Radiolab - Chris And Lisa

Episode Date: October 21, 2008

Chris had a crush on Lisa. But how to woo her?

I should quite You're listening to Radio Lab. The podcast. From New York Public Radio. Public Radio. W. N.Y.C. And NPR. Hello, I'm Chad Abumrod.

I'm Robert Krollwich. This is Radio Lab, the podcast. Not the regular broadcast. We say that all the time, you know, because we want to do the regular broadcast, and we will, coming up in a few weeks now. And we want to do more podcasts. We would love to do about seven times more podcasts in 12.

times more radio shows, but we have a really tiny staff. Really tiny. Really tiny. Shoestring operation. And the way we actually got a chance to do this at all is because the public radio station in New York City, W.N.C. allowed us to come in early in the morning for the first couple, first year or so, and then really late at night.

And we were just given play time just to come up with this concept. And it is unusual for a public radio station to just say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just don't bother us. So we didn't bother them. And then we came and said, here, can we bother you with this? And they put us on the air and they've given us this place. And here we are. Here we are.

This is our way of asking you to support the station that supports us. Even if you're in Lorraine, Ohio, even if you're in Albuquerque, you know, you can go to radio lab.org and click support. It would mean a lot to us. Just a little button on our site that says support. So, Robert, here we are. You know, we're trying to raise funds here. And we pulled a few emails from our inbox, people who have.

a relationship with the show. This is kind of an interesting one. Can I read it to you? Yeah, sure. Dear Radio Lab, there's a girl here in Chicago that I really like. Her name is Lisa. She's lovely. I think she likes me too. We started out as friends working in an improv show together, and through the rehearsal process, we grew very close to one another. Late night phone calls, silly text messages, the whole shabang. A new romance blossoming. You with me? Yeah. A few weeks ago, she had a little bit of you.

asked me to burn her a disc of, in quotes, something good. And I instantly knew what I wanted to burn for her. I made individual discs of three radio lab shows for her. Who am I, sleep, and memory and forgetting. Each disc had one show on them. I picked those three because they touched on something particularly lovely in their subject matters. Ooh, it gets better. We met in a park right by my house on a sunny Saturday morning and I handed her the discs. These were instructions to her and the following is in italics when you get home turn off your cell phone put a note up telling your roommates not to disturb you turn off all the lights curl up somewhere comfortable put on your headphones put on one of these discs in any one of them and give

yourself over to them it will be the smartest most interesting soul expanding hours of your life i'm i'm totally in love with this guy that even if i didn't even know what radio lab was i'd be like You're the man. I never thought we'd be like a line to get a girl in a bar. I know. I'm going to read some more from this letter. Sorry that took so long to share, but I just thought you might like to hear about how your show is bringing people together in a very real way. In your offices and out in the field, recording the show, you might not have contact with the listeners and how you do subtly influence their world.

Lisa and I probably would be getting together on our own without Radio Lab, but the show is definitely a part of our relationship now. It's brought us closer. I thought you would like to know. All my best to you and Robert and the rest of the radio lab crew. Sincerely Chris O. Biddle, Chicago, Illinois. Chris O. Biddle. Wow. So did this really work?

I mean, did he score? Well, we have his number right here. As a matter of fact, shall we call him? Yes. Hello. Hello. Hey. Hi, is this Chris?

This is Chad. Yes. Hi, Chris. Jad. This is Robert over here. Oh, hi, Robert. Hey. And where are we reaching you?

Yeah. Well, I'm backstage at one of our theaters here in Chicago, Illinois. Oh, get out. Did we just pull you offstage from rehearsal or something? No, I'm an executive assistant, so I'm not actually in a show right now. Okay, but you keep the shows going, though. Yeah, that's the way I look at it. All the admin stuff that I do helps the shows happen.

So, hey, Chris, can you tell us the story that you emailed to us, the story about Lisa and Radio Lab and how that all came about? I guess it starts with us meeting Lisa and I. We met at an audition for an improv comedy show that we were performing here in Chicago called Fug. And we agreed that we were going to have our first kind of like, I guess, a date-type deal. And there's this park here in Chicago at the corner of Lincoln and Montrose. We thought that would be a good place to meet. And at the time I had just downloaded all three seasons of Radio Lab.

and was basically free-basing it every day. Not that we, of course, endorse such a thing. And why did it occur to you to give her radio? I mean, what did you think giving her radio lap would make her think about you? I thought it would tell her that I'm sensitive and aware to, you know, kind of the greater truths of the things that are out there, because I think that's what Radio Lab brings is. you know, an investigation of what it's like to be a human being.

And she's a very passionate person. Being alive is, I mean, she's good at that. She lives well. And I wanted to show her that I can too, that I can appreciate things that are exceptionally beautiful. Oh, wow. You guys can use that for marketing. Yeah, we sure can. Yeah, I just put little brackets around it and quotation marks and put your name under it and put it on Broadway.

