war ii he's like an old world war ii historian on uh fucking quora but he doesn't seem to know anything he just kind of like he was evil oh my god would you believe stanley's a little racist oh no questions are why are all the black youths killing other black youths okay he just wants to know that's his one of two questions or the other one is how are some of these people getting on here? Is it because they want to get a rise out of people, or are they just plain stupid?

Stanley, we're asking ourselves the same question. Stanley, I'd love to know. We've done hundreds of episodes asking the same thing, Stanley. Alright, well, I'm going to move off of Stanley. You know, it's a risk clicking on people. I did want to look at one of the other ones,

but we should probably just move on. I just wish people could see his little picture. They sure can on YouTube. They sure can on YouTube.com Matt Quaragers. Slash Quaragers. And on Patreon.com slash Quaragers, where sometimes the audio comes out a day early. John Butters, but he has no questions.

He's had a few posts, but... John Butters. John Butters. He is British, I believe, right? With a name like that. Slam the button, Alex. He's an Anglo first. Anglo spotted.

He's answering a lot of questions about Brexit. And he says, people say, what about British people think about this? And he says, we. So, I mean, that means he's British. There's no way this man isn't British. He's coming at it from the other side as a Princess Di. Yes, that's right.

He's needed in the chest. She would have been entranced. It would have made her toss up her crumpet. Okay. Were Hitler's facial proportions indicative of a man of low testosterone or high testosterone? Now this is a perfect Quora question because it combines the communities of Hitler enthusiasts And skull measurer, guys. Sort of race science, but neutral on Hitler.

So we have a top answer from Veronica Thomas, and this is from nine years ago. Oh, yeah, this actually is the one. It's pretty much the same question. It is redirected from a different one. I guess two people have asked almost the same question about Hitler's face proportions. Veronica says,

skulls have various features which determine them as male. Some male skulls don't have them fully developed, or just some are present or developed. Instructor's own forensic outreach. That's a hyperlink. I personally can't say if it depends on testosterone or not. It's also unknown if Hitler's skull was examined for them in detail once levels of testosterone usually aren't visible on skull,

their foreface. Jesus. What a great paragraph. The above-mentioned approach fails with Asian and Native American skulls. Thank you, Veronica. Thank you, Veronica. I'd love to just say you're wrong, but I've spent no time looking into skulls

and whether they are indicative of testosterone. Janice says, while i'm no expert on the matter he does not have a weak jawline and his large forehead and receding hairline point to relatively high testosterone but again it is not an educated opinion it's a lot of women shooting from the hip and then says for those who wish to raise testosterone levels naturally without taking pills you can check the secret tips i've got good results with it within two weeks following that report i feel so much more positive along with my spouse also keeps telling me how good i look and feel so this is an ad i know weightlifting

This is like someone who is selling testosterone pills and is just looking for anywhere to plug them and is answering questions about Hitler. It's without taking pills, Jeremy. It's a secret solution. Another answer from John St. Dominic. He had a mustache, which suggests that his testosterone levels were at least normal.

Well, it was a little mustache. That's true. Maybe he could only grow the middle. Yeah, so he had medium testosterone. Hello, Milo. don't get Claire sick with your dander Milo the cat is here

he had Alexa Rose says he had a typical caucasoid face Alexa tell me search Hitler's caucasoid features

Alexa play caucasoid face he was a brave and tough guy so that shows plenty of testosterone every race has its own facial features

oh god What if when you talk to your Amazon clock, this is what it said? This is the same fucking... For those people who want to raise testosterone levels naturally without taking pills, you can check this secret tips. It even says this secret tips again. It's the same verbiage. It's the exact same paragraph. Oh, my God.

It goes all the way to Alexa. Amazon is selling these. Is Syrian on this? And here's another one. This is by Walnibal. Yeah, for those who would wish to boost testosterone levels quickly. So this person didn't even bother to answer the question. We're trying to find out about Hitler, not testosterone pills.

