Quorators - Wife Talk w/ Justin Roczniak & Liam McAnderson

Episode Date: April 27, 2026

Comedians Clare O'Kane, Alex Ptak, and Jeremy Kaplowitz explore the mysterious land of Quora.com to answer life's questions. This week's questions include: Why do wives cheat on good hard working men? I was visiting a married couple the other day. They were arguing. Later that day I saw the wife coughing up and spitting something nasty in her husband's smoothie. Was it my job to tell the husband? Why can't an 84-year-old woman have a small glass of brandy before bed? --- Listen to Roz and Liam's podcast @ https://www.wtyppod.com/ Get even more Quorators when you support the show @ patreon.com/quorators Send quoras and qommunicate on our discord discord.gg/7pPYuKuYCr Watch the show @ youtube.com/@quorators

You guys all talk till I finish my bar. Alright, alright, let's do the What Would You Do Sexually to Alex Patek? I would start with. No, wait, I want to hear it. Finish the bit. He's very handsome. He's very handsome. No, no, no. I'd give you a returnd if you wanted it. No, thank you. I got you.

Whatever I can say to make you uncomfortable is the things I want to do. I don't think you can make Alex uncomfortable. I don't think so. He loves a returnd. You're trying to get a spit take out of me. He's like, spit out my bar. It's like fucking chalk in here We're on video We can do physical comedy

That's right yeah There's a fucking episode of 10,000 Losses Where Patrick our guest vomits on air Because he felt so bad He was like trying to soldier through it And he like vomits on air we had to cut it And we're just like are you throwing up And he like does the one second I'll be fine thing

And he goes yes I almost threw up on this podcast once I've thrown up on one of your comedy things I made Jeremy eat a spider I wanted to see if he had what it took It was funny Was the fear factor his ass? I don't know how I feel

I did win $25,000 But he hasn't given it to me I've been saying Alex is the Joe Rogan of the left For a long time But only because he makes our guests eat types of bugs It's a big gross bug Or they gotta live in mud Or something

I think we should do a fear factor kind of episode Where it's like okay you're gonna have to click on this quora thing without throwing up or or crying how would you like to get no i don't even want to say that i don't like tentacles good it'll be less to our imagination then yeah i don't like them either with that said i'm going to start the show and we're going to play the theme song and do our little dance I always thought you just said that. I did say it at one point.

He said it at one point. It was just once, though. I said it as a robot. I can't just organically do a robot voice that good. That's a computer doing that. I feel like Alex, of all the talents you have, that would be among them. You thought I was like Reggie Watson-ing it live

every time I get in the loop going. Okay, podcasting. With the sound of the robot, we're back. Another week at Quora Raiders, America's premier Quora-based podcast. Thank you for tuning in once again. Quora Raiders weather report. Raining today.

It's raining. You need your coat. Don't go out without your coat. It's a little bit chilly out there. Well, if you went out without your coat, you'd be unprepared, much as you are unprepared for our exciting guests today. All the way from the Well, There's Your Problem podcast

Down Under on YouTube.com. You're going to love this. Are you guys Australian? Yeah, we're actually... Straight from Melbourne. They're here live from Melbourne, and they took the train all the way here. It's Justin

and Roz, everybody. Justin and Roz. That's the same guy. Fuck face. We're taking it again. We're taking it again. We're Liam and Roz. I've been flubbing nobody's business for weeks in a row. It's like I'm trying to get

fired for my only position of power. I like that our audio is exclusively Peaks. I've been daring Jeremy to fire me every time I get on the mic. That's how I feel with Roz. I'm just like, alright, what can I say? Well, there's your problem.

It's going to get me fired and then nothing happens to me. How do I get my severance? The company is structured. It's impossible for any of us to fire each other. That's good. That's mutual detente. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm happy to announce, well, there's a problem coming up.

We got the Israel is good, actually. Well, there's your solution, and it's being Israeli. It's a very long presentation today. It is the entire Torah. Folks, the Torah. Not that long. Do you want to take that again, Alex? The entire Torah.

Our podcast is finally having its bar mitzvah. We're going to get you guys in the chair. We're halfway there. We've been doing it for seven years, dude. We're halfway there. Our Torah. Our podcast is in Hebrew school. Deep in the trenches.

I've always thought of your podcast as my Torah. Wow. Thank you. It's kind of my guiding light. I went to Hebrew school as a kid, and it was mostly the teachers being like, do you guys know any older men I could date? Oh, yeah. Really?

Yeah. It really sounds like we're setting up a different episode than the one we're doing right now. I also went to Hebrew school from ages 5 to 16. Nice. Yeah, and I had more than one Sunday school teacher who was just like, all right, where are the fine men at? I don't know what to tell you. I'm 13.

I have this very distinct memory of being in, like, maybe, like, fifth or sixth grade, and one of the kids in my Hebrew school asked the teacher, what is sex like? And the teacher being like, if I knew, I could tell you. Oh, God. That's awful. Hang on a second.

But it's supposed to be pretty nice. Because we got sex ed in Sunday school. Wow. In my synagogue. That was more thorough and comprehensive than the public school sex ed. Yes. They're just like, this is a condom. This is how it works.

This is how, like, this is a vibrator. It feels good. This is how you get the sperm out of a corpse in the battlefield. Yeah, you just. You need a vibrator to get it out. I went to Catholic school, and my sex ed class was called Theology of the Body. That's right, big dog. That's right, big dog.

Dude, that's too sexy. I want to worship your body. I went to Catholic school, and the priests were like, hey, you guys know of any young hot guys? Just kidding. And there were lots of them. Mostly other students. They were all over the school.

Well, this is a natural segue into what our topic is this week, which is, of course, wife talk. Killing spree. We're going to talk wives and talk shop here on the pod Now we're all married adults He's not Except for Roz

Three of us have wives, one of us is a wife Roz is friend of wife Yeah, you're friend of wife Roz and I have discussed marriage before so I guess that counts Insurance reasons We talked about it Our insurance bills

I'm taking my shoes off You're all in the splash zone now. Okay. I never wanted to sit in that zone. Yes, you did. Well, girlfriends are a form of wife as well. I like that you guys are trying to do a, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, millennial style.

Do you guys know this movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good movie. He's always bringing it up, too. Well, it's a good idea. Always walking into Chuck and Larry. It's the worst thing that ever happens is I have to spend the rest of my life with my best friend.

I could do it a lot worse. That's beautiful. Oh, there you go. And you're firefighters, I think. If I remember correctly. Yeah, that's right. We'd have to share a bank account is the problem. I would.

We kind of already do. We have the podcast account. Yeah, that's true. Wow, that's true. Yeah, we kind of not. We share a bank account. Yeah. I don't even share one with my real wife.

And we're having sex. Wow. Cool. That's unrelated. We're just fucking on the side, actually. This has nothing to do with our romance. We're just fucking on the side. Which, hi, Corinne, if you listen to this.

Hello. We'll get right into it. Now, Justin has been on the show before, as we've discussed. We're going to click around Quora and look at the questions and say, those are pretty good questions. We'll try to answer them, and we'll look at the other answers that are already on there. Liam, have you been on Quora organically before? No. Well, you're going to have a great time.

I can't wait. It's pretty much Facebook, but worse. I deleted my Facebook at a peak. Well, you're back. The social media I have is down to Twitter and fucking Blue Sky, which is salting to me, frankly. Those are the two worst ones. Claire, I know. I like Blue Sky better.

