Quorators - Why Is It Bad To Eat In A Toilet? w/ Jordan Olds

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Why don't girls like heavy metal? Is it weird that I enjoy drawing pictures of famous atheists burning in hell? Why Is There Time? ---- Watch the show on http://youtube.com/@quorators Check out Two Minutes To Late Night, Jordan's show about rockin and rollin https://www.youtube.com/c/twominutestolatenight 

do you know the sting story about gordon no okay in an interview one time please tell us in an interview one time uh like a press person asks is gonna ask sting a question and he calls him gordon he's like so gordon and before the question comes out of his mouth sting goes stop my wife calls me sting my mother calls me sting do not call me gordon wow that's crazy that his mom calls him sting mom calls him that seems wrong sting it should be wrong but also that's so fuck it like eight-year-old me would been would have been like fuck yes yeah choose your own nickname my friend rules who calls me jcap asked my dad if he calls me jcap and my dad was like no that's insane i think you're saying like he's getting your father's permission to call you

J-Cab. My dad calls me Sting. I think he's going to marry you. Parents should call their children Sting. Why did we just have our nicknames for last week? I feel like I was Spanky. Spanky and something. Did you pick your own nickname? No. It came up organically. They kind of naturally matched

our personalities, actually. It's too bad we've lost them both in translation and no one can recover them. As soon as I record any podcast, it's gone immediately. It sucks and A podcast is a fugue state Yeah Even listen to a podcast

I'm like I know people are talking But I honestly If I'm on a train I can't tell you what happened That's why I can't listen to audiobooks Speaking of Alright Yeah

There's that sound We're back with Quarators, another week of your favorite show on Quora.com Quarators And I'm your host, and I'm Alex, and this is Jeremy And I'm Jeremy, how's it going? And Jeremy is your host, welcome to the show, live on YouTube.com And other streaming available platforms We have a hell of a guest for you today

If you are in the kitchen, you probably shredded some cheese Well, this man shreds the guitar, and that's why we have Jordan Olds on the show from the Two Minutes to Late Night program. Jordan, welcome. I love that you called it a program. All right, that feels so professional. It does.

It is professional. Would you refer to what you do as a program? I do every week. Incredible. I would say that Two Minutes is probably the most professional show in the New York comedy world. We see the music videos you guys make, and we go, Oh, they should be up in lights.

You've never lost the video of your two-minute show. Is that true? I was about to say, yeah. We've lost so many. Literally, I'm going to see a band tonight that I had to make them re-record a thing because I lost it. Nice. That's pretty bad. It was my own fault.

I'm not gonna say Who it is Because It's Sting Like It's Sting Was that recorded? Do we have the Sting bit?

No we have the whole thing We have Sting We have the Sting bit It's locked in I'm not going to call Who it happened to Gordon Because

Their name is Sting Their name is His wife calls him Sting His mother calls him Sting Don't call him Gordon I'm just imagining You're locked in An intimate copulation

And you just hear Oh Sting And that's The feeling from that. This is a reference. Imagine someone calling you by like your childhood nickname. Which was? Your whole life.

Fuzzy. Fuzzy? Really? Because I was always touching people's hair. That's weird. Yeah, no, it's not endearing, really. I mean, it's fine for a child. It's not something you want to hear as an adult.

No. Fuzzy is in jail. That actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Fuzzy didn't make it. out of his hometown oh boy he made some bad decisions there's an old episode of the batman cartoons where batman gets mind controlled and when he snaps out of it this is going to come

back and be relevant right he snaps out of it they say how did you know you're being mind controlled and he said because my thoughts called me bruce and in my head i only call myself batman i remember that that's sting and that is that's batman and that's fuzzy i don't want to i never should have given anyone the ammunition to use it against me. Have you always been J-Cap, then? No. I only really have one friend who calls me J-Cap, and he calls me J-Cap so much that people think my name is Jacob, which is the worst.

I was going to bring that up. If you say it too much, it's Jacob. Which is a terrible name. J-Cap. It's a biblical name. I don't want to be Jacob. The worst of the two Twilight boyfriends. Yeah.

Yeah. For being on it. Absolutely. Well, we don't like to get political on here, Jordan. That's not what we do. It's a two-party system. You have to pick one. I think Edward and Jacob both have great things they bring to the table.

And, you know, depending on where you were born, you're going to like one of them. Yeah. But that's actually not what the show is about this week. The show is about... Honestly, yeah. What is the show? The show is... I'm glad you asked.

The show is about a little place called Quora.com, the website for questions. And, Jordan, we got to ask before we get into this whole crazy thing. Have you been on Quora? I have not. When I first heard of it, I was like, okay, it's QAnon Yahoo Answers. I'm assuming a lot of people have said that. No. Really?

But it is. I mean, it's not wrong. When you first hear the title of it, it's like, well, that sounds like questions exclusively for QAnon participants. It does. And those are cherry picked by the lying media. And that's what's happening there. Damn. but um it is essentially a facebook where you are encouraged to put your posts in the format

of a question and because it is facebook and people are dumb all of the questions are dumb yeah and that's essentially what you're getting that is essentially what the hard like hard melissa a character in two minutes that's essentially what her game is is we take when she interviews a band we take their negative youtube comments and put a question mark at the end of it yeah that's the whole bit that's what that's quora's whole bit yeah it is but with thoughts of adult people incredible in my drive to keep the gordon sting riff i did not replace your wire and i'm regretting it now is it too late to do that wait hold it just hit the pause thing that's um so pretty much here's the show we're gonna read you quoras yep we're going to answer

them together and find out life's questions love it and at the end we are going to make a question that we then review at the start of the next episode fuck yes it's a really good idea this this week i think this week we're gonna nail it okay um we have a question from our guest jango from last week this is just a question that he had and hopefully he tunes in to get the answer oh he's definitely tuning in right now i feel it uh his question was if you have a gun and turn the safety off is red the safety on or off now i don't really know what that means you grab my is red the safety on or off red you're dead right and that's the thing if only you were here last week um so this kind of question is dangerous because it does open us up to a world of dunking

from people who can directly answer a very simple question i think that that's the thing though like If it's off, then it's... I thought that was for bowls. Probably. For bowls? Yeah, everyone bowls. See red. Oh, bowls.

How did you say it? I heard bowls. I was thinking like a cereal bowl. I also thought it was a cereal bowl. I'm from Boston, and our bowl pronunciation there is all over the place. It makes a lot of sense. It's actually my culture, and it's not hate. It's not hate.