No, but that's really sweet. Did it work? Uh, yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Well, tell me to set the, set the whole scene for us. You're in the park, you said, and yeah. You give her these CTs. How did that all go down? Well, uh, we, you know, the thing I remember really distinctly, this is kind of ridiculous is that we were mobbed by dogs. We're dogs all over the park that day. And, uh, that's kind of incidental to the story, but there were dogs all over us. And we just had to sit there

and tolerate people coming up and saying, hi, here's our dog. Yeah. And so I give her these three discs and I promised her I said if you actually listen to all three of these you will find afterwards that your soul has been expanded if just a little bit. I guess that's what she did. So we have to just put out an all-point spilitan

that if you are a young woman somewhere in the Chicago area and you meet some cute guy walking around with cassettes, just walk the other way quickly. No. If he's coming at you. On the contrary. Radio Lab is his heart stick. Yeah, you can't miss him. He'll be dressed up like an executive

assist. Hey, I just want to thank you guys for everything you guys do with Radio Lab. It's one of those beautiful things out there in the world. It's amazing that it's free because I would absolutely pay for it. And we'll do that. You should pay for the things that you love, otherwise you lose them. Right on. Okay.

Well, thank you, Chris. Thanks. Thank you guys. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Thanks, guys. So now, I guess I have to wonder, I mean, do you think that our program is, you know, hot enough? Well, a brainy, sure.

But, like, would a girl get turned on if we handed them her us? Are you skeptical? A teeny, man. Yeah, yeah. Valid skepticism. But just as a matter of fact, I have her number. Excellent. So let's call her.

Okay. Hello. Hello. Hi, is this Lisa? Yes. Hey, this is Jad. How are you? Dad.

I'm doing great. It is so good to hear your voice again. Oh, well, it's so... Again, so you guys have talked before? Well, only in that way that we talked to people over here. I just want to make sure that nothing strange is going on. That's Robert, by the way. Hi, Robert.

Okay, so Lisa, I'm sure you know what we're doing. We're trying to raise money for public radio and in various ways demonstrate the good that public radio can do in the world. bringing people, I don't know, peace of mind, love perhaps or not. So can you tell us how you first heard about Radio Lab and that story? Well, during this rehearsal process of this show, I met a wonderful man, and we decided to meet in the park. And he had mentioned that he was going to burn something for me. Burn something?

What were you? His finger, actually. He was going to do some kind of active self. your name into. I didn't know what to expect, but I thought, well, let's see here. A guy knows that girl likes him has finally agreed to meet girl. I'm thinking, hmm, Wilco CD. Or something kind of, you know, neutral and accessible and easy to listen to music.

And when I approached him, it's the first thing that he handed me were these three CDs. And I look at him, it says, who am I? Memory and forgetting and sleep. So I said, what is this? And this is a show called Radio Lab, and it's New York, and these two guys are amazing, and I'm into it right now and telling everyone about it, and I'd like to know what you think of it. So you have to go home, wait until night time. Turn off all the lights in your house.

Put this in your CD player. I said, when you get home, don't listen to these immediately. Hang on to them for a couple of hours, because you want to do these. at the end of your day when there's no distractions and noise going around. So turn your cell phone off. Don't put on vibrate. Turn it off so that it won't disturb you. And turn off the TV and any other incidental noise.

Put a note up on the door telling people that you're busy doing something so they won't come in and disturb you. And put your earphones on to you. And then listen and kind of give yourself over to it. And just allow yourself to experience. this show. Wow. So you went home and did you do that? Did you do

what he asked? I actually I put it in and got into bed and I just snuggled up under the covers and got these I had these big kind of DJ bass heavy headphones on. So I listened to sleep. That was the first one. That first night at a hotel, why is it no one could sleep

well that first night at a hotel? On your first night of sleeping in a hotel room. You generally have less REM sleep and less deep slow wave sleep relative to sleeping in your house. I suffer from that myself. I don't sleep well in hotel rooms, especially if it's just one night per place or something, my sleep is terrible. There are some folk that actually hypothesized there are certain predator relays in the brain. Danger, danger, danger, danger. And that these circuits remain active at all times. And meanwhile, you're feeling for the guy just getting deeper and bigger and warmer and

well sure because I think that when you choose to share something from your life with someone it's really the things that come into your life things you integrate become a part of you and when you saw him next what was that conversation like

I actually I called him the next I'm so excited and we had just met you and I thought oh I'm coming on too strong and I said Chris I had to call you that Santa Claus guy in the sleep lab. Is that for real? Do you think that's for real?

He showed us tape after tape. We're viewing a man who we are very affectionately call Santa Claus. On the screen, large guys thrashes back and forth. His legs are moving. He's going back and forth with his side to his back.

