Quorators - The Hitler Episode: Part 2 w/ David Tveite

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Was Hitler openly gay? If so, does that mean that all gay people are Nazis? Did Hitler meditate? If so, did it help a little? Did Adolf Hitler have Rizz? (this is Part 2 because we did a similar episode a few months ago on patreon. check out that one too!) ----- Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ http://patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators Follow David on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/killtveite

Yeah, I hear it in here. Say something. Oh! Yeah, it's there. Okay. Could you say, oh, David? Oh! Yeah, it's working.

That's how we test it. That's 100%, one shot, one kill. One shot, one kill. The Quarriors promise this podcast will kill. Okay, well, I'm going to slam the button. It is the Quarators season three, a new beginning. We're the Quarators podcast. I'm Alex, and this is Jeremy.

Yo, what's up, dog? What's up, dog? We got a hell of a treat for you this week, dog. I hope you're ready to open your jaw. Let's hear you bark. I hope you're ready to crunch down on a bone Because we got a hell of a one for you this week This is the Hitler episode number two

And when you think Hitler There's probably one name coming to your mind And that is comedian David Twight David, welcome to the show I'm David, I'm your bone Take a crunch Remember when your big catchphrase was Twight Power? It was Twight Privilege for a while

That was my Twitter handle for a while, yeah. He didn't even know that. He was just having a laugh. I just riffed it. He was having a laugh like he was a nurse at an English hospital looking at all the lionesses. Yeah, my fans call themselves the Twight Power Movement, and I've been trying to get them to stop,

but they don't respect me. No, they've militarized. They kind of do their own thing now. This does lean into the first segment that we've created here in season three, which is, of course, in an effort to attract new listeners, Tips for Men. Tips for Men! This may seem like a right-wing podcast as we discuss Tips for Men and Hitler.

Oh, an important announcement before we get into the Tips for Men. This is Hitler episode two. If you would like to watch the first episode where we go on Quora and put the word Hitler in and read for a full hour. Yes, quietly because the crack office is probably mad at us. Because at the time we had not yet been fired from crack. And we were asked, please do not do the Hitler episode on our main feed. Yeah, we have to have notes for you guys.

Don't mention Hitler anymore at my work. Don't post on the internet that you're focusing on him this week. Anyway, that's behind the paywall, patreon.com. So go listen to that one. Fired for truth. We're fired for the truth about Hitler. Now to focus back on tips for men. Every week we try to get these out.

There are so many young men. There's so many little ones. More than ever before. So many little guys. New ones every day. That's right. Popping out the mama's pouch. That's right.

And I usually have a tip for them, and I got a backup on. But, David, do you have anything you'd like to say to young men before we start here? Just keep doing what you're doing. Okay. Keep rocking. I like how you have your mic sideways like you're holding a gun. Cool. I'm doing a Kimbo.

With the microphone. Hey, I'm Daniel Radcliffe. Hey, I'm Daniel Radcliffe. Remember that movie, Guns Akimbo? Nope. That's not what we're talking about right now. Do not remember that. Tip for men!

The tip for men this week is when you shave, you got to go against the grain. You got to go... You can go down on the grain or up off the grain, but you can't go sideways because that's where you get into trouble. That's our tip for men of the week. Have you found that to be true?

I guess. I don't really think about it that much, I almost never shave for real. I do electric every time. Oh, for real, for real. Oh, you went with a real razor. I thought you were just being a cool guy. I never shave for real.

Oh, yeah, dude. Just keep that beard growing, and it stays right there. No cap, I rarely shave. No cap. That's ice cold. I got it, because my facial hair is really bad if I let it come in. Yeah, I tried last year and there are a lot of Quarrior's clips of that and it just

didn't pan out. Mine like grows in the shape of a goatee. What are you missing? So I get like a shitty mustache and then like the little Van Dyke or whatever and then just patches in the middle of my cheeks.

That's kind of what I got. And the whole thing, real greasy. Yeah. Well, speaking of shitty mustache, It actually reminds me of the Fuhrer of Imperial Germany, Adolf Hitler, for today's Hitler episode two. But before we get into that- But first, we have to read our question from last week, because every episode we write

a question on Quora and we read the responses. So last week we asked, can you die from a cat? Right. Which was inspired by Kyle Harris being allergic to my cat. Yes. And in the room with it for an hour. And he is now dead. i do think even though kyle is alive and well and applauds us in our future works

that you can die from a cat and that anybody who got my tiger died from a cat and that many people have been allergic and died on a podcast um yeah it's really died from a big cat those guys will get you okay uh cat's freaking out right now yeah ignore him yeah he's going wild he thinks that he can ruin the hitler episode he thinks he can de-platform us he's afraid of what we'll say about his favorite guy he thinks he can stop our movement of annexing austria um but yeah that's how houdini died though a lot of people think it was from getting punched in the stomach and it was from a cat yeah it's just by smelling a cat and being a cat that would be honestly a far less strange way to die than challenging a man to punch you with the stomach and him uh a one punch manning

you to death and you die and you throw up your heart well so apparently like i i don't remember where i read this but like the story like the popular version of that story is that just like a guy like just got him like good yeah i think it's like the north star kind of just like hole through the but no like what really happened was like he did have this challenge where he's like my muscles are so strong that you can't hurt me by punching me in the stomach but he was like lying on a couch and a guy came up and hit him repeatedly in like the dick and balls and stuff damn son that's a terrible way to go like the whole situation just wailed on him repeatedly hey you know what the thing is though as it's happening you gotta be like i never should have

had the punch me challenge yeah that doesn't need to be part of my magic act but what if it worked What if he got up and was just like, ta-da. Yeah, that's fine. I just got punched in the dick and balls 50 times. Actually, it was cool. I've seen many animes where that is the attraction, but in real life, it's pretty tough to pull off. Hentai, Alex.

No, it's different than that, and we won't be talking about that today. Today is Hitler episode two. Should we skip all these answers and just say, yes, you can die from a cat? Are there any good ones? Most people are just posting pictures of tigers. Oh, okay, that's what I said. One person said, yes. Ever heard of this?

I have heard of them. Someone said, yes, a feline, a bum, and a specific kind of sporting acknowledgement. Say these syllables, cat-ass-trophy. You're welcome. What are you trying to say to me right now? Astrophy? I don't know.

What are you trying to say? I know you're trying to say that word, but what are you trying to say to me? That was from Jack Arthurs. Oh, quick reminder, if you're going to answer our post, you must use the words scrambled eggs, and that way we know you are part of the show. Well, you're one of the dogs.

Dumb ass. You're one of the dogs. dogs that's what we call our fans now the dogs bark bark bark bark bark the hounds are out well let's return to deutschland again in our signature series hitler episode two i don't know if we could do a third i think we could there's a lot about this guy online the issue i'm having they like him i put the word hitler in there and there's so much content that I'm not going to be sure when I repeat myself. On Corridors?

