Radio Rental - Episode 34

Episode Date: April 28, 2023

On today's tape... >> Haunted Living

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Listener discretion is advised. Oh, hello, dear customer, dear patron of Radio Rental. I, uh, well, I have a surprise in store for you today. As you may remember, I used to be a prolific AM nighttime radio host for my hit show Dark Air with Terry Carnation. I was, and well, still am, a pretty big deal. Well, as one of my 2023 resolutions, I decided I want to bring that energy back into my life. I do so dearly miss the art of radio hosting. So today, I'd like to present my own mini call-in radio show where I, Terry Carnation, will answer questions from my adoring fans right here at the Video Rental Store, Radio Rental. I call it Terry Talk. No, no, actually I call it The Terry Carnation Experience.

Or, no, no, this is good. LMAO with Terry Carnation. That stands for Laugh My Ass Off. And I hope you will. I hope we all... You know, I'll figure out the title later on. Anyway, let me just get myself ready here.

We'll go testing. Okay. Here we go. Time to dust off the old headphones. As we in the biz call them, cans. It'd be so great if they made these things without wires. Somebody should do that. That's actually a really good idea.

I bet you could market that. Make a bundle. Better than the 14 an hour I'm making here. Anyway, I'm making here. Anyway, um, I'm so excited! Oh, whoa, it seems the void is excited too. Either that or it hates talk radio. I guess we'll find out in about T minus ten seconds. And we're live, hit it. Nice.

Jaunty. Welcome, friends. It's me, it's Terry. And today I would like to share with you myself. That's right. In a time that can feel so incredibly selfish, I'm here to give you the gift of me. You can have me, all of me. Any questions you have about me, Terry Carnation, ask away. I am an open book, no holds barred. Oh, okay, look, we already have our first caller. Patch him on through. Here we go. sent me an email saying, hey, I had a dream you were in danger. I'm like, whoa, that's crazy. I'm like, well, what happened? He's like, I had a dream that we were all eating you,

and you were cooking on the table. And I'm like, well, that's weird. So as I was wondering, Terry, do you have any advice on how I can make sure I taste good when they eat me? Thanks. Have a good day. Bye. Jake, thank you so much for your question. Really, really, really good stuff. Bagel bites.

Little mini bagel pizzas. Toaster oven or microwave? I prefer the toaster oven. I call me old-fashioned. To me, that kind of elicits the deepest pizza bagel bites flavor. I'm, forgive me, you asked your question. I happen to be a little hungry right now, a little peckish. Of course, I am always a little peckish. But I am a huge fan of bagel bites. Huge, huge fan. I'm wondering, did you get the 18-pack from Costco? Pepperoni is my favorite flavor. Sometimes

what I'll do is add, well, pretty much whatever I have in the fridge makes a bagel bite even more delicious. Tuna niblets, shredded carrots, those little corns, cornichons. I love them. They're not just for salad bars. Can I just say cornichons are not just for salad bars. They're delightful. If you like corn and you like small things, you'll love cornichons. I feel like whoever is doing the marketing for them is doing a piss-poor job.

But they add a great deal to any bagel bites. And I love them. Well, I so prefer them to Hot Pocket And thank God Jim Gaffigan And his damn Hot Pocket Obsession is gone To the early aughts I haven't heard anyone talking about Hot Pocket Since 2011

You know, but a nice flavored bagel bite Um I think, you know, people think they are for kids But they are not They're very, very sophisticated. And if you want to make your bagel bite even more sophisticated, simply put a classy food on top, like mayonnaise. So thank you so much.

Absolutely bagel bites. I'm pro bagel bites. I'm all for the bagel bites. Thank you for calling in and enjoy. Hashtagel Bites. I'm all for the Bagel Bites. Thank you for calling in, and enjoy. Hashtag Bagel Bites. I'm going to need to take a little break and have a little snack right now, and I am not here to deprive you of your tapes. Let's take a little break for a scary story, shall we?

Pop the tape in. I don't know who I'm saying that to, because I'm the one who actually we? Pop the tape in. I don't know why I'm saying that too, because I'm the one who actually has to pop the tape in. So had just purchased this house and moved in. We said it was our dream house. It's everything that we both had ever wanted. About two weeks after we moved in, we had an explosion on the side of our house. The air conditioning unit started a fire in between the wall of our two kids' bedrooms. We had the fire department out.