I think it's... I like Blue Sky better because people don't yell at me as much. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, wow, Liam, you're so smart and handsome. I'm like, yeah, fucking right. The main thing about Twitter and Blue Sky is it is the same thing two times with different people on it. Right. So it really feels like an Xbox PlayStation style battle

that you get to live for the rest of your life. I play PC. Exactly. Exactly. Blue Sky is like all like Gen Xers, right? And then Twitter. Resist libs. Hashtag no DMs.

Hashtag DM equals block. Hashtag resist. And then Twitter is sort of like a pack of mutant wolves who want to hunt you down. Yeah. I don't know which one is better. I would say Twitter is Rape Academy. Yeah, it's fair.

They should never have turned that into an academy. I was about to say, who's doing the accreditation there? JD Vance, dude. I guess so, yeah. He's in charge of a lot of things. He wears a lot of hats. Oh, I would love to see him in a hat for once. Oh, yo, cool flat brims?

You know what JD's problem is? He's not wearing a cool flat brim all the time. Like a 95-bowl snapback. That's sick. Get him in the Cookie Monster hat, I say. Yeah, you just got to change the shape of his head. I've been saying that. But the first start on this show,

but I'm grabbing the conversation with both hands. Okay, it's Space of the Week. We are going to go to a space, which is like a subreddit, but it's a space. It's wife talk. Yeah! Yeah! Space of the Week!

Yeah! Of course, of course. Google J.D. Vance in a hat. Men's quarter colon dating women. Oh, that is unfortunate. He's wearing a hat. It says... What does it say on it?

It says Rusty-less. What? Oh, no, Ruthless. Oh, Ruthless. Okay. How tall is she? Ruth lesbian. Can you Google how tall Ginny Vance is real quick for me?

We got off the rails. All right, hold on. Is the idea like it's a Ruth Bader Ginsburg hat? Apparently he's 6'2". He is not 6'2". There's no way that guy's 6'2". He's kind of a dream man. What's a Ruth Bader Ginsburg hat?

Well, it's like she died, and he was like, looks like we're Ruth-less now, big dog. And then he was dapping people up, and he was also wearing a meatwad flat brim when he did it. We used to have Steve Jobs and Ruth. I could fuck JD Vance up, I think is the thing. Did you say up? Yeah.

Thank you for adding the preposition there, because otherwise. Listen, man, I'm a power top, you know, and I have thoughts here. We already discussed this. The Pope needs to shoot J.D. Vance. With a gun, with a Tommy gun. Yeah, Chicago typewriter.

Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah. He's a sovereign. What are they going to do? Arrest the Pope? He's a foreign leader. He's like a king, basically. It's good that you're getting in front of the rumors, too,

that he could beat you up, because I never thought those were true. Thanks, Alex. J.D. Vance. Yeah. Liam's going to kick his ass. Well, we're on Men's Corner, colon, dating women. All right.

There's 9.4 thousand followers It's a place for guys to talk about dating And relationships with women I've always been bad at this So I might learn something today Oh yeah the whole point of this podcast Is to teach Roz how to date women Scroll down a little bit

We have 46 contributors here It's helpful that the main admin Of this space is Andy Murphy Who's a relationship coach With Masters in Ethics That's kind of like the right wing gender degree, don't you think? Masters in ethics?

Masters in ethics. He's mastered it. Yeah, he's in charge of it. Very ethical man. He decides what's ethical. Did you guys have ethics classes in Catholic school? No. Sort of. Alex, where'd you grow up? Boston. The city of Boston.

What high school did you go to? It wasn't the city of Boston. It was a suburb. Immediately, he has a backtrack. Beantown adjacent. Yeah, but it was Southie Law Elementary. Okay, so my dad went to BC Prep. That's why I asked.

Oh, that's nice. My grandpa was a triple eagle. He loved saying that. He went to all the BCs you could go to. It's called Boston College, but they make them for like dogs and children and high schoolers. My dad went to BC High School and then went to Boston College for a semester.

I was like, fuck this. I went to UMass. It's like I live too close to my dad. Fuck that. I'm going to UMass. It's a great place to wear a polo. Yeah, and shorts. You gotta wear a polo and shorts.

Fishing shirt and shorts. Yep. Right. And that helps you adjust to the cold temp, too. Hang on. This space is for italics. Bold. Bold italics.

Bold italics. Okay, let's read it. Andy Murphy is explaining on the pinned... This is not a dating site. Pinned post. Okay. The space is for discussing men's issues about dating and relationships. Please note this is not a dating site.

Please read below about commercials. So I guess you can do commercials here. if you want to advertise to Roz while he's trying to figure out his Mac game. It seems like a big nightmare. The thing with Roz, I don't want to embarrass him too much, but this is my job as his best friend,

is Roz can talk to any woman there is, and he gets nervous, but all women are instantly charmed by Roz because he's cool, and he's nice, and he's funny, and they're just like, oh, I want you in my pants, and then Roz doesn't realize this. Immediately fumble it.

because girls have done this to you they're just like wow you're really sexy take me home and you're like I just thought she was being nice yeah I just thought she was being nice let me look at some trades real quick have you considered that you're just after the hunt maybe you should run a train yeah

maybe that's the mindset you need to get into I'm not even going to get into that so open up the swift stream can't get everyone on New York central swift stream I like that idea. If you told a girl, honest to God,

I want to take you on the private car, I mean, I would throw myself at you. I'm doing it right now. Take me home. No, we need like three months to book it. It's so interesting that you came on this episode to learn how to date, but you've already mastered the art from Liam five minutes ago.

I'm married. It works. We haven't even really clicked around yet. I've had a question on Men's Corner Dating Women because I'm still doing the podcast. And the question was, are old men dating? And the answer is yes, they find love.

Yes, period. They find love. Are old men dating? Well, that's by Sarah Portillo who's a masseuse at Massage. Oh, that's one of the best positions at Massage. She's the boss at hairstylist.

Damn, Sarah. I'm a creative and passionate hairstylist who loves helping people feel confident and I don't care. What do we got to do for you to marry my friend Ross? Take your pants off. We can ask the question.

We can't wait. I think she says she's married to a Marine behind the box here. Maybe I made that up. Jeremy is including some crazy capitalizations asking her if she'll marry Roz. Makes it more real. Okay, I'm adding a question. It's ladies only. What would Roz have to do for you to marry him?

And we'll see if anyone answers it by the end of this podcast. Hand to God. If he wants me to Roz, I'll shoot them with a gun. I'm not changing my question, Cora. Fuck off. The real risk here is that they're going to think you're talking about Roz from Monsters, Inc. We're going to get a lot of answers about that.

We got the AI assistant answering the question? Yeah, but we're not going to pay for that. We're going to keep this open like a cooking show and see what happens at the end. Here's one we made earlier. Do we want to see who... Sorry, go Claire.

What else are they saying on there? Why are we looking at Kelvin Brady Dillon. He's the guy who wants to know if old men are dating. Yeah, so here's the thing. I can answer this question without Cora. So I am a social worker at a senior center.

They're fucking. They're fucking, they're sucking, they're fucking. You walking in on people? Do I walk in on people? I have walked in on a couple using the bathroom together not in a perverse water sports way, but just like oh, they're just trying to get nasty in the bathroom.

It's uncouth. Okay, so not in a perverse way, but they are trying to get nasty in there. They're not doing that. They're peeing on each other's where I draw the line. There's no fetish. I'm fine with water sports, just not in my senior center. They're just snogging. There's a finesse here.