No, on Quora. You're not the problem. They're the problem. We're just curating. We're the solution. What sorts of questions are you getting? I guess we're going to find out. They're good questions. If you're behind the paywall, David, you know.

Hitler, Y slash N. That is it. That's actually what it is. One of the ones we covered in the first one was just like, why are people mad at him if so no are people mad at hitler if so why all right are people mad at him yes but we can't discuss that now as we have already covered that that like the way that that's phrased sort of suggests that they like met him and then found out later like that he was really

not well liked it's like i don't know he was always nice to me he's pretty cool yeah he's one of the guys in the scene for sure uh and that will come up with the questions we've compiled today jeremy that is kind of how doing comedy is you see a guy at a show and he's like pretty funny and you're like yeah i saw that guy and everyone's like he's hitler oh yeah that was next poland you literally just tweeted i'm hitler he took czechoslovakia from under chamberlain's nose um okay here's our first question about hitler was hitler openly gay if so does that mean that all gay people are nazis uh-huh honey now i have not heard this hitler was openly gay he famously had a girlfriend he did yeah he's the anders lee of his time

i'm trying to go broadband good bit for the audience yeah i want to list people i've worked with only the dogs all know alex's friend anders lee who has a girlfriend that's all i meant um but at the same time so hitler if he was gay it would have to be on the down low i believe yeah because of how much he claimed to crave the pussy and be a dirty dog for it yeah but if you think that he did play that way what way would he play why are you the riddler i'm trying to push us push us as a show how how do you think hitler is gay in what ways would hitler be gay if he secretly was gay the whole time i don't i don't know i mean were there any he wasn't he he had a girlfriend he loved his dog you're so triggered this is what i know about

him so triggered yeah but if he was gay i picture him like um kissing a guy yeah i think the same thing he'd be a goblin up he would be like one of those types he'd be one of those guys who's just like with a boyfriend sure yeah that would be what it was like um what was the follow-up on after is if so does that mean all gay people are nazis oh i don't think so well again it's a mood it's a moot point because he was not openly gay but if so then yes it would mean that we're kind of starting off on the wrong gay Hitler wise. Sort of invalidated the premise of that

second question, but yeah, it would mean that. So it's very fortunate that he was not. Dodged a bullet there. It would be funny if Hitler was openly gay. He'd be like, how are you gay knowing Hitler was? Come on, man. Do better.

I'm having fun imagining Hitler picking up chicks on the town and doing this move. I'm going in Sarah. now if you are just listening to this podcast like 90 of listeners what i did was slick my hair back a little bit licked his fingers and slicked his hair back but in the in the mode of hitler it's a little tip for men that you can do that do not be like hitler oh the guy who made this question is named jeremy whoa now we know that's not you because you use my

quark that's true so you're safe this time um but yeah i'm glad we got that one out of the way what do we got next uh sure should we read any of these or these comments or just just people saying no oh okay well do they have any good points um i don't know napoleon bonaparte was mailed does that mean all men are egotistical maniacs who want to conquer most of their nation's neighbors i mean if we're just using napoleon and hitler as references yeah then they go this is julia caesar was white does that mean all white people will be stabbed 27 times and bleed out after they betrayed their best friends but then jeffrey epstein was rich does that mean all rich people make islands where they sell children to celebrities that last one yes kind

of right now you're convincing me you're establishing patterns and he goes barack obama was president does that mean all black people were president how long is okay yeah they have a lot are these all separate responses or is this one guy okay he has several more that's one dollar i think that i think we get the point i think all black people i think you need to hear a few more of these every time i meet a black person that's the kind of racist i am i think that all black people are the president you probably think you're pretty good because you're the leader of the free world talking to some guy in traffic i think a good chunk of americans are currently the president yeah roughly uh 20 percent i don't know how the

legal system works exactly um i like this one someone says you have a factual error hitler was catholic what i said by openly gay you meant catholic i don't even understand where it could be characterized as a christian a conservative christian by the standards of the time no way he would have been openly gay you know we did that catholic episode two weeks ago and i felt like i was really struggling to find catholic stuff and now it just keeps coming up on the other ones and i'm getting kind of pissed off a little bit uh okay let's read another question okay why is it that when questions come up about hitler being jewish it always gets swept under the rug yeah little john

is that true who's okay it's hard to say because it's the people are trying to hide this information i do think i would sweep it under the rug if i heard i probably would too i just can't really think of any situations where that has come up i would say something like scratch that is there a thing i i feel like maybe i've heard that that he was like that he had like a jewish great-grandparent or something like that but who's sweeping it under the rug is that like I think it's also just not true Well that's why I think it's swept under the rug Is because it's factually

People are always trying to like pin new crimes On Hitler He was also Jewish which makes him a hypocrite Yeah right It's like yeah I guess And he wasn't very nice to his mother either In addition to all that murder and stuff The one they always do is that he has a poop fetish

Or whatever Did you know he had a poop fetish I actually didn't know that one Someone made it up because they're like Hitler hasn't done enough. Stop trying to make up stuff about Hitler. Trying to find out if he's gay. I get that it sounds like I have a poop fetish

and I'm mad that I'm associated with Hitler. Well, if so, does that mean everyone with a poop fetish is a Nazi? It might be. I hate these rules. Who else loves rules? Just a bunch of people making Venn diagrams about Hitler in their homes. It does seem to be. i think the internet has like somewhat actually tamped down on this brand of conspiracy of like

a guy who learns like one thing about history and then just starts rapping you know just seeing what we can cook up in the lab yeah i hear he was jewish and there's just like documents and public records of like we know who his whole family is i don't see how it would be yeah mostly we're just saying he just wasn't jewish yeah there's appears to be a groiper on that page um yeah it's a troll i'm looking akimbo here i'm somewhat daniel radcliffe about it no you can't say that i'm shooting with both hands um yeah i don't know oh because the post is a troll one guy says it's not swept under the rug it was it never was swept under the rug there is no quote question which i think is a little suspicious to say like that there is a question

i heard it it was hit if there's no question you guys are in deep shit with this podcast I feel that way much of the time, David. And Hitler himself had a question about the Jews. He did. It was, what are we going to do with these guys? It's really all in the tone and how you say it. Sure, yeah. And he did say it like Jerry Seinfeld.

He did famously say it like that. I'm like, I don't know. What TV shows are they going to watch? Hitler loved Seinfeld. He would have. It was his favorite show. We have to keep reading these questions. He was more of a Kramer guy, I think.

He watched it for Kramer. He is delightfully strange. He just liked him because of his crowd work. I think he liked the show. Crowd work is one of the pillars of comedy. Famous crowd work clip at the Laugh Factory. He kind of pioneered that. Hitler did love factories.