Now, people have asked this question about both Bill Clinton and George W. Bush and Napoleon. Powerful men. They want to know what powerful men's heads look like. But without taking pills because they hate pills. Yeah. Stalin, Winston Churchill, JFK, Ronald Reagan, Ted Kaczynski. This is actually AI. This is like an AI thing.

Or somebody's job. Helmut Schmidt. I think this is a very curious man. Very interesting. I don't think this is... This is not AI. You guys ever get your T tested? No, I don't think so.

High T, low T? I'm going bald. I've got to have probably higher T. I think you have pretty high T. I had my B tested. And by B, I mean blood. What did it say? They didn't tell me I was low in anything.

I think that would come up, right? I don't know. It's blood. By the way, you're a little girl. Let me comb your hair, you pretty girl. girl, they'd say. I guess they would say that. Then they'd give me a lolly.

What is this lolly? Sorry, I was looking at this guy's profile who asked the question about Hitler, and he's asked so many questions, it's not even really worth looking at his profile. Is Schrodinger's kind of a stochastic parrot? Yes. Duh.

What's a stochastic parrot? I don't know. Should I look it up? Who cares? We could look it up. Yep, I think you should. I think we have to now. I hope it's something really fucked up. A metaphor to describe the theory that large language models, though, are able to generate plausible language, do not understand the meaning of the language they process.

Oh, that's interesting. That seems true, right? Like, A, if you're talking to ChatGPT, he doesn't know what it's talking about. Okay. But why would Schrodinger's cat be that? I don't know. The fact that they said that kind of sounds like a stochastic parrot, doesn't it? Maybe you're right.

Maybe this guy's AI. He also asked if autistic people are stochastic parrots. There's a lot of Quora. Which I thought was a bit much. That's a bit rude. If you're going to be rude, bug off. A bit rude. That's a bit much.

Quora is not about being rude. No, it's not. Bug off. Let's do another question about Hitler, please. It is Hitler episode time. We have three to go. This is my favorite of the day. This is really good.

Who is Adobe Hitler? Alexa this is another fun one of just like I'm thinking of the name and I've almost got it but I know this isn't it but who is Adobe Hitler there's no answer on this Cora did

make him capitalize yeah Adobe one question saying he's never asked another question i've definitely been on websites where i've like put one thing in and then i'm like i blew it on here i can't come back anymore everybody knows i think his name was adobe hitler i'm writing i don't know they call me adobe hitler over there from when i asked who it was i'm gonna do my

former uss ad america jeremy is uh interacting with the teen who posted this well he's not a teen anymore it's true he was he's a big strong man and a handsome man if he was a teen when the question was asked now he's uh in his 20s he's he's got a family and he knows all about adobe hitler adobe hitler is the the great new product uh it's a sort of a race editing software yeah yeah it kind of leads you in one direction it helps you organize one group of people i really recommend getting adobe hitler pro um it's only 20 a month which honestly is like a lot but it's worth it yeah you have to use its industry standard anyway that's that question how did you find that somebody sent it in that's great did you ask for hitler questions alex yeah

a few days ago um i was like i know what i'm doing this week and i need to line these up all right here's a question who would win 1944 nazi germany world war ii or master chief and 20 Spartan 2's Halo video games. Master Chief and 20 Spartan 2's fights off Adolf Hitler and the Wehrmacht pre-Ardennes offenses. Okay. So, this

is before that. So, I don't want to hear it after they're too exhausted from the Ardennes. Okay. I do know Spartan 2's are the good Spartans, right? Right. Now, Claire, we did a whole Halo episode where Jeremy knows all about Halo

and I don't know anything. I do know all about hitler and i know all about hitler so we switch off that's good um and we just did an hour of just like could master chief defeat batman could master chief defeat a velociraptor could master chief defeat a gorilla i bet people really liked that the only one he couldn't beat it sounds like was samus but could 20 spartans defeat the entire wehrmacht spartan twos how big is the wehrmacht It's millions of people. It's probably not then. Well, the question is, it's an entire World War II army versus 20 future guys.

I'll tell you this much. The fucking Spartan Threes certainly couldn't. Come on. These fools. Take it easy on me. The answer to this, initially, I'm like, oh, good. This person is smart. And then they continue to answer it.