It's not hate. listen to yourself i love jfk rolling i just love it we hope to have her back on the show i was trying to think of like a jk rolling jk simmons thing but it's just like jk jk rolling yeah or whatever and he's just and also just like what would that be like that'd be nice miss branch get me a vulva get me pictures of your genitals Ten points from Tempo It's funny that like that's what J.K. Rowling is now Like it's not even like JFK plus Harry Potter

It's just Boston accent transphobe Like that's the character That's the whole character Well that's all she should be That's all she should be Someone else can write a boy wizard whatever Absolutely Like what if there was a magical boy

You're wearing a shirt of a magical child I am wearing a shirt of a magical child Thank you for noticing I think it's pretty dope. I think it is dope. Is it a rucking fatten? It is. Incredible.

It took me three months to get in the mail. Shout out to rucking fatten. If you'd like to support the Quarriorator's podcast, send me more anime. Send me more anime in the mail. I'm very easy to buy. Anyway, yeah, I think the red dot means you kill guys. Yeah, that's what it means. This question's too easy.

One person says red means danger. Red means blood. Well, it does. Jordan, you're scaring the cat. Red means blood. It does mean blood. Or fire, as the answer also says. I guess so.

No scrambled eggs in any of these, by the way. This one had scrambled eggs. Oh, okay. One person said red means the safety is off. Okay, yeah, that's what that means. And the gun will fire. Well, red means you're dead. Red means blood.

Right. Red means blood. Red means blood. Red, white, and blue-blooded American. Ooh. I don't... So we tell... Okay, okay.

We tell our listeners to put scrambled eggs so that that's their code so that we know it's not a true Quora person. Right. We can't distinguish them on the website. This one had a very long answer with no scrambled eggs, but I did find it. No scrambled eggs is right there. I found the scrambled eggs. Nobody panic. We will not read a long answer.

Sorry. Close one. I love a long answer. You don't want to? Oh, you're going to love this website and every other question we're about to read you. Let's get into them. Okay. But, yeah, that was a pretty basic one.

It was a good warm-up. I feel like I know about guns now. Me too. Let's get into our first segment here, and this is, of course, our incel and manosphere questions in our segment, The Quokker. Ooh. Welcome to The Quokker.

It's like the Joker, but for Quorra. And this is the Naruto music. Why don't girls like heavy metal? Huh. Quorra asks... Jordan, have you found this, that girls don't like heavy metal? Do you want me to answer Carefully Jordan

Am I We're not fucking around over here You don't have to do it in like Character as a Quora user if that's what you're asking Well here's the thing Women want to be the ones doing The shouting Like when you're at home

And the wife is yelling That's her thing That's her thing That's her thing. It is her thing. Well, I mean, in this case, it's kind of my thing. Men shouldn't get to until they're on stage with their metal friends. Right.

So that's men shouting time, and then the women are like, another thing adopted by men, huh? That's an interesting theory. I was thinking women just avoid heavy things because their arms are smaller and it's belabored to carry something so heavy. Of course. Yeah, and I think, yeah, just that, and I think their brains are small, and they can't understand all the notes. It's too many notes. I had a very racist roommate in college who literally was like, well, metal is technically the smartest music because it is most complicated. People are always playing their baby's metal so that they'll learn how to thrash.

And then he would say such horrible things that I will not repeat on this podcast. I just love, I love that. do you like you have a super violent two-year-old never was like what happened and you're like well every time when he went to sleep we would play uh slipknot if he woke up slamming uh uh trash can instead of like beethoven or we played this little genius vivaldi followed by a dying fetus not to play dying fetus to a fetus to a living fetus when you to a living when you said i had a racist roommate and then you did like a quote of him, I was waiting for

the racist part. No. You could just then infer. I mean, yeah, I could name things. He was a very, very conservative person. You don't have to name them. We're doing misogyny right now. Yeah, that's true.

We're not doing racism. Racistly. He loved women. If you're into racism, be sure to check out Quora.com. They have a lot for you on here. i'm noticing a lot of the answers are like girls girls being like i do like rock i am a girl i like rock and roll this one it's an aggressive music high in testosterone the same reason why guys are not into k-pop it's aimed at young girls of course there are a lot of girls who are into metal but

the aggressiver and more extreme it gets the less girl audience it has see this doesn't totally make sense but it does have 22 up quoras so people are just like yeah I agree I don't like women and then one guy of course has to be like I'm finding photographic evidence to prove you wrong and I like this

guy who says this notion that women can't get into heavy metal is laughably false haha I'm laughing at how false that is where's the photo there's a picture of a woman was that it was he did he come with reasoning why it's yeah he says i'm glad you asked there are plenty of women who absolutely fucking love heavy metal and there are plenty of women actually in the metal scene who are insanely badass and talented hey yeah yeah

it's true and then he names a bunch of bands all right do the do the other quoker okay this is a good one this is the good one the good one this is from scott olinger well this has no answer this It says no answers, but I thought it was a really good question. It says 10 answers, though, apparently. Because those are all from different questions. Look. Why is it bad to eat in a toilet? Why is it bad to eat in a toilet?

Do you think this is sitting on a toilet? No, right? The question is, Jeremy, why is it bad to eat in a toilet? So you have to imagine they're like, what about a soup, though? What if you clog it, empty it, throw some chicken noodle soup in the toilet, and you're just spooning it out like a dog? Well, if you have a clean toilet, that's fine. if you're eating in an army toilet like that.

They're always saying it has to be clean enough to eat off of. That's true. And we already went over what would happen if your drill sergeant caught you dragging off last week. Oh. And the answer is he wouldn't do nothing. He wouldn't do nothing. He understands it.

You're all together. You're all men. You have needs. You got to get it. You got to get the release any way you can. There's two ways to get it out. You come or you kill. We're not killing until next week.

Can we please focus on this important toilet question? I think there are two modes of analysis here. One is you eat inside the toilet. Like you were saying, like Ratatouille style, you are exploring the toilet. Okay. Or, you know, like, oh, I don't have any friends at work. I have to eat in a toilet stall. I don't want anybody to see me.

Oh, toilet stall. Yeah, I think that's the question is like, why is that bad? Because it's so clean in there. i think it is like in the toilet is like when like my aunt says it and she means the whole bathroom right and it's like i i clearly this is a a a human i was gonna say gentleman but it literally could be anything it could be anyone under the sun be anyone it's what we do know it could be me or you it's which of us likes to shit and eat at the same time i have not yet resorted to posting my own quaras and then reading them that will be a dark

arc for this show well except for that one in the beginning but yeah if you're asking this question the act of shitting and eating at the same time is not right a prop already not a problem don't shit where you eat that's a famous expression famous expression and this person already disagrees with that because of the question sure and so i can only imagine they're like what besides the that part what are the downsides of eating on the toilet and for me it would be when you drop your sandwich in the toilet water it's a real thing that could happen to you you could drop your sandwich right in the toilet water and then you got a wet sandwich if we're assuming it's anything like staying in the toilet too long to play games on your phone because you're at work

you are going to eventually drop whatever you're holding into i have brought that from like an office environment into my own home it's the most common thing to do at your home it's and it is a it is thing it's absolutely a thing we developed from going to work and we brought that literally brought that shit into our house the toilet is somewhat and i use that in the english sense somewhat of a uh fortress of solitude for me and that whenever i just don't want to be in a social situation i am drawn to it like a magnet like after i order food at a restaurant, I always want to be like, all right, going to hang out in the bathroom.

