Quorators - Why Is Spanking Teenagers Bad? w/ Sam Ruddy

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Comedians Alex Ptak and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: - What Is It Like To Be Over 80 Years Old? - How Should I Respond To "Happy Thanksgiving" Since I Don't Celebrate It Because It Is Pagan? - Can You Get Pregnant Having Softcore Sex? Follow Sam on the internet @SamlyMatters

Make sure everybody can hear in their little phones. I can hear in my little phone. This mic, you gotta talk into the top and not the side. Okay. We've been holding them. On this one? Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.

That's great. Great. That looks great. Cool. And it's shooting right at you, so you won't look like a hunched over goblin. Yeah, that's why we've been avoiding being like this. Yeah. My posture is so bad.

This podcast has been so bad for myself and Steve. People have been very mean to me on the internet in a way that I do not like. and just because i housed a donut in front of a star yeah it's been rough it's been rough putting yourself out there it's so it's so hard to like post anything yeah on instagram or like tiktok the second it leaves your yeah yeah open season well not physically physically it's very easy to post it you just slam it up can we raise these or no i mean no there's no thing in there you're gonna have to we've just been holding them i just think it's like too heavy to hold right i think i could do it's so fucking yeah it's not good i'm sorry content creators are a little bit closer

though it's a little better i feel better oh yeah look at that feels better it sounds better no one's graphically eating a donut sam is smarter than us alissa pointed out in the clip where i'm eating the donut i'm not even raising a donut to my mouth i'm bending all the way over like a bear approaching a salmon and just putting the whole thing in there and that's that's on camera now the way i will want yeah i feel like kind of immature but the youtube the youtube comment saying that you look like you're giving a blowjob to dan lakata is one of the funniest things i've ever read that made me very happy and it made me feel dumb uh that i liked it that much well Do you not hear that, Sam?

I do. Have we been recording? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This whole time? This is the show? Yeah, this is part of it. Oh, man, I thought we were just talking about how we eat. It seems so natural.

Yeah. I probably felt that way to you. It was effortless. Mm-hmm. Well, that's just what the professional world looks like. But guess what? You're on Quarators. Quarators.

You want to intro it? Let's say it at the same time. The show where we ask, what is Quora? look at that that's really good we've never done that before that's right can i try yeah yeah at the same time yeah okay want to count it down three two on my tempo four three two one what is quora i thought we were doing the whole thing we gotta move on from that let's just do the show and no one will notice hey everybody what's what the fuck is up um not much uh my name is jeremy We're here with Alex and Sam Reddy.

Sam, how are you doing? Hi, I'm doing well. I am, you know, guys, I'm doing fine. Things aren't so hot for me. But for the most part, I'm all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you? Are you guys good?

We're okay, I think. I ate two pieces of pizza pretty fast, but I could have had three pieces of pizza. That would have really slowed me down for the podcast. Oh, wow. Yeah, I ate one and I'm feeling a little slow. Yeah. The thing is, it's really good pizza. so there is a moment before you podcast where you're like maybe it's not that important if

the podcast is good this is also part of the podcast to be clear this might sound like it's not recording no we just want to be as honest as possible well but i sweat every time i finish a podcast episode i'm doing like six of these a week i'm sweating my clothes are drenched through this is such relatable i'm seeing black on the edges of my vision this lamp is kind of hot yeah that's that's by design hot lamp it's only a good show with a hot lamp so sam you're a famous stand-up in new york city how are you how are you feeling about the coming up of thanksgiving that holiday we love once a year oh i can't wait you know i i really enjoy it i'm a big stuffing person uh i love it i can't get enough of it and i don't eat it any other time of year that's true

you know just like i don't watch the movie a christmas story any other time but christmas except thanksgiving stuffing i and maybe this is wrong to say i believe the reason we don't eat it the rest of the year oh no is it's a bad food and it's bad we're all fooling ourselves your thoughts uh get out okay this is my house and i believe that's you live here now squatters the rules of the conqueror um yeah but with thanksgiving coming up i mean so oh we always ask this question sure yeah you don't even know what it is yet i think you're gonna ask them if you've been on quora have you been on quora oh you were right you literally asked the same question you know quora i mean it would be a little bad if you didn't but it really wouldn't matter too much it wouldn't

No, we're intimately familiar. Okay, cool. I spent some time on Quora in college. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I went to school. Experimenting. Yeah, yeah. I went to school for tech,

so I would just not know how to do my homework. They would just show you Quora and be like, don't do this. Don't make a website like this. I would just be like, why doesn't this work? And Quora gave you good answers? No. Okay.

But I kept doing it. I was getting nervous that you were going to use Quora's responses in your tech homework. why doesn't this work here's my cousin smithy khan he was once caught stealing from cvs still think it's cool to have bad code also you forgot a semicolon yeah there's a chorus very split up between people uh telling a story that's unrelated to the question and people being very mean about what the question was yeah which is an okay to do because a large portion of the users and i think i can save this legally are pedophiles and so if they gotta get smacked down online they have to

be smackdown online it's for the best it's for the best um now we did a lot of medical questions last week yeah so we're gonna try to veer away from that uh we have one recurring segment on on this show which is uh we ask at the end of the show we ask a quora as a group and then the next week we like see what the answers are oh which is easier said than done because the website is a train wreck and it's very unclear where your stuff goes nothing throws me into a rage more than when i am not logged into quora which is which is constantly i've never logged in uh and i go to look at a second question and it makes you like make an account it just yeah it makes me want to just find out where quora is headquarters and write them a stern letter write them a stern