We had a bunch of electricians out. And nobody could really tell us exactly what had happened. They just knew that a fire had started from a big surge of electricity that was inside the house. We were just told that we were lucky that it stopped. We figured it was just a fluke and we could start living normally again after that now that everything had been replaced and fixed. After that everything strange started happening. Lights flickering throughout

the house. It wasn't normal flickering like a light bulb has gone out. We'd be eating dinner and notice that the lights were flickering. We'd be up in our bedroom, the lights would flicker. We would look up when they would start flickering and the chandeliers would be swinging back and forth on their chains. We called electricians out to try and fix the problem and they replaced everything that we could think of replacing and nothing was fixing the problem.

Our smoke alarms started to have a mind of their own. It wasn't just chirping like smoke alarms go off when they're losing their batteries. The smoke alarms would go off just long enough to make us think there was an actual fire. Start moving out of the room, start gathering the kids and then the smoke alarms would just turn themselves off. I would be walking on the treadmill and I'd be going at like a three-point speed and all of a sudden it would start increasing faster and faster until I was yanking the emergency chain. We would be in other rooms when our TVs would turn on or off.

Everything that was happening was just unexplainable. We were trying pretty much everything we could think of to solve these issues. We spent so much money on electricians trying to get answers. We had the fire department out here inspecting everything. Experts going through the house trying to figure out why our house was having the issues that it was having and the only explanation that we were getting was that

our house has electric surges from within it. Nobody can explain why. At this point, it's definitely intruded our thoughts on a daily basis, especially when noises started happening in the house as well. Footsteps that we would hear upstairs, those are hard to ignore.

I'd be in the kitchen, and I'd hear a big bang on the other side of the wall. It would be as loud as a chair falling over. And I'd come in here thinking I'd see a chair had fallen over and there was nothing out of place. Just hanging out in the family room with the kids, and we'd hear a bunch of stomping upstairs, and us trying to explain away to the kids

that it's probably just the pipes upstairs. But it's a pretty new house. It's only about 20 years old. It was starting to feel like the house was alive. Kind of had a mind of its own. We started talking about moving pretty early on. But we felt crazy. Are we really going to make this massive financial decision But we felt crazy. Are we really going to make this massive financial decision off of a few thumps and a little

weird electricity? I worked from home at the time by myself while the kids were in school. I started hearing noises where I thought somebody was breaking into the house every day. I would hear a huge crash against the back window every morning at about 10 a.m. And I would come running out of the office thinking that somebody had tried to break into the back door. So I started telling my husband that I was experiencing these noises while he was at work.

All the walls had either banging or sounded like something was running its hands down the wall. There were so many noises happening on three out of the four walls in the home office. I kept running out thinking that I was gonna find somebody in my house. The noises just kept amplifying and getting worse and more frequent. Felt like I had to get out of the house. I grabbed my laptop and my phone and my keys and I ran out to the garage and got in the car and drove away from my house to a different part of the neighborhood and just started crying and telling my husband, I can't live here anymore. I don't wanna do this.

I'm sick to death of this. I can't focus. It's making me feel crazy. Everything crossed my mind from maybe the former owner still had a key they were trying to get in. I couldn't figure out what was happening. Shortly after that my husband also started working from home. He started thinking that someone was breaking in to the point where he started taking a knife in the morning before he would go downstairs to work.

There were so many times he came running upstairs thinking that somebody was here. Nobody ever was. It was just his turn, I guess, to start hearing all of the same things that I was hearing. If my husband and my kids weren't hearing what I was hearing, I would be seriously questioning my sanity. They did hear a lot of stuff. We explained a lot of things away to our kids. Up until this point my husband and I had been really careful, we still are to this day. We have an

explanation for everything so that they don't grow up thinking that they live in a haunted house. They had never heard us talk about any of this stuff. We always did it when they were not home or asleep. The kids were in the basement. At this time they were about five and six years old. They had come running upstairs. Mom, mom, we saw something in the basement. My heart drops. I said, what did you see in the basement? And they said, we saw a shadow figure. My blood goes cold. What did it look like? The older one kind of motions with his hands. It was like a shadow, but I couldn't

really see through it. I said, what did it do? He said, it just kind of glided across the room and he showed me with his feet. And then it went through me and then it went into the wall with an outlet. You didn't see a shadow person that was just your shadow in the basement. They were adamant that they saw it so I took the older one downstairs first. I left the little one upstairs and said, show me where you saw it. And he retraced the path of this shadow person in the basement. And I said, interesting.