How about we meet back here in like 16 minutes? I will see you with some fresh reddits in mind. And then, you know, you have that beaten out of you by society. A society that doesn't understand because it's cold and it's cruel. But

I think that you hit the nail on the head. The danger is the water. The danger is the water. The land. I'm thinking fumes. The objects of land cannot live in water, and because of the poop fumes that can drift around them. But again, the question is already being asked. So, I think

that you gotta take it as poop fumes like piss and shit aside, what are the dangers of eating on the toilet? I think it's dropping your food. And then you gotta eat it.

You're not gonna throw away a nice big hoagie. You gotta eat. You made the decision to eat In the toilet. You're going to eat your toilet. You got to eat your wet doo-doo sandwich. You have to. You got to eat what you made.

You got to eat what you made. It came out of you. So you did find some answers for this. Yeah, I did. I think the main answer is really it's antisocial and it's rude. A lot of people are disagreeing. Be with people instead of toilet. There's a man named David Aldred who says.

David Aldred. David Aldred. David Aldred is a, that's a British VO artist. Hello, I'm David Aldridge And this is why you should not Because what he says is Because you and your food will get wet So he's on the exact same page as you

David, David Aldridge You're my guy I'm on the same page as you, man We can look up David Aldridge if we want Let's see You're not going to believe where this man is from Yorkshire Yes!

Oh my god I was just about to say Yorkshire You cut out a little bit. I did cut out a little bit, but I was about to say Yorkshire, and I want to have that on the record. He is not a voice actor. He does storyboarding. Okay.

Which is, like, so close. So close. What a call. And you got to do it. Right. Yorkshire, it's more of a this. I truly have no idea. It's more northern.

Have you hopped across the pond, Jordan? I'm about to go across the pond for the first time. Oh, my God. So you know about this even pre-pond. pre-pot i love the different yeah like what what like you hear them and you're like that's hilarious where's that more of this how yeah like you it goes like beatles down and it slowly gets the rules down it's beatles down northern because it's north and it's is uh uh oh my god what is it The Beatles accent.

Oh, the boys from Liverpool. The lads from Liverpool. And then you go down and you got Yorkshire and then... It's like I'm there. It's like I'm closing my eyes and I'm there. Yeah. You're hanging out with David Aldred of East Riding. It's like Brexit never happened.

We Brentered. I refuse to brent brentron's way yeah cut that out of the show i don't want brentard in there brentard no no it's too controversial yeah um okay yeah he's uh he says because it'll get wet sure greg greg mckee says i've not heard this are you sure eating at a toilet is one of wife's simple pleasures keep it up this is my guy up for you my good sir this guy likes it when it gets wet This is what the Andrew WK album is all about

It's all about eating in the toilet I'll see you at SeaWorld, my good friend I get wet I'd be getting wet I didn't realize you liked to get wet David Eldred Training day I love to get wet

I get a little sloppy When I'm getting toppy I give it a dunk shall we move on to our other eight questions sure yeah i see you combing this desperately everyone just saying that you're gonna get poop on your food i i i do think it'll be really funny uh when this the toilet section of the show is nothing but angry comments about how i'm wrong like no but here's the thing i don't know i haven't been there yet yeah i'll go and then You know what?

Give us that engagement. Yeah. We love it. Yeah. We love to be here. Send us videos of your British accents. Yeah. Please.

Tell me how I'm wrong. It's okay. He won't know until next week. All right. Let's do some forbidden knowledge. Hit that. Oh, hell yeah. Hit it.

There we go. Here we are on forbidden knowledge, the number one Quora segment where we address the forbidden, the things that they don't want you to know. All right. This is from Austin Mullins. This is a question I think that should be very easy to answer. The question is, why is there time? Why is there time?

Good question, man. Fuck. We're saying red is blood and dead, but what if the red I'm seeing is not the red that you're seeing? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. What is time? Why is there time, man?

What is there time? I believe Sartre wrote this quote. Whose idea was it to have time? I think first thing I would say is that there is not time. That would be what I would say first. That's such a funny answer, Doug. There isn't. There isn't.

Wrong. Incorrect. Do it again. If you read the- Why is there time? What are you talking about? There's not. Everything is paused.

You're going to have a hard time because if you read this answer, you will learn. Sure. Should I read it? And that's a real risk. Yeah. You know what? For once, let's read it. Let's learn.

Time seems enigmatic, but it is not. In yet another answer, I will try to dispel the seemingly mysterious nature of time. The pacing of events exists because of the limited speed of causality, which we call the speed of light. Photons propagate at the speed of light between their emission site and absorb. This is so boring. I don't care. There's a lot more. I don't want to hear you do this.

I was on board. I knew exactly what that guy was talking about. Similarly, all particles of matter are ephemeral minuscule pockets of energy that propagate for a very short distance of time. Do you want Jordan to know why there's time? There isn't. I also don't think there's time. I don't think it's real. I think time is mass.

I'm pretty sure. I'm calling it now. We're not going to figure this out for another thousand years, but I'm pretty sure time is mass. Yeah. And light is mass. Yeah. Yep.

I loved how that guy just went off and was just, Like, an explanation like that, just saying all the possible correct stuff, but in a way that is just unintelligible by the person that asked the question. Yes, yes. Like, that person is going to be like, I don't know what a proton means in this context. Yeah. It won't matter. I've had 14 beers tonight. I don't want to read your science book.

I just want to know, why is there time? Why is there time? Why is there time? I ask a very simple question. Science man. Science man with your coat. That reminds me of one of my favorite things that ever happened in comic books. There was a comic book adaptation of the original George Lucas draft of Star Wars.

Yes. And it's so fascinating. yeah it's called the star wars and when i first heard about it i was like that's fucking hilarious hell yes and then you read it and it's even funnier because it's you can't read it and it's such a good idea for a comic book that no one can get through because it's too boring and it's too unwell written it's not very funny this is like that's why they didn't make it like that that's why george lucas's wife was like you gotta like you gotta hire somebody you got me i'll do it look i have a simple idea there's a dog guy he's chewbacca that's a film

sick put take a car make the wheels green we'll scrub it out perfect chewbacca why is there time correct answer what's your best Chewbacca I have been meaning to get out into that as a podcast let's hear it I just did mine oh hello

oh my crossbow oh I'm Chewbacca it's me Chewbacca your friend from Liverpool you're going to have a great time next week I think you're going to have a great time. Yeah.