It's a thin yellow line. They're bloody snogging in the stalls. You have to walk in to tell them to cut it out already. I thought you were just saying because they're elderly and they can't pee alone. No, they can pee alone. They're just fucking, man. They're just sucking and fucking. Well, venereal disease is a real issue in there.

You would not imagine the rates at which seniors have venereal disease. It's through the roof. Now, here's my question. Is Kelvin Brady Dillon the guy in The Matrix who betrays everyone for steak? No. No, no, no. Oh, no. That's Joey Pants.

Oh, Joey Pantoliano? This guy is- Face blindness, brother. I just thought it was Kelvin Brady Dillon. You can understand that. This guy is an actor. It says he's in Entourage and in Cartoon. Okay.

Go do it. Wait, we have a button for that. We have a new button for peeing that we will be pressing when someone pees. Liam's going to pee now. And so. All right, go and pee, girl. I don't know why I said that. It's so funny.

From previous guest, Tim Barnes. Is my wife in the bathroom? We made her. Now, you can kind of pace by the door for a minute. See if that helps. Yeah, wife episode. Wives rule the world. Yeah, it is sort of the wife episode.

Is this Kevin Dillon? I don't think it's the real Kevin Dillon. You got to move on, brother. I didn't realize that it was supposed to be even a photo of that guy. Okay, I'm sorry. You got to move on. I'm sorry. Everybody, let's all be cool.

What if my girlfriend doesn't want to be supposed to be cool? Let's scroll up to women want a good man. Or a man who's hard to get. Neither. No answers. There's 18 on the other question. I think we can extrapolate from Roz's history that they want a man who's hard to get, but they can't have him. Yes, that's right.

The thing is, he's not hard to get. He just needs to pay attention more. I don't know. hard to get. They're not getting him. That's difficult. ADD is its own challenge. It's also the other thing, but that's fine.

My favorite thing about Roz is just like I have had numerous people come up to me and be like, Roz is really cute. And I'm just like, and I pass this on to him. He's like, yeah, they're really cute. And then does nothing with it. Right. Yes. You dumb asshole. That's just how the world is sometimes. Beautiful people can acknowledge each other.

No, they need to smush. this is all some wife talk we're trying to live through you we're trying to get you out and get you some strange I will say life is far less complicated without smushing oh yeah

really nice life riding the rails I do like trains they rode a rail today I saw it on twitter we did we were very uncomfortable the newest cello seats suck the woman across from me was very rude I hope that she fell into the cracks.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Mind the gap. That's going to stop the train. I hope she didn't mind the gap and pounded sand and then ate shit. Oh, no. Pound sand. Related question, who has pegged her man?

That's a good wife question. I've pegged my man. You've pegged your man? I've pegged my man. Nice, dude. I do want to know who on Quora has pegged her man, and the answer is Mrs. B. Mrs. B.

She says, I keep begging my partner for him to give it a shot, but he's hesitant. I have pegged several other guys though and all of them claim to have enjoyed it I'm sorry it's Ms. B I try to peg him at least three times on weekends he loves anal stimulation it's fun and he orgasms every time I've been pegging him since the first week we met

since the first week and she's a photographer at Big Photo oh I love Big Photo you should let a man do it I would truly like to be pegged but not able to find a woman well this has been an interesting exploration of dating Let's go to the wife questions because I do want to talk wives here on Wife Talk.

Hit the button. Wifey. Claire, you're a wife. It's true. This is core romance. Our romance and dating questions. Should I let my wife talk with anybody? Fellas, we've all wondered this.

Yes. Because I don't think my wife is going to cheat on me. That is the real question is like, do you think that that's all it takes and she'll be gone? Because then you can't let her. I don't think so. It's like letting your dog outside. My wife is just like, okay, so here's the thing about my wife.

This is going to go out to the general public, right? No, no one's going to hear this. I'm not even sure we're recording. Here's the thing about my wife. She's very scary. Roz knows. Yes. Yes.

My mother has said about my wife and to my wife, you would make a very efficient dictator. Oh, wow. she would. I agree. You guys have met my wife. We have met your wife. I'm scared. She's a good talker. She talked to all of us a lot. That's an important quality of a dictator.

She's a good talker. Should my wife talk to anybody? Yeah, fuck yeah. Let's see if you can rob them. Yeah, sure. If you trust that they're not going to leave you and that maybe they'll rob someone for you, then in that case, you should let them talk with them. A lot of people are worried that the second your wife

leaves your sphere of control, that she will wander away and never return. Like World War II Japan. Yeah. You can let your wife talk to Roz. Sure. Because you know he's not going to finish the deal.

Closers all the way. Maybe that's the synthesis. You just don't let your wife talk to closers. They should have to label themselves. You're good, William. Go. Go on P, girl. Go on P, girl.

I'm not hitting the button again. It's too far away. What is Aaron saying here? All right, we have an answer from Aaron Smith. Wait, can I just ask real quick, should I let my wife talk with anybody? Do you think the question is she's not allowed to talk to a single person

or is the question like, should there be any limits? Can she talk with anybody? Oh, I guess she shouldn't talk with a serial killer because then they'll find out clues about her. Okay. You're going to take your wife, you're going to lock her in an extremely small box.

Yes, yes, yes. Metaphorically. She's your box wife. Yeah. After that box. One of you guys want to read this Aaron Smith answer? Yeah, Aaron Smith is a, I assume he has a wife, or at least thinks about them a lot.

He says, if that anybody involves any males, then all caps, no. Look, dude, I am a guy. Thanks for clarifying. And let me be extremely frank and open with you. Like, completely naked open. Okay. This world is full of assholes like me who always stare and ogle women and girls of all age

like there's no tomorrow. Ew. FYI, I have a underpit slash underarm and belly button fetish. Nice, dude. What does that mean? FYI. Now, let's say, for instance, you are walking down the street with your wife hand in hand

and she's wearing a sleeveless dress. Oh, my. Is that legal? Liam's back. We're finding out if you should let your wife talk to anybody. This man has an answer. I would like to point out. It's the answer right there.

To this point. I'll kill you. I gotta read it. This is my apartment now. I'm Jeremy. I unzip my skin and I'm Jeremy Kaplan. You're not Jeremy. This is the Israel episode.

Jeremy should have kicked him more. All right, I didn't kick Liam at the stop of this. That was off mic, I guess. Yeah, before the show started, Jeremy was like kicking everybody. Just kind of show his boss. Just write the nads, which felt a little rude, honest to God. He yelled my nads. When we had David Cross on, I did accidentally spill his water everywhere.

On my laptop. It was very dominant. I am fucking hard. Hang on one second. I'm going to read this answer. I'm going to read it. Does that say you're smooth, clean-shaven, creamy, buttery, underarm slash armpit? I'm going to read the answer.

We're going to get there. Keep going, Alex. Go. I had already started. Power through. Okay. So he's got an armpit, underarm, belly button fetish. Now let's say, for instance, you are walking down the street with your wife hand in hand.

With your wife. She's wearing a sleeveless dress. You're walking with your wife. I pass by you guys and the gust of wind blows through her hair and ruffles it all up. She uses her hand to straighten her hair and that's where she exposes her smooth, clean-shaven, creamy, buttery underarm slash armpit. Oh my. And I stare and ogle at it thinking, OMFG, what would her fucking armpit taste like right now? So I guess, yeah, no one should talk to this guy.

And even in the hypothetical, no one has talked to her. No one's ever spoken to this man. Whatsoever to this point. Even if you come by, he's going to look at that armpit. Now think for a second. If I don't know her and I can have such dirty thoughts about her, just imagine what I'd think and do to her if she fucking started talking to an asshole like me.