And then suddenly he starts to Oh, ho, ho, ho. Oh, oh. Do people actually do that? I mean, that's a human condition where people, ho, ho, ho, and there's sleep and we had we just laughed about it and you could tell that you know our passions about the subject were matching and we had all this new information this whole world of information to explore through

the show so Lisa let me ask you sort of a business question here sure if you were going to talk to all of the radio lab listeners out there in the world all the public radio listeners and ask them to support the show what would you say why would someone want to do that you think I think that it's very easy to go about everyday life, to go from place to place, having the same conversations, getting very comfortable in what you think you know. And what I love about Radio Lab is it opens up your world, it opens up your awareness to things that you may see every day but not know how to delve deeper into. And you guys do the work for us.

You do your research and find all these fascinating people to talk to. and present this information in a way that is entertaining, it's funny, it's sobering, and educational all at once. And are you and Chris now living together in a small little house in a cavern somewhere in a beautiful park setting with Lake Michigan? With two and a half dogs and one child and 2.5 is in that. We actually did part ways just a matter of days ago, about a week ago. And I'm so amazing to me that you guys came right before we knew each other,

and now just as it's ending, you're back again. I don't understand that, but it feels like... Oh, my God. Did you think it's because we didn't get in with our next season quick enough? Yeah, do you think if we had just turned out some more shows, this might have lasted a few beats longer? Do you have one on the different way men and women are raised to communicate with each other? There was a little bit of, we touched on that in the one about the body, you know, where my wife gets really mad at me because I don't cook.

Did you hear that one? Not yet. Catching up with the podcast. It's the Where Am I Show. Yeah, yeah. I know you can hear real, real intermarital distress if you listen closely. Yeah. So things just sort of, are you still, sounds like you, your heart is, are you the one with the broken heart? Or did you say no and not, I don't want to do this anymore?

I absolutely adore him. There's no doubt about that. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this person, and that was actually the first time I had ever felt or said anything like that to someone. Well, we just want you to know, Lisa, that you know you may have broken up with Chris, but we really hope you haven't broken up with us? No. In fact, we still think there's a future with you, Lisa.

We hope you do, too. I'm so flattered. And I get two of you, too. It's so wonderful. I listened to memory and forgetting this morning, because, of course, it's so pertinent that, you know, the way that we both are going to, that Chris and I are going to construct a story that protects us,

that preserves memories or changes them according to our own survival techniques, our own coping mechanisms, how we're going to deal with these feelings, and I'm listening to memory and forgetting going. So this is how the brain works. This is what's going on inside of me. That's awesome. Reporter Anne Heperman tracked him down for us. Intuitively, you think if you use a memory, you know better because you remember it better,

you recall it better, you know the details better and so on and so on. But this is not what science shows. If you have a memory, the more you use it, the more you're likely to change it. So if you never use your memory, it's secured. So taking it a bit farther, the safest memories are the memories which are in the brain of people who cannot remember. Well, thank you so much for taking the time out to talk to us and sharing the story. It was really cool to talk to you. It's the same here, guys.

It's been an absolute pleasure. I hope I want you guys just to be on every person's podcast. I want everyone walking around instead of listening to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake to be thinking about the soul and be thinking about their hearts and communication. Thank you. I know Brittany and Justin feel the same way. I have their telegram somewhere in my pocket. It certainly you can think about the soul while listening to Brittany and Justin.

So maybe you just listen to us first. You could think about the soul everywhere. It's everywhere. Well, thanks so much. Thank you, guys. What an absolute pleasure. It's been talking with you. And I hope you have a fantastic day. You too. To you out there who are listening right now, and maybe there's someone in your life or was in your life. And you had something with that person that was really special and meaningful.

Maybe it was a moment. but it's not there anymore, but it still is in your heart. Make a pledge in honor of that person or that moment. Because we all have people who we got really close to and then kind of things just didn't quite work out, but you never quite give that up. And thank God for the radio after that person is no longer around. You've got some smart place to go where you can hear intelligent,

meaningful stories that are emotional too. Well, thank God for the radio to get you. to the place which you'll never forget. Either way. Going in, coming out, we're always here. So what we want you to do, and to remind you is that if you wish, just go to our www.w.radialab.org.

Click on support. Give us a buck or two or three. That's all. Oh, you know what? By the way, before we go, we just want to say people in Chicago. Chicago land, they call themselves. People out in Chicago land.

In Chaitown on October 26. On October 26th and 27th, which is Sunday and Monday of this week. That's right. Robert and I will actually be in Chicago at the Victory Gardens Biographed Theater. You know where that is in Chicago. Two shows. If you want to come see us, we'd love to see you. At the Victory Gardens, Biograph Theater in Chicago.

Right. Or Chicago land. So, you know, go to RadioLab.org and get some tickets. Yeah. Radio Lab is funded in part by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, the National Science Foundation and the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, who this month are honoring a flash of genius. It's a film, and it's winner of the 2008 feature film fries

and science and technology at the Hampton's International Film Festival. I'm Chad Abumrod. I'm Robert Quilwich. We'll see you next week. Hear you, or whatever. In two weeks.