Quorators - Why Does Spider-Man Have So Many Girlfriends? w/ Matt McMuscles

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Why was Lara Croft given a bust reduction? Was it because she was considered overly sexual? If so, is that fair? Sir, I am addicted to hentai and I am losing interest in real girls. What should I do? What if Pokemon are real? ----- Check out Matt's youtube @ https://www.youtube.com/@mattmcmuscles  Get even more Quorators @ http://patreon.com/quorators  Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord https://discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show at https://www.youtube.com/@quorators 

It's Quarators time. And we're back with Quarators another week here on crack.com home of the fact official slogan of crack.com we're your hosts Alex and Jeremy I'm Alex I'm Jeremy how's it going How is it going? It's going all right. It's fine. We got a great guest for you this week, all the way from the World Wide Web, folks. You're going to love this guy.

We got Matt McMuzzles live in the chat. What's going on, Matt? Hey, what's up, Matt McMuzzles? It's a funny name because I'm not particularly muscular in any shape, way, or form. It's a pun, really. That blew my mind when I saw that big turn. I was expecting the most robust gentleman. Right?

Well, yeah, in some ways, yeah. no like robust in some ways but very much not in others matt do you worry that if you ever work out you're gonna have to like stop yourself to be like i can't get too muscular it's gonna stop being a fun nickname you can tell he's thought about this i think about this all the time because one time i was getting somewhere and i'm like now this will ruin the brand it'll ruin the brand i just can't my health isn't worth it you're running into the problem every like 90s fat comedy actor hat.

Jonah Hill was so much more entertaining like 10 years ago. It's true. It's just his bone shape is entirely shocking now. Now he's mean to his girlfriend and skinny like a loser. I think he's mean because he's skinny. I agree. Well, that's enough of that.

Man, have you been on Quora before? You know about Quora? I know of Quora, but I never actually perused what have you heard like this is a dumb place and then your podcast appeared that's literally the start and the end of it so yeah that's that's my but i did do a little bit tiny bit of research uh like a week or two ago because uh we had some problems scheduling this just i had a really bad cold it was like i had i had covid and this random cold way worse and i don't know why i think it was

because it was from a child those yeah you're getting it raw yeah you're getting straight from the source flu yeah um so yeah like i haven't uh like you know really really dug deep into the website so that's fine and if you are watching i encourage not digging deep into the website it may harm you and your mental health if you are sick quora is a good place to go to ask oh yeah just ask random people people who are not qualified to give advice they have a doctorate in some other thing and they want to tell you to take household products um doing this show for a year now has made me feel like mixed on quora because if you have online poisoning and you're on twitter all the time or something like that quora is so much more

fun to be on than like facebook or something like that but it is also the dumbest place on the entire internet which is a very special uh prize and it will hurt you over time to be there so it evens out it evens out yeah it's yeah it's like drinking it's like a lot of fun but it's bad for you i guess i feel like when we're on quora it's like when you have poison in a video game you're walking you just see like the negative one pop up every no don't do that to your son well okay we bookend every episode by asking a question and seeing what uh people said so what was our question last time last week we said if i sat on a lighter parentheses really hard would it explode oh no that's right mario oh no any thoughts on this matt do you think you would

explode a lighter if you sat on it really hard it depends on the surface that you're sitting on if it's on a couch no that's just physics yeah that's just physics if it's on like a cement bench and you're you hit like the like one of the cheeks or like the ass bone is maybe if you're if you are of a certain carriage sure i can imagine that working but like i'd say nine times out of ten no nine times out of ten you are safe that's the lighter guarantee and then there's that one out of a hundred you sit on it goes right up your butt and then you explode oh my god and you can trust jeremy he's a doctor i'm a doctor yeah so our suggestion is to avoid bone sparks i guess uh let's see what the people on quora said um this guy adam griffin who's a senior product

manager at pendo shout out to pendo shout out we love your work pendo you're our guy who answered our question corporation of the week. He says, I would say it's possible if you're on a hard surface. There you go. We're all saying the same thing. I'd be careful, however, with fluid lighters or any butane product in the nether region area.

In high school, I would tease friends by lighting my farts on fire and ended up with a second and third degree burns three feet up my colorectal lining. It is a very difficult area to treat. Three feet up your organs? a special move at that point yeah it's like you've fought scorpion i'm assuming like it's not straight because that's the whole torso that's around is he

saying third degree burns like up his ass is no he's saying up his colorectal what is that jeremy is rectal not it's a colorectal lining i'm looking it up i'm googling it lining of your colon i'm assume yeah i want to say really then he has to really get a camera up there to see the degree of burns i'm assuming he went to a real hospital and didn't just check the internet for this one but uh we pulled up colorectal lining and yep that's what it was it's up there it's where colon polyps go anyway did a reverse explosion do you have any other answers from even smarter people i gotta say that guy was incredibly qualified to answer a lighter question in a way that surprised me um i doubt it would there's nothing to ignite the leaking butane or naphtha