Sure. I'd give you that. He's big on industry. Seizing it with both hands. yeah the the laugh factory famously colluded with the northrop grumman laugh factory volkswagen and the laugh factory those early audiences were all captured jews i wonder how they got all these laughs for so cheap yeah exactly they took them out of my mouth

it's the hitler episode i don't know why cracked didn't want david begged us to do this we're firing on all cylinders we wanted to do an episode about bowling hey what said no what do bear pharmaceuticals and this chain of comedy clubs have in common uh i have another question for us yeah i think we gotta just move on did hitler meditate if so did it help a little this is my favorite one out of the other the new ones i found this is my favorite who knows it would have been how world war ii would have gone had hitler not meditated i gotta say it just like didn't help enough no right it could have helped more than it did yeah if you just

like thought about a little more like if this was the improved scenario did he just like get england the other time like what happened really good comment marcus get old says help with what i mean that is a that is my first question as well did they follow up with them no this was nine years ago there's probably a core user just like who are you talking about yeah no marcus is a popular guy he's got a hundred thousand followers on quora yo he's a quora plus subscriber that's equally as good if not better than the core raiders podcast yeah he posted something 58 minutes ago. How many followers do we have now, Jeremy? Let's pull that up.

It's an embarrassing number. Let's just compare apples to apples here. Do you want to take a guess? How many followers do you think we have on Quora? 15. 275. 101. I have 101? I haven't been trying at all. It's just been unhinged things.

I've been told I've been blocked and muted at least that number of times. You're the CEO of Guilf of the Week. That's true. I'm still CEO of Guilf of the Week. And I'm a former transsexual? No, we got rid of that one. Okay, that was too controversial. Yeah.

It was relevant at the time, David. Okay. I'm not one of the bad guys. Watch the live episode. It makes sense. Okay, did Hitler meditate? Back to the question. I haven't heard anything about this, and I'm shocked.

To me, that doesn't seem like something that he would have been into. I think that he would have considered that to be from like a degenerate culture or something like that. Yeah, I don't think that he really got it. I mean, I guess like he was like super into like the occult and stuff like that. Yeah, if he thought he could become Dhalsim, then I think he would lean into it. God, yeah. If he had had stretchy arms, imagine how good that salute would have looked. Thank goodness Hitler did not achieve a yoga flame.

europe would have seen some dark days yeah and did yeah i think if you if you look into it there was a pretty rough times there not to whitewash the events and one and one well i don't think you can blame him for one no he was in it yeah he was he had a cameo yeah he he was part of it it's like when you see dane cook and mystery men it is kind of like what it is the waffler going crispy that guy did history and who's the Janine Garofalo of World War I I wonder

she's like one of the main characters right so Kaiser Alexander he's kind of Woodrow Wilson or something the blue Raja I think it would be cool to

meet Woodrow Wilson in like a Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure situation and be like, you're the Janine Garofalo of World War I. And he's very confused because alternative comedy hadn't been invented yet. Oh yeah, it's before it's time. That was FDR who brought that in.

During one of his fireside chats he kept doing bits that would start out resembling a normal comedy bit, but then he kept pushing it to a more absurd place. For this part of the chat, I'm going to leave the radio on silent for seven minutes. And a lot of people didn't get it, but the ones who did

were really inspired. I will now be giving an announcement with my good friend Kristen Schaal. He invented Kristen Schaal as a horse. I think she's a horse. The fireside chat where he just complains about the Star Wars prequel for 20 minutes is like, what are you doing?

We have nothing to fear but fear itself and not being able to get tickets to my show at Largo at the Cornhead. That's sad, but it's what it was like. And now, Paul F. Tompkins. Did he actually... I feel like what we think of as the accent people had back then was just bad audio equipment, right?

I think he talked more or less normal. We just think that he sounded insane. He talked like cool Jeremy from earlier. For real, for real. The voice is the same, you're saying. The voice quality is just the content of his voice. He uses different slang. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, alternatively, it's just like, so, I'm president. Yo, what's up, dog? Hey, things are not looking good at Pearl Harbor right now. Honestly, I'm like a little scared tonight. There's no television yet. It's just this. It's just families listening to this. Yeah, he's kind of the original podcaster.

I'll say it. I want to talk about my ex-wife. Come see Day of Infamy at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. That does sound like one of their shows. Did Hitler meditate? What are the answers for this? Is it just people being mad? It's just the guy saying help with what?

Which, again, if you can't establish that, then I don't really know where else you go with this question. But if so, did it help a little? Did it help a little? I'm so into typing out a question and someone just typing a response that's just, what? I mean, that's why he's got 100,000 followers on there because of this sort of trenchant insight.

It's all about output. I'm going to reply. I'm going to say, this is from nine years ago, but I'm going to say, that's what I want to know. Oh, yeah. If we can become moofos with Marcus.

This could be big. This could be really big for the podcast. I'm going to follow Marcus. Marcus, third chair. We got to get Marcus on the pod. I approve of everything Marcus has ever posted. He will block you if you message him about cryptocurrency,

and he will block you if you message him saying, hello, handsome. What? I'm so sick of that. Stop flirting with Marcus. And trying to sell him crypto. Yeah.

Quora really is a thieves den of swingers. If you got Bitcoin or you think I'm hot, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear about that. I'm here to tell people I don't know what they're talking about. Is he on Quora Plus? Is Marcus on Quora Plus? Yeah, he's a subscriber. Good for you.

Good for you. He's a Shakespearean director, computer programmer, teacher, writer, and likes dinosaurs. Renaissance man. Yeah, crazy. likes dinosaurs is a real that that adds a lot at the end there yeah he is 14 he's 14 i'm kidding oh no he's not okay let's do another hitler question please this is um another unanswered question now i want to know how he felt about dinosaurs hitler yeah it would be interesting to know i have the godzilla noise would that help he'd probably want to bring him back if he could

It couldn't hurt. I will utilize the Triceratops. Slam the Godzilla noise. All right. That's enough. That is not Godzilla. Everyone shut up. Everyone shut up.

Godzilla comes out of the ocean. We got to change colors on that because it's the same color as that's enough. Anyway, that's what he'd do with the dinosaurs. What an interesting art form this is. I think it's really good. Okay, I have a question for you. It really fills a car ride. How should Hitler be regarded?

Like a criminal or a psychic? The two types of people. Oh, there's one answer. Sorry, it's collapsed because it needs more... I regard him as an athlete, first and foremost. The only answer is he should be regarded as a tyrant. I really thought it would be another one going, what? His account was banned, unfortunately.

I can't imagine why. I feel like psychic sounds really stupid, but it was intended to sound very shocking. I feel like they probably meant psycho. Oh. I don't know. Yeah. See, I thought it would be like a Nazi being like, he knew there would be Jews later. Sure.