I'd definitely fuck her brains out on the first date itself. That's a really good verbiage for you. There's a major logical leap here, which is that you talk to her and then you have a first date. Yeah. Despite she is married. Right.

Well, maybe he's in Japan where a date is a more casual commitment. Buy a gun. I think he's in Japan. Maybe it's a... Or it's like France. I do like the FYI, I have an armpit slash underarm

and belly button fetish. Yeah. He's clearly attracted to underarm slash armpit. What is a belly button fetish? What's that doing for you? It's like seeing Tums? You know when people have a fear of holes? I think it's like the opposite of that.

Hang on a second. Your belly button is just your old mouth. Oh, my God. Is that true? Oh, because the tube goes in there. Baby talk. Whoa. Baby talk.

All right. There's one more paragraph here. I'm Jewish. I was born a doctor. That's really interesting, and we will explore that. I'm going to read the last paragraph. Don't ever talk to anybody, whoever it might be. I'd say you monitor her calls to her male cousins and friends as well.

Her male cousins? What? Male cousins? There's no knowing what might happen because you very well know how fucking men's minds work. Of course, let her talk to any and all females as much as she wants. There ain't any harm in that. But remember, do not, I repeat, do not let her talk to any males if you know what's good for you. And that has one upvote from us just now.

uh the cousins thing got sprinkled in there but i generally agree with aaron here that uh he's a he's a nasty perv and he's gonna touch the 8 000 answers i'm fine i saw my dream lag account what is league of angels oh what is league of angels it says like if you can't afford league of legends also his his bio just says human being i don't believe that when should poison ivy grow a dick good question maybe so you could fuck yourself with it can anyone what these are answers he's provided these are his questions questions like how are you so beautiful sarah sarah do not talk to him he's a closer have you and your wife ever had threesomes slash foursomes have you watched her doing it with others and vice versa oh and then of course

three years ago his final question could you kindly share several pictures of your bare clean-shaven armpits slash underarms. Females only, please. This doesn't apply. He has asked this question before, and it's been all guys being like, check out my underarm. I've been really working on it.

Hold on. There's one answer on this. Hey, smell this. Curses. Final clauses. So this is a guy who's really mad he can't share it. And he also says, hey, you've seen the armpits group. I don't know what that means.

I assume there's just a group for armpits. Do you have to get invited? To the armpits group? It's a big armpit party. No one's going to hear you on this podcast if you don't talk into the microphone. I like this question on the side. Can you share some pictures of your mom?

Parentheses Indian. Wait, I missed that. I picked the wrong one. Can you share some pictures of your mom? Parentheses Indian. If you click on it, it's going to be Indian moms. Who are the world's most beautiful teenagers? Oh, no.

No, thanks. That's a trap. Don't listen to that. No, thanks. Click the next question on the dog. We got 11 questions on the dog. Just go to the next question on the dark. It's wife week.

Grabbing the podcast. Why do wives cheat on good, hardworking men? This is what we're all asking. Usually it's because they're bad, right? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, probably. Because the men are bad or the women are bad? Well, the wives who cheat are bad in this case.

For sure, for sure. I knew a guy who cheated on his wife. And it was just like, it was not nice. And we're not friends anymore. but he was he was just like friendship is over with guys

well yeah because it was just like this is really gross and he was just like well I'm not getting what I want out of my wife I was like well then why the fuck

did you get married like I got married because like I A love my wife B I'm very afraid is she hard working yeah okay

is she hard working yeah she's and also she's terrifying and would cut me into little fish how did you find out about this affair did he was he bragging

about it yeah he was he was bragging for all to see yeah like Alex I'm not exaggerating

he was like like bragging about it Yeah. Well, there's a certain type of Lothario will do these things. Super gross. Yeah, yeah. I got to talk into the mic. I mean, he's behaving like a cheating wife in that scenario.

Yeah. But the other way around. I don't get it. I love your plants, Jeremy. Thank you. Dust off camera, Jeremy has some great plants. They're very good plants, yeah. I just, like, why would you?

Dude, like, if I, not that I even would ever dream about it, but, like, if I were to cheat on my wife, I would be cut into, like, you know those, like, little thin chicken strips? Yeah, the tiny ribs. like dog food you would never survive in that case why get married

if you're going to cheat that's a great question or just be Polly I know someone who cheated on every boyfriend she ever had and now she's Polly and she's very happy I know one guy that's literally me who was like

yeah I'm Polly and he's been dating the same girl for like four years no other girls either He's like, yeah, I'm polyamory. I don't, I think more than one girl will want to have to date you, which I think is the rub here. I see.

There's a new exotic word for that, and I forget what it is. Monogamy? Monogamous polyamory. That's not real. As a member of the community, do you know about this? I'm not a part of the community.

I don't want to be a part of any community. Oh, listen to that voice. You never show up at any of the meetings. I'm doing my own thing. They're always podcasting during the meetings. They're polyamory meetings. A lot of conflict there because many of them are podcasters. That's true.

Would you guys get mad if I started my own podcast with two other guys? No, that's called pottyamory. I would have to respect it, but it would get me off. Alex is actually a podcast cuckold. That's not a sentence anyone's ever said before. I'm humiliated and ashamed. I want to see the answers on this. We have one from Happy Days.

Ooh. I don't know what it says, but your answer makes an assumption that only unfair things happen to the bad guys who deserve it, right? In reality, cheating affects the cheater's lack of empathy, entitlement, desire for newness, impulsivity to which they can possess any one or all of those attributes. Imagine a kitten. Oh, I like that. I like imagining a kitten. No, I don't want to kick the kitten. Now imagine a woman.

Now imagine a woman other than your wife who you deeply admire. Taylor Swift. If you see that woman kick a kitten... That sounds about right. Does that change the cuteness of the kitten? No. Let that finish.

Let Happy Days finish. Is it any less fuzzy? Any less pointy-tailed? Any less tiny? What are you talking about? Does her action mean the kitten is somehow flawed and deserved the kick? Not at all.

Her behavior was a choice in reflection of her character. You cannot love someone so much that they will not cheat on you. Love does not change the value system of who this adult woman is. The problem with human beings is they do not share the same morals and values such as loyalty that we do. So it goes on for a bit there, but I thought the kitten analogy was really helpful. This is the owner of three successful businesses.

I wonder what they are. Yeah, I'm interested, yeah. I can find out. Happy days. No, I'm thinking of the kitten now that got kicked, and I'm sad. Yeah, oh, dude, you should see Margo, my parents' cat. she was rescued from under a car. Oh, that's good. And she

was like emaciated when they adopted her. Really emaciated. But she's packed on weight. So from the back you're just like, oh, you are chunky. And she's like, she gets on the table, but she's like visibly struggling because the back half of her is loaded.

And you're like, Margo, baby, you gotta try a little bit harder than this. Kind of like a pog kitten. A little pear-shaped kitten. I love Margo. I love Margot. I love my cat. You ever see a kitten from the back?

Oh, my. It's wife talk. Now imagine a woman. This scenario, show me your butt? Imagine a woman hiding under a car. Okay. All right, we're moving on. We have another question here.

I'm taking the reins. Question number three. My reins. This is on affairs of husbands and wives. What's your worst experience as a wife? As Roz's wife, I can answer this question. He won't stop farting. Oh, damn.

I want to hear Claire's answer. Accurate. Oh, okay. She's got you by the balls there. Claire, as a wife, what's your worst experience as a wife? My worst experience as a wife, you know, it's all fine. Even the farts are all right. Nick fart a lot?