No one's even going to know you're from out of town. No one's even going to know you're from out of town. Okay, okay. So Quora is the marketplace of ideas. So we've read one good answer. Now let's read another good answer from the other side of the aisle. Beautiful. This is from T. Stephen Cornelius.

There's no way to know who's right and who's wrong here. What a sick fucking name. He's probably right. T. Stephen Cornelius. T. Stephen Cornelius, much smarter than the other guy. He says, so Sundial and watchmakers have a job, or AI and your phone tell you your battery is running out, so you hurry with more. Tired cues? Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.

Killing spree. My man's on a roll. So he says the reason for time is for watchmakers to have a job. It's all a big watch. Yeah. Ask yourself, cu-cu-bono when you read a clock. Time was invented by capitalism to make you work for eight hours. It's so true.

We're all blowing our paychecks on these clocks. 1,000%. What are you trying to click, Alex? I was waiting until there was a good moment to air horn, but there wasn't one. There's always a good moment to air horn. You'll be hearing it again. Don't worry.

Jordan, do not touch the buttons. I like the air horn and the kill one. The setup could just expire at any minute. What does that one do? The headphones on this show are not fully plugged in, so it's all a dance. It can't be. We could lose the video at any moment. I love that we're all wearing headphones in this space where they're barely plugged in.

This is great. Well, you need them to hear the air horn. I do need to hear that your mic is not working. Yeah. Very important. It's great. It kind of sounds like I have the same mic as Phoenix Ray. Objection!

Doesn't it sound as crackly as I am? Yeah. No, you sound fine. Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. Everybody's doing great. We all sound good.

You all sound really good. Everyone's great. I know because I'm wearing the headphones. Yeah. Yeah, and you look good. Producer Waffles does a great job. He's off camera. You can't see him.

Jeremy's going to take a picture. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. This is another question. This is from Michael Hutz, and it is, Why are bullets so dangerous? Why are bullets so dangerous? I think it's because they are what gets shot out of guns.

That really is. I mean, that is the answer. It's because they're going so freaking fast. I'm going to say the same answer that we said last time. They aren't. Bullets alone, barely dangerous. What was that response you got to the JFK question last week? Like, guns don't kill people.

Bullets kill people. Because you said JFK was killed by a gun, And then someone on YouTube commented, no, he wasn't. It's a bullet. He was killed by a bullet. I have literally never heard that one before. That made me laugh a lot. Yeah.

It's just being needlessly pedantic. But in all seriousness. You know what? That's a very good point. It was a bullet. Like, if JFK was shot with a powder musket, still be here. Yeah. If someone threw a gun at him, he would be fine.

That's what they want you to think. He's got a tough head. This is why the gun argument is stupid. yeah this is what i'm saying this is what we're all saying this is what all three of us are saying in a non-ironic context speaking genuinely this is why the gun this is why it's not necessary this is all i want to say and can i just if jfk had a sniper he could have shot we harvey oswald first that's all i'm saying right sorry and it would have been the bullets fault yeah i don't want to joke around all the time on the podcast bullets are so dangerous because they're so fast

and that if you were that fast you'd be dangerous so maybe think about that before you come come at bullets all the time do you think like yeah this is what i'm saying if we just banned all the bullets it would be fine because then sure everybody would just they'd still have their guns and it looks sick they look fucking so sick and dope yeah that but they'd be you know it wouldn't be a problem if everyone just had walking staves around the same length as like an ar i think we could all attain a level of respect that is currently outside of our paradigm and this the issue is then you can point it and then murder someone at it jfk would still be around he'd be i don't know how old 120 or something and he'd look terrible 120 he was also so sick he was i mean not

only was he sick because he's boston's finest but uh he also was like yellow with jaundice never thought it was a tan yeah yeah he uh and he still got fucked every goddamn day oh every goddamn day that's the other thing he said he's sick but he was he he his sick dick his dick was not sick we go we would have had 120 more years of scandals or whatever yeah anyway bullets are good for you What are we talking about? Bullets of time. Read the question. They're dangerous because they're fast.

Hello there. Thanks for asking this question. I'm glad you're interested in understanding why bullets can be so dangerous. As an expert on this subject, I can tell you that bullets are dangerous for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, bullets are designed to cause damage. That'll do it. That'll do it. Great illustration, by the way, of the difference between a bullet and shrapnel on this thread.

and uh there's apparently a big difference this guy goes on for a while he says also they can cause physical uh they can cause like hearing damage because the bullets yeah the hearing damage in the video in video game terms that's like magic damage sure aoe you take physical and magic if you push any object into your ear you can cause hearing i just had to do john wick he gets a gun fired next to his head 100 times and does not seem to mind there's also a dog in it all the time. The dog's like, I love having a gun fired next to my head. I do it every day. Also, twist ending, this guy is a cop

by the way. That is not a twist ending. That's the normal ending for most ones. A question asked by a cop and answered by a cop. Hi, thanks for asking. I've killed many with bullets. That's probably why they're dangerous. That's why they're dangerous. It's because I

have them. They're in my deadly hands. I have them. They're dangerous because of me. That's really good have you ever like considered being diablo have you ever tried el diablo i'm like you're like i'm like your mom's friend at the party i'm like jordan you should play diablo you should be the devil you should be diablo and diablo have you ever considered being the devil you know what as a jew sometimes to most people yes you don't have to start as diablo you can get a starting position as maybe Belial, the Lord

of Lies, or one of his many friends. The Archangel Gabriel for a time. Just put in your hours. I actually did not know that. There's a little helper devil. There's like a buddy. I mean, Diablo has many bosses. He has many friends. Are you talking about the video games? Yeah, the video

games. I mean, also the guy. Jordan and I, as Jews, we assume that you're just talking about from the Bible. Oh, Goyim talk. By the way, we're renaming the show. Goyim talk. this actually is going to be very handy in a minute when we get to our next uh it's kind of both and i think you have what it takes thank you yeah yeah you got the devil

you got the spark oh i listen i got fired from that video game network but i can still be a part of a video game it's true what are they blizzard yeah blizzard i'll take your uh blood money or whatever red is the blood it is the red or whatever a company that's done nothing wrong nothing wrong at all blizzard activision blizzard everything's on the up and up don't ask any questions especially on quora what's the next question i remember i took an economics class in high school and they asked us to do like a report of what stock we thought would go up and I was like, I think Blizzard will go up because they make so many good video games. Everyone is going to buy their great games.

Are you serious? Yeah. You were right as hell. And I was right. And they shamed me. I did this game too, and I did Marvel. Really? Yeah, and they blew up.