You know, trying to keep it pretty calm, neutral. I took him back upstairs and then I took the younger one downstairs and said, show me where you saw this thing. And so the little one shows me the exact same path and the exact same wall and I just take him back upstairs and said, well if you ever see it again let me know but I just think you saw your shadow. They didn't talk about it again until within the last three months. He said that he saw a shadow figure again, only this time he said he opened the basement door

and it was standing at the bottom of the basement stairs. He opened the door and saw it, slammed the door again. The older one told me what happened, and I said, you haven't seen anything like that in years. And he said, this time it was different. And I said, how is it different? This time it had legs. What do we do with that? I told my husband if it keeps happening, we got to go.

I'm not going to have our kids grow up in something like this. Don't worry. There's more to this story. Let's take a quick break. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that.

How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Uh, nope. You're on your own there.

Could've skipped it. Shoulda skipped it. Skip to the good part and getaccarat, and Roulette. Download the BetMGM Casino app today. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. BetMGM.com for T's and C's, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.

Thank you to our generous sponsors. Please support them and all of their sponsorship, as we would not have a show without their sponsorship. Thank you, sponsors. Now, speaking of generosity, how about I open it up to another one of my loyal fans? Okay, you're on the air, the darkish air with Terry Carnation, TC here. Go. Hey, Terry, I was just wondering,

if you could pick between being Bigfoot or Loch Ness Monster, what would you choose and why? Thanks, bro. Thank you so much for your question. Interesting conundrum. I've never been posed a question like this before. Would I rather be

Loch Ness Monster, a.k.a. Nessie, or would I rather be Bigfoot, a.k.a. Sasquatch? Um, I mean, why not add to that list? Would I rather be the Chupacabra, or an alien, or a yeti, or, you know, a horse? I don't know. It's all hypothetical. Okay, let me put myself into the mindset of Loch Ness Monster. It's cold, it's deep, it's dark.

I need to stay far below the surface for fear of motorboats. And I've been down there for potentially tens of thousands of years, and I, um, no, that sucks, because here's the deal. Here's the deal. Unnamed friend, I would much prefer to be a Bigfoot, because, first of all, I'm not a big fan of the Scottish. I can't understand what they're saying. I don't think it's cute. And I didn't like Shrek. There, I said it. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand the idea of a talking donkey. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

But Bigfoot, now, here's the deal. Picture me as Bigfoot living in the woods. Bigfoot have never really truly been sighted. We've got some grainy photographs and that's a pruder film. But no one has actually seen a Bigfoot. So what I would do if I were Bigfoot is I would cash in. I would come out of the woods and be like, and people would take me in lovingly.

I don't think anyone would be scared of me. They would feed me bagel bites and anything I wanted to eat, and I could set up some kind of incredibly serious cash stream, pet the Bigfoot, visit with the Bigfoot, wrestle with the Bigfoot, you name it. This would be probably in Eureka, California, or Grants Pass, Oregon. I'm not exactly sure where. Some northwest city. And I would be raking it in.

So, you know, would I rather swim around in a deep lake with Scottish people? I could even be a movie star. I could be in a new Guillermo del Toro film, a sequel to that one with the guy who swam around all the time. But, you know, I could be a poster child for people who are hirsute, overly hirsute. Nair, just for men. I could do commercial campaigns. Obviously, I'd need to teach myself English. I could do commercial campaigns. Obviously, I'd need to teach myself English. I would make a killing at feet pics.

Some people love hairy feet. Look it up. Manscape. I don't know if they sponsor this show, but so many different ways that I could cash in. So, Bigfoot it is for me. Thanks for calling. Well I think my answers have been really pretty good. I guess I I've still got it. I've got that special something that mojo you

need for radio. Anyway we're back to the tape. Ooh let's see what happens next. There was one night I came home pretty late My kids were already upstairs asleep My husband was sitting on the couch I came in, start asking him how the night was Telling him about my night, and I hear a kid's voice singing. It's late. Why are the kids awake?