from the lighter years ago i had a freshly filled zippo stuffed into a tight tight tight jeans pocket young and dumb later i felt a sting on my skin which was the naphtha drying out or a chemical burn on my skin i had to remove the jeans to make a stop and no ignition occurred i had skin damage for a long time sounds like you didn't sit on it though even though you were a former engineer at nuclear power plant allegedly yeah this is all happening at like a very high-tech institution dare i say useless answer it sounded like the the high-tech place is like a lab in the at the bottom of the ocean when i was the captain of sea lab 2021 i used to light my own farts on fire every day i burn my ass right up damn okay so uh one guy says no that's under answers that

need improvement upvote from gray uh casual reminder as we do on the show every week just to uh you know say it again and again if you must answer our core questions be sure to use the code word scrambled eggs and this way we'll know you're one of our little minions guy we're gonna we're gonna say where you work and stuff we won't be bd we won't read the fake place you work on your okay let's let's get into it this is our first segment forbidden knowledge and um we matt you told us that you wanted us to find a bunch of uh video game and comic book and hentai questions so we have found me at my best yes we have found such questions we need to coach our athletes into their top performance yeah exactly we wouldn't dare put you in the wrong field

hydrated before this okay so this is a video game question this question is encore.com and it is should we prohibit the mentally ill from playing violent video games we have laws restricting sales of firearms to those who with a history of mental illness or a criminal record but we allow use of violent games including first-person shooter games i would love to see this implemented i would love the like license you need yeah there's a guy at gamestop who like makes you walk 20 paces in a straight line then you can have red dead redemption too like a form has to be filled out like and and the gamestop employee has to be behind

like a more official looking desk like gamestop is not going to spend that amount like refurbishing the what 50 stores that are left in america that are gamestop so i'm i'm gonna say yeah In terms of logistics, there's no way you can implement that. GameStop will start having bulletproof glass. The only way to safely continue the trade. They hand you a game, they're like, what are you using this for? You put it in a drawer and then they open it on one side. If this came about like the early 2000s, like boom of PS2, like, yeah, maybe, maybe.

A lot of lives could have been saved. A lot of lives could have been saved. like that's when like stuff like manhunt was coming out and like you could have had you could have had senators talking about that specifically in this but nowadays too much money is being made in video games it's too mainstream how many shooters were inspired by bloody roar primal fury we'll never know i'm not a shooter but i was generally inspired by i was i was on game faqs once and i found an old ancient faq for primal fury specifically written by aaron hansen of game grumps when he was like 12 and he has little descriptions of

the combos he's like oh this combo is so cool use it a lot and i'm like that's my favorite fact i I just found that. And that's why Matt should be in prison. So we have to arrest Matt. I've kind of modeled my career after Bakuryu the mole. That's a really strong video game poll. Welcome to crack.com. Sheena the leopard.

I don't have a third one. I don't have a third one. That's fine. You only need one or two. It's going to come to me in 25 minutes when it's useless. What are people saying? I bet they're really dealing with this well. People are not happy about this question.

That's a shame. People are pissed off. Jason Genesee. I feel bad saying these people's full names. His name is Jaden Genesee. Jaden, sorry. Well, you know what? I'm sorry I didn't dox him for one second.

Jeremy trying to put his body in front of Jaden Genesee to save him from our face. Also, he lives on 15 Milbury Lane. jayden says i'm mentally ill i spent the majority of my life listening to violent evil satan worshiping kill your parents kill the authorities kill everyone deadly heavy metal music the music that wasp and others would tell you was the worst part of civilization heck i even listened to the music that came after the great wasp uproar walmart and kmart won't even carry some of my favorite bands because this guy's post wasp you know bad words i listen to slayer

metallica mentally ill he mentally ill here i listen to body count and then he goes i want to know how evil i am i study the bible daily i joined the catholic church mwahaha and i sit here reading questions on quora and responding to them all right all right this guy's really giving us a lot of attitude i just want to know if you should be barred ah ha ha though that is the spice there if you like that ah ha ha you'll love the preceding ah ha ha's in the rest of the post um and then so then but then he goes never got into video games so it's like well that's so maybe you don't fucking know jayden yeah maybe you're the last person to ask in the world i'd rather have like a uh god no dog in this fight yeah i just like slayer i'm so sick of

jayden man pisses me off every week um eric pepke unrelated to eric pepsi says why then he goes don't even get me started on barney just a flashback of barney and i'm ready to do bodily harm it's like what are you talking no he's just joking ignore jayden jayden's trying to make a mockery of our quora investigative podcast i've moved on to eric pepke who works at cisco what's his deal well if you're talking about sending messages i guess you can do what you like your audience is people who aren't mentally ill a lot of stuff that people do about the mentally ill to make themselves happy you know whatever it's the implication that like if you get a video game you are enabled with the same level of power a gun brings you yeah i think