letter about it which they would surely read we had dan yang on here a few weeks ago and he said he had like eight quora accounts and is like there's no reason to do that uh any luck this yeah so this is our question from last week uh if you listen to it or if you know who dan lakata is you can probably guess that he wrote this and the question is if you have a doctor you do not respect like fat bastard from austin powers do you still have to call them doctor and i've been waiting on answers from this as there's a thin line this is part of it is if they think it's a joke they're not going to answer the question right there's enough of an actual question then people will with great authority then respond and instruct you and you you're

both your parents are doctors right that's right so they could have answered this and if you didn't respect them would you call them doctor i always do do you call them dr mom and dr dad dr father dr mother informal i like it it would be a bit casual to say dr mom dr daddy am i in trouble doctor daddy daddy fd oh no my phone plan i'm in trouble with doctor daddy because i use too many datas oh no and you respect him that's why you call him that him so much uh okay so we have one answer from pk powell who is a bastard is my father uh this is a former business consultant consultant. Jesus Christ. We'll just start over again.

It's probably best if we just re-scrap the whole thing. First of all, former consultant. Former business consultant and advocate. Consultant is what people do after they've done something. Yeah, you don't need to retire from that. No. That's what retired people do. You do if you're not allowed to do it anymore. What did he do? You can

no longer consult. CEO of Enron. Let's see what his answer was. The answer is the answer probably is you don't call them anything but just avoid them. Quote, Once you've had fat, you never go back. What? Is this a response to...

Okay, suit to the question. Yes, this is a response to our question. Do you call a doctor you don't respect doctor? Like Fat Bastard. Once you go fat, you don't go back. Who is not a doctor in that movie, I don't think. No. How did they misread...

This nonsense. Tell me we got another one. That's the only one. No! we got 67 views though so that's pretty big that's up there it's a coral world

how humiliating it's a movie theater that they've never seen Austin Powers I know oh behave that's what I'd tell them okay that's it for that

oh my god have you guys sorry I'm getting off track please have you guys seen we don't do that here oh great have you guys seen

the Austin Powers episode of This Fool no it's like one of the funniest things I've ever watched what is it is he in it No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, behave. Just kidding. It's a sitcom on Hulu. I've never heard of it. It's excellent. And there's a really great episode that's just completely centered around Austin Powers and I highly recommend it.

That's great. Probably one of the best Austin Powers things since like the second Austin Powers movie. Yeah. Is it unpopular to like the third Austin Powers the most? It's extremely, I don't know. Because it's the first one you saw because you're so young. Yep, I had that.

We're two young people. Oh my God, it's just like me. Put that on TikTok. It's me watching the third Austin Powers first. I watched Wayne's World first. I'm a Wayne's World guy. I don't even know how to talk to you anymore. The disrespect you give me.

That's how it goes. There's a theory that I read on Quora that he becomes Austin Powers. Oh, that's not true. No, sorry. that must be the one thing on quora that's not true oh well it's thanksgiving so i suppose i'll let you off easy do you want to read some thanksgiving quoras yeah we found some really good thanksgiving quoras for you um i don't know if you have any precious memories of thanksgiving

or i don't know what do you think thanksgiving good or bad i'm pretty neutral on uh i swear to god i'll slap that on your for the audio listener i put my mic up to her It was a little joke. This is two pizzas, Alex. Don't talk to me after I've had my pizzas. You're cut off, buddy. Oh, God, don't make that noise. It's in my headphones.

I'm sorry. I'm not eating this week, guys. I really am not doing it. Okay, so what do you think of Thanksgiving? I just feel like your mom now. No. I'm just like, get that out of my face. Doctor mother.

Stop talking like that. It's Thanksgiving. You'd crush that riddle. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? No. I don't know who was the doctor. it was a woman yeah that's my favorite thing to yell after any question i don't understand

the doctor was a woman it's pretty good yeah because you know kind of do we have to explain that people know this riddle do you know this riddle is uh doctor goes into the i've heard yeah okay i can't operate on this boy it's my son yeah exactly i'm his doctor mother okay well if you don't know it hopefully from what just happened you can piece together what the riddle just google it just google it i'm not gonna i'm not here to instruct you that way is it messed up if i like the third riddle um no some riddles each one's better than the last there you go that's what i said oh one time is a fun covid thing uh you know how you had to have those family zooms over covid just to be like you're part of a clan yeah you must survive uh uh we

had a really long awkward one i think this is on my 30th no my 29th birthday and uh there was just too many people in the zoom for there to be a conversation you know what it was and so i eventually sidelined the whole thing by uh requesting actually i had my brother do it because it was my birthday i was like hey everyone what have we all told riddles and then one by one they thought was all super weird but i made my brother do one first and then they were like oh i actually do know a riddle and it became a riddle telling story time and it's a very nice memory i have okay that's good yeah fine my family zoom story is my friend's cousin started dating jim jeffries during covid so jim jeffries was just in all of their family zooms like bored in the

background very strange that rules i wish i could do an impression of jim jeffries but i don't know australian things he says is he one of the really offensive ones um i think maybe he started out as offensive and now he's kind of like a politics guy oh yeah right i don't know anything about Jim Jefferies. Am I saying the wrong name, the Australian guy? I know we had a show. Kate was, Kate Willett, our friend of the pod. Friend of the pod. She hasn't been on it, but she's a close friend.

Friend of the you. Friend of the Alex and the me. She was a correspondent. He had like a political show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. His big bit was about gun control. It like went super viral. This is really engaging content. You know what? He's actually part of Jeremy's family, so it's really

good to hear that. It was not my family. No, he is. We didn't tell you this, but Jim Jeffries and your mom. I would love that. My dad has no career in comedy. So if Jim Jeffries fucked my mom and I could also be a correspondent on his show, that would be amazing for me. You should take his last name as a 30-year-old man. Yeah, that's fine.