I thought they'd be asleep by now. In total seriousness, my husband looks over at me and says, that's not the kids. Yes it is, of course that's the kids. He's like, it's not the kids. I've checked on them multiple times. This thing starts stopping and starting, and I don't know how to explain it. There's no speakers on. It's not really a song. It's more just like a lazy melody, like if a little kid was kind of just humming to themselves. It wasn't anything that would have been recorded on the radio. It just was this meandering tune in this child's voice.

And I kept arguing with my husband, like, stop, of course that's the kids. I'm telling you, it's not the kids. So I raised up the stairs. I opened my son's door first. I looked at him and he was asleep in his bed. A foot away is my daughter's door. So I opened her door and she's asleep in bed. And I'm just standing there in the hallway,

looking in their two doors, seeing that they're both asleep and still hearing this music. Since I was letting light into my daughter's room, she pops her head up, and I'm looking at my daughter, and she's looking at me. She sleepily looks at me and says, what is that? And I said, what is what? And she said, what is that singing?

I don't know, honey. You might just be dreaming. Just go back to sleep. And I said, what is what? And she said, what is that singing? I don't know, honey. You might just be dreaming. Just go back to sleep. She looks at me and says, I think that's just my brother trying to scare me. And then she lays back down and goes to sleep again. It eventually stopped, but I still can't explain it.

We were out of ideas at this point. We had done saging. We had called more electricians than I can count. We had spent thousands of dollars replacing wiring, lighting, TVs. We had already done everything that we could think of. We had a priest out to the house. He came over in full priestly attire and brought his holy water with him. He just wanted to do a little blessing on the front door. priestly attire and brought his holy water with him.

He just wanted to do a little blessing on the front door. No, you're gonna go to every room in the house. So I walked around with him to every room, every corner of the house. He sprinkled holy water everywhere and did lots of blessings. He asked for more details. We explained what was happening in the house. He said sometimes when people are having something like this happen, whatever the entity is that is in your house acts playful, tries to get you to trust it, definitely wants you to notice it, but doesn't do anything to make you feel scared or do anything that's enough

to get you to leave. Then it starts to show its true colors after you start to trust it. The night of Halloween, actually, my husband and I were woken up at about three o'clock in the morning to the smoke alarm going off in our bedroom. My husband and I were woken up at about 3 o'clock in the morning to the smoke alarm going off in our bedroom. Long enough to get our attention.

Always gave smoke alarms 10 seconds or so to stop because they were happening so frequently. This one went off longer to the point where I thought there was an actual fire in the house. So my husband and I jump out of bed. We open the door to our bedroom. Let's go get the kids. We need to get out. Ran out onto the landing outside of our bedroom. At that point, the smoke alarm just stopped.

My husband and I were just standing out on the landing, in the dark, in total silence. It wants us out here. It wants us to know it didn't work. How do you just go back to sleep? It truly just becomes part of your life. If something like this has never happened to you, you have all these things that you would do and all these ways that you would handle it. Really the only thing that you can do is just go back to sleep. You just have to go back

to your everyday life. Shortly after that, there was a night that my husband and I were sleeping. All of a sudden, what sounded like an old-fashioned music box clanking away at an old-fashioned song started blasting in our bedroom. Full blast.

I shot up in my bed, my husband shot up, jumped out of bed and started racing around the room trying to figure out where it was. He was racing around to his phone. It wasn't his phone. My phone wasn't my phone. There was a TV in our room and he turned the power button on. It wasn't the TV. He turned the TV back off. There's nothing else in our room that it could have been. I sat in bed with the covers pulled up yelling, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. All of a sudden, it just stopped. There's no reasonable explanation as to what it could have been. I can handle noises.

I can handle electric issues. But if anything starts making me question our safety or if I start seeing anything, that's my line in the sand. My husband was sick and when he gets sick with a cough in particular, he will sleep downstairs on a couch so he can cough freely and not wake me up all night. I was sleeping in our room. Almost every night, I wake up at about 3 o'clock in the morning or so and fall back asleep pretty soon. Out of nowhere, I feel the comforter behind me inflate.