so you unlock new special moves in your adhd hands like you get really good at throwing ps2 discs and you chop them up into like ninja star shapes that's the only way that's being really a deadly weapon without an additional outside element so they're like no ninja star shapes are one of the sharpest shape something we want to discourage our listeners from throwing physics physics the science podcast okay well um unless somebody else is even more angry i think we're done with this let's move on okay here's a rare case where the core answers are not angry enough yeah all right here's another video game question uh why was lara croft given a bust reduction was it because she was considered overly sexual if so is that fair

to her is it is it fair to her i'm gonna go ahead and say her back hurt that's usually why yeah that is usually and she does like a lot of athletic sure you really don't want to be like stuck on a crag boob wise oh no it'd be like 127 days later or whatever the movie where a zombie gets stuck in a mountain oh no i'm just a sexy zombie and he's really hot i can't use my guns to shoot myself free so i think this question is fundamentally flawed because when you went from the big polygons that were sharp like they're basically pyramids like there's going to be a natural reduction when it moved over to like more powerful hardware and they're able to like

do more quote-unquote natural curves to it so i think this person maybe is like not thinking about that element to it but remember they had to increase angelina jolie's bust for the film oh against that too many of our of our viewership is actively trying to forget that i i honestly always thought they should just give her the triangle boobs that would be really interesting They did that in the 70s. Yeah. You just give her the sharp triangle bras back, and then she will look like Lara Croft.

That would have been enough for people to have been like, they got the video game right. It's so real. I don't know where high end in the film begins. Yeah, that was also a 3D movie. Whoa. They shoot water at you in the theater. Look how Lara's going in a pool.

She's going in a sexy pool. Oh, man. I'm still hung up on, is it fair? I think that's a good question. I think the angle they're going for is like, was Lara Croft's boobs silenced for truth? Did the woke mob come for Lara Croft's boob? Her right wing boobs.

British, grew up rich. Yeah, maybe. The first one. Well, there's a lot of history here. i don't know how deep we want to get i don't know it's just a lot of just photos of women dressed as lara croft these are the longest post answers i have seen on the entire website people have written essays i love how the mentally ill thing was like not that interesting this is the real shit because they also hired like six or seven models to be lara croft at like

trade shows and stuff so i'm assuming a lot of those pictures are are from there like they went through one lady a year i can't imagine what that woman had to go through going to every single trade show she's like i'm done i'm done just bringing some fresh meat i guess being laura croft wears you out here's a good answer it's this guy reza says i wish democrats didn't hate big tits but they do facts oh baby why is joe biden forcing the itty bitty the ministry of itty bitties and he somehow went back in like 2002 2003 when this change was implemented amazing the government's out of control um i think that's enough that probably doesn't

i think we've covered i don't think any other gold's coming out of that okay um here's a question why does spider-man have so many girlfriends now spider-man is debatably uh over represented on our program as we have been talking about him for some reason every week for six weeks but i've never known why he has so many girlfriends how does he have like three he's got more than most and he's he's always struggling in the workplace like he's not making rent most months so i mean then it has to be just charisma he's not a nerd most of the time he's a nerd in his teenager years but also the character has been alive for like 70 years he's an old man by this point you can have you can have three or

four girlfriends like who is there there's mary jane there's gwen stacy and and the secretary under jay jenner does he date black cat like no no only in costume shut the fuck up jeremy well that's spider-man i didn't say peter parker oh that's like the most elaborate way of cheating is like that's spider-man's girlfriend we're still married wait he tries to take off the mask in a scene she's like don't fucking do that leave that one and that works for mary jane that's their agreement the other thing too is people don't know this but he loves you baby but spider-man he's got a bone spider-man's got a great body that's all i want to say that was probably miles he's been at the avengers compound picking up rays

also don't forget this actually transfers into real life as every live action spider-man dates his girlfriend in real life is that true that actually happened oh my god toby you dog he's all over town i don't think toby and kristen dunst was like a huge thing but like apparently they did date like briefly but the other two examples like their long-standing relationships so that's true transfer the magic of stan lee continues forever like he just writes this character that's irresistible in fiction and in real life so beautiful i don't know what the answer is here but what what are what are other people saying say what you will about stan lee but he knows women and he and steve dicko they fucked uh let's see what people said on here

there's three answers uh someone this guy uh uh bascar says uh he doesn't really have a lot at the same time he's not a player at all the first woman he thought he loved was betty brandt they drifted apart and she later married ned leads a reporter gwen stacy was a serious girlfriend whom he contemplated on marrying but was killed by the Green Goblin. Mary Jane was just a friend who helped him grieve and became a girlfriend later. Debbie Whitman was not a serious girlfriend. It's Peter Parker didn't really get a girlfriend. I'm sorry, this is a lot of women you're

naming. This is like a whole bunch of women. So many women. I can't read all of this. It just keeps going. The Peter Parker defender has logged on. The final sentence is just, when he is Spider-Man, events in his superhero life make his personal life complicated. Oh my god.