Who cares? Yeah, this is Jeremy Jeffries. I would make up a fake Australian accent if that's what I needed to do. Give me your best. just just swing for it right now uh um melba all right okay all right this is core raiders this is core raiders all right it's not the worst i mean that's i mean jim jeffrey's your dad so i gotta like you yeah i will cancel you i have television connections um i don't remember what our question was yeah let me read this question yeah read the core question um how should i

respond to happy thanksgiving since i don't celebrate it because it's pagan oh is is it to the question happy thanksgiving merry christmas there you go people don't want to say happy thanksgiving anymore because of the liberal left sure the critical race theory did you guys go to starbucks yet this month there's not even a turkey on the cup what the oh my god they're taking the turkey out of thanksgiving it's all about jesus christ if there was one on it there wouldn't be any stuffing man stuffing is good i would die on this hill most people think it so it's a very it's a crowded hill it's a hill full of everyone one hill must be nice being on that hill not me down in the valley what's your thanksgiving food like um my thanksgiving food is everything i like

the turkey with the gravy do you like cranberry sauce yeah folks with cranberries cranberry sauce is garbage don't like it it looks like it's in the it's like shaped like a can it's like i only like dry ass thanksgiving food i like to choke through thanksgiving well sam is not very healthy what would you do if i told you happy thanksgiving knowing it's a pagan holiday well i guess i would um internalize that uh-huh uh and think about it for the rest of my life see you're actually doing better than the author of the question so i found this one on the train earlier and it's the thread is full of people kind of yelling at yeah this guy's really mad kind of just friendly atheist is keep it to yourself is a big part of it his job is listed

as friendly atheists yeah he's like how spider-man is but for like he has a signature on his on his post as if he's like on a forum or something that says this answer is being posted to an atheist space any religious comments will be treated as disinformation god damn also note that quora is a question and answer site not a debate site any comments that don't address then an aspect of this answer will be deleted oh my god this guy's really upset don't do not tell happy thanksgiving to this gentleman you've entered his zone of logic your friendly neighborhood atheist yeah kills me yeah just swinging through new york being like there's nothing we're here than nothing we did this together no that's just water it's okay this is a video podcast this is huge for us knocking things

over and yelling no is always very funny we should milk it and just yeah like slip on the Yeah, there you go. I'm so sorry, Alex. It's all over the cords. It's all over my cords. Oh, my God. My pants. No, yeah.

It's fine to be on pants. Do you actually want a towel or something? It's not a big deal. I want to die. Okay. No, I think I'll be all right. It's still being recorded, so I can take it out and stuff. I think I'll be okay.

I'll be all right. No, we should keep it. Yeah, all right. Except for the loud parts. We're going to leave all that in. We'll edit it in post. I think it's great. do you find a good answer on there other than this guy who said so you don't uh celebrate

thanksgiving because it's pagan with like 16 exclamation points no that's kind of the good one the other ones are like it's not a pagan holiday it's a national holiday there's nothing pagan about it nobody worshipped thanksgiving as like a bountiful no yeah it's just or anything like that it's not the pilgrims were christian it's just a general misunderstanding of the question and this does get into something that we're gonna have to grapple with for the length of our show which is how many of these people are fucking with us on purpose like how many of these are real questions they're all dan lacata we were on the we were talking about this earlier that like there's a reddit subreddit that's called like insane people on quora or

whatever and all of the posts are just people being like this fucking idiot is all posted this and every one of them is like almost like a knock knock joke level of joke like it's so obviously not uh it's like can you believe someone posted this and the question's like how do i molest my son what that was like if someone goes to your funeral should you then go to theirs is it rude to not go to theirs and someone's like uh idiot alert you know that's not possible all right man impossible your friendly neighborhood atheist is like you can't do that because you're dead and there's nothing your friendly neighborhood atheist is one of the biggest users on the website yeah he swings in to stop like a mugging and he's like don't worry if he shoots you hell

isn't real you'll feel nothing also you feel free to shoot it yeah it's not real morality is fake somebody jack me off yeah that's his other thing he has a public humiliation fetish he also doesn't believe in like crime he's a bad spider-man it's unrelated there is so much fetish stuff on quora yeah there's a huge incest thing going on there and yeah what i guess i don't understand is so like if you're on quora instead of a porn site to do porn stuff yeah you're there in theory for community building do you know what i mean like you're there to be part of like a porn experience with others yeah sure yeah but you're not disclosing yeah that's why so it's like a weird exhibitionist slash yeah like it's like when people get on there and they're like

oh uh tell me about the funniest time yes when someone looked at your feet and your feet were gross and it was humiliating yeah i've seen a bunch of those uh that are like you know like what's the worst thing to happen when you're like not wearing any clothes or whatever it's just like can you just like imagine it or something like why are you why do you have to enlist people on this website what button you press in oh that the gunshot that's a really good one i got new sound effects this week yeah what do you want to uh intro any of them or do you want to just i would just like to add to this discussion that i saw a long one earlier and core rangers is kind of like a clean podcast like a family podcast so i'm not gonna do the whole thing but the question you said

me when i was on the trade a screenshot of quora that had a photo of a coming penis it was not a photo it was a illustration which is why it was so strange i opened it on the subway it's a an anatomical illustration that's just like what fluids does your body need and then a penis shooting cum but anyway this is a family podcast which is why i was so disgusted that i found another post earlier that was just like what's it like getting nodded and i was like nodded i don't know what that means and it means getting fucked by a dog and this guy wrote like an essay oh my god how much he likes getting fucked by a dog in ways and he's like and i do it while i'm house sitting so they never know it's me they think we're just taking walks when