Psychic. He can bend spoons. Yeah, I think that if he was psychic, there's probably a lot of stuff that he would have done differently. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he would have done feats of magic to impress his followers. Operation Barbarossa. Yeah, right.

He probably could have done a magic one instead. I think we're all operating under different assumptions of what a psychic is. I'm picturing Alakazam from the hit show Pokemon. Okay. That's kind of what I'm picturing as well. That's why I go to for psychic is Alakazam, the fictional creature. Two spoons.

Yeah, it's like basically Raisin Bran up in that shit. He can do whatever he wants. He floats just above the ground. He turns purple. This is Trump talking about Alakazam. No, it's not. This is me. This is all Alex.

I want you to know that motherfucker turns purple. Two spoons, more spoons than anyone you've ever seen. Twice as many spoons. Twice as many spoons. He used to be an Abra. I knew him when he was an Abra. He evolved. They traded him.

They said, you're not good enough. We got to trade you. That's how he evolved. I know we end up just doing Trump every week, but it's the most fun voice to do. It's so fun, yeah. I imagine that listening to it's very painful, and that's the payoff I receive. But I am laughing. I enjoy doing it.

It is fun. I'm laughing again. Kazam only has one spoon. Is that correct? I don't know. Abra, Kadabra. Kadabra has one spoon. Alakazam, two spoons.

Abra, no spoons! Abra just eating with his hands like a fucking freak. Sleepy Abra. Alakazam has two spoons. They call him Sleepy Abra. He always uses rest. Kadabra has one spoon. We're all saying the same thing, and it has nothing to do with Hitler.

I feel like we've lost the plot. Mega Alakazam. Do you want to know how many spoons Mega Alec has? Is that a confirmation name? This motherfucker has five spoons, Alex. That's too many. What are you eating? An entire souffle for the whole football team?

So he's like really powerful in like the chronic illness community. He never runs out of spoons. No. That's how you know someone's running magic. He can do up to five things over the course of a day. He can eat five flavors of ice cream at once. He can do five times the heroin. Sure.

Putting him back to sleep. That's the main difference now because they have an Abra. Abra can just do it. Sorry, what was the question? How should Hitler be regarded? A criminal or a psychic? Well, he broke no laws. Is there such a thing as a criminal psychic?

Other than war crimes? He broke the laws of statescraft. The laws of God himself. The guy who said tyrant is not wrong. I just think that's like a lame word it's just like it doesn't to me it doesn't really convey the like the breadth like just

anytime you hear someone complain about tyranny it's never like I think it's based it's never like on the scale of like genocide people are like oh this is this is tyranny it sounds like you broke the rules yeah right he did the wrong rules

tyrant always makes me think of like there's more sales tax on this item than I would be exactly like like tyranny is just like that's a word that's used by like the type of person who like brags about how they carry around a pocket constitution or whatever like i get it out and read it sometimes it's like do you that's fucking stupid man new word for when you burn down the reich stock right just to seize control with your iron fist i don't it's just like i don't know even even dictator like still conveys it better to me like tyrant is just like i don't know

it's a childish word to me it's like hearing someone killed millions of people and being like I didn't vote for that yeah it's like well that's not really the issue

you know what word I don't appreciate is tied to Hitler so much is iron will other people should get iron will who? I think Michael Phelps

has an iron will sure he would retreat in some strategic situations unlike Hitler Michael Phelps yeah my favorite fact about Hitler

is after he started winning all of the like first few battles of the war he thought he was like a genius and his one move was just never allowing anyone to retreat from anywhere. And it was like 50-50 if that turned out to be good or not.

This is like classic boss shit. We do not let them disrespect us. I've never really considered like that Hitler was someone's shitty boss. He was Germany's shitty boss. He was the whole country's shitty boss and he wanted to be the shitty

boss of the entire world. And now he's mostly on Quora. But just some like super high of nazi just being like hitler's being such a fucking idiot about this war he fired all these people for nothing i guess there is the concept of the small business tyrant and so we've sort of worked backwards to that again where it's like it's like a small business tyrant but without a small business for genocide um yeah but uh to my final word on this i don't think he's a psychic okay yeah you couldn't read people's minds or the future he definitely couldn't no he didn't even succeed he did such a bad job if he could maybe had he meditated a little

more oh yeah and then it is similar to the meditation one i'm glad we put these two together maybe if he found the ark of the covenant he really put all of the all of his eggs in the like finding santa's tools basket right yeah uh to win world war ii using like magical elves and That is funny to imagine it as Santa Claus. It makes it a little funnier. We're just like, if we get to the North Pole, we get his bag, we can transport infinite guns. I think it was a no wrong rules in a...

Sure, no wrong ideas in brainstorms. No bad ideas in brainstorm. That would be a good Hellboy sequel, I think. Sure. Get Santa in there. Santa's tool. It is cool that the God of the Jews was sitting it out and then they touched his special box

And he was like, no way. That's mine. This is where I draw the line, motherfucker. I'm neurodivergent for my boss. Do you play Minecraft? Let's hear another one of these questions. I realize this is a callback to the... Yeah, I was like, why did you just make him autistic?

That was like, I feel like I missed a step here. i feel like neurodivergent people have a special box this is because we made the crucial mistake of recording our bonus episode that comes out days from this one before um okay here's a question hitler and his german nazis are now in hell suffering torment and extreme pain i can see this i am psychic and the fortune teller do you think they will ever be freed from that i cannot see the end of their hell okay why are you asking me it seems like you have way more information on this than i do i like that they're the fortune teller i'm gonna go ahead and say that i cannot see an end to the hell are you the fortune teller oh i'm just some fuck i'm some run-of-the-mill

fuck from down the street same kelly uaru who's a veteran says anonymous thank you for your psychic posting fake questions is how he gets his kicks it's sad but what to do okay this is the army's psychic spotter division i guess the mind hunters should i say thank you for your service kelly um no okay then i won't good i'm scared of kelly i'm glad that our brave men and women are out there protecting us from people getting kicks i guess yeah this is uh there must be a real issue with fake psychics on here sure who are claiming to know how long hitler will be in hell i cannot see an end to it yeah i mean either but again it's like why are you asking like are you just hoping you'll run across the person who has the other half of that information

it kind of has the verbiage of like a slack discussion of just like hey does anybody see the end of i can't see it but uh i haven't restarted it or anything um there's a good answer here from barry weir who says um yes they will be freed ish to purgatory i think this answer is very weird. When one thinks of eternal timescales, a mere century is virtually nothing.

Example, Hugo Chavez has arrived as has Fidel Castro. What? They're like nobodies on the hell stage as they've murdered mere tens of thousands.

It sounds like they're getting a team together down there. We're here live on the hell stage. It's a showcase. We just got Hugo Chavez.