But Nick farts so much and so loud. You would never guess. Sound effect farts. He has one of those butts that really make the nice, juicy flap. That's me. I feel targeted by this. It's really nice of you to say. Otherwise, my biggest gripe at the moment is that

he won't put his clothes away after he cleans up. That should be on this quora. Corinne Pauline McGrath I'm looking at you I'm not because if you look at the camera she could watch it she's not going to she doesn't even listen well there's your problem

maybe she's just because she can't see you can I get vulnerable for real real quick sure it's wife talk I'm going to so we're doing IVF right now and it's been successful and that's great but the way they treat women for IVF they're just like so I will

not go into very much detail but the issue was on my end and we did the surgery successfully and all as well but they like the way they treat women during ivf is like you're broken and it's your fault you can't get pregnant is fucking bananas that what is that just negging they're negging you into fertility i i alex i think so yeah make it work no way could you spawn and they're just like and we're just like okay well well my wife's employer redacted is paying for it which is very cool but they're just like yeah like uh congratulations i'm like this has been the worst three weeks of my life fuck you and they're like well congratulations i'm like no like eat my whole dick and ass you gotta imagine that half of

the time it's because of bad cum right my cum is pristine well i mean i don't want to say you but but in many cases it is crazy when they're just like where are you hiding all your eggs bitch yeah they do say that verbatim which is a little wild it's crazy if you bought 12 eggs in a package and there was no eggs in it, you'd have to ask where they're hiding those eggs, bitch. Only go to doctors if they have a thing that says it's a doctor thang on the wall. Do not confuse my medical degree

with your Google search or whatever. Millennial doctors are a real phenomenon that exists. I went to the doctor two weeks ago. She said, thank you for adulting today. That really happened. I don't like that. I don't like that. And I said, thank you for thanking me.

My doctor needs to be minimum 40 years older than I am. Yeah, my doctor, the best doctor I have right now is my psychiatrist, who's, I think, younger than me, but he's also, A, a fan of the show. That's bad. You can't have that. He's like, yeah, I've listened to a couple of episodes of your podcast. It's really good. I'm just like, all right, just give me my drugs. I guess there's nothing legally that says he can't.

He was like 105 years old. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, yes, like, let's let's run away together. You and me, Dr. Moskovitz, let's go. When's he going to listen to the show? I just got a new therapist who I think is younger than me. Sorry. And I don't know how I feel about that.

But in theory, she knows more about psychiatry than I do. Right. But she's Gen Z. But life, I'm going, you don't even know. Well, she's kind of feeling good. She has a daughter's wisdom. Yeah, exactly. You ever ask her if she remembers 9-11?

You're a therapist. If you ever need to clap back at her, that's what you should say. Claire, when were you born? Wait, hold on. 90. I want to talk about the space for a second here. Affairs of husbands and wives is very interesting. This question only has, it has a woman who's verbally abused

and then somebody who just says yes to what is your worst experience as a wife. Affairs of husbands and wives is really good because the only description is everything about affairs of husbands and wives. And you click on it and everyone's talking about something different. And a lot of it is about the nation of Pakistan. if you have to sacrifice somebody go no no no don't read hers it's sad okay i'm not going i'm not going to let's go to the space affairs of husbands and wives i'm glad you checked that before what the fuck is this look at this look at this picture this

This is affairs of husbands and wives. Wow, that is Arizona Clothing Company from JCPenney. Everyone's wearing flannel. We're looking at a header image that is a man snogging a woman, and then what appears to be Mike Myers walking in on them saying, Why are you British today? What is this? Oh, no.

Yeah, he's Austin Powers. He's scared. This isn't groovy at all. Exactly, like that. I'm Austin Powers. It's me, Australian Austin Powers. Oh, no, this isn't groovy. Fuck you and fuck me.

This is what's going on in this base. It's got everything about affairs of husbands and wives. I want to see some questions. If you have to sacrifice one life, it will be yours or your partner's life? Partner's life. Next question. No, no, no, no. It's Rin.

Rin's going in the hole. I think it could be a wide variety of people. What was the song you have stuck in your head again, Roz? What? What's the song you have stuck in your head? I'm going to kill myself, oh, lordy me. All right, that does kind of answer our question. I will sacrifice my life for Corinne, but I won't be happy about it.

You know what I mean? Like, I won't be pleased. Oh, that's nice of you. I have big thumbs down as you are dipped in. I don't enjoy this when I'm being riddled with bullets. It's too bad she's not listening to this episode because there's so much for her to hear. I would sacrifice myself for my husband

if he folded his underwear. Why is he not folded? Don't you have drawers for this? I don't think underwear needs to be folded. I don't need to fold. What kind of drawers are you living in where you have to fold your... That's crazy.

Everyone is yelling. Put it in a place. Put the underwear in its home. Yeah, put it in its home, Claire. It just doesn't even be folded. That's crazy work. He doesn't have to be folded. It doesn't have to be folded.

It doesn't have to be folded. Yeah, exactly. That's a concession I expected. No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. It doesn't have to be folded. You are so full of shit. It's very hostile. Can I ask this real quick, Claire?

Is Nick home right now? No, he's at work. Okay, well, when he listens to this with Corinne, he'll hear it. No, no, it should be folded. The only reason I don't do it is because I have depression. Okay. I have depression, too.

You're not special. i'm noticing a trend between the not folding and depression emerging okay here's a question i was visiting a married couple the other day they were arguing later that day i saw the wife coughing up and spitting something nasty in her husband's smoothie was it my job to tell the husband all right fellas are you talking to the husband if you see a smoothie crime i'm talking i think i'm i think i hate to say i'm agreeing with the answer on Quora, but I'm going to ask the wife, what are you doing, before I tell the husband?

You've got to hear both sides. It depends on who's right. I am immediately calling 911. Hello, poison control board. 911, what is your emergency? I just saw a woman cough and spit in a smoothie.

Let the police handle it. I don't have to get involved. In high school, I had a friend who would always spit in my drink. It is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, so I would probably, from that shared trauma, probably, you know, go out and form a boys' alliance.

You don't think it matters who's right in the argument? No. We don't know. We don't have enough information. You saw them arguing. That's why I'm saying, like, is the argument like, hey, you don't fold your underwear because my name's Claire and I'm a lunatic? No, no, no. Here's Claire.

You spit in my drink all you want. I don't care. I'll still drink it. Claire? The answer is, obviously, we don't have enough information, so you hire a private detective. We gotta add like nine steps to this shit Detective Jamba Juice It was a dark day For Detective Jamba Juice

Wasn't one of my usual detective stories I looked her up there down And slurped her to the back of my throat Like a juice Jesus Christ I gotta go She had legs as long as a straw Short, short legs

It's not film-nar, but an orange. Film-orange. Film-orange. Film-orange. The answer from Catherine Struck is, no, it is not your job to tell her husband. It may be your job to ask the wife, if you are friends, why she did that to her husband, Smoothie.

This may be a couple that you want to distance yourself from or only see them when you go out for supper away from their home. Their manners might improve. Good suggestion, Catherine. I would not inject myself into a squabble between this couple or any other couple, they need to work stuff out themselves. Okay, so you can go to supper with them

if it's out. Supper. If it's at Applebee's, you can have supper, but not dinner. Have you had the OM cheeseburger? Had my own cheeseburger? Have you had the OM cheeseburger? Oh, I see it advertised on Quora relentlessly,

but no, I have not. It's not worth it. We've talked about this. It's not worth it, Claire. It looks crazy. It's not good. We've talked about this on the bonus. There's a cheese layer at the bottom of the plate,

and the cheeseburger, as I understand, Liam, is it's put in the blade almost as a punishment. And looking at it, there's a visual illusion where it almost looks like a hot dog, but it's in fact a burger cut in half. That's correct.