really i'm getting knotted out and it wasn't it was like four to five paragraphs no i don't think it's real it was definitely it was written like it it was like i can't believe this happened to me there i was with a great day my friends i told him i'd never betray his trust but there he was with his sexy paws and anyway yeah so i think people make up answers and then write them in we got to that conclusion i know i had to get somewhat blue to get there but it is something i saw on the train um i like that when i click the notification on your account it's all ghost questions yeah i have found my favorite spot on on the website but i need to explore other parts for our podcast like i don't think we should dig into this but you got a notification that was like

somebody asked do ghosts sometimes try to help people they're haunting and it's like yeah that does seem like it's for alex they definitely do yeah i have the strongest opinions about the ghost ones and i see you tempting me but it's thanksgiving i won't go over i won't go over we have to learn about pilgrims and turkeys i'll say that someone did answer saying yes all right you want to read another now that's a tiger roar is that too long it's really long it's long well you You can latch it, so you can just start. Okay, that's fine. Can we go tiger into Austin Powers?

It's on a different board. It's going to be a whole thing. Oh, God. Sorry. Can I get anything? We can do a moo into Austin Powers. You can do a moo into Austin Powers or tiger roar into gunshot. That's not what I asked for.

Tiger got shot. That's it for old tiger. No more of your antics. well let's read another thanksgiving sure yeah you want me to read or you want to read it uh give me another one i gotta get in the zone here by the zone i mean the google doc where i put all the quaras well let me ask you this do turkish people get offended when they know their country's name parentheses turkey means a bird species and poultry whose meat is eaten on thanksgiving day so i picked this one mostly because it's written like a quora which is just

like a sentence that's 60 words long it doesn't elucidate anything but it's also a question i've always wanted to know which is do people from turkey fucking hate that bird that's how i would probably like it i would like the bird if i was from turkey it is our proud i'd be like that's us oh it's just like me for real yeah i'm like doing hand things all the time drawing feathers wobble and gobble wobble and gobble i'd be gobbling like crazy yeah i feel like i would be more like no one remix that yeah i'm actually not gonna talk i'm just laughing at the eyes you made after saying like crazy like i shouldn't have said that i just want to let that sit uh yeah these are the microphones are so heavy they're not meant to be held as the thing that's

why alex has been lifting i've started preparing to hold the microphone so aware of how weak i am I'm going to do this podcast about Quora. You've got to go Howard Stern mode. Podcasting is very hard. As we've said, it's scary to post stuff. The mics are heavy. Sometimes you drop water. They remix how you be gobbling.

Podcasters are braver than the troops. I've always said that. Okay, so do they hate Turkey? I've never heard of any Turks being offended by the name Turkey applied to the Big Bird, which makes me think of Big Bird. It was kind of my hope that someone would say yes. I didn't see any of those in the answer. I like this.

it says i'm sure many of them know about it like yeah it's always one of the hardest things to break to a turkish person like hey i didn't want to upset you but uh i have some birds you need to see i don't know if you've heard of bowling one guy from turkey says he doesn't mind it if that okay yeah that answers my question uh why would you log on to say something neutral that's not what yeah i don't know that's not what any of the internet's for yeah i feel like that's why i'm so bad at the internet is i was just want to say like oh no probably not you know i bet they're not angry about it this guy's an engineer almost all of his answers are about engineering and he logged on to be like turkey's fine it doesn't make me mad and apparently like

the word for egypt and turkish is also corn oh i bet they hate that yeah i bet they fucking hate that shit that's gotta enrage them to no end um i also like this other guy says in turkey we don't speak english we speak turkish owned yeah fair enough wrecked and owned okay that also goes on for like 25 more seconds he said speak turkish oh you got roasted when you said lmao i know and i've been trying really hard not so was that you just actually you don't say lmao or whatever no i genuinely say lmao out loud because every time i read it i go ha el mal but it's also something no one has ever said it does sound like spanish for the now yeah it is as well and i'm fluent in spanish but uh no i'm trying very hard

no okay i was like genuinely really impressed i really didn't want to walk into that one i just need to be honest for the rest of the show which is going to be a first for me uh so you found a good one about jam here sure okay so this is more of a so as you decided thanksgiving is not a pagan holiday yeah it's not a christian holiday it's not a jewish holiday i don't think a little bit no it's a little bit it's an american holiday now it's something for all americans but i thought kind of in the spirit of holidays and mysticism we could answer this question which is if god didn't exist how do atheists explain who told adam and eve not to eat the forbidden fruit fuck he got us dude checkmate atheists where's the fucking friendly

atheist i saw a longer one about like what if they barbecued the snake instead of eating the fruit that's gotta be that scene it looked deleted and like also no one answered it so i couldn't find it that's the best when you see a question you're like kind of curious and then you see no one no i'm a dumb ass that was a bait that was the equivalent of saying el mao out loud to yourself over and over again on a recording um the top answer is just someone like carefully explaining why that question doesn't make sense well no but it does make sense does it okay well if you follow so in order you'd have to believe adam and eve are real like they're like historical figures like lincoln sure that we have like recordings of and stuff i mean the question is essentially like

if harry potter's not real then who killed voldemort well that may be true jeremy but i thought maybe there'd be some good stuff in here and i was wrong no no i think it's a great question but i the logic doesn't make sense does it yeah it doesn't it doesn't i think that's what's funny about it it is in many ways the bible is a text we can all go back to i'll tell you what if god's not real who told adam and steve to be gay yeah there's no one who's like it is adam and steve that would eliminate the character of gay god comes in and is like by the way steve you're both gay i bet you thought you were roommates with adam i couldn't be farther from the truth steve is a good biblical name did we talk about on here how the uh penis bone was like uh we did

a whole episode about metaphor for the rib oh yeah yeah okay never mind again i'm just doing a lot of these podcasts really blacking out where i've had these long stupid discussions no that's very reasonable if you you know you could have really talked about that on any podcast okay this one this answer really clearly spells it out which is easy there never was an adam and eve The tree was metaphorical, and the whole ordeal in Eden never happened. That explains why God doesn't exist and didn't require a lot of effort on my part. Whoa, what a dick. Damn, dude.