Ain't that the truth. Everybody has the same line excusing his cheating um people get mad online if you'd like disparage spider-man lore i know that i tweeted the other day i was playing the spider-man i wouldn't know jeremy and i tweeted if i was spider-man i would just monetize it and like a thousand people came out of the woodworks to be like he tried that he can't do it he can't have a patreon social security number that was basically what everyone was saying to me yeah but like even in the even in the game right they have an app like a spider-man app that people but that they don't charge you nothing they don't even run ads on the app it's ridiculous matt and it's like three really smart guys working on this app

none of them are like a little bit on the side a subscription fee 4.99 a month come on like yeah no the whole game is just like spider-man being like man i can't afford to pay rent anyway back to being the most famous person alive here i am hanging out with aerosmith it's like you can't figure anything out big t-shirts it's too bad jeremy couldn't be but it's like i guess he figures if i try to monetize it uncle may will get shot next yeah third aunt twice removed who do i have left really anytime i monetize right someone dies it does seem like there's a vengeful higher power holding the sword of damocles over him at all times waiting for him to have fun once who among us whom he does so much for this city we love him

here in new york we love you spider-man i want to see eric uh eric adams hanging out with spider-man oh he does all the time they're best friends that's what he says so i'm not sure if you guys have ever heard of this storyline where it's peter parker in the future and he's at uh uh mary jane's grave and he's like i'm so sorry the build-up of my radioactive semen gave you cancer and killed you i have somehow seen this and i really have not put in the time to do so so it's impressive that that's the time that you put in i just gave it to you that's it that's all you need to know about the storyline it was supposed to be this big emotional thing and now everyone just kind of mocks it nowadays right and he i think it's wrong i think there's a scene where he's

holding like a skeleton and the skeleton is completely bare of flesh but it still has big red hair that's that's a memory of mine i'm not sure if it's accurate but iconic they should do a sequel where like just more and more women around new york are getting spider-man cancer what is happening is it is it like the writer heard about how you can get cancer from eating pussy and we're like and spider-man's girlfriend has this problem they heard about how like everyone at nyu got chlamydia from timothy chalamet it's infecting man female cancer rates are going up seven thousand percent this month what the Fuck! Everyone is going down on

Peter. That's basically all the answers here. All joking aside, he does so much for this. He's an American hero. Download the app. Download the Spider Neighborhood app. Sign up for Spider-Man. Patreon.com slash Quarators. Make sure you hit that button.

Don't read what it says. Okay, let's read another. We got another video game question. I love video game. Are Mortal Kombat fatalities physically possible? yes yes yes yes yes we opened with that guy who lit the inside of his ass on fire i think you can do it there's there's those videos where they get a doctor to react to uh fatalities and like i watched like one ever now they do it like every time there's like a dlc character and he's just

like no no no no so that that's pretty definitive right there he's a little grossed out but he just says no i love that i love the idea of a doctor watching a man punch someone and then he explodes and being like you can't do that this is misleading you actually can't do that it's kind of it would be unlikely to rip someone's spine out through their head to pull it out of their body and then tie them up with it there should be some community notes under this video i feel i see reptiles shooting acid out of his mouth and dissolving a man alive but i think to contain that acid is pretty hard to do unrealistic when they have when they have gun experts to like critique like resident evil's guns like okay that makes sense like he goes this is inaccurate that's

inaccurate but that's you know that you could do that or this gun would work like that but i the the minds behind that video series and we're like let's get doctors in on Mortal Kombat like parents uh you know old people react to Mortal Kombat fatalities again sure I understand the appeal there but there is an appeal and a doctor saying no nah I resent when uh doctors get into the content creating space you already have money get the fuck out of here go back to your job where you help people. I can't even monetize Mortal Kombat and stuff. It gets flagged.

Son of a bitch, Dr. Bleeker. Legally, you have to do that at a hospital. Well, on Quora, they don't think so, most likely. Yeah, this guy says it's all fictional. I couldn't possibly pull off a couple of hair from someone's skull, let alone their whole skull. all right sounds like a skill issue yeah it sounds like that's on you dude why don't you try harder uh this guy's done a lot of screenshots yeah and then just says no you can't do those things in

real life i think maybe could you punch some just let's take one fatality for example and maybe okay so here you go someone says yes you can burn someone parentheses just not from a kiss out of your mouth you would have to use matches and gasoline and sit on them in the right way uh could you uppercut someone's head so it pops off and explodes a fountain of blood i couldn't i couldn't someone certainly could could a very like an nba player who goes to uppercut practice every day for 10 years maybe on like a baby do it that's a great example of a guy who almost certainly can uppercut someone so their head flies off in a fountain of blood appears but then he goes and rescues another dog and lives with them on his ranch so you can't be

mad at him no it can't be mad at it we love dave on here the second you answer our emails dave you are welcome to come on is the is there one you could possibly do like i want to say that there is one that's like yeah okay maybe but none is like can you grow into a giant and stomp a man then what about when they add weapons maybe like the ones where they chop a guy up a hundred times with their snickety sword like it would take a while but it would take a while but no no baraka has one where you just okay you have to attach machetes to your forearms but then he just he just impales you in your gut and lifts you up like this and you just slide down the blades like That's taken from real life.