It's not worth it? I don't like this. I don't like this. Claire, I know it's not worth the $12. $12? That's a bad cheeseburger. Yeah, that's... Honestly, no.

The cheeseburger's got to get smaller. Yeah, the burger had to be smaller. Burgers are too big these days. What? That's my controversial point. I can't back up that one. I like that there's just three dudes on a couch.

Our cheeseburger's overrated. I was thinking the same thing. We're discussing if Fortnite is overrated. Metal Bizarre. Here's another question. This one is on Dark Psychology. This is a really good one. This is the showcase of the eve.

My wife was talking to herself about me, saying I'm a nasty A-B. Nasty ass bitch. She didn't know I was listening. It hurt my soul, and inside I don't feel alive. Will it ever go away? Okay, so you don't know that in the Shakespearean reveal,

you see your wife alone calling you a nasty-ass bitch. Fellas? Will you ever stop feeling like you are not alive? You guys got to start ignoring like 90% to 95% of what your wife says to you. I say, like, when your wife is doing a soliloquy, just walk away. There I was behind the curtain. There I was for a loco in hand. To bitch or not to bitch.

You've met Corinne. My wife is lovely. Everyone listening has met Corinne. My wife is lovely, but she's very intimidating. Very scary. She's not nasty, but she's... What I know about your wife is that she loves the movie We're the Millers. That's true.

We all watched it together, and she knew all the reveals. that's the main thing i know about corinne is that she really likes the movie found a family jason sudeikis jennifer aniston you guys are all there yeah she loves that fucking movie and sometimes she'll put it on just like at random or like we don't have to do this to each other we can just watch like apocalypse now she's comforted by millers we could just chill out and watch apocalypse now we get it what do you call the assassin who kills the assassin where are the millers i have one question watching this film where are my damn millers she's about a cool guy who loves to surf i would like to hear what people

think about this nasty ass bitch question michaela rodriguez who is a nurse and mom and recovering addict says uh is she on drugs or under the influence of some other mind-altering substance if so then i think the pain will go away if you determine she wasn't in her right mind it didn't actually mean it on the flip side if she was of sound mind kind of hard to believe given she's talking to herself and speaking how she truly is feeling that won't ever go away even if she were to apologize profusely and you decide to forgive her the pain and resentment and wondering if she really felt that way or still feels that way those linger years later years like years close to two Decades later, they're still lingering.

So I guess this happened to Mikayla previously. Yeah, that's why she's addicted to drugs. Oh, so she might have imagined somebody calling her a nasty-ass bitch. She's a stay-at-home mom-slash-wife. Forced into recovery. Oh, no, Mikayla. Mikayla, I hope everything's going all right. I heard my husband calling me a nasty-ass bitch in the other room.

She knows about drug addiction, opioid addiction, opioids, methamphetamine, mental illness. Mikayla, you're oversharing on Quora. Guns and firearms. Shards of Fire is my favorite. Anxiety, psychology of everyday life, social anxiety. Oh, my God. Make it stop. Southern California.

That sounds about right. SoCal. It's psychosis. You want some of this? This is what they're up to over there. She's also posting about Irish slavery. Which is an Irish one of the first slaves. Well, before you agree with her, the meme says white Irish slaves were treated worse than any other race in the U.S.

It's a bold claim. If it wasn't for all this text, we wouldn't have a problem. When was the last time you heard an Irish man bitching about how the world owes them a living? You won't. It's like, you're doing it right now. Like two days ago, actually. You know, I've been around a lot of Irish people. They love bitching about how the world is not fair.

They do. They sure do. Yeah, I was about to say, grow up, be an adult, build a fertilizer bomb. Seamus. They're always doing an elaborate jig about how unfair the world was. This is an honored tradition among them. But that's, you know, Michaela's journey. and she's also don't listen to her she's on drugs um i would be able to figure out my wife

for calling me a nasty ass bitch i think it's funny when women call each other bitch i just think it's one of those funny things she does not like it when i call women bitches sure i don't do it but i think it's really funny i think i don't i don't use the word bitch i i feel really gross saying it and then my wife will be like that girl's a cunt and i'm like i don't know how to react to this what are you saying react no no my wife is just like that girl's a cunt and i'm like okay Like, sure, yeah, yeah, man. Maybe she's just culturally. Do you want me to make dinner, sweetie?

As I'm, like, dodging, like, plates. Wow. She's ruthless. That's the only bitch in the room. Uh-oh. See, it's funny. Claire said it, and I laughed. Because I'm punching laterally.

Right. At yourself. Self-punching. At myself. I have decided that I think bitch should only be used for, like, one person in the world. I feel like, not to be like Cheeto, but I feel like Donald Trump should be the only one who is bitch. I didn't say it! He is kind of bitchy.

I didn't say it! Please never talk during Don't Cry For Me, Argentino. Okay. He did say that, I remember. He's the biggest bitch. Don't Cry For Me, Argentino. That was a big thing, right? I've been drinking.

And no one else is a bitch. You guys aren't bitches. Women aren't bitches. He's the bitch. And I hate to sound so blue sky about it. I know. Claire, you're not wrong, though, is the thing. If we can raise each other up by only calling Donald a Trump.

I'm reminded of the Paul Verhoeven RoboCop special feature. Please. Okay, so he was on set. This is in the scene where it was like, okay, oh, God, I forget who the characters are. The guy comes in with the gun. He's like, bitches, leave, right, you know, before he kills the other guy.

right right and then uh when he was directing this apparently you know it was like he says okay uh he says bitches leave and then the bitches leave and then you know and then okay thank you bitches thank you that's a wrap for the bitches this is paul verhoeven take this what i guess from the commentary he may not have known that was a rude word that's a word for donald trump alone it's donald trump and irish people Only Donald Trump. Anyway, that's my impression of Paul Verhoeven. Thank you, everyone.

Nailed it. Nailed it. Okay. So you can forgive your wife. Yeah, don't call me a bitch. What was the question again? If you, in a Shakespearean twist, hear your wife call you a bitch. Will it ever go away?

Yeah, it'll go away. It'll never go away. Your wife says some shit, and you're just like, all right, man. Fucking take some Midol and leave me alone. You should probably be like, you're always talking shit. That's what I'd say, probably. I'd be like, don't call me. Can you back it up, and then you tickle her tummy and she gets mad at you.

I'm answering the question. I'm saying you should watch the movie We're the Millers. That will help it go away. You will also meet my wife and you'll be very confused and probably a little afraid. She's in the movie, by the way. That's why she likes it so much.

She's in there. She's pretty much Jennifer Aniston. Let's do another one. Is there a specific one we should do, Alex? Because there's a lot more, and we've been recording for about 20 hours. Just keep going. Okay, great. Keep going.

What is the word for when a wife talks to her husband's friends? There's no word for it. There's definitely like a big German compound word. That's kind of what I'm looking for. What does it mean, talks? Are we talking like, hey, sexting? Or are we talking like, hey, what's the weather like? No, she's talking, but it's outside of,

you don't let her talk to anyone. because you keep her in a small box. What's the sex weather like? Uh-oh. Oh, hey. Sex weather report outside. I'm just trying to get pictures of my wife's butthole is the thing. I'm trying to get people's underarms.