He's on the bottom row. We got a great lineup tonight. There's more he says. He says, with Pol Pot, Mao, Stalin, and their associates,

the place has to be starting to get out of hand. The Nazis are shamed by their accomplishments. There was the day when the great Khan would hold sway. Gone. Chairman of New Arrivals Lyndon Johnson is going to have to make some statistical choices. What is... I mean, listen, he did a lot of very bad things,

but Lyndon Johnson really catching a stray here. He's basically our pole. There are a lot of war criminals who have held office in the United States. It's weird to single him out, I think. He's no one in the hell stage. I think if you're on the hell stage for a while, you should get veterans-y for that.

Genghis Khan should have some. If you put in the work. He has accomplishments out there. You're grinding out there in hell. This just feels like when someone's putting together their ultimate band. They're like, Jimi Hendrix on guitar, John Bonham on the drums, or whatever. Lyndon B. Johnson.

He's playing keyboard. Lead vocals. LBJ on the mic, And then we got... It's all presidents. Andrew Jackson, tickling the ivories. All black people singing. I think all black people are the president.

I don't know a lot of musicians. I think mostly presidents could be in the band. I know who I'm voting for this year. It's four more years of all black people. All black people. I'd be fine with it. Are there a lot of answers on this one? No.

Someone says... And what evidence do you have to prove you can see this and aren't just delusional or making it up or on drugs? Okay, in their defense on this one, what evidence do you want? Like, what kind of submission could they do? I have a picture. I can't see. I drew it, though. It's very vivid.

I got a boy from a horror movie to draw it. It's mostly black crayon. Poison horror movies love drawing stuff with black crayon. They love to approximate the circles of a demon. Sure. Also, why are you so mad that someone's saying that Hitler's in hell? Why does that make you upset? Oh, yeah, that is a good point.

Oh, yeah, you think he's in hell? Prove it. Prove it, troll. Wow. Hitler's so dear to so many people. He's no Hugo Chavez. Oh, this is weird. Interesting.

It would be a great... Interesting photo on this one right away. There would be a great argument to use against a Nazi, though. It would be like, well, if Hitler was so great, how come he's in hell? Ooh. Oh, and then the Nazi would be like, I never thought of that. I cannot see an end to his suffering. First of all, I didn't know he was in hell, but thank you for letting me know.

I assume that is correct, because why would you lie to me? And second of all, that's really upsetting to me. Third of all, how's he doing on the hell stage? And who's he with? Is he at least mid-card? Here's a question. Who would win a fistfight between Churchill and Hitler in both World War I and World War II? See, I like this one because it's made for a podcast.

Yeah. this is a strange in the context outside of a podcast this is like you know that spike tv show i forget what it's called no though where they're like where they're like who would win a roman centurion or a united states warrior yeah that's it or an ira member or whatever yeah that was funny that they put ira a teenager who made a bomb out of his car some irish guy yeah or the spartan legion uh anyway the question of course is churchill and hitler no weapons world war one and world war two so what do we know about churchill yeah what are these guys's stats what's the tale of the tape on this didn't churchill do like drink so much alcohol it's

like yeah he shouldn't be alive he also like used a cane to get around i think right well does he get to include the cane in the fight is that during world war two yeah that's world war two We'll factor them for World War II. Did he fight in World War I? I guess I don't really know them. I think he was a general in World War I. All I know about Winston Churchill is all the boomer quotes that are misattributed to him or whatever. Oh, yeah.

If it came to a rhyme off, I think he'd win. Yeah, yeah. Sure. But in terms of all the fisted cuffs? So Hitler's like 20 in World War I, right? Yeah. The comments are going to be so fucking bad after this one. This is a thing that people know better than their families.

Yeah. And we're like, who is Churchill? I think he's in a band with LBJ. Winston is his name? That's dumb. What I like about this is it is the system of a down song of why don't presidents fight the war. Sure, that's true. Now to be answered in long form.

Yeah. I'm always saying we need to wake up. You wanted to. I'm going to excuse that and move back to our intellectual discussion. They're trying to build a prison. Neither of them are in very good shape. So your question is, do you believe in, like, the big man? Sure.

Or that shorty with the dog? Okay, yeah, there you go. So Churchill's a tank class. Yeah, he has a lot of health points. He's a heavy. He's big and he's slow. He's got strong attacks. I think of, like, in terms of if you're looking at any street fight

and it's just a big guy and a small guy and you can assume both of them are not very good at fighting, you should regularly just put your money on the big guy because falling on people and being big is a really good move well i know that like like hitler was like a war hero in the first world war i think i think that was like how he started his uh i think that was how he started his uh political career but i don't really know what that entailed like i don't know if that means that he was good at hand-to-hand fighting really you're ready for my most embarrassing part of the podcast is we did our first hitler episode two months ago where we made fun of people for reading rise and fall of

the third right on the subway because it is a book with a giant swastika on it right and it's like a thousand pages long and you look like uh yeah that's when you were you really want to get the kindle edition if i read that book i would kill myself if i ever met someone who read this book i'd be so fucking mad what's up since then i have purchased the kindle edition and read the entire thing it is 1200 pages long and you got you gleaned nothing from it to be clear i knew i know very little of his psychic abilities they're not included there's biased sources they're quite dated by this point the books were in 1960 no one saw me on the subway reading it no one i did it alone in world war one i'm looking at pictures of him he's kind of he's

kind of built i think churchill watches him and i think i think churchill wins in one because hitler also is like a young artist right that's scrawny yeah that's true yeah he's like heroin he's like a painter yeah i think churchill wins i do think hitler might win world war ii Because Churchill's getting kind of old. Yeah. Yeah. He's slowing down. He's drinking a quart of whiskey every day.

Yeah. But what's important to realize is that these are both little pudgy little doggies. It's true. And they're not show horses the way you want to see in a slap-off. That might be it. That might be it. Because, you know, if they're both kind of like really weak, then maybe Churchill just kind of like body slams them.

Yeah. I think the body slam is a great move. And Snorlax is one of the most powerful Pokemon they're on. This is a big Pokemon episode. I didn't see it coming just based on knowing Alex for a while I'm kind of surprised that's not every episode

it's happening more and more and I don't know how the guy who wrote a screenplay about Gran Torino with the Pokemon in it we've both written screenplays about Pokemon we've both done that but I'm the only one who's lambasted in public

the only one who's dragged through the streets for it for making art and rightly so Well, and not rightly so, actually, and debatably. Oh, interesting that you would say that. Counterpoint. Actually, wrongly so. Actually, wrongly.

I would say it's not cool that people are being mean to me. Who's being mean to you? I don't think Hitler was a psychic. I'm being mean to Alice. David is, for one. You fucking suck. One guy said that I lost all my credibility for calling rest in Super Smash Bros. Dream Eater, even though Dream Eater is the powerful move that hits you.