Paul Myers, former animator studying Japanese anime fan. You're getting ethered by anime fans on Quora. Oh my God. Now I'm just dying at someone who's like, no, God's not real, so they go through all the trouble to prove that Adam and Eve did not exist instead of Jesus. There's been no fossil findings. Explain it. No one's found Eve's ceramic pot.

Where's the snake? Eve also invented pottery. Did she? Is that a thing? Yeah, she ate that fruit and then just pottery. Damn, that's cool. It's like one of the first texts you get in civilization. Founded by Eve.

That's pretty good. Good for her. Okay, I found one more Thanksgiving one. I don't know. Do you guys feel in the Thanksgiving mood? Because we have other topics we could explore. I would love nothing more than to talk about whatever you boys. You don't have huge opinions on what we should talk about?

Come into your home. You gave me a piece of pizza. I knocked a glass onto your floor like a cat. Which I did not clean. I got one. I got one. Okay. This is from Linda Buck, and she's a former retired after years as a headhunter.

Oh, yeah. You want to see a picture of her? I can show you. Is she a headhunter? Yeah. Big buck hunter. She's a head. oh well she doesn't do it anymore so and the question is what's it like to live over 80 years

old linda says what's up oh i don't know are you asking me or yeah well what do you think i mean she has an answer it's pretty nice yeah i think it's good i think it's um like bad yeah i've seen people say like i'd rather be dead than over 80 years old but then i've also seen people who are 80 years old with like full functioning bodies or just like huh I guess you just don't have to do it like those other people do. Linda is right in the middle of those two people. Let's see it Linda. It is a little frustrating

she says. Which is rare. Yeah, exactly for an 80 year old. Part Sam, part Alex. Usually they're just like racism, racism or whatever. Yeah. I mean for Quora. Oh yeah yeah yeah. That too. Pretty much the same exact vibe. Linda says it's a little frustrating I am 82 female and have the mindset

of a 30 year old. I don't look my age but facts don't lie. I had an embarrassing thing happen recently. It's Ben Shapiro. facts don't care about your feelings i'm not 30 years old i am 80 years old i think my sister's cute am i um here's something they don't want you to know i served in korea i've been a valuable member of the american punditry class since 1975 oh my god that's a pretty good bet shapiro that's good thanks you just talk fast and then act small yeah talk fast act small is like an amazing motto I was writing a rap about Ben Shapiro.

I didn't want to bring it up. Okay, what's it say? A very nice musician came up to me at a karaoke coffee shop. We had fun and laughed for about an hour. The subject of age came up, and he was 49. I volunteered that I'm 82. I finally showed him my driver's license. Then he got embarrassed and passed it off okay.

I still feel like I can skateboard, but common sense tells me I can't. For me, at least... Only one way to find out. You got to do it. And then she says, for me, at least my body has aged faster than my spirit, and I find it frustrating. That has 4.5 million views. I love her.

Yeah, she sounds great. And I want to meet her. I feel like she wanted to hook up with this 49-year-old. Oh, she did. She showed him her driver's license. He was like, let me make sure you're legal. Yeah, yeah. What do you miss?

17? How'd you get in here? But he got scared. He bailed. He bailed. He was afraid of becoming part of the ages. That's garbage. Yeah.

I will have sex with Linda. Yeah, no, right? I mean, you know, just for the story, if anything. She's a great person. She's a skateboarding 82-year-old. No, she's not a skateboarding 82-year-old. You've named the one thing she is not. Linda, if you're out there.

I can show you a photo of her. I'm down bad. I have gathered from, like, anecdotal experience that those are the kind of 80-year-olds who'd be listening to Quora podcasts. yeah you know absolutely like i could see her findings pull up pull up her picture on the ipad we can show sam let's get that up i hope that she uh watches the pod oh yeah i'm sure she will i made piercing eye contact with the camera and i still am this is under um probably core man's

core romance it's the like last one on core romance like quora but core romance i don't need to see what she looks like no you don't want to love love at first sight this thing yeah uh oh this we could get into some of these core romance questions here let me do the formal intro here these these two before this are two i found on reddit i think are probably jokes but i did i want to believe that they're real questions okay and romance do you want me to read any of these i hope we find love today these are two that have no um you know they're just uh they're just questions oh nice so this question is i caught my son eating a bowl of strawberries that's a gay fruit does this mean he is gay how do i confront

him well that's a good question the question is not are strawberries okay that was probably that was probably another quora we're going in with a lot of given strawberries are gay how do i tell my son he is gay what do i do about this as a loving parent they're like not homophobic they're just like yeah i know i want to support him now that i saw him eating a bowl of strawberries yeah now that i know he's gay because of his fruit preference um yeah i think a hundred percent this is made up but also i want to live in the world where it's not you know what i mean yeah that's how i feel about both of these yeah is are there any answers there's a lot of answers that are like are you on drugs yeah that's it and this is where we get into is not

everyone has that investigative spirit that we're bringing to the website they aren't they're just very mean to people who put stupid questions is a dead art it's so sad um i don't know what would be what would be a food you could see your son eating where you could maybe have this conversation with them i'm trying to any food no well i'm just saying if it had to be a food hot dog that's the one from super bad right where super and this is a goofy that wasn't too red he keeps drawing favorite have you guys seen the movie the hangover yeah have you guys ever seen like fuck i couldn't think of a movie fast enough anchor man hey you guys fuck with anchor man but i'm i'm ron burgundy no it was a bad choice

those are all good i love saying all those quotes yeah they make me laugh they make you el mau They make me L-Mau to this very day. Something I didn't know about when that film came out because it hadn't entered the lexicon yet. Okay, let's do another Quora romance. Okay, this is the other one I'm pretty sure is fake, but someone posted it and people are all like, you can't post this on Quora.