That happened like one million times in the Civil War, I think. Absolutely, it did. It was the gangrene and machete lifting off the ground and sliding down a blade are the two biggest reasons for death in the Civil War. It was brother against brother against Baraka. If you drop Baraka into the Civil War, I think the history of the United States of America would be very different nowadays. Depends on what side he's on.

Depends on what side. We're not a political show. We don't want to say which side should have won the Civil War. Or should have Baraka. And his health. Which side would Outworld have supported? We don't know. Outworld seems like they have a certain disposition over there.

There's only like two answers. And one's all pictures and one's one guy being doubtful. So that's it. Most people are just like, no, it's not possible. And then they go on for like several paragraphs being like, you could not punch someone so hard that their ribs burst out of their chest. Correct.

Like, yeah, yeah. I do not believe so, says one. All right, let's read another one of these questions. Interesting. This is our last video game question. I love video game. This question is, what if Pokemon are real? Oh, shit.

What if? I'd be like, what? This is the premise of 10 million YouTube videos. what if they were what if you could catch them i guess yeah the question isn't like what if they were real it's what if they are sorry matt what were you saying i was gonna say is it the it it just pops in our reality they are now real or they were always real because that's different those are a different i think it's the latter pokemon are real i think the question is this guy's like what if that's real yeah they just like we didn't look hard enough

then it would be monetized yeah there you go there you go tournaments like robot wars but pokemon pokemon wars it would just be some shitty tv show no one watches now you could take the easy option here and just be like those they're just animals so you could just make raccoons fight and be like pokemon children do this for money just strap a knife to them pokemon or like digimon and and more accurately at that point use bite dark power you are darkness i think the other thing that would have changed is that the closest the world got to world peace in the summer of 2016 never would have occurred because there would have been no pokemon go i'd imagine wow it's a damn shame i was i thought you were gonna say like a nuclear thing where

like all the countries would be battling to make sure they have pokemon so that they Oh, secure it for military purposes? The United States keeps creating more Blastoises. You ever wonder why we have all the Dragon Knights? They're all gone from South America. It's a damn shame. I bet these are the longest try-hard answers on Quora. It has to be.

Oh, my God. In the video game sphere, at least. This one's a list. I appreciate that. Yeah, this guy gave 10 things. First of all, Pokemon were real. I would never get in my house because I would stay outside searching for some decent Pokemon. Thank you.

ozen first thing that would happen i would walk more this would open up new job opportunities such as pokemon training pokemon breeding pokemon nursing pokemon researching this is why politicians need to get on this they refuse to grow that economy about our job creators there's not enough jobs in breeding i've always said that they're like zoos like yeah it would created a whole new industry aside from our regular animals but they're in addition to our regular flora and fauna right it's not because i've never seen real animals in pokemon oh yeah this is true and although i feel like sometimes they mess up and they're like oh no look out for that cat or whatever yeah uh but uh if if pokemon are just animals right that means that we're just we're

just gonna kill them all right like because that's what we're doing that's what happened to normal animals. We would just eat Pokemon. We'd all know what they taste like. Eating them relentlessly. It would just be all milk tanks. Like tanks. It would be so expensive

to get like a milk tank burger. We'd have equipment put in so they can't roll out. That's right, folks. That's one of milk tank's moves. How many other ones do I remember? lots of people treat certain pokemons as pets but they're all pokemon so it's not like how cats and dogs and other smaller pets get special privileges right you know so so i i there's a lot

of moral issues here because someone's meat could be another one's pet that's right but i guess it's true too that you can have a pet cow i would not advise it but hey with the with the lights off you can have all kinds of pet cows i think you legally can't here oh not in new york city no well that's a zoning issue isn't it yeah you're gonna have weird pets hey move out to the suburbs yeah get a cow in your living room they can't go downstairs you get the world's saddest cow who keeps trying to eat your rug it's a real opportunity for you and there's like a meowth walking around in someone's backyard say hey ma there's a weird fucking cat out here He throws coins.

I don't know. I'd say he's exactly like a normal cat, bar the throwing coins. The use of money is different. Anyway, there's six more examples on here, but there could possibly be a Pokemon. Number four, there could possibly be a new form of terrorism. That's true.

Using Pokemon to invade bases. Our bases are at risk. Use Voltorb to blow down the doors slash walls to enter, then use a Weezing or any Pokemon with smokescreen. Steal all you can, then exit. Parentheses, don't ask me why and how I thought of this, okay? I do like this answer. A Ditto can turn into anything.

Like if there's a president or of any country that has like a pet Pokemon, that Ditto can just impersonate him and assassination is guaranteed at that point. So there's a million applications here. For terror. I've actually been reading some blogs that indicate Ditto has already been impersonating many celebrities and politicians who have already been executed by the state. Q has revealed to you all the Ditto politicians.