I got you. Uh-oh. Oh, my God. Dude, we're going to... Oh, it's so creepy. Again, on the YouTube, we are revealing underarms. Liam is handing the mic over to Ross. He's showing underarms.

He's showing his armpit to the camera. Through the top. Through the top we're seeing underarms I was worried he was going to take his shirt I gotta go to the bathroom for about 20 minutes You've seen me shirtless Yeah, but these people haven't You guys have to describe what you just saw

I can't see it Okay, Claire, what's happening is that Liam is taking his shirt off But he put it back on Okay This podcast is on YouTube So, again, anybody can check up On what's going on under his arm

If that's what you need to do skin tags under here. I feel gross. That's not anyone's fault. That was a beautiful armpit. Thanks, Alex. You are beautiful and you are loved. The answers here are conversation. Conversation. Communication. Equality.

Belladonna says, golly gee whiz, I tried and discarded so many words and find the only one I could find that fit the question was equality. And then we all clapped for her. Hillary Clinton was elected president. Oh.

I didn't say it. Donald Trump is a bitch. He's a bitch. He's the world's only bitch. That would be a good name for a memoir. Okay, here's a question. Go to QuoraMD. Never mind, it's QuoraMD.

All right, so these are some medical questions. We'll fit these in before the bell here. No, wait, that's Naruto. Come on. It's QuoraMD. don't you want to find out what's going on with wives why can't an 84 year old woman have a small glass of brandy before bed why can't an 84 year old woman have a small glass of brandy before bed

liam will know this one my my grandma died like 11 years ago oh shit i can take this out man i no no no no she was an irish slave she well no let's okay she had some opinions don't worry about that don't worry about that don't insult the dead all right so my grandmother god bless her soul wherever she is uh was would drink like my mother always oh she only like drank like red wine i was like yeah but like did you see how much wine and or brandy she would pour herself yeah my mom was like oh what like my mom my mom doesn't drink okay my mom hasn't drank since like the 80s so She has no idea how, like, alcohol sizing works. My grandmother, Grandma Nina, would drink, like, six ounces of brandy before bed.

But it was just like, you're 92 years old. Who gives a shit? You're 84. You've made it. It's over. It doesn't matter anymore. My grandma's 90. Her brain is going.

Let her have some brandy. My friend Megan, her grandma, every time she drinks, she drinks Bacardi Limon and gets blackout drunk so that the home nurse aides won't come to her house anymore because every time she tries to fight them. Oh, yeah. She's trying to fight them. She's showing them YouTube. She's just like, yeah, have you heard this podcast? Well, there's your problem. Like, vomiting into her head.

Promoting her grandson's podcast. My best more is... That's too, bud. No, she's older than that, I think. Is she? Is she 96 now? She's something like that, yeah. Are we in a competition?

Yeah, exactly. No, we love Bessemore. We love Bessemore. Don't insult Bessemore. I'll fuck you up in this house. I don't know what Bessemore is. It means beloved. It's beloved grandmother in Norwegian.

Bessemore. Bessemore. it's a valiant for beloved grandmother she still drinks and she's sharp as a tack she still walks around and all that

you know you can just do it you can just drink at 84 I have said this at 80 you get to drink whatever you want

at 90 you get to do crime at 100 they should give you a pension congressional medal of honor yeah you made it to 100 dude you should be able

to do whatever the fuck you want you should be able to rob kids on the subway it sounds like we are in a quorum on this

The comments agree with us. Elisa Green in Finland says, only if she doesn't want one, otherwise drink away. They put up with humanity for 84 years. They deserve to drink whatever the hell they want. That's kind of what we've all been saying is binge drinking is for the elderly, and it helps you sleep and just keep the demons down. How old is that bitch, Donald Trump?

He's like 81, right? He's 80, 81. Yeah, he was born in 46, so he's going to be 80 this year. Why am I talking intimately like this? That bitch doesn't even drink alcohol. You're kind of doing it like a power violence. That is kind of a bitchy thing. He should drink some alcohol.

He thinks he's better than me? Yes. That's the one thing that humanizes him. He's just like, oh, I watched my brother drink himself to death. And you're like, so why didn't you learn any fucking thing from that? Learned how to live forever. Yeah, unfortunately. I didn't mean to wind up Claire by bringing up Donald Trump again.

He is a bitch. It's just organic that comes up sometimes. He's the converse of the supersize me guy. That's so true. He only eats McDonald's, but he is not an alcoholic. The super-sized guy who self-canceled before anyone could cancel this. What? He got in front of it.

He didn't do that. No, what? He died? He did die. He died, but what do you mean he self-canceled? Did you see how much McDonald's he had? Morgan Spurlock is dead? Yes, Jeremy.

Jeremy, you definitely knew this. I feel like I was with you when you saw the fact that this happened. We've talked about this. Hi, Claire. Oh, my God. 2024. Jeremy is getting the news in 2024 that Morgan Spurlock is dead. A cat has entered the room, and we're all talking to it.

It's just off camera. He's so handsome. Go to the next question. Milo, how did you get that handsome? Milo, please answer the question. He has a dog. He's scared. Okay, here's another question.

We will be rounding out soon before we do a listener question here. Is there any method I can use for my wife to conceive and give birth to a male child without going to the hospital? no fuck off you'd have to have a male at home think is there any method i could sorry i missed the whole question is there any method i can he's jeremy's still thinking about morgan spurlock imagining a world where morgan spurlock is gone like the sun will never rise again for some reason i thought that he directed that new lauren michaels movie but i guess it was someone no that's morgan neville you're right it is morgan so i guess all morgans are the same to you huh If they make documentaries, yeah.

What do you think about Irish slaves? I think they've had it harder than anyone else. Okay, that's what I was going to say. Yeah, so I guess you could just kind of do it straight up natty and then hope for the best. But it's kind of the same male or female there. I don't know why people would think a male is going to get stuck penis first on something. This seems like a trial and error situation.

Yeah, just go for it. Fuck it in the hospital, baby. I feel like the penis does add a little air of danger because it's like, yeah, it could get stuck on something or you could accidentally like pull it off. You can rip it off. You could think it's the umbilical cord. Oh, and that's your belly button. They're trying to eat through the penis.

This question was written by KH5. Your cat could eat it. I don't want that. Oh, Milo. Milo looks so afraid. I love him. He's got asthma. He's kind of doing his thing over there.

I did like whoever's inhaler is in the basket. That's his. That's Milo the cat's inhaler. I don't know. My wife is very asthmatic, so I'm very sympathetic. We have to buy his inhaler from Canada because it's cheaper. Cat health care is out of control. It'd be so gorgeous.

So I guess Elizabeth says that without going to the hospital for conception for birth, your sperm chooses the sex of the child and your wife doesn't control that. That's not true. You understand that's not true, right, Alex? You spin a wheel, dude. You do get a wheel, but I think the sperm goes on the wheel.

Is that understood? Am I not supposed to be coming on the wheel? No, you should come on the wheel and it helps choose the sex. God damn, I was so afraid. Pin the cum on the wheel. Did you have a choice, Alex? Did you want a boy or a girl?

Do you remember? Hey, I'm just happy to be involved. A preference, rather. I was just thrilled the whole thing was happening. Yeah, that's how I feel about IVF and parenthood. I'm just like, I'm just happy I'm here, man. Just give me one. I guess, you know, I understand people who have, like,

specific preferences for their child or whatever, but it does seem like, yeah, if you, like, have a vision of a child who doesn't exist yet and then they come out, like, unless you are in a kingdom where you need to, like, pass along land, then I think you're probably just trying to recreate yourself. Right. As a...