No, stop! This is not allowed. I'm making a Quintessence arrest. Okay, so this is... Many of the Jewish girls I went to high school with were well endowed in the chest. Om is in the question, by the way. Yes, sorry.

Does kosher diet lead to a larger breasts? The thing that makes this feel a little real is that he wrote a larger breasts. No, this does feel real to me. I could see somebody asking this. And all of the comments are just like, no. If you take the milk out of diets, it puts the milk into titties.

The fakest thing about this is the fact that there's no way this isn't a 13-year-old. Many of the girls I went to high school with, no. Yeah, yeah. I'm excited to soon go to high school with. They were well-endowed. I could feel him winking. It's like we're in on this against women,

which I don't approve of. You know what? I'm going to choose to believe that it is a young girl who wants to have bigger boobs and is like, what if I just start eating kosher food? Oh my God, I'm so sexist. I assume this was a boy. It's a girl.

It, like most posts on here, reeks of horny boy. The doctor was a woman. The doctor was a woman. The horny boy was a girl. The horny boy actually a girl. Yeah, man, it's crazy about titties. Yeah, people on the post seem to think that it's fake, too. but I don't know.

This seems like a genuine question to me. This is real. This is so specific. Oh, wait. Their name is Rabbi Porkowitz. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, I don't like that at all. The fact that they would...

That's not a real name. And they got us. First of all, that's no rabbi. Yeah. And like... See your certificate. If you went to Ellis Island, they would just make it Pork.

They wouldn't keep the Owitz. You're David Pork now. Welcome to the country. That's bad. That seems like a bad person. well guess what we're out of here you're off quarators rabbi porkowitz you've been denied you thought you had it all going on well that couldn't be farther from the case okay so we had these two on the one with tim platt and we didn't get around to them because they made tim

uncomfortable but it is a question i wanted to explore i don't want to if tim noped i'm noping tim noped all the questions oh did he nope all them he noped all the questions can i nope at any point you can open it please do and don't make us read these horrifying questions to you if you don't want to is this we're just gonna ask the question and then see what i need to find out what the answers are why is it that many women find it difficult to submit to headship of their husbands that's uncorrupted did i want to do it and i understand it doesn't make me uncomfortable yeah it's just a really weird question um so what does that mean i think it's like almost It's, like, pre-modern in terms of verbiage.

It's trad. Yeah. Like, the head of the house is the head of the house. It's, like, from the 1700s. Yeah. It's very strange. Okay, okay. Like, in terms of, like, you make your own laws in your house.

Right. So this question isn't quite asking why do people not want to submit to the headship. It's why do they find it difficult. Like, they're just like, oh, it's so hard. Like, this is a thing that should be happening. Yeah. That's the tone of the question of that. This is the reality.

I'm trying to submit headship. accept it it doesn't make any sense the top answer is from a like a guy who's explaining it through the bible and how the bible is actually not a guy oh laura baybird you were correct whoa two sexists on this podcast i don't even think a couple of you know what whatever i can't read there it's come out on episode 11. uh yeah so uh it says in ephesians 5 uh that actually there is no headship of the house checkmate atheist this one person wrote an answer that's like there's nothing nothing good has grown from one person seeking dominion and control over another which i thought was they all go way back with word use but this person

your dominion use is wrong um but they're like there's nothing good comes from this but then they say you don't need a relationship to have subordinates in your life that's a row for staff oh my god it's a website for bosses yeah it's like that's where our bosses can feel at home yeah your wife is a queen who is your equal yeah your intern go ahead make them eat shit they can do nothing against you it's in the bible they have no power this one i think more than the last one does feel like a troll question like i don't think you would genuinely ask this here it depends on so i can't tell if the website works in terms of like sub quoras in a way we're like yeah i'm posting this to uh headship questions sure sure uh i think there are some sub quoras

yeah sub core are you guys saying sub quora as a pun we're saying it as a joke on like sub sub reddit oh like a mini folder i thought you guys were making like a dominant submissive joke yeah we're in the dom quora i was like yeah did you guys just connect on this completely like we've been spending a lot of time together no i think you were just saying it like a subreddit uh yeah yeah which could be a dom thing i don't know it could be for the home page yeah yeah dom reddit it's just like all contractors okay i found this one on the train i didn't know what category to put this in but i will be hitting uh-huh honey to ask this question but in a way where i don't necessarily approve of what it is which is why is spanking

teenagers bad this is um first of all messed up uh first of all this is bad i'd like to reiterate i did not write any of these these are all written by and community users like you this person has such a weird do you see this person's job that they've put space till 24 by stepdad yeah this is fetish yeah this is a fetish yeah once you put step in there that's not the question author yeah yeah yeah from the question it's not though this is the answer this is the answer by taylor who is answering the question and says it's not so i could see you being like a fetish person and then be like no do it this is absolutely i think you're right that this is fully a fetish person spanked by their stepdad till they were 24 i will say this person you were bad when you