This is from Sin Shadow Fox. What kind of a question is that? One is a super soldier from a space-faring technological advanced race. And the other is a World War II era military. It may not be exactly like describing fighting people with sticks and stones with guns, but it's kind of like that. There's only 20 of them, though. Flawless victory.

I think Sin Shadow Fox is right. I think the Halo armor is probably just immune to the kind of weapons they have. For sure. Technology. I don't think a Tommy gun would do much. It would take a long time. I've never played Halo. I don't know what it looks like.

It's mostly just killing Hitler over and over again. You know what Master Chief looks like? He's this big green guy. You ever seen something like this? You ever seen a cool guy like that before? He's a Spartan too. No one knows what he looks like. He was abducted as a child and they elongated his body

and they put him in an armor. Yeah, he has even more strength than a gorilla. They elongated him. Yeah. Okay. He didn't used to be that long, Claire. They put stuff in his bones. Why did they do that to him?

You know how short men will have their legs broken to be six feet tall? They did that to Master Chief. Why'd they stretch out my boy? Why'd they stretch him out? The answer to this is so that he could defeat the Flood. What's the Flood? It's basically the Wehrmacht.

Can I see a trailer for Halo 2? You really want to see a trailer for Halo? I think this is one of the videos people owe money for. These are one faction of aliens that you fight in Halo. They're like zombie guys. The Covenant's cooler.

You'd like them more. Yeah, pull up The Covenant. Is this like a scary video game or is this just like future war? It's pretty scary. I wasn't allowed to play it when it came out. Aliens look really scary. They fucking rule.

Jerry's allowed to play it and look, he's ruined. It was such a good game. I'm surprised they haven't made a movie. They have. They tried. And they made a TV show. They did make a TV show.

The guy who wanted to make the movie ended up making District 9 instead. Oh, I love that movie. Which does rule. wow what if he made Halo instead that could have been based well I mean he never made a good movie again unfortunately what else did he do

Neil Blumpkin he did um yeah he did Chappie he did Elysium yeah Chappie sucked he did uh I don't remember what else Elysium his name isn't Neil Blumpkin

it is Neil Blumpkin Blumpkin is when you get blown on the toilet Neil Blumpkin That's his name. I refuse to call him anything else. On here, we respect Neil Blomkamp. He made Gran Turismo, the movie based on a game. Oh, in District 10.

A famous Bower director. Alicia. District 10's not out yet, so he's going back to the well. He did the Gran Turismo movie. Yeah, whichever he wants to do. He loves video game. Based on a true story. That movie looked bad.

Did anybody in the world see this? I don't like racing Orlando Bloom was in it What happened to that guy He's giving Blumpkins to Blomkamp I don't know what happened to him On to the next question The answer is Master Chief

How long have we been doing this We've been doing it for 56 minutes But we started recording early There's so much Hitler This is the last question we have. If you keep it up, we're going to have to do even more. This is a really good question. This is the final one.

What would happen if Hitler got the black Spider-Man suit? It would read my lips. He's in the black Spider-Man suit. There's a very easy answer to this. I'm going to answer it. I'm going to be the first person to answer it. He would turn good. Is that what happens with the black Spider-Man suit?

No, it turns you evil. But Hitler is evil. On opposite day. Yeah. Think about it. Use your brain for once. Is Black Spider-Man suit the one from something I don't know about? Or is it Venom's symbiote suit?

Yeah, but it's the Black Spider-Man. Black Spider-Man is not Venom? No. But it's the same goop that turns Venom into Venom. It's pretty confusing, huh? Goop. It's because there's a symbiote. The suit is goop.

It's an evil suit. It's Black Spider-Man. It's when Spider-Man has a black suit. It is not when Spider-Man is a black person that's Miles Morales. I did, admittedly. That's what I thought it was. No, it's this version. Spider-Man 3 style, goop.