We're not talking about that this week. I'm sorry for bringing up Pokemon again. This is about Hitler fist fighting Churchill in two wars. And he loses the first one and wins the second one. Douglas Porter says, Churchill spent some time in the army in the 1890s and saw action at Omdurman for a start. But by the time World War I kicked off,

he was 40 and probably no longer in his prime physically. Still, changed the fist fight to a cavalry duel with sabers and Winston takes it. Well, that's a totally different question. What are you talking about? Yeah, have them play Virtua Fighter against each other. I don't know. Yeah.

Look, if this was Battle of the Bands, Churchill's got it. With the Halo question, if Master Chief had his armor, then it's a different story. Then it's a different story. Then he could beat the gorilla. Yeah.

In this case, Winston Churchill is Master Chief and Hitler is a rabid gorilla. Say it louder for the people in the back. So this guy says that Churchill loses. Wrong. Joseph, the other answer, says Hitler was a trained soldier in Schering World War I who was ranked as corporal and ran messages through the mainly reserved trenches on the front line of Europe. I would say he beats Churchill in a fistfight during this time,

whereas Churchill served as a ward in the Admiralty where he helped plan and devise naval campaigns. I don't think he would have been trained as much or any at all in combat and military training. Can I just point out... What does running messages have to do... Did they get messages to each other by punching them? Yo, the DoorDash guy could obviously fight any army man. Obviously. Also, 40 is not that old.

No. You could still be in your prime at 40. Right. Yeah. You could have a lean middle. You could have a dad bod. That's right. You could have a fighting dad bod.

That's right. Maybe he was only the sexiest he ever was at 40. Can I just point out that the reason we have these episodes is because 70% of this website is full of Nazis and now they're just answering the questions and we're acting like they know stuff. They don't know stuff. They're making stuff up. No one can beat up Hitler.

He's the coolest. He's the man. I did like that. Don't clip that. Don't clip any of this one. You know what? This one has no clips. Stop watching. Put the phone down and think about what you've done.

But I like that the battle that Churchill fought at sounded like you're the man there's more to this guy by the way german is funny joseph continues he says during world war ii hitler had quite a few physical and mental disorders some of which are only speculation as they weren't all successfully diagnosed while he was alive or after he died this included parkinson's bow disorder and syphilis i assume he means bowel not bow or bow whatever his right his right left arm and hand was quite unbalanced and lame compared was right and i assume he means left his right left arm he must mean left arm what the fuck kind

of sentence is this i doubt he would have been much good in a fistfight even against the older churchill during this time with churchill's might bravery and influences on the eventual va ve day i would say churchill would beat hitler in a fistfight so he's going opposite you and and again you're still just like all of these answers are just based on vibes it seems like you could never have a podcast where you bring a pokemon like this based on his victory on v like what was that yeah what does that have to do with anything a really good chair that day yeah when he gave heroic speeches on the radio absolutely grow up the king's the king speech yeah he spoke to the king yeah that's right isn't that what that movie was about isn't that about world war

two where the king has to talk to everybody on the radio and they're like yeah he has a stutter They're like, oh, if he doesn't do a good job, we're all going to kill ourselves. It seems incredibly low stakes to me. There's that famous line where the king was just like, I'm an awkward turtle. And he put his hands together like this and he did the fins. You ever see that? Yeah. Hey, David, you ever see that?

Yeah, I see that. I do like the idea of the guys in the boats in like fucking D-Day just being like, I hope he gets this speech right. Yeah, right. You're nailing it, sire. You have so much reese. The king is so cool. They don't like him anymore But back then they loved the king

No he was based We have one type of joke on this show For real I haven't thought about King George stuttering badly Worst stuttering you've ever heard I mean he could just say that about Joe Biden Not a good speaker

He's a terrible king is not so good i just i haven't thought about the awkward turtle for a long time i don't remember that is that in the movie dude that's you bro this is you bro yeah i don't think so i have no idea why he brought it up but i do remember that as like a turtle it's when you're awkward you say i'm just a small bean i'm like this turtle and you put your hands together and then each thumb becomes a fin and then you do them like kind of out of sync or whatever yeah i guess i just like was having too much sex in high school. I just didn't, wasn't around.

Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything, but that is something that I've held against you. It's kind of hard just being in the room with a guy you know is so virile. Yeah. I cannot figure out what, there's a Wikipedia page for it. Apparently it's from 2006.

Why don't you go have sex with it if you don't see much? We would do the thing where he would be like, you want to see a vagina? awkward vagina oh I got teeth because I'm so awkward I don't know how to show that with your hands

I guess it would be something like alright if you're watching the video this is the vagina right I can't describe this for audio listeners you're just going to have to go look at it it's like this part's the teeth honestly you're not missing much I badly regret agreeing to be on this

shut up David Great point, David. Let's move on to another question here. It's Hitler episode two. All right, nerds. This one's for you. What if Hitler watched Star Wars? Now what?

You'd be like, that's me, for real. This is awesome. Yeah, I think he'd be like, oh, that's pretty good. What if he didn't become a Nazi? He just went all in on Star Wars shit. I am getting honored as a senior maid. Can you imagine such terrible passion being put behind something so irritating? Chewbacca is the most powerful.

That makes him the king. You think he's a chewy guy? He loves Chewbacca. This is my impression of Hitler doing the Chewbacca noise, but not well. Here it goes. Let's hear it. Wow, that had levels to it. Yes, it's a multi-layered plan.

I can't do German. I wish I could. It's too hard. So that's it? Just what if he watched it? What if he watched Star Wars? What if he watched Star Wars? What do you think?

Here's a question. What if Hitler watched Star Wars? Just like when he's in Argentina when it came out. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe he did. Don't want to rule it out. He could have seen it.

There are two ways to approach this. One is he lives and he faked his death and he moved to Argentina and watched Star Wars and he thought it was really based. Part two, he receives a capsule from the future with like a VHS on it. And he's like, what is this magic? And then he puts it in and he shows it to like Goebbels and stuff.

And he's like, get the kids. We're watching Star Wars. And then Goebbels is like, what's that? And he's like, I can't talk about that right now. We have Star Wars. Yeah, I mean, he obviously would have been furious about The Last Jedi for a bunch of inscrutable reasons. But like, I thought that movie was pretty good

except for the bit where they use bombers to use gravity and space to drop bombs on a thing. What the fuck's going on here? All parts of those movies don't make any sense. The newest ones. What's going on? Do you remember? But I thought it was mostly pretty good.

I liked the casino stuff. It had a lot of cool Star Wars stuff in it, and that's my main criteria. It had that salt planet. That was pretty dope. Here's the thing. If we talk too much about The Last Jedi, someone will kill all three of us.

Hey, don't threaten me with a good time. Is The Last Jedi the one where they use the lightspeed travel to suicide bomb the ship? That didn't make any goddamn sense. We can't do this. How would any of them live? No. How would any of them live?