were 23 to tie to tie to tie this into our last question this person's bio on quora is husband-led household yeah this is someone this is someone with a kink who is acting it out in bad ways for the community as a whole what i think is weird is how many people are for it and that does lead me to believe that it is a kink so like there's people just saying like it's not it's the best time to start i'm gonna say also this person has answered this question about 50 times across many different chorus and no joke like i'm scrolling through her um profile and like every other one is like i was spanked until i was 24 like please find porn hub yeah yeah it's not that hard it's just like fine forum or like fet life there's so many outlets other than going on core it might be

too easy for them now maybe they just like it's just it's too simple yeah it's absolutely the thrill of like yeah thrusting your kink upon other people yeah but like i like to imagine when they were 25 they kind of turned things around um you know what i mean maybe when they were 24 their stepdad spanked them because they wouldn't stop posting nonsense on quora you're diluting the community feed that's funny all right here's a quora one have we read this before have you ever made an entire movie theater laugh oh no um this is just a uh you're not supposed to make a movie theater laugh i don't think he's supposed to make the movie i i will say at one time i was in a movie uh i was watching um what was it batman be something one of the suicide squads or whatever

and there's a scene what a batman's friends there's a scene where um where they're uh amanda wallace is like what are you gonna do superman shows up and rips the roof off the white house and kills the president and some guy just yelled can't do shit and everyone cracked up and it ruled and then some other guy

kept trying to do jokes to the whole movie and everyone was like you suck. You will never be the guy who says can't do shit. No, yeah. It was in the

Williamsburg movie theater and everyone was very happy about it. That was the funniest one. I ate shit once. No. And I made a theater laugh. Oh, so you didn't I thought you were saying

you bombed at first. No, she was saying she fell down the stairs. You fell. Okay, that's better. That's better than like you're in a movie, you yell something and someone's like, that's not funny. Was it like when you knocked the water over when you went, ah! That's exactly what happened.

What was the movie? It was, what was the one that just came out? Oh, In the Heights. Oh, sure. That is a funny movie to fall down the stairs at. It's an extremely funny movie to fall during. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty good. Because everyone's dancing.

Everyone's like in amazing shape. Everyone's navigating stairs flawlessly. Flawlessly, and I just eat it. everyone cracked up oh man people were laughing and then i like i was getting up to go to the bathroom and so then i like was so embarrassed it's a long movie too it's a long movie and i hurt myself damn i was injured that's the worst and then i like skedaddled off to the bathroom as fast as i could and locked myself in a stall so i could like calm down and literally nurse my wounds and then i heard a bunch of teenagers come in and go did you guys see that lady

how did you find me that actually made it better yeah that's what tipped it over from me being like sad about it to me being like all right that's pretty funny i haven't had the experience of hurting myself and everyone else laughs so much since like i was like six years old i've had that before i when i uh when i played tennis once when i was like 15 or whatever like the perfect age to like be embarrassed by stuff yeah yeah i was wearing those pants that you were so good at it I was so good at it. I was wearing pants that had buttons all on the side, you know, and I, um, my, as I was running across the court, a button got caught on a net and I tripped and my pants flew like

15 feet from me. That's funny. That's organically. They should put that in a movie theater. Uh, none of the kids laughed. You gotta do that. None of the kids laughed. All of the parents laughed.

I mean, I'm laughing now. It was deeply embarrassing. Oh no. And then were you like chasing after them like, my pants! I was like, oh no! And then someone, I think a girl too, picked them up for me and gave them to me so I could put them back on.

I thought you'd want these. And I had to button them up. You had to like button them up and then put them on because they're like just a flat pants. This is the worst thing I've ever heard happen to a person. Yeah, yeah. When I wanted tearaway pants, this wasn't what I meant.

Don't wear, you know, underwear underneath those boxer briefs good lord uh yeah i'm lucky to still be alive okay um oh should i read out what this person did to make their movie theater laugh oh yeah i totally forgot we've been doing that uh this guy says my wife did we were watching x-men days of future past and the scene where hugh jackman gets out of bed naked came on the screen my wife says in a not quite uh soft enough voice well that's worth the eight bucks right there almost every woman in the place said uh-huh and the whole place burst out laughing. Wow, a coordinated uh-huh.

That's much rarer than a whole laugh. I would think I'm in a cult if that happened. Then everyone said, yes, sir. And we all laughed. I'll have what she's having, they all said. This is the most lie-heavy thread I think we've ever found. It's extremely Reddit. The top comment just says, your wife is awesome.

Upvote for wife. That never happened. that's true up quora for wife uh so many great answers in this one um this is what i found on the train which i just thought was a really good question i didn't read any of the answers but it's can you get pregnant having soft core sex okay that's an amazing question what does that mean soft core is usually a movie category i think you could actually do something which is like just kissing close up if you're nice to the girl can she still get pregnant if you're a man wearing a white button-down shirt

can the wind blow that open uh i think softcore by definition there's you can't get in there right you can't get in there right i don't know or is it softcore like you go in but there's like a sheet all right so you know the scene in the room where tommy we so has sex but you see i guess you see his like whole ass you see a lot of his ass but you don't see insertion is that soft course when i saw it i was like well that's worth the eight bucks everyone else said everyone else said is my new favorite i have no idea but i guess i always thought of soft core is just missionary with like no genitals shown like just butts which is well that's the movie of soft core but if you're doing missionary is that hardcore because then you are having sex this is what i'm wondering i think you

gotta see stuff going in i think you gotta see genitals touching i think you gotta see you gotta to see him touch yeah otherwise it's soft core if i close my eyes could she get pregnant yeah i don't know if you have a really long body if you're gumby and you're impregnating your girlfriend now i'm just imagining hanging out with a bunch of like porn people sure like all the hardcore people being like like the same way that people in like who are into metal bands in front of people who like emo right you only like softcore. Oh my god. You can't even do hardcore. Hey, the money's right.