It's here. As soon as I thought that, something yanks back my hair. I was trying to reach my phone, but I couldn't. The comforter flies over my face. I was trying to scream as loud as I could, but nothing was coming out. It probably lasted maybe five to ten seconds. As quickly as it started, it stopped. I have thought about it every day since it happened.

Maybe I was just asleep, maybe I was dreaming, but I don't think I was asleep and I don't think I was dreaming and I've never had a dream like that. I don't get night terrors i don't get sleep paralysis i don't get anything like that my husband had to leave to go to a conference for four days and i remember telling him how crazy it is that i'm more afraid of what's inside our house than what's outside of our house when he's gone how can you live in a house like that you can't as soon as the holidays are over we gotta go You can't. As soon as the holidays are over, we gotta go. It seems to be very much attached to the house and in the bones of the house. I have to believe it's just attached to this house and hopefully when we leave it's gonna stay put.

I'm looking forward to that. Nothing says real life stories of the macabre like ads. Crime Writers On is the podcast where authors and journalists talk about the latest true crime series, documentaries, and podcasts. We talk about what's on the charts and find those up-and-coming podcasts that you'll be talking about. It's like a fun and smart book club discussing what makes good storytelling and teaching how to become a critical listener. Or not. And stick around for the Crime Writers Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down Reviews. It's the original true crime review podcast. Crime Writers On, wherever you get your podcasts.

Like probably right here. And we're back. You're on the air with Terry Carnation. Speak to me, baby. Hey, Terry. It to me, baby. Hey, Terry. It's me, Hannah. I wanted to know if you wanted to go to Aziz's, the classy dining restaurant. So, just let me know. Talk to you later.

Bye. Hannah, thank you so much for your question. Let me say, I'm a little bit tempted. Your invitation sounds inviting. However, here's the problem. I've not heard of this restaurant of which you speak. I'm not the biggest fan of apples. In fact, I might be allergic.

So that is a hard pass. I'm also allergic to bees, so put it all together, and this is not an invitation I'm going to take you up on. But thank you for your call. You seem very nice. And sounds like it could be fun. Sounds like it could be an incredible, sensual adventure. But it's just not worth the hives.

Thank you for calling. Well, that was lovely. Lovely. I feel rejuvenated. Such thought-provoking questions. You know, maybe I'll do more of this in the future. I just love interacting with the beautiful community we've built here. And on that note, thank you so much for coming back to Radio Rental.

We'll see you next time. Quiet, Void. Bit presumptuous. Okay, okay. Void is kind of freaking me out. Radio Rental is created by Payne Lindsay and brought to you by Tenderfoot TV. Lead producer is Eric Quintana.

Executive producers are Payne Lindsey and Donald Albright. Hosted by Rainn Wilson as his character, Terry Carnation. Written and produced by Meredith Stedman. Supervising producer is Tracy Kaplan. Associate producer is Jaja Muhammad. Editing by Eric Quintana, Mike Rooney, Sean Nerney, and Sidney Evans. Additional writing by Mark Laughlin. Sound design, mix, and master by Cooper Skinner.

Additional sound design and mixing by Devin Johnson. Original score by Makeup and Vanity Set. Video editing by Dylan Harrington. Cover artwork by Trevor Eiler and Rob Sheridan. Special thanks to Oren Rosenbaum and the team at UTA. The Nord Group, Station 16, Beck Media and Marketing, and the team at Cadence 13. If you have a Radio Rental story that you'd like to share, please email us at yourscarystory at gmail.com or contact us via the form on our website, radiorentalusa.com. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at Radio Rental. You can also follow the illustrious Terry Carnation on social media.

Just search at Terry Carnation. On behalf of the Radio Rental store, we'd love it if you'd subscribe, rate, and review. Thanks for listening. I'm Nadine Bailey. I've been a ghost tour guide for 20 years and have taken people into haunted places to uncover macabre tales and dark secrets. On my podcast, Haunted Canada, I share bone-chilling stories of the unexplained. Search for Haunted Canada on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music,

or wherever you're listening right now. Then join me if you dare.