I have an answer that will... It's space. If we're wondering what this question, how to approach this question... Jeremy's so afraid of The Last Jedi. He just wants us to stay where it's safe in Hitler conversation. Yeah, Star Wars is the third rail

of Hitler-related podcasting. We can't talk about this. We're going to scare away too many of the men from the tips from Edson. Someone says that Luke changed his opinion of how to be a Jedi. I liked when he sucked off that cow. Yeah, that was fun with the green milk.

That was rocked. I liked the porgs. We all liked the porgs. Babu Freak! That was fun. I think they should have just left him as Puffins. I love Puffins. Babu Freak is in the next one.

Babu, Babu. so you've just outed yourself as a fucking idiot whatever what if hitler saw it uh i just like this answer because we were like how do you approach this question even and this guy nathan stanish says if hitler watched star wars he would add jedi to his list of people to persecute and annihilate i think that's when he steals the jedi gold his favorite character would have been emperor palpatine oh baby i forgot i had a soundboard that's i mean okay maybe but like that's really is anybody's favorite character like why even bother to if you watched it i think you would like the bad guy it's like okay you'd be like those guys are like yeah they're cool yeah like

chewbacca he's physically in fact the bad guys are the good guys i feel like that is like something that does happen with star wars where like every once in a while you'll just see a take where they're like the empire was good actually yeah that i mean there was a conservative recently on twitter who was like the thing about star wars is that it's unrealistic because the the rebels actually cause more property damage and yeah he's got a good point there they did fuck some stuff up i mean the empire burned down his parents house at the beginning or his aunt and uncle i guess yeah but they weren't interfering with commerce that's true that's how it is there's a good answer here from this guy andras he says i'm sure he would have preferred

a Germanized version. Hans Solo. Oberst von Kenobi. This guy is good. This is how you answer a question. This guy's got a real angle on this that I wouldn't have come up with. The answer is Hans Solo.

Solo doesn't change. He couldn't come up with a German version of that. It's pretty low effort, actually. He persecutes Chewbacca. This sucks. From downtown. wow what did we peak at minute 50 there we gotta keep going we have so many questions left yeah we're not done yet here's a question did adolf hitler have riz what do you think what's your

body count and then did adolf hitler ever is i mean that's what everyone says right that he was like yeah i don't think that they use those terms and it feels very weird to say that but he was charismatic. If Adolf Hitler didn't have Riz, then I don't know who does. You know when he spoke to crowds and all those women were crying and ripping their shirts off and stuff? He'd be like, he ain't got it. I think that was the Beatles.

No, but he was like early the Beatles. I'm making a dream band. I got John Lennon. I got Hitler. Hitler's just the hype man or something like that. The dancing guy in the Mighty Mighty Boss

tones i hope you're ready to go crazy that would be fun to have that job but for fucking nazi germany no you're just the guy skanking on stage skanking is pretty similar to goose stepping i always get confused watching it how dare you i don't think i know what goose stepping is do you know what skanking is yeah is it like that why don't you pull up goose stepping really oh i see what you're saying and tell me that that's not skanking tell me that's not a form for those listening who also don't know this is just the way that the nazis walk yeah they but they do really high kick foot yeah high kick foot don't clip this was there a practical reason for that or did they just think it looked cool that was entirely about looking cool dude it also looks

exhausting yeah it does you like do that more than like three steps and that's like your evening yeah and they would make those motherfuckers walk around like that well i'm not gonna do that because i think that would make me look bad but i'm not gonna do it and i also i'm not even gonna join hitler's army when they ask me to i'll be a conscience of conscientious objector and alex thank you i am against this war and i don't know what we're in it for this is a good question for later is goose stepping and skanking the same thing okay let's remember that okay uh it would have riz yeah he definitely did yeah he did he was the beatles pretty much top comment says sorry i don't understand what you mean

you can do that for all of you i didn't realize that's an option yeah you can just sit this one out do you really need closure on that you have to ask yeah just don't answer what fair enough why are we talking about this that's a good answer to any quora question um em salvador says i don't think so but he is an eloquent speaker that's why he was able to to seduce the germans to support his cause that's what that is attracted to him not because of riz but because of power and influence what what is riz then yeah if it's not charisma it is charisma that's what it is to be honest solo oberst von kenobi did he have any others in there Those were the two.

Oberst von Kenobi is... I've never heard the word Oberst von Kenobi. It feels like he probably went through a lot of different names before he got to that one. That's why he couldn't do any others. I'm trying to think of one. It's hard. It is hard.

Darth Schnitzel. I thought of another one for Han Solo, but we already got him. Darth Vader already kind of German. Yeah, it does feel that way. Darth. earth all right we've moved on for this but yes he does have ritz luke skywalker skywalker is the best connection you can do there i was trying to think of a way to like germanify luke

but uh what do you got there i thought lucas yeah i guess yeah it's luke like i don't know luke is pretty these are all latin-based languages did he ever kiss another man in a non-romantic but endearment way? Probably. Pretty sus, Hitler. To do that. There's one answer on this. It says, yes, of course.

That's why he was called Adolf Elizabeth Hitler. What? And that's why he was called. Maybe you didn't hear. If you go on Quora for too long, you get brain damage. I just feel insane sometimes reading this. First of all, was he called that? And second of all, that makes, what?

check your history books for adolf elizabeth hitler i just yeah i don't know if you do the podcast or more than an hour you start to go insane i think yeah we were getting lunch and jeremy was like i think i've gotten worse at talking since we started this and i'm like it definitely is from doing the part yeah it's hurt our brains yeah i think i have a quora poisoning you're kind of like adolf elizabeth hitler um you know what i think back then like because consider this germany is in europe oh so you're allowed to do a little kissing every now and then yeah i feel like it's i feel like there's a probably there's a pretty good chance yeah it'd probably just be like hello and goodbye kiss on the cheek from der fuhrer yeah italian hitler

so good to see ma manja italian hitler imagine that imagine there was some figure in history who's kind of an Italian. If you can wrap your head around it. Unfortunately, there's no such thing. I can't even make up a person like that. It's too crazy. Now imagine an American one who's the color of a mango.

The 20 is not so nice. The only way I could handle that is sitting with a glass of wine and my resting bitch face firmly applied. We can't do a third one of these. This is no good. Jeremy Hammond bailed on us again. Oh, yeah, we booked Jeremy again, and he bailed on me.

And I'm never going to forgive him for it. And now he's brought David down with us. We have one more question. Did Hitler smoke weed often? Not often, for sure. Yeah. Is Hitler 420 friendly? Where did we put the bong?