Your genitals don't touch. Softcore I think has been eliminated from the culture since we've been alive. That does not exist. Softcore is specifically made for premium television after midnight. People have romance novels. I think that's maybe the closest you can

get still. Because there's nothing hardcore about a novel, is there? It's always a cracking good read. Yeah, I guess. I mean, they could describe it. They could describe hardcore porn yeah there they were fucking blowing it they touched and then they touched again that illustration from quora i said you earlier yeah with the coming written into the book um i don't want to read this guy's whole answer by the way but he does give a weird thing where

he was like saying like well technically even if you just like grind you could get pregnant because sperm can soak through clothing. What? If you're in a hot tub and you're wearing loose pants, she can still get pregnant. If you're grinding and your sperm soaks through the clothing, you don't need to have normal sex. That's better than any experience.

You should go to a doctor. You have too much sperm. Your sperm is too powerful. You have to donate your body to science at that point. Okay, well, that was informative for me, I think. Sure. maybe do maybe do one more yeah do you have one more you want to do and then we'll ask a question yeah call it a podcast okay we could do one i think of a short one okay is the 9-11 memorial

haunted nope fair enough i feel like we also did that one no we never did that one okay well i think it is um if his child is born without any interaction with other humans for 18 years what language does he or she speak? Okay, this is in Corbidden Knowledge. Corbidden Knowledge. Ah. I think it's English. I think it's gotta be English.

It's God's tongue. Come on, English, English, English. It's the natural tongue of all things. I'm more interested, like, how do they think? Yeah. Like, what language do they think it is? I've always heard that if you have no interaction then your brain doesn't develop and you yeah that makes sense there's actually like a vegetable

that's so sad for this pretend person okay so the picture here is like a cartoon uh engraving sure that's a funny way of saying like a medieval painting is a cartoon yeah it's a crayon drawing i think it's uh peter griffin what we have here is an ancient peter griffin with a eagle uh so it says he was frederick ii holy roman emperor i think it's the second in 13th century frederick asked a similar question and conducted experiments to determine the answer he wondered if they would speak hebrew which should be their first language greek latin arabic or the language of their parents he ordered the children and newborn nurse to an isolated location the nurses had to feed the children but not interact with them and specifically not talk to them however frederick never found the

answer this question as the children without human interaction died that makes sense they die i was right before i didn't really need did they like do you think that when they said no interaction with other humans they like forgot to feed them no because you can't feed them but they're just like they gotta they're like wait let me tell you my favorite tv show the terrible answer what if you what if you call drawings peter griffin's we should make a movie about these children rising up and destroying this man. I was about to say I'd love to make a movie about these children, but by definition, nothing happens to them.

Yeah. Pretty boring movie. It's kind of like Buried with Ryan Reynolds. They're set to cook is what it is. Yeah. Yeah, it's like 21 hours, but of a baby being alone, not James Franco trapped in a rock. Oh, yes, yes.

Did I get the number right? Is it 21 hours? Oh, yeah, yeah, you were not at all correct. What was it? I think it's 27. 17 hours? 27 hours? I thought it was 100 or something for some reason.

We all understand. It's 185,000 hours. I thought it was 124. James Franco was in real life trapped under rocks. It's 127 hours. I was not even a little close. I thought it was so much easier for him. This is worse than when I spilled the water.

I hate to be like this, but 27 hours. I mean, who cares even? It's like a day. So I sawed my arm off after half a day. It'll be great. 36 minutes. I sawed my arm off. Yeah, just looking at this, I can tell.

Oh, I got to solve this up. Have you seen that movie? No, no. He jacks off in it like halfway through, like a few hours. He's like, might as well jack off. I could see myself doing it or jacking off like 16 hours. And I, well, if you're alone for that long, I mean, the panicked human mind, who among us really, who will cast the first stone innocent actor?

I do it last day. So his name, uh, end of the day, folks. Yeah. Do we have any questions we want to ask for Cora before we call it a day? Oh, yeah. Let's ask Cora. If we just pick a topic, we can brainstorm this out. Ask people why there's so much fetish stuff.

Okay. Why would you come on Cora and ask a question that is specifically designed to appease your kink when you could simply watch porn? See, here's the thing is, though, it's like the whole thing is the title. So I think it's just why is there so much fetish stuff on Cora? I'm going to say, why is there so much fetish content on Quora when you can just Google and watch porn? Okay. Who are we going to tag in that? So here's the thing about Quora is you've got to get people involved with your question.

Tag the guy who stepdad spanked until they were 24. Oh, yeah, yeah. How do we find that person? where would she i'll find her i'll find her i will search and enhance well that's gonna be jeremy's gonna do that we can get right on into the end of the show here and sam thank you for coming on core raiders the number one show for finding out what is quora i don't know what it is and the listeners want to know where can they find you at home uh you can find me on all social media at samley matters s-a-m-l-y-m-a-t-t-e-r-s okay that's easy and fun look up sam did you find

the the perv uh you find the perv to tag the perv find me the perv bring us the perv i will not rest until the perv is at my feet i found her but i'm trying to figure out how to tag her step down i genuinely tagged her okay good for real for real i'm very excited like there aren't excited Yeah, yeah. I feel a little messy. Yeah, we called her out. Yeah, well, honesty is the best policy. And that's something we always say here on Quarators.

So until next time, keep quarreling. That's pretty good. I like it.