It's kind of funny to swap, too. Gender swap yourself. Yeah, I'd like to gender swap myself and then become volleyball champion. That seems like a lot of things. I'm 6'2". I'm J.D. Vance's height. Yeah, okay. Was that on the show or did I just dream that?

I want a boy so I can raise him to be the world's biggest bitch. Uh-oh, number two. Claire! If you select your child's gender, you are inevitably going to go insane about trans people.

Oh, right, that's true. No, I, I, so when my wife becomes pregnant, because again, IVF, uh, I, I, my wife, Borat voice, my wife, my wife, Borat voice, my wife. It took us a long time to get to that. I'm proud of us. We did a really good job. Yeah. I, I, I, I like, I think I'll be better suited as a, what gender is your child? Oh, I have a girl. I'm a girl. Dad. Hashtag girl. Dad. I'm going to, I think I'm going to be a hashtag girl. Dad. It's a thrill. Yeah. I I'm, I'm excited. I I think that as a boy dad, I'd be fine, but as a girl dad, I'd really succeed

because I'm a giant crying baby pussy. Yeah, I understand. And then you're afraid that your son will then beat you up and take your wife. Yeah, that's how it works, right? You end up as rats? That's probably my biggest fear. Yeah, you'll end up in some sort of Oedipal situation.

But when you have girl, then you get a kind of a pass to say some shit that you couldn't say before that. Because now you can talk about girl stuff. Alex, what the fuck are you talking about? Okay. When you have a girl, you can be like, well, I know about girl stuff because I have a girl. I know about periods because my wife's just out here like, I'm bleeding everywhere.

Come fix the goop. Yeah, but you'll know even more if you have girl, I'm saying. Good luck with that. I've fixed the goop. I don't care. I've seen blood. I've played football. Yeah, you've never been on the receiving end of a child girl's fury?

I have. Are you talking about peeing or are you talking about just yelling at? I'm talking being cunt. Yeah, so here's the thing, right? If I have a sister-in-law... Little girl cunt, but you're like, oh, I love you so much, nothing, why don't you love me?

And she goes, you're fucking... Fuck you. You're a chump. Yeah, that's how I feel about my sister-in-law. Yeah, that's pretty much accurate, actually. You're a choogie. Although she's 26, which makes me feel worse, I guess. Oh, it's an MGMT again.

No. We don't have to do this. With your small clothes. Why don't you go electric feel, you piece of shit? This is what girls sound like to me. It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt is what I'm saying. Will it ever stop?

That's for real. Okay, that's enough questions. Let me look at if anyone has answered our question about Roz getting married. Looks like no. No, in the 50 minutes since we've posted it, no one has taken it. Just take a little check-in on that one. Totally undateable, unfortunately. You're very dateable.

You're very handsome. Any girl will be lucky to have you, and if they don't take you, I'll kill them. Roz, do you feel like from doing this podcast, have you learned anything about dating? I think I've learned a lot about being married. That's a serious catastrophe. Claire's dog has shown up. Claire's got a dog, too, so it's not just about the cat all the time. I think from this episode, I've learned that a lot of the reason Roz doesn't have someone at home

is that Liam is protecting him, maybe holding him too close. He's got a shotgun outside of the house. You ever hurt my Roz? it's too scary for women can you do outro music to cleaning this gun that's a song I like yeah sure we'll get some we'll get some gun music

sit on down and let me tell you about and tell me about yourself it's a great song it's called cleaning this gun it's a great song listen to it I hope YouTube doesn't flag us for that let's get a listener question we're gonna do one listener question I'm gonna kill myself

We have a recurring segment where you come in and ask your Quora questions. Please send them to Quorators at gmail.com. This is our segment Is That Okay? Is that okay? Play it! There's a question from

underscore underscore Hey Quorators, this is Maxine from Nebraska again I just have a quick question And I have started taking Wellbutrin for ADHD, and I've never felt more normal. I've never been more productive. And I'm just wondering, are there going to be any negative long-term effects for that? This is just like a medical question.

This is how you use Quora is to find out if you can take Wellbutrin. Again, perfect question. Thank you for sending this in. It's just a normal medical question. My response on the Quora here would be like, I don't know, never tried it. And then I would hit reply and then other people would read it. Has anybody had Wellbutrin here?

Liam is raising his hand. Again, it's a podcast. Liam's been on every... Shut the fuck up. Liam's been on every antidepressant they've ever made, ever. What do you think? What's the review? Wellbutrin's nice. I like Wellbutrin.

I was on it for about four years and I didn't have any negative long-term symptoms. I gained a little bit of weight. With this body, you can't really tell because I'm a fat boy. Because you're daddy. Thank you. You're welcome. I thought you were going to feel like, yeah, you are fat. I was like, okay,

we're going to brawl here, Alex. You're ready to fight somebody at a moment's notice. Over Philadelphia. It's really shining right now. I've been all, well, do you want to fight about it? Take the Wellbutrin. Take the meds. They make you feel great.

Take the meds. I will say if you like smoking cigarettes, it's going to make you not want to smoke cigarettes. Oh, no, you want to vomit. I was, yeah, that's right, because I was smoking when I was on the beach, and every time I had a cigarette, I was like, I'm going to throw up. So it could be dangerous that you might stop smoking cigarettes. And I had been smoking for a while at that point,

or I was dipping at that point, and I was just like, every time I packed a little, I was like, I'm going to throw up in my mouth. It makes you get drunk faster, though, right? I think so. It makes you less cool, it makes you get drunk faster, and it's an antidepressant where you can still jizz. You can still cum, yeah. It's an SMRI?

Could you pound it? Thanks. Me and Jeremy pounded it. I don't pronounce you Chuck and Larry. All right. So, yeah, take it. And please keep busting out there. Let us know how your cum is.

Let us know how your cum is. Thank you so much for writing that. Is that okay? Let us know how your cum is. Come on the wheel. Is that okay? Come on the wheel. We're closing out here.

Liam and Roz, thank you so much for coming on. Claire is dabbing for you out of approval. But where can our listeners find you at home and abroad? Oh, you can find us at Well, There's Your Problem on YouTube. You can find us on Blue Sky and Twitter at WTYPPod.com because I have the domain name. Somebody will know it. Somebody knows.

No, I just noticed something on your Gmail, which is that I forgot you could label things. Oh, yeah, we've labeled. You've seen the labels on our Gmail account. It's still like Anne-Marie talking about stuff. Yeah, it's all one label. I was like, I could have labeled this. You got to let Jeremy have your email

because he's going to use all the features. Jeremy, how would you like to be the podcast assistant? I'm trying to do more emails. Maybe you won't ghost us and then send us a two-page text about why we're such bastards. Oh, no.

Does someone do that to you? That's too long of a text. Don't send people that long of a text. That's my plug for today. Make labels. Keep them short. Send emojis. My other plug is for our Patreon, which we have every Thursday.

It's another episode that comes out where we go on other websites, all kinds of good stuff back there. We read some Dragon Ball Z fan fiction porn last time, which was not what we intended to do, but it is what ended up happening. And that's on patreon.com slash Quarators. Go ahead and five bucks a month. Vegeta said some crazy stuff on that one. Vegeta is on a polo team.

It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense at all. But that's four episodes of $4 or $5 a month. Sounds pretty good. and that's all I have to say today does anyone else have any other announcements yes Donald Trump a bitch

we all have to admire Milo who's sleeping the wrong way bye Milo is that Donald Trump voice you're a bitch this is over bye bye

bye Claire