Where did we put the bong? Wow. Yeah, there we go. What if this is Hitler? That's my real cough. Now, that cough sounded pretty Jewish, you're thinking. But imagine instead it's Hitler. This is similar to the meditation one of like,

I don't think it, I don't, he doesn't have signs of that. No. He's pretty aggro. There is like, you know, there's like a guy out there who is like, if Hitler smoked weed, World War Two wouldn't happen. I mean, that's so many guys like that. There are many ways that that could be true, but I also do not think that was the main issue. That's one of the main complaints about weed guys is like you lie around on the couch all day. It's not like you have too much ambition.

Right. You don't care. Right. Yeah. No, it definitely takes you. It definitely does take away from your like from your like motivation and stuff. but I don't think that it makes you not racist. You're going to lie around the house all day.

What about your iron will? Right. Michael Phelps. Man, if Hitler did mushrooms, he would have known that we're all the same. The machine elves would tell him to not be racist. That is, if I could have a TV show of any kind, it would be just like where I'm...

The one where you give dictators mushrooms? Yeah, I go around the world and do psychedelic drugs with various world leaders, yeah. It's David. It's Action Bronson. It's Paul Pott. Me and Action Bronson doing mushrooms with Jair Bolsonaro. Hey, man, why are you destroying the earth?

The earth is our home. You know what? I'd watch that. I'd say, you're knocking down the forest, man. I brought you some lettuce. And he's like, oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

What have I been doing? We're all one, man. Try this casserole. I'd watch that show. It'd be good. You just groove to that bossanova beat and stop fucking everything up for everybody. Stop fucking everything up all the time.

That'd be such a jerk. What channel would this be on? Jair. Vice is no longer around, right? They don't exist? That is pretty on the nose. That is where it would be. I guess it would be on CNN.

Yeah, I guess. They produce food They've never had a really good Replacement for Anthony Bourdain So I could just slide into that spot That's true Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe It would replace that

It would be doing Salvio with David Twydy I would do Mushrooms with Mike Rowe too Just be like why are you like this You know you're like You're like a TV guy You don't have one of these hard jobs You just go around acting like you do You like castrating pigs for fun.

You're just like stealing valor by having a TV show about these people. You're weird. Do you think Hitler ever smoked weed? This is me asking Mike Rowe. Stop talking to me. Hitler probably did smoke weed, but he never passed. I don't think Mike Rowe ever podcasted. The hardest job.

Yeah, that's true. The dirtiest. I agree with that. I don't think he could do it. Braver than the troops. I think he could do what I do for one day because he'd lose his mind. I can't even think of doing Pokemon slash Trump jokes. Yeah, you couldn't list all of the evolutions of Staryu.

The more that I think about this, I do feel like it's kind of surprising that I can't think of a scene in like a 90s or early 2000s stoner comedy where Hitler does smoke weed. There is the scene where they smoke weed with George W. Bush and Harold and Kumar, which is kind of the modern version of the modern Hitler. But yeah, I could have I could totally see like Method Man and Red Man somehow like ending up in a room with Hitler and getting him getting him blunted on that sticky. Even like a contemporary, just like Ernst Lubitsch doing a scene. Oh, yeah, that would be fun. Yeah, Hitler. Did Bill and Ted have a Hitler scene? I don't think they had a lot of Napoleon.

I think they stayed away from that. i feel like which was probably wise i think yeah it's easy to forget how like not that long ago world right yeah yeah people's families are like well did you ever watch bill and ted almost kidnapped hitler instead of napoleon it's like i'm psychic okay which pretty much makes me hit was wait was that was that in the movie or is this according to ed solomon the writer he said that originally it was going to be hit okay but yeah i mean did you ever watch um when i was growing up uh like hogan's heroes was on in uh like uh early afternoon and i watched a lot of episodes of that when i was like home during the summertime are you like 50 years old i mean that

show is old as fuck but i just like didn't have cable growing up so i watched a lot of weird watched a lot of weird reruns like the original dragnet and hawaii 50 and shit but like uh Hogan's Heroes was a sitcom set in a Nazi concentration or not a concentration, a POW camp. And that was like that show was like 15 years after World War Two. Like and the originally called the news, folks, the guy who plays Colonel Clink, who's like the bad guy on the show, the bumbling commandant of the camp. He was actually I believe that he was a Holocaust survivor and he was like, I'll do this, but you got to make this guy look bad. and they're like oh okay he's gonna look like a bozo i brought up ernst lubitsch because he has that movie to be or not to be which i think is like super fucking funny and it came out in 1942

and it's a movie that's a comedy that's set it's set in nazi occupied poland while poland was still occupied by nazis okay and it's a very funny very funny dark comedy and people like left the theater like they were so offended by it i mean that is why that is like yeah i i respect that he was a He was a European Jew who came to the U.S. to make it. That's very offensive. I love it. Very funny movie. I also had a VHS of old Looney Tunes cartoons,

and that did have the one where Daffy Duck is fucking with Adolf Hitler. Sure. And he hits him on the head with a big mallet when he's giving a speech at the end. Yeah, that's just to show the audience whose side they're on. It's slightly confused by the scene where...

That's virtue signaling. Slightly confused by the scene where Bug sucks off gerbils. Humor was different. Yeah, the Bugs Bunny character has evolved a lot since then. He has two spoons now. God damn it. Well. I think we've done enough.

I'm full. Let's ask a question. I simply couldn't have another bite of Hitler. This will be a short one because we only recorded 30 minutes. It's not true. Could not possibly be true. i say what is the difference between skanking thank you and goose stepping stepping what if you uh you see you have to core that one up i think you have to phrase it like

is goose is skanking the same as goose stepping i've already fucked it up okay i just you made it so smart i think it'll be good i think it's so intellectual and smart but that's okay to answer our question um oh we got invited to a space oh what is it john pierce invited you to John Pierce's space. Why not? John Pierce, we're coming. Thank you for listening to Hitler Episode 2 here on Quaraders.

David, we want to thank you for coming out to the show and doing the episode you love the most. One's about Hitler. Where can our listeners find you at Home and Abroad? You can find me on Twitter at Twitee, T-V-E-I-T-E. Instagram at

Kill Twitee, Kill tve ite i've been posting more stand-up clips on there and stuff and uh yeah and shows and whatever i live in portland oregon so if you're in the pacific northwest i'm doing stuff out there all the time if you want to go hiking david will go with you absolutely stuff like that yeah also can i just say really really quickly john pierce is a guy that we followed on this website some episodes ago because we thought he was a cool irish guy okay and he and we followed him we're one of his nine followers, and he invited us to contribute to his space that he owns.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, get in there. Get in on that. So we're in there now. Tell them about David's plugs. Also, if you're still listening, we have bonus episodes every Thursday, and you're going to love these.

Did you like this episode? They're so much fun. There's another one. There's another one of these. We go on other websites. We watch TikToks that you cannot see unless you're watching the video, and then you can see them.

And there's other kinds of great stuff like that, so we'd love to see you there on patreon.com slash core raiders and that's going to be it for us this week we hope you have a special tomorrow