So we're both two very smart gentlemen. Two businessmen. Two businessmen live on Goyum Talk. We're going to change it to a business podcast. You heard it here. invest in the state of the entertainment industry is directly responsible to the middle school papers jeremy i did this to us i was in high school and i was told i was wrong you can only make a proper movie by taking a budget from disney and shooting in atlanta because of jeremy

it was his idea in the in the what is it called the stock market game or whatever you guys know this is yeah it was a stock market game yeah yeah you did a little game and what is the stock market but a game we're all eating well here we're all eating well here what is time but a game doesn't exist doesn't exist though all right we have a million more answers here just like because if you shoot them from a gun they will put a hole in a body it is funny what questions people blow off of this website and then other ones which are like they why are they dangerous i have four paragraphs for you i have a long answer on this bullet question this quarrel seems to have been deleted what which one is it it just doesn't seem to work what happens if you shower with someone

you don't know so this was emailed to me what happens if you take a shower with someone you don't know and i put it in the doc because the top answer was like nothing which i thought was very funny but now when you click it it doesn't seem to work i mean are people saying nothing because it's like, well, if you're at the gym, you shower with people you don't know all the time. It was basically like that. And I remember there was a few people who were like, I'll try it and let you know, but I can't.

I think there's a Stalin-style crackdown on the horny posters on this website who are doing fake questions just to set off erotic fanfic on the threads. There's a lot of horny stuff on Quora. And so stuff that's like, what if a boy banged his mom or whatever? That's all taken out.

What would you shower with a stranger? i think we could all answer from our personal experience and then yeah when i went to camp i went to all boys sleepaway camp and they would just make a shower like in a big room with like eight people there and there was no wall or anything thank you for sharing that and it was just you could see it from outside it was crazy yeah what was it like in there it's probably nuts oh it was great dude we were all jacking each other off right i would be as you should i was so terrified of being forced to shower with a bunch of boys when i was in middle school and i never had to do it i i just had to do it at camp but you know what that's like probably the one

time we showered the whole summer yeah yeah we're just like get in there get in there yeah you're nasty you're greasy little hogs we're only gonna get them clean if they're all in one room and we wash them all at the same time what do you think this is goyim talk get in there oh my god jeremy when we started going i did assume this was a jewish summer camp and that was wrong i was actually like the only jew there really yeah it was a science camp oh okay i built explains your background now as a powerful scientist yes mighty uh yeah i did a lot of science stuff too and now science is all about taking a shower at the end of the day oh yeah with strangers yeah what's the probability that you will have to do that in 100 an ancient rome very high

in one of their famous bath houses here's the thing i can't tell you what will happen with a stranger but the one what will happen if you shower with a stranger the one thing i will guarantee is that you will get clean that's for sure okay yeah the one the shower stuff is locked in i will say there's an 85 chance that you will take a shower yeah you're gonna get wet that will happen in most scenarios is you will have soap on your body and then you will wash it off and then rinse off and you won't unless you get scared and you don't use the soap and that is i think the number one concern when you make a bunch of boys shower together is they're just they're spraying and and praying yeah also the 25 isn't everybody a stranger if you think about it we're all strange

do we know anybody i don't when you take a shower you two i'm alex this is jeremy this is four raiders i've been to alex patak's house yeah that's right and it did not look like this it It was just a different apartment. I'm telling you. There was a fridge that I couldn't go near because the cat was on top of it. It's the same one. It's the same cat. Was it the same fridge?

He's asleep in a Pelican case. You moved the fridge up? No, we changed the part. I feel like this is so clear. We were in a different room, but now we're in this room. I'm all confused. What is there to be confused about? Let's ask a question.

Let's read a question. Yeah, read a question. Okay. This one is from nobody. Okay. So this is framed like a philosophical treatise, which I like about it. Dairy is unethical, but any decrease in dairy demand will result in killing of more cows. Isn't it technically more vegan to consume dairy than not consuming it?

I'm a vegan myself. Let me know if my new concept have a logical loophole. Hey, ring that bell if my new concept have a logical loophole. Okay. So don't be afraid to subscribe if my new concept have a logical loophole. It's more dairy to consume. Wait, what? It's more vegan to consume dairy than not consuming it.

He does not explain this in the slightest. No, he does not. It's more vegan? What does that mean in this context? Being vegan is a vibe. And so if I'm sure not participating in the dairy process, that's vegan. But then also this one doing it in me. off i'm sorry to hear that what i'd really like about it is that it's written like a socrates

question but it's just like a dumb guy more vegan to eat cheese when you think about it and my i guess like my redefining of the word i just i remember being in math classes where i'd very confidently show people the wrong answer and this feels a lot like that yeah so wait is he's i'm trying to put it together okay so he's saying that like in his mind veganism is just about purely protecting the animal so by eating more cheese and thus making sure that the farms don't kill all the cows that they are making cheese from he's protecting the animals more by eating the cheese but also no he isn't because he's a vegan Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

It's short-term thinking is what it is because they kill those cows. But the thing is, they kill all the cows anyway, and they turn them into tasty hamburgers. So really, I mean. The cows aren't loving it. They're not like, oh, I'm so happy people are eating my cheese. I don't know if you've seen these Chick-fil-A commercials, but these cows are not loving it. They're sickos. They don't know how to spell.

Oh, no, it's the chickens who are. No, it's the cows who are mean in the Chick-fil-A commercials. Yeah, they're trying to get you to eat the chicken. I love that this guy. They spell it wrong. What's that? They spell it wrong in the Chick-fil-A. They sure do.

That makes me so mad when people have animals spell things wrong. Sorry. I don't know why this bothers me so much. They don't have education. Because I'm like, the animals can't talk anyway. Why are you going to make them talk like that? Aren't you impressed they learned to read and write to begin with? This already is pretty great.

Corn spelled their name wrong, and they're people. They could just do it. I mean, they write like they're cows. Right. Right. i love that i love a i love this type of question where it's like yeah don't i'm actually helping by eating cheese as opposed to like no like let's fight the farming industry to have more yeah it's true of literally anything right like yeah any any issue where it's like boycott that

it's like well won't that actually make it worse we'll make it worse because of the way that everything's set up it's like no this is what we want to change the whole part with all of it is worse it's really grounded for me because i had a friend growing up who's a vegan and is a really dumb guy i don't think that vegans are dumb i think the vegans on average are smarter than people who eat all the trash in front of them my friend is a vegan dumb as shit and not only was he a vegan the whole time growing up he then uh found work as an adult because he was kind of drifting around as an exterminator which definitely undoes your veganism that's a very funny job. A week.

Vegan exterminator. It's gotta be tough. That's so funny. I decide who's a pest. It's the saddest thing I've ever heard, but also really, really funny. I love animals, but I hate squirrels. He specifically had a thing for squirrels. He loved them.

I've drawn a line into Sam with most of my beliefs. Sometimes you need $200 fast. It's true. also i'm i'm not like a full vegan and but i am a dumb vegetarian yes i'm like allergic to a lot of vegetables but i still decide to not eat meat so which ones i'm allergic to onions come on dude they're in everything they're in everything why did i do this to myself why am i not eating meat By choice.