If you look closely, you'll see they don't have a whole eyeball. They just got those dots. I would love to spread that rumor. Get all the QAnon people to be like, look at Joe Biden's eyes. Then Joe Biden has to just be like, I'm just Irish. That's what it looks like, man. And we're back doing Joe Biden. It happens every week.

It happens every week, folks. Okay. Do we need to read all this? Ditto steeper agents is very strong. It's a strong theory. There are great world-building opportunities. This post also ends with, thank you for reading. Appreciate it.

You're welcome. This guy also says, lastly, I think people would be happier overall. Sure. Because every time you see a cute wild Pokemon, you will realize that everyone was meant to be, and you have a purpose in life, and you will just smile and move on knowing that great adventure await you.

Sure, yeah. I'd say the last one is, it cures my depression that I have. Knowing there's a Hitmonlee in a field. The next answer is a guy with a gun. And it says if Pokemon were real, people would hunt Pokemon for reasons other than playing Pokemon Go.

So it's just, we would kill them. Is that a real photo of an animal being shot with a gun? I don't want to think about it. Well, you won't be seeing that on our YouTube page, so who knows? Enjoy the censored icon. I think this may finish up our video game segment. Probably Pokemon being real is that it's not a sustainable environment.

Shut up. Shut up. Boo. No one cares about that. They've taken the Oval Office. Does he have some reasoning with that, or is it just like that's the statement? I already closed it.

Jeremy closed it in disgust, but we will pull it back up. The illogical elements of Pokemon from the fact that war turtles are supposed to live for centuries or that certain Pokemon are from dreams or random events makes Pokemon an ecosystem. Some of them are from dreams. Grow up. It's highly unlikely. Fuck you. We're going to see where you work.

Grow up. Fuck you, Andrew. Oh, he's a filmmaker. Yeah, that's right. We're all doing the same thing. Okay, great. I just like that answer. Someone was like, what if Pikachu was real?

And someone was like, he can't be. He's not. He's not. It's time to grow up. The amount of voltage contained within his cheeks is not possible. Doctor here, it's highly unlikely. For Pikachu to be real. Doctors react to Pokemon.

That's not real. A lot of hot series ideas today. I'm the Jade Goodall of Pokemon. That's not real. Okay. Let's go to our romance segment, Quoromance. Let's pull that up. Here we go.

Quoromance. Matt, one of the subjects that you said that you're an expert on is hentai. So I found this. That's what you said, Matt. That's what you said. The DM did not say that. if i remember correctly it was please only give me hentai questions if you want me at my most knowledgeable you said you know what i did say that well we have a lot of questions for you now

the comedy section ends and now this is just research reacts hentai doctor reacts hentai doctor reacts oh tsundere uh now i sifted through the hentai questions on quora and i found the the most legal ones i can ask so fantastic this question is is watching hentai acceptable for my christian beliefs hmm i mean it doesn't say it in the bible baby that's the ones that deal with devil worship which there is a sub-genre then no i would imagine if it doesn't deal with that I guess it would fall under the same grounds as just regular pornography

God's cool with you jacking off to cartoons as long as the devil's not in it it's been a while since I've been in theology school or an anime devil which is even more devilish he has bigger abs than the devil normal there is a weird loophole here

where you're almost like well it's not real people so maybe it's better for God God's into it. That's just drawings, baby. That's just using that brain I gave you. This is like a weird daddy God who watches you and is like, just go do what you want.

The heavenly daddy. I'm cool, God. You've been bad today. I'm going to send a flood. If you want to tour that anime hentai, you can do. That's the rights that I've given you. uh there is one answer there's two answers one person says since they're your beliefs you must decide boring useless and then there's pictures of hentai sent to him okay thank you uh and then

someone else says hentai meaning perversion equals lust then no and they have a bunch of things from i have that tattooed on my arm corinthians 6 13 you say food for the stomach and the stomach for food and god will destroy them both the body however is not meant for sexual immorality but for the lord who cares you'll notice if you are a subscriber to this show how much more is just us reading the bible every week well here's a good one because this one is from matthew 528 i assume i assume this is the book of matthew mcmuzzles and the quote is but i tell you it says anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart guess what there's no women in cartoons those are drawings

there you go and that's that's the book of matthew mcmuzzles it's it's one step above your just imagination and it's not even a huge step so like so i had this restaurant that was like where i used to live um just in the suburbs and it was just like where a few restaurants are clustered one restaurant i kid you not just its name is hentai it just says hentai on the interesting bar and sushi this is this is my roman empire and that i think about it at least five times going how what well you gotta read you gotta see the kanji on that one you gotta see what that one means is that someone that like hey i need to open up a restaurant and they're smart alecky 17 year old goes you should call it hentai it's a japanese word meaning tasty yeah they're like

okay let me do that or is someone just completely like hey i'm just gonna call it this and and the french language police will not be able to stop me because they're totally a thing here and they'll they'll be like oh that's that's an okay word i guess i don't know what that means and that's it it's closed down since i've never been inside because i was like i don't know what's in there this is a trap i will not be photographed walking into head tie i i hope it's your first option where there's just like the most cynical white devils in canada who are like yeah we're opening a japanese restaurant i don't know what the fuck's in there we'll take the first name suggested and then throw hamburgers on the menu but like walking through those doors like knowing

or assuming it is a restaurant is that a sin against your religious beliefs because you don't know what you're getting into when you go in there you don't know what's going to be in there Baby, you see it when you walk through the door. Yeah. So what's the answer? That was all the answers. They're all like, who cares? We have we have many more hentai questions for you.