Yes, goop suit, Spider-Man. The thing is, okay, so Hitler is given a symbiotic goop, and now his hands can become axes, and he bites off people's heads at the 7-Eleven. Yeah. How does that affect the internal politics of Spider-Man? I do think he probably does win World War II in that case if he gets the black suit.

Well, if he's going out on the front lines. And he becomes emo. And he does a little dance. And he points at people. I got to rewatch Spider-Man 3. It seems really fun. They're all great. I remember it being a lot of...

I remember people being really mad about it when it came out. Me being like, I had a great time. It's fun. It's not as good as the other ones, but it's still fun. Is that still directed by...

What's his name? Raimi. Sam Raimi. Raimi. The second one's so fun. The Raim band. I love him. Me too.

I love that guy. I love that guy, and I hate Hitler. these are the two people i have opinions about uh but so yeah i'm just thinking like even if he goes and wears the suit the nazi army is mostly defeated by just like opening too many fronts right because they'd sucker punch france and they take europe and they pretty much have western europe locked down and then they just go into russia and extend their supply lines really far and then everyone dies in the cold and i don't see how you fix that by having venom involved well it's not like you

didn't have enough tanks it wouldn't be venom it would be black suit spider-man it's like you're not even listening hitler hitler hitler i just i also don't think hitler would have the natural poison dexterity to do many of hit uh venom or spider-man's feats and to swing around from building to building which is very hard and requires incredible dexterity and uh intelligence do you think it's interesting that the guy who asked this question hates kevin hart i do think that's interesting i don't know what this is a response to but he said to someone's question is that bitch ass kevin hart fuck him and his advice what did kevin hart do to you i really don't know now kevin hart is a billionaire and it's probable that he's probably screwed over

a lot of innocent people it seems like this was posted to nobody in particular he just posted about bitch ass he doesn't like kevin hart he thinks he's a bitch well he's responding to business lessons online he's asked a bunch of questions how do i explain to my animals that i'm gay um i guess just probably have gay sex in front of them yeah that'll do it that's the one thing they understand um but they don't have to understand that he's mostly just yelling at people sounds like bullshit someone said i don't know yeah he's so we found a rude man on quora is what we're saying yeah he's very rude essentially this is a guy who the hitler guy could learn a thing or two from princess diana who is the classy princess who is gunned down by the paparazzi

in cold blood he says if i farted on some uranium when my fart become radioactive what's the answer there's one answer on it let's find out i think does anybody want to guess the one answer is does anyone have a flux capacitor i can buy i was trying to reach my the timeline where we had mars colonies and flying cars and i have no idea what i did wrong but the sooner i get out of this one the better okay so this is a user kind of taking down the stupid fart question i'm gonna comment on this guy grow up tell him shut up kevin hart he's not gonna understand what you're saying i don't care it's also three years ago i think if you farted on um on uh uranium and it would become radioactive i saw a question on the side there that said if everyone farted

at the same time in the world, would the world explode? That is a good question. I like to think yes, it would. Because it's so much methane, gas. Gas is, I mean, it's not going to explode. If someone's lighting a cigarette at the same time.

Even if it happened all at once. Okay, so if everyone farted at once. One answer here, only if someone lit a match right after. Which at some point in the world, someone would be lighting a match. I think we should do it. I think this is going to be my version

of when someone's like, if the whole world got high, It would be world peace. But if the whole world farted at the same time and we let it match. You guys got to grow up. There's way too much atmosphere for the whole world to blow up. That's what Joker Folliadoo should have been about. It's him trying to get everybody to fart at the same time to explode the world.

Maybe if we all pass gas, the world will pass fast. Not sing a damn song. I don't know why I got these farts. Folks, that's been Hitler episode three. I hope you learned a lot today. This episode has aged Claire's life by five years. And that's for you, the consumer. We need Alex to have that baby already.

It's coming out any day now. If you would like to support our show, we do not have any advertisements. We are entirely funded by viewers like you. Please go to patreon.com slash Quarators. There are bonus episodes every Thursday, and you can get them. Anything else? You can get them. You can get them.

Peace. What we're saying is you can have them and you can get them. Bye. Finish the fight.