That's a nightmare. By choice. That's a nightmare. I'm an idiot. We're getting more Jewish again. Yeah, we got to do a Shabbat chat. We're getting some messages from the advertisers. Shabbat chat.

I'm sorry, too Jewish. Why is your show really Jewish if it's Goyim talk? I was misled. Next week, a question is like, if I listen to Goyim talk, is my nose going to get too big? Yes I didn't say it That works Can you have garlic

Your foreskin grows back What Can you have garlic Yes That's pretty good That one's a good one That one's good It's like that

It's like onions and Brussels sprouts Brussels sprouts isn't too bad I miss them I loved all of them I love onions And then one day at like 26 I was like oh no What's happening to my body

And then I was in L.A., so, like, a doctor was like, I don't know, gluten? Just stop it. I'm high, man. Why are you asking me this? I'm so high because it's L.A. I'm Cali sober right now. I mean, I'm still a doctor. You're just, like, really bad vibes.

Stoned doctor is, like, the laziest improv character. I love that. Here's every scene. It's just you tell him something, and he goes, what? Dude I was just looking at your chart And wow Through my mind Your chest looks crazy

I got your chart here and my hands are huge Do you think the color red you're seeing No but you are color blind though You should know that Should I read any of these answers Are any of these worth reading One guy says Like so many quote questions on Quora

This one is based on what is known as a False premise Got em Oh wait We do have that you don't need to do it yourself It's not your job I think you should do it at the same time I'll get it next time

Anyway everyone's kind of just being like No Killing spree That's what they did to the cows Uh-huh, honey. Okay. Yeah. Do the purple one.

Sadly, we're not doing that segment this week. We're on to our religious segment. This is perfect because the whole thing's been a religious segment. This one's going to be hard to do with my mouth at the same time. Oh, wait. That's not it. Sorry. This one is Corbid and Fruit.

forbidden fruit our religion and uh spirituality segment oh this is a great jordan you're a man of faith oh yeah and we're here to test you okay we have many great questions from the collective mind this is one of my favorite questions i've seen in a while okay is it weird that i enjoy drawing pictures of famous atheists burning in hell. I'm going to say yes. Yeah, I think that's weird, man. That's a weird thing to do.

Who do you think he draws? Probably the fucking... He's like Patton Oswalt. He's as Rebby the Rat. Yeah, I got Fauci in here. I got all the famous ones.

Oh no, it's David Cross. Bill Maher oh my god that rules that's the most accurate one flames um i'm not so religious anymore honestly it's so now that we're talking about it not that weird i think it's kind of i think it's kind of funny i i we're trying to think of who a famous atheist is it's like i was thinking just people who are famous who happen to be atheists but famous atheists that's kind of funny because people all suck it's like ricky gervais yeah people who make who are very loud about these kinds of things and the thing is it's not that weird like if you had a friend and you

found out they're doodling all the time that's how weird this is yeah yeah i support them drawing to begin with yeah as long as you're being creative have fun i'm literally gonna go home and i'm probably gonna doodle a picture of ricky's face burning in hell and i'm probably gonna have a dope time to be honest with you well if you do it before we release this episode send it to alex so they can put it on the YouTube. I so will. I yearn for more images to drop into Premiere. Don't you love it?

Did they make you... I do. Did he make you have like a set border or do you just drop the image in? Baby, I don't even know what I'm doing in there. I don't even know what's going on. I called the producer from your show and have him talk me through it.

That's true. And then write it down so I can repeat it again. But also, thank you. The show is going very well. We're here and all of the mics work. You should open a gallery, says one of the guys. These answers are all very weird. It's weird to normal people, but ordinary to religious nutbags.

I don't even know if that's true. This guy has five points. He says, one, no one asked you. A religious nutbag would probably be like, drawing is a sin. No, it's the drawing that's the problem. Only God should make images of the world. Graphite from a rod of lead? Here depicting images?

Crime. Crime, I say. Let's read the five reasons why it's weird. Number one, no one asked you. Number one. I'm not going to read the parts where they explain what this means. There's too much to ask. Number two, it demonstrates that you have a propensity for violence.

Oh, shit. Weird. Oh, my God. Number three, you seem to believe that it is funny. It is not funny. Number four, it's weird that you think anyone would care. Very similar to the first one. Dude.

Number five, it demonstrates that despite what seems to be a profession of religion, religious faith, that you are unable to discern how your fantasy violates the core tenets of that faith. Oh, my God. I don't think that's true at all. God is ass. The urge to destroy someone as a religious scholar on this website is quite high. That was from John Mixon, whose bio says, Atheist, since I found out Bigfoot was a fraud.

Yeah, that would be hard. Not that he's not real, that he's a fraud. He's a fraud! He's not that blurry. Bigfoot is misrepresenting himself. He's not as dope as he seems on TV. He's not as black and white as I assumed. Based on the

Photographic evidence Bigfoot He doesn't make Any of his own music The Swedish man Behind all the Bigfoot songs I'm following this guy

He has 65,000 Quora followers Yeah follow him We're gonna get I do not know What happens When we follow these people Do you remember this

Yeah he's the police guy Some retired police officer We followed Follows John Mixon Well I mean He's super popular on here He's like Who we aspire to be

With the podcast True John M. Mixon Yes I also just realized we're going to incur the wrath of the footies they're going to come for us, they're going to cancel us

like the Swifties I pray for the day for claiming that Bigfoot does not write his own song it doesn't matter he writes his own lyrics he's lip syncing it's kind of a reverse Elton John situation

I would say every time I've gotten in trouble on the show so far has been from an unexpected community and the Bigfoot community would be the logical next step for us. Yeah, that's fair.

Okay. Anyway, a lot of people are just like, yeah, it's kind of weird. Yeah, it's low-key kind of strange, but also is, I support your hobby.

Yeah. It's nice to draw. This guy says, there's a site called DeviantArt. You are half qualified at least. Oh!

Got him! You're a deviant. Oh my God! It's deviant, but it ain't art. This motherfucker broiled it. Quora burned him like an atheist to hell. Usually I subscribe to Quora Plus for roasts like that.

Oh, my God. That's brutal. How much time have we done? I feel like we're over. We've done an hour. That's not bad. I thought it was maybe like 90 minutes already. No, no, no.

We're rolling. Okay, let's do another question. Is it wrong for a Christian to listen to bands like Metallica? Is it wrong? Yes. Is it wrong? Oh, my God. It's so wrong.