Let's get to the ball. Fear not. OK, here's another hentai question, sir. I am addicted to hentai and I am losing interest in real girls. What should I do? Thank you for addressing me by my full title, sir. just just keep going on going on i don't hey keep rocking out there keep on trucking keep on rolling baby um fight through it runners call this the wall

um because because i'm assuming this person's not going to want to put the work in to to get back on the quote-unquote normal track um so i don't even know what i'd say i'd say just just do what works for you buddy sir not everyone takes the wife and kids route maybe you just live alone with hentai ain't nothing wrong with that ain't nothing wrong with that body pillows are not that expensive in today's economy so just go nuts buy as many as you want oh the beautiful girls on these pillows hey it's me god again you see how many pillows are out there this one has no answers drawings on a pillow i like what i see this one has no answer so i'm gonna answer for it i'm gonna give the first answer i'm gonna say just keep going just keep going just keep rocking on

just keep rocking on that uh and then our title is ceo of gilf of the week i don't remember what from last week i believe okay choose a credential just leave that one that's fine okay cool all right well let's do another hentai question there's nothing to say there up to this next one uh how can i fight my porn slash hentai addiction as a pagan i feel as if i can no longer enter valhalla interesting this is a time traveling viking do they do pagans believe in valhalla I think Vikings are allowed to jack off to whatever. That's Norse. No, but yeah, exactly.

Those are two different things, I'd like to think. I think from the Christian perspective, the Norse worshippers are pagans. Maybe they really like Mad Max Fury Road? Maybe they like Mad Max Fury Road. Anyway, you can still enter Valhalla. This is a common misconception. As long as you are a brave and strong warrior

and kill many foes and die in battle. If you're addicted to cartoon porn, it might make you an even braver, even stronger warrior. Keep on rocking. Something to fight for. Yes, something back home. I'm so into this guy who spends all day watching cartoon porn and is like, I just worry this will affect my combat strength.

When your fellow Vikings are like, what are you fighting for? And you're like, I got a cartoon back home. i got a warm pillow waiting she's probably cooking a nice stew for me right now my pillow that that pillow's fucking someone else uh the answer here is confusing alhalla isn't norse heaven you aren't chosen to go there based on morals it's literally just how good of a warrior you are also 98 percent or more of your pagan ancestors were normal people who went to hell.

Very different from Christian hell, so it might be better so go be with them. So go be with them, and by them I mean the hentai you watch. I do like that I should have put this under the religious category. Most of these are about religion in some way.

Yeah, we're learning a lot about Norse mythology. We have more hentai questions. We don't have to get stuck on this. It doesn't have to be just for vikings you could listen no matter what okay here's a relationship one for you alex this also has no answer so we can be the first to answer this crucial question what should i do if my husband chose hentai over me i've never been comfortable with him reading slash watching it he's known this so i gave him the choice between me and hentai obviously he chose the

latter i view pornography as cheating what the old ball and chain always watching hentai over my shoulder shaking her head i just like that she was like it's me or head tied he was just like hentai what are you talking about what are these 30 cartoon cheerleaders got that i ain't got is it a pact with the devil how can i compete with a camera that can show internally what's happening inside me it's true it's so gross there's like so much stuff in there that is not anything like sex at all um it's weird that the question is framed as it's me or hentai is that like was that on a particular date or was that like already the ultimatum like this is the final

answer for the rest of your life because those are that's heavy that because if it's the latter then yeah wow that guy that guy answered before the sentence was fully formed and asked it's between me and he was like hentai i'm picking hentai i don't care what you say next i love it i go to that restaurant every day he thought it was the sushi she was talking about he just loves tuna rolls classic miscommunication um so back the question so this is confusing thing about quora is uh the questions are usually the first sentence is a question and then some like add on bullshit after uh this one's like that the question is what should i do if my

husband chose hentai over me and i think the answer is to become a hentai yeah there you go start learning the how do you say it a hego face i don't watch this stuff that was my best a hego face is that how you say it yeah you're nailing it baby you're nailing it um so you had to learn it we're in the moves yeah put in some effort for your cartoon loving husband how about hire an artist to draw a hentai of the wife that's a good idea as a gift to said the wife shouldn't have to do this this is ridiculous she should leave him it's clearly not a match but for the purposes of this show uh the answer would be hire hentai artists see if that like is a transitional element to real sex step one save up some money

this is gonna take a while you're gonna have to hire an animator you need a man to draw you sexually there's there's there's hentai animators that just have patrons and they'll just do like a 30 second that's right um one of them is peter parker i have not i have not done this but you have to believe me 30 seconds i'm sure it's reasonably priced and yeah that's but if this was in the 2000s then yeah she's she's spending a mil easy yeah production started you're going to a studio casting there you know there'd be a lot of back-end costs there you have to go to the non-union voice actors get goku to do your sexy voice okay well uh leave him you're not a match and he is going to hell yeah he's going to hell but it's the pagan yeah nor is hell where all of

his ancestors are so that's fine he sits at the table with odin um okay i think this is our last one uh i think this should be our last one okay we have another one we probably shouldn't do on the internet okay okay uh this will be the last one in hentai anime like mistreated bride rink and club otami dory household names you know such as like brad pitt uh women are shown to give in to pleasures. Are real women just faking emotions like trust? Trust is a good example of an emotion women are faking. They're all just faking trust.

Emotions, happiness, anger, trust. In all the cartoons I watch, women like getting fucked. But the women I meet don't like it. Are they all liars? Why does lying come to women so easily? this one has no answers either i i like that there's an answer it starts with okay a wild guess no this is for a different that's for a different question yeah quora is a bad website

can i just say that again it's very hard to use um so are real women faking emotions like trust we asked the podcast i say they're not um i'm an ally i can see that this question was was added by anonymous but i can see that it originally came with a video that is now for some reason it's no longer on youtube and i'm sure it was copyright strike doctors reacting to to head dive being like that can't happen that's not no you can't burn the inside of your asshole for three feet doctor here and he's just jacking off

it's like they're the human body can't grow that many penises and tentacles out of it it's just there's no medical history that shows it um yeah no i don't think real women are about that stuff um at the same time if it this is this is the most serious question in the sense that this guy like not watches hentai but believes in it it's a peter pan situation right exactly exactly so i i think the question is is hard to even answer that because i don't think this guy would like the answers anyway this question has no answers on it but i'm going to request an answer from dr jordan peterson and see if that does anything and we'll check it a function quora does let you we literally tag people in other questions the real jordan peterson this question

and then maybe he'll answer he's received he does use the website he will be receiving it seems up his alley and we want to know if in hentai like mistreated bride rinkan club otome dory women will never be as good as rinkan club oh doctor here it's impossible to mistreat a bride okay we shouldn't do the last one no we shouldn't do let's ask a question do we have any matt do you have any questions you want to ask quora.com have you ever you have a burning question that you've always wanted to ask but you never knew where to turn for answers hand me on the spot Do you have any questions? I love to ask questions.

Okay. We will have to answer it next week at the beginning of our episode. So we might not want to do another hentai episode. The two in a row does seem like a lot. How about just why isn't Godzilla in any hentai? All right, fine. I'm sure he is. i see the question you had written out there was is there are anime waifus that are drawn to like

they kind of have godzilla armor on like so it's like their head inside the godzilla's mouth that's a whole other thing now have people animated scenes around those characters that i don't know uh that i don't know not an expert i don't know this is a pure creature you can't you can't besmirch um i would maybe thinking of amending our question to be more open-ended so we don't get so stuck on hentai next week and just changing it to what if godzilla had a human girlfriend okay that's a great question that's one of the great questions of our time what if Godzilla had a human girlfriend.

I'm going to predict that a lot of people are going to correct us and say Godzilla is a woman, and I'm going to say, so what? So what? Tag Jordan Peterson. It's 2023. Put it online. Godzilla is a they-them, first of all. And in the 1998 American Matthew Broderick film,

Godzilla is asexual in that film, so there you go. The Godzilla in that one has eggs, right? There's the whole scene with the eggs. yeah they're like oh there's this lizard in Guatemala that is asexual and just lays life finds a way which is why it's an error when people

say Godzilla now there's a whole lot of woman and they need to stop saying stuff like that well that's going to be the end of the podcast for today we had a lot of fun here Matt thanks so much for coming on where can our viewers find you at home

and abroad well I am a white overweight man with a beard so you can find me on youtube where i uh where i review uh bad fighting games on my channel matt mcmuscles and also tell you what happened with the game developments of certain games that were complete disasters that talk to the developers and get the inside baseball on that stuff so yeah that's pretty much it i also do another podcast myself all about fighting games uh coincidentally enough called uh triple ko with uh two gentlemen that are much more well-versed in the subject than me, Justin Wong and Maximilian dude.

So yeah, dude, check that out. These are three strong men. We are also on youtube.com. Check out our podcast where it comes out every Monday. If you would like an additional podcast every Thursday, we have more of those on patrion.com slash core Raiders.

That is also where we go on Reddit and other websites and stuff. Yeah. That's what goes on over there. You get it. That's it. That's it. All right. That's been the show another week.

I'm dusting my hands of it. Bye. Bye.