It's immoral. Here's the thing. Metallica is a band for Jewish people. Creeping Death is a song about Passover they are an anxiety one the number of

children God didn't have 1000% that is the core belief of Metallica I almost filled the void there by going you know the song one as if to clarify yeah um yeah no i i think it's uh it's it's i haven't heard jewish before but i do feel like

it is against the christian faith it is against the pope it is it is against his teachings as as the vessel on earth um couldn't tell you why it's just a gut feeling i think when does this episode come out monday like in two days okay uh well my my my claim about metallica being jewish will be more relevant on wednesday oh don't know what that means is donald trump gonna get indicted it's the metallica bar mitzvah special 1000 i'm gonna get bar mitzvahed when the cheeto goeth to jail they got him folks they got him this is uh left me in the chair this is taken before jordan's john hinkley arc where he goes after lars all rich in public to end him once for all. He's back. We should get him on the podcast.

He's back. John Hinckley Jr. Doesn't he live in New York? Oh, I thought you were talking about Lars Ulrich. I got asked to do punch up on interview questions for John. Oh my God. What's the punch up you could do for that? That is what I

replied in the email saying and I did not hear back. Hey, did you mean to do that stuff? So Reagan thoughts? Catch her in the rye. Yes or no? When was the last time you watched Panic Room? What's your favorite color?

That's what I was thinking in the moment. I was like, once I got past the chaos of the initial question, I was like, what would that be? Am I just trying to sneak movie references into the interview questions? It does seem like you're just turning down free money at that point, though. Because the punch up, if it's that vague, could be anything. You could just send them a list of word salad, and they'd be like, yeah, this is good. Here's the thing.

I was nervous to get into the conversation of what the compensation would be for something like that. I see. Like, this is a weird request. I'm sure the pay is also weird. I have a follow-up quora from this quora, which is, what is the most Christian metal band, to your estimation? There are just Christian metal bands, right? Oh, yeah. What is it?

I know, like, Under Oath is a Christian screamo band. Sure. Is it P.O.D.? Is that the band that's Christian? They're Christian. They're new metal. Striper is very... I'm like...

P.O.D. and Under Oath hide it a little bit. Right. A little bit. Under Oath, I think, is also done with it. The Christian screamo theme... They're soul. They're soul. Famous atheists draw a burning Under Oath, I guess.

um there is a weird phenomena in like uh in like the the southern hardcore scene where it's just like at that time a lot of bands had or like kids who wanted to play music they have super religious parents and it's kind of like a lane from gilmore girls thing where it's like yeah mom we're totally we're in a christian band totally it's about it's about god and it's just like they're like yeah whatever just let me play a riff the song's loud because it's about the crucifixion are you happy yeah sure that's what it's totally what it's about it was traumatic for all of us what happened we all think about it every day and of course i'm talking about the story of christ yeah yep the passion the passion um right that's the one that's the thing yeah all right so

Metallica, but I guess any of the like big hair metal bands Striper. Striper. I've never heard of Striper. They are probably the proudest Christian metal band Yeah. Like they straight, they're like that's our whole thing. The Stripe

We are Motley Crue, but for God Finally, a Motley Crue for God. The Stripe is the spear wound in Jesus' side to be clear If you listen to Girls, Girls, Girls and wish it was just God, God, God, that's the whole thing. That does rule.

Girls, girls, girls. God, God, God. They're made from a rib. Going to church on Sunday night. God, God, God. I'm just imagining any song if you replace girls with God is funny. So funny. Fat bottom God, you make the rocket world.

Oh, my God. Nobody has a thicker ass. Talking about that bad God. Could God have an ass so fat even he couldn't say sheesh? It's a show about questions. We're wording what Quora is. All right, find the dumbest one of these. Okay.

As a Christian, meaning not simply one who follows the teachings of Christ, which isn't a Christian at all, but a disciple of Christ, a Christian being one who has received, been anointed with, this is so hard to read, by the way. There's so many brackets and quotes and shit. Oh, are you triggered, Jeremy? Holy Spirit from Christ, the holy, and so has had his spirit put in them. Are you learning about the redemption? As a chosen person, Christianos, before his father, the most holy, I would share with you that rather than look to people who are as errant as you might be in their understanding of what a Christian should or should not do, look to Christ himself. That's the first sentence. He's done a sick mashup of Bible quotes here where it goes from like one to the next.

This means nothing to me. It's like a Skrillex of Bible quotes. I feel like we're going to like summon the evil dead or something. Like I feel like I've read the Necronomicon. 1,000%. I was like, we've just said a bunch of shit and anything could happen now. Well, we're trying to summon one man from the dead

and his name is Jesus Christ. I thought he came back already. He's going to come again. He's going to get you. He's going to get you. I like the zombie angle to Jesus that feels critically underexploited.

He's going to get you. He's a Frankenstein. He's straight up a Frankenstein sometimes. Science is magic. So he a Frankenstein. That's fact. The only un-Frankenstein part about him is that it's all him, baby. There's not like a gumbo apart.

He's so to himself. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Okay, that's fine. The lightning came from him. And that's kind of a metaphor about all of us. Yeah. It wasn't God who made you come back.

It was you all along. It was you. The lightning came from you. In conclusion, do not listen to Metallica if you are a Christian. Don't do it. Yeah. Well, this guy basically says, if listening to Metallica's music, it's going to cause you to become hateful, vengeance, vengeful, adulterous, murderous, thieving, deceitful, et cetera. And then, no, you should not listen to their music.

Okay. So. Yeah, and it kind of does do that. And he says, by the same token, if the music by Pat Boone, Beyonce, heck, Beethoven has the same result. I cannot listen to Pat Boone. He makes me quite vengeance. He does a Metallica cover. And boy, oh, boy, that'll change your mind.

Okay. Well, none of these answers are really that interesting. It's a lot of people just being like, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that sounds good. You're allowed to do that. It doesn't really make any sense. I love music is a common response. All right.

Here's another question. This is from Robin Garcia. Should we maybe end on this one? Sure. Okay, cool. All right. This is similar to another one we did. Atheists, imagine you fell into quicksand and a Christian priest is the only person

nearby who could help. If he refuses to help unless you admit you believe in God, would you do it? Why or why not? Oh, my fuck. They got you by the bone. You're done. God, you're done. I'm done.

You're going to fucking die in quicksand. That's the answer. I'm done. If you want to cling to your principles, stay far away from quicksand because it puts you in a very vulnerable position. I'll fucking say anything to get out of quicksand. Yeah, me too. I'm so scared of it, honestly, because the more you struggle, the faster you go in.

It's true. How does quicksand happen again? I have too much anxiety for quicksand. Yeah. That could be our question. My doctor said to avoid quicksand. How does quicksand happen? That's kind of boring.

No, well, yeah, I mean, it's a lot like the bullet question we started with. Okay, well, here's the thing. I don't care, right? If somebody, if they said, you have to say you believe in God, I'm like, yeah, sure. God, who cares, right? Like, I don't believe him. Who gives a shit? I'm in quakes saying.

What is my, I could not be lying because God can be whatever I think it is. Right, exactly. But even just like, if you're taking this guy, like, no joke, joking aside, if you don't believe in God and you're like, yeah, i believe in god like then you don't think he's real who cares like what is the non-fictional that's the beauty of being a sinful atheist is you can live in a world of lies and it actually becomes like spirits on the wall for you totally yeah what's the worst that's gonna happen some guy's gonna draw a picture of me burning in hell that's probably the worst i'll do it that sounds great i genuinely would love that well i feel like the worst thing that could happen is this

priest doesn't help you when you sink further and further into the quicksand i don't believe it I'll tell him whatever he wants to hear. That already exists. We have a little EP album cover that is literally my head on fire with a sword in it. That's hell, baby. Who drew that?

A tattoo artist from Canada. Cool. Shout out to Canada. My girlfriend is a tattoo artist from Canada. You haven't met her. This top answer that we have in here The guy says no.

He says, no, it would be wankery. I don't believe in God. Oh, my God. That guy's from Yorkshire. Oh, let's find out. I was about to say. He doesn't say no, Jeremy. He says it would be wankery.

It doesn't say where he's from, but it does say he studied music at Oxford. So he is British. He's a man of the world. He's a man of culture. You know what? That's my question for next week. Okay. Okay.

What does a Yorkshire accent sound like? That's good. Because people will describe it. It's going to be beautiful. I like that a lot. Nails on a chalkboard. Do we have anything else to read about this quicksand question? I think the answer is just...

What's up? There's a... Should I read more of that guy? Yeah. Is there any... Do you have a favorite sand? I think colorful sand that you put in a bottle at a birthday party when you're seven. Like Squam or whatever.

I don't want it to be really artful. I want it to be made by a child. Yeah, like if the, what, is it what I'm thinking of? Squam, where it's like a tank and you put it, it was just like a kid pouring weird colorful sand in there and it makes a... That's called squam? I don't know squam.

I can look it up. Whatever that thing is, that made by a child, that's my favorite sand because I'm not touching it. It probably looks fucking gross, but in kind of a fun way, hell yeah. Jeremy, what's your favorite kind of sand? That's what I said. I said colorful sand that children use.

Yeah. Okay. I think normal beach sand. Freak. Fuck off. Freak alert. Get the fuck out of here. I like it, and I see it all the time.

It's a stinky, broken rock. Get out of here. It's smooth, and I lie on it when it's hot. It gets everywhere. Seinfeld reference. Seinfeld's complaints. Seinfeld's complaints. It gets everywhere.

I thought for sure you were doing the episode one reference. I think it's Star Wars, yeah. What? Sand, it's so dirty, it gets everywhere. Or that's episode two, rather. That is episode two. It's where Anakin is seducing Natalie Portman, who is playing herself.

Groomed. I have no... Age Cap Discord says not yet come for Star Wars prequels. Nobody has taken on Darth Vader that way. Let's do it. I have seen episode one. I fell asleep during episode two in theaters, and I never saw the third one.

Oh, Jordan. We're not going to feel it. You've got to see them. I've got to. The third one's good. There's a sand part. There is a famous line where Anakin says, I hate sand.

It's coarse, and it gets everywhere. The second one's kind of the worst one. The first one's the worst movie, but it's funny, and then the second one's a little bit better, which makes it bad. Because Jar Jar Binks is so funny. Jar Jar Binks is low-key so funny. One of my favorite comedians.

He's one of my biggest influences. An unproblematic character. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. He has not yet put out, like, a special about trans people, which is huge for a comedian from the 90s. He's not doing any alt-right clubs. He's the only one. The only one. He's just not getting books.

From the 2000s? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Exactly. Sorry, do you want to read the rest of this one? Want me to do it? Yeah, yeah, I would like to read it. Any priest prepared to blackmail me into professing a false belief genuinely isn't a Christian in any sense that I would understand.

Facts. These questions are pathetic. i have no idea why i rise to this asinine bait please just stop it's ridiculous it's a ridiculous waste of your time and mine just get on with being a good person and stop bloody trolling those of us who don't believe i think this guy's from new jersey people too and we don't deserve this hideous plague of idiocy most of this post is most of this response to the question is him just telling him to delete his account i do like the idea of someone being from new jersey but talking like a British person

without the accent. Just be like, you're being a bloody cunt. You're a bit of a bloody tosser. Yeah. And there's no two ways about it, mate. It sounds weird

when you say it without British. Isn't it? Isn't it? Sounds like a bloody tosser, isn't it? All right, well. The queen. That was the bird over there.

American British guy. American British. That was our big bit of the week. American British guy. Hit the bit of the week button. Bit of the week. it was a poser cops episode idea that uh jeremy hammond had that was us like arresting like fake british guys guys using british slang but in an american accent we just stole jeremy

hammond's bit you didn't know about it also it was like i think vaguely like skinhead related But it was just guys going like, look at that bird over there. Yeah. That's a good Jeremy Hammond impression. Look at that bird over there. That's really good. That's a bit for not a lot of people because Jeremy's not a famous atheist burning in hell. But that's really good.

Honestly, he should be. He aspires. He does aspire. He aspires to be on that paper. He wants to be on the page next to Sartre. Honestly, that's his egot is getting someone to drop burning in hell. It's all he wants. It's a very achievable goal in its own way.

I agree. Well, Jordan, it appears we've read a hundred quoras, and so now we're going to end the show. Okay, let's do it. But let's come up with a fucking question first. What was the question we had? Oh, what does a Yorkshire accent sound like? What does a Yorkshire accent sound like?

I cannot wait. Quora it up. We'll send Jordan a voicemail with all of the things it sounds like. I want no voice text business. I want only written answers as to what it sounds like. Oh, to clarify, it will be a text to text to chat. OK, sent to your voicemail, just like credible.

That is what I want. And that's good. We're going to find out about that next week while you're over in jolly old London. I'm not going. I don't know where you got that. I'm going there next. You're going to love it. I'm so glad we scooped you right before you went.

Do we remember the name of the guy who's from there? Oh, Elton John. It's David Aldridge. Yeah. I'm never going to forget the guy. I love him. Oh, I love you, David Aldridge. David, shout out.

Shout out to David Aldridge. Shout out, baby. My best friend. We love what you do. And in the meantime, that's it for us. Jordan, where the heck can our listeners find you at home and abroad? Leave me alone. Leave Jordan alone.

He doesn't want to talk to you. Do not find him. don't do it follow two minutes to late night at two minutes to late night on instagram

at 2m2ln on twitter oh my god twominutes to late night dot com is our link to read scott all of our stuff

buy a shirt please really losing a lot of the esteem by fitting a full plug in at the end

after fully blowing it off but i still think it's cool good luck finding him in england you fucks

you fucks you'll never get him you bloody tossers you bloody tossers well mates

that's gonna be it for our Well, I'm going to head back to my flat. And as we say at the end of every one of